Jubilation!

Jubilation writ large on the 22 faces that turned up this morning. It showed in the twinkle in Hari Singh Shekhawat’s eyes, in Bapu Rane’s permanent grin, in Srichand Arora’s triumphant look, in Ved Prakash Grover’s upturned chin… Everybody was there, rejoicing at India’s 29-run win over Pakistan in the World Cup semi-final last night.
Nothing could be more heart-warming than the sight of Shekhawat hugging everybody and saying, “Bahut achcha hua”. In his happiness, Arora greeted even rank strangers with “Jai Sri Krishna”, followed by “Congratulations!” Passers-by, on the walking track, hailed one another joyously -- “Mubarak Ho!”
Tara Chand (left), wore a bemused smile, watching the euphoria all around. “Morcha kab nikalogey?” he queried jokingly. He confessed to not watching the match at a stretch because of a superstitious belief that should he do so, India would lose. So he kept switching the TV on and off for the entire eight-hour duration of the match.
Bhaswati Bose informed that since she never wins a bet, she had put her money on a Pakistan win. Shekhawat still cannot get over his grandson climbing all over him, each time a Pakistani wicket fell. (It is another matter that he downed four pegs of whiskey last night.) Arora’s prime regret was that India should have taken the Pakistanis’ permission before walloping them. “Even Alexander had asked how Porus wanted to be treated,” he argued.
And so the stories went on…
In between, Mumtaz Jahan dropped a clanger, announcing that there was a tall, dark stranger on the prowl who followed women around the Garden, mouthing filthy language. She could not however, identify him. Both Arora and Shekhawat gallantly assured her that they would “take care of him” if he were to ever show up. Some ladies cautioned that this pervert could get violent as he had threatened to slap a lady once.
For Ramila Mistry (right), it was a day to say her good-byes before she takes the train tomorrow to Delhi for an onward trip to Haridwar-Rishikesh. There she would be attending a camp of her spiritual guru and on April 15, be returning with 35 litres of Ganges water. Let us wish her a safe, fulfilling and enjoyable journey.

Caught Unawares

It is one thing to be not in sync with the others while exercising. And it is quite another to be so absent-minded as to be caught on the wrong foot – as Nahid Khan was to realize this morning with a rude jolt.
As it is, the lady has wires dangling out of her ears at all times. If the music from the cell-phone was not distracting enough, she had to engage everybody around her in conversation, little realizing that Srichand Arora (yes, he was back today!) was repeatedly shouting her name to pay attention. When realization dawned, she promptly threw up her hands and let out an awkward “Ha-Ha Ha-Ha” only to discover that everybody was busy doing the silent laughter at that time.
This is a common faux pas that is more startling to the person who laughs out of turn than to anybody else. From Shekhawat and Sitaram to Sunita Jajodia and Khatoon Baig, everybody has embarrassed himself/ herself this way at some time. It happens out of inattentiveness, being preoccupied with thoughts or from plain day-dreaming.
For instance, Nafisa Syed (right) tends to be absorbed in the music playing, the crows cawing above, or perhaps, commenting on somebody’s antics… anything and everything, but rarely with the exercises. The best part is that she just could not be bothered with what others have to say. Far from making amends, she would continue with what she was doing or simply walk away to rest on a bench.
And what would you say of Bose Babu today, who had decided to shut himself from the world? While others were rotating their wrists, he was merrily driving away mosquitoes. When everybody was doing nachh-baliye, he was trying to fly… He was on his own trip till a host of ladies, including Ramila Mistry, Santosh Tyagi and Gopvinita began pointing fingers at him. Their combined laughter woke him from his reverie.
And then we had Kiran Sajjan (left), who took the cake and walked away with it too. As usual she came in late, inspected the new location (see yesterday’s post) where we had shifted and then started exercising at her own pace. Suddenly she stopped. With her back to us, she stared in the direction of the nullah as though waiting for something to appear. She stood in that position, frozen, waiting and waiting for a good five minutes. By then the exercises were over.

Time to Relocate

It’s time to relocate from the corner where we exercise every morning in the Garden. By 7:30 a.m., the place becomes so hot and sunny that the last 20-odd minutes is an ordeal for everybody. The ladies are particularly inconvenienced in the absence of any shade in their half of the circle. So from tomorrow, we would be moving to another part of the Garden where the sun is not as harsh and we should be able to complete our exercises in relative comfort.
The place identified by Shekhawat-ji is at the far end of our quadrangle, near the cemented platform where some stragglers hold their daily durbar. The only problem with this location is that there is also a public toilet close by. As some members pointed out, should the breeze take a “wrong direction”, it would be hell standing there even for a minute. But then, our options are limited.
Meanwhile, concern is mounting over Hari Naraiyani (left) who has stopped coming for the past two months. Last heard, he was attending to his wife who had been hospitalized with an acute thyroid problem. Some say that the couple had since gone to Haridwar-Rishikesh on pilgrimage. But nobody is sure. Hari-bhai’s whereabouts remain a mystery.
Srichand Arora is also incommunicado after he had shown up with a bandaged leg a few days back. He insisted that he was fine and there’s nothing to worry. But his protracted silence becomes a cause for worry. Let’s hope it isn’t anything serious and he’s able to rejoin us soon for the exercises on a regular basis.
Bhaswati Bose says:
Request all members to be present in the Garden tomorrow morning so that we can pray for Team India and do an additional "itni zor se lambi hansi" that it reaches Mohali!
--Bhaswati

“Leave Vacancy”

Khatoon Baig (right) today coined a new term for the emergency situation arising out of the absence of seniors who conduct exercises for us in the Garden. She called this “leave vacancy”. Since Srichand Arora, Sitaram Hivarkar, Nahid Khan, Yusuf Rassiwala and Razia Khan were missing from action this morning, Bapu Rane was promoted to fill up the “leave vacancy”. He did the exercise session, while Hari Singh Shekhawat moved in to take his place for the laughter rounds.
It must be said that both did a fine job in the middle, earning the appreciation of all the 19 present this morning. “Kya karein, kabhi na kabhi toh mujhe karwana padta,” Shekhawat-ji (below, left) said returning the compliments. “Sab log aajkal dabaa-ke phunti maar rahein hain!”
He had a spot of good news also. On April 17 or 24 (subject to the convenience of members) he plans to take the next excursion out – to ROYAL GARDEN RESORT, near Dahisar Check Naka. “It is not very far, has all the facilities most resorts have, food is unlimited and it would not cost us much,” Shekhawat-ji said, amidst a round of applause from the ladies. “We shall leave early morning and return by sunset.”
As these are early days yet, there were no dissenting voices. Shekhawat-ji made it clear that he would "rather have a picnic now than wait for peak summer or when the monsoon sets in”. Furthermore, he assured that members and their families would be given first preference and only if there was place in the bus, would “outsiders” be taken – that too, on a first-come first-serve basis.
If anything, he would get to use the stamp he has made for allotment of seats in the bus.
Dilip Babani says:
Royal Garden Resort is very nice for the picnic. Everybody will like it because the food there is delicious. Rain Dance is nice and swimming pool is very nice. Slides are there. Now that the climate is hot and vacations are on, it will be nice fun at the resort. Breakfast is nice and lunch is very nice. Tea, coffee and pav-bhaji will be served. There will be lots of enjoyment like non-veg food and alcohol. So all the members will enjoy. Everybody will say that this is a very nice place.
--Dilip

PIC OF THE WEEK: 23

SLICE OF LIFE: This picture was taken yesterday. Guess what are they up to?


Dilip Babani says:
In this picture Shekhawat is running after some woman. I think they are playing pakra-pakri or kho-kho. What sportsman sprit at their age! They are playing, but where are the other Club members? I think the photo was taken on Holi, but then, there are no colours. I am totally confused. Actually, if members permit, we all should be playing pakra-pakri and kho-kho every day in the Garden. However, many members have health problems. So how will we play? Otherwise this is the best way to have fun. Or we can play langri-langri, dabba, I Spy... I feel we should have a Sports' Day and the winners be awarded certificates at their old age.
--Dilip
Anonymous says:
Arrey, please mera laddoo toh lauta de. Main chhodunga nahin. Mujhe mera laddoo vapis chaihiye!
--Anon
Anonymous says:
Shekhawat-ji, women are like a mirage. Never chase them. Main kabhi tere haath na aani!
--Anon with due respect to one an all. This is just for fun.

Weekend High

Hari Singh Shekhawat was right about Yusuf Rassiwala yesterday. He said that now that Yusuf-bhai had shown up after one week, we can expect him to make his next appearance not before another week. Sure enough, Yusuf-bhai was absent today.
But Srichand Arora (below, left) was there. He too had disappeared for a while, nursing a slip disc and congested chest (which had got aggravated because of the renovation work at his home). Today, he came limping into the Garden with a crepe bandage, stapled securely above his left ankle. He was in obvious pain, but kept a brave front. “Since it was getting boring at home, I decided to drop by,” he explained.
Arora-sah’b did not take part in the exercises, choosing to sit by on a bench and watch us instead. Those who enquired about the cause of his distress were given several evasive, but hilarious explanations: “I went to bed and woke up with a sprained leg!” “I wanted to play football with a cricket ball!” This was to only spark all sorts of speculative stories among members, the most credible one being, “He tried to kick someone, but ended up kicking the wall!”
Be that as it may, Arora-sah’b’s presence brightened the mood in the Garden, particularly after an inordinately lean phase. What’s more, from a daily turnout of barely 15 over the past five days, attendance swelled to an incredible 40-plus this morning. With women back in a majority, there was no stopping the constant banter, sharp digs and humorous asides.
Funnily, Shekhawat-ji (right) chose this day to explain what had gone wrong with him after his return from his last Diwali vacation. He began by extolling the benefits of attending the Club everyday, how laughter is a “complete exercise” and keeps body and mind fit, etc. when Gopvinita cornered him with a teaser: “What happened to you when you stopped talking to us, refusing to smile or even recognize us?”
That did it. Shekhawat-ji bared his heart, confessing to his personal battle with depression and how he finally got over it with medical intervention. He suspected a woman, known to be a practitioner of black magic in his village, who could have “mixed something” in what he had eaten or drank. Such frankspeak, appropriately laced with crude slang and humorous exchanges, only builds trust and strengthens the bonding between members.

Lead pic: Nahid Khan distributing prasad on behalf of an elderly lady.

Renu Babani says:
Looks like everyone had fun today at the Garden. And why not? We are in New Delhi, just reached a while ago at the hotel. Shall keep myself updated with the blog whenever time permits. Tomorrow it's Haridwar.
--Renu

World Cup Buzz

India’s sensational win last night in the quarter-final fixture against Australia was the main buzz of the morning. Till yesterday, die-hard cricket fans like Bapu Rane and Bhaswati Bose were skeptical about India making it to the semi-final. They even spoke of lighting agarbattis and performing puja on their TV sets to seek divine intervention.
Today Rane was ecstatic. Beaming from ear to ear, he boogied into the Garden, looking like a toothless trapeze artiste who had lost his way. He was soon to be joined on the bench by Ved Prakash Grover, Hari Singh Shekhawat and Yusuf Rassiwala among others, one more excited than the other – as though India had already lifted the World Cup. “I couldn’t watch any of my TV serials last night because of the match,” said Shekhawat, known to be otherwise quite indifferent towards cricket.
“Dhoni took a wise decision by not sending Pathan,” noted Yusuf-bhai. “Remember the way Raina skied the ball for a six? That was the real game changer. Raina played a rock solid and responsible inning.”
“No, it was Yuvraj Singh who was the game changer,” argued Rane. “What daring he has – 57 not-out! He gave stability to the team.”
“Bechara Ponting, this is his last World Cup,” intervened Kishor Babani.
“I feel sorry for that Australian bowler also," added Grover-sah'b. "What’s his name? Brett Lee. He got hit under the eye and was bleeding. Still he came to bowl!”
The conversation inevitably veered towards next Wednesday when India meets Pakistan in the semi-finals. “Pakistan koh harana mangtaa hai,” said Rane, suddenly turning thoughtful.
But for the cricket talk, it was a normal day at the Club. Since Kishor-bhai had to leave midway through the exercises, his quota of jokes for the morning (jotted on a piece of paper) was read out by Yusuf-bhai (right). But it was not the same. As Shekhawat observed, you need style to narrate a joke. “Sabhi ke bas ka nahin hai,” he pointed out.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Maar diya paapad wale koh!"
Tara Chand on India defeating Australia by 5 wickets yesterday.

Dilip Babani says:
Yes, cricket was the main attraction today. All the Club members were happy that India has reached the semi-final. While India was playing, everybody was praying to God not to make the player out. But my suggestion to all is not to over-react in a cricket match. Do not feel bad if anything goes wrong. One should be strong to face bad with good. We are born to be happy always -- just as we are happy during the morning exercises, which make us feel strong. Somebody getting a heart attack and dying due to India losing a match, or fainting, or putting himself on fire... you are not born to do such bad things. You watch cricket to enjoy -- whether India wins or loses. Don't put your heart in the match. It is only a game. You are made for bigger things, which are much more important.
--Dilip

Phunti Season

Phunti is a word peculiar to Shekhawat’s vocabulary. The closest English equivalent is A.w.o.l. – the U.S. military expression for being ‘away without leave’. So if you are away even for a day, Shekhawat would pull you up (as he did Khatoon Baig this morning for absconding yesterday) for doing “phunti dabaa-ke”. And then there are the habitual absconders like Yusuf Rassiwala, who end up being called "phunti masters”.
As the mercury creeps up, doing phunti becomes fashionable. Of course, there are excuses galore – had to go to hospital, slept late at night, not feeling well, urgent work in the morning… Nobody admits to lethargy and over-sleeping. But that is the fact. With every passing day, it becomes increasingly difficult to psyche yourself for the expedition to the Garden at the crack of dawn. Little wonder, attendance has dropped by more than 50 per cent in the last three days.
It will drop even further. Soon the summer exodus will begin as everybody would want to take off to cooler climes. Already Razia Khan is vacationing in the U.S. and Harbans Singh is away at Ludhiana. Today, Kishor Babani (above) announced that he and Renu would be leaving the day-after (Saturday) for Mussouri -- combining Delhi, Haridwar and Dehradun enroute.
Then from April 1, Ramila Mistry (left) would be away for a fortnight-long religious camp at Haridwar. Bapu Rane says that his annual “mango harvesting” visit to his village at Sindhudurg is overdue. Srichand Arora has his annual trip to Singapore also coming up. So would the Boses be going on their summer vacation…
But life at the Garden would continue. Men may come and men may go, but the Club shall continue for ever.

Just Another Day

There are days when the Garden is abuzz with activity, uproarious laughter and great camaraderie. And there are days when nothing happens and everybody sleepwalks through the exercise routine and disperses silently. Today was one such day.
After a hectic, action-packed fortnight, the dull morning came as an anti-climax – more so, after the needless tamasha yesterday. Some seniors summoned Nahid Khan to tell her that there was nothing wrong about the way she conducted the exercises and that she should not take yesterday’s incident to heart. Also, should anybody fault her in future, she should promptly make way for that person to conduct the exercises in her place.
Nahid Khan needed such moral support to return to the middle and take charge of the proceedings with renewed confidence. Bapu Rane (above) was his usual frisky self while conducting the laughter rounds. Nothing else happened besides… which only reinforces the basic principle of life: To appreciate the good, we need a bit of the bad. We need an occasional dull day to cherish the fun-filled mornings.
Harish Wadhwa says:
Each day above the ground is a good day. So they say. Thanks to the Almighty for the same. Also, thanks to Kishor-bhai and Santosh-ji, the joke session makes up for everything and leaves a smile on each face.
--Harish
Renu Babani says:
Today's turnout was unexepectedly low. There were more men, which rarely happens. Everyone dutifully followed the exercise routine and it was quiet on the whole. I guess, a bit of calm was needed for a change and things went smoothly. The Badmaash Company headed out for their regular tea after the exercise, although Kishor decided not to join them today. Here's to another day tomorrow. Let's see what happens!
--Renu

Flash Point

Matters reached a flashpoint on an otherwise pleasant morning when Nahid Khan (below, left) suddenly found herself at the receiving end for conducting the exercises. A group of belligerent ladies, led by Mumtaz Jahan and Khatoon Baig charged her with rushing through the exercises and complained to Shekhawat-ji in as many words. Later, Sitaram-ji joined them, while other men, including Bapu Rane and Tara Chand-ji defended Nahid.
Now, this is not the first time someone has been accused of being in a tearing hurry while conducting the exercises. For that matter, this is not the first time for Nahid Khan to be conducting the exercises. She has been doing so, uncomplainingly, almost every day. In fact, she is regarded as one of the most competent and dedicated “teachers” we have. Today, in the absence of any of the seniors, she took to the middle as usual and was done with the laughter and exercise rounds in normal time – neither early, nor late.
To be now suddenly faulted for pushing things so fast as to cause physical injury (“What happens if I sprain my neck?”), obviously smacks of some deep-seated prejudice. It was uncalled for. There was no necessity for saying, “Let her go her way if she’s in such a hurry, we can do without her”. Rather than be grateful to the lady for giving us her time and getting things moving every morning, we are making her feel guilty for something completely unfounded. Shekhawat-ji explained that we don’t have much choice in the matter since the seniors who conduct exercises (including Srichand Arora, Yusuf Rassiwala, Sitaram and Razia Khan) have all become irregular these days. But this scarcely resolves the issue.
Incidentally, Arora-sah’b has devised an ingenious method to preempt this situation -- to some extent at least. For the past few days, he has been pressing for a specific count on each exercise. It could be five times, or eight times, even ten times… But it had to be decided in advance by consensus, so that all the exercises get due importance without creating a feeling of being rushed or wasting time. Moreover, this would set a certain rhythm and streamline our routine. The time has come to give this counting system a serious thought.
Meanwhile, amidst all the hullabaloo, Sunita Jajodia (above) hurriedly distributed prasad from a shrine she had recently visited in Rajasthan. She did not hang around to give us the details. And we relished the sweet without asking her questions that would only have delayed her return home.
Dan Sharma says:
For an outsider, the pace of the exercises seemed normal when I had joined in. I remember it was led by a lady member. If the count system is used, it would help regularise the pace. Happy Holi!
--Dan
Renu Babani says:
Honestly, I totally agree that Mrs Khan should be appreciated for doing the exercise routine almost daily. She never complains and is always smiling. I don't see any problem in her way of exercising and neither does she rush anything. I suppose everyone has their own views, but there is a way of talking about it like grown-ups and not letting things get out of hand. There was an unnecessary heated argument this morning and remarks which could have been avoided. Let us enjoy our time together, not sit and argue when there is no reason whatsoever. Everyone has a busy schedule in the morning and there should be a time set as to when the entire exercise routine should be finished. So, no finger pointing, criticism or constant nagging, because it leads to ill-feelings and begins to cause cracks amongst the members.
--Renu
Dilip Babani says:
Yes, it is true that Nahid Khan is doing the best job. There is no problem at all. I don't know why some members just talk against her. If anybody has a problem, s/he can tell her directly rather than complain to Shekhawat-ji. All members are free to talk to one another. Since Nahid Khan never replies back, some members take her for granted. This is totally wrong. We are friends after all. Then why complain to Shekhawat-ji? Small-small things become big issues unnecessarily.
--Dilip

Comings and Goings

A day of comings and goings – and mass absenteeism. Probably the week-end Holi festivities had something to do with this. Only 15 members, mostly men, showed up in the morning. Even Nahid Khan and Kishor Babani did not turn up. As a result, Bapu Rane and Srichand Arora (in spite of a slip-disc problem and nasty cough) conducted the exercises today.
But we had some interesting visitors. A frail lady in white (right), bent double with age and barely able to hold herself without support, joined us during the laughter round and to our utter disbelief, went through all the motions sportingly. True, we had to slow down a bit because of her, but we all marveled at her never-say-die spirit – especially during some of the tougher exercises requiring bending, clearing the lungs and the lion and lioness laugh. After the final claps, Shekhawat-ji went up to her and touched her feet out of respect.
The other new ‘entrant’ today was Gopvinita (below, right). We have known her all along as Geeta Sardana, but after her formal initiation (appropriately, deeksha) into the ISKCON order yesterday, she is now another person with a different identity. “You may call me Vinita if you like," she declared, displaying the new tulsi mala (sacred basil) around her neck. However, Arora-sah’b refused to buy that. “Hum toh aapko Maate-ji hi bulayenge,” he said with folded hands for the nth time.
Gopvinita has been an ardent devotee of Lord Krishna for years, abiding by the strictures her faith demands, including strict abstinence from garlic and onions in her food. So she will not really have to make any life-altering adjustments now (there’s yet another deeksha coming up, she says) to the extent, she would retain her original name in her passport, voter’s ID card and other documents for legal purposes.
Today also happened to be Razia Khan’s (left) last day at the Garden before she leaves for the U.S. on a two-month holiday. She dropped by with her son to take leave, pleading (in jest) that Shekhawat-ji should not terminate her membership. We wish her a safe journey and a happy stay at San Francisco.
Renu Babani says:
Yes, the after-effects of the Holi party at the Garden did show up this morning. I was unable to get up and decided to take it easy. However, the memories will remain etched in my mind for a long time to come.
I guess we do have different people coming and going, joining in the exercises and then disappearing after a few days. However, it is interesting to meet different people as well.
Hopefully I shall be back at the Garden Tuesday morning and get back to the routine... Enough of rest!
--Renu

PIC OF THE WEEK: 22

HOLI CELEBRATIONS AT THE CLUB: These are the only pictures that could be salvaged after the camera packed up!HOLI 2011 will remain forever etched in the collective memory of the Club, what with close to 50 members turning up this morning to celebrate the festival of colours with rare fervour and abandon. Even Mr Sharma was there. Here you see (from above) the group partaking in the refreshments, the wild bunch and Srichand Arora (left) preparing thandai for the occasion. What you don't see is Shekhawat doing the Munni-bai jig, Harish Wadhwa going absolutely berserk and Dilip Babani making lal bandars out of everybody! But it was dry colours all the way...

Arushi Tyagi says:
HAPPY HOLI TO ALL OF YOU!
--Arushi
Renu Babani says:
Yes, today Holi was celebrated in style and colours galore. Everyone was in a festive mood. Rest assured no bhang was added to the thandai (at least, I hope so). What started as everyone enjoying the snacks, ended up with everyone's hands filled with various colours to ensure that each member's face was smeared and the pictures definitely prove it. It was a day to remember and everyone was in splits by the end of it.
--Renu
Dilip Babani says:
Today's Holi was the best Holi we had in Garden. We enjoyed with colours, eating snacks and drinking thandai made by our beloved president, Arora-ji. Everybody's mood was very nice. Every moment we were laughing, singing and dancing. All were amazed because nobody expected all men and women to behave like little boys and girls in that one hour. Thanks to the members who came and made this Holi special. Special thanks to Arora-ji, Shekhawat-ji, Kishor-bhai, Harish-bhai and yes, Mr and Mrs Bose. Together, they organised everything nicely and became Mr and Mrs Monkeys in the end!
-- Dilip
Special thanks are due to Kajal and Dilip Babani as well for being the very life of the celebration.
Harish Wadhwa says:
Wow, what a Holi! Nice to see the camaraderie between all members and the deep urge to enjoy with one and all. Thandai and food only added to the celebration. After all, this is life -- when we have some nice moments to retrospect upon, while time flies by. Blog Monster, you were no less -- spending time behind the lens, enjoying and capturing some nice moments. I only wish I could take an immortal picture of the two of you with coloured faces. Wow, they were truly RED, literally. Guruji (Arora-ji) ki Thandai ne toh rang hi la diya. He is looking so nice making thandai like a halwai. Mr and Mrs Sushma Gupta also got some nice aam ka panna for those who did not try thandai. We know whom to catch now for drinks on a future occasion. Each member tried his/her prank to make it a fun and memorable morning. Did you also notice the women becoming “girls”, chasing their friends with gulal-loaded hands? I only pray to the Almighty, that may He keep all members and their families in the pink of health and bless everybody with a life full of happiness. (Sentimental ho gaya, bhai!).
--Harish

Best Kanji in Town

Never has kanji tasted better. In fact, there’s no better time to have kanji than on Holi. And as everybody at the Garden realized this morning, nobody in Mumbai makes it any better than Santosh Tyagi. It had the perfect texture, tanginess, colour and density as good kanji ought to be. This refreshing summer drink, made from fermented carrot, beetroot and a dash of mustard is incidentally, alien to Mumbai taste buds. It is traditionally brewed in north-Indian homes and has been associated with Holi festivities for ages. (In Mumbai, thandai is more popular during Holi.) Santosh-ji brought with her the knowledge and skills of preparing kanji from Delhi and no sooner did our members get used to the acquired taste than gallons were guzzled in less than half an hour!
Truly, it was Santosh-ji’s labour of love for the Club. For close to a fortnight, she had been preparing for this day and by eight in the morning, she had come fully equipped with a serving tray, plastic glass and spoon, water jug, pickles, boondi… not to mention, the giant bottles of the red drink. Of course, the ladies were there to assist her at handing out the glasses while the men, as always, sat on their backsides and enjoyed the divine concoction. After all, can there be a better way to chill out in the sun after a sweaty session of exercising?
Dilip Babani says:
Yes, it is true that the kanji was delicious. Everybody liked it. Some ladies were asking Santosh-ji how she made it. They wanted the recipe. We men always like to eat and drink and enjoy. We have no need to think of receipes. Women are made by God to make nice-nice things so that their husbands enjoy and remain in their control. Every woman knows how to win the heart of her husband. By filling his stomach with delicious food, she makes the husband happy. And when husband is happy, you know he will do all the things she likes. Even what he doesn't like, he will do happily.
--Dilip
Harish Wadhwa (rt.) says:
Nice to see our Big Laaf members enjoying the khooni drink, also known as "gulabo". Right for Holi maybe, but it is also consumed as a no-occasion drink with food. Very good for health. I am sure everyone would realise its after-effects -- visible normally the morning-after (Oops)! Santosh-ji has to share the recipe with all and also bring some for the unprivileged lot (like me) who were absent. I don't mind trying the khoon (blood).
--Harish
Bhaswati Bose says:
Santosh-ji's kanji was out of this world. Sorry Harish-bhai, bad luck you missed it. Opportunity comes only once... to taste blood!
--Bhaswati
Arushi Tyagi says:
1. Wow Nani (Santosh)! We want to taste kanji too... Please send some.
2. You all must taste my nani's aloo ka paratha. They are out of this world too!
--Arushi
Harish Wadhwa says:
Arushi, thanks for the clue. We will now get behind our dear Santosh-ji to serve us some nice Punjabi aaloo ka parotha with safed-makkhan maar ke! Santosh-ji, are you reading this blog to get the hint? Right?
--Harish
Neha Tyagi says:
Wow, Bua (Santosh Tyagi)! Picture dekh ke hi paani aagaya muuh mein -- kanji se bhari bottle dekh ke. Remembering the old times when we used to taste it every now and then to check whether it was ready or not. And by the time it was ready, it was quite less than the original quantity!
--Neha
Anonymous says:
Happy Holi to all of you. Mera bhi mann Holi khelne aur kanji peene ka ho reha hai. Kaaaaash... HAPPY HOLI, JIJI!
--Anon

Misplaced Sermon

Over the past few months, we have stuck to a daily ritual, post-exercise, while wrapping up the morning’s proceedings: Santosh Tyagi and Kishor Babani would narrate some jokes by turn and amidst a chorus of impulsive laughter, we would disperse for the day. If one of the narrators were to be absent, the other would make up by recounting a few extra jokes. The idea, quite clearly, is to keep everybody in good cheer for the rest of the day.
Today, for once, neither Santosh-ji nor Kishor-bhai showed up. In their place, a strange looking, self-styled godman (right) appeared out of nowhere and subjected us to a dreadful sermon on how we should be leading our lives. Quoting profusely from the Gita (who is to say?) in Sanskrit, he spoke about self-righteousness, dharma and the many ways to extend life on earth before we meet our Creator.
Now, who is interested in all this – especially when we are conditioned to listening to jokes at that morning hour? Yet, out of politeness, we were all ears for a while. And then, one by one, people started drifting away. By the end of his sermon, he still had a captive audience comprising Shekhawat, Monthi Serrao, Dilip Babani and Bhaswati Bose among others, listening intently to all the drivel on having lukewarm water instead of healthy food (“Never drink water in a standing position”), abstaining from everything that gives you pleasure, finding happiness and salvation by working harder in life, etc. Dilip-bhai got the message loud and clear: “Banish the housemaid right away and start doing the dishes and washing by yourself!”
By some coincidence, the same subject was discussed earlier in the course of the exercises (but in another context), when Srichand Arora commented that he is no hurry to meet the Creator. “There’s a long queue, a complete traffic jam up there,” he informed. “Who wants to get stuck in the traffic jam? It should not happen that we’d have to return half-way and find ourselves neither here nor there.”
Incidentally, his alter-ego and true likeness (above) is organizing a Sindhu Darshan Yatra to Leh between 23 and 25 June, 2011. He dropped into the Club with a flex banner, seeking the participation of members. Those interested may call (91-22) 26488240 or 26057250 for further details.
Renu Babani says:
I guess today was different, considering everyone present heard a satsang of sorts. Well, am sure it must have been interesting if this gentleman had some members hanging around. Mr Arora's comment about 'traffic jam' up there -- that is funny actually. Just imagine, it's like going to a movie and you are told it is houseful. However, with the movies you can go home but from up there, where do you go? Certainly, that is the reason each one has a certain time, and everything is organised accordingly. However, for now, let's live in harmony and enjoy the day. Who knows what tomorrow holds?
--Renu

Holi Aayee Re!

It was a dry, sunny morning. But a gentle breeze reminded us that it is not summer yet. Holi, the festival of spring, is round the corner. And Srichand Arora has lined up a little celebration for us in the Garden this Sunday.
Before him, Santosh Tyagi will be treating us to home-brewed kunji on Saturday. This sourish concoction of fermented carrots, beetroot and mustard seed has been a traditional drink on Holi in northern India. She wanted to bring it on Sunday, but Arora had already arranged for thandai (another Holi drink, but sweet). In effect, we shall be having a double Holi celebration this week-end.
Dilip Babani has been entrusted with getting dry colours (there’ll be no wet dyes and war paint) while brother Kishor and Arora-sah’b would be organizing the snacks and light refreshments. Nothing very elaborate, but the idea of letting our hair down together and celebrating in a spirit of joie de vivre is all that matters.
There’s some talk of getting bhang (a mild preparation of cannabis) as well, but nobody is quite sure about trying it. In case it does come into play and bhang gets mixed with thandai (as is done on Holi), it could be a huge game changer for our celebration. The very thought of how we would start behaving under its influence can be mind blowing!
Meanwhile, there’s news from Razia Khan (above, left) who was running high fever during the picnic last Sunday. Turns out that she had also developed rashes on her skin – presumably, due to prolonged exposure in the sun – and has been under medication since. She needs to recover fast as there’s a 22-hour journey ahead of her, to San Francisco on Monday, March 21. Before leaving, she promises to drop by to say her goodbyes.
Another member, Kiran Sajjan (right) is back from her holiday at Raniganj – the town in West Bengal she hails from. A part of her family still stays there. With her around, the demand for movie outings will be revived. The lady is a known movie buff and rarely misses a new release, especially if it is a comedy. Besides, we haven’t gone for a movie from the Club since Hum Dono. That was on February 5, 2011.
Dilip Babani says:
Holi is the day when everbody meets and puts colours on one another. We eat garam-garam samosas, doklas and chewra and drink cold thandai. Everybody is happy. Boys throw balloons filled with water and colours at girls. Girls like it that guys throw water balloons at them. For a full year they wait for Holi so that they can enjoy by getting wet. The guys say, "Bura na mano, Holi hai!"
Young boys and girls make tolis (groups) for Holi. I remember my days when I was very naughty and used to buy one packet of balloons. Filling them with water, we went to the terrace and hit out at the girls. All boys and girls used to go to the terrace and play Holi. Those were our golden days. Anyway, now our age is to have samosa, dokla, chewra and thandai. No more masti-majak. What to do now? There's no Sunita, Asha, Reena, Rita, Rekha...
--Dilip
Harish Wadhwa says:
Hello, I am back in Mumbai but alas, will have to leave for Pune for work. Shall return by Saturday evening. By the way, let us all celebrate Holi the way we are used to. Lets be "boys" for a while and not "men". How about some nice thandai, which Arora-ji used to make each year? Count me in for contribution, if you are planning something. Else, you guys will have to treat me at your homes!
--Harish
The thandai is on, as is the Holi bash on Sunday morning. Be sure you're there. Else, we'll all land up at your place!

Taking Stock

March is a good time for stocktaking. Or so would the government, banks and corporate bodies have us believe. Thus, it was well in the fitness of things that Hari Singh Shekhawat should be also convening a “review meeting” for the Club, if only to silence some members who have made a habit of being critical of others.
Without naming names, he took exception to the uncooperative attitude of these members during the picnic last Sunday – right from the time they boarded the bus and refused to occupy the seats allotted to them. He explained that even one such disruption upsets the entire seating plan in the bus, as a result of which, he was left without a seat this time and had to undertake the three-hour journey each way, standing.
“I did not mind the standing, but what I do object to is intemperate language... words like chhichhorapan used by some members, which were uncalled for,” Shekhawat said, clearly suggesting that his was a thankless job. “After all, why do we go for picnics, if not for some enjoyment? I tried my best to ensure everybody had a good time, because this is my Club. We are one family. But some members here think differently.”
Sitaram Hivarkar (right) assured Shekhawat that there was no khot in the way the picnic was organised, only that a view has to be taken about inviting “outsiders” in future. As guests, they take advantage of our hospitality and occupy all the prime seats in the bus, thereby inconveniencing all members. Shekhawat’s solution to this was to allot seat numbers on a ‘first-come first-serve’ basis in future and if necessary, put a sticker on every seat indicating the name of the bona fide passenger.
The other two items on the agenda were only incidental. On the question of admitting members, the names of two individuals came up, which were promptly shot down. It was decided that membership be kept frozen for the time being and anybody seeking admission will have to be “under observation” for two-to-four months.
On the vexatious issue of inviting guests to parties, it was held that this was solely the prerogative of the person hosting a party. But if one such guest wants to host a party for members, discretion will have to be exercised. Throwing a party must not automatically entitle the person to gain admission to all parties of the Club. As Yusuf Rassiwala (left) put it: “We are only too happy to eat at everybody’s party, but everybody cannot eat at our party!”
Renu Babani says:
Mr Shekawat made his point loud and clear. The comments in between were of course, no match as everyone was trying to outsmart the other. After all the laughter everyone dispersed, knowing that during the next picnic, something else will turn up. I guess, as a family, there are bound to be issues of various sorts. However, we tend to sideline everything and get back to our normal selves. This is what our Club members are all about -- live and let live. Life is too short to keep grudges and besides, there are better things to think about. So let's move on with our lives and ensure that as always, we come out stronger!
--Renu
Anonymous says:
Simply awesome. And here I thought my generation was the first to master dry wit. Seems I was wrong. Regards,
--A
Much appreciated. It would've been nicer had you given your name and location in Russia. Still, please continue posting your comments. We do value them.

Picnic Afterglow

Happy days are here again. After the week-long build-up for the Sunday picnic at Harshgiri, enduring the rigors of that trip and bunking exercises yesterday, things were back to normal this morning. Of the 30-odd members who turned up, ladies outnumbered the men as usual. The chatterers and the gigglers were all there, complimenting one another and adding to the overall sense of bonhomie.
Somehow, Neelam Garg (above) found herself at the receiving end with the ladies gunning at her for having recommended Harshgiri as a great picnic spot. Some suggested she scram before the exercises ended. An over-concerned Santosh Tyagi enquired if she had brought along some bodyguards for protection as nobody would spare her after the exercises.
Much as the lady explained to one and all that she never “recommended” the place and had only said that she found it “good”, nobody was prepared to listen. Long after the exercises were over, they kept chiding her for misleading us and she sportingly maintained that she found nothing wrong with the place when she had gone there. Obviously, times have changed and we had ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Another bright patch of the morning was Srichand Arora (right) being his old chatty self. He could not join us for the picnic because of a persistent slip disc problem. He is still in pain, but kept up a brave smile and his sporadic wisecracks through the exercise sessions. When Bapu Rane commented about a Marathi play in town on Gandhi’s assassination, Arora-sah’b was quick to retort: “Look, I address him as Bapu and he’s calling me Nathuram Godse!”
Even Prakash Motwani (left) was in a jovial mood while narrating a hilarious incident on how he almost got conned in trying to find a cure for his tinnitus problem. Quite simply, he suffers from a constant ringing in his left ear. But doctors have diagnosed him for a variety of ailments, from vertigo to degeneration of aural nerves… till he finally got hold of a reputed ENT surgeon at Versova. Without much ado, the wise doc prescribed a Walkman that plays “soothing music” when plugged to the ears. This way the ringing in the ears would be drowned and Motwani could even catch some sleep, the doctor promised.
The price of this stupid Walkman: Rs70,000 – payable in installments!
Renu Babani says:
Whatever the outcome of the picnic, everyone was back to their normal selves. Despite the blame game which was done in a cheerful way, everything else was back to routine. Mr Shekawat announced that a meeting will be held Wednesday morning after the exercise session, so hopefully everyone will attend. Yes, the picnic will be a constant topic for a while, considering the place was not at all impressive to say the least. However, no matter what one says now, it doesn't make a difference as it is over and time to move on. We do have a knack of finally laughing things off. So hopefully this time will be the same.
--Renu

Picnic at HARSHGIRI

There was neither any "harsh" (happiness) nor a "giri" (hill) at Harshgiri yesterday. Whatever happiness was derived, we drew from within ourselves. And if there was a lake somewhere, we did not see one. Instead, what we saw was a sprawling wasteland of ugly boulders and shrubs with an apology of a resort located in their midst. The toilets had run dry and were stinking to high heaven, no clothes’ hooks were visible in the changing rooms, the two swimming pools were slightly bigger than bathtubs, and dirty… Clearly, whoever named the place Harshgiri Lake Resort, must have had a terrific sense of humour.
But that did not deter us from having a blast. This was a major outing after six months and having survived a three-hour bus journey, we were determined to make the most of the situation. Within minutes of arriving and having breakfast together, the 53-member entourage broke into small groups and went their way.
Sitaram, Rane, Pawar and others formed one group and headed for the rain dance. Monthi Serrao, Harbans Singh and Santosh Tyagi constituted another group while Geeta Sardana, Ramila Mistry, Renu Babani and Bhaswati made for yet another. Harisingh Shekhawat, Bose and Dilip Babani chose to enjoy their spiked Pepsi together (right), play table-tennis, sit on the carrom table and generally spare about. Kishor Babani moved from one group to another, as did Tara Chand Seth and Ved Prakash Grover.
Generally everybody did their own thing, chilling out – whether it was getting drenched or scouring the resort, listening to old, soulful melodies (yes, Srichand Arora had loaned us the music system) or stealing guavas by the bagful from some god-forsaken place. And when Yusuf Rassiwala convened the Housie Session soon after lunch, they were all back in the picnic hut, only to concede much of the proceeds to Tara Chand and Kishor. Sitaram Hivarkar (left) too had his share of applause – particularly from an ecstatic female audience, who sang along with him till sundown.
The best was however, reserved for the last. During the trip back, for three full hours, Rehana Sheikh regaled us with her power-packed singing and antics. What’s more, she had Shekhawat this time, matching her song for song, act for act. The two were a total hoot! There was not a single person in the bus who did not crack up at their high-pitched drama. What more can one expect for Rs460?
(Out of Rs600 collected per head, the spillover of Rs140 was refunded at the end of the picnic.)
Renu Babani says:
Yes, as usual we know how to make the most of any situation. Despite the place, everyone was determined to have fun and definitely enjoyed themselves. I guess going in a group makes a difference. Apart from the fact of various complaints, ranging from the unhygenic conditions, heat and food that wasn't appetising, everyone returned home exhausted, but happy. Special thanks goes to Mr Shekawat for working so hard in organising the picnic, and also thank you Mr Bose and Mr Yusuf for helping out in every way possible, be it ensuring everyone was on that bus or each one got their respective refund. Unity is so important and this was definitely proved by everyone. Good job guys, keep it going. We rule!
--Renu
Dilip Babani says:
The picnic was not very nice because of the hot weather. But Pepsi and chhach were there to provide relief. Hope everybody drank enough Pepsi and chhach. I enjoyed the carrom board, table tennis, Housie and Sitaram's songs and bhajans. Nobody danced to Munnibai and Sheela ki Jawani. That was 100% missed by everybody. But Shekhawat-ji danced very nicely in the bus and that was great fun. We had a very good time drinking -- Bose, me and Shekhawat. It is true that the resort was very far and everybody became tired. Otherwise, the trip was nicely arranged, thanks to Shekhawat, Bose and Yusuf-bhai. For the next picnic, the place should be decided after some thought.
--Dilip

PIC OF THE WEEK: 21

Pray, what's going on?A full blast session of course, with everyone concentrating in the hope of winning something!
--Renu Babani

All Set To Go

Shekhawat is saddled with a problem of plenty. He had initially estimated a contingent of around 35 members for the picnic to Harshgiri on Sunday, i.e. tomorrow. Till yesterday, total confirmations marginally exceeded that number. This morning, following last-minute payments from members like Rehana Sheikh, Sushma Gupta, Dilip Babani and Harish Wadhwa, the number has suddenly swelled to an incredible 49 – with perhaps a few more (like Neelam Garg) to follow.
Now, this promises to be great fun. After all, the more the merrier... But on the flip side, it would be a cramped 52-seater bus that could make things difficult on the three-hour journey. Those on the rear seats will have to put up with a particularly hard ride as they would be the first to be tossed up on every road bump. How the seats are to be allotted, without displeasing anybody, should challenge Shekhawat’s organization skills.
The other contentious issue – that of providing light refreshments enroute -- has been resolved. Shekhawat clarified that as breakfast would be provided immediately on reaching the resort, it would make no sense incurring expenditure on this count during the journey. Members were also told to carry along their drinking water bottles.
Meanwhile, a mysterious Manasi has become the cause of much hilarity for the past two days. This morning also, Shekhawat brought up the name, as though we were already acquainted with her. “She will be coming home today at 11:30 a.m.,” he announced, thereby prompting Yusuf-bhai to take a dig: “Why your home? Why not any of our homes?” Turns out that this Manasi is a representative of Harshgiri Lake Resort, who would collect the advance money for the picnic from Shekhawat’s place today.
Dilip Babani says:
This picnic will be really nice because the weather is not-too-hot and everybody will be able to enjoy in the swimming pool and the rain dance. If possible, somebody should bring a big ball so that we can play catch-catch in the pool. Drinking gentlemen will drink whatever they want to. There will be a lot of enjoyment because Sitaram, Rane and the ladies will sing and dance. Hope Kishor-bhai will bring his camera and Bose, please do not forget your camera and keep the batteries fully charged (or bring the charger with you). Everybody should bring some farsaan or biscuits to eat in the bus. Carry a bottle of water also. Everybody should pack in the night itself so that nothing is missed. We all must enjoy the picnic!
--Dilip

Rites of Passage

Every member has a personal story on how he or she had joined the Club. More often than not, it had begun with curiosity – the sight of so many seemingly intelligent adults laughing their heads off without reason. To the uninitiated, this can be quite amusing. Soon amusement is replaced by interest. And once the decision is taken to try it out for a lark, you are either led to the Club by an existing member or, should you be bold enough, you would introduce yourself and start exercising the very next moment.
What happens thereafter differs from person to person. Some like Nafisa Sayed, Khatoon Baig and Sandhya Narang (above) have taken to the exercises like fish take to water and now, they are important constituents of the Club. Turning up every morning is not so much of a commitment with them; it is an addiction. But there are many who stray in and just cannot let go their basic inhibitions to laugh freely. Or else, they are incapable of keeping to the morning regimen religiously, day after day, for a variety of reasons. Either way, they would disappear in time. Angad Singh (above) is a prime example of these birds of passage.
Then there are those like Gulab Yadav (right) and Mohammad Nasir (below, left) who are neither here nor there. They have been regulars in the Garden for years and are familiar with everybody in the Club. Yet, such is their whimsical nature, they would choose when to walk in or walk out. Right now, they are with us – exercising diligently every morning without fail. But tomorrow one of them (or both) could present a different scenario. He would be seen hovering around us in the Garden, but refusing to participate in the exercises. And then, one fine morning, he could simply pop up again and join us. Allegiance to the Club means nothing to these free-spirited individuals.
Small wonder, Shekhawat-ji had to recently lay down some ground rules for membership to the Club. There would be no joining fees, but being regular in attendance for three months at a stretch shall be the criterion for inclusion in all other activities, such as picnics and parties. This assumes relevance as the next membership review is coming up at the end of this month. Some new entrants would be confirmed and a few old names dropped.

Renu Babani says:
Yes, talk about how people join the Club... Reminds me of when I returned to Mumbai in 2006 permanently. My husband was already a member and he told me let's go to the Garden and you can join too. Curiosity got the better of me and the next morning I got up to check it out. Initially I was not prepared -- when I saw the laughter session, followed by the routine exercise. I figured this is easy, so let me try it. It felt strange to laugh forcibly. But then, somehow I started to feel comfortable amongst everyone as all were so friendly and welcomed me warmly. So many names, how would I remember all of them? Today, going in the morning has become a habit. Seeing those smiling faces and being part of this family is so normal. I guess everyone just knew how to welcome any new member, making him/her feel a part of them. Thanks guys, considering I had made the decision to return to Mumbai permanently, you made it easier for me!
--Renu