Day 1157

Pic of the Week

CALLING ALL YE FOLLOWERS! THE BLOG WILL BE RESUMED IN THE NEW YEAR.
PLEASE DON'T GO AWAY!!!

Perched comfortably on the top of the world... metal frame hi sahi! --Harish Wadhwa

New Lease of Life

Jagmohan Papneja

Srichand Arora

The cloud of uncertainty hovering over the Club for the past month-and-half (see post of October 15), has finally been lifted. Members today voted en masse for its continuance, thus putting to rest all speculation on the future of Big Laaf.
In other words, status quo has been restored.
The credit for this goes entirely to the initiatives taken by secretary Jagmohan Papneja and chairman Srichand Arora in mobilizing members for the general body meeting convened this morning in the China Hut. Another biggie, Yusuf Rassiwala was also present to provide damage control and as always, lend moral support to the members attending.
On his part, Hari Singh Shekhawat cleared the air of ‘certain misunderstandings’

Monthi Serrao

Hari Singh Shekhawat

that had crept into the Club and vitiated the atmosphere within.
But then, everyone conceded that misunderstandings were bound to arise even among members of a family and there can never be an unanimity of views.
And ours was verily an extended family.
Two members, Kajal Babani and Bhaswati Bose were re-inducted into Big Laaf by common consensus. Geeta Sardhana, a committee member, excused herself midway through the meeting. And Monthi Serrao, as treasurer, presented the updated Statement of Accounts, proposing that Rs30,000 from the Club kitty be assigned to a fixed deposit account, which would fetch higher interest with the bank. The proposal was passed unanimously. And so it’s back to business as usual!

Anonymous
Happy to see the blog back in action.

Humble Submission

Blog Monster acknowledges the warm sentiments behind all requests to revive this blog (see last post) and would be only too happy to oblige – just that some clarity needs to emerge on the future of the Club. This blog cannot subsist in isolation, independent of the Club.
As all members are aware, there have been repeated attempts by certain disruptive elements to create a rift within the Club and stall all efforts at taking it forward. Sadly, we appear to have succumbed to those moves. Efforts are now on at driving a consensus to disband the Club entirely and revert to the old days when we were no more than a noisy gathering of unruly individuals. Should that happen, Big Laaf is doomed. And this blog shall die a natural death.
Let us hope this does not happen.
Srichand Arora:
Thanks a lot, dear Blog Monster. HOPE ALL THE MEMBERS OF BIG LAAF WILL UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS BLOG. I THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN AND I REALLY MEAN IT!
Harish Wadhwa:
Nice to see all members sky-rocketing once again after Diwali. Good that the blog is active from the new Hindu calender year, Vikram Samvat - 2070.

FAREWELL, DEAR FRIENDS!

Like all things good, this too must end. The time has come to terminate this blog. We started out in mid-2010 and after three years or so, through 1,154 posts and a viewership of 250,000-odd across continents, we have now reached the end of the road.
It has been an enriching journey, very gratifying and in many ways, ennobling as well. After all, who would have guessed that the antics of some seniors in a Mumbai suburb could arouse the interest of someone located in, say London, or Seoul, or Harare? More importantly, every time someone from the extended family of a member has reached out from some part of the globe, we have felt doubly elated, convinced that the purpose of this blog has been served. It was great till it lasted. And we thank you all for your time, indulgence and support.
But before we say our goodbyes, a word of apology: In the course of day-to-day blogging, we could have erred on facts, hurt some sentiments or perhaps, missed out on matters of detail. For all such acts of omission and commission, however inadvertent those might have been, we seek forgiveness.
The closure of this blog does not mean the end of the Club. The Big Laaf family shall continue to grow in strength with increased vitality and dynamism under the able leadership and guidance of Srichand Arora, Shekhawat, Monthi Serrao, Santosh Tyagi, Razia Khan and others, spreading joy and laughter as always. Here’s wishing them all as well as our followers and readers the very best. Time now to move on.

--Blog Monster

Harish Wadhwa:
* I hope this is not some kind of an April Fool joke. We do NOT want the blog closed or lose the monster! We want Blog Monster tied up with us. Please reconsider your decision, for the good of all the people, who love you so much.
* The daily blogs are not just so interesting, they are terrific and we are all addicted to it. PLEASE, PLEASE... reconsider your decision for us.
o err is human,to forgive divine.
Jagmohan Papneja:
* Everyone makes mistakes. And to forgive someone for a mistake is indeed very hard. As humans, we can't forget easily, which is a larger part of forgiveness. But once we truly forgive, it would extremely pleasant and delightful.
* Some of us feel that emotions have played a role in such a drastic step. We also feel that if reason is allowed to repose, the whole scenario will change. This being a solitary case, a pardon will ease the overcharged feelings.
* Appreciate those who love you. Help those who need you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget those who leave you!
Anonymous:
Please, please do not close this blog.
Harish Wadhwa (on 5/11/2013):
Hey, today is the day after Diwali -- an auspicious day to re-start the blog. So lets get going again!
Srichand Arora: (on 5/11/2013):
Hi you, BLOG MONSTER! We await you to re-start the blog as so many things are to be attended by you and almost all the viewers are waiting for your day-to-day updates of BIG LAAF. Please re-start immediately.
Harish Wadhwa (on 6/11/2013):
To err is human, and to forgive divine.

Dussehra 2013

Puja prasad from Santosh Tyagi

It’s quiet once again. After a crazy weekend of non-stop Dandiya dancing, Ram Leela shows, Durga Puja feasting and ten-headed Ravana effigies going up in flames, peace has finally descended with Vijaya Dashami / Dussehra. It was time to catch our breath, renew our vows and wish one another well in life. May truth triumph over evil and the blessings of the 'Divine Mother' bestowed upon everyone.
On this auspicious occasion, Santosh Tyagi had organized a puja at home and this morning, she came to the Garden with the prasad – halwa and boiled chana – for distribution after the exercises. Served in neat paper cups, it was a wonderful way to enjoin all members in her family celebration and bring the curtains down on the biggest Hindu festival of the year. Very thoughtful of her.
Once again, this is wishing everyone – all members and our readers everywhere – a very Happy Dussehra 2013.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Santosh-ji, twade halwe da... Oops! Matlab ji, twade haathon banaya, rave-de-halve da jawaab nahin!!!
* Badmaash Company ke doston se guzarish hai ki woh aaj ghar se nahin niklein! Log khule aam 'Ravan' maarne aur jalan nikle hain!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Before the laughter session, the group takes its position and exchanges pleasantries. Arun-ji is in the habit of making fun of Razia-ji and in turn he gets his dues. Today Razia-ji declared that she is having chhatis ka aakda with Arun. It means if you write 36 in Hindi, it will look like two persons sitting with back towards each other (somewhat like 96 in English). The group cannot remain quiet. Some nok jhonk or the other always persists so as to make the exercises lively.

Day 1152

Pic of the Week

CROUCHING TIGERS OF BIG LAAF RUGBY TEAM... AND A HIDDEN DRAGON!

The Most Amazing Three Legends show will be commencing from Monday, October 14 from 7:00 a.m. to 7:40 a.m. at Lokhandwala Garden No 4. Come One, Come All. Entry Free. Must Watch!!! --Jagmohan Papneja

The Charging Rugby Bulls Show... apun se panga nahin lene ka, kya! --Harish Wadhwa

Singapore Dhamaka!

It's party time... once again!

It started with an apology and ended with a bang. The apology was for being unable to afford “anything substantive” for members of the club, given the falling rupee rate and steep prices of consumables in Singapore. “I’ll make up for this on Saturday with a phapda-jalebi party,” Srichand Arora promised while distributing chocolates upon his return last Tuesday (see post of October 8).
And what a party it was!
We not only had a full house buzzing with energy and joy, but to top it all, there was Ramila Mistry also with a huge container of home-made dhoklas as add-ons. What was more, the four Babanis – Renu, Kishor, Dilip and Kajal – sprung a pleasant surprise by showing up for the party just in time.

Badmaash Company quartet

They had not been coming for a while, which only prompted Arora to voice what has always been discussed in hushed tones: “How do you manage to smell out a party without fail on every occasion?” Before any of them could reply, Harish Wadhwa chipped in: “It is the aroma of Arora-sahab’s love that has brought them today!”
But the bigger sensation of the morning was the Badmaash Company – all four of them – turning up in identical white branded T-shirts. It didn’t take long for people to realize that those were Arora’s gifts from Singapore, but many insisted that the T-shirts were picked up from some bargain sale in Lokhandwala. “No, these four had gone together and ransacked a shop,” Santosh Tyagi corrected them.
“Are these T-shirts also available in the chai shop?” Jagmohan Papneja asked in mock seriousness.
Since the T-shirts were top quality designer wear, some ladies objected to why they were given away selectively. “We should all be given the T-shirts like a uniform,” they argued, only to be reminded that many of them were reluctant to even wear the Club cap on a regular basis.
“I see them defiantly taking off their caps, even during the exercises,” Arora quipped. “I do not want such a situation to arise with T-shirts?!!”
Jagmohan Papneja:
Arora-ji is one to not only set a good example, but is also a trend setter. People always follow good examples. It won't be long before others follow suit. Thank you, Arora-ji for making our morning so wonderful!!!
Harish Wadhwa:
* Jagmohan-ji, are you referring to the smoking Badmaash Team? Well the pic is great and worth treasuring.
* Thanks, Arora-sa'ab for the goodies this morning. But I must say that the home-made dhoklas from Ramila-ji were terrific and just too good. Ramila-ji, keep my order for one kilo (chargeable basis) whenever you make them again. Or just call me home, so that I can then lick the container clean!
* Did you notice the rugby T-Shirts, tirchi-topi and the smoking pose of the four musketeers? Wah-wah, kya baat hai!

Forever Kids

A mosquito in Shekhawat's bonnet?

Yet another wet morning, forcing us back to the concrete ground outside China Hut. But more than the damp grass and slush, the mosquitoes of the Garden have become a major cause of annoyance. With the extended monsoon this year, they seem to be getting bigger and bolder by the day -- at times causing acute embarrassment by getting into the nostrils and ears, not to mention unmentionable places inside the clothes. Ram Shankar Shukla is so fed up of them that his visits to the Garden are nowadays timed with the appearance of sunshine.

Sunita Jajodia

If it is a wet day, he stays out – because otherwise the mosquitoes would chase him away. Or so he believes.
The funny thing about Shukla is that he lives by his own rules and couldn’t care less what others make of him. Outwardly a jolly good fellow, he quite enjoys the leg pulling Shekhawat subjects him to on his so-called gurukuls (see post of September 30).

Ram Shankar Shukla

But inwardly, he has his kinks – particularly on matters of punctuality, discipline and fitness. For instance, he believes the Garden’s neem tree (azadirachta indica) is the panacea of all his bodily ills and no matter whoever might prevent him, he would procure a pole (even an umbrella handle will do) and pluck its leaves in broad daylight. That this is his birthright, is non-negotiable. Or so he believes.
And yet he is the same man who wouldn’t mind anyone calling him by any name because of his towering height. The latest is “Tadh Deb” as in palm tree, coined by Arun Patil. Earlier, Sunita Jajodia had christened him “Qutub Minar-ji” which soon became the nickname all members addressed him as. But when Sunita went a step further and addressed him as “Electric Pole” in Hindi, he got upset. He kept quiet for a while and then, like a spiteful kid, hit back by calling her “Moti” (Fatso) during the exercises!
Whoever thought we had outgrown such behavior from our school days? Fact is, some people forgot to grow up.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Neem provides the answer to many incurable diseases. Modern research also confirms neem's curative powers. We should follow Shukla-ji and start using neem leaves for improving our overall body mechanism.

Special Day

Srichand Arora takes charge of today's exercises

Photo op at Lokhandwala Durgotsav 2013

Today was a special day as Srichand Arora, in spite of a stiff arm, took to the middle and conducted the free-hand exercises after four months. Given his advanced age and considering the slow recovery from a major road accident last June, this was no mean feat. For such a bold initiative, the courage and will to overcome physical odds and in the end, coming off successfully, he was greeted with a special round of applause from all present.
But then, as it is said, necessity is the mother of desperate measures. None of the seniors who normally conduct our exercises – including Nahid Khan and Razia Khan – turned up today. (Strangely, barring Khatoon Baig, all our Muslim friends were absent en masse this morning.) Realising the situation we were in, Arora volunteered to take charge, but with a rider. “You all know the condition of my left shoulder, so please forgive me for any lapse that might occur,” he said with folded hands. “I will do the best I can but on your part, please try to carry out the exercises correctly.”
There were no lapses. On the contrary, Arora was extra cautious today while stretching and lifting the affected arm, unlike the times when left to himself, he would turn needlessly adventurous, only to recoil in agony. He also looked upbeat while mentioning the name of a reputed physio-therapist who has given him time to check the injured shoulder.
In the end, just before calling it a day, Shekhawat announced that the Durga idol in Garden No 4 has just been installed and all those interested may take a walk across the street for a “devi darshan”. Members however, were more interested in passes for the evening entertainment shows and began questioning one another on their availability. Nevertheless, like every year, a small group from the Club went across and paid obeisance to the idol at what is otherwise known as the Lokhandwala Durgotsav of 2013.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Nice to see our jolly-hearted Arora-sa'ab in action, giving the group some fine rocket-launch lessons!
* The idol of Durga-Ma at Lokhandwala Garden are very similar to that of last year. Hey Ma, forgive the sins and badmashiyan of all the badmaashes who visited you today for darshan. Needless to say, I was one of them!

Matheran Deferred

Srichand Arora raises a point of order

The picnic to Matheran has been pushed to November 23, 2013. Making the announcement this morning, Hari Singh Shekhawat said that the decision was taken keeping in view the wishes of members, an overwhelming majority of who had found November 9 to be an inconvenient date.
“We must remember that Muharram would begin on November 3 and the first ten days are regarded very significant with many of our Muslim friends fasting at that time,” Shekhawat explained. “It would be unfair to schedule our picnic during that period and deprive them the opportunity to join us.”
Arun Patil has accordingly been directed to make all arrangements at Matheran for boarding and lodging.

Muthu the Maverick

In Shekhawat’s view, we would eventually form a contingent of 30-odd which would require at least 15 room reservations right now. Transport booking will be made separately by him.
Subsequently, Srichand Arora raised a point of order over some members habitually walking away from the exercises mid-way or ‘resting’ on one pretext or the other. He requested them to stay put in their places till the very end even if they were tired or not interested in doing a particular exercise. “You cannot walk in and walk out at your pleasure while the exercises are on,” he said. “This is insulting. It betrays contempt towards discipline and the very idea of exercising.”
Meanwhile, Arun got into an altercation with Muthu, the maverick ‘ungli master’. The latter was, as usual, raising a ruckus with his cronies in another part of the Garden, which disturbed Arun’s concentration while exercising. He snapped at them, only to be rewarded with a mouthful from Muthu. A brief but inconclusive slanging match followed, one challenging the other and issuing ultimatums.
Later, at the gate, Arun was gheraoed by Muthu’s friends who wanted to know why he was interfering in their business. Arun’s explanation that they were “disturbing the peace of the Garden” was unconvincing. “When you people raise hell by laughing loudly every morning it’s fine, but when we have a little fun among ourselves, you have a problem,” argued a burly middle-aged man who runs an agency of security guards. It was a veiled threat. But he had a point. And Arun had no answer.
Jagmohan Papneja:
At an advance stage of life, senior citizens should have the liberty to choose their own ways rather than impose alternatives. They are mature enough to maintain self-discipline and carry out their daily routine. Even if there are shortcomings, that can easily be excused as this is concomitant of advance age and one should be supportive.
Srichand Arora replies:
I just disagree with the comment. At every stage of AGE, we must have some discipline. No one has said at any time that a senior citizen has the liberty to avoid or forgo discipline. No one will be supportive of such acts by any member.
Jagmohan Papneja retorts:
It has been seen in the past that everybody is supportive towards senior citizens when the need arises. As and when circumstances warrant, they withdraw for rest for a fraction of minute to recoup themselves and this cannot be construed as a violation of discipline. Any suggestion coming from any quarter should be viewed in the right spirit and one should not be touchy. The basic objective is to spread happiness and wellness among ourselves. Needless to say, the only discipline that lasts is self-discipline.
Srichand Arora relents:
I think this is an argument which will never end. If I put some words here then again I might get some more comments. My belief is better to surrender in an argument and win friends.

Boss is Back!

Srichand Arora is back from Singapore. The extended vacation has turned him visibly fitter and refreshed compared to what we had seen of him a month back. A few ladies like Ramila Mistry and Harbans Kaur even commented that he had lost a few kilos, which was to prompt the predictable retort: “Achchi baat hai! I should now return to Singapore and stay put there.”
Arora’s popularity was on display the moment he stepped into the Garden this morning. Apart from regular members, club friends like Vijay Bhai and Banoo Khan greeted him with open arms and folded hands while rank strangers stopped mid-stride to inquire if all was well and whether he was out on a holiday.

Happy Birthday NAFISA SAYYAD

That he was missed was evident all around, just that we slipped up on raising the extra laugh for him, as has been our practice.
But there was a reason for this. Arora reminded us it was Nafisa Sayyad’s birthday today and that a fourth laugh for her was in order. Nafisa was taken aback and pleaded ignorance – more so since nobody celebrates birthdays in her family. But Arora insisted it was her birthday and as we clapped and rejoiced around her, to our infinite horror, Nafisa broke drown!
For the first time, we were seeing this otherwise happy-go-lucky lady in tears and as everybody hovered about to console her, she began to cry uncontrollably. Clearly, she was so overwhelmed by all the love and affection showered upon her that she could not hold herself. And to make matters worse, Arora scolded her for weeping on her birthday and like an indulgent elder, directed her to distribute the chocolates he had brought from Singapore. Sniffling and whimpering, Nafisa agreed, but when Arora tried feeding her a small piece, she refused because of an aggravated diabetes condition.
It was an emotionally charged morning, tender and sweet, but nobody could make anything of it.
Srichand Arora:
Thanks a lot for giving me such a warm welcome. I can never forget the affection of all my Big Laaf and Garden friends. Thanks, once again!

Spare the Rod…

Arun Patil receives a caning from Razia Khan 

Spare the rod and spoil the child. The dictum was put to test this morning when Razia Khan produced a cane to enforce order and discipline during the exercises. Initially this three-feet long weapon was seen as a walking stick with Nahid Khan wickedly commenting that “Razia had become so old and feeble that she needed the support of a stick to walk up to the Garden”. But once Razia took charge in the middle and declared her intention to whack anyone who disobeyed her, everyone stood on guard.
Especially Arun. He was singled out and warned not to talk out of turn or else… Arun obediently shook his head and strangely, he kept his word.

Congratulations Geeta Sardhana!

For the first time, he did not utter a word on the way Razia conducted the exercises. Others tried to provoke him, urging him to pick faults so that he got royally thrashed on his bums. But Arun kept his counsel, not taking any chances today.
Poor Razia was left with no choice but to target the late comers. But there too she drew a blank. The only person she could possibly use her cane on was Harish Wadhwa, but as her luck would have it, his arrival coincided with Sitaram Hivarkar’s. The moment Razia charged brandishing the cane, Harish turned at Sitaram coming up behind and the lady had to contain herself. Ultimately, Arun obliged her out of sympathy and offered his open palm to be caned. Razia tried to hurt him, but failed.
Meanwhile, Geeta Sardhana had some good news to share. She was adjudged ‘best dancer’ in the dandiya competition of her housing society yesterday and had won a perfume bottle as prize. Shekhawat just about heard the word ‘bottle’ in passing and came running excitedly to catch the details. Geeta repeated “perfume bottle”. Shekhawat’s face fell. “Dhatt Teri!” he muttered and walked away.
Jagmohan Papneja:
It is Razia-ji's art of laughing yoga that creates a joyful atmosphere in the club. She adopts a carrot-and-stick approach to entertain the whole group.
Srichand Arora:
Geeta-ji, congratulations! We both (Kiran and I) are really very happy to know about your skill!!!

Day 1145

Pic(s) of the Week

"NO... YOU BETTER LISTEN TO ME!"

"NOW... YOU LISTEN TO ME!"

* Most relationships fail because we spend too much time pointing out each other's mistakes and not enough time in enjoying each other's company. --Jagmohan Papneja 

* Every time you point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing right back at you. This is evident in both the pictures. --Jagmohan Papneja

Change of Plan

Shekhawat announces fresh plans for Bangkok-Pattaya

Ladies ponder over Shekhawat's announcement

After a brief lull, the Bangkok-Pattaya programme was revived this morning. Shekhawat informed that someone from Eezeego Travels (not Jayanto Majhi) had called him yesterday, offering a tour package well within our budget of Rs25,000 per head. It was however, subject to one condition: the trip will have to be undertaken this December.
Originally our plans were to set out in mid-November, i.e. soon after Diwali, which would give everyone time to get their travel documents together while also being able to avail of off-season discounts on flight booking and hotel reservations. Somehow, this did not work out (see last post of September 24) and the programme had to be pushed to January 2014 for things to fall within the specified budget.
Significantly, the December idea has met with all-round approval as many Muslim ladies, who could otherwise not go because of Muharram (November 3 to December 3, 2013) agreed to enlist themselves for the tour. Besides them, Shekhawat already has a committed group of 17, comprising mostly couples and families. There were also some who had backed out earlier because of prior engagements. Now that they will be free to join, Shekhawat believes he should be able to rustle up a group of 30 or so.
Arun Patil was also told to expedite making the financial estimates on the tour programme for Matheran, scheduled on November 9 and 10. Shekhawat is in a hurry to finalise this because from October 13 (next week-end) he would be away to his home town in Rajasthan for about a fortnight. He said by then Srichand Arora should be back from Singapore to take things forward.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
As you all know, in December my children from Singapore are on vacation to India. It will not be possible for me to join. So I shall be thankful if plans are made for January. Moreover I am ready for the trip to Matheran in November.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Bangkok-Pattaya, the main entry point for South Asia and most notorious destination continues to be a budget traveler's dream with plenty of cheap hotels and street food that costs almost nothing. It is only the high price of alcohol that pushes Pattaya down the cheap list a bit. So the teetotalers are even better off than the rest.

Navratri 2013

Durga, the Mother Goddess

Today being the end of Pitra Paksh – a day for appeasing the spirits of ancestors – many gave the morning exercises a miss. Even Ved Prakash Grover, the most regular among all members, did not turn up. Like others, he too had organised a puja at home and in keeping with family tradition and customs, shall perform shraadh during the day.
Today also happened to be the eve of Navratri – the ‘festival of nine nights’ when the Mother Goddess is invoked with an array of rituals and ceremony, folk dance and cultural programs.

Santosh Tyagi regales with her bagful of jokes

The garden across the road is hosting a grand Durga Puja celebration by local Bengalis, which will soon turn into a carnival of community feasting and entertainment shows, stretching up to Dussehra on October 14.
The festive feel was yet to sink in though. Shekhawat did his bit at lifting the mood by loudly keeping count of those who turned up for exercising. He is peculiarly fixated on the male-female ratio during the exercises, deriving enormous pleasure whenever the men outnumbered women.

Prakash Motwani

At one point when the number was evenly poised at five, he suggested closing the gate of the garden, when in came Arun Patil. Shekhawat hopped around triumphantly clapping his hands like a mechanical toy as Razia Khan reprimanded Arun for showing up today, when in came Khatoon Baig to neutralize all the excitement.
And there was Jagmohan Papneja describing the semi-sitting poses of Kissa Kursi Ka exercise as “Indian (toilet)” and “Western (toilet)”…! And during the Lion and Lioness exercise, the growls were termed as “dogs barking”. And Monthi Serrao demonstrated how dogs pant with tongues hanging out, which was instantly dismissed as an “yeda exercise”. And Santosh Tyagi, with a new collection of jokes, kept the stream of laughter flowing till the end.
Meanwhile, news has come in of Prakash Motwani being still under the weather. He has not recovered from the violent asthmatic attack he suffered last February and the extended monsoon has had a severe toll on his health. To make matters worse, he cannot rest at home during the day because renovation work is on. The worst part is no doctor has been able to arrest his loss of weight. He stands today at under-50 kilos – weak and frail, looking way, way older than his years.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Jai Mata Di to all on the eve of Navratri. Let the blessings of Maa Durga shower upon you. I wish you all good health and happy moments.

Not Enough Fun?

Razia Khan

Shekhawat returned today, looking hale and hearty. The chest pain that struck him yesterday (see post) has apparently ebbed. He said it was gone even before he returned home and he has since forgotten about it. Still, all his friends and well-wishers advised him not to overdo himself, be it at exercising, drinking or masti-mazaak.

Collecting subscriptions for October

“Everything you do now has to be within limits,” was Ram Shankar Shukla’s sage advice.
But where does any advice work on Shekhawat? He continued ribbing Shukla on his gurukuls (see post of September 30) and “Shanti” (the name has now changed from Shilpi Devi) and when it came to saying “Very Good” between the laughter and free-hand rounds, he insisted we say “Qabool Hai” in chorus for a change. (It seems his son is writing a tele-serial by that name). It took Yusuf Rassiwala and the Muslim ladies to restrain him and we settled for “Good Morning” instead.
Razia Khan stepped in the middle to conduct the exercises and once again, Shekhawat went berserk with his pranks and tomfoolery. But all eyes were on Arun Patil, waiting for him to pick faults in every move Razia made. But oddly enough, Arun did nothing of the sort today, except for making a passing remark in the end, “Aaj mazaa nahin aaya!” True to style, Razia demanded what gives him ‘mazaa’, only to be told she had not entered his range of vision. “Most of the time my eyes were above your head,” he chided. “You have to raise yourself!”
“In that case, we will have to put up a stage in the middle,” Yusuf retorted. “Whoever conducts exercises now will have to stand up on the stage for Arun. Then he will have fun…”
The desire to entertain and be entertained has become so pervasive that at times, it would seem that the exercises are merely incidental. We would do anything, perhaps, even stand on our heads, for that extra laugh. Else, the morning is wasted.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
FRIENDS, I am not missing the laughter only, but your day-to-day actions, activities and masti also. Frankly speaking, yaaron jaan jalti hai, BLOG padh kar!!!

Gandhi Jayanti 2013

Jagmohan Papneja

If there is anyone in the Club who truly understands Gandhi and knows exactly how to embrace the spirit of the 'Father of the Nation' on his birth anniversary, it has to be Jagmohan Papneja. He did not turn up today, busy as he was with multifarious social activities associated with the nation-wide celebration.

Business as usual

What’s more, his commitment to those causes does not end today. Yesterday, when he took leave of absence from the morning exercises, he informed he would be preoccupied for an entire week. “It’s going to be a very busy week, devoted entirely to social service,” he said.
For the rest of us who do not understand Gandhi, it was business as usual. After our irksome encounter with the mosquitoes yesterday (see post), we did not take any chances today and retreated to the comfort and safety of the concrete space outside the China Hut. Nahid Khan had resumed (after taking a day off) and kept everyone entertained with her witty one-liners. Santosh Tyagi too was in a jovial mood and came with a fresh series of Santa-Banta jokes. Sunita Jajodia sedulously pursued her new passion for plucking hibiscus from the hedges when (to her) nobody was looking. And then there was Razia Khan, irrepressible and upbeat as always.
There were a few anxious moments though, when suddenly Shekhawat was seen clutching his chest and gasping for air while the exercises wore on. Till then, he was all over the place, joking and gamboling like a mischievous schoolboy. Some of us escorted him to a chair and gave him water to recover. Still, he held on to his chest, face contorted in pain. After about 10 minutes, he was up on his feet – but treading gingerly.
That the pain occurred on the right side of his chest was of small comfort. Could be gas… hopefully.
Jagmohan Papneja:
The Lions Club International Service Week began today with floral tributes to Mahatma Gandhi and Lal Bahadur Shastri on their birthday. Our Versova club, under my presidentship, is taking active part in the Service Week which will go on till October 8. Today we had distributed 50 bags of Anaj Dan, a wheelchair and other items to the needy and under-privileged. We will organise medical camps and other social activities in the coming days. Big Laaf members are welcome to avail of these benefits and give us a chance to serve them.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Jagmohan-ji, we are really proud to have you in our laughter group.

Mosquito Menace

How best to deal with the deadly mosquitoes?

The warm, welcoming rays of the morning sun emboldened us to return to our favorite spot for exercises in the Garden. It was a big blunder. The receding monsoon had left behind a thick carpet of wet, untidy grass that had become the breeding ground for a host of gnats, mosquitoes and such assorted flying and stinging insects. Ideally, we should have continued to exercise on cold concrete, close to the China Hut and allowed the grass in the Garden to dry, if not be cropped.
Before long, the blame game began.

Negotiating the dense foliage

The ladies accused the men of being irresponsible and leading them to the soggy soil to get the bottoms of their salwars and track pants wet in the moist grass. Shekhawat argued that it was for their benefit he had chosen the wide open space with fresh air as they had all along been complaining of stuffiness and Nafisa Sayyad, in particular, used to keep fanning herself. “She is still fanning herself,” Yusuf Rassiwala pointed out. “Now should we install a pedestal fan for her out here?”
The ladies continued to grumble and shift position constantly. Santosh Tyagi had difficulty balancing herself in the soft, spongy grass while Razia Khan, who was conducting the exercises, lost her patience with the salwar bottom which had turned wet and muddy. “You should provide us with skirts,” she demanded. “From tomorrow, we will all come wearing skirts!”
“What is your problem?" Jagmohan Papneja intervened. "What do you fear?”
“There’s nothing to fear,” Sardar Teja Singh said comfortingly.
“Machhar,” shrieked the ladies in unison. “The mosquitoes are everywhere…”
Indeed, swarms of them hovered around in clusters all over the place. Monthi Serrao presented a comical sight as she literally tip-toed into the Garden, one step at a time and sending up clouds of insects on her way across the tall, wet grass. With the ‘dengue alert’ on in the city, we were exposing ourselves to a very clear and present danger in the middle of the Garden.
Srichand Arora from Singapore:
My suggestion is to request Jagmohan-ji to get a mosquito net fixed all over the Garden through Celebration Club.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Razia's secret is exposed: She fears insects. That's what terrifies her more than anything. Insects.

Insider Joke

Ram Shankar Shukla

Ram Shankar Shukla came in today sounding exactly like Amitabh Bachchan. Tall as he is, this elderly gent (also from U.P.) had contracted a nasty cold and sore throat which turned his voice into a deep baritone – much like that of the movie megastar. While we consoled him with flattering words, suggesting that his was a voice actors would die for and that he should better become a dubbing artiste now, Shukla was brought firmly to terra firma the moment Shekhawat entered the Garden.
Addressing him as ‘Qutub Minar-ji’, Shekhawat wanted to know what he had done during the weekend. Shukla could just about open his mouth when Shekhawat sprang back, clapping in glee. “Bus, bus… you don’t have to say any more. I have understood. You must have gone to one of your gurukuls. How is Shilpi Devi?” Seeing Shekhawat so delighted, Shukla sportingly played along.
Now, this is somewhat an insider joke that has become progressively public.

Nahid Khan brings blessings from Ajmer Sharif Dargah

Shukla happens to run a chain of coaching institutes around Mumbai for under-privileged students, which he describes as “gurukuls”. But Shekhawat insists on calling them “ashrams” – as in Asaram Bapu’s ashram. To drive home his point, he’d deliberately mention the name of the infamous female aide of the self-styled godman charged with a sex scandal. So much so that when he spotted a broken ladies’ hairclip lying near Shukla’s feet during the exercises, Shekhawat just could not hold himself. Shukla knew what was coming and nervously eyed the hairclip, refusing to pick it up or kick it away. Shekhwat interrupted the exercises, picked up the hairclip with great flourish and to everybody’s amusement, tried to “return Shilpi Devi’s belonging” to Shukla. The latter simply backed away, raising both his hands as high as he could, as though fearing the clip would bite him any moment.
Nahid Khan was also there this morning, looking tired and pale from a trip to Ajmer. Nevertheless, she conducted the exercises and in the end, distributed rewdi and chana from the shrine of 12th century sufi saint, Moinuddin Chisti.

Day 1138

Pic of the Week

WHOOO... NOW WHERE DID THIS ONE COME FROM!?!

The person in this photograph has created his own visual style. Let it be unique and yet identifiable -- something that has come from the Big Laaf family. --Jagmohan Papneja

Cigar bujhade bhaiya, badan main barhi aag hai...वाह क़या लगते हो। छिपालो बदन। कहीं किसी की नज़र ना लगे! --Srichand Arora

Who is this pygmy from Congo? --Yusuf Rassiwala

Runaway Comedy

Uproarious laughter shatters the early morning air

Monthi Serrao distributes special halwa cubes

Like every morning, rip-roaring laughter rang through the Garden -- but with a difference. This time the laughter was genuine, not forced. It went out in waves, one after another, punctuated by clapping and singing till everyone went red in the face, doubling up in tears. It was sheer madness.
From where Santosh Tyagi had dug out those jokes, she alone knows. They were scribbled on paper and in a way it was good she did not have her spectacles today. Arun Patil offered to help, but instead of reading, he chose to sing them out aloud. For, they were the opening lines of popular Hindi film songs which we knew and were only too eager to lend our voices to. What we did not know was that hidden in the lyrics was a clue to an ailment, mostly unmentionable, which was revealed at the end of each chorus. And this hidden meaning was what sent everyone in splits.
So here was a situation where Arun, paper in hand, was leading each number with all others singing with him lustily, only to be told the meaning of the song when it was over. Just five examples:
• ‘Aaj kal paon zameen par nahin padte mere…’ (CORN ON FEET)
• ‘Bidi jalaile, jigar se piya / Jigar ma badi aag hai...’ (ACIDITY)
• ‘Chhupana bhi nahi aata / Jatana bhi nahi aata…’ (PILES)
• ‘Suhani raat dhal chuki / Na jaane tum kab aayoge…’ (CONSTIPATION)
• ‘Tip-tip barsa pani / Pani mein aag laga de…’ (URINARY INFECTION)
Arun could have gone on and on, but by the 12th number we were all exhausted laughing our guts out. Some actually pleaded with him to stop and yet, were not leaving the place. Ultimately, Monthi Serrao had to intervene with a box of colorful halwa cubes, a special Mangalore delicacy, which she had saved for us. It was a fitting finale to a very enjoyable and memorable morning.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Yaar, Arun lagte toh nahin, par ho Chhupe Rustom. Badmashon de naal rehkar erhi badmashiyan hi sikhoge!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Bimari aur gaano ka rishta aapne jora hai, usse Mogambo khush hua!!! Very good diagnosis.

Happy Friday

'Happy Man' Shekhawat

The legend of Happy Friday revisited us today. It is rooted in the belief that on Thursdays we must stay ‘pure’, observe strict abstinence and generally, be the good guy around. Once past the midnight hour, you may revert to being your normal self.
So there’s this good man, a wonderful soul with no vice, except for one weakness – whiskey. He loves the drink so much that before retiring to bed, he must have his favorite tipple. Else, he cannot sleep. On Thursday nights, he waits anxiously for the clock to strike 12 and only after a quick swig would he curl up in bed. Inevitably, he'd be late to rise on Friday, late for exercises, late for everything.
But he’s been a happy man... till disaster struck with a heart seizure. He recovered and stayed off drinks. He became miserable.

Relaxed 'Happy Friday' morning...

Every night, he rearranged the bottles by his bedside and staring at them longingly in the darkness, he would doze off.

Srichand Arora says 'Hi'!

On Friday mornings, he would wake up on time and like any other day, be punctual for the morning exercises.
Today he was late – very late. “What could I do?” Shekhawat blurted out. “Last night I woke up at 1:00 a.m. and after that, I couldn’t get sleep. So I took out a glass, poured myself a drink and after a solid swill, I got my sleep back. Naturally, I had to wake up late!”
Shekhawat is a happy man now. And surely, we are back to Happy Fridays again.
Meanwhile, here’s a message from Singapore, which is self-explanatory: “Hi there, everybody! All is fine here. I thought of informing you about my daily routine in Singapore. I get up at 5:30 a.m. and go out for our morning walk / laughter and physical exercises at the beach which is across the house -- hardly five minutes underpass walk. We come back at 8:45 and after a little rest, settle for the newspaper and a cup of tea. Then around 10:00, bathe and breakfast. At 11:30, I go down with a book and sunbathe by the poolside for about 20/30 minutes. Then it is swimming time. Back home before 1:00 and rest. After lunch, nap toh banta hai naa yaaron. Shyam ko we are either home or out with children and grand children. Saturdays are for dinner out and Sundays, lunch out. All shopping is kept pending for Saturday and Sunday." –Srichand Arora
Some addictions are indeed hard to break -- no matter how and where you are. Staying connected to the Club is one.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Shekhawat-ji does not have a drinking problem... except for when he cannot get a drink!

New 'Teacher'

IN FULL FLOW: Arun Patil gleefully conducts today's exercises 

Arun Patil today paid the price for protesting too much. He had just about entered the Garden, when Razia Khan directed him to stand in the middle and conduct the exercises. He had no escape. Sitaram Hivarkar had also instructed him yesterday (see post) to take charge since Arun was finding too many faults in the manner the exercises were being conducted.
Surprisingly, for a fresher, Arun turned out to be flawless. He took to his new role like a fish takes to water – pacing each exercise evenly, getting the sequence pitch perfect, introducing appropriate pauses… not fumbling once and never goofing up. The only complaint anyone could have had was that he was pushing through a little faster than what we are accustomed to. In fact, at one point Khatoon Baig had to request him to slow down a bit as she was running out of breath.

Jagmohan Papneja with son's article

At another point, Jagmohan Papneja corrected him when he gave a yogic name for the penultimate stretching exercise. Otherwise, by and large, the session was wrapped up to everyone's satisfaction without event or delay.
Jagmohan had a proud moment to share today when he informed about an article by his son, Umang Papneja published in The Times of India (Mumbai edition) the day before yesterday. The piece, ‘If You Fail to Plan, You Are Planning to Fail’ is an advisory on smart investing, understanding market trends and risk factors and the common errors of commission and omission investors commit. Umang is a finance whiz working as chief investment officer with India Infoline Private Wealth.
On his part, Hari Singh Shekhawat was to make the announcement on an excursion to Matheran, a popular hill-station close to Mumbai. It would be a weekend getaway (with overnight stay) scheduled for November 9 and 10, 2013 (Saturday and Sunday). Arun has been instructed to work out the logistics and if needed, book hotel rooms for 30 people right away. Shekhawat has offered to put the requisite booking amount in advance.
Jagmohan Papneja:
As the new teacher, Arun-ji's success was because of his gracefully accepting the challenge thrown at him yesterday. He has proved that nothing is impossible when attempted with confidence.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Arun dear, Congrats! Keep it up!!!

Follow the Leader

PUNCHING BAG: What is LEFT and who is RIGHT?

In any concerted group activity, to follow the leader is a given. You never question your leader – unless of course, you belong to the Big Laaf Club of Bombay. Here, the leader is the person who conducts the exercises for the morning, but eventually becomes fair game to a swirl of jokes and jibes from all directions, until s/he is rendered thoroughly confused and dysfunctional.
That’s how we like it. We enjoy riddling our ‘leaders’ and if Razia Khan were to be in the middle (as it was today), our day is made. Regardless of whether she is in the right or wrong, we do not want to follow her because she is our favorite punching bag. And when she pauses between exercises to pull up someone or perhaps rearrange her clothes, even bounce off an Urdu couplet, the fun really begins. She does not realize that the rhythm of exercising has been broken and with some like Arun Patil constantly gunning for her, all hell breaks loose. We like that also.
Today, she got into an altercation with Arun (who else?) over what turning the head left to right meant. In Arun’s eyes, it was right-to-left because they were facing each other. All those behind her in the circle had no difficulty interpreting her command, but Arun had successfully confused the others facing Razia. Again, when it came to clockwise and anti-clockwise movement of the waist, confusion resurfaced.

Late BAPU RANE

Razia’s clockwise action was anti-clockwise in Arun’s eyes and he accused her of misleading everyone. Something as basic as this turned into a major hullaballoo, till Sitaram Hivarkar intervened. “She is right," he pronounced. "Tomorrow Patil will stand in the middle and conduct the exercises.”
The fun was not over yet. Sulking, Arun continued to exercise and then made a disparaging remark (unprintable) about “gobar (cow dung) falling in the middle…” Razia overheard gobar as “Grover falling” and ran up to Arun to confirm. Arun repeated “gobar”, but she insisted he had said Grover and demanded why he was now bent upon picking on a peaceful person like Ved Prakash Grover. Arun simply gave up.
In between this comedy of errors, Shekhawat unwittingly made a heartwarming statement. It has been his habit to punctuate the exercises with a clarion call, “Rane ready!?!” Bapu Rane is no more, but Shekhawat persists with the practice. Today, when he shouted, “Rane, ready!” some ladies remarked that it may be not proper to awaken a dead man’s soul and we could even be disturbing him. Shekhawat retorted: “So long as this Club exists, Rane ready rahega. Rane will be ‘ready’ every morning for us.”
What a wonderful way to remember a dear, departed friend!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Sometimes joy can be the source of your sabre-rattling. And sometimes sabre-rattling can be the source of your joy. This is what we have been watching for quite some time in our Club and it was apparent very much today especially.

Stop-gap Picnic

RAIN-BATHED GARDEN: Shades of green, upon green, upon green...

Another dark and wet morning with only seven-and-half people, two sad crows and a few earthworms in attendance. Most of the ladies – including regulars like Santosh Tyagi, Monthi Serrao and Geeta Sardana – stayed away.
But Hari Singh Shekhawat was there. Possessed by the spirits of Bangkok and Pattaya, he came in clutching an umbrella, struggling against raging winds and relentless rain, only to settle into his designated plastic chair at a corner.

Shekhawat weighs his options on Bangkok-Pattaya

He wasn’t much interested in exercising today. What mattered obviously were the options available to him for setting out on the mid-November tour.
Taking stock of the situation, he realized that even as mid-November (i.e. post Diwali) was non-peak season, all tour operators were out to make a killing by charging upwards of Rs27,000 per ticket. In December, the rate goes up by Rs3,000 (levied as ‘surcharge’) and post-New Year, it would revert to current levels of Rs25,000-odd.
Dubai did not offer much comfort as the rates for a three-day holiday package were upwards of Rs31,000 and done independently, return air tickets alone were Rs16,000-plus.

Nahid Khan

The other option about Kerala that Srichand Arora had given yesterday (see post) would cost Rs12,000 by air and Rs4,000 by train (Duronto Express) for senior citizens on an average. Lodging, local travel, etc. will cost extra. And going by a circular of Central Railway, the idea of booking a separate coach for ourselves looked too complicated and prohibitively expensive.
In the circumstances, Shekhawat felt that it would be prudent not to rush into Bangkok-Pattaya right now and instead, push the trip by a couple of months (i.e. to mid-January 2014) to avail of the off-season benefits. Also, all those without passports would have ample time to get their travel documents in order. In the interim, a local excursion could be organized once Arora is back from Singapore.
Arun Patil suggested Matheran while Shekhawat had in mind a place in Gujarat which had cable cars as a tourist attraction. Both of them would compare the costs and logistics involved and the more convenient option will be taken. Most likely, this ‘stop-gap picnic’ would be scheduled after Dussehra in mid-October, when Shekhawat returns from a visit to his village temple in Rajasthan.
Meanwhile, the mystery behind Nahid Khan’s disappearance has been resolved. She is the most regular lady for the exercises and her absence for the past three days had become a cause for mounting concern. Turns out she is in Ajmer and would return by the month-end.