Who’s the ‘Boss’?

What makes Arun Patil so angry?

Arun Patil was furious today. Coming in early this morning, he spotted scraps of waste paper, plastic and half-eaten food littered around the Garden – obviously, remnants from yesterday. When the watchman feigned ignorance, he waited for the exercises to get over and then gave Jagmohan Papneja a piece of his mind.
“What is all this?” he demanded. “This is an eyesore. And then we talk about cleanliness drive. Why don’t you put up notices everywhere telling people to keep the Garden clean? I am prepared to pay for them. People can’t scatter rubbish here and get away with it. They should be punished.

Mallika Kagzi

We must fine them. This is our Garden and we must ensure that it is kept clean.” Papneja is not only the secretary of Big Laaf, he is also the nominated representative of Celebration Club, which is entrusted with the maintenance of the Garden. But more than that, what raised many eyebrows is the manner Arun has of late, been throwing his weight around. In the absence of big daddies like Shekhawat, Srichand Arora and Yusuf Rassiwala, he is the one pulling up members for turning up late, not exercising properly, talking too much and so on.
But then, he is not the only ‘disciplinarian’ trying to appropriate authority. Nahid Khan never misses an opportunity to tick off anyone while conducting the exercises and nowadays, this goes well beyond her clarion call, “Idhaaar!”

Ruksana Khan is back from Surat

Khatoon Baig decides whether the exercises are going too fast or too slow and if some number must be repeated for her benefit. Even Mallika Kagzi has become assertive enough to fault Bijoy Gupta on his loin roar and reminded him today that he better do it properly. Gupta was simply dumbstruck. (Incidentally, he is the 'original' contender for Shekhawat's post!)
This may well be a temporary phenomenon -- till such time the biggies return. But to anyone perceptive enough, the subtle power play is getting hilarious by the day. Everybody wants to be the boss. And in all this madness, Ruksana Khan was to show up today loaded with two cardboard boxes – one with cake biscuits and the other with nankhatai. Whether those were to mark her return from Surat, or if they were a belated birthday treat or Diwali celebration… nobody knows for sure. No question was asked and no explanation given. We just ate and went home.
Razia Khan:
Tumse juda huey thhe yeh kalhi ki baat hai,/Mehsoos ho raha hai zamaana guzar gaya.
Aap sabke bagair zindagi mein kuch kami toh nahi,/ Magar aap sabke bagair dil udaas rehta hai.

--sher dedicated to Big Laaf

Jagmohan Papneja:
मौजूदगी जरुरी नहीं, जरुरी तप एहसास हैं / हम कहीं दूर नहीं, आपके आस-पास हैं!
देखिये तो ज़रा अपने मन की आँखों से हमें / हम तो हर कदम पर आपके साथ-साथ हैं!

--this sher dedicated to Razia-ji.

Wintry Winds

Morning haze and mellow sunshine in the Garden

With November nearing, the first winds of winter have begun to blow across the Garden. The nights have also begun to lengthen. But it is not too dark in the morning when we meet. Nor is it as bright and humid as it was a fortnight ago. We are normally greeted by a mellow sunshine and occasional gusts of wind which lend cool comfort during the exercises.
But then, nothing can be said for sure about this weather. During the day, it can get incredibly hot and should it start drizzling some morning – as it did last Saturday (ref post) – we shan’t be surprised. What does however, bother us is a real possibility of some viral infection or mosquito-borne disease breaking out. Hospitals are reporting an unprecedented spike in conjunctivitis and dengue cases in the city.
Already there is a growing body of opinion in the Club that attributes Shekhawat’s indisposition to his wearing shorts and tees in this weather – thus leaving his body over-exposed to the Garden’s notorious mosquitos. There is a mischievous interpretation as well, authored by Nahid Khan (in light vein). She insists that the absence of Ruksana Khan and Razia Khan has done Shekhawat in. “They were his right hand and left hand,” she proclaimed. “Razia’s dhoka was too much for him to bear. She said she was going to Pune and went to Malaysia instead. And now, there is Ruksana who said she was going to Surat for two days and still there is no trace of her.”
Fact of the matter is that Shekhawat himself does not know what hit him last Saturday (ref post of October 27). According to his wife, he continues to suffer from cough and cold and of late, has developed acute breathing problems. “The good news is that his fever has subsided since yesterday,” she informed. “But he has become very weak. His stomach is still bad. He can barely talk. So please don’t call him on his mobile. He needs rest. Call me on the landline if you must.” He needs dawa and daru in equal measure, was Jagmohan Papneja's philosophical prescription.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Shekhawat-ji always talks about how we should take care of ourselves. He insists that we must have three pegs of booze daily to remain fit. But he could not save himself now. It means that he does not practice what he preaches.
Razia Khan:
Hi, hope you all are fine by the grace of Almighty, as we are here. We are enjoying a lot. Nowadays we are in Pune. I am very sorry to hear about Shekhawat's illness. Please give my best wishes to him as I pray to the Almighty that he gets well soon. I am coming back on November 6.

Prayer Session?

Arun Patil

Today’s morning exercises turned into a sonorous prayer session – just that, instead of keeping our hands folded, we were furiously flinging our arms about and rolling our heads and hips around in unison. And the culprit for all this was Arun Patil. For reasons best known to him, he had selectively played only religious numbers this morning on his sound box – filmy bhajans, kirtans, hymns… all invocations to Ishwar-Allah.
Funnier still, the sound box was at its best behaviour. Every morning, while playing assorted hits of Kishore Kumar, Rafi, Asha Bhosale and others, the box would abruptly shut down while we were midway through the exercises. Yesterday, when some racy numbers of Yo-Yo Honey Singh and Mika were playing, it became silent within 10 minutes! Arun’s explanation was that the battery had drained out. But today, by some divine intervention, no battery ‘drained out’.

TIME TO REJOICE: Harbans Kaur is back from Pune

And the music played on and on – all because Arun had put those yesteryear devotionals on.
Whether this was plain coincidence or that the music box has a mind of its own, cannot be ascertained. But it must be said that everyone enjoyed the session thoroughly till it lasted. They heard in rapt silence, not uttering a word – except for one occasion when Khatoon Baig drew our attention to a big, fat man on all fours, crawling on the grass like an overgrown baby. Khatoon liked to believe that he not only resembled, but behaved like her one-and-half year old grandson. Or maybe, it was the other way round.
Harbans Kaur woke us from our reverie with a big box of dry fruits and another containing kaju barfi. She had gone to Pune to attend a wedding in the family and returned some time back. Her leg pain had prevented her from making it to the Garden all these days. But today, she took an autorickshaw from home and limped her way in from the Gate with those two big boxes. She described it as a belated ‘Diwali treat’ for the Club.
Jagmohan Papneja:
A true and caring person does not have to speak out loud. What a wonderful way for Mrs Harbans Kaur to share with us the Diwali festival -- which is never too late to celebrate. Our hearty thanks and gratitude for her kind gesture. It will remain in our memory for ever.

Low Turn Out

Wrapping up for the day

Yesterday this blog had reported on Shekhawat being under the weather. But he is not alone. Ved Prakash Grover has for long been exercising seated on a bench / chair because of excruciating pain in the knees and today, he took a break. Sunita Jajodia’s shoulder pain has worsened (such that she cannot even lift her arm) and while she drops by in the Garden early morning, she is unable to join us for the exercises. Likewise, Harbans Kaur suffers from a persistent leg problem that compels her to stay indoors -- in spite of having returned from Pune quite some time back. Sandhya Narang is also home-bound, but with a broken collar bone. And today Monthi Serrao reported sick – thus bringing the attendance this morning down to single-digit.
So it is not only the travel-happy twinkle-toes robbing us of the numbers these days. Illness and sundry physical ailments are equally to blame for the rising absenteeism. And the weather isn’t helping in any way.

Kiran Makharia

After an extended monsoon, we had to suffer a revival of summer heat – the mercury shooting to record heights. And then suddenly, it was drizzly and windy for a couple of days only to be followed by impossible humid conditions this morning. Given this yo-yo weather, viral infections (conjunctivitis included) and diseases are only to be expected.
Yet, there are some who are hale and hearty and still do not attend the exercises. Kiran Makharia, for one, turns up daily at the Garden, but chooses to be fashionably late without fail. In fact, she is usually the last to join the exercises, just as we are ready to wrap up for the day. But this morning she surpassed even herself. Dressed in a red outfit, she entered the Garden and saw us from a distance in the middle of our penultimate exercise. Abruptly she turned around and was out of the Gate in moments.
Now what can be said of such people? She comes this far all the way from home, is perfectly fit and fine, even enters the Garden… and then suddenly takes to her heels!
Jagmohan Papneja:
October is seeing a distinct change of weather pattern from September. We fail to understand how nature truly works. Mrs Kiran Makharia is also very unpredictable. We should take care of ourselves in this changed global warming environment.

Ladies’ Strike!

Shekhawat is unwell

Khatoon Baig announced her arrival today in the Garden with a wry comment: “Looks like ladies are on strike today!” She wasn’t quite off the mark as there were only men to be seen in the exercise circle. Nahid Khan, Mallika Kagzi and all other ladies who report on time every morning were conspicuous by their absence – obviously, because of the holy month of Muharram. Khatoon was the only one among them to be present today.
But then, this was to be expected. With a number of members (men included) traveling at present, the turn-out was bound to dip. When we started this morning, we were no more than four. Arun Patil had to step in the middle in the absence of regulars who conduct the exercises.

Razia Khan and family at Kuala Lumpur's Times Square

Only later, much later, did the numbers swell to around a dozen.
One person who was missed most today was Shekhawat. He is not one to skip the Garden for anything. A call to his house revealed that he has been bed-ridden since Saturday with high fever, sore throat and running stomach. “I prevented him from going to the Garden today,” his wife, Mohankanwar Shekhawat said sternly.
Meanwhile, Razia Khan’s absence has caused a minor stir. Somehow, no one wants to believe that she could have gone to Kuala Lumpur – Jagmohan Papneja even suggesting that her photograph against the iconic Petronas Towers (yesterday’s post) was a hoax.

Lal Khatri invites us to the Guru Nanak Jayanti celebrations

Nahid Khan, Monthi Serrao and others however, insist that Razia is not the sort to lie and when she had said she was off to Pune, that’s where she has to be.
Well, here is another photograph (above) from Kuala Lumpur that should put all doubts to rest. And if this is not conclusive enough, Razia Khan’s son has written in to say that they are returning to Mumbai on October 27, i.e. today. “But we'll be leaving for Pune on the same day,” he adds. “Mumma will come back from Pune by 6th November.”
So while this detour to Pune via Kuala Lumpur is making Papneja consider routing his own trip to Dubai (on November 1) via New Delhi, Lal Khatri of the local Sindhi Panchayat showed up to extend an invitation to the prabhat pheri he is organizing on the occasion of Guru Nanak Jayanti on November 6. A cultural evening by the Lata Bhagtani Musical Group has also been scheduled the same day at Garden No 2, between 6:30 pm and 9:30 pm.
Razia Khan:
Jailer: Suna hain tum shayar ho, kuchh sunao yaar...
Qaidi – 'Gum-e-Ulfat mei jo zindagi kati humari, Jis din jamanat huyi zindagi khatam tumhari'
--------------------
Chali jati hain wo beauty parlour mein yun/ Unka maksad hain misaal-e-hoor ho jana...
Ab kon samjhaye en ladkiyo ko /Mumkin nahi kishmish ka fir se angur ho jana.

(Dedicated to Hari Singh Shekhawat)

Day 1447

Pic of the Week

Twin photos of
PETRONAS TWIN TOWERS
Kuala Lumpur
(Malaysia)









Bhaswati Bose:
Razia has at last found her long-lost twin sister, Bhajiya in Malaysia!
Jagmohan Papneja:
It is difficult to make out from the photograph whether it is taken at Kuala Lumpur or in one of the studios of Pune where album photos are superimposed over the actual site. Who will uncover the mystery?
Dilip Babani:
Razia-ji, your photos are very nice -- as always, charming!

Bereaved

Santosh Tyagi

Santosh Tyagi has lost her father. He was 96. An aggravated heart condition led to his hospitalization last weekend in Delhi -- after which he began to show miraculous signs of recovery. She believed all was well. But this morning, at 0430 hrs, he breathed his last.
A pall of gloom descended on the Garden as news of the demise spread fast. Santosh’s absence was palpable. The heavens also mourned while the skies remained dark and overcast and a steady drizzle forced us to take cover in the shed close to the China Hut for the exercises.

TWO MINUTE SILENCE - Members pray for the departed soul

It normally does not rain at this time of the year.
Santosh was to take the 1230 flight to Delhi today. She was earlier booked for a late night flight on October 23 [ref post of October 20] but by some strange quirk of fate, the flight was cancelled. She did not mind at that time since she was told that her father’s condition was fast improving and moreover, she wanted to meet her son and his family who were returning from an overseas vacation today. No sooner had they landed in the wee hours of the morning than she received the devastating news on phone. She packed her bags immediately and took the first available flight – at 0830 hrs.
We stand beside Santosh and her family in their hour of grief. As a mark of respect towards the dear departed, a two-minute silence was observed soon after the exercises. May his soul rest in peace.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Heartfelt sorrow. Santosh-ji please accept our condolences.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Santosh-ji, we are deeply saddened by the loss of your father. May God put him in a special place with comfort and peace that we have included in our morning prayer. Please accept our heartfelt condolences.
Razia Khan:
I'm extremely sorry to learn about the demise of Santosh's father. May his soul rest in peace. My heartfelt condolences to Santosh-ji and her family.

Surprise Celebration

Hari Naraiyani is back with a box of sweets

Clubs everywhere try to conserve cash. We try to spend. And when we cannot, there would always be a generous soul showing up, bestowing us with unexpected goodies and refreshments. Either we are incredibly lucky to be so deserving; or else, somebody up there must be completely crazy to grant us such a charmed existence.
We were not supposed to have any celebration today after the Diwali treat Jagmohan Papneja gave us yesterday. But out of nowhere, Hari Naraiyani showed up this morning with a box of sweets to celebrate the new year (by the Hindu lunisolar calendar).

Razia Khan on a swing

And if that was no surprise, Mallika Kagzi had a flask full of superb home-made tea to wash it all down.
Naraiyani had gone missing for the past six months or so, after he lost his wife. But he was not sitting idle at home as we had imagined.

Mallika Kagzi serves hot-hot tea from home

He gave us a vivid account of what he has been up to all this while – an extended sojourn at Beas (near Amritsar) where his spiritual guru is based, a trip to Mohali to watch cricket, another trip to Sharjah where his son runs a hotel… and so on. He said he has been constantly travelling, but used to miss us all along. “How can I forget my Club?” said the 83-year-old. “So upon returning to Mumbai, I felt I must meet you all with a box of sweets. Today is an auspicious day.”
If Naraiyani has been travelling, a mystery seems to be growing around the whereabouts of Razia Khan. Before leaving, she had announced that she was off to Pune (ref post of October 18). But now it appears that she is anywhere but Pune. After several (unconfirmed) sightings by different people at the oddest of places – one even suggesting that she was seen with family in Malaysia – a little bird dropped this picture (above left) for our consumption. What are we to make of it?
Jagmohan Papneja
Before leaving Razia told us that she would be going to Pune. Whether she has gone somewhere else or to Malaysia will be known after her return.

Diwali 2014

HAPPY DIWALI: Barfis for all from Jagmohan Papneja

Lord Ram and his retinue return to Ayodhya today. It takes them every year 20 days to travel the distance from Sri Lanka after making mincemeat of the demon king, Ravan on Vijaya Dashami day. Such is the belief. And it is in celebration of Ram’s homecoming that strings of lamps and firecrackers are lit on Diwali.
Today is also the day when the benign Goddess Durga (Parvati, if you like) assumes a fierce form and appears as Goddess Kali – hair open and blow-dried, with a garland of skulls around her neck and a belt of dismembered human limbs around her waist – red tongue hanging out and brandishing an unsheathed sword dripping with blood. Such is the belief.

Bihari Milwani

And it is to invoke her blessings that many are also celebrating Kali Puja today.
At the Garden though, our celebrations were contained to distribution of sweets, thanks entirely to Jagmohan Papneja. Were it not for him, our Diwali would have gone dry. He had brought the barfis not only for us, but for every single person in the Garden – such is his large-heartedness and more importantly, the spirit of festive cheer that he so thoughtfully ushered in early morning.
After this surprise treat, the Diwali celebrations slated for tomorrow have been rendered redundant. And Monthi Serrao will not be dipping into the Club’s funds (ref yesterday’s post) for the moment. But this decision was taken for good reason and was appreciated by all present. We now have to find a better reason to spend the Club’s money!
Meanwhile, in keeping with the current exodus of members, Bihari Milwani today took off for Bournemouth, U.K. to meet his grandson. He sends his Diwali greetings and says he’d be back on November 10. Let us also wish him a Happy Diwali as well as a safe and enjoyable trip.
Renu Babani:
Wishing everyone a happy Diwali and prosperous New Year -- a year filled with peace, joy and everlasting happiness!!!
Jagmohan Papneja
The reasons behind celebrating Diwali differ from one state to another and this has been outlined in the blog. But it is the festival of lights even today and projects our rich and glorious past.

Reason to Spend

Monthi takes a dig at Angad Singh

Monthi Serrao was a happy lady today. As treasurer of the Club, she had always been hard-pressed at explaining what she’d do with all the cash collected from members by way of subscriptions. Finally, this morning, she was given a good reason to spend some of that money: DIWALI.
In the past, Diwali sweets (as indeed all treats in the Club) have been bought from contributions, jointly or individually – the idea being not to disturb the corpus with our bank. Over time, we were faced with a rather piquant situation of making only deposits and not withdrawing any cash. Not that we were sitting on a fortune, but still, questions were raised on whether we would ever get to spend the money in our lifetime.
In fact, the other day, when Angad Singh was inducted as member (ref post of October 17), his first question was whether the Club had any plans in place for spending the money.

Fehmida Khan: Lots of Charbi'

“Yes, we spend it on parties,” Monthi replied.
“But in the past six months, I have not seen any party,” he countered. Srichand Arora promptly told him that if he had second thoughts, he need not join the Club. “We cannot compel anyone to pay subscription,” he explained. “You may think it over.”
Monthi got the opportunity to bring this up (nay in light vein) with Angad Singh today when the Diwali plans were announced. Jagmohan Papneja offered to pick up the luddoos from Tewari Sweets in Juhu tomorrow evening, in time for the festive treat on October 24 morning.
Meanwhile, outside the Garden gate, a couple of overfed females set up shop to instill the fear of death in people – unless they signed up with a certain Just 4U Nutrition Center. It was a joke. But still, a big crowd had gathered and everyone was made to hold a device (supposedly, a ‘body fat analyzer’) that produced instant readings on body fat, visceral fat, sub-cutaneous fat, etc. Not a single person turned out normal. And they were all routinely directed to report to an address opposite Kokilaben Hospital if they wanted to be alive.
Fact is the Garden has become a fertile catchment area for dubious entrepreneurs preying upon the health concerns of gullible senior citizens.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Ms Monthi Serrao was forthcoming in informing us that we have been depositing the club subscription in the bank but there is no withdrawal for a long time. She fears that if the status quo remains, our account may be classified as dormant. She was happy to withdraw a small amount for celebrating Diwali which will reactivate our account. On the occasion of Diwali, this is wishing you all a very happy, prosperous and safe celebration. May the festival bring happiness and success to all members and readers. Cheers!
Dilip Babani:
Happy Diwali and Happy New Year to everybody!

“Hot Ladies”

The ladies are on their own trip... individually 

That Santosh Tyagi is capable of wicked wisecracks is a well-known fact. But whoever knew that she is also capable of unleashing her unique brand of humour with a perfect sense of timing? So this morning when she was to suddenly describe the ladies of the Club (not excluding herself) as “hot”, the effect was simply jaw dropping.
It all began with Mallika Kagzi straying away from her self-assigned position in the circle (among the ladies) to exercise in the midst of the men. Not that it mattered to anybody. But after some time, when she returned to her original position, a few eyebrows went up.

Ruksana Khan

Mallika’s reply was that it was “too cold out there” where the men stood!
Probably she meant that the area was too shaded or perhaps, the grass out there was still wet with dew. But Santosh did not wait for her to clarify. “Yes, yes… come back, we are hot ladies!” she retorted aloud, taking Mallika completely by surprise. Only someone as witty and with a terrific presence of mind could make with such a provocative remark -- that too, when her father is ailing and mentally, she is already in Delhi (ref yesterday’s post). Quite clearly, she did not want others to be affected by her personal distress and anxiety.
For better or for worse, the import of that remark was drowned in uproarious laughter -- even as the men looked sheepishly at one another, suitably embarrassed – barring of course, Shekhawat. He took it upon himself to prove that men are no cold fish and on a whim, insisted that he be flanked by females on either side while the exercises wore on. In the absence of Razia Khan, he began entreating Ruksana Khan and when she departed complaining of sore feet, he targeted Fehmida Khan. She gladly agreed to stand in, but from tomorrow.
That should suit Shekhawat fine because from tomorrow, Ruksana will be away at Surat. She joins the off-season exodus (ref yesterday’s post) and like most others, isn’t sure when she would be back.
Jagmohan Papneja:
The happiest people don't always have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. This is true for our club members -- more so for Santosh-ji.

Unseasonal Exodus

Arora lends moral support to Santosh Tyagi

Geeta is the last to sign up for the Darjeeling tour

Every year, the Club witnesses an exodus of members on two occasions: once, when schools and colleges are shut for the summer vacation in May-June; and the second time, just before Dussehra, during the Navratri festivities. This year though, hardly anybody went out of town on either occasion. But soon after Dussehra, Shekhawat made a trip to Rajasthan and was followed by Razia Khan, presently in Pune.
Now it is Santosh Tyagi’s turn to pack her bags. This morning she informed the Club that her father had been hospitalized in Delhi with a serious heart condition and the earliest she could get herself a ticket is for a midnight flight on Thursday, October 23. She said that at age 94, her father has been in the pink of health with no complaints on BP, diabetes or any age-related problem seniors suffer from. Yesterday she was informed that he had contracted lung congestion and before long, had to be hospitalized. It turned out to be a heart stroke with 90 per cent blockage.
Today, during the exercises, she called her brother in Delhi for an update and was relieved to learn that her dad was doing well. “He is not only alert and responding to treatment, but is cracking jokes with the nurses attending on him,” Santosh told us with a faint smile. On behalf of the Club, Srichand Arora assured her that we were all at her beck and call, if and when we could be of any assistance to her.
In keeping with the unseasonal exodus, Arora himself would be leaving – this time for Singapore, to celebrate Diwali with his son. He usually goes there every year on Ganesh Chaturthi, but this year he was unable to do so. So he is making up for it by spending a fortnight there now. He takes a late-night flight today and will be back on November 3. We wish him and his wife, Kiran a safe and happy celebration.
Srichand Arora:
Jab Salman Bodyguard Bun Sakta Hai, Pappu Pass Ho Sakta Hai, Munni Badnam Ho Sakti Hai, Sheela Jawan Ho Sakti Hai, Pyaaz 80 rupees kilo Ho Sakta Hai, Saniya Pakistan Mey Shadi Kar Sakti Hai, Character Dheela Ho Sakta Hai, 7 Khoon Maaf Ho Sakte Hai, Mallika Jalebi Bai Ho Sakti Hai, 12 Mahine Me 12 Tarike Se Pyaar Ho Sakta Hai... Toh Phir Main Doh Din Pehle Diwali Wish Nahi Kar Sakta Kya? Wish You a Happy Diwali!
Jagmohan Papneja:
* Arora-ji, you can do anything and everything. We know you'd do so when you bring a box of Diwali sweets on your return. Thanks for your greetings. I warmly reciprocate and wish a very Happy Diwali for you and your family.
* All those who have gone out of Mumbai, hope you have a safe and enjoyable trip. We are eagerly waiting for you in the Garden with greed and to carry out an extra laugh.

Day 1440

Pic of the Week

THE FIRST TO CAST HIS VOTE LAST WEDNESDAY

Jagmohan Papneja:
Voting is an expression of our commitment to democracy. We ought to exercise this fundamental right.

Going Gung Ho

Discussions in the Darjeeling-Gangtok group

Having survived the houries of Rajasthan – sundry saalis and notorious chudails included – Hari Singh Shekhawat today returned to the Garden with an extra spring in his step. Dressed in a smart yellow t-shirt and denim shorts, he declared giddily, “Ek ke peechchey unniss!” thus boasting of being the only male among 19 females on the trip to Darjeeling-Gangtok, scheduled next year for March 28 - April 2.
Already Monthi Serrao and Bhaswati Bose have done the groundwork for him by drawing up a list of the tour members, collecting an advance from each for hotel bookings and arranging for local travel and logistics at Darjeeling and Gangtok.

Razia Khan

In effect, they have eliminated the "dol-dols” – a peculiar term coined by Shekhawat to describe persons in two minds over joining a trip.
So today, when Bijoy Gupta innocently asked what the trip was about, Shekhawat nearly lost his temper: “After narrating the full Ramayan, you want to know who was Sita?” Fact is, like Gupta, there are many who are disappointed about not making it to the final list of 20 and are now complaining of being kept in the dark. For their benefit, Monthi and Bhaswati are now contemplating a second trip, the only problem being that the tourism season in those parts is restricted to two months only -- April and May. (After that, monsoon sets in, followed by bone-chilling winter.) So the second trip, if at all, has to be planned right away, or else, hotel bookings would dry up. Incidentally, more than a dozen people have already enlisted for it.
Meanwhile, Razia Khan (who cannot join this trip because of her grandchildren’s exams) is leaving for Pune and has taken leave of absence from the Garden till mid-November. It is one of those coincidences we have got used to in the Club: one person comes back, another person leaves…
Jagmohan Papneja:
Before the trip, Shekhawat-ji -- Paancho ungali ghee mein, sar kadai mein.
On or after the trip, Shekhawat-ji -- Chaaro khane chit!

The Visit

Najma Sayyad surveys the Garden from her perch  

What would you say of an elderly lady, burdened by age and adiposity, longing to see us for the past seven months? That she has been in no state to stir out on her own and there was nobody at home to escort her to the Garden – so busy are they with their own lives? That she wasn’t inclined to meet us in small groups in her house but wanted to see us all together during our exercises? That only after her daughter-in-law had found her sobbing one day in bed that her meeting with us was arranged’ – her son escorting her to the Garden this morning.
Najma Sayyad suffers from crippling overweight issues caused largely by a hormonal disbalance. We have been keeping track of her treatment, but of late, apparently, her dieticians and nutritionists had given up.

Angad Singh is 'capped' by Papneja

Osteoporosis has set in and her legs are no longer able to bear her weight. Knee replacement surgery is not feasible. Let alone walk, she requires support to stand. According to her neighbor Khatoon Baig (who has been updating us regularly), she has had several bad falls at home, her knees buckling under her weight.

Wrap-up with Najma's samosas

Still, Khatoon was to lead Najma (with her son protectively supporting her from behind) into the Garden while the exercises were on. A chair was promptly placed in the circle and she took her position as she used to in the past. It was a lovely sight – the lady sitting majestically, observing us with a detached look, members breaking out of the exercises to wish her one by one… and suddenly, it was all over. She wanted to go back. “I can’t sit for too long,” she said apologetically. “I came just to see you all. Now I can go back happy.” As a 'parting gift', she left behind a big packet of samosas on a bench.
The exercises continued after she was gone and then there was a small formality to be completed. Angad Singh was formally inducted as a Big Laaf member with Jagmohan Papneja ‘crowning’ him with the blue Club cap. It was a brief and unfussy ceremony, followed by a round of the samosas Najma had so thoughtfully brought for us.
Srichand Arora:
Angad-ji, you are most welcome to the BIG LAAF family.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Let us be grateful to Najma-ji who has come all the way to the Garden in a critical health condition to meet us. This reflects her emotional attachment with club members. We pray to the Almighty to shower her with grace and blessings.
We are pleased that Lt Col (retd) Angad Singh has accepted our traditional cap and become member of the Club. We welcome him wholeheartedly.

Back to Normal

All is hunky dory with Sunita Jajodia (in blue saree)

Amid all the madness and hullabaloo every morning, what has gone unnoticed is that Sunita Jajodia is back for the exercises. Not very long back, she had stomped away angrily from the Garden (ref post of September 24) over what turned out to be a ‘prestige issue’ and since then, while showing up every morning in the China Hut, she has refused to join the exercises. Now things are happily back to normal.
It has not been easy though. All these days, she had been gently and repeatedly coaxed and cajoled by seniors of the Club to swallow her pride and return for the exercises, but she remained adamant.

Bose Babu

Even Bose Babu, the villain of the piece, had apologized publicly for hurting her feelings, but she has been steadfast in her stand that “you cannot slap someone and say sorry later”.
Indeed, Bose Babu has this obnoxious habit of ticking off anybody who does not fall in line with majority opinion or violates the Club’s discipline. He did it earlier with Geeta Sardana and then, with Ramila Mistry.

Tara Chand Seth

Sunita has been the third in line. Significantly, he does not have the guts to pull up any of the men, no matter what they do. In that sense, he is a proven coward.
So it took Srichand Arora’s infinite powers of persuasion for Sunita to come around and retrace her steps for the exercises. Santosh Tyagi promptly thanked Arora for “convincing her friend to return” and everybody clapped to welcome Sunita back. She too understood that within a family there are bound to be differences, but that cannot be a reason for members to break away. “A family without disputes is an abnormal family,” Arora reiterated.
Meanwhile, the blog must apologise for a serious lapse. We did not take note of Tara Chand Seth’s birthday yesterday. This is inexcusable, more so as he has been away in Delhi for well over six months. Late evening though, we caught up with him on phone while he was in the middle of cutting his birthday cake. He sounded immensely touched upon being told that we miss him and the call was essentially to wish him, on behalf on the Club, a happier and healthier life ahead. He promised to be back with us by mid-December.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Every parting is a form of sorrow, just as every reunion is a type of happiness. Sunita-ji must have felt this.
Srichand Arora:
* Tara Chand-ji, we all wish you a very happy (belated) birthday. And we all are waiting here for a good treat. Come soon to celebrate with us. In the meantime, please take full care of your health and enjoy with your family. May God bless you dear!
* Has anyone noticed that our Bose Babu is holding his umbrella like Patrakar Popatlal in Tarak Mehta ka Chashma?

Poll Holiday

Pushpa and Bijoy Gupta

Today being a ‘public holiday’ because of the assembly polls, the Garden wore a festive look since early morning. People, not seen for long, showed up in colorful holiday gear enroute to the polling booths close by. A nattily dressed Bijoy Gupta appeared with his wife and they took part in the exercises together. Jagmohan Papneja arrived a little late, but he had an inked finger to show for what had delayed him today.
But much of the activity was concentrated around Monthi Serrao and Bhaswati Bose who were wrapping up the bookings for the Darjeeling-Gangtok trip today (ref: yesterday’s post). Apparently they had exceeded their limit of enlisting 20 persons and were seen refusing members and their money with the assurance they would be accommodated on a “second trip”.

Taking stock of the Darjeeling-Gangtok group composition

When that would be is anybody’s guess.
Meanwhile, what became the cause of much laughter and ribaldry was that Shekhawat happens to be the only male from the Club in the confirmed list of 20. None of the regular ‘picnickers’ like Yusuf Rassiwala, Srichand Arora and Arun Patil are going this time. While some seniors politely described this as an “all-ladies’ picnic”, Nahid Khan could not help remarking that it will be “mauja-hi-mauja” for Shekhawat. “No wonder he claims to hold a license to fool around,” commented Arora. Others expressed concern over Shekhawat’s wife who will have to hold him on a tight leash right through the trip.
When Shekhawat was informed on phone about his unusual “stroke of luck”, he burst out laughing uncontrollably. “I just can’t believe it,” he exclaimed. “You mean I will be the only gents among 19 gopis?!!” What remained unsaid was that he cannot wait for the next six months to pass.
Jagmohan Papneja:
A great wind is blowing for Shekawat-ji. This will give him a better imagination before the trip and headache thereafter. One should remember that the drum sounds better at a distance.

Windfall!

Monthi and Bhaswati busy collecting cash for Darjeeling-Gangtok

The Club today witnessed a rare but hilarious sight of a ‘cash shower’ on two unlikely persons – Monthi Serrao and Bhaswati Bose. With one day left for bookings to close on the Darjeeling-Gangtok tour (ref post of October 10) the two ladies were hard-pressed on counting the cash from members eager to join the excursion. The bookings were made on a first-come first-served basis as no more than 20 people can be accommodated this time.
The fun part was when Bhaswati and Monthi panicked upon realizing they had collected more than a lakh of rupees – money they had neither expected nor knew how to handle. The bigger question was how to ‘transport’ the money home. “So many people in the Garden have seen us counting the cash here,” Bhaswati mused.

Santosh Tyagi

“What happens if somebody were to follow us outside the Gate and mug us?”
The ladies were obviously planning to split the money between them and walk out with the currency notes stuffed in their pockets. “If that were to happen, it can happen inside the Garden also, right here and now,” countered an equally nervous Monthi. "What can we do if somebody grabs all this money and runs out at full speed?'
The two sat on a bench and reflected aloud on all possible worse-case scenarios till they were thoroughly shaken out of their wits. Ultimately, Santosh Tyagi offered to play bodyguard and instill some confidence in them. It was decided that Monthi should keep all the cash and Santosh would escort her home, preferably in an autorickshaw.
“You should not be walking home today,” Santosh cautioned her. “If someone attempts to strike a conversation on your way out, pretend you are deaf. Be on your guard, fully alert. Do not wish anyone even if the person looks familiar. And under no circumstances must you stop while walking towards the Gate. Just smile at people if you have to and keep on walking till you get into an autorickshaw. Don’t worry, I am with you!”
From all appearances, it was MISSION SUCCESSFUL.
Jagmohan Papneja:
I feel it was the duty of all those who had paid the booking amount to drop Monthi-ji home safely. Finally it was Santosh Tyagi-ji who extended help voluntarily to escort her. This act of hers is quite appreciable.

Eyes and Ears

Ved Prakash Grover

When someone is as principled and as punctual as Ved Prakash Grover, absence becomes larger than presence. Even arriving late for the exercises can become a big event. He is usually the first from the Club to arrive at the Garden and the last to leave after the yoga session. So today, when he turned up late by about ten minutes, we simply could not believe our eyes.
How could Ved Prakash Grover be late!
His simple and matter-of-fact explanation of having overslept this morning did not cut any ice. “Aankh lag gayi thi,” was the expression he used and Srichand Arora, Nahid Khan, Razia Khan et al were not buying any of it.

Arora strains his ears to catch Santosh Tyagi's jokes

Arora, who was conducting the exercises today, started quibbling over ‘Aankh lag gayi’ and ‘Aankh ladh gayi’, much to Grover’s dismay and acute embarrassment.
Fortunately for him, Razia came to his rescue by bringing up her conjunctivitis condition (ref post of October 9) and how she had to face similar taunts from friends.

Arun Patil

“How do you convince people that you are not responsible for your eye infection?” complained Razia, who is almost healed now. “Then also I had to hear aankh ladh gayi. The whole issue is about the eyes!”
If the eyes were the cause of so much agitation for Grover and Razia, Arora (who incidentally started it all) had to face a different tune for his ears. We all know that he is a little hard of hearing and quite sportingly, he has never shied away from this fact. But today, Arun Patil took a dig at him, hoping that it would go unheard. Arora had pulled up Santosh Tyagi for not rolling her arms properly, insisting that they should touch the ears every time. Instantly, Arun quipped: “When our words don’t reach your ears, how do you expect the arms to touch our ears?” Arora heard him correct, but demanded that Arun say that again. He repeated himself. And Arora being Arora, turned the taunt around on Arun, praising him for his level of intelligence. Of such jokes and jibes are our mornings made.

Day 1433

Pic of the Week

Is he also aspiring to be prime minister?

Jagmohan Papneja:
It's so true. This can happen only in a democracy -- particularly in a country like India.
Harish Wadhwa:
Arun has that natural instinct to help and share. No wonder he had taken all the trouble to get the chai that day. Amazing, how a simple chai can win hearts, whether it is Arun or politics.

Symbolic Act

The much-touted Cleanliness Drive initiated by Srichand Arora (ref post of October 7) proved literally a washout. The entire Garden, including the walkways, had already been swept and scrubbed clean in our absence with no trace of any litter anywhere. The early morning dew on the neatly cropped grass glistened in the mellow sunshine, the red and white flowers on the hedges smiled and as Jagmohan Papneja pointed out, even the China Hut had been given a fresh coat of paint. Never before had the Garden looked so beautiful.
Clearly, there was nothing left for us to sweep. And in any case, no brooms were brought, much to Monthi Serrao’s relief. As our treasurer, she had been dreading the prospect of dipping into the Club’s finances just to purchase brooms. Still, for effect, she made an issue of nobody carrying any broom. “Where are the jhaadus?” she demanded. “Why don’t I see you people carrying jhaadus today?”
Arora however, was determined to set an example on cleanliness and went around the Garden, carefully picking up pieces of scrap with his bare hands – forgotten plastic, food wrappers and dry leaves that had accumulated overnight. There was of course, not much to collect, but this was viewed as a symbolic act and the message went out loud and clear: Keep your surroundings clean.
No wonder this man commands such a huge fan following and is held in high regard by one and all.
Harish Wadhwa:
Arora-ji was simply searching for his lost mobile in the bushes and not cleaning up!!! LOL

New Fillip

Shekhawat’s long-distance call yesterday has given a new fillip to the Darjeeling-Gangtok trip scheduled next year. Several members suddenly woke up after the exercises this morning and rushed to submit their names to Monthi Serrao and Bhaswati Bose – the two who have been entrusted with organizing local stay and travel for the Club at both destinations.
According to Bhaswati, not more than 20 people can be accommodated on this trip because only 10 rooms could be booked (on a twin-sharing basis) last night in certain premium hotels at both destinations. Even as the trip is well six months away, it being peak tourism season, rooms in good hotels are getting rapidly sold out. “Somehow, we could grab only 10 rooms for ourselves and that too, after readjusting the dates from mid-April to March 28-April 2, 2015,” Bhaswati informed.
In effect, this would be a six-day trip with two nights at Darjeeling and three nights at Gangtok. “Members will be accommodated on a first-come first-serve basis, the cut-off point being at 20 because beyond that we will not be able to take a single person,” Monthi elaborated. “Our first priority will be Club members, then the yoga group and after that, depending upon the availability of rooms, will outsiders be considered. Since a token advance has to be paid to the hotels, please pay 50 per cent of the tour cost and confirm your bookings by October 15. Otherwise we’ll have to let go these rooms also.”
Significantly, Shekhawat would be returning on October 18 and it seems he holds a list of 22 people committed to go on the trip. The list with Bhaswati and Monthi stops at 18, though there are some like Yusuf Rassiwala and Srichand Arora who are yet to commit. How the two lists would be reconciled is anybody’s guess. Only after that would Shekhawat be booking the air tickets to and fro.

All’s Well

Hari Singh Shekhawat

Razia Khan

Shekhawat called from Rajasthan early morning to check if all was well in the Garden during his absence. He wanted to know whether everyone was attending the exercises regularly, that there were no problems and on his part, he informed he was having a gala time there with his childhood friends, even though he had to remain indoors because of heavy rains.
More specifically, Shekhawat wanted to know if there had been any development on the Darjeeling trip front. When told that Khatoon Baig, Naseem Bano and three other ladies were ready with cash and had taken a ‘look out notice’ for him, Shekhawat was overjoyed. “Look, I had predicted that the Darjeeling picnic will be a success,” he chuckled. “I shall be returning on the 18th and in two days I shall complete all collections.”
Shekhawat’s joy was however, short-lived when informed that Razia Khan, his sparring partner for the exercises, had contracted conjunctivitis.

Bihari Milwani purchases Lotto sports shoes from Geeta Sardana

His concern was genuine as he inquired if she was taking proper medication, since when has she been suffering, if she is able to visit the Garden and exercise, etc. He also wished her early recovery and promised to call her later during the day.
Actually it was only today that Razia showed up at the Garden, wearing dark glasses and looking every inch a female don. She said that her eyes had started hurting since Eid (September 6) and after that she has been home-bound. But then, she has taken it well in her stride and in fact, appeared quite cheerful this morning even as many like Monthi Serrao and Geeta Sardana were a little worried about getting too close to her lest they get infected by the virus.
Geeta incidentally, was to make a lovely presentation to Bihari Milwani this morning. She had a pair of Lotto sports shoes to spare, just that no one she knew fitted into the No 10 size. The relief on her face was palpable when Bihari smilingly extended one foot – clearly, the only human being in the Club to have such giant flappers for feet. More importantly, the shoes had found their rightful owner!
Srichand Arora:
Here are three heart-touching statements of Charlie Chaplin I would like to share with everybody:
1. "Nothing is permanent in this world, not even our troubles."
2. "I like walking in the rain, because nobody can see my tears."
3. "The most wasted day in life is the day in which we have not laughed." Keep smiling!