Day 2821

Pic of the Week

Quick, give a suitable caption! 
(pic by Geeta Latte)

Oye Bijoy Babu, aapka dhyan kidhar hai? Pushpa Gupta-ji ki dukan idhar hai. --Karun Sharma

'Dekho roothha na karo, baat najron ki suno/ Hum na bolenge kabhi, tum sataaya na karo...' --Bihari Milwani

Repeat Birthday

Happy Birthday, Shekhawat

It was Shekhawat’s birthday today. But he was nowhere to be seen. So we celebrated Karun Sharma’s birthday instead. This was more in the nature of ‘unfinished business’ because somehow, nobody appeared happy at the way he celebrated on February 23 (see post). He distributed roses and received his birthday calendar from Bhaswati Bose.
Karun Sharma’s low-key celebration had something to do with the Pulwama massacre of February 14.

Karun Sharma (in pink tee) with some of the guests at today's bash

But many lady members like Zarina Khan, Fehmida Khan, etc. would have none of it and it was at their instance that Karun Sharma had to send out fresh invites and celebrated his birthday once again, today.
Karun’s son, Madhur was there (as he usually is at every celebration). In fact, he had laid the ground so that when we trooped out after the exercises, there were warm soups, juices and vegetable extracts waiting for us at the Gate. It was a sumptuous treat for the health conscious as only Karun Sharma could have imagined.
Meanwhile, we are awaiting news of Shekhawat’s return from his village in Rajasthan. He was supposed to be back today, but looks like he has got delayed somewhere. Before leaving, he had told us he would report for the exercises on April 29. Thereafter, he would take a call on when, how and where he shall be celebrating his birthday with us.
Till then, here’s wishing him many happy returns of the day.

Karun Sharma:
Thank you so much, my Big Laaf family. It was fun to be around with friends and food.

House Warming

Banoo Apa (l) treats us to bhel and nimbu pani

After yesterday's no-show, today's was a face saver

There seems to be some truth in the general perception of our daily attendance being dependent on the possibility of someone hosting a party/ treat on any given day. How this works out is however, a mystery.
Banoo Apa did not tell anyone that she would be coming to the Garden today and giving us a treat. But somehow, the indications were in the air and accordingly, we witnessed a fairly decent turnout – enough to keep the exercises going.
Yesterday, in the absence of any such indication, we were faced with a virtual no-show. The exercises had to be scrapped (see post). A day earlier, it was Bijoy Gupta’s birthday bash and again, we had a fairly large gathering. Just one day prior, the pendulum had swung back to rock bottom because there was no treat in the works.
Banoo Apa’s treat of crispy bhel and chilled nimbu-pani this morning was as novel as it was refreshing. We are all aware that she had shifted to a new address in Goregaon and in a sense, this was her house warming treat of sorts.
“Take this as my house-warming party by the footpath,” Banoo Apa declared cheerfully, making light of the rudimentary arrangements for hosting a morning treat. “But please don’t complain, I intend to have a proper house warming party once I’ve settled in.”
Nobody was complaining. We fully appreciate what it takes to shift lock, stock and barrel in peak summer and that too, after having lived at a place for over a decade. Nobody at our age does this, given a choice – more so, when there’s no helping hand around.
Banoo Apa has been at it quietly, all by herself. She may have moved into her new home a week back, but the process of packing/ unpacking household knick-knacks has been going on for over a month. “I need to take sleeping pills before going to bed and then I tend to oversleep next morning,” she says.
This explains why Banoo Apa is unable to be regular at the Garden these days.

Karun Sharma:
Today I accompanied Banoo Apa to her old house. She is a lively lady. We talked a lot about Gair Area in the mountains which was not ruled by any country. This was news to me. I am sure she will make many friends wherever she goes.

Bihari Milwani:
Why serve chilled nimbu-pani when everyone has come for the house warming party?

Morning Wasted

Exercises Abandoned: Our patch in the Garden wore a deserted look 

Our worst fears were confirmed today. However, what we did not expect was that this should happen so soon – even before the monsoon had set in.
“This is the first time the exercises have been cancelled due to lack of members,” said Rukhsana Khan, the second to arrive in the Garden. “Where is everybody? Did they eat so much at Gupta’s party yesterday as not to be able to wake up in the morning?”
The real reason for abandoning the exercises today was that those who have been flagging off the exercises every day were almost entirely absent.
Kiran Prakash sent word early morning that he had "urgent work" to attend at home. Nahid Khan was away since yesterday at Mumbai Central for a family wedding. Bijoy Gupta is of course, down with viral fever. Shekhawat is not in town. Yusuf Rassiwala has still not recovered from debilitating weakness...
But to the Garden at large, we had become a laughing stock.

If only they had all come on time...

A dark, fat man waddled up to ask why we were not exercising these days, only to be snubbed by Siba Prasad Maitra: “Not these days, but today only.” He ran away without uttering a word.
He was followed by another stranger, sporting a sheepish grin: “Hope everything is alright… So why are you not exercising?” He tried hard to look worried, even concerned -- as though we were in mourning -- but his smile gave him away.
Only Navin Bhai was upfront when he volunteered to take us on a guided tour of the Garden: “Good! You people needed a break. Come with me and I will walk you round the Garden. You haven’t seen the Garden all these years.”
By then Bhaswati Bose, Naseem Khan, Karun Sharma and Bihari Milwani had turned up and even did a cameo of the end-claps and prayers, little realising they were only drawing more attention to themselves.
If only they had been punctual, this cameo would have been wholly unnecessary. We would not have wasted our morning and the exercises could be held in dignity from start to finish. But what can be said when the virus is so deep set that these days, late-comers have come to outnumber the regulars?

Bihari Milwani:
It is time we learned how to do solo laughter exercises. We shall never be disappointed.

Diamond Jubilee

Happy Birthday, BIJOY GUPTA

A diamond jubilee is a landmark event. It is all the more significant in our club where life and living is celebrated every day.

Naseem Khan (in red) presents the birthday calenday

But sadly, this was not to be with Bijoy Gupta, who turned 75 this day last year.
He was in mourning. His daughter had just passed away.
Gupta allowed his diamond jubilee celebration to bypass him and all he did to oblige us was stand stoically (ref post of April 24, 2018) and receive his birthday calendar from the Club.

Party troopers to Hi Point

Even his wife, Pushpa was not by his side.
This time around, Gupta almost made up for what he missed last year – or so it seemed today.

Pushpa presents the crystal trophy

So enthusiastic was he that although his wife had not fully recovered from a viral attack, he made sure she was present for the watershed event. In fact, he admitted to being also struck by the bug this morning but had “gulped down a couple of Crocins” before coming to the Garden.
Furthermore, Gupta insisted this to be his diamond jubilee proper because he “completes 75 years today” and would step into his 76th tomorrow. And so, in deference to his sentiments (and bidding), Naseem Khan presented him his birthday calendar on behalf of the Club while, wife Pushpa handed him a glittering crystal glass trophy to mark the occasion.
It was a morning full of joy and laughter, replete with the birthday song, risqué jokes, filmy ditties (one by Naseem) and much backslapping all the way up to Hi Point restaurant in Lokhandwala Market. Kiran Prakash had shown us the way to this place the other day.

After a memorable birthday bash... warm cuppa tea (Pic by Geeta Latte) 

As it was then, the breakfast fare was mainly South Indian fare -- idli-dosa, vada-sambar and hot tea.
But then, in the end, the strain of all the excitement was beginning to show on Gupta. He looked exhausted. Another major dampener was the absence of some key members who Gupta counted as his well-wishers -- Shekhawat, Banoo Apa and Yusuf Rassiwala. At the same time, he was reluctant about postponing the birthday bash to a later date. "What is the point of having a birthday celebration if you do not celebrate on the birthday itself," he maintained. "There is no fun in having a party later." We wish Gupta once again, many happy returns of the day.

Born Behind Time

Braving the mid-summer heat

Rukhsana Khan made a blistering attack on Bijoy Gupta this morning. “Why weren't you born one day earlier?” she demanded. “You should have been born on today’s date. We could then have celebrated your birthday today itself tabiyat se!”
Her tone and tenor caught Gupta off-guard. But he soon regained his composure realising the intent behind charge. There were just six people who turned up for the exercises today – three men and three women.
“We would have eaten twice our share, even thrice, and there would still be enough to go by,” Zarina Khan explained. “Tomorrow, just watch out. People who have nothing to do with exercising will show up in full strength. They know it is your birthday.”
There are many hilarious tales about the club's party raiders – especially those who habitually turn up late and of course, the famous last comers – but out of politeness, nobody raises this in their presence. Gupta merely smiled, knowing well who the usual suspects are.
Suddenly he changed the subject to his wife. “Pushpa is not keeping well,” he informed. “Since yesterday, she has been running high fever. It was her idea to have my Diamond Jubilee celebration on a big scale, but now I doubt if she’ll be able to make it tomorrow. Let us hope for the best.”

Bihari Milwani:
I can understand stepfather, step father-in-law, stepmother, step mother-in-law... But I cannot understand how a husband can laugh (as in the laughter exercises) when his wife is not well!!!

DAY 2815

Pic of the Week

The day China Hut was packed to the rafters

Older students look more attentive. --Angad Singh

Late-comers please stand outside the class. His Highness Mr Kiran Prakash is explaining the importance of punctuality. --Bihari Milwani

Perfect Plate

Kiran Prakash (standing) conducts the symposium

Is the western diet better than Indian? Why do we become fat? What is the best time of the day to have fruits? I like aloo-parathas, should I be worried?
Sakina Hashmi fielded these questions (and more) like a seasoned pro at the symposium held today on Should we Live to Eat, or Eat to Live? In the process,

Sakina Hashmi

she also busted a few myths – like the one on combining non-veg food with milk products such as curd. “No, you don’t get leucoderma that way?” she smiled.
Earlier in the morning, Kiran Prakash introduced Sakina to us with a brief description of her academic background from Canada (ref post of April 15). As anchor, he also laid down the ground roles for the symposium: one, not more than one question would be taken per person (so that everybody gets a chance); and two,

On the sidelines of the symposium

Sakina is not a doctor but a dietician. “So please don’t expect her to prescribe any medicines.”
The bulk of the questions were on expected lines -- age-related issues such as cardio-vascular complications and diabetes. Santosh Tyagi had an unusual query

The Guptas, Pushpa and Bijoy are all ears

on the capacity of the liver to regenerate while Banoo Apa was looking for a diet plan, now that she is 90 per cent vegan and 10 per cent non-veg.
As a votary of “living to eat”, Sakina came up with several options for what she described as a perfect plate. “In our profession, the word ‘balance’ is critical. Eat whatever you like, but keep it balanced. We all want a balanced diet, don’t we? Check your portion size. Only then would our body be able to release pleasure hormones.”
Sakina added that Indian food is infinitely so colourful and vibrant that there is no need to go in for burgers or patties, or any junk food. “Western dieticians are now looking into Indian eating habits and incorporating elements into their dietary regimen,” she informed.

Photo Op: For the record

Karun Sharma:
Sakina is competent and confident for her age. We gained a lot of knowledge that would help us attain good health and reduce weight and disease. Many thanks to her for demonstrating a professional approach. Kiran-ji was excellent in introducing and anchoring the session.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Those who attended the symposium were lucky to learn about healthy eating habits. There would be quite a few who missed the opportunity to listen to Sakina. For their benefit, it would be ideal to give a gist of the symposium proceedings so that they may also pick up a few important lessons.

Split Personalities

Yusuf Rassiwala (c) reminds us of the symposium tomorrow

The morning heat is relentless

Whatever anyone might say about the health benefits of exercising every morning, there remains one undeniable fact: We have all developed a mental disorder -- schizophrenia. We are not what we appear to be. During those 60-odd minutes in the Garden, we lose touch with reality. The way we think, feel and behave is in sharp contrast to our real selves. And this has been happening for the past 15 years or so.
Nobody exemplifies this split personality better than Shekhawat, arguably the oldest member of the Club. This man is completely unrecognisable at home. Stern and aloof, he plays his role as the family patriarch (in fact, he is great-great-grandfather) to the hilt – a far cry from the jack-in-the-box prankster we have known him as.
His bosom pal, Bijoy Gupta is no different. From the jocular, motor-mouth in half pants we encounter every morning in the Garden, he turns into a serious, immaculately dressed, even intimidating man of few words when he meets you at home. It would seem as if you are meeting another person – his twin brother probably.
But then, it must be said that these Jekyll and Hyde ‘switch-on switch-offs’ are forced by circumstances. Everyone is a parent or grandparent, an elder who must not only command respect but also set an example at home. Banoo Apa or Nahid Khan cannot afford to engage in the same level of leg-pulling and jokes at home when there are grandchildren

Naheed Siddiqui

looking up to them.
Likewise, Zarina Khan or Fahmida Khan may take liberties with her friends, but within the family, she must remain restrained. This is only natural. We cannot expect Rukhsana Khan to curse her folks with getting bald and losing their teeth, the way she does with us. She must perforce be at her best behaviour at home, like the rest of us.
It is only at the Garden that we are able to let our hair down and the world be damned. This is the least we owe ourselves.
Post Script: This post was prompted by Naheed Siddiqui, who suddenly stopped the exercises today and went around saying 'Clunk', 'Clunk', 'Clunk'... Turns out she was asking if someone would give her company for the Hindi film, Kalank. Point is, would Naheed Siddiqui behave like this at any place outside the Garden?

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd)
The real life is one where your own real self is relieved without hindrance. When we come to the Garden for exercise, there are two aims in view. Firstly, relax and enjoy. We all members are free to indulge in activities which we have been enjoying for over a long period. We talk sense or nonsense without hesitation but within certain decency. Secondly, we do the exercises which keep us fit and agile. Whenever, I have been in the garden it is the best time of the day which I have been enjoying all these years. In the home or in the presence of small children your outlook and behaviour is totally different. This is because of being an elder - patriarchal/matriarchal. If you behave in the same manner at home as in the garden you will be labelled a sync and the day is not far off when one is likely to be termed a psychic! Choice is yours.

Tall Tales

Fahmida Khan (standing) cooking up a new story

Bijoy Gupta is not the only laugh-a-minute comic around. He faces good competition from the likes of Zarina Khan, Rukhsana Khan, Razia Khan… And now we have Fahmida Khan topping them all.
Today she came up with a bizarre story to explain her absence yesterday. She said she had to make an urgent trip to Dubai. And she rushed up there and back within a day on a bicycle – yes, pedaling to and fro on bike!
That’s not all. She had been on a major shopping spree and returned with a lot of valuables, including gold biscuits. “But the customs have impounded everything, including the bike,” she complained.

Posters have come up on
Saturday's programme

“What am I to do now?”
It takes kilos of fertile imagination to conjure such outlandish stories – and that too, at the drop of a hat. This is Fahmida’s forte. She can get away screaming blue murder by the way she’d spin a yarn with a straight face, eventually making you doubt your own sanity.
But it is all in fun -- her favourite punching bag being close friend Zarina. Whether it is her panicking at the sight of a black cobra in the garden or a rebellious mule tossing her off its back on some picnic, trust Fahmida to add mirch masala that will leave you in splits.
The other day, she buttonholed Banoo Apa’s husband at the Garden gate. The man was on his way home, but for some inexplicable reason Fahmida needed to dissuade him from walking it all the way.
“There are a bunch of beautiful girls lying in wait as you turn the corner of the road,” she warned out of the blue. “They are notorious for ambushing men. You can never say what they might do. Forget the police, no power on earth can stop them… Seriously, I am very concerned for you.”
The gentleman of course, knew better than to believe her.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
The Sea God was waiting to devour Fahmida Khan. Luckily for her, he went to sleep when she crossed the Arabian Sea with gold biscuits!

Seminar Confirmed

Sakina (r) and Hussain (l) flank Yusuf Rassiwala

First the good news. Sakina Hashmi has consented to address the Club this Saturday on dietary dos and don’ts suited to seniors like us. Stemming from our interaction with her day-before-yesterday (ref post of April 15) the topic for discussion is being tentatively titled as ‘Should We Eat to Live OR Should We Live to Eat?’
All members are invited to pick Sakina’s brains at 8:00 a.m. on April 20 in the China Hut.
This would however, be more in the nature of a symposium, rather than seminar. Sakina will take questions from participants and share her knowledge on her chosen subject of academic specialisation. As mentioned in the earlier post, she is a qualified dietician having done her Masters in Human Nutrition from Montreal, Canada.
But more than the scholarly tag, what sets Sakina apart from run-of-the-mill dieticians is her ability to instinctively connect with the issue afflicting an individual. She carries her learning lightly. And that is what has endeared her to us. So when she showed up this morning for a round of badminton with her nephew, Hussain it felt like family.
Incidentally, there was no bad news today. Unlike yesterday (see post), the weather gods this morning were rather benign out of what Nahid Khan described as “sympathy” towards us. In fact, it was even breezy at times. But is the worst over? Nothing can be said till June, when monsoon is expected to descend.

Sheer Torture

Today was no day to exercise. It was so hot in the Garden that you could fry an omelette on someone’s head. But then, all our heads were covered in caps and the trapped heat inside was driving us mad. Karun Sharma suggested loosening the caps to allow some ventilation.

Braving the unbearable heat and humidity today 

It helped to an extent. Our biggest worry was that nobody should collapse out of exhaustion midway through the exercises.
Two days back, the sudden spike in summer temperature had led to cloud formations in the morning and according to the papers, there were even light showers in some parts of the city.

Bijoy Gupta

This had only worsened our situation because now, we were to contend with severe humidity also. And with the air totally still today, we were not just sticky all over, we were dehydrated to the bones – a perfect recipe for disaster.
For the first time, Kiran Prakash had come with his water bottle in a bag. Our regular ‘water carrier’ for the club, Fahmida Khan was nowhere to be seen. At one point, there were just 18 counted people (apart from us) walking in the Garden. They were literally dragging their feet, panting for breath. Some joked that the Almighty above should install a giant fan over us, in view of our dedication to the exercises!
Amid all this, Bijoy Gupta found reason to pull Shekhawat’s leg. Over the phone, he chided him for going to Dhanbad when he was supposed to stay put in his village in Rajasthan. “I wanted to know why you have moved to Dhanbad,” he teased Shekhawat. “You should have come straight to Mumbai because your birthday is coming up on April 27.”
Shekhawat realised the joke was on him and cut off the phone before long.

Bihari Milwani:
Had we known that it was going to be very hot in the morning today, we could have organised some chilled lassi.

Karun Sharma:
Bijoy Gupta is very creative as he is able to build comical stories on anyone around any situation. If we can take this sportingly, it would be great fun.

Dietary Gyan

Yusuf Rassiwala introduces his
niece, Sakina Hashmi

There are dieticians and there are dieticians. Their sole objective in life, it would seem, is to make your life miserable. They’d try to force-feed you with the most yucky, unpalatable and revolting food imaginable and then ask you to pay.
Today we met an exception in the person of Yusuf Rassiwala’s niece, Sakina Hashmi.
“You may eat what you please, but in moderation,” she exhorted. “Food is one of the most personal things in life with which we are emotionally connected. It is unfair for anybody to interfere with it. But do exercise balance. Don’t overdo anything.”
Another nugget of wisdom from the sprightly 25-year-old: “There are no quick-fix solutions for weight loss. You’d have taken say, 20 years to be of a certain weight and if someone promises to wipe it all off in 10 days, how is it possible? Yes, you might lose extra kilos on a crash diet, but it cannot be permanent. Besides, it can be counter-productive.”
Sakina, who holds a Master's degree in human nutrition from McGill University, Canada is in Mumbai on a short vacation from Bhopal. On her first visit to the Garden today,

Sakina's interaction with Club members today

she was naturally inhibited in front of so many elders. Yusuf R assured us she is a natural jokester, but that did not help. All it took to break down her shyness was a pointed question on whether eggs were good for health or not. Thereafter, she was on a flow, brimming with confidence and conviction. Here are some priceless takeaways from our half-our tete-a-tete with the charming young lady this morning:
(a) Health is 80% diet-reliant. Workouts, etc. can help, but only up to 20%.
(b) Soak vegetables and fruits in salt water overnight to reduce pesticide contamination.
(c) Peel soaked almonds for effective results. Better still, mix with walnut, flaxseed, etc.
(d) Don’t go by western dietary fads. Our lifestyle is different from theirs.
(e) Milk is good and so is curd/ yoghurt – unless you are lactose intolerant.
(f) Chicken/ fowl is better than red meat but limit it to once a week.
(g) Times are changing. We are getting increasingly inactive. And stress can be a killer.
We have requested Sakina to formally address the Club in a seminar on Saturday, April 20 in the China Hut. Let’s hope it works out.

Bihari Milwani:
The best dietary gyan is Big Laaf. Sakina should highlight this.

Karun Sharma:
Sakina was excellent in taking questions. In addition to compiling vital points in the blog, the Saturday seminar could be an extremely useful session.

DAY 2808

Pic of the Week

CHILDREN AT PLAY: "NOW YOU SEE ME, NOW YOU DON'T"!

Yusuf bhai singing to Gupta-ji: 'Bade miyan deewane aise na bano/ Haseena kya chaahe humse suno... Sabse pehle suno miyan/ Pahenke full pant bano jawan...' --Bihari Milwani

‘Feku Baba’ Revived

Heated discussions over staging Feku Baba on May 4

The ghost of Feku Baba came to haunt the Club today. The play on a fraudster of a godman had long been buried and forgotten (ref post of February 23) till Bijoy Gupta suddenly pointed out a flaw in the script this morning.
“Did you know fake babas use cuss words?” he apprised Yusuf Rassiwala who was supposed to play the title role. “They will not use abusive language per se. But they would curse you with say, turning you into

Banoo Apa kept her word
by bringing lassi today

a cat or a dog if you don't obey them.”
We could understand that Gupta was still ruing over his play getting junked due to what he described as the “cowardice” of some members. Kiran Prakash tried to console him saying that the play could still be staged – in fact, before Ramzaan early next month.
The idea instantly caught on. “We don’t have to stage it on a grand scale,” Kiran Prakash assured in a brief pep talk. “We can have it in the Garden any day after the exercises. After all, it is always good to have something going for the Club to keep our spirits upbeat.”
Yusuf Rassiwala suggested we stage the play outside the China Hut while Kiran Prakash preferred the raised platform at the opposite end of the Garden.

Razia Khan (l) regales with an Urdu couplet on a drunkard's logic  

Some like Zarina and Rukhsana Khan suggested we combine it with a picnic while Bhaswati Bose and Banoo Apa proposed staging it like a street play on Juhu Beach.
Even the date was decided for May 4, except that Gupta was all at sea. “But where is your audience?” he demanded, obviously wanting a proper stage with lights, sound system, props and the works. “Let it not be like the peacock has danced in the jungle and nobody saw it!”
Clearly Gupta was worried what his friends would say. So he tried another tack: “How will Yusuf-bhai come to the Garden dressed in black robes like a godman? Other artistes will also be in costume and make-up because there is no green room, no place to change… Are you people out of your minds?” When it was explained that nobody shall be in costume and we would be in our normal daily wear, Gupta broke down: “It is a good play, don’t ruin it. This is like getting an elephant married to an ant. Better to not have the play than doing a bad job of it.”
Eventually, after much persuasion, he came around. “Have it your way,” he muttered. “What do I care? People will only say we have gone mad!”

Bihari Milwani:
Can we have the play in some resort? It will be picnic-cum-show in an air conditioned atmosphere with no chance of the audience running away.

Shut the Blog!

Kiran Prakash (in red tee) demands that the blog be shut down

Kiran Prakash is a regular follower of this blog. Since the time he joined us five years back, he has been religiously visiting the site to keep himself abreast with developments in the Club. By his own admission, he never misses a single day, no matter where he is.
But then, Kiran Prakash also has a problem with the blog. “The blog should be immediately disbanded,” he demanded this morning. “For every time I do not come to the Club, I get to read in the blog that Banoo Apa has treated everyone to lassi. You can imagine what a hard time I have, missing the lassi. I feel miserable. Better do away with the blog so that I remain blissfully unaware of the lassi and do not feel so deprived.”
Truth be told, it is for regular readers like Kiran Prakash that the blog is written. On a day he does not show up at the Garden, a post would go out without fail so that he remains suitably updated. For instance, when he was away to China and Japan recently on a cruise, the blog was not dropped for a single day.
Likewise, when Yusuf Rassiwala had gone to Iraq on pilgrimage last month, the blog did not miss its daily deadline. For he too is a regular reader.

Rustling up today's blog (Pic by Bhaswati Bose)

And the most rewarding part of this indulgence was that traffic from Iraq had suddenly spiked, hitting a dozen at times on a good day – just as it was from China and Japan during Kiran Prakash’s trip.
Others known to be regular followers of the blog include Naseem Khan, Bihari Milwani, Siba Prasad Maitra, Banoo Apa, Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd) and so on. Some visit the site once every three or four days while others depend on family members to translate its contents. Many are happy checking out the photos only.
But the bulk of the daily traffic originates from strangers in the U.S., Belgium, Portugal, UAE and Greece. They would never have met say, Shekhawat or Bijoy Gupta, but the mental imagery they have already formed about some of our members and their antics is compelling enough to visit the site again and again.
As for Kiran Prakash’s complaint today, quite clearly he has nothing against this blog. He misses the lassi. And so, Banoo Apa consoled him with the promise of treating him to his heart’s content tomorrow with as many glasses of lassi he pleases. The rest of us will be beneficiaries by default -- hopefully.

Bihari Milwani:
Thanks KP Sah'b. Now we know your weakness towards lassi. Whenever we need to get work done from you, first we will offer lassi to you. Hamme bhi prakaash ki kiran mil gayee. We also received the ray of light!

On Course

Mrs Rassiwala

Mrs Shekhawat

The annual subscription drive for renewal of club membership is on course. Belying general apprehensions, most members have already paid up, taking defaulters and dropouts

Getting baked in the morning sun

to a bare minimum. But these are on expected lines.
So are a couple of fence-sitters, waiting as usual, to be invited separately on their own terms. Some like Qadir Bano and Urmila Sinha are currently out of circulation while a few, such as Karuna Waghmare and Santosh Tyagi are

Arun Patil

caught up in certain intractable domestic issues for the moment. Arun Patil has, of late, got busy with his film work.
The continued absence of all these people during the exercises had given rise to misgivings about depletion in our membership strength. Even Sitaram Hivarkar had commented the other day (ref post of April 9) about a perceptible drop in attendance – obviously not factoring in the unbearable heat and humidity in the morning that tends to keep people indoors.
On the positive side, there have been a couple of re-entries in the Club.

Karuna Waghmare

Santosh Tyagi

Niloufer Rassiwala and Mohankanwar Shekhawat, who had excused themselves last year (because of their inability to be punctual and regular) have renewed their membership. Their spouses have paid the annual subscription on their behalf.
In another gratifying gesture, Banoo Apa and Rukhsana Khan have also paid up for the year. Both are relocating to Goregaon, coincidentally in the same building complex, which would be way, way beyond walking distance from the Garden. They have decided to pitch in together for a daily auto-rickshaw commute, just so that they are able to retain their membership. Such love and attachment towards Big Laaf can only be regarded as exemplary.

Terms of Endearment

Yusuf Toffeewala???

Every morning Yusuf Rassiwala distributes toffees and lozenges to those who arrive in the Garden before the start of the exercises. This is an ‘early bird incentive’ – a reward from him for being punctual.
But it is also habit forming, as Nahid Khan was to point out today. “We are coming early in the sole hope of getting a toffee,” she remarked.

It was Angad Singh's 85th birthday today. With commendable foresight,
Bihari Milwani (r) gifted him a beautiful memento just before
he left for Dubai last month. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Colonel Sah'b!

“The day we won’t get a toffee, we shall be sorely disappointed.”
“He is our Toffeewala,” attested Rukhsana Khan, grinning from ear to ear.
Overnight, Yusuf Rassiwala acquired a new moniker: Toffeewala. Till then, he could count himself among the lucky few in the Club, not to be having a nickname. Almost everyone else – for reasons good or bad, right or wrong – is tagged with a name their parents did not give them.

Karun Sharma has left for
Delhi to cast his vote 

Thus, we have in our midst a female ‘Bhaijaan’, as also a ‘Urmila Matondkar’, a ‘Gudhri ka Lal’, ‘Babu Moshai’, ‘Simran’ and so on. There are also some not-so-flattering allusions like ‘Tingu’, ‘Golu’, ‘Tension Mandela’, ‘First Floor’, ‘Kareena Kapoor’, etc.
While many nick names have gained currency through the years, some keep changing. For instance, Bihari Milwani has had to contend with ‘Banke Bihari Lal’, ‘Mr 654321’ and ‘Ulti Ginti Wale’ at different points in time. Some don’t stick at all. ‘Gully Boy’ and ‘Kadak Singh Jailor’ are two cases in point.
Name dropping is however, nothing new in Big Laaf. Since its earliest days, there have been people like ‘Khadoos Budhdha’, ‘Aggarbatti’, ‘Teda Sher’ and ‘Topiwale Pandurang Baba’ as members. Late Ram Shankar Shukla was known as ‘Qutb Minar’ due to his extraordinary height and another dear departed, Teja Singh Bhambra used to be called ‘Jingle Bells’ for his Santa Claus-like demeanour.
Ultimately, these nicknames are to be taken as terms of endearment. It is nothing but easy familiarity over time that leads friends to taking liberties and addressing one another by strange epithets. No offence is intended. No offence is taken. It is all in good humour, the handiwork of idle minds.

Bihari Milwani:
In my office I am known by yet another name: 'Birthday Wizard'!

Broken Bones?

Bijoy Gupta (pic by
Bihari Milwani)

Shekhawat (in Rajasthan)

There’s been no news from Shekhawat since he left for his village last Tuesday (see post of April 2). This is rather unusual. Never before has he let a full week pass without touching base and inquiring about the latest from the Garden.
The silence this time has been deafening, especially for bosom pal Bijoy ‘Gudhri ka Lal’ Gupta, who floated the story of Shekhawat hitching a free ride (ref post of April 3) on a ramshackle delivery truck carrying medical supplies to Rajasthan. “All the bones of his body must have been broken to bits after the journey,” Gupta speculated. “Otherwise why is he not contacting us?”
To allay his fears a call was made this morning to Shekhawat, soon after the exercises. “I am doing great,” his voice crackled at the other end. “It is terribly hot out here, but I have fitted my room with an air cooler. So I don’t get to suffer the heat.”
Gupta was not convinced. He snatched the phone and asked Shekhawat point blank: “Are you sure the bones of your body

Sitaram Hivarkar (c) dropped by to conduct the prayers... like good old days

are intact? We were all worried since you did not call on reaching Rajasthan. Never again should you undertake such a long journey on a delivery truck. You are lucky to be still in one piece…”
The ‘advice’ coming from Gupta early morning must have rattled Shekhawat for there was a protracted silence afterwards. “No, I am serious,” continued Gupta. “You are no longer a young man to be travelling long-distance by truck. Listen to me, take a train on your way back to Mumbai. Better still, catch a plane and travel comfortably.”
Somehow, Gupta is convinced that Shekhawat was lying to him on phone – or so was the impression he tried to convey: “He is in pretty bad shape, but does not want to admit. I could make out because his voice sounded very feeble. Maybe his bones aren’t broken yet, but surely he is badly shaken up inside!”

Bihari Milwani:
Gupta-ji must have sent Fevicol by courier to Shekhawat to mend the broken bones!

Cause for Concern

Dip in attendance today

Urmila Sinha called up yesterday to inform that she must perforce defer her return to Mumbai by four months. She needs to take care of some unfinished work in Dhanbad. That apart, the family she was staying with in Mumbai is also away and would return not before August-September.
Urmila is important to us because she is among the counted few who are punctual and regular to a fault – regardless of whether there is a party or not. Today, for instance, the turnout was just about half of what we saw on Saturday (see post), clearly because there was no occasion for anyone to announce a party.
During Ramzaan (less than a month away), things would turn even worse.

Urmila Sinha

Daily attendance is bound to hit rock bottom, leading to what Banoo Apa described this morning as an alarming situation. “The Garden will turn barren during Ramzaan,” she declared before surprising us with a refreshing round of tea and cake slices after the exercises.
That the summer heat will be at its peak during May is another deterrent for members to show up at the Garden.

Banoo Apa's surprise treat today morning

And from June onwards, we will be hit by the monsoon rains. There will be days when we may even have to suspend our exercises due to low turnout. We lost two days due to this reason last year – something unprecedented in the Club.
This is what has become a cause for concern. Scrapping exercises is akin to sounding the death knell for Big Laaf. Unlike other laughter clubs (most of them have folded up), we have survived well beyond 15 years for the simple reason that come what may, exercises are held every day between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. without fail.
Everyone knows this. Late comers are assured that no matter how late they may be, there will always be some members exercising religiously in the Garden during that one hour. This is what has kept the Club going. Once that assurance is taken away, many would not bother to leave their homes. And then, it would only be a matter of time before we say farewell to one another.