Nigerian Scare

Shekhawat informs of the Nigerian swoop at Royal Hills resort

A Nigerian invasion has put the fear of god in Shekhawat and summarily destroyed his plans for a picnic this weekend. The picnic at Royal Hills Resort was originally scheduled for Saturday, February 13, then shifted ‘on popular demand’ to February 14 (Valentine’s Day) and now, has been postponed indefinitely.
“Lochha ho gaya,” Shekhawat mumbled to himself. “There’s been a goof-up. Can you believe it, 60 Nigerians at the resort this Sunday? They’d be all over the place, occupying the swimming pool, bathrooms, the toilet, the dining area… They’ll be everywhere, 60 of them, no less. We would be completely outnumbered.”
Clearly reeling under visions of 60 muscular, ebony-bodied men and women in various stages of undress, Shekhawat went on to recount his conversation with the friendly resort manager. “He asked me if we would be able to adjust with the Nigerian group.

Monthi suggests another picnic spot

I told him baap-re-baap, we have so many ladies-log with us. How can we adjust?”
So petrified was Shekhawat at the thought of encountering 60 burly Nigerians at one place that he unilaterally decided to go nowhere close to the resort on February 14.

Fehmida Khan

Monthi Serrao helpfully suggested an alternative picnic resort beyond Panvel for a lesser price, but somehow, that did not register in Shekhawat’s head.
Harbans Kaur suggested a repeat trip to Chhota Kashmir. Even that did not make sense. “Tell me where did so many Nigerians come from,” he asked. “I am told they all stay together in some colony, god knows where. (“Mira Road,” Kiran Prakash proffered.) Did they all have to land on our heads together, that too on the 14th itself?”
A prankster tried to scare Shekhawat all the more by informing about the deadly tse-tse fly (found in Africa) which induces sleeping sickness. His head now buzzing with 6,000 Nigerians, Shekhawat went on to scare Fehmida Khan: “You know, even if a mosquito bites one of those Nigerians and then bites you, you will be sleeping forever.”
“Very good,” retorted Fehmida, a known insomniac. “I want to go to the resort on Sunday. Don’t cancel the picnic.” But as things stand, Shekhawat will make one final attempt for the Royal Hills on February 20 (Saturday) – failing which, he will abandon the idea for good and return the advance money he has collected.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
A picnic gives us the opportunity to be together for a longer time and enjoy the togetherness. This unique privilege has been denied, though momentarily. I will certainly miss the great occasion as my seats to Mohali are already booked. I regret missing the event.