Between Two Stools

Jagmohan Papneja

Like most clubs, we have four types of members: one, those who are regular and punctual; two, those who are regular, but not on time; three, those who abscond for days but when they do show up, they are punctual; and four, those who cannot be trusted with either regularity or punctuality.
Now we are adding a fifth category, and this amusing precedent is being set by Jagmohan Papneja. Over the past few weeks, he has turned unusually irregular and late for the exercises. Not that this matters to anybody. But what has been raising eyebrows, is his peculiar tendency to slink away before the exercises are over.
Quite clearly, he has pressing commitments every day with a senior citizens’ group in the ‘other garden’ and must necessarily divide time between two locations. Significantly, he is secretary there also.

Exercises in progress

In effect, he is adjusting between two stools – or as some members have been commenting, his feet are on two kashtis (boats) these days.
A few ladies today decided to confront him head on as he was making his way out while the exercises were in progress. He managed to dodge them and scrammed.

Kiran Arora

“There is a time for coming in, but there is no time for going out” was the instant refrain, obviously with reference to Srichand Arora’s appeal for punctuality and discipline (ref post of July 24). And here the Club secretary was out to defy him!
Even this would have been overlooked were it not for Papneja’s latest efforts to curtail the exercising time on the specious reasoning that in the other Garden, exercises are over by 7:30 a.m. By and large, everybody ignores him, knowing well that he is the only one to be in a tearing hurry to escape. But today when he tried to rush Razia Khan through the exercises, she snapped back, irritated: “Why the hurry!”
Things would not have reached snapping point were Arora around. He is preoccupied with his wife, Kiran who is due for a knee surgery at Hinduja Hospital on August 3. A stickler for discipline, he has always attended the exercises till the end, even as he is also an office bearer of the senior citizen’s group, like Papneja. He knows that it would be a sad day for our Club if others were to follow suit and abandon the exercises mid-way.
Meanwhile, here’s wishing Kiran Arora the very best on her surgery.
Srichand Arora:
Due to tension over her operation, Kiran's blood sugar shot up suddenly and the doctor has postponed the operation by a week. The sugar level should return to normal by then, hopefully. Now she will be admitted on August 9 morning and operated upon on the 11th. So I am free for the next week. I hope to see all the members tomorrow morning IN TIME. Sorry for being absent for the last four days.
Kiran Prakash:
I wish Kiran-ji the very best on her knee surgery. It was good to know that her blood pressure and sugar has now come to normal. We all pray for her. Take care.
Bihari Milwani:
I suggest Mrs Arora comes to the Garden and sits on a chair and laughs with us. Laughter is the best medicine to remove tension and bring blood pressure to normal level.
Harish Wadhwa:
Wishing all the good health and quick recovery as Kiran Bhabhi-ji plans to go under the knife. Don't worry everything will be fine.

Police Presence

Uniformed cops lurking in the shadows 

It did not rain today, but the streets were deserted. Police pickets had cropped up overnight with cops brandishing loaded carbines. For the first time, bags were searched at the Garden gate and ‘suspicious looking people’ were told by the watchman to step aside.
“What to do,” pleaded the watchman. “The police have told me to frisk everyone and inform them of anything suspicious. I am just following orders.”
Word had got around the Garden that the 1993 blasts’ convict, Yakub Memon had already been executed in Nagpur Central Jail at 5:45 a.m. Some swore by a Hindi TV channel which had supposedly “broken” the news. We all knew this was nothing but wild rumor, but no one argued.

Sandhya Narang pays a surprise visit

It was prudent to stay calm and listen in silence at these times when tension is rife.
“The judge who gave the death sentence must have had a hard time arriving at this decision,” said Nahid Khan while conducting the exercises. “It is not easy to send a man to the gallows.”
“Not really,” replied Jagmohan Papneja. “Judges work under set procedures and deliver a verdict after weighing all points of law.”
“I don’t understand law, but I have feelings,” said Mallika Kagzi.

Deceptive Calm: Business as usual?

“Nobody should be given death penalty.”
“He was my professional colleague,” informed Bihari Milwani. “Yakub Memon was a CA. He was three years younger to me. Today's his birthday.”
Milwani was already talking in past tense. Suddenly three female cops entered the gate and were seen fanning out in the Garden. They zeroed in on a burqa-clad woman sitting on a bench close to where we used to exercise. For a long time they hovered about, obviously interrogating her and in effect, drawing a crowd around them.
When they had gone, Mallika Kagzi cut across the Garden to speak to the burqa-clad woman. Apparently, the cops had been tailing her from Adarsh Nagar petrol station and wanted to know who she was. They checked her handbag and on finding nothing incriminating, left her alone.
Yakub Memon was declared dead at 7:01 a.m. today, according to media reports.
Bihari Milwani:
It is very sad that a member of the noble profession of Chartered Accountancy indulged in harmful activities and was punished with the death penalty.

Right on time!

Welcome back, Qadeer Banoo

Sudden cloudburst catches everybody unawares

Shekhawat is getting big thrills these days on seeing everyone turning up on time for the exercises. Obviously he can still not believe that people (especially those known for late-coming) are capable of being punctual. So be it Bhaswati Bose or Monthi Serrao, Banoo Apa or Bihari Milwani, his eyes would pop out and he’d make an elaborate song and dance of their arrival before actually greeting them. It would start with clapping and “very good-very-good” and then would he wish “Jai Sri Krishna” or “Good Morning”!
All it took was a little straight talk from Srichand Arora last week (ref post of July 24) to bring about punctuality and put things in order. Now, come rain or sunshine, we are having a full house and everyone does the complete exercises (or almost) in right earnest. Even Mohar Singh and Bijoy Gupta, who used to dilly-dally around the Garden and deliberately delay their reporting for the exercises, are now showing up on the dot. The most surprising part is that after the first 15 minutes of grace time, no one ambles in.
The other big surprise was that Qadeer Bano showed up this morning with a box of sweets. We had virtually given up on her after she had gone missing for more than a year. Turns out that she was building a new house for herself in Jaipur (a bungalow, actually) and had to stick around there with her family to supervise the construction. She said the work is finally over and from now on, she’d stay put in her Mumbai home. She sounded a little apologetic for staying away so long without informing, but that was all very fine -- especially when she went on to prove that she still recognizes every member and remembers all our names!
We raised the customary 'fourth laugh' after the exercises to welcome her back.
Bihari Milwani:
Hum nahin sudhrenge!
Kiran Prakash:
It appears that the word 'langar', used by Arora-ji, was understood as 'anchor'. The Urdu meaning of anchor is langar. And therefore everybody got him/herself anchored to the Club. May this langar continue for ever. By the way, what happened to the JUMBO treat?

Gloom Descends

A.P.J.Abdul Kalam

A pall of gloom descended on the Garden this morning as members mourned the passing away of former president A.P.J.Abdul Kalam yesterday. He was addressing students of the Indian Institute of Management at Shillong last evening when he succumbed to a cardiac arrest. He was 83.
“He was active till his last breath,” noted Jagmohan Papneja while breaking the news during the exercises. “What a truly outstanding personality!”

Members mourn President Kalam's demise, observing a two-minute silence

Many like Gupta and Shekhawat were out of the loop as they were engrossed with their daily TV soap in the evening when the end came. As realization dawned, some suggested suspending the laughter round today, but soon decided against it. The former president was said to left ‘instructions’ that there should be no national holiday declared and that work should go on as usual upon his death.
“He was such a great man,” remarked Khatoon Baig, a retired school teacher. “He did not distinguish between rich and poor, high and low, small and big. All were equal in his eyes.”
Santosh Tyagi narrated how her son, Manoj was so crestfallen last evening that he sat holding on to the national award (for films) he had received from the hands of the president a few years back. “It was as though he had lost someone of his own,” she said.
The group dispersed after observing a two-minute silence as a mark of respect for the departed soul.
Bihari Milwani:
When a child enters the world, it cries and the world laughs. Now that APJ is happy to be in God's lap, the world cries!

Pancharatna

All-round applause for Srichand Arora's five grandkids

Proud is the parent every time a child moves up the ladder of life. And privileged are those who are there to celebrate the success of their grandkids at every step. For beyond a point, most of us would much rather live in the reflected glory of our progeny.
Srichand Arora is doing that right now. Today, in the Garden, he announced that his five grand-children, who cleared their 12th standard exams with flying colours, have found their calling with professional courses in some of India’s most prestigious institutions.

Arora celebrates with luddo-pede

Shreya is training to be an architect, Rovin has taken to engineering, Yash wants to be a medical practitioner, Dhvani is a budding chartered accountant and Shivani is doing her hotel management.
These ‘five jewels’ (or pancharatna if you like) have secured admission in colleges against stiff competition, Arora informed.

Nahid Siddiqui also celebrates

In celebration of their success, he distributed luddoo-pedas with tea soon after the exercises and entreated everyone for their good wishes. “All I ask of you are your blessings for these kids,” he said with folded hands.
Arora had another reason to rejoice, though he did not mention it. His efforts at enforcing discipline for the exercises seem to be paying off at last.

Happy Birthday Razia Khan

Not only did we have a reasonably high attendance today, but more importantly, most members reported on time. Even the congenital late latifs came well within the grace period of 15 minutes.
But then, it can always be argued that they had already ‘smelt’ the eats on offer, as is usually the case. For apart from Arora’s treat, there was Nahid Siddiqui today celebrating her birthday (though belatedly) with biscuits and chocolates. It has been ages since she was last seen in the Garden for the exercises.
It was Razia Khan’s birthday also. It seems she has become home-bound after her daughter-in-law left on a visit to Kolkata. Nevertheless, the customary ‘fourth laugh’ was raised for Razia (in absentia) and we wished her many happy returns of the day. We look forward to her return, earlier the better.

Kiran Prakash:
Congratulations Arora-ji on the achievements of your grand children. Nothing can give us more happiness than seeing our children and grand children doing well in their lives. And to you Razia-ji, a very happy birthday and many happy returns of the day. I wish you you a long, healthy and happy life.
Srichand Arora:
Happy Birthday, dear Razia-ji. We at BIG LAAF really miss you. Hope to see you soon.
Anonymous:
Arora-ji, five children in one year i.e. 1998! Was it planning or you got them in Sale before the end of 20th century?
Srichand Arora:
My dear friend, I don't know who you are but I think you have missed a few words in the blog write-up. The achievement is of my GRAND CHILDREN.

DAY 1708

Pic of the Week

A VISION IN MOTION!

This is called commitment. --Bihari Milwani

Lovely photo! --Dilip Babani

Eid Party - III

Banoo Apa praises Zarina's culinary skills

Zarina personally attends to guests

It may rain or it may not; but it surely is raining Eid parties at the Garden this year. Mallika Kagzi was the first to host one on the very day of Eid-ul-Fitr (ref post of July 18). Four days later, Fehmida Khan followed suit (ref post of July 22). Today, it was Zarina Khan’s turn.
It was a lavish spread – a variety of scrumptious crispies and fries, accompanied by fresh-from-the-oven pao, to be washed down with a glass of absolutely divine sheer korma. Zarina could as well have picked up most of the stuff from the market as many of us do.

Shekhawat celebrates his
son's success with a TV soap,
Bhabiji Ghar Par Hai! 

But she stayed up all night (“I did not sleep a wink,” she informed) to prepare them and the labour of her love was evident in every item served.
Yusuf Rassiwala was so taken in by the lip-smacking sheer korma that he kept guiding all and sundry to take repeated refills. Fehmida was seen struggling to fill two glasses (on the request of her friends) only to find the glasses repeatedly disappearing by the time she was done. In the end she gave up. “What to do?” she complained. “I had taken out four glasses this time and when I was filling the fourth, a fat man came from the Garden, finished off the other three glasses and walked away!”
Another man (also a non-member) dropped by to selectively pick a few crispies, stuffed his mouth in front of everybody, and continued with his walk round the Garden. “How could I stop him?” said Swati Punjabi, who was helping with the distribution of food. “I don’t even know him.” But she was more than obliging towards members requesting repeat helpings and of course, those who wanted to carry some extra stuff home.
Being a week-end and with many new and rarely-seen faces showing up, the China Hut had a wonderful festive buzz about it. That it did not rain so ferociously today also added to the free-wheeling, fun-filled atmosphere.
Bihari Milwani:
Zarina ka jadoo chal gaya, Arora-ji ka gussa dhal gaya!

Disciplinary Action

Like a hassled school master out to discipline unruly students, Srichand Arora today made a fervent appeal to members to be in time for the exercises at 7:00 a.m. every day. “At the most a 15-minute relaxation can be granted,” he said.

Banoo Apa complains to Arora of people demanding double share

"Beyond that, no late-coming will be tolerated."
Without naming names, he explained that every morning when we start the exercises, there are no more than four or five members present. The rest are all late-comers who come trickling in casually and on a day when there are eatables on offer, attendance suddenly shoots up to double. “I have not understood how you people smell the food in advance,” he remarked.
Indeed, as Yusuf Rassiwala was celebrating his birthday today (ref yesterday’s post) attendance shot up to 35-plus this morning – something unusual in peak monsoon. Moreover, Monthi Serrao had also brought chocolates to celebrate her grandson, Tian’s birthday yesterday. “If you are looking out for free food, better go to a gurudwara for the langar,” Arora advised. “We come here to exercise and we should be serious about it. This is for our good.”
Bihari Milwani came up with an extraordinary solution to ensure 100 per cent punctuality and attendance.

Yusuf Rassiwala celebrates with choco bars

“Since food is the main attraction, better distribute the food before the exercises start,” he suggested. “And then shut the Garden gate so that nobody runs away,” Bhaswati Bose pitched in amid rousing laughter.
However, Arora said that he was more inclined towards shaming the late-comers by ignoring them. “Don’t serve them anything,” he suggested. “That is the best punishment. They will learn their lesson and be punctual in future.”
He went on to explain that he was compelled to take such a tough stand after what happened to Shekhawat the day-before yesterday (see post): “It can happen to anybody. Shekhawat made arrangements for a certain number of people, I don’t know how many. But on that day, there was more than twice the number and some were even coming in minutes before closing time on the pretext to exercise. Imagine what an embarrassing situation that put him in. He selectively gave away whatever he had, went home, prepared more packages and then sent his driver to the homes of those who he missed out. Is this fair? You have insulted the man!”
The impact of this sermon will be known when Zarina Khan has her Eid celebration tomorrow.
Srichand Arora:
* I once again appeal to my member friends to please be in time for the exercises as this is for your own benefit. Celebration of birthdays (or any other occasion) is only to share our happiness. All of us can afford the foodies. So this should be kept secondary. Our priority is to exercise. Meri haath jod kar aap sub se vinati hai please exercise par dhyan dijiye jo aapki sehat ke liye hai. DHANYAWAD.
* Belated Happy Birthday to our Tian darling. Many happy returns dear. God bless you.
Bihari Milwani:
President Sir, we come for the laughing exercises only. Party is only a by-product which happens even during Ramzaan. The solution lies in exercising your constitutional powers and banning the eats other than biscuits, chocolates and tea. This will help working members to reach office in time.
Anonymous:
It is a Big Laaf, Laaf Laaf. Why is Arora-ji getting angry?
Bhaswati Bose:
Rain, rain, go away /I shall come on time everyday... /But don't take those goodies away/ And please give my calendar some day.

No Picnic

Srichand Arora conducts exercises out in the open

The skies opened up today at 6:00 a.m. sharp – just like yesterday, and the day before. But unlike yesterday (and the day before), the rains abated after an hour and we got the chance to exercise out in the open. But this was a brief reprieve. By 7:30 a.m., it started to pour again and we ran helter-skelter and back into the China Hut.
Given this uncertainty in weather conditions, the picnic idea has been dropped for the moment. Shekhawat had announced earlier (see post of July 14) that a decision would be taken on the destination and date once members return from their Ramzaan break. In the mean time, Monthi Serrao was to check on Wonderland Park in Nerul.

Happy Birthday Yusuf-bhai!

She now informs that the park functions on fixed timings and anyway, it is shut during the monsoon. Various other options were subsequently explored, including some holiday resorts near Dahisar and at Panvel. But nothing looks promising at present. That apart, the initial enthusiasm of embarking on a ‘monsoon picnic’ has died down among members.

Shekhawat explains how to eat dal-bati choorma

There is a lurking, though unspoken fear in many of risking life and limb in wet conditions and no one appears up to it now. So Shekhawat has kept the picnic plans on the back burner – at least till August 15, as he announced today.
Meanwhile, he had to deal with an unusual problem on the dal-baati choorma he distributed yesterday. Many members, including Nahid Khan, Bhaswati Bose and Monthi Serrao had no clue how to consume this traditional Rajasthani delicacy. Swati Punjabi even phoned Shekhawat yesterday seeking his guidance.
Monthi was honest enough to confess that she thought the baati was samosa (but too hard and tasteless) and the dal was chutney (gone bad?), but could not figure out why there was chilli achaar instead of a sweet. “And what was that brown powder?” she asked Shekhawat referring to the choorma. “In future, you should leave instructions on how to eat such things,” she added. Shekhawat simply kept laughing and laughing.
Dilip Babani:
Happy Birthday, Yusuf-bhai.
Bihari Milwani:
Now that everyone knows how tasty Shekawat's treat is and also how to eat it, in all fairness he should repeat the treat at an early date before everyone forgets!
Kiran Prakash:
Happy Birthday, Yusuf-bhai. Many happy returns of the day.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd) from Mohali:
Very many happy returns of the day, Yusuf-bhai.
Harish Wadhwa:
Many, many happy returns of the day, Yusuf-bhai. Wish you a very long and a joyous life.
Srichand Arora:
Yusuf-bhai, aapko janam din ki bahut bahut badhaiyan. Jiyo jab tak chand-taare hain. Doston ke dilon per raaj karo!

June Returns

Fehmida Khan celebrates Eid with sheer-korma and poha

Shekhawat celebrates with dal-baati choorma and biscuits

The June showers are back, coincidentally, after exactly a month. The peculiarity of this rainfall is that it starts regularly around 6:00 in the morning – about the time we would be getting ready to set out for the Garden. For the next one-and-half hours or so, it would pour non-stop and then, just as the exercises get over, normalcy returns. Effectively, it should seem as though nature has got into serious conspiracy to bring down attendance in the Garden during the monsoon months.
Yet, today we had a full house. We started with four clappers only and the number gradually ballooned to 15. By the time we were wrapping up, it had hit 23. And still many were coming in, clearly with no intention to exercise. While a vicious murmur ran through the group, Shekhawat blurted out: “Why are people who are not supposed to come, showing up today?”
“The aroma of sheer korma has reached them,” Fahmida Khan replied sarcastically, referring to the Eid treat she had planned after the exercises.
“No, they have come after getting the smell of dal-baati churma,” said Shekhawat about the treat he too was about to give. Since he had got it all packed in neat little green bags, he was naturally concerned about running out of stock. With so many unwelcome late latifs, his plans had gone for a toss.
This raises a pertinent question, often voiced among the regulars in the Club. In an exercise session of just about 40 minutes, turning up late by five or ten minutes can be overlooked. Even a delay of 15 minutes is tolerable. But beyond 20 minutes and that too habitually, is vulgar. And here we are having some worthies who have no qualms showing up beyond half an hour after the exercises have started – in fact, even five minutes before closing time!
It just goes to prove that they are NOT interested in the exercises. Then why at all take the trouble of coming?
Bihari Milwani:
All are interested in exercises. It is just a question of type of exercise -- physical exercise or eating exercise!
Kiran Prakash:
Everybody has a personal agenda. Some come to exercise, some come to entertain others, some come to get entertained. Some noble souls come to feed people. Some come just to meet people. But the common objective is to eat, drink and make merry.
Anonymous:
I fully agree with the blog. What has not been said is that if you are not a regular, please do not come at the end just to eat. It embarrasses the host who wanted to share some eats with those who come regularly and had not thought that people could join even after prayers. You people must have some norms so that the hosts are not embarrassed. It must be quite painful for them. Kudos to the blog for raising such issues.
Srichand Arora:
I agree with the thoughts of this anonymous writer. I request all members to report for the exercises in time. Being late by 10 to 15 minutes can be tolerated -- but NOT MORE. My suggestion is to punish late-comers by ignoring them without even offering the foodies. Let them realise that regular late-coming is not tolerable. Moreover, how these late-comers "smell out" the foodies is beyond my understanding. Whenever we have some treat, suddenly attendance doubles. People should come to the Garden for the laughter and exercises, not just for food. Otherwise they should better go to a langar where free food is available daily instead of coming to the Garden. I am really sorry to write these lines but all my requests in the last couple of months for members to be regular and punctual have fallen into deaf ears.

Flowers and Fury

Mohar Singh

Ved Prakash Grover

Dark, wet morning. Single-digit attendance. Shekhawat peered out of the China Hut to study the steady downpour. “What beautiful weather!” he concluded. “Just perfect for taking out the bottle.”
“Oh, you drink also!” exclaimed an idiot from another section of the China Hut.
“Arrey, I am fauji aadmi, drinking is in my blood.”
“I had wine once, but nothing happened to me,” the idiot boasted. It continued to rain and Shekhawat waxed eloquent on the blessings of booze when his train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by fireworks between Ved Prakash Grover and Mohar Singh (of all the people). The idiot, who was till then talking to Shekhawat, had quietly slipped out in the rain and was seen plucking flowers.
Grover screamed: “Usko roko! How many times has he been told not to pluck flowers. But he does not listen.”
Idiot could not be bothered as Mohar Singh took up for him. “What is your problem?” he said turning to Grover.

Slanging match between Bhaswati Bose and the rest

“He is only taking some flowers for puja. Everybody does this.”
“But this is not allowed,” Grover countered.
“Then you should stop everybody. Don’t pick on him.”
“Are you mad or what? How can you side with that man? I was the one to stop another man by complaining to the watchman.”
“Because you have no other work,” Mohar Singh retorted.
Grover got all the more furious and as the fight escalated, everybody watched in silence. Not one person among us mediated. Only towards the end, did Arora call a friend of Idiot and instructed him to warn “that man in Hindi” not to pluck flowers again. He said he would do so in English.
The tense atmosphere was finally eased when Bhaswati Bose made an appearance to complain she was not given her ‘birthday calendar’ (on July 19). “Nobody even wished me,” she said at the top of her voice. “Why this discrimination? Forget wishing, unless I get my calendar, I will not give any birthday treat.” The angrier she got, the more others teased her – much to everybody’s amusement. In all this sound and fury, peace was restored for the day.
Kiran Prakash:
If she wants members to wish her, she should ensure that her birthday does not fall on a Sunday. Just to caution her, it will again fall on a Sunday in 2020 and 2026. Anyway, a belated Happy Birthday Bhaswati-ji. Her clubbing the treat with her birthday calendar seems to be justified.
Bihari Milwani:
I wonder how anybody can be born on a Sunday when everything is closed. 19th July was a Sunday. Anyway, many many (belated) Happy Returns of the Day. Please accept my best wishes.

Joint Treat

Happy Birthday, Gita Latte

A jumbo celebration is in the offing with four July-borns getting together to host a 'joint party’ later in the month. Nahid Siddiqui, who could not celebrate her birthday last month, is also likely to join Yusuf Rassiwala, Banoo Apa, Razia Khan and Bhaswati Bose on this occasion. The date and venue however, remain to be decided.
Meanwhile Gita Latte, who was unaware of any such plans, celebrated her birthday today with cake-biscuits. The customary fourth laughter was raised for her soon after the exercises and elders of the Club blessed the girl whole-heartedly. She is incidentally, one of the younger (if not the youngest) members of the Club. We wish her once again, many happy returns of the day – a long and healthy life, good prospects and everlasting happiness.
As for the others, the practice of pooling in for a joint celebration is not new – just that it had been discontinued over the past three or four years following objections from certain quarters.

No clarity on the picnic as yet

The same objections were raised today with many old-timers insisting that even if it were to be toffees and lozenges, the treat should be individual and on his/ her birthday only.
Another sticking point is the idea of a ‘hotel party’, as suggested by Razia. “Whatever party we have should be within the Garden,” Srichand Arora had declared. The counter-argument to this is the birthday ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ should have the prerogative to decide how and where he/ she would like to celebrate and if some people do not approve, so be it. There is after all, no compulsion on anybody to partake in any celebration.
These issues have cropped up afresh because of the intervening Ramzaan month when a large number of members had perforce stayed away from the Garden. Yusuf Rassiwala and Razia have still not resumed, but a decision has already been taken by them for a joint celebration instead of separate treats. Once these two join, the picture shall become clearer.
Kiran Prakash:
Happy Birthday Gita Latte. Many happy returns of the day. I am also eagerly waiting for the JUMBO joint celebration. Please keep us posted on further developments.
Harish Wadhwa:
A very Happy Birthday Gita. Tum jiyo hazaaron saal saal ke din hon pachaas hazaar...
Bihari Milwani:
It looks like that after fasting for Ramzaan, everyone is very hungry and hoping for a grand party.

Day 1701

Pic of the Week

Exercises continue... even as it started to rain mid-week

It seems that it is raining only for the middle in the mid-week. --Kiran Prakash

Wow, what sleep! The person in the middle is sleeping. He has not realised that rains have stopped and exercises have started. --Bihari Milwani

He is meditating and therefore, oblivious to weather changes. It is called Dhyan Yoga! --Harish Wadhwa

Eid-ul-Fitr 2015

Eid festivity at the Garden, courtesy Mallika Kagzi (in pink)

Trust Mallika Kagzi not to remember us on this auspicious day. Even Nahid Khan gave the Garden a go by today. Mallika was the only one to visit us this morning and usher in the festive spirit with a generous round of sheer-korma and seviyan -- the traditional delicacies of Eid.
The celebration was perfectly timed. We had just wrapped up our exercises when out of the blue Mallika came in with her little grand-daughter, lugging along a bulky bag into the Garden.
No one expected this and for all those who had been missing her morning treats for a month (because of Ramzaan), the sheer-korma and seviyan were absolutely god sent.
“This only shows what a good lady she is,” remarked Siba Prasad Maitra, marveling at the lady who had sacrificed her sleep and stayed awake all night to prepare the delicacies for members of the Club.

Section of the guests 

Portrait of contentment

“And then, to take time out and be personally present for us in the Garden isn’t easy,” he added. “Who’d do so much for anybody else these days?”
True, words of gratitude are inadequate for Mallika Kagzi. We can only join her well wishers and pray that she and her family are blessed by divine grace on this auspicious occasion. Our greetings also go to our other Muslim sisters and brothers, wishing them all happiness, peace and prosperity. May Allah accept your good deeds, forgive transgressions and bless you with sehat, rahat, izzat, barkat, daulat, salamti, hayati, kamyabi and plenty of khushiyan. EID MUBARAK to all!

Siba Prasad Maitra:
Eid Mubarak to all Big Laaf members. Thanks Mallika-ji, for celebrating EID with us in the morning.
Bihari Milwani:
Now I understand why Ramzaan is called 'holy month'. We do our exercises religiously.

Bad Boys?

Tense moments

Monthi Serrao unwittingly let the cat among the pigeons by declaring that old men in the Club have turned notorious. “Buddhe badmaash ho gaye!” she proclaimed without further elaboration.
The pronouncement would normally wash off like water on a duck’s back, were it not for Bijoy Gupta who promptly pointed a finger at Shekhawat. “Did you hear what she just said?” he chided. “You are the maha badmaash of the Club. Better mend your ways.”
Before Shekhawat could reply, Harbans Kaur jumped into the fray. “Not Shekhawat, it is you,” she accused Gupta. “Ever since you joined the Club, Shekhawat has become bad. He was not like this earlier. You are a bad influence on him!”
The question that arises here is, how bad is bad and who decides? Is cracking kindergarten jokes or fooling around such a bad thing? Or must everyone be expected to behave as though attending a funeral? How much liberty can one take among friends? Where do you draw the line?

Bijoy Gupta

Harbans Kaur

Most important, why is it so difficult to let elders (in their seventies and older) be themselves – especially when nobody is getting hurt?
Today’s incident was sparked off by Srichand Arora when Monthi and Harbans Kaur came in from the rain clutching a single umbrella. “Jodi aa gayi,” he remarked. Monthi heard ghodi – a mare, symbolically associated with Hindu weddings. The inference was not lost on anyone, till Harbans Kaur went up to Arora and advised him not to have any such pipe dreams at his age. “When men get old they conserve themselves,” she reminded him. “They don’t think of ghodis.”
That was when Monthi made the ‘badmaash’ comment and Arora slipped out of the scene, leaving Shekhawat and Gupta in the line of fire.
The issue here is not about good and bad or of assuming the high moral ground – ghodi or no ghodi. The problem lies elsewhere. Earlier we thought Sitaram Hivarkar was afflicted by it. Then Arora started showing similar symptoms. Now it has become an epidemic. Yes, we are all turning hard of hearing. Somebody says something and we hear something else. The rest is left to imagination!
Kiran Prakash:
Have you said something?
Bihari Milwani:
Yes, I have said something. Change your imagination and thought. When Arora-ji said 'Jodi aa gayi', why it was not misunderstood as 'Dauri (running) aa gayi'? It is the wrong thought in our mind which needs to be changed.

Loss of Innocence

Nahid Khan with Karuna Waghmare (rt)

How a new member grows into the Club makes for an interesting study. The process of adjusting, being comfortable, finding a voice and eventually merging with other members is much like a child losing his/ her innocence. For some this might take long. For others, like Kiran Prakash or Siba Prasad Maitra, fitting into the Club can be instantaneous – like a fish takes to water.
Karuna Waghmare offers a refreshing case in point. A descendant of some brave warrior who killed a tiger (or was it a leopard?), this stout, rotund lady used to be a silent observer when she joined, following each of us intently like a predator sizes up its prey. It could get uncanny at times -- more so when she would mumble something to herself and laugh.
We soon learnt that this was her style and laughed with her, often without hearing what she had said. This made her more vocal (and audible).

Sweety Sinha canvasses for Art of Living classes

While we cursed the sweltering heat and humidity, Karuna informed that people still conduct all-night bhajans and kirtans in villages to propitiate the rain gods. She even did a cameo of playing the drum to illustrate her point. Many found this “cute” and started calling her “Karunamayi”.
It is almost six months since Karuna joined the Club and she appears fully sorted out by now. She has always been regular for the exercises, is punctual to a fault and can claim to be more disciplined than most. This could well have given her the confidence (if not the license) to upbraid others to the extent that she directed Srichand Arora to stand where she can see him (because “he is so small”) when he conducted the exercises today. The other day, she picked on another member, asking how he had overnight "sprouted so much black hair" on his head. She even suggests that someone must go to Kanpur to get a ‘kaan’ (ear) for people who “cannot hear” what she says. In effect, she has become so talkative that Nahid Khan would now appear like the Sphinx.
But quite clearly, Karuna is no longer an ‘outsider’.

Some Relief

Our prayers were finally answered this morning as the heavens opened up with a brief splutter, bringing us some respite from the oppressive heat and humidity.

A time to pray

Kajal and Dilip (centre) celebrate their daughter, Neelam's engagement

So happy were we that for once, the exercises were not discontinued and most of us celebrated by getting drenched. Only a few ran for cover, fearing a deluge! But that was not to be.
Nahid Khan had for long, been urging us (in the course of conducting the exercises) to pray for the rains. But of late, she too had given up. It had turned incredibly hot and sticky for close to a month now, almost negating the effect of the torrential downpour in early June. So when dark clouds were seen hovering over the north-west horizon this morning, our hopes were revived. Moreover, with most parts of north and eastern India experiencing heavy rainfall, we can expect another wet spell in days to come.
Our only problem during the rains is that we end up being cramped for space. Perforce we need to withdraw from the open spaces of the Garden and confine ourselves to the China Hut for the exercises. This can be quite distressful, especially on days when attendance is peaks.
During the last couple of monsoons, we had the option of exercising in a shed outside the China Hut, which was more accommodating – even as the tarpaulin roofing leaked at places. That shed broke down last month and has not been repaired since. So very soon, when Ramzaan gets over and our Muslim friends rejoin us, we could face a real problem of space constraint whenever it would rain.
Meanwhile, here is some good news. The Babanis, Kajal and Dilip came in today with chocolates and announced that their daughter, Neelam has found her ‘prince charming’ and that the families have solemnized the match with a formal engagement some time back. The boy is from their community, but resides in Australia – which means Neelam will have to quit her job as a speech therapist in Mumbai and start afresh in Melbourne. But this is all for the good and as always, our blessings and good wishes rest with her.
The wedding is slated for December.
Bihari Milwani:
How will it pour in Adhik month? Rains will come only when Adhik month is over.

Travel Bug

Much hair-splitting over the next picnic destination

Within two months of the Mahabaleshwar-Panchgani trip, the travel bug has begun to bite once again. And Shekhawat has already been bitten. Mercifully, it is a small bug this time. For, he is not talking of an extended, long-distance trip involving overnight stay but a short, day-long trip in the middle of the monsoon.
One destination suggested this morning was Lavasa – probably the same resort Jagmohan Papneja had taken a group to from the ‘other’ Garden last month. This would be virgin territory for our Club. But Bijoy Gupta and a few others have already been there on their own and were not too happy about the place.
The other suggestion came from Monthi Serrao – for a certain ‘wonderland park’ in Nerul. That too would be a one-day excursion with many games and rides, which should allow for members to take their grandkids along. Additionally, arrangements for packed food and refreshments would be made by Monthi’s sister, Priscilla who stays close by in Nerul.
Significantly, Priscilla Britto showed up at the Garden today. She filled us in with additional details about the wonderland park, thereby leaving Shekhawat in a dilemma he loves most:

Priscilla Britto

whether to head towards Nerul or to Lavasa.

Sheela Mirani is back

With newfound zeal, he mobilized his rank and file to work on the costing for both destinations. “Don’t forget to factor in the hiring cost of the bus,” he directed with the authority of a military general. Given that Shekhawat has started wearing his talismanic multi-pocket brown shorts, there is no reason why he will not see this trip through.
Meanwhile, Sheela Mirani presented a pleasant surprise by surfacing in the Garden after more than two months. Her old attendant had left her and today she was accompanied by a new lady. Besides, the lift in her building was out of order, leaving her stranded at home. But worse, she had suffered a severe bout of food poisoning that led to her hospitalization. The good part is that she is fine now. And she will resume her morning routine at the Garden.
Bihari Milwani:
Why not go to both places -- one this month and the other, next month?

Natural Wit

Monthi Serrao in full flow

On a dull day, if there is one person (apart from the usual suspects) who can enliven the surroundings, it has to be Monthi Serrao. She tries to keep a low profile and in any case, turns up late for the exercises. But for the time she is around, she would willy-nilly throw everybody into splits by her one-liners – much of which is unintended. For, she is actually a serious person and does not even realize how funny she can be.
Today, in the course of the exercises, at one point Arora directed everyone to hold their breath. “Saans roko,” he said, but Monthi heard “saas”, meaning mother-in-law. “Where is she?” she blurted out, looking around the Garden, agitated. Arora himself broke his breath and burst out laughing. Realising her folly, Monthi joined the laughter: “Sorry, I thought you saw your mother-in-law and wanted me to stop her!”
This was not the first time Monthi had heard wrong and spoken out of turn. Her bloopers are legendary, enough to fill a book. But how would you explain the incident she narrated this morning? Apparently, Monthi had gone to market yesterday to buy fish and picked up chicken first. She returned home and discovered she had left the chicken behind somewhere. “I had prepared the masala and was about to start cooking, when I found there was no chicken,” she recounted with dramatic flourish. “What to do? The cost of petrol in driving back and forth would be more than the cost of the chicken…”
What happened was inconsequential. It was her way of describing the incident that had us all laughing our heads off.
Bihari Milwani:
Why do ladies only think of mother-in-law when someone says 'saans'? Why can't they think of tomato/ chilli sauce?
Harish Wadhwa:
It's simple, Milwani-ji. Tasty food, like sauce, is easily forgotten. The bitter ones leave a lasting aftertaste.

Day 1694

Pic of the Week

Flirting with a Roman Gladiator...

Romance in Rome. Is he proposing to her? Yeh kya ho raha hai?!! --Anonymous

These days anything can happen. Thank God, she has come back with her husband. No Rome anytime in future. You are not lucky every time. --Kiran Prakash

Rise gladiator! You are a free man now! Hail Caesar! --Mezda and Julie

Wait! There's more to this drama...

Moral of the story: Never 
leave your husband for 
just about any clown!

When in Rome be like a Roman. --Mezda and Julie

OMG! She is smiling too. Kya se kya ho gaya... No idea how her husband managed to unknot this. --Kiran Prakash

Bhaswati-ji go for the handsome hunk! Don't look back... I mean the gladiator. Change is the spice of life. I am sure it must have been wonderful to feel like a queen with a crown and being proposed by a kneeling gladiator, followed by a generous hug and then a vow (pic with a sword on the shoulder) to be always protected from your ex!!! --Harish Wadhwa

Picking the Threads

Arun Patil shows the stump where his foot had once been

Arun Patil was there at the Garden today. This was his first appearance in two months – since the time his right foot was amputated owing to an acute diabetic condition. He came limping on crutches – a sad sight for a man who, till the other day, was brimming with energy and would be running all over the place, helping anybody and everybody in need.
But Arun was far from crestfallen today. His visit was more of a "release from incarceration" and as he put it, he felt “overwhelmed reconnecting with old friends” at the Club. In fact, this was his first day out after he was deposited home straight from hospital in early May. Since then, it has been a life of solitary confinement for him – barring occasional visits and phone calls from friends and well-wishers.
So it was decided from the Club that a few people should go and fetch him to the Garden, if that would facilitate his return to mainstream and a life of normalcy. Arora took the initiative this morning and together with Bose and Kiran Prakash, brought Arun by car in time for the exercises.

Santosh Tyagi narrates her tale of woe

All went well, except from a minor mishap upon returning home: Arun could not lift himself on his crutches up the stairs and slipped, falling face down. Luckily, he did not sustain any major injuries.
The other important news of the morning was Santosh Tyagi’s return since the chain-snatching incident (ref post of July 9). She described in detail how on the morning of June 2, a couple of “respectable-looking” thugs on motorbikes flicked the gold chain off her neck, leaving her shattered for days.
So rattled was Santosh that she did not even lodge a police complaint – much as Monthi Serrao and other ladies had offered to accompany her to the closest cop station in Oshiwara.
Today Sitaram Hivarkar also assured her that the cops would be able to retrieve the chain (or at least compensate her) as they had once done for him. But Santosh would rather not get involved with cops and robbers – which, as she says, would only lead to unnecessary complications and keep alive a bitter memory.
Harish Wadhwa:
* It was nice to see Arun at the Garden today. God bless him with good health. He should return to near normalcy once he gets the prosthetic leg. May the day be near when he can regularly come on his own to the Garden. Our good wishes go out to him.
* Maar pade uss khote noo jinne Santosh-ji da dil dukhaya, chain khichh ke. Uss noo woh chain kadi raaas na aave!