Goodbye 2012

Last day of the year. Dark morning. The sun did not come out. The skies were overcast as though the heavens were in mourning with the rest of the nation over the death of the 23-year-old Delhi rape victim. She succumbed to her injuries the day-before in a Singapore hospital and her body was cremated in Delhi yesterday amid tight security and secrecy.
We did not laugh thrice today after the exercises. Instead, at the bidding of Santosh Tyagi, we observed a two-minute silence (pic above) in the memory of the departed soul. Furthermore, we collectively took a pledge to safeguard the dignity of women and henceforth, rise as one man whenever any atrocity or ill-treatment against any woman comes to our notice. As Shekhawat and Ved Prakash Grover put it, with effect from the new year, “we will not be functioning as merely a laughing club, but also as a support group for those unfortunate women” who are harassed, tormented and brutalized every day.
Sitaram Hivarkar suggested that the initiative must start from our own homes while Santosh insisted that it is imperative to teach kids such noble values so that they grow up to respect women in everyday life. She bemoaned the influence of the Internet and mobile phones whereby exposure to strangers on social networking sites, etc. as well playing violent online games have corrupted impressionable minds. Mrs Harbans Singh was equally critical on the way Hindi films have desensitized men while Bapu Rane argued that we should discourage our girls from wearing skimpy clothes which invite eve-teasing and even rape.
The discussions spilled over to the tea session of the Badmaash Company (pic above right) where Arun Patil demanded summary execution of all rapists while the others spoke of corruption in the police force and politics, a lopsided legal system and the need for judicial reforms. Harish Wadhwa was particularly bitter about the way women often misused the law to blackmail or frame innocent men in false rape cases. All in all, a morning marked by much anger and anguish… to bring down the curtain on 2012.
Bhaswati Bose (right):
I agree with Santosh-ji and Sitaram-ji that respect towards women is inculcated at home. Parents should teach their children to respect women. Bapu Rane's views on skimpily clad girls reminds me of the banner a protester was holding: 'Don't tell me what to wear / Teach your son not to stare!' And Harish-bhai, HOW MANY false cases of rape are filed?
Harish Wadhwa:
* Mrs Bose, the answer is "many" -- just that these men suffer in silence.
* What I was driving at is that the law must be very strict, but should take a holistic view of all possibilities -- juvenile cases, marital rape, protection against false cases of dowry, allegations to harass men, etc.
Srichand Arora:
I completely agree with Harish-ji. Some time between September and October I read in the papers that in Punjab 90% and in U.P. about 70% cases are fraudulently filed by politicians out of revenge. Bhaswati-ji, you have many types of people in this world.
Jagmohan Papneja:
* People know that murder is a crime, but they do it anyway. In order to cut down on rapes, I suggest educating men on its implications and training women on rape prevention. Also, rapists should be given exemplary punishment in a time-bound manner.
* Like many others, I have decided not to celebrate New Year's out of respect towards the girl who lost her life to the rapists.

Day 871

Pic of the Week

Time to ring in 2013… to shelebrate! CHEERS!!!

* "Meri toh nikal padi. Aaj sharaab ke saath kabab bhi mil gaya. Happy 2013!" --Kishor Babani

* "Mastee bhara hain samaa/ Hum tum hain dono yahaa/ Matwaley bhee gaayenge/ Sab ko sunaayenge/ Tere mere daastaan!" --Jagmohan Papneja

* Peeney waalon ko peeney ka bahana chahiye! --Bhaswati Bose

* Fantasies do come true -- especially if they are with someone so special. Shekahwat-ji live your dream today with this pic, on this New Year eve! --Harish Wadhwa

* Retired fauji ko gori mem ne fasa liya! --Ved Prakash Grover

* Agar main yeh comments nahin padta toh maine toh gori ke saath Boman Irani samjha tha yaar! Shekhawat-ji, you must ask your son to create a role for you in a TV serial. A great actor we have in our group. Why, I'm forgetting a great photographer too. --Srichand Arora

Selective Amnesia

A funny problem has cropped up for the group going on the Himachal Tour next spring. Around Rs200,000 odd has been collected so far from the 23 of them and Shekhawat has disbursed all of it on booking railway tickets and hotel accommodation – except for Rs5,000-odd. Now he cannot reconcile Rs100 which he finds in excess on hand. Manual calculations are producing one result and the computer Excel Sheet and Calculator are throwing up a different set of figures. He has been spending sleepless nights over this and for the life of him, cannot remember who could have given him that extra Rs100. Arora swears by the Excel Sheet, Bose, by his Casio and Shekhawat by his manual number-crunching skills. If only memory had served him in this moment of crisis...
Signs of selective forgetfulness show up every morning, whether it is getting the sequence of exercises right, wearing the Club cap to the Garden, or even remembering the day and date of the week. We are all guilty of such memory lapses. A gentleman borrowed Bose’s lighter to light his cigarette and promised to return it after the exercises. He clean forgot. After almost half an hour, he came running back to the Garden, huffing and puffing, as he remembered to return the lighter only after reaching home.
And what would you say of Kishor Babani (left), who forgot he had fractured his arm a month back? True, it has healed quite a bit; but the arm is still under plaster, in a sling. So when a friend asked him this morning what the sling was doing around his neck, pat came the answer: “This is the latest fashion”! The best part was the man believed him and did not ask any further question.
For all we know, he would be walking around proudly with his arm in a sling from tomorrow.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Mr Shekhawat's plight reminds me of three friends who went to buy a clock costing Rs60. They contributed Rs20 each. Later, the shopkeeper discovered the clock was for Rs.50 and sent a servant to return the Rs10 charged in excess. The servant, unable to divide Rs10 equally among the three friends, kept Rs4 for himself and gave them Rs2 each. So now, each friend had spent Rs18. But 18 multiplied by 3 equals 54. Add the Rs4 retained by the servant and the total comes to Rs58. Where did the remaining Rs2 go?
Mr Shekhwat must be caught in a similar mathematical conundrum with the extra Rs100!

Welcome Back!

To us, the occasional ‘extra laugh’ we raise after the exercises has come to represent what the ceremonial 'gun salute' is to the armed forces. And so, it was with this symbolic greeting that we welcomed Santosh Tyagi, the grande dame of our Club, back into our fold today. She was away at Delhi for more than a month and this morning, in her unusually colourful salwar-kameez and hair let loose (side pic) she looked quite cheerful and much more refreshed and rejuvenated than what we have ever seen of her earlier.
The best part though, was that Harish Wadhwa appeared just in time as we were winding up and like an anxious school boy afraid of losing his lolly, cut across the Garden in a 50 metre sprint and presented himself obediently for his share of gajak that Santosh had brought from Delhi. Visibly flustered, she soon gathered herself and gracefully acknowledged Harish’s hug like a mother would. It was a fabulous gesture and a great sight – the Club’s senior-most female member and the youngest (and greediest) male member bonding big time (bottom pic). That’s what emotional connect in the Club is all about!
The other good news of the day was that Razia Khan has been discharged from hospital (see post of December 22) and is back home. Shekhawat, who called on her yesterday (with Ved Prakash Grover) informed us that she is out of agony and fast recuperating. The problem of kidney stones however, persists. She is currently under heavy medication and has been advised complete rest.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Santosh-ji has shown her true affection towards us by bringing rewari from Delhi. Great thanks to her. A good day to eat rewari in the Garden.
Renu Babani's PICSPEAK:
* "I am going for a second helping. Tastes great!"
* "What? Did you think I would miss out on this special treat?"
Harish Wadhwa:
Santosh-ji has a big heart. She gave me a bag full of til-gud revdi, when I met her. I for one was thanking my lucky stars to get goodies from her, wishing that she needs to visit Delhi more often. This instant happiness was however short-lived when I was asked to distribute it to everyone. I landed up getting (just) two of them. No problems, Santosh-ji can compensate it, by treating me to her famous brand of Santosh-kanji, now that carrots and beetroots are available in plenty. When can I give her empty bottles to ferment some?

Peculiar Problems

Following the furore yesterday (see post), signed notices appeared all over the Garden assuring everyone that there would be no change in timings and that the gate would remain open from 5.00 to 9.30 every morning as usual. Now, Nahid Khan (left) has a problem with that. She wants the gate to be open till 10.00 a.m. When told that it hardly makes a difference if she hangs around half an hour longer, she turned at the watchman, accusing him of the “nasty habit of chasing people out by blowing his whistle” at them. She has the painted notice outside the Garden gate to back her demand and in right earnest, went about moving heaven and Papneja to restore the status quo.
Nahid is not alone to be caught up in a peculiar problem. Kiran Sajjan (right) is another. Her son is getting married on January 26, 2013 at Pune and she does not know what to do. Should she invite people from the Club and if so, who? Or should she let it pass? If she gives a general invitation to the Club and someone accidentally turns up, will she have to provide for hotel stay? This is a huge problem. She has been consulting everyone and when told that she might as well restrict the invite to a reception in Mumbai, Kiran got all the more confused. The reception also is at Pune, she whispered.
Then we have Nafisa Sayyad (left) who came up with a self-created problem. She had been wanting to treat us to phapda-jalebi for long and today she was even carrying the money for it, she said. Srichand Arora advised her to keep the money safely and for better use, rather than waste it on something that would end up feeding sundry watchmen of adjoining buildings. But Nafisa was determined to give us a taste of phapda-jalebi today itself. She insisted that after the exercises we all accompany her to wherever phapda-jalebi is sold – failing which, we were welcome home. We took that as a rain check.
And then there was Hari Singh Shekhawat, overburdened by Rs100,000 collected for the March 2013 Himachal Tour. Finally, he found a willing recipient in Arora (pic above) to offload the currency notes – which will be further offloaded on a tour operator. Where else would you find such people having a problem with keeping money?
Jagmohan Papneja:
Having successfully completed the tour of famous destinations, Mr Shekhawat is now busy arranging the 'Himachal Trip'. Since he always has a solution to every problem, no doubt he can solve the problems of the three ladies featured.
Harish Wadhwa:
Solutions to the problems are simple:
(a) Nahid-ji may stay in the Garden for as long as she likes. If someone whistles at her, she should whistle back. We will put up her 'Sunday pic' on the Notice Board for people to know who 'she' really is.
(b) Kiran-ji may invite everyone. Those who can make it will have to make their own arrangements. If not, fine. Just send the gift money to her son!
c) It can never be a no from us, Nafisa-ji. We are 'ever ready'. Please get some phapda-jalebi tomorrow with some chai to flush it down.
(d) Shekhawat-ji has money problems? No problem, again. The Badmaash Company is willing to keep it and use it. With Dilip-bhai, it will multiply in two days flat on the stock market. Any more peculiar problems?

Silly Prank

A stupid announcement on the Notice Board raised everybody’s hackles this morning. It was a brief, three-line order – that henceforth no one would be permitted into the Garden before 7 a.m. – no reason, no signature, not even a letterhead… just “General Manager” typed in bold capitals at the bottom. But that was enough to set the proverbial cat among the pigeons.
Angry regulars protested against the ‘arbitrariness’ behind the order and threatened to stage a sit-in outside the gate tomorrow morning. Many started mobilizing support to break open the gate should they be prevented entry before 7 a.m. They reasoned that many early risers holding day jobs came in around 5 a.m. and were done with their exercises/ walk before 7’o clock. The garden watchman pleaded helplessness and said that he can only be following orders of the manager of the adjoining Celebration Club who had instructed him to put up the notice.
Nahid Khan was particularly agitated demanding who gave anybody the right to dictate terms on a “public garden”… only to be reconciled, like Nafisa Sayed to use a nearby park where a nominal entry fee is charged. Bapu Rane sagely observed that the idea was to discourage use of the Garden so that some builder could take over. But Shekhawat was not giving up easily. Quoting a Rajasthani proverb, he said that if you don’t let sleeping dogs lie, you are only purchasing trouble and he would see the end of it.
Eventually, it was Jagmohan Papneja (lead pic) who brought an end to it. Throughout the exercises, while we debated on the next plan of action, Papneja was on his cell phone making calls to the adjoining Club. In the end, he managed to get an elderly gentleman (side pic) to pay us a visit and soothe tempers. The latter came in, removed that offensive paper from the Notice Board and apologized, saying it was just a “typing error” which deserved to be ignored. Big deal!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Members were pleased at the timely action taken by Mr Kishen Lal Arora, a Managing Committee member of Celebration Club in restoring the timing of Garden No 4. His professionalism, courtesy, grasp of the situation and quick decision in handling the sensitive issue was quite admirable. Our thanks to the Managing Committee of Celebration Club.

Christmas 2012

So it was time to do a “Ho-ho-ho” a la Santa Claus. But we also did the “Ha-ha-ha”. With the good wishes of 'Santa Monthi' (left pic), we went on to do the “Ho-ho Ha-ha” as well. And furthermore, at the instance of Srichand Arora, we raised an extra laugh today – bursting into a joyous, full-throated “Ha-ha-ha-ha” at the end of the exercises. Merry Christmas everyone!
Monthi Serrao ushered in the Christmas spirit at the Garden by sending us a box of plum cake and a packet of luddoos. She obviously had her church obligations last night and this evening, she has a plane to catch for a year-end holiday in Sri Lanka. So busy with last-minute packing, she deputed Mrs Harbans Singh with all the goodies – luddoos for the vegans and cake for the eggitarians. It was a thoughtful gesture (how come no one thought of this before?) as a pasty tasteless “eggless cake”, especially on Christmas, would have ruined everything. So it did not come as any surprise when proclaimed vegetarians were seen digging into the box for those wonderful eggy cake slices. In fact, there were hardly any takers for the luddoos (bottom pic).
The only regret though, was that we could not thank Monthi in person. While some conveyed their gratitude “by proxy” through Mrs Singh, others like Kishor Babani sent a “cc” (as they do in e-mail messages). But it must be said to Monthi’s credit, were it not for her generosity, the essential values Christianity upholds in making us better persons would have escaped us. For “Christmas is forever, not for just one day,” as Norman Brooks famously wrote. “Loving, sharing and giving are not to be put away like bells and light and tinsel in some box upon a shelf. The good you do for others is good you do to yourself.” Thank you indeed, Monthi. And Merry Christmas once again!
Bhaswati Bose:
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way/ Santa Monthi's cakes have truly made our day!
Jagmohan Papneja:
* Monthi-ji, thank you very much for the delicious plum cake. It was just what we wanted and were looking forward to. Your thoughtfulness has brought us great joy. Our warm wishes to you and your family for a Merry Christmas.
* Merry Christmas to all the readers of BIG LAAF.

Rendered Speechless

Kishor and Renu Babani returned to the Garden after a holiday. And Harish Wadhwa has left – for Jaipur. Nafisa Sayyad came, but Razia Khan did not. Ved Prakash Grover came, but Arun Patil did not. Geeta Sardhana came, but Harbans Singh did not. Bapu Rane came, but Srichand Arora did not... And Pratap Bhatt called early morning from Melbourne, just to say, “Bhaloo Toh?”
Shekhawat also came (right pic), but could hardly speak. With great difficulty, he could just about manage a weak croak – which was essentially to convey that he had been down with fever after having one too many. Oddly enough, nobody was buying that. He is supposed to be a veteran in all varieties of the bubbly and being indisposed after imbibing an extra chilled beer on a winter evening somehow did not ring true. The only possibility, according to Nafisa, was that someone had attempted to throttle him at night. And that person would be none other than the chudail from his village. After his recent trip to Rajasthan, she has obviously followed him to Mumbai to torment him!
But then, Shekhawat is a gentleman and none of us would ever like to see him in distress. So as expected, everyone turned into a self-styled doctor prescribing a home remedy for his hoarse throat – from chewing tulsi leaves and ginger to gargling with warm water and salt to gulping down a concoction of milk and turmeric to taking a swig of brandy, or better still, rum or whiskey with molasses...
The prescriptions came fast and furious till Shekhawat was left completely speechless at the end of it all. When he left the Garden, he could not even croak!
Jagmohan Papneja:
* Whatever is happening in the group with the changing tide of life, you never miss the opportunity to tell how much everyone means to us.

Day 864

Pic of the Week

OUR MAN ON A SECRET MISSION!

* "Kahin yeh woh toh nahin...???" --Bhaswati Bose

* "Yeh khoobsurat hasina apne layak shauhar ki talaash kar rahi hai. Hai koi jawan mard, jo mujhse nikaah kare?" --Kishor Babani

* * Khuda ka shukr hai, ek chehra nazar toh aaya hai...
Yeh chashma nigaahon pe, kis brand ka lagaya hai?
* Life is beautiful... Everything should not be told or shown because there is something to be felt. --Jagmohan Papneja

* Ek ko chhod, baki sab ko toh pehchana - Ladkiyan hain, but yeh burkey mein open face kaun hai? Batao toh jaaney! --Srichand Arora

* Parde ke peeche kaun hai? --Renu Babani

Homing Pigeons

Pleasant morning with mellow sunshine. Many have started wearing woollens to counter the cool, wintry breeze in the Garden. But for Mumtaz Jahan, it was unbearably hot. Having just returned from Kashmir (she was away for more than three months), she needed time to adjust to the difference in climatic conditions. Looking thoroughly flushed (left pic), she informed that the whole of Jammu and Kashmir was covered in a sheet of snow the time she left. “From the aircraft, the Valley looked to be shining like silver,” she said. “I could see only barf hi barf!”
Mrs Harbans Singh also marked her return this morning – she being away to Ludhiana for about a month. Before leaving, she had treated us to the most sumptuous and sinfully tasty halwa ever imaginable for her birthday. And now that she is back, she came with another surprise – neatly-wrapped dry-sweet cubes in different flavours and encrusted with nuts (side pic). None of us had ever seen anything like that in Mumbai, far less taste them. In fact, the moment she was done with distributing them, a mad scramble followed for the left-overs. And if that was not enough, she had lovely, crispy Ludhiana biscuits to go along with the sweets – which Monthi Serrao helped distribute (bottom pic) for her.
All we can say is that the lady has style. No wonder Bapu Rane was so overjoyed on seeing Mrs Singh that he had got his Marathi and Hindi mixed up. “Aapko aaj hi yaad nikala!” he blurted out, by way of greeting her.
Now, this leaves Santosh Tyagi only. She should be returning any time now from Delhi.
Post Script: Word has just come in that Razia Khan's condition has worsened over the past 24 hours (see yesterday's post). It is a kidney stone problem. She had been admitted to Kokilaben Hospital and thereafter, shifted to Pooja Nursing Home in Jogeshwari -- under care of a specialist. Her phones have been switched off and it appears that the family is with her in the hospital. Let us all join them in prayer for her early recovery.
Harish Wadhwa:
Thanks so much Mrs Harbans Singh, for the lovely sweets and cookies from 'the' Ludhiana. I still maintain, Mrs Singh de haathon banaye aate-de-halwe da jawaab nahin.
Jagmohan Papneja:
A tale of three women:
Mumtaz-ji, We learnt of your Kashmir stay/ For more than words can say,
Harbans-ji, Nothing was more welcome/ Than those Ludhiana sweets have become.
Razia-ji, A cheerful get-well-soon wish especially to say/ BIG LAAF misses you everyday.
Bhaswati Bose:
So along with an in-house photographer and a singer, we can now also boast of having our own poet! Keep it up, Jagmohan-ji.

We’ve Survived

The world did not come to an end. And we have lived to see another day. Despite all the fear, hoopla, warnings and the prophesy of impending doom, everyone came smiling to the Garden for the exercises as usual... and the Mayan calendar be damned!
Still, not everyone was happy. Bapu Rane (right) cautioned that there was still the rest of the day to go for “the earth to crack open like a rotten baida (egg) and hot water to gush out like giant fountains and drown us” to kingdom come. He was quite disappointed that it did not happen as yet.
Ram Shankar Shukla (above left) had another theory. He insisted there would be a “big tsunami” – a term Sunita Jajodia could hardly fathom. When she was told that giant waves would sweep across to drown us all, she suggested we might as well go to Marine Drive Chowpatty to encounter the waves there and “doob maro”!
Nahid Khan (bottom, left) was equally sanguine that this was her last day on the planet, simply because Nafisa Sayyed had, for the first time, come to the Garden without “hubby” Razia Khan (bottom, right) in tow. This unusual development was good enough reason for the world to end, she said with total conviction.
Little did Nahid know that Razia is seriously ill with a stomach condition that had almost got her hospitalised last evening. She had returned from Pune with high fever and was rushed to Poonam Nursing Home, but she refused to be admitted. So now she is bed-ridden on doctor’s advice and will not be able stir out for one week.
Amid all the speculation on doomsday, there was Hari Singh Shekhawat who just could not be bothered about the world so long as he gets more passengers for the helicopter ride to Vaishno Devi. Like a man possessed, he went around collecting cash to book tickets for the trip which is scheduled on March 31, 2013.
And then there was Srichand Arora who got in the mood of conducting the exercises today in Sindhi – yes, Sindhi. Apart from Jagmohan Papneja, nobody understood a word of what he said – till Ramila Mistry turned her back to him and did her own number, oblivious to all else. Arora commented, “Sab bigad gaye!” only to have Nahid retort, “Bigadne ke liye hi toh hum yahaan aate hain!” Now what can anyone say to that?
Srichand Arora:
Dear Razia-ji, we all wish you the very best and an early recovery. None of us can afford to miss you for seven days. So please recover fast and be with us in the next four to five days.
Jagmohan Papneja:
* The doomsday forecast fizzled out yet again. This topic was discussed for chanting/ socializing.
* Razia-ji's illness is a matter of concern. I wish her speedy recovery. Get well soon, Razia-ji and return to the group.
Kishor Babani:
Get well soon Razia-ji.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Wish you a speedy recovery Razia-ji. I know of one proven cure for stomach ache: A generous helping of tikhat pani-puri and ragda petis (but taken under doctor's supervision only)!
* Women are women. Despite the hovering fear of Doomsday, they can be seen smiling and posing -- more so, Ramila-ji and Geeta-ji striking a filmi model pose!

Happy Family

Harish Wadhwa did not have to stick out like a sore thumb today during the exercises (check yesterday’s post). He had remembered to bring his cap. More importantly, Geeta Sardhana also wore her cap – though it was accompanied by some ceremony as her hair was getting entangled in the velcro fastening. Khatoon Baig and Qadeer Bano were only too eager to assist her (pic alongside) since this was an event by itself. Never before had Geeta Sardhana worn the Club cap to the Garden.
This puts to rest an issue that had been needlessly blown out of proportion over the past few months. With Geeta adamant in her resolve not to wear the cap and also refusing to buckle under pressure, she was seen to be setting a "bad example" in the Club, thereby creating much unpleasantness and bickering among members. That she happens to be the ‘rakhi sister' of Srichand Arora – the very person who has been at pains to enforce the ‘cap rule’ – further aggravated matters. Things had reached a head and suddenly, she found herself isolated.
Fortunately all that has been brought to a happy closure as Geeta posed for a photo-op (lead pic) wearing her cap to celebrate the moment. All’s well that ends well!
Harish Wadhwa:
Geeta-ji must have enjoyed the pampering and special attention by other lady members, who were all keen to pose with her for this pic. Wah! Kya scene hai... with so many topi-waliyaan.
Bhaswati Bose:
...and everyone lives happily ever after!
Jagmohan Papneja:
I am glad the issue has been settled on a cordial note with a happy ending. Do you know the sense of pride I felt this morning? I was proud because everyone did the exercises with cap in place.
Kishor Babani (in absentia, right):
Kudos to Arora-ji for instilling discipline in our Club. His constant nagging for every member to wear the Club cap has finally paid off.

All Caps!

Srichand Arora (left) must have been a very happy man today. Many moons ago he had observed a group of early risers in Singapore, exercising silently, in unison on a patch of green. What made for a spectacular sight was that they were all wearing the same caps, which gave them a sense of uniformity – of belongingness, commonality of purpose and above all, identity. Since that day, it has been Arora’s dream to transpose that ethos into our Club.
Today he realised that dream. For once, all members who turned up for the exercises had, without exception, their caps on. We did not realise the impact it had created till people on the Walking Track kept stopping by to gape at us – as though this was the first time they were seeing us. It was almost like history being created in the Garden.
But this has not been easy. The caps were introduced last April and since then, there has been consistent resistance from a section of the Club. If one spoke of hair-loss upon wearing the cap, another argued that it caused migraine while a third pleaded amnesia and fourth insisted on feeling uncomfortable... No amount of requesting and reminding, coaxing and cajoling worked, till suddenly the miracle occurred today.
It was only towards the end that Harish Wadhwa showed up, capless – closely followed by Vijay Gupta (a non-member) – and they were made to stand in the middle and conduct the second laughter session (right pic). Effectively, history was created for the second time today. For, never before have we had the benefit of two ‘teachers’ conducting the same exercises simultaneously!
Harish Wadhwa:
Gupta-ji and I kind of enjoyed the punishment of conducting the second laughter session today. Hope all others had a good time too.
Jagmohan Papneja:
In spite of the claim, we had fallen short of creating history in the end. But, as a self-disciplined group, all members will keep the spirit aloft by wearing the cap and take pride in it.

Another Flare-up!

Close on the heels of the flare-up last Saturday, the Club witnessed another showdown – this time over Geeta Sardhana’s refusal to wear her cap during the exercises. It was otherwise a pleasant morning with near 100 per cent compliance on this count. The new member, Qadeer Bano was ‘ceremonially crowned’ (bottom left pic) with Srichand Arora having interrupted his exercises to hastily procure a cap for her from home. And that was when trouble broke out.
Bose Babu objected to Geeta elbowing her way up to do the honours because, in being the "most indisciplined member", she had lost the "moral right" to put a cap on any person. Her utter contempt towards discipline had caused considerable embarrassment and dissension within the Club and it was time someone told her so.
Geeta actually had it coming. Earlier in the morning, Arora had appealed to everyone to put some good sense in “the lady” -- to get over her disobedient and defiant attitude. Sunita Jajodia was the first to take it up and Geeta arrogantly cut her down in English. Razia Khan was next and she too was snubbed in front of everybody. So this time, when she (Geeta) complained of “being insulted”, the seniors came down upon her like a ton of bricks.
Completely isolated, Geeta defended herself saying she felt “uncomfortable” wearing the cap. This was seen as a lame excuse because others had complained of far more serious problems like hair-fall and headache and yet, in the interest of Club discipline, they wore the cap regularly. Shekhawat and Arora stressed (lead pic) that there was nothing personal against her and like all others, she ought to also wear the cap.
When she still refused to relent, Ved Prakash Grover (right) advised Geeta to either fall in line or else, she was free to leave. “Chhor doh ka matlab?” Geeta charged.
“Club chhor doh,” Grover said simply and walked away.
“Who are YOU to tell me to leave?” Geeta thundered – again in English.
All this while Yusuf Rassiwala stood with a bemused look, only to ask from where all the “josh” had come in everyone. Well, must HE be the one to ask... after all that happened last Saturday?!?
Jagmohan Papneja:
Self discipline is most needed and a useful skill everyone must possess. Though most people acknowledge this, members like Arora and Bose are doing something to strengthen it. I thank them in their endeavour.
Arun Patil:
Wah bhai wah! Kya blog hai!!!
Harish Wadhwa:
Arun bhai,kahiyye kya nok-jhonk hai... reading this blog.

All’s Forgotten

It was still dark when we started this morning’s session. The introductory ‘Ram-Ram Bol’ incantation had just ended and as Shekhawat took charge for the laughter exercises, ‘Unglimaster Subbu’ (of Kolaveri Di fame) emerged from the darkness and insisted on conducting a brief bhajan session. Not one to refuse, Shekhawat allowed him to lead a raucous rendition of ‘Govinda-Gopala’ (side pic)... till all the crows in the trees flew away in fright and we were back on course.
If morning shows the day, well, this was very much needed. For, after the acrimonious meeting last Saturday (see post), everybody was looking for some peace and solace today. Yusuf Rassiwala, in particular, deliberately played down his role in the fracas, even as some of the ladies complimented him for his “courage” on taking a principled stand at the meeting. Clearly, he had won the admiration of many, including several male members.
But then, it was generally felt not to rake up the past and move on. Monthi Serrao too did not persist with her grouse on being prevented from having her say at the meeting (because of the noise and pandemonium) and instead, took a positive view for the future. She felt it was time we have a get-together once in a month – perhaps after the exercises when we could play Housie on the cemented platform in the Garden. Arora, for his part, urged that the options for registration of the Club should now be explored in right earnest.
Meanwhile, Qadir Bano treated us to anjeer ki barfi (pic alongside) upon being formally elected to the Club last Saturday. But the bigger event was Kajal Babani’s birthday celebration with doting hubby Dilip presenting her with a crimson rose (above right) -- before distributing biscuit packets to all. It was a joyous morning marked by strains of ‘Happy Birthday to You’, unending laughter, applause and of course, unbridled tomfoolery. Once again, many happy returns of the day, Kajal!
Rutsss:
I regularly read the blog -- morning sessions and all. It's so energetic and fresh. Nice group. God bless you all and may you spread laughter always!
Harish Wadhwa:
* Like always, I missed my share of the goodies. No problems. I know my well-wishers will compensate some day!
* Very Happy Birthday, Kajal-ji. May you have many, many such great years and birthdays ahead.
* I am sure somebody must have had my share of the anjeer ki barfi which Qadeer ji had got.
Bhaswati Bose:
Happy Birthday, Kajal! You have to get older, but you don't have to grow up! Have a great time.
Jagmohan Papneja:
* Happy Birthday, Kajal-ji. You are not getting older. You are getting better with Laughter Yoga.
* I had only my share of anjeer-ki-barfi and also the namkeen seiv that Qadir Bano-ji distributed. THANKS for setting a good example. A good example is the best sermon.
Anonymous:
Me gustaria poder hablar contigo personalmente. es una delicia.
(Translated from Spanish: "I wish I could speak to you personally. It would be a delight.")

Day 857

Pic of the Week

INTERNATIONAL DON: The police are still looking out for her the world over!

* Hamare BHAI ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai! --Bhaswati Bose

* Zara dekho kaun aa gaya hai /Zamaane pe jo chha gaya hai! --Jagmohan Papneja

* Wish all the dons, the world over, were as attractive as her! Wouldn't mind joining her gang. --Anonymous

* Mein toh darr gaya. Aye maa tujhe salaam! --Kishor Babani

* "Mut samajhna ki ankhiyon se goli maare... Maine toh issi gun se border paar dushmano ke chhakke chhuda diye!" --Srichand Arora

* Nice-looking female bodyguards were once part of the ex-Libyan leader’s brigade. But this is an extra good-looking Nahid-ji, donning lipstick, nail polish and a gold finger ring. Maybe our Managing Committee can look into utilising her services for General Body meetings. Good picture of Nahid-ji in a tough role! --Harish Wadhwa

* As-Salāmu `Alaykum to Smiling Assassin! --Anonymous

* "Ankhinyon se goli maare! Ab tak paanch sau pachpan -- pachpan bandook se, paanch sau ankhiyon se!!!" -- Arun Patil

Sound and Fury

It was an unusual meeting, as ‘general bodies’ go. Evenly divided – 11 males, 11 females – we should have ideally formed two teams and gone out playing football, cricket, hockey… or whatever. Instead, the Badmaash Company did the first good deed in its history by sponsoring the tea and biscuits, little expecting that it would inflame passions and lead to wanton fireworks in the meeting.
Suddenly Yusuf Rassiwala (right pic) sprung up from his seat, accusing Hem Chand Jain of playing a “double game” when the motion for registration of the Club was put to vote. Till then, all went well with Monthi Serrao (treasurer) having presented her report on bank accounts peacefully. Neelam Garg though tried to put spokes in the wheel, even questioning the rationale behind generating funds. It was generally overlooked as a weak attempt by an irregular member anxious to make her presence noticed. But Yusuf’s flare-up caught everyone unawares. He charged Jain of being an “unprincipled person” who had no business to be in the meeting when he could “lift his right hand in favour of a motion and soon after, lift his left hand to oppose the motion”.
With cries for “Issko nikaalo yahaan se” drowning the proceedings, Jain went charging at Yusuf, denying all allegations and making some counter-allegations. Razia Khan (joint secretary) appealed for everyone to resume their seats if they were to be taken on record. Even Khatoon Baig tried to raise her voice above the din. Clearly, nobody had seen Yusuf so livid with rage. Shekhawat (president) and Arora (secretary) tried in vain to restore order (bottom pic)while Harish Wadhwa, funnily had to be on his toes performing a little waltz while placing himself strategically between the “warring bulls”, lest they get physical. Ultimately Jain declared that he cannot promise to be regular for the exercises (as he has to travel on business) and it did not matter whether the Club retained or expelled him.
In all the acrimony and pandemonium, one positive outcome was that we have a new member now in Qadeer Bano (top left). On the flip side though, the Sports Day scheduled for December 22 at Borivali National Park (yesterday's post) has been successfully scuttled. Moral of the story: Never accept tea and biscuits from the Badmaash Company.
Jagmohan Papneja:
* The morning incident was unfortunate and unexpected. It should not have happened. Mr Yusuf Rassiwala is a man of integrity, uprightness and principles. It is said: "In the confrontation between the stream and a rock, the stream always wins -- not by strength, but perseverance".
* In the melee, my poetry did not find any mention!

Borivali Revived

After days of dilly-dallying, finally a call has been taken to go ahead with the Sports Day (see post of November 30) at Sanjay Gandhi National Park, Borivali on Saturday, December 22, 2012. The event will be open to all members and their families.
Hari Singh Shekhawat has meanwhile made inquiries for booking a 32-seater bus to and fro and according to his calculations the cost per head should not exceed Rs300. This will include the bus fare, lunch and refreshments during the day, entrance fees to the Park and incidentals. Prizes to winners of various sporting disciplines would be paid for out of the Club’s funds.
By and large, an informal ‘delegation of responsibilities’ towards organizing this event has also been worked out. While Arun Patil will take care of logistical details, Harish Wadhwa shall be in charge of organizing the competitions and Monthi Serrao will decide on the prizes. Shekhawat and Srichand Arora shall oversee all arrangements.
Renu Babani:
Travelling to Amritsar, 15 early morning. Returning 21 evening. Will meet on 23rd (Sunday) since you guys are heading for a picnic on 22nd. Have a blast!
Jagmohan Papneja:
It is a matter of pleasure that our club has finally decided to organize the Sports Day. This will give us a chance to revive our sense of competition. Hope shortly it will be revealed the nature of sports/ games to be conducted so that we can practice the same.

House on Fire

Within a day of rejoining, Shekhawat (right) has become “bad boy”. And the best part was he didn’t have to try too hard to earn this sobriquet. In fact, he was so lost within himself today that he was getting everything wrong during the exercises. Let alone be observant and get sequencing right, he was continually missing his cues -- “Kissa kursi ka”, “Rane jahan pe bhi ho…” At one point Nafisa Sayyed caught him wildly swinging his arms like a windmill when he was supposed to be doing a breast stroke (swimming exercise). Promptly Yusuf Rassiwala (left) advised her to ignore Shekhawat: “He is a bad boy!”
Yusuf and Shekhawat, together make for a combustible combination. And the rest would then get going like a house on fire – what with Srichand Arora absent today, Sunita Jajodia in a tearing hurry as always and Yusuf determined to take things at his own pace. He courteously greeted every late-comer, engaged in small talk, complimented Bose for breathing correct (!), got Razia Khan to ‘divorce’ an over-talkative Nafisa with a triple talaaq, ticked off Sunita for consuming excess mirchi today, even got Ramila Mistry (right) to revert to her maun vrat… And still, when he pulled her up for talking, he had Ramila charging, claws drawn, screaming her head out with a ferocious “Yehhhhhhh”!
Arora’s absence today proved a major disappointment for some ladies who had come prepared to adopt him as their brother (see yesterday’s post) – if only to be exempt from wearing the Club cap like Geeta Sardhana. They even had a slogan ready: “Behen ko badal daalo!” Sunita, for one, had brought a red band for a rakhi out of sheer desperation.
And then there was Kiran Sajjan (left) who had become so absent-minded during the Medium Laughter round that she started flinging her arms in the air with a loud “Huh”. Bhaswati Bose (right) reminded her that she ought to be rubbing her finger tips together and grin, saying “Yehhhh”. “Beeeeeee…” Kiran replied, obediently mirroring the act. “Ceeeeeee…” Bhaswati said rubbing the finger tips. “Deeeeee…” Kiran continued, displaying her teeth. “Eeeeeee…” Bhaswati continued to engage her.
By then, everyone had fallen silent, staring at the duo in utter disbelief. Nice way to learn the alphabet!
Harish Wadhwa:
Despite the brickbats, all the people mentioned appear to be smiling, laughing and happy. That's the spirit of Big Laaf.
Jagmohan Papneja:
In fact, it is Yusuf-bhai who adds flavour to life. He is like cream is to cake!

12.12.12

So today was the 12th day of the 12th month of the 12th year of the century – a day Nahid Khan had been warning us about for the past few mornings. But surprisingly this morning, she had clean forgotten about the date, till Vijay Bhai jokingly greeted her from the walking track, “12.12.12. Mubarak!” Nahid then realised that it could be a good day after all and was further reassured by Bapu Rane’s grand prophesy: “Any chhokra born today would become panth pradhan (prime-minister)”. But she was soon to be disillusioned when told that today also happened to be Chaudas Amavasya, an inauspicious day by the Hindu almanac that had led to the rescheduling of many planned births and marriages in the city.
Be that as it may, it was the day when Hari Singh Shekhawat returned to the Garden – fresh from a trip to Rajasthan (bottom pic) and made his first announcement on the General Body Meeting scheduled this Saturday (yesterday’s post). It was also a day when much was made of having to compulsorily wear caps during the exercises, with the sole exception of Geeta Sardhana (left). So what used to be talked of in hushed tones today came out in the open with at least three ladies threatening to also flout the rule. They entreated Srichand Arora to also make them his sisters, so that like Geeta, they could get away by not wearing the cap.
Fact is, Arora has been requesting all members with folded hands (including Geeta) to wear the cap with a sense of belongingness and pride. Nothing but respect for the man made everyone fall in line and those who took time to do so were pulled up (in good humour though). Today, Geeta is being cited as the main cause for vitiating the Club’s disciplined atmosphere with even Ved Prakash Grover now turning rebellious: “If I were to be the brother of a VIP, I too would be exempted from wearing the cap.” Like Geeta, he too complains of discomfort – if not headache and hair fall, the way many others do. In all this, only one person is being put to needless embarrassment – Geeta’s own rakhi brother.
Jagmohan Papneja:
TITANIC had rammed into an iceberg on 12.12.1912. That is why some people believe 12.12.12 to be an inauspicious date. But I feel no such thing will happen for the next 100 years. Big Laaf will laugh as ever!
(Sorry to correct you, sir: The sinking of the RMS Titanic occurred on the night of April 14 through to the morning of April 15, 1912 in the north Atlantic.)