Hustle-Bustle

The Club’s busybodies got busier than ever. For once, the exercises were given the short shrift this morning while Hari Singh Shekhawat, Srichand Arora, Jagmohan Papneja, Arun Patil and others got running helter-skelter, making frantic phone calls, ambushing people on the walking track, comparing notes (pic below)... Even Santosh Tyagi was called from home. The air was buzzing with funny words like PAN card, advance booking, bank transfer, mobile number…
With less than 24 hours to go before helicopter bookings to Vaishno Devi open for April 1 (see February 26 post), a sense of urgency has seized all those going on the pilgrimage. Nobody wants to miss the eight-minute hop to the shrine. The problem is getting around a lousy ‘official’ website put up by the shrine board on which online bookings have to be made. Last night, Harish Wadhwa gave up after failing to get a registration (a pre-requisite for booking) till as late as 9.00 p.m. Bose Babu got to register by fluke at 10:30 p.m. after more than a dozen aborted attempts. Arora was the only one to be holding a registration till then.
Given this uncertainty and that the helicopter tickets are supposed to run out within three minutes once the booking lines open at midnight, it was decided to take no further chances with the Net and instead, engage the services of an agent for all our 16 tickets – even as it would mean having to pay Rs1,100 extra for a Rs1,400 ticket! Now, this joker sitting in Delhi, who thrives on the gullibility of the religious-minded, wants not only the full cash in his bank by the evening today but also the identity and address proof of every passenger. After that, how he produces the tickets from thin air is his business. Hence all the maddening hustle and bustle this morning.

Crackling Wit

He skipped coming to the Garden yesterday. So today he made up by displaying his skipping skills. He snatched a skipping rope from a startled girl and started skipping and skipping… and skipping, till he ran out of breath. For his age and size, it was an amazing sight (left pic)!
But Srichand Arora was in a playful mood. Indeed, the entire morning belonged to him. Seeing his wayward ways, Razia Khan (below, right) ordered him to stand in the middle and conduct the exercises. Still breathless, he protested, but to no avail. “Just watch out,” he threatened. “See me outside the Gate!”
“When?” she asked eagerly.
“Evening,” said Arora, hoping she would take the bait. But Razia ignored him. “Aap ne poocha nahin ‘kahaan’?” Arora persisted.
Pat came her reply: “Wahin jahaan koi aata-jaata nahin!”
Razia was not the only one to take on Arora. Teja Singh was having difficulty with some of the exercises as he had fractured his right arm. Predictably, Arora pulled him up. “Next time you better be careful before getting into a scuffle,” he rebuked the mild-mannered sardar. “You are not in the age to go around beating up people.”
Instantly Tara Chand (below left) retorted from the side: “We are actually in the age of getting beaten up by people!”
Still, Arora was unstoppable. He promised Shekhawat three Mumtaz Mahals to be entombed in the "Taj Mahal still being built" in his bathroom (see post of February 19). He also conceded to his wife being dropped from Club membership for of lack of attendance -- but on condition that a "suitable substitute" be provided to him!
The best was yet to come though.
While the ladies went about charging one another of being ‘suspects’ in the Pehchaan Kaun post of last Sunday, Arora sat like a Buddha, fully composed, studying the photograph intently on his iPhone. Abruptly he switched off and stood up.
“This is nothing but a conspiracy to get me bashed up,” he declared with finality. “I am supposed to ask a woman, ‘How many children you have?’ My second question would be, ‘Are you married?’ What do you expect? Even before I ask the third question, joooootey padenge!!!”
Bhaswati Bose:
Here's another gem from Mr Arora: He advised me today not to lift anything heavy till I am completely cured. "After that, you may even lift Mr Bose!" he said.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Bhaswati-ji, spare our friend Bose-babu. We don't want the building floor to collapse due to a sudden thud (LOL)!!!
* Whom are you wanting to trap, Arora-ji? Even if it is just skipping with a rope, I want you to show mercy on the already pothole-ridden Mumbai roads! Sorry Sir-ji, it is in the interest of one and all.

Chopper Ride

A principal attraction to the Himachal Tour next month is the helicopter ride from Katra to the Vaishno Devi shrine. It is supposed to cut a steep seven-hour climb (of 13-odd kms) to just eight minutes. More than that, there is a novelty attached to this trip. Barring one or two members, nobody in the group has ever traveled in a chopper.
The plans have now run into rough weather. Bookings are required to be made online through the official site of the Shrine Board, which operates the Pawan Hans chopper service. The whole of this morning the site was inoperative. Inquiries with private operators revealed limited availability of seats – and at fares ranging from Rs2,500 to Rs5,100 per head.
In comparison, Pawan Hans charges a subsidized Rs1,400 (subject to five bookings per registration) but has no control over the services. “We simply supply the helicopters,” said Kishore Advani, a senior Pawan Hans official when contacted. “We have even stopped taking bookings in Mumbai since two years back. Everything is under the control of the Shrine Board.”
Now this puts us in a fix. Advani has offered to use his offices to “organize three or four tickets at the most”, but that is hardly enough. Jagmohan Papneja has also offered to use his contacts with a tour operator. And then, there is always the possibility of a miracle happening with the Shrine Board website. But whether all the 15 bookings can be made en bloc remains to be seen.
Meanwhile, the Pehchaan Kaun guessing game (yesterday’s post) is gathering momentum (lead pic) with members letting their imagination run wild. So far seven have submitted their replies, but these are deliberately being withheld lest others get influenced. Suffice to say only two of the seven have been able to correctly identify the person in the photograph.
Today also happened to be the last day of Mr Johar (left pic) with us -- before he takes the Frontier Mail back home in Meerut this evening. We wish him well and look forward to seeing him again in the Garden, soon.

An Explanation

An explanation is in order. Many members today wanted to know why the rules of the game had been changed for thelatest edition of the Pehchaan Kaun contest announced yesterday (see post). Some opined that the practice of drawing of lots was good enough for deciding the winner while others argued that the original method of selecting the first correct entry was quite fair -- rather than getting into a lottery or supplementary quiz.
It had to be explained that with time, as we get to know one another better, we should be able to look beyond a picture and answer the three accompanying questions to establish the level of bonding we share as members of the Club. Moreover, the practice of lottery left a lot to chance while picking the first all-correct entry presumed that every one of us had equal access to a PC. Besides, getting to identify the winner beforehand would facilitate getting his/ her name engraved on the crystal glass trophy in time for its presentation.
By and large everyone appreciated the logic that ensures a level playing field – just that Ved Prakash Grover (right) had a minor grouse. A past winner, he wanted some more clues to be provided against yesterday’s photograph. And Sitaram Hivarkar (left) said that he found it embarrassing to be asking a lady how many children she had. Shekhawat was simply waiting for this moment. On the pretext of demonstrating how easy it was to ask, he went about popping the question, parrot-like at every lady, “Aapke kitne bachche hain?” “Aapke kitne bachche hai?” amid rousing laughter. Ultimately, it was agreed that in the absence of an all-correct entry, a close-to-correct set of answers should suffice. In other words, the prize will not go abegging.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Wonder, why no one has responded so far to such an easy guess. I know the difficulty is in getting the other three answers. How to ask an yesteryear heroine? She is more beautiful than many of them and it shows in this black & white picture. By the way, her telephone numbers are all incorrect. So you can't even reach her!
* Santosh-ji is speaking something hilarious, as it appears from the pic. She is getting the other women in splits. Can you read the lips to guess the words in progress?
Jagmohan Papneja:
Pehchaan Kaun has become an interesting contest. It requires extra effort to arrive at satisfactory answers. Shekhawat-ji seems to be serious enough to win the contest as he has already started gathering information. His chances look bright. However, if the correct answer is not received, I wonder if there is any chance of extending the date.

Day 927

Pehchaan Kaun 7

Of course, you RECOGNISE her!

Now show how well you KNOW this member by also answering three simple questions:

* How many children does she have now?

* What was her age when this photograph was taken?

* Was she married then?

You have 10 days, beginning today, to reply. A tall, beautiful crystal trophy awaits the first to come up with the all-correct entry. Your time begins now.

Results will be declared in the Garden on March 7, 2013.

Replies received in sequence...

Dilip Babani
“MONTHI SERRAO: no children / 17 years / not married”

Harish Wadhwa
“SANDHYA NARANG: 2 children / 21 years / married”

Renu Babani
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children"

Razia Khan
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 22 years / not married”

Santosh Tyagi
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 25 – 30 years / married”

Arun Patil
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 18 years / unmarried”

Srichand Arora
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 22 years/ unmarried”

Hari Singh Shekhawat
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 25 years / married”

Monthi Serrao
“KIRAN ARORA: 3 children / 22 – 23 years / married”

Geeta Sardhana
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 20 years / not married”

Bhaswati Bose
“KIRAN SAJJAN: 3 children / 16 years / not married”

Kiran Sajjan*
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 22 years/ not married”

Jagmohan Papneja*
“KIRAN ARORA: 3 children / 22 years / not married”

Khatoon Baig*
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 25 years / married”

Ved Prakash Grover*

Monthi Serrao --as she is today

“SUNITA JAJODIA: 2 children / 20 years / married”

Tara Chand Seth*
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 22 years / not married”

Nahid Khan*
“KIRAN ARORA: 3 children / 22 years / not married”

Kiran Arora
“MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 21 years / not married”

Sunita Jajodia
"MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 25 years"

Harbans Kaur
"MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 19 years / not married"

Nafisa Sayyad*
"MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 22 - 25 years / not married"

Ramila Mistry
"MONTHI SERRAO: 3 children / 16 years / not married"

*verbal replies

She is indeed MONTHI SERRAO!
FOR FURTHER DETAILS FLIP TO POST OF MARCH 7, 2013

Free Tea

Trust our luck – we get nothing to eat, nobody treats us and we slog it out for nearly an hour on a cold, breezy morning… and then we are rewarded by piping hot chai before we leave. What could be any better than that? More so, when it is all for free and we can have as many cups as we want and no questions asked!
A new company did a product launch of non-caloric, sugar-free sweeteners this morning by offering elaichi-flavored tea for diabetics at the Garden gate. “One sachet good enough for four cups of tea,” chanted the white T-shirted boys and girls at the counter. “But you need to be a diabetic!”
Nobody listened. We all became diabetics for the sake of the free tea – though one vigilant young man pointed at a vinyl poster of a grinning M.S.Dhoni strung up behind the tea counter. “If that guy can have it, we too will have it!”
It was a refreshing culmination to the exercises, dominated by discussions on television soaps. As it turned out, Shekhawat proved to be a know-all while he deftly fielded questions on different plot lines, the nuances of characterisation, who would be the next to pop off and so on. Nafisa Sayed was amazed at Shekhawat’s infinite depth of knowledge. “This man watches more TV than women do,” she concluded, stating the obvious.
Jagmohan Papneja:
The American Diabetes Association have given a cautious nod to the use of artificial sweeteners in place of sugar to combat obesity and diabetes.

Comeback ‘Kids’

With spring setting in, the Garden has turned brighter and more colorful. The mornings are pleasant – the sun rising in time, the dull and drab woolens fast disappearing and everyone looks cheerful. Those who were irregular have started turning up for the exercises every day. Those who were away during the winter months are also returning now.
Tara Chand Seth had already registered his ‘comeback’ earlier this week (see post of February 18), but it was today that he made a small celebration of it. He had brought along a box of assorted cookies from Delhi and was asking around for a suitable day to unpack them. Seeing that attendance was rising by the day, he decided to give us the treat this morning (lead pic). Incidentally, this was also a belated celebration of his last birthday on October 15, 2012.
The other comeback ‘kid’ was Teja Singh Bhanwar (left pic). He stays in Faridabad, near Delhi, and visits us every six months without fail. He may not be a member, but so nicely has he endeared himself with his humility and quiet dignity that Srichand Arora had to gift him with a Club cap the last time he was around. Most significantly, he has been more regular for the exercises than any of the regular members. So his return this morning was much like filling up a vacuum he had left in August last.
Welcome back, Teja Singh-ji!
Harish Wadhwa:
* Teja Singh-ji, welcome to your own club in Mumbai. He is such a loving, kind-hearted and dear person that no one can ever forget him. I recall how he offered prayers the last time instead of the surya-namaskar we do every day. His interaction with all (especially Grover-sa'ab in Punjabi) is worth a mention. Tussi pag pa ke bahoot sone lag rahe ho jee. Nazar na lage. Rab twanu lambi te kushhaal zindagi bhakshe.
* Missed another treat as usual. Jo aawat hai so paawat hai/ Jo sowat hai so khowat hai... Wah wah, kya baat hai!!!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Thank you Tara Chand-ji for the cookies. They were really delicious. After all, they were from the House of Frontier, a well known name in New Delhi. I am sure every one had something nice to say about the tasty cookies.
Harish Wadhwa adds:
I wanted to say something about the cookies. Alas, I didn't get any. Like book reviews, I am open to giving food reviews -- whether home-made or otherwise.

Change is Constant

Change, they say, is the only constant in life. More often than not, the changes around us are so gradual and subtle that we do not even notice them. And then, it takes a small trigger for us to reflect and realize that things are no longer the same.
This morning, when Razia Khan came in visibly agitated over losing her Club cap in the Chinese Hut yesterday, many wondered what the fuss was about. Some even teased her for having lost her “izzat”. After all, what is the big deal about a blue cap? But Razia was upset and kept grumbling... till Banoo Khan appeared on the scene waving her cap. Razia’s face lit up with joy. She jumped and embraced Banoo (right pic).
Such a scenario would have been inconceivable even a year back. We were then like any other laughter club with no mooring, let alone a sense of belonging. People came in, laughed and went away. Nothing held anyone back. Gradually, from that casual and fragmented cluster of individuals, we have coalesced into a cohesive group – a proper club.
In the process our numbers have gone up, new friendships forged and all of us are getting happily older. We have our ego clashes and celebrate all birthdays and festivals; we watch movies together and commiserate when tragedy befalls anyone; we drink ourselves silly in one another’s homes and venture out long distance – to Goa, to Kashmir, and now to Vaishno Devi and Himachal Pradesh.
Indeed, much water has flowed down the nullah next to the Garden as we keep to our daily exercise routine religiously. Even in this, changes are creeping in – the latest being our signature wrap-up to each exercise round. Instead of saying “Very Good-Very Good-Hey!” from today, we shall be ingratiating ourselves in Hindi: “Bahut Achche-Bahut Achche-Waah!” The bottom pic captures this spirit of jubilation and joyous abandon.
Harish Wadhwa:
Two veteran 'Laafing Buddhas' of our club -- flanked by Arun and Tara Chand-ji, laafing with equal enthusiasm. Lovely pic. They are all looking really great. Bas yoonhi hanste rahiye.

Bank Open?

Today’s all-India strike called by trade unions had cast its long shadow on the Garden. Though it was too early in the morning to assess its impact, the tension in the air was palpable. Would offices and business establishments be open? Would buses and auto-rickshaws be plying? What about essential supplies? Most importantly, would the banks be open? Or would the ATM be open and bank be closed? Or bank open and ATM closed…
Bose Babu, who was conducting the laughter exercises in the middle, was amused at this undue concern about banks when suddenly, much to his horror and instant mortification, he realized that the fly of his shorts was open! So this was the “bank” some of the men were pointedly pointing out to him during the Slow and Fast laughter round?
He looked around to check if the ladies had also seen, panic seizing him gradually. To zip up then would only make things obvious. But with every passing second, every time a lady laughed, he imagined he was the reason. And when everyone kept laughing during the Medium Laughter round next, he broke into cold sweat. He prayed that the earth would open up and gobble him. Luckily, the Clearing of Lungs was up next and when everyone looked skywards to exhale, he quickly zipped up.
Those terrifying five minutes found an echo after the exercises when Srichand Arora was cornered for keeping his “bank” open. Promptly his hands fleeted down and finding himself securely zipped, he pleaded with folded hands: “Why are you people after my bank? Is there no other bank around?”
To be caught with one's “shockings exposed to male and female women”, albeit unintentionally, is an occupational hazard every man lives with. Blame it on absent-mindedness or forgetfulness, it only gets worse with advancing age – much like turning up at the Garden wearing your T-shirt inside-out.
But what would you say of Sitaram Hivarkar (right) today, blissfully unaware of an alien creature crawling all over his face? Shekhawat was jumping with joy, insisting that the large, wiggly black worm on Sitaram’s upper lip be photographed for posterity -- before it ended up inside the left nostril. Only then, did Sitaram wake up to the alien invasion.
Now that has to be the height of absent-mindedness!
Bhaswati Bose:
This is what happens when the wife is not around.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Come on Mrs Bose, people with great wives also could do nothing about the 'banks' (LOL)!
* Sitaram-ji is a sant-man. He did not want to harm or hurt the alien. So he purposely ignored it. Kya bigaad lega woh nanhi-si-jaan?
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* "See this gentleman here. Take his advice."
* "Who, me? Nothing is worrying me."
Jagmohan Papneja:
Today's strike impacted banking services -- public, private and personal. Those with their personal banks opened unknowingly had to shut them to avoid embarrassment.

Taj Mahal of Bathroom

Yesterday they were all there – Yusuf Rassiwala, Sitaram Hivarkar, Bapu Rane, Geeta Sardhana, Tara Chand Seth (see post). Today, none of them were to be seen. Even the regulars did not show their faces. Srichand Arora, Ved Prakash Grover and Jagmohan Papneja were all conspicuous by their absence.
And yet, funnily, everyone had to pick on Hari Singh Shekhawat (left). He turned up only after the exercises and prayers were over; but till then, he was the butt of all speculation over his absence – simply because he had, in an unguarded moment, revealed that one bathroom in his house was under repairs.
“Everyone in the house is in a hurry to use the other bathroom in the morning and I am left waiting in the queue,” he said in all earnestness. “So please do not mind if I am late for the exercises – at least till such time both bathrooms become functional.”
But that was about a fortnight ago. “It takes hardly a week to repair a bathroom,” Nahid Khan commented. “What kind of a bathroom is he constructing?”
“No-no-no… it takes a long time,” said Nafisa Sayyad, almost losing balance in the Kissa-Kursi Ka round. “I just got the bathroom repaired in my Pune house. They took more than a week only to place the tiles.”
“But don’t they fix the commode first to make the bathroom functional and thereafter work on the tiles?” wondered Khatoon Baig during the Free Style Swimming round.
“I am sure the bathroom is only a bahana (excuse),” concluded Razia Khan doing the Nach Baliye.
“He must be making a Taj Mahal out of his bathroom,” persisted Nahid, rolling her head clockwise, then anti-clockwise (pic right). “Chalo, let’s go there and see.”
As the mystery deepened, everyone agreed that the next Club picnic should be fixed for Shekhawat’s bathroom. “Nothing like that!” snapped Arun Patil suddenly. “He must have gone to the Ghatkopar rail tracks with a lota to relieve himself there. He’ll return any moment now.” And sure enough, as if on cue, Shekhawat showed up – grinning from ear to ear!
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
"He-He... I have everyone under my thumb!"
Heads up and watch the birds fly.
Harish Wadhwa:
* What a hilarious story telling! The damage to environment can be severe if one has to go all the way to Ghatkopar. Try the neighbour's WC instead. I am sure they will oblige.
* Bathrooms are special 'thinking rooms' where one spends quality time. So might as well make it nice and cosy. Who knows, some of us may also need it some day? So Shekhawat-ji, do it well.
Jagmohan Papneja:
A bathroom is the best reflection of your personality. Renovating it is no easy task. It requires time and sacrifice to be completed to one's full satisfaction. This is reason Shekhawat-ji, who used to be punctual, comes late nowadays.
Harish Wadhwa adds:
Papneja-ji, time and money are understandable. What other 'personal' sacrifice is needed for getting a bathroom done-up?

Internal Dynamics

There’s something about group dynamics in our club that defies explanation. Call it herd mentality, a seasonal trend or plain coincidence, the moment some people stop coming for the exercises, entire groups start absconding and attendance drops sharply. Again, when people start showing up, there is a virtual influx and attendance shoots up dramatically.
Today was one such day. Despite an annoying cold spell this morning, we had a healthy turnout. What’s more, many who were not to be seen for weeks, if not months, all showed up together. Yusuf Rassiwala (top left), for one, was attending after a fortnight and he had nothing to explain for his absence. “I get up every morning in time, perform my prayers and then something happens, I go back to sleep,” he confessed sheepishly.
Geeta Sardhana (bottom left) was another senior member we were missing for quite some time. But then, she has her religious commitments as a life-term devotee of the ISKCON order. And there was Tara Chand Seth (top right) also, who was away at his son’s place in Delhi and showed up today after almost four months. He has put on some tan and a few extra kilos, but was sprightly and cheerful as always.
The shocker though, was Bapu Rane (right). We were seeing him after close to two months and much as we knew that he had contracted a serious intestinal disorder, we never expected him to have pulled down so badly. He appeared frail, a shadow of his former self. He said he was on liquid diet because solids can no longer pass through his digestive tract. An ayurvedic doctor has promised to cure him, but Rane is not very hopeful. He looks tired and weak, and is resigned to his fate. Let us pray for him.
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
"We are back and this time for good!"
Harish Wadhwa:
Faith moves mountains. Rane-ji will recover soon. The body has its own way to recover and this will happen for him as well.

Day 920

Pic of the Week

"WO – WO – WOAH – AAAAAHHHH… WHAT RELIEF!"

Send him to irrigate the drought-hit areas! --Bhaswati Bose

Bhai! What are you doing??? --Dilip Babani

Dear Harish-ji, donate generously. We are going through a serious drought. --Kishor Babani

Life begins with water and life will end without it. Save water. The world is in your hands! --Jagmohan Papneja

The grass shall never be dry or lack water. Charge of the Water Brigade! --Renu Babani

Sakht zaroorat thi. Barsaat se nahin, toh kahin aur se hi. Thanks dear! --Srichand Arora

I have applied recently for a job in the fire brigade. Let's see. -- Harish Wadhawa

Chance of Lifetime

Shekhawat today made Sunita Jajodia an offer she could not refuse. “We’ll take you to Vaishno Devi and across Himachal Pradesh for Rs10,000 only,” he said. “Think about it. Others are being charged Rs20,000 and you’ll be paying only half the amount. There's also a helicopter ride included. This is a chance of a lifetime. You won’t get this opportunity again!”
The lady’s face lit up. “Good, I’ll get a room partner at the hotel,” Santosh Tyagi butted in, noticing Sunita’s change of expression. For months, Sunita had doggedly dug in her heels against Shekhawat's routine pestering to join the tour next month (see last post of February 13). Now she suddenly appeared inclined.
Shekhawat also noticed the change of expression and immediately changed tack. “You have only one day to decide,” he said, rapidly closing the window of opportunity. “Think about it and let me know by tomorrow."
Sunita (left pic) still looked gleeful. Obviously Shekhawat did not expect such an abrupt change of heart and the prospect of having to foot half of Sunita’s travel bill now seemed real. “You have two hours to decide,” he declared, desperately trying to wriggle out of the situation. “My offer closes at 9.00 a.m. sharp,” he reminded her, just hoping that she would refuse. Fortunately for him, Sunita got the hint and politely declined.
Whenever Shekhawat gets into such mischievous mood, we can be assured of a gala morning. And what could be any better than having a fun-filled session capped by not one, but two big treats? Monthi Serrao (top pic) shared her joy on her son (a U.S.-trained physiotherapist) landing a prestigious job in a Mumbai hospital while Santosh Tyagi (bottom pic) celebrated the commencement of "work on the new house" she had bought.
But all that after Srichand Arora created club history. In the absence of Sitaram Hivarkar and other regulars who conduct the morning prayers, he presided over this post-exercise ceremony today (lead pic) for the first time.
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* Thus we pray together... Always proving that we are united!
* Sweets, treats galore -- a routine that is always welcome.
* Who, me? I didn't say anything!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Shekhawat-ji's offer to Sunita-ji indicates that his behaviour has much improved after he has stopped drinking. It is much more fun that he does NOT drink than when he drinks.

Damaged Piece

We had a new ‘damage piece’ today. Bhaswati Bose (left pic) joins the ranks of the distressed multitudes thronging the Health Care Centre opened in the Garden last month. She has been suffering from severe back pain caused by wear-and-tear of the lumbar region. The therapist at the Centre put the fear of God in her and advised her not to exercise at all (preferably, not even walk) and instead, start on an elaborate ten-day physiotherapy course – failing which her legs would soon be affected and she’d end up being a cripple. Terrified, she went through the first session last evening and to the credit of the therapist, came out hugely relieved.
Most members however, refused to believe her and argued that it was all a rip-off when the problem could as well be cured free-of-cost at Millat Nagar, Mahim, Malad, Marol… coincidentally, all places starting with ‘M’. Ram Shankar Shukla suggested not going anywhere but to sleep it off on a hard surface at home. "Don't use a pillow," interjected Sitaram Hivarkar. “Imagine you are sleeping on a footpath,” added Arun Patil and went on to explain some yogic postures. “Get a cold gel pack from any medical store and you’d be cured,” advised a lady. As it usually happens, there were as many pieces of advice as there were people, each trying to be helpful, but only adding to the overall confusion. And that’s a very nice thing about our Club.
Meanwhile, Shekhawat threw a monkey in the works by posing a riddle (right pic): What are the two things that once you let out, cannot be called back? “Socho, Socho!” he urged everyone. Arora cut him short, saying we must not utter “bad words” in the morning. But Shekhawat was insistent and had got us all guessing… till one by one, we gave up. Sunita Jajodia had the last word though, when she declared “Bhaad mein gaya!” and stomped off without waiting for an answer to life's big riddle.
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* "I'm fine. Can't you see me smiling?"
* "As usual, we shall have some fun and laughs."

Three Cheers

We had three good reasons to rejoice today. One, it was Vasant Panchami, the onset of the spring festival – which extends up to tomorrow (according to certain versions of the Hindu almanac). Two, it was Valentine’s Day. And three, it was Mumtaz Jahan’s birthday as well.
Little known to many, there was yet another reason to celebrate today. It happened to be the day when Lord Kamdeva, the Hindu god of love, is propitiated – which effectively made for a combination of celebrations marking Vasant Panchami and Valentine’s Day.
With love in the air, it was only natural that the Club’s most abiding friends, Razia Khan and Nafisa Sayyad (pic left) should be targeted today. So inseparable are the two that what had begun with off-the-cuff jibes of ‘doh hanso ka joda’ has now crystallized into direct but playful references of they being a ‘married couple’. In fact, Shekhawat calls Razia “Nafisa’s Mister” and had once lost a bet of Rs500 on this count. But it must also be said that very few are as privileged to be blessed with such lasting friendship as theirs. For our benefit, Nafisa even pinned a white flower into Razia's hair and two sportingly posed for the picture above.
Shekhawat called Mumtaz (right pic) from the Garden to wish her on her birthday – only to discover that she was thanking him from Delhi. Still, we did our little number of raising an extra laugh for her after the exercises and wished her the very best on the occasion.
The only dampener though was the news of Monthi Serrao (left pic) being struck by a nasty attack of conjunctivitis. She had been organizing a movie outing for Special 26 today afternoon, but had to call it off at the eleventh hour. The lady is keeping indifferent health and of late, has become quite irregular for the exercises. Let us pray for her recovery and all-round wellness for all time.
Srichand Arora:
* Mumtaz-ji, we all from Big Laaf wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Meetha toh banta hai na! But no problem, we can wait till you come back to Mumbai.
* Monthi-ji, we all from Big Laaf wish you an early recovery from this unwanted and uninvited conjunctivitis. ALL THE BEST!
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* Friendship forever... No matter what the future holds!
* Yes, that's me... looking a year younger today!
* Where do you think I am going? I shall return soon.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Mumtaz-ji is lucky because her birthday falls on Valentine's Day. Wah! It is so good. Two-in-one celebration, both at the same time. May your days be filled with laughter and the finest things in life always come your way. Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mumtaz-ji!

Himachal Tour

With a little more than a month to go, the process of tying up loose ends for the Himachal Tour has begun. Hari Singh Shekhawat and Srichand Arora took stock of the financials – the collections made so far, installments advanced to the tour operator and the balance amount required to be generated from all members proceeding on the tour.
Basically, out of the 23 who had enlisted initially, four have opted out, thereby leaving a contingent of 19 – each of them having already paid Rs10,000 towards various bookings. It was estimated that an additional Rs10,000 would be required per head, which would take care of all foreseeable expenses and the balance shall be refunded at the end of the trip. The amount includes charges for hiring helicopters from Katra to the Vaishno Devi shrine, for which bookings would be made online on March 1, in Mumbai itself.
The ten-day tour starts on March 27 from Mumbai and will hit Vaishno Devi four days later via Amritsar. Thereafter the entourage will wind its way across all the major scenic spots of Himachal Pradesh and finally terminate at Delhi a week later. The only regret, if any, is that the group members will be missing the Holi festivities as they would be in the train on March 27.
Meanwhile, here's a charming picture (left) from Pratap Bhatt, currently holidaying in Australia. He sends it with his good wishes.
Harish Wadhwa:
Why is Arora-ji blocking a ear and not wanting to listen to the 'guru gyan'?
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* "Can someone please explain what is this discussion about?"
* "A big hello to everyone. I'm fine and having fun."

It Rained!

Somebody above must be mad. Yesterday it was stiflingly hot (see post) and today it actually rained – an hour before the exercises were to start. The freak showers, though brief, brought down the temperature considerably but humidity levels shot up and everyone was left wondering when it had last rained in February.
“Everything in Mumbai happens according to a time schedule,” informed Ved Prakash Grover (pic below). “The time for it to rain here is supposed to be from June 15 to September 15 every year. Where did this rain come from?”
“Must be impregnation of the clouds,” said Srichand Arora sombrely, staring skywards.
Be that as it may, the Met guys have predicted the ‘return of another severe cold wave’ in the next two days because of disturbances in the western Himalayan region. This is good news as the very opposite is bound to happen and we can be assured of very pleasant and cool mornings.
The other good news was Santosh Tyagi returning to the Garden – looking hale and hearty -- to celebrate her birthday (post of February 10) with us. She had brought along fresh milk cakes (pic above), much to the delight of many who were eagerly awaiting this treat. Once again, many happy returns of the day, Santosh-ji!
Jagmohan Papneja:
The weather is uncertain because of global warming. Sometimes it's good, sometimes bad. And there is nothing you can do about it.
Harish Wadhwa:
I was again unlucky not to be treated to the milk cake birthday celebration from Santosh-ji. I am sure she will be considerate enough to offer me lunch or dinner some day as compensation. Kuchh nahin toh Holi par extra kanji hee chalegi!
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* Another great day! Considering the crazy weather, why not celebrate?
P.S.: Santosh-ji, it was great seeing you at the Garden. Thanks for the lovely mithai, loved it!
Harish Wadhwa adds:
* The new format of Guru Gyan as pictures of great sayings is very nice. Most of them are self-explanatory and speaks volumes.
* Is anyone noticing that we will soon be touching the 200,000 mark of viewership? Going great guns Blog Monster!

Yo-Yo Weather

Nearly everyone who reported for the exercises this morning inquired about Santosh Tyagi. Yesterday was her birthday (see post) and they all wanted to wish her, though belatedly, in person. They also expected there to be a birthday treat in store. Monthi Serrao pulled in Neelam Garg because of “Santosh-ji’s birthday celebration” today. Bhaswati Bose declared that in anticipation of a big treat, she did not plan for breakfast at home. Srichand Arora went a step beyond: He confessed to fasting since yesterday after having julaab (laxative) so as to "make extra room in the stomach” for the goodies!
Alas, this was not to be. Santosh did not turn up today. Left high and dry, people made frantic calls from the Garden, checking out on her. Santosh picked the phone and informed that she was down with fever and flu. To eliminate the possibility of malaria, she would be getting a blood test done today. She, of course, apologised for not visiting the Garden and gracefully accepted everyone’s good wishes. We did the ‘fourth laughter’ routine after the exercises and also prayed for her early recovery.
Santosh is not alone at falling prey to the yo-yoing weather conditions that has led to a spurt in pulmonary ailments accompanied by high fever. Almost all of us has been a casualty, Monthi being the latest to recover from it. Last week-end, we were freezing in the morning cold (post of February 7) and today, it was so warm that many were perspiring even before the exercises had begun. Tomorrow, for all we know, another cold wave may hit us!
Harish Wadhwa:
* Birthday or no birthday, it is celebration time as always, each day, for the chhate huey badmaash in the bottom pic. Long live our Badmaash Company!
* Get well soon Santosh-ji and get some nice jokes for your birthday!!!
Jagmohan Papneja:
The season is really bad. Illness complicates health. I pray everyone is as healthy as possible. And that peace reaches your hearts.

Day 913

Pic of the Week

MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY ON HER BIRTHDAY

Santosh-ji, we all wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY and MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY. A loud, extra laugh is due and will be delivered tomorrow. Kindly join us. --Srichand Arora

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Santosh-ji! May you always be smiling and have a great birthday. --Renu Babani

Wishing you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Santosh-ji. May you get the best of everything in life. --Jagmohan Papneja

"Phool khilte rahein zindagi ki raah mein,
Hassi chamakti rahe aapki nigaah mein..."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Santosh-ji! --Bhaswati Bose

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Santosh-ji! --Dilip Babani

Janm din mubarak ho, Santosh-ji!
Aap aise hi hanste rahein aur hanste rahein... Hamari sabki hardik shubh-kamnayein. (Waise toh Punjabi atte ka halwa is anytime welcome!) --Harish Wadhwa

High Spirits

Hari Singh Shekhawat was in high spirits. He did his medical check-up yesterday and more significantly, his son, Raghuveer has had a successful angioplasty at Hinduja Hospital the day before. The procedure took inordinately long, but at the end of five agonising hours, the family must have been much relieved. So today, it was only natural that Shekhawat should be in a celebratory mood.
But that is not why everyone looks at him with suspicion these days. He claims to have given up the ‘golden liquid’ for good from February 1, 2013, but with every passing day, his behaviour appears increasingly childish if not tipsy. Nahid Khan (also in pic) could not help remarking that “if he should be so uncontrollable being off-drinks, what would be his condition were he to be still on-drinks!”
It was all in jest though and no offence meant – whether it was his needling the ladies for the Himachal Tour next month or on narrating how he could get the ‘langot’ of someone who owed him money or the elaborate ceremony every time he makes a refund... But what took the cake (and the bakery too) was when he startled Nahid by going up close to point out that her outfit was not all-black as others were saying. There were some shades of grey as well!
How we wish we too were able to retain the child-like innocence of a golden hearted simpleton.
Jagmohan Papneja:
It is a strong belief of mine that God helps those who help others and it is true of Shekhawat-ji. I am glad he and his son are fit and fine.

She’s Back!

Razia Khan is back. After what must have been a horrendous one-and-half months of battling medical callousness (see post of January 23), she came in today looking bright and almost recovered. One kidney stone has been surgically removed, but there are still two more to go, according to son Sarfraz, who handsomely escorted her to the Garden this morning.
It was a ‘family reunion’ of sorts as we spontaneously interrupted our exercises and welcomed Razia with a round of applause. The collective joy of having her back in our midst found expression again in a rapturous ‘fourth laughter’ in her honour, followed by a photo-op (lead pic) with the entire group posing together at the end of the exercises.
Razia is one of those members who has endeared herself very soon, such that today it is hard to believe that she is relatively a new entrant in the Club. She took the initiative as a fresher in conducting exercises (when many 'veterans' shied away), encouraged the reticent types to step in the middle, started organising parties in restaurants for the first time, hosted dinner at home to bring about cohesiveness among members… She might have been misunderstood at times, but can never be questioned on her noble intentions, caring nature, cheerful never-say-die attitude and most importantly, heightened sense of positivity. We missed all this, and much more, during her absence.
Welcome back, Razia!
Jagmohan Papneja:
I missed you very much, Razia-ji and prayed for your early return. I am extremely pleased to have you with us again. Looking forward to laughing exercises with you and posing in a photo too.
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* "I'm back, better than you can imagine, stronger than you think."
* "And the exercise goes on..."
Razia Khan:
Thank you all for your prayers and wishes:
"Jab Tak Bikey Na Thhey, Toh Koi Janta Na Thha,
Tumne Kharidkar Mujhe Anmol Kar Diya!"
Srichand Arora:
Well said, Razia-ji. May God bless you!

Parting Shot

Once again, a morning ideally to be in bed with a hot cup of tea. No wonder many regulars did not show up today. Both Santosh Tyagi and Sunita Jajodia came up with a brilliant idea – to suspend the exercises and have “hot-hot pakodas and chai at home". But whose "home" was not specified and we were left to our accursed fate - to brave the severe chill out in the open.
This was winter’s parting kick. Just when we thought that the worst was over for the season, the cold wave from the north has revisited us. We are told that it did not rain as much in Delhi in 70 years as it did two days back. The effect is now being felt in Mumbai. We can only thank our stars for being spared of a wet spell.
Nevertheless Ved Prakash Grover shivered and stuttered in his blue track suit and every time a gentle breeze blew across, he fell silent. Everyone inquired about Shekhawat who was supposed to have sworn off booze from February 1. With no ‘fuel’ in his veins, he had a good excuse to stay put indoors. But Harbans Kaur (left pic) sent word on being unwell with a chronic knee condition. She too did not want to take chances in the cold.
To infuse some warmth, Srichand Arora went about being his jovial self with some wisecracks and crazy throwaways. Nahid Khan chipped in with a few chirpy one-liners. Santosh too brought cheer by relating some jokes (lead pic) at the end of the exercises. But ultimately, it was the fierce bone-chilling cold that did us in.
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* "Here are some jokes to keep you laughing. Hopefully the blood rush keeps us warm."
* "I may not feel too good now, but will be back soon."
Jagmohan Papneja:
Some plants require a certain degree of cold to bear flowers and fruit. Many vegetables come in winter... I love the winter season.

Comedy of Errors

What would you do when something you had discarded as a worthless piece of trinket turns out to be of REAL GOLD worth several thousands? Or so you are told. And now its owner is on the prowl, gunning for you? Worse still, you don’t even remember what you had done with the damn thing…
Monthi Serrao found herself in exactly this predicament when Shekhawat called her late last evening to enquire about the gold chain she is seen dangling in yesterday’s blog. It amounted to photographic evidence that virtually pins her down, even as the chain had changed hands many times before her. It belonged to a middle-aged Muslim woman who had apparently seen this blog and now wanted to know from Shekhawat how she could get hold of Monthi Serrao.
Taken aback, Monthi plainly told Shekhawat she had given the chain to Geeta Sardhana (right pic) -- only to regret because she wasn’t completely sure. Quickly she dialed Geeta’s number to check, but there was no response. Suppose Geeta did not have the chain? With panic building, she confided in her family members and then called Geeta again. Still no response. She called up friends and they all said that mentioning a name in such cases, immediately makes that person a suspect in the eyes of the police. One friend even began chanting a ‘magic mantra’ to help her retrieve the chain.
But why was Geeta not picking up the phone? Everything now hinged on her. Suppose she denied taking it from her? Suppose she had chucked it away? Suppose she too cannot remember... It was also possible that not Geeta, but someone else had taken the chain from her. But who? And why should that person admit? With these thoughts swirling in her head, Monthi went through a needlessly long, sleepless night.
For this morning, when she was at the Garden, Geeta was present with the chain. She had kept it carefully to decorate her doll! The owner was called in, photos clicked (lead pic) and after due identification, she was ceremoniously handed over the chain in the presence of witnesses. And now, here's the anti-climax: The lady refused to accept it. She wanted HER chain, a real gold chain. This was not hers!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Big Laaf members, Good Mind/ Gold chain claimant, Good Find/ If you are good, all are good!