DAY 2685

Pic of the Week

What does she want? Why's she behind bars???

She wants somebody to bail her out for the only single murder she has committed. --Yusuf Rassiwala

Are you sure it was not a DOUBLE MURDER? --Bhaswati Bose

OMG!!!😱😱😱😱😱 --Geeta Latte

She is not behind bars but inside beautiful bungalow and asking Auto Driver not to park in front of the gate. --Bihari Milwani

Wife Wanted!

Bijoy Gupta

Rukhsana Khan

Rukhsana Khan today jumped out of her skin when Bijoy Gupta, in full public view, accosted her with the question: “Will you be my wife?”
Anybody, in any other place, would have immediately taken offence. But Rukhsana smiled. She understood Gupta's compulsion. And all others within earshot figured out the context in which he had made such an 'indecent proposal'.
Gupta is desperately short of actors for his play to be staged at the Annual Day function this December. It is a husband-wife comedy (with a sultry, seductive girlfriend thrown in) and over the past one week, he has not found a single person willing to play any of these parts.
Rukhsana however, agreed to sit for a 15-minute narration of the script outside the China Hut and finally gave her verdict: “I won’t be able to memorise any of those lines,” she declared. “The lines are too long.”
This was neither here nor there. “Nobody is saying ‘no’ to a role, nor is anybody saying ‘yes’,” Gupta flared up. “What am I to make of this? If none of you are interested,

Unusually low attendance for a Saturday morning

why do you tell me to keep on writing? This is not some kind of joke. I have three plays ready right now. I can’t possibly be acting in all the parts. Where are the other actors?”
Gupta’s concern is genuine. We were supposed to have a crucial meeting today (ref post of September 22) to take stock of the talent available in the Club, but in view of low attendance, it proved a non-starter. “Don’t compel people into something they are not interested in,” Banoo Apa warned. “Otherwise they’ll back out during the rehearsals or make your life hell. We faced this problem last year.”
In the absence of any initiative, interest, aptitude or ability, Arun Patil came up with a simple Plan B. “Why don’t we utilize the funds for Annual Function on a paid picnic to Khandala?” he suggested. “You can have your play, skits, songs and dances… whatever you like there. You may even combine a few sporting events and celebrate Sports Day as well. This way, we’d kill two birds with one stone!” Coming from the Hon'ble Secretary, this certainly provides food for thought.

Punishing Humidity

Sitaram Hivarkar returns

Sitaram Hivarkar finally made it to the Garden (ref post of September 26). But it was a bad day to show up. A brief downpour last night had turned the morning air heavy with humidity. It had become near impossible to exercise – so drained out were we. Never before – at least, in living memory – had we been literally reduced

Invoking the sun god on a humid morning

to a pulsating mass of sweaty bodies, desperately gasping for breath.
Yusuf Rassiwala suggested that we rather disrupt the exercises and migrate to the China Hut en masse to exercise under the fan. As expected, Arun Patil vetoed the idea. But had we moved out, we would have got to meeting Sitaram inside the hut and saved him an arduous 20 minute extra walk to the spot where we were exercising.
“It took me almost an hour to walk down from home,” Sitaram said. “I needed to take a breather in the China Hut as my knees were giving way. After an autorickshaw accident last year, I am no longer able to walk as before. The pain is excruciating. Much of the time at home, I have to remain supine on a bed.”
Still, like the good old days, he led the prayers this morning and even managed to perform a few tai-chi numbers with us. We raised an extra laugh to formally welcome him back. “Now that I have shifted here, I shall be regular for the exercises every morning," he promised. “This is like another home-coming.”

Old Age Blues

Santosh Tyagi

Khatoon Baig

Tara Chand Seth

Sitaram Hivarkar did not come today (ref yesterday’s post). Something would have got in his way or else, he had clean forgotten. He wasn’t taking calls in the morning to say if all was well with him.
At age 79, Sitaram is no longer in control of his life. Like Shekhawat, he is a Navy veteran and draws a handsome pension. But domestic pressure, doctors’ restrictions, personal insecurities, etc. have robbed him of the ability to decide for himself – something that affects us all when we hit the threshold of dotage and dependence.
Take Khatoon Baig, another senior who has stopped showing up for some time. We are told that she is undergoing physiotherapy and on doctor’s orders, must not continue with her morning routine in the Garden. So even as she wants to (incidentally, she used to be among the most punctual) she cannot join us these days.
Tara Chand Seth offers another case in point. Nudging 90 years, he used to be the fastest walker on the walking track till recently. A nasty fall

Naseer Putani Shah (l) celebrates the birth of his 'chokre
ka chokra' with aflatoon

in the bathroom earned him a walking stick. But he remains cheerful as ever and had even made a trip to Delhi last week. He has however, lost the strength in his legs to climb the incline of the road bridge that leads to the Garden. Still, every other day, he promises to visit us.
There are several others in the same boat – all victims of circumstances with age catching up slowly, but inexorably. This is a reality forced upon us, without exception. Some are able to successfully fight the blues, as Santosh Tyagi did. She had developed an inexplicable mental block that kept her homebound for months on end. She even wanted to discontinue her Big Laaf membership.
“I used to dress up every morning, all set for the Garden, but change my mind midway and take the lift back home,” Santosh would narrate. This continued till one fine day, she “forced” herself to break out of the inertia. Much to her surprise, she was welcomed with open arms and upon being invited to play an active tole in the Club activities, a sense of belonging set in.
Today, Santosh stands out as not only a regular, but more punctual than most of us.

Bihari Milwani:
Someone should arrange surprise parties early morning. All will become youngsters then and be present in the Garden before the start of the exercises.

Good News, and Bad

Sitaram Hivarkar (l) greets us outside the Garden

Shekhawat curses his fate over breakfast at home

First the good news: Sitaram Hivarkar is back and will be exercising with us again. “I have shifted to Shantivan,” he said, greeting us outside the Garden gate. “I’ll try to join tomorrow itself for the exercises. How is everyone in the Club? I have been missing you all."
As a ‘founding father’ of Big Laaf, Sitaram used to conduct our exercises regularly till about five years back. Domestic compulsions made him relocate to Four Bungalows from where it was obviously difficult to commute to the Garden daily. Nevertheless, we kept in touch, allowing him to retain his membership and had also felicitated him on his 75th birthday (ref post of June 20, 2014).
Today, for his age, Sitaram looks unusually bright and more robust than what we had seen of him last. He has developed a knee problem though and requires a walking stick to move about. “Otherwise I feel fit and fine,” he said, flashing his trademark smile.
Now for the not-so-good news: The problem in Shekhawat’s chest (ref post of September 18) has relapsed. So acute is the pain that after leaving for the Garden this morning, he had to retrace his steps back home. “I cannot bear it any longer,” he gasped over the phone. “How much more do I have to suffer? I do not know what to do about these doctors.”
A small group from the Garden, led by Banoo Apa, paid him a courtesy visit. He was having his breakfast, but appeared to be in a belligerent mood. “I have a good mind to file a case of medical negligence against the doctors,” he said. “It’s been five years since I had the bypass surgery. And till date they cannot set right the problem of removing sutures. My son also insists on going to court.”
Shekhawat’s wife however, is against any litigation. She believes that the priority should be to address the problem at hand and later on, after full treatment, go to the press. She recounted the harassment the family has been through due to sheer incompetence on the part of the doctors. “They ought to be exposed in the media,” she asserted.

Bihari Milwani:
To remain happy, my personal experience has been to keep away from doctors and advocates. It is not advisable for Shekhawat to go for litigation. Further, in the event he loses the case, it will be more painful.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
It is nice to know that Sitaram Hivarkar is back. It will be good to have him as a regular member. So far as Shekhawat is concerned, for him the priority should be to get proper treatment. Health is more important than going to court. He should not waste his time and rather get proper treatment.