Potty Bombs

Don't miss the white Laksman Rekha on the ground

Little known to many, the Garden is a busy place night and day. Its verdant expanse with beautiful flowering plants and bushes, well-manicured lawns, the crisscrossing walking track and shaded stretches make it a popular haunt for countless health enthusiasts, courting couples and many aspiring film writers and lyricists.
By nightfall, the denizens of darkness take over. Mainly stray dogs, they too have important business to conduct, just that they do not need a gate to enter the Garden. But before leaving, they would dutifully defecate around so as to record their visit at night.
The randomness of this act has turned the Garden into a veritable minefield of ‘potty bombs’ which only a trained eye, like that of Santosh Tyagi or Sunita Jajodia, is able to detect. Many members insist that it is unfair to blame only stray dogs, because stray humans are also capable of defecating and going by evidence on the ground, their involvement cannot be ruled out. While nobody has dared to ask what that evidence is, one thing has become eminently clear: Dog potty is acceptable around the Garden, but human potty is not!
All this has left us with no option but to shift position every other day (“a few feet left, a few feet right”) for the exercises in order to avoid treading upon a hidden mound of fresh excreta. Still, for all their alertness, people are often seen walking away in embarrassment, dragging their feet and leaving behind a soily, sticky, squishy and stinky trail

Arora wants to host a party on Thursday

for all to see.
Today a solution of sorts was found by marking out a circle on the ground with a spare hose pipe lying about. We were told to exercise within the circle as this was a ‘safe zone’ free from all hidden dangers of the grass. But out of politeness and not making things too obvious to the ladies, Srichand Arora described this as our Lakshman Rekha. “If you step out of this circle, Ravan will abduct you,” he joked.
Tara Chand Seth did not quite get the point and remarked that there were “already so many Ravans around that no Lakshman Rekha can help”. But Arora was to have the last laugh when Jagmohan Papneja did his usual disappearing act midway through the exercises. “Watch out, Sita will now abduct you!” Arora warned amid rousing laughter. Jagmohan walked away regardless, taking care not to step on slippery ground.

Day 1769

Pic of the Week

TURF WAR ESCALATES... FIERCE HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT

War between 'black belt' and 'black knicker'! --Bihari Milwani

Fooling About?

Father and son

Prabha Kapoor treats us to
biscuits brought from Delhi

Yesterday’s kids did not show up today. But an old man did. He had come from Bihar and according to his son (accompanying him), he is recovering from a paralytic stroke that had, till a few weeks back, rendered him immobile waist-down.
Apparently the son had attended our exercises earlier (not that we remember) and was familiar with our routine. “I feel that if he joins you every morning on a regular basis, he will recover faster,” he said. “We don’t mind paying your membership charges.”
Now, this is something that beats us.

Jagmohan Papneja wants to take
everyone to a musical show

On the one hand, we hold the reputation of being a bunch of foot-loose, fun-loving, happy-go-lucky people who have nothing better to do in life than to play the fool every morning in the Garden -- and eat and eat.
On the other hand, there is this enduring public perception of we being a well-disciplined and regimented group such that, we never skip the exercises even for a day, come hail or high water. Many in the Garden say that they set their watches on our movements. It is also not unusual to have crowds gawking at us from the walking track, as though we are some kind of a tourist attraction. This is very common on Wednesdays and Saturdays when most of us are in uniform green or white tops/ T-shirts.
So every time someone takes a leap of faith and seeks permission to join us, we are flattered. We feel reassured that we are not as bad as we make ourselves to be and that we could be doing some things right after all. This is also reflected in the ever-expanding exercise circle – as was evident today. A time would soon come when we would cover the full section of the Garden where we have been ‘fooling about’ for the past ten years or so.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd) from Mohali:
Laughter is contagious. If one laughs, everybody starts laughing. Laughter is also a great medicine. It cures a lot many diseases. You forget all your worries and your heart starts functioning well. I cannot say about paralytic attacks, but I am sure the father and son duo from Bihar will be happy doing the exercises with Club members.

Gandhi Jayanti 2015

The kids join us for today's exercises

The Club does not celebrate Gandhi Jayanti. Never did. But we were reminded of the great man who got us freedom from British rule when a flock of little children descended upon us while we were exercising.
They were all in regulation white cap-'n'-T-shirt with the legend, ‘Spark a Change’ printed in large, colorful lettering. Where they came from and why, nobody asked. But Tara Chand Seth surmised that they must have all run away from school, till someone reminded him that schools were closed today.
“Today is Gandhi Jayanti,” he was told.
Those mysterious kids came in two droves – each time departing en masse and as suddenly as they had come.
Arora invited them to join us for the exercises – which was another way of telling us to be at our best behavior in their presence. Shekhawat looked restrained and crestfallen for a while… till he could not hold himself any longer and burst out declaring with his arms outstretched, “Hai Mera Dil!”

Time to disperse...

Promptly the children ran away.
Confused, Shekhawat tried to explain that he had not spoken to any child in particular and in any case, there was no bad intention behind the declaration on his ‘dil’.
But Mallika Kagzi insisted that it was buri baat (a bad word) and in future, he better hold his tongue in front of kids.
Shekhawat simply dismissed her and started needling Bijoy Gupta till he found another flock of kids, similarly dressed but older, landing unannounced and uninvited.
Shekhawat peered at them suspiciously, then turned his back and started making phone calls to kill time.
Turns out that some kind soul somewhere was treating those kids to a movie, Singh is Bling, first-day first-show, as part of some Gandhi Jayanti celebration. He had told them to gather at the Garden, from where they would be herded to a cineplex close-by.

On Steroids

What is Shekhawat (in red) up to in the middle?

Today was a continuation of yesterday. In fact, the level of madness went up by a few notches -- more so, because the turnout for the exercises had ballooned to 30-plus this morning.

Santosh playfully 'forgives' Mallika

And with Razia Khan in the middle, it appeared as though all the pranksters, comics and jokesters were on steroids. Even Srichand Arora dropped a bombshell when he reacted to the standard greeting of ‘Aa-daab’ by asking cheekily, “Bolo, kahaan daaboo?” He instantly bit his tongue in regret.

Something's cooking in their heads

But the joke was not lost on anybody.
It would of course, be inappropriate to detail all the jokes and wisecracks exchanged. But lest an impression be created that on the pretext of exercising, we are engaged in mischief, here’s a clarification: At our age, we do not have to be told where to draw the line. We are neither keen to take the high moral ground nor are we obliged to explain our actions to anybody. Still, when sentiments are hurt, an apology is in order – just as Mallika Kagzi did on a personal level today. Shekhawat put it aptly when he told Siba Prasad Maitra this morning: “We come here to the Garden to enjoy, let our hair down... and not to hurt anyone's feelings. At the end of one hour, when we return home, our conscience must remain clear.”