Breaking Wind

All is fine with the world... and the members of Big Laaf

This is one topic not ordinarily discussed in polite company -- far less written about. But after what happened today, the time has come to let go. After all, holding anything inside is not good for health. And letting go of hot air once in a while is only a natural bodily function. We understand that. And so the intention is not to hurt feelings or make fun of anyone by name.
The problem we are facing these days is that while exercising, some members become eager to announce what they have had for dinner the previous night. And they do so in a variety of ways. It could be a short purr or burp, or an extended whoosh or even a wailing siren. Or it can take on the sounds of a Diwali rocket hitting the sky, a steady prrt-prrt-prrt, a musical whine or perhaps, the rat-tat-tat of machine gun fire.
We understand all that. What must go out must go out. And so we keep on exercising with a straight face, pretending not to have heard – even as the culprit could be standing alongside.

Get well soon, Nahid Khan!

The funny thing about this ‘culprit’ is that he too pretends all is fine with the world and would look the other way – only to do an action replay the next morning.
But it does not end there. What we have been observing is that this phenomenon has become somewhat contagious and that at least three new ‘culprits’ have emerged now, boldly competing with one another at doing the unspeakable. In effect, we are often treated to a medley of sounds, perfectly synchronized, coming from all directions with stereophonic effect. Today, what started with a short bark from one part of the circle was followed by a slow yelp from another end and then came a screeching whistle, abruptly interrupted by the final retort – a loud ‘boom’, obviously from the baap who started it all!
On a serious note though, here’s why Nahid Khan has not been turning up at the Garden for the past few days. She is not one to spend her mornings at home. But upon returning from Pune, she had consumed some pedas which did not agree with her and led to instant coughing. She isn’t sure whether it is food poisoning or viral flu, but she has since been rendered bed-ridden with a running tummy, fever and body ache – exactly the same symptoms Ved Prakash Grover is down with. Something contagious here too?