Friday, February 28, 2014

Eternal Mysteries

Nutty treat from Monthi Serrao
Choco treat from Mumtaz Jahan
Two belated but well-timed treats. One, Monthi Serrao came with packets of dry coconut, chikki balls and salted cashew to mark her return from Mangalore on Februrary 25. And two, Mumtaz Jahan distributed Dubai’s famous bumble chocolates to celebrate her birthday that escaped us on February 14. She was in Kerala at that time.
So, for the few of us who turned up in the morning, it was a windfall of sorts, two times over. In fact, we were just about half-and-dozen for the best part of the exercises today.
Arun Patil conducts exercises in double-quick time
And with Arun Patil in the middle, everything was wrapped up in double-quick time.Only thereafter, did the late-comers start appearing one by one. But all the biggies and the regulars, including Srichand Arora, Nahid Khan, Santosh Tyagi, Shekhawat, Jagmohan Papneja, Razia Khan… were absent.
This raises one of the eternal mysteries of the Club. How do some people decide whether or not to come to the Garden every morning? Strangely, when they come, they ALL come, thus taking the head count to 25-plus. It would seem a deluge.
Jagmohan Papneja
And on a lean day, when attendance is in single digit, all key members would be found missing. Do they enter into a joint conspiracy from home, early morning, to boycott the exercises? Or is it some kind of ESP at work that brings them in droves one day and makes them all scarce the next? Nobody has an answer to this.
Yet another abiding mystery (on a lighter vein) is Jagmohan Papneja’s movements. He is among the earliest to arrive at the Garden every morning, does his brisk walk, paranayam, etc. and then all of a sudden, he disappears – literally into thin air. There would be no trace of him even as the laughter session begins. And then, like Hamlet’s ghost, he’d show up at the Gate and make his way slowly to the exercise circle with a bag in hand. It would seem as though this is another Jagmohan Papneja showing up for the morning. But then where did the earlier Papneja go? And if there are no two Papnejas, why does he show up so late after being in the Garden already? This happens every day without fail. Where does he vamoose in the interim? Nobody has a clue till date.
Get well soon, Jagmohan-ji!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Life at any time can become difficult. Life at any time can become easy. Good or bad, these are seasons on life. All depends on how you take life and adjust to its seasons.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Maha Shivaratri 2014

Today was not just Shivaratri, but 'Maha Shivaratri' – the big day that celebrates the very big night when Lord Shiva got married to (and re-married) Goddess Parvati. Some say he was also born on this day. Others maintain that he performed the cosmic dance on this day while many would insist that he saved the world from Armageddon by consuming a deadly poison (held in his throat without choking) on this particular day.
Arora collects their identity proof
Since no one can get any wiser by dwelling into all this, we just clapped and cried ‘Bum Bum Bhole’ to mark the occasion. Many looked heavenwards (by force of habit) hoping to derive some divine enlightenment and were duly disappointed – but for Monthi Serrao. Without asking for it, she was blessed by a generous shower of crow shit, aimed strategically at her turquoise kurta!
Arun wishes Tara Chand Bon Voyage
Even Khatoon Baig rejoiced upon seeing her getting so “lucky” on Shivaratri day.
Monthi was not in the best of moods though. Srichand Arora tried to provide some diversion by asking her to furnish proof of her identity – along with other members of the Club’s managing committee like Razia Khan and Harbans Kaur. Apparently, the Registrar of Societies does not believe that these people actually exist in flesh and blood and has demanded documentary evidence that they live in proper homes before he registers our Club. Arora dutifully went about collecting and verifying the papers.
Another diversion was provided by Tara Chand Seth as he bid goodbye to us before leaving on his first vacation to Kuala Lumpur (and possibly Singapore) tomorrow. We wished him a happy and safe journey. Since his flight is scheduled for early afternoon, he is unlikely to turn up at the Garden tomorrow morning.
Meanwhile, news comes in of Shekhawat’s cataract operation last Monday being a success. He however, needs to visit the eye surgeon every morning for follow-up medication, which is why he is currently out of circulation. He has cancelled his trip to Rajasthan this week-end on doctor’s advice.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Om Namah Shivaya! May Lord Shiva shower blessings on all and give power and strength to everyone facing difficulties in their lives.
Harish Wadhwa:
Get well soon, Shekhawat-ji!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

‘Most Wanted’

Razia Khan
No one in the club has meant so many things to so many people.
To Kiran Arora, he is a doting husband. To the younger members, most notably Kajal Babani, he is a benign fatherly figure -- much as he has assured them that he will bequeath nothing to their name. To Laxmi Hadimani, he is simply 'uncle'. Somewhere along the way, Geeta Sardhana appropriated him as her brother…
Srichand Arora
Indeed, he is one gentleman on whom the maximum number of members have exercised some kind of a proprietorial claim.
And so, it came as no surprise when Razia Khan announced this morning that she was adopting Srichand Arora as her son. “Main godh le rahi hoon,” she declared valiantly at the start of the exercises.
Nobody could figure out the provocation, but everybody felt sorry for Razia. “It is fine you are adopting him,” Tara Chand said at last, shaking his head in disbelief. “But don’t keep him on your lap for too long,” he cautioned her.
But Razia was ecstatic. She assured him that she will bring up Arora as a good, able-bodied and educated young man. “Bahut pyar se, paal-pos ke badi karoongi,” she told all her well-wishers. “Where there is a will there is a way!” she added.
Santosh Tyagi distributes prasad after a puja for her son
It did not take long for Arora to show his true colours. Midway through the exercises he saw a young, shapely woman on the walking track, wearing a dark green t-shirt. “I want that t-shirt,” he said, pointing at the woman. Before Razia could reply, Arun Patil promised to get it from the market today. “No, I want that t-shirt,” Arora insisted.
Irritated, Nahid Khan blurted out: “Utarwaa dein? You want her to take off that t-shirt?”
That did not sound like a good idea. Alarmed, Arora instantly shut up – obviously terrified at the prospect of losing his own shirt in the bargain. He remained silent till the end, when Santosh Tyagi cheered him up with prasad from a Hanuman puja. It was her thanksgiving for her son’s recovery from a surgery recently.
After the prasad, Arora was back to playing the jolly good fella!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Wacky Humour

Jagmohan Papneja regales the audience with his couplets 
Today, Jagmohan Papneja took a leaf out of Santosh Tyagi’s book. Immediately after the exercises, he gathered everyone around and delivered the day's ‘breakfast’. But it was more in the nature of poetry – couplets laced with dark humour that sought to draw clever parallels between a betrothal ceremony and the burial of a corpse!
Earlier on, during the exercises, the group had its share of laughter with members wondering why Shekhawat was absent for the second day. Jagmohan informed that it was because of the cataract operation (check ‘comments’ yesterday) when Nahid Khan butted in to announce, “Shekhawat had two eyes. Now he will come back with four.”
Many disputed the statement, saying that Shekhawat already wore spectacles – evidently reading glasses. “Well, in that case he had four eyes and now he will come back with eight,” Razia Khan concluded.
Bapu's three monkeys: Figure them out!
As the conversation drifted to Shekhawat paying the price for first, “giving his dil away” and then, for “aankh lad gayi kisi se”, Khatoon Baig inquired if there was any news of Arora. Like Shekhawat, he too had gone missing for two days. “His ears are out of order,” declared Nahid. “He must have gone to show his ears.” Does he wear a hearing aid?” asked Harbans Kaur.
The exercises wore on while discussions veered around Arora’s hearing disability. Before long, attention shifted to Ramila Mistry, the third notable absentee of the day. “Her mouth is shut,” said Geeta Sardhana. “She is on maun vrat for three days, till Shivaratri!”
Nahid got her chance: “Buss, one person’s eyes have gone. Another’s ears have gone. And a third’s speech has gone. Nothing more needs to be said!”
She did not utter the m-word even once. But the obvious analogy did not escape anybody. That all three were absent from the exercises today was no small coincidence.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Our friends Arora-ji, Shekhawat-ji and Ramila are indisposed and facing hearing, seeing and speaking problems respectively. In spite of these handicaps, if they go for any deal together pertaining to the Club, they will bargain successfully. Nothing is impossible for them!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Slow and Shaky

Santosh Tyagi regales her fans with 'breakfast jokes'
As usual, a slow and shaky start to a new week. Most members kept away. The few who turned up were almost entirely late for the exercises. Many complained of the weather -- of feeling low because of the "change in season". Some were held up because their family members were under the weather.
Santosh Tyagi, on her part, cheerfully enlivened the proceedings, first by teasing Ramila Mistry for being absent-minded and then addressing her as "Kokila-ben" -- the name Shekhawat has given her. Ramila is suffering from a painful knee-joint problem (presumably arthritis) which prevents her from standing for too long. And then, after the exercises, Santosh regaled us by cracking a few of her patented "breakfast jokes". That was when some life could be infused in an otherwise dull and lethargic group.
At times like these, we pause to wonder about some old friends who seem to have somehow fallen off the edges. Sandhya Narang is one. She used to show up occasionally (enroute the yoga session) but now, has stopped coming to the Garden. Najma Sayyad is another. We are told that she is quite unwell and unable to even stand up because of body weight issues. Hari Naraiyani is another. He came for a few days (soon after his wife passed away two months back) escorted by his son, but now neither is to be seen. Prakash Motwani is yet another…
Much as Santosh Tyagi would put their absence to "medical leave", let us hope and pray that they are all doing fine for themselves and shall join us soon.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Best wishes to Shekhawat-ji on his cataract surgery. Soon we will see him back in action.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Day 1211

Pic of the Week
KERALA TOUR (10-17 Feb, 2014): On the boat in Coconut Country
Bhaswati Bose:
Moochhon ko jara round ghooma ke / Coconut mein lassi mila ke / Aa gaye Kerala se sare mood banake...

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Sudden Exodus

Hari Singh Shekhawat
Teja Singh Bhambra
Tara Chand Seth
It isn’t vacation time yet. Schools and colleges are in peak session, ahead of the annual exams. This isn’t the wedding season either. Nor are there major festivals round the corner. So why is there a sudden exodus from the Club at this time of the year?
Nahid Khan
Shekhawat of course, has a wedding to attend at his native place in Rajasthan on March 3. But before that, he shall have his cataract operation done. His rail reservations were made three months back, but now he is in two minds whether to go by train or fly. But go he must, he says.
Sardar Teja Singh Bhambra too has some personal commitments to attend in his home town, Faridabad. He says he has property there (currently put on rent) and that makes it necessary for him to pay periodic visits. So he has booked his tickets for March 2.
"My picnic pics are better than yours!!!"
Tara Chand Seth’s tickets to Kuala Lumpur have also come in. He would be making the trip with his brother on February 28 and spend 12 days in the Malaysian capital where his grand-niece has an apartment. He has plans for a cruise to Singapore as well, after which he would fly straight to Delhi (where he has another home) instead of returning to Mumbai.
And then there is Nahid Khan packing her bags for Lucknow. That’s where her maike is and she owes her family there a visit once a year. Her tickets are booked for March 7 and she is expected back on March 16. In fact, of the four, she will be taking the shortest break.
Meanwhile, on popular demand, Bhaswati Bose brought her laptop this morning to present a slide-show of the pictures taken on the Chhota Kashmir picnic last week-end. We are awaiting the photos clicked on the Kerala tour for mounting another slideshow on this blog.
Jagmohan Papneja:
I too will be away from 6th to 10th March to attend the golden anniversary of my elder sister's wedding in Delhi. Hope everyone will have a good break and a great time away from Mumbai.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Healing Touch

Yusuf Rassiwala makes light of the Kerala 'adventure'
After Shekhawat’s fiery outburst yesterday (see post), Yusuf Rassiwala appeared this morning to apply the proverbial healing balm. He cheerfully dismissed all suggestions of any problem during the just-concluded Kerala trip and insisted, “We had a lot of fun”. In what appeared as a deliberate cover-up, he denied that anybody in the 40-member group was put to any distress and maintained that “everybody enjoyed a lot”.
Understandably, Yusuf was trying to ensure that no dirty linen is washed in public. “It is no joke managing a group of 40 people on such a long excursion,” he explained. “All were senior citizens. Some were weak and infirm.
Mumtaz and Jagmohan confabulate
We ought to thank our stars that there was no casualty or untoward incident and everybody could return home safe and sound. Had even one person met with an accident, the vacation of the entire group would have been ruined.”
Yusuf also had a kind word for the tour operator who “did not abandon us midway” through the trip. But he had no answer for the incidents of wanton indiscipline, unruly behaviour, petty thieving, shoplifting and the free-for-all some people in the group (mostly non-members) indulged in. “We must be careful not to take along such a big group in future,” he said evasively. “But on the whole, it was a great adventure. We all enjoyed a lot!”
Yusuf had obviously been following the blog and was aware of the parallel picnic organized locally (see post of February 15) during his absence. “I am sure you people also enjoyed a lot at Chhota Kashmir,” he chirped. He was also aware of Shekhawat’s emotional showdown at the Garden yesterday. So in his own way, he felt the need for some damage control and smoothen a few ruffled feathers.
Jagmohan Papneja invited Yusuf for the Mushaira Evening he is organising at the Garden today from 6:00 pm onwards and informed that many 'celebrities', including Mumtaz Jahan’s actor son would be attending. Mumtaz and Jagmohan got into a huddle soon after the exercises to finalise the programming.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Yusuf-bhai did not miss the opportunity to make Shekhawat-ji happy by his kind words. Those words were more healing to a drooping heart than any balm.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Trouble in Paradise

Shekhawat vents his pent-up anger
Special treat of Punjabi sweets by Jagmohan Papneja
The 'Kerala cat' has finally jumped out of the bag. All pretences of having “enjoyed a lot” was blown asunder when Hari Singh Shekhawat turned up this morning and lambasted all and sundry in the group for their thoroughly anarchic, irresponsible and disgraceful behavior during the seven-day conducted tour. He spared no one – except Srichand Arora. Clearly, he was Shekhawat’s sole confidante while trouble brewed in 'God’s own country'.
Speaking more out of pain than anger, Shekhawat said that never before had he felt so helpless and betrayed by people he trusted. “Nobody told me to carry Rs100,000 of my own cash, lest there be an unforeseen crisis or medical emergency,” he informed. “I did it for you because I was responsible for you. People had joined the trip because of their faith in me. How was I to know that there was all along a conspiracy to sabotage the trip from the very start?”
Giving details of the fiasco, Shekhawat mentioned names (mostly non-members) who have “brought disrepute” to the Club. And then, there were issues of mismanagement by the tour operator. On top, there were problems over which no one had any control -- like the vehicle suddenly breaking down near Periyar. In effect, the group was more caught in their own problems than being able to enjoy any sight-seeing.
Nobody had seen Shekhawat so agitated since his heart surgery last year. But this was necessary because he could today release all his bitterness bottled up for days. The trip was also a learning experience for all – never again to take a big, unmanageable group along. “Just forget about any picnic in future,” Shekhawat said striding out of the Gate in apparent disgust.
On a bright note, Jagmohan Papneja extended an open invitation to a Mushaira Evening in the Garden tomorrow. The event is to mark the 10th anniversary of a cultural group that gathers in the China Hut every Friday evening. He also treated us to ‘special Punjabi sweets’ he had just picked up on a trip to Chandigarh.
Jagmohan Papneja:
One thing is clear that Shekhawat-ji has learnt that the right way to make future trips, if any, is not to surround himself with the people of irrational behavior.
Srichand Arora:
Where are the photos of our Kerala trip?
Big Laaf: We desperately need pictures suggestive of Kerala -- the group having been there, done that -- not indoor shots. Anybody having clicked such photos, please e-mail to biglaaf@gmail.com

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Normalcy Returns

Revdis from Col Johar
With the return of the second and final batch from Kerala (see yesterday’s post), we were back to our normal strength at the Garden. Arun Patil, Khatoon Baig, Mumtaz Jahan and several others reported for the exercises today, taking the attendance to a healthy 20-plus. Everybody dutifully mouthed the same lines, “We enjoyed a lot”. And with the music box playing on once again in the middle, it was business as usual.
An old friend, Col Jaswinder Johar (a retired army man based in Meerut) dropped by with a box of fresh, crunchy revdis. He has developed a special fascination for our Club and makes sure to visit us every time he is in Mumbai. The best part is that he is more regular than most of us are for the exercises -- even as it means traveling all the way from Juhu to keep his appointment at the Garden every morning.
Arora displays photos of the Kerala trip on his tablet 
One man was however, conspicuous by his absence. Hari Singh Shekhawat had returned the day-before from Kerala and yesterday morning, he was away at the military hospital in Colaba for his eye checkup. He was turned back because his appointment was for today. (He needs to get his cataract operation done.) So this morning, without showing his face at the Garden, he rushed to Colaba once again to see the eye doctor. Once he gets back to his regular routine, the ‘official’ story on Kerala will unfold. For Shekhawat does not know how to withhold information.
Meanwhile, we had to make do with a visual presentation Srichand Arora made on his tablet computer. Beautiful as those images were, the pictures clicked were almost entirely indoor shots (of the houseboat, dining room, etc.) suggesting nothing about Kerala. We will have to wait for photographs of the various scenic spots in Kochi, Aleppey, Kumarakom, Periyar and Munnar the group had visited. Till those pictures come in, a slideshow cannot be mounted.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Biggies are Back

Srichand Arora
The biggies are back from a whirlwind tour of coastal Kerala. Srichand Arora, Hari Singh Shekhawat, Yusuf Rassiwala and eight others arrived last evening, having taken a flight from Kochi. The others in the 40-member group boarded the train and should be arriving in Mumbai by this evening.
Looking a little toned-down and tanned, Arora registered his return with the announcement, “We all enjoyed a lot!”
Kiran Makharia
Kiran Makharia too appeared frazzled from the week-long vacation, yet maintained, “We had great fun!” Only when Dilip Babani asked Arora whether he had tried Kerala’s famous oil massage, did the cat come (partially) out of the bag. “When there were 40 people to massage me day and night, why should I need any other massage?”
Everybody knew where it was coming from. Blow-by-blow accounts of whatever transpired in Kerala had been trickling into Mumbai the whole of last week; but out of politeness nobody mentioned anything. Just once, Nafeesa Sayyad dropped a hint before the Lion and Lioness Laughter round. “Now that he has survived so many shers and shernis and come back alive, let him growl here happily,” she urged, pointing at Arora.
“The next tour would be of Darjeeling,” Dilip said encouragingly.
Nobody responded. That itself was saying a lot!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Second Winter

Recounting happy moments from Saturday
Sunita Jajodia wore the club cap for the first time today. She had not felt the need to cover her head earlier, even when it was peak winter a few weeks back. Now, with what is being attributed to “upper air cyclonic circulation”, we are in the midst of unseasonal rainfall and literally, a second spell of winter. It was so cold this morning that many, including Sardar Teja Singh did not turn up. The Garden looked almost deserted. Those who came were wrapped in woolens. Even then, the exposed parts of the body were numb in the freezing cold. One brave young man in skin-tight T-shirt and with his navel exposed, exercised solo a short distance, blissfully unaware that his pajama was slowly slipping down his huge paunch. Suddenly, he was left posing gloriously in his blue V-front underwear, arms raised in a yogic posture and pajamas neatly bunched at his feet!
None of this bothered us though. Meeting after the Saturday picnic (see post), there was enough warmth generated in recounting how Santosh Tyagi had danced for the first time, the songs Ved Prakash Grover sang with the others, some of the home-made food we shared, the joy of boating together in the afternoon rain… all the while wondering if we would ever again get to enjoy so much. Everyone agreed we should organise one such outing every second-Saturday of the month. Dilip Babani said he’d do a recce of the Hanging Garden, Byculla Zoo and Botanical Garden before deciding on the destination for our next picnic.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Day 1204

Pics of the Week


Some more memorable vignettes from yesterday's 'Chhota Kashmir' picnic

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Picnic at Mini Kashmir

Shortly after 9:00 a.m. today, the autorickshaw brigade spluttered to a start from the Garden gate with Dilip ‘Kejriwal’ Babani (see previous posts) at the head.
Cooling their heels on arrival
He led us in single file to the ‘promised land’-- somewhere beyond the highway in the wilderness of Aarey Colony in Goregaon East – for what was to be the most innovative, enjoyable and low-cost excursion ever organised by the Club.
Chhota Kashmir was a picnic spot waiting to be discovered. With its well-manicured lawns and flower beds, cobbled pathways, an artificial lake for boating and giant cactus and palm trees lining the outer fringes, this was ‘paradise on earth’ for us city dwellers. The heavens also smiled upon us, occasionally showering us with light drizzle and the sun played hide-and seek behind the clouds for the best part.
Boating in the rain
Against this setting, the 18-member 'aam aadmi' group was completely in its elements –
Santosh gamely does a foxtrot
the ladies breaking into antakshari from the very start, soon to be followed by impromptu jigs, a round of Housie, word rhyming, lungi dance, a game of throw ball… and of course, pedal boating in the rain.
Nobody had ever seen Santosh Tyagi doing a foxtrot before (with Bhaswati Bose) while Razia Khan and Geeta Sardhana performed a garba number for the time we took shelter in a wooden hut while it rained outside.
'Kejriwal' speaks to reporters
There was never a dull moment.
Dilip was made up as Kejriwal (replete with cap and muffler) and posed for a photo op with Razia ‘Birla’ Khan and Tara ‘Yogendra ’ Chand. The group even addressed a mock press conference with Dilip hilariously promising ‘sab kuchh’ to everybody free of any charge – water, electricity, food…
Many had brought food from home and after sharing with the rest, there were always supplements such as tea and cold drinks, cheese sandwiches, masala dosa and pao bhaji on order from a nearby eatery. Everybody, for once, went dutch – to the last rupee. And the initial Rs 100 collected from each, was duly returned.
In the end, everybody went home a happier person. For the amount spent individually, what we took back was priceless – a memory to be cherished for a lifetime – all thanks to Dilip, Tara Chand and Razia who made this 'aam aadmi' magic happen.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Wet V-Day

The Club presents a rose jointly to Santosh Tyagi and Tara Chand
It rained today. Many were caught unawares by the unseasonal shower early morning and came equipped with umbrellas and wrapped up in woolens. The temperature however, did not drop because of the heavy cloud cover. In fact, it was warmer today than the past two days when the biting chill and gusty winds had made everybody irritable to the bones.
Lifting our spirits this morning was the Valentine’s Day celebration, initiated by Dilip Babani with a round of candies and lozenges. He had thoughtfully brought his collection of romantic songs (suited to the occasion) on a USB drive and with sing-alongs and silent claps during the exercises, everybody had quite forgotten about the dark skies and morning rain.
Razia 'Birla' and Dilip 'Kejriwal'
A rose for Ved Prakash Grover
In a telling departure from the past, we had decided to celebrate Valentine's Day by demonstrating our love and respect towards the elders of the Club; and as a symbolic gesture, a rose was presented jointly to the two senior-most members, Santosh Tyagi and Tara Chand Seth.
Taking the cue, Geeta Sardana comically curtsied in front of Ved Prakash Grover and presented the same rose to him.
A rose for Teja Singh Bhambra
Sitaram Hivarkar came next. And then, finally, it was the turn of Sardar Teja Singh with Razia Khan doing the honours.
It was all very spontaneous and heartwarming – the odd part being that every time, it was usually a lady presenting the rose to a male as a mark of respect. Barring Santosh Tyagi, none of the ladies present felt any need for the 'respect' as that would (possibly) amount to an admission of seniority. And ladies don’t age.
Before long, the busybodies for tomorrow’s Chhota Kashmir picnic got cracking as they fine-tuned all logistical details as well as the requirements of food and recreation. Somehow, the ‘aam aadmi’ tag has become a big hit – such that Dilip has become ‘Arvind Kejriwal’ for the picnic. Bose has been named ‘Manish Sisodia’ and Razia is happy being called ‘Rakhi Birla’. And Tara Chand, who had set the ball rolling, is our ‘Yogendra Yadav’!

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Aam Aadmi Picnic

Picnic planning
Jagmohan Papneja made an apt comment yesterday: "Hum Kisise Kam Nahi". We are less to none – the obvious reference being our friends currently traversing the backwaters of Kerala. Whereas they had paid anything between Rs10,000 and Rs15,000 per head, we are collecting Rs100 only from each member going on the Chhota Kashmir picnic this Saturday (see yesterday's post). Whereas they had been talking about air travel and train bookings, staying in star hotels and houseboat rides, we are planning simple autorickshaw rides. What remains now for us is to pick up some brooms (instead of fancy strolleys and suitcases) and march out in full strength.
Of course, the comparisons are specious – where a seven-day outstation trip and a one-day local picnic are concerned. But it is still a question of affordability. So today, when Dilip Babani proposed collecting Rs250 from every member to cover food and travel expenses, everyone agreed immediately. Later, this was a trimmed down to Rs100 as a nominal participation charge for snacks and refreshments while the lunch would largely be home-made and pot luck. The rest of the expenses, such as paddle boat rides would be individual and optional.
The idea is not to enforce anything on anyone, enjoy each other’s company and should there still be any cash left, we might donate it to the Club. Pity Papneja cannot be part of this ‘poor man’s picnic’. He has to leave for Chandigarh this evening for a family function.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Chhota Kashmir is the only place for Mumbai citizens to enjoy boating. Boating timings are from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Hope you all will not regret visiting this location. But I will miss everyone. Have a great picnic. Wish you all the best.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Grudge Picnic?

Everybody is ready for the Saturday picnic
If ‘they’ can go for seven days, why can’t we go for one day?
Coming from Tara Chand, this sounded suspiciously like cocking a snook at Arora, Shekhawat and the others currently holidaying in Kerala. “It doesn’t matter where we go,” he insisted. “There’s no need for any planning either. Let’s just take off, the way we did for Lonavala last time. That was one picnic from which we derived a lot of lutf. Let’s go this Saturday itself.”
The suggestion met with instant approval as almost all hands went up, ready to join. Everyone agreed that the nippy weather was just ideal for a day-long outing and that there was no need to draw a big crowd by including non-members. “We should restrict ourselves to members only and even if we are a handful, we shall go this Saturday,” said Razia Khan.
“Even if there are just five or six of us, we must surely go,” reiterated Dilip Babani.
But where do we go?
Suggestions flew thick and fast before opinions were divided between Madh Island and Manori Beach. Names of some resorts in the city outskirts were also mentioned, but many were reluctant to go any place they had been to earlier. Then Bihari Milwani suggested Chhota Kashmir – a picturesque parkland with a lake, tucked away somewhere in Aarey Milk Colony. So that was that. Barring Nafisa Sayyad, none of us had ever been there before.
The menu for the day was drawn up. Apart from bottled water and refreshments, packed biryani is being organized. Collections would start the day-after (Thursday) after the number of participants is ascertained. The idea is to take off from the Garden itself after the exercises and if a bus cannot be hired at such short notice, we will all pile into auto-rickshaws and our cavalcade would reach Chhota Kashmir in style before breakfast. Dilip has offered to check the logistics.
Meanwhile, the ‘ladies-who-movie’ have revived their afternoon rendezvous with Hasee Toh Phasee, a romcom starring Siddarth Malhotra and Parineeti Chopra. Santosh Tyagi, Sunita Jajodia, Geeta Sardhana and Bhaswati Bose, among others, have confirmed being there for the 2’o clock show at Cinemax today.
Jagmohan Papneja:
'Auto se picnic chale' is a good proposal. Enough ideas already exist but I would favour Chhota Kashmir. It is the perfect "picnic spot" and an enjoyable place to relax. After the picnic you can say: 'Hum kisi se kam nahi'!!!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Time Hangs Heavy

Barely a dozen showed up today
The peculiar thing about the daily turnout is that with less people, our exercises tend to take longer. When more people turn up, time just flies by. And so, with almost all the regulars now away to Kerala, the same set of exercises that used to be wrapped up in less than an hour, today seemed to go on and on... and on endlessly. Time simply hung heavily on us.
Not that we did not have our bright moments. With Razia Khan in the middle, Jagmohan Papneja was repeatedly prodded to assume the role of a prompter. He sounded totally out of character when made to mouth “Kissa Kursi Ka, Doosra Padav”, “Nach Baliye, Teesra Padav”, “Shekhawat Ready?!?” And there we had Geeta Sardhana wanting a ‘running commentary’ on how far the train to Kerala had reached, till Srichand Arora suddenly called long-distance from the Netravati Express to inform that he had no clue where he was, but there were still two hours to go before reaching Mangalore.
Harish Wadhwa (file photo)
Soon Shekhawat's voice piped up to inform that everyone was having a gala time "with a lot of lungi wallahs" in the train!
In all this, there is a spot of bad news we have been withholding. Last Friday, our friend Harish Wadhwa met with an accident in his hotel room at Ranchi. He slipped in the bathroom and fractured his collar bone. It has split into two. He was brought all trussed up to Mumbai on Saturday evening, but could be attended to only yesterday at Kokilaben Hospital. After an excruciatingly painful procedure, the bones have been set in place – but both his arms are tied up now by a sling and he is still in agony. Let alone pick up the phone, the simple act of sitting upright in bed is traumatic in his present state.
While our hearts are with him and we all wish him speedy recovery, this is to request all not, rpt NOT to make courtesy visits or calls which might require Harish to exert himself. He has specifically asked this of us. At the Garden today, Papneja enjoined us to raise a silent prayer for his quick relief and recuperation.
Srichand Arora:
Harish, my dear, we all are worried about your health. Take care properly and we all are there for you in case needed. See you soon. God bless you. (February 8, 2014 at 2:47 PM)
Renu Babani:
God speed, Mr Harish. With everyone's prayers and moral support here's wishing you a speedy recovery.
Jagmohan Papneja:
It is noted that the specialist (doctor) has carried out the required procedure on Harish-ji for surgical realignment of collar bones and reset them to heal. Our prayers are sure to put Harish-ji back in action very soon. God bless.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Kerala Poyi


KERALA BOUND: Ready to board the bus
Finally, the day had arrived. After weeks and months of meticulous planning, mounting excitement and many hiccups, Shekhawat and his brave gang of 40 took off this morning on their seven-day trip of Kerala. A specially-hired bus picked them from the Garden at 9:00 a.m. and deposited them at Lokmanya Tilak Terminus (LTT) in time for the Netravati Express departing at 11:40 a.m. for Ernakulam.
Earlier, during the exercises, instead of the routine “Very Good-Very Good” (and its many variations) we wished the group “Happy Journey-Happy Journey” for a change. Also, today being Santosh Tyagi’s birthday, we raised an extra laugh and clapped and sang in her honour after the exercises. But clearly, the focus of the morning was on the Kerala group and their peculiar kinks like making repeated head counts, seeking last-minute confirmations on train tickets and so on.
Getting into the bus
Santosh Tyagi
Tara Chand Seth, in a quiet but significant gesture, handed over a packet of lozenges and toffees to the group – just in case. Shekhawat looked hale and hearty, after that major scare last Saturday (see post). Everyone had been instructed not to hassle this man during the tour as he is yet to recover from his heart surgery barely six months back. Srichand Arora and Arun Patil helpfully offered to chip in. But Shekhawat isn’t one to easily delegate. In spite of all warnings and precautions, he eagerly attended to the most stupid demands and tantrums of two ladies for whom no amount of assurances would ever suffice.
Otherwise, the Garden gate wore the look of a colorful carnival as group members turned up in their holiday best with their strolleys and relatives in tow.
Arora signals, 'All set!'
Endless cups of tea made the rounds amid much cheering and jeering. Even people not connected to the Club came out of the garden and gathered around the bus to see off the group. Funnily enough, many actually thought that the bus would be taking the 40 members all the way to Kerala and back and even fell sorry for them!
Post Script: The bus had just about pulled out when a piece of paper flew out from a window. On it, scribbled in Hindi, was a list of 28 items:
"Ta-Ta, Bye Bye!"
Odomos, brush, shaving set, towel and muffler, underwear, identity card, mobile charger, pajama, liquor permit, knickers, bathroom slippers, medicines, water bottle… Guess whose check-list this could have been!
Jagmohan Papneja:
* Best wishes for a safe, happy and healthy journey to the 40 geniuses who have set off to Kerala. GOOD LUCK! Hope you all have an amazing time and come back with great memories. I am looking forward to hearing the stories of the wonderful journey.
* The check list mentioning 28 items including a liquor permit... My guess is that it belongs to none other than 'Military Man' Shekhawat-ji.