Turning 81

Birthday Boy, RAM SHANKAR SHUKLA (in dark tee) surrounded by friends and admirers

Another one of us has stepped into the eighties. Ram Shankar Shukla turned 81 yesterday and today, together with his daughter and grand-daughter, celebrated the landmark event of his life with us in the Garden. In effect, Shukla now joins the elite company of two other octogenarians of the Club – Lt Col Angad Singh (retd) and Tara Chand Seth.
“He is not much older to me,” Shekhawat piped in, playfully trying to undermine the importance of the occasion.

Shekhawat (in red) rejoices with Shukla

Shukla distributes Vyanjan packets

“Just five years, that’s all,” he added.
Shukla is a retired officer from the Madhya Pradesh government and till recently, led a fairly active life travelling up and down to Kanpur where his daughter resides. In Mumbai, he runs a chain of coaching classes, thus giving rise to the nickname, 'Gurukul' (from a private joke he shares with Shekhawat).
Clearly, Shukla and Shekhawat go back a long way and they are the only ones to take liberties with each other. To the rest of us, Shukla has always been the Club’s tallest figure we quite literally look up to. Even today, as he distributed an assortment of savouries from Vyanjan, he stood tall, ramrod straight, towering over the rest of us.
Once again, we wish him much happiness, good health and of course many, many more birthdays with us in the Garden.
Bihari Milwani:
A coincidence: Yesterday Col Angad Singh turned 30,000 days young. We missed him and worse, missed wishing him -- thanks to my poor memory.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is nice to learn that the strength of super-senior citizens has increased, the latest addition being Shukla-ji. We rejoice his coming of age! We wish him good health and a joyful life. Keep laughing and you will enjoy the benefits of good health.

Day 1982

Pic of the Week

HOUSIE! End-of-Month SMF -- Saturday Morning Fever!!!

But why is everyone sleeping in the class while teachers are giving lectures? --Bihari Milwani

Reasons to Rejoice

Mumtaz Jahan (r) treats us to biscuiits

The Guptas (r) are congratulated on turning grandparents

A couple of months back, Mumtaz Jahan did the disappearing act, taking us all by surprise. In time, news trickled in of her brother meeting with a near-fatal road accident and that she had to air dash to Delhi where he was hospitalised. Some of her friends also received distressful photos of the young man in ICU. And then there was no news.
Today our anxieties were put to rest as Mumtaz strode into the Garden with a broad smile and a bag of biscuits. From the look of her, all seemed well. “He is back in his house at Jammu,” she confirmed raising a salutary look heavenwards. “But he cannot stir out of home. He shall have to be wheelchair-bound for the next four months.”
Bijoy Gupta gave us another reason to rejoice. “I have become a grandfather,” he announced rather sheepishly after the exercises. And to celebrate the occasion, he treated us to packets of oven-fresh dhokla, kachori, samosa and gulab-jamuns from Vyanjan.
Later, his wife Pushpa was to elaborate that their son is settled in London and the baby boy automatically becomes a British citizen by birth.
“He was born on May 16,” she added amid friendly jibes from well-wishers for being a “British grandmom” now. Some even wanted to christen her “Pushpa Dadi-ma!”
Significantly enough, the mood of the morning was set by Nahid Khan’s grandson, Ali. The restless 11-year-old was all over the place, chattering away incessantly from the very start of the exercises and soon became a personal favourite of Shekhawat. He insisted that the boy stay put next to him and all morning, one refused to let go of the other. The funniest part was when the tiny brat started picking faults in the way we exercise – to the point of demonstrating some smart moves, much to his granny’s consternation.
Meanwhile, here's congratulating Geeta Latte, Swati Punjabi, Kiran Prakash and other winners of today's Housie session in the China Hut. This is fast becoming a popular feature of the Club every last-Saturday of the month.
Bihari Milwani:
On Monday, Gupta-ji should come wearing a red cap and be singing: "Dadi main toh Dada ban gaya/ Dada banke kaisa tan gaya/ Yeh suit mera dekho, ye boot mera dekho/ Jaise gora koi London kaaaaaaa"!!!

Good News

Rakhee Bansi (l) celebrates her return to India

A loud roar of laughter followed by a silent prayer of thanksgiving went up this morning for Shekhawat’s health. He will not have to undergo the dreaded operation for unblocking the arteries of his right leg. The blockages detected earlier were a false alarm.
“All is normal,” he declared this morning.
Shekhawat had gone to the naval hospital in Colaba the third time yesterday over what was suspected to be a severe case of atherosclerosis.

Happy Singh Shekhawat

The first time he was told to get an MRI done, the results of which turned out to be inconclusive. Thereafter he was prescribed medication along with some more tests. The test reports proved negative. By way of abundant caution, the doctors repeated all the tests and once again the results have proved that he is fit as a fiddle.
Funnily, Shekhawat believes that a certain herbal oil/ lotion, prescribed by an ayurvedic practitioner, has done the trick.

Nahid Khan (l) celebrates being grandmom once again

“Whenever I am in pain, I apply a little of that oil in the affected area of my foot,” he informed. “It works like magic. The pain disappears instantly.”
Be that as it may, the relief of not having to go under the knife any time soon was evident in Shekhawat’s behavior all morning. He had that extra bounce in his step – an ebullience that comes from a sense of reprieve and happiness – taking us by surprise. Bijoy Gupta had to actually restrain him from being over-playful. “Don’t think you are Shah Rukh Khan!” he warned, half in jest.
Meanwhile, Rakhee Bansi came with a box of chocolate wafers to celebrate her return from Europe. She had gone to the U.K. (London) and France (Paris and Nice) and apparently “did so much shopping” that she was "down with extra baggage" on her flight home.
Nahid Khan too had good reasons to celebrate. She has become a proud grandmother once again and announced the new arrival with a box of barfis. Our blessings and good wishes go to the baby girl and her parents as well.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is good news that our old stalwart, Shekhawat is not required to undergo surgery. May God bless and keep him fit to enjoy the company of his saalis. The saalis provide him the invigorating 'tonic' to stay fit. It is nice to also see that you are enjoying pre-monsoon sweets in celebration of Rakhee's return from a foreign tour and the new arrival in Nahid's family.

Holiday Season

Celebrating happiness with loads of laughter

Kajal Babani was back from Lonavala, loaded with its famous chikkis. She had taken off on a brief vacation, essentially to “chill” with friends at the hill station, not very far from Mumbai. We profited by getting to sample the very best of chikkis – even by Lonavala standards.
The other day Manisha Kolhe returned from a vacation in Nagpur and treated us to its special ‘santra barfi’. Mallika Kagzi brought us nankhatai from Surat and is now at her mother’s in Mumbra. Santosh Tyagi is threatening to make a trip to Delhi this week-end and Monthi Serrao is yet to return from her sojourn in Mangalore.

Loads of chikki from Lonavala

Likewise Kadir Banu, Mumtaz Jahan, Karuna Waghmare, Fehmida Khan, Laxmi Naidu and several others are in no hurry to return (from wherever they are), if only to escape the muggy mornings in the Garden.
This summer exodus is an annual feature for the Club and the effects get compounded with the onset of the holy month of Ramzan (beginning June 7) when attendance for the exercises comes literally crashing down.
We had a foretaste of this today with many regulars such as Shekhawat, Arun Patil, Rukhsana Khan, Bijoy Gupta, Khatoon Baig and Swati Punjabi (among others) not to be seen.
Yet, in making the most of our 20-odd friends who turned up today, we had our spot of sunshine after the exercises. For some strange reason, Siba Prasad Maitra wanted to designate the day as 'World Whiskey Day' (now, who’s going to dispute that?) and belted out a series of rib ticklers.
For good measure Bhaswati Bose and Kajal Babani pitched in and with well-timed wisecracks and one-liners from Yusuf Rassiwala, Geeta Latte and Kiran Prakash, it would seem that we were the only happy-go-lucky souls in an otherwise doleful and deserted Garden.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It appears that club members are 'relishing' the return of their friends with lip-smacking sweets and other eatables. Do enjoy, but at the same time, keep a watch on your health!

Out of Loop

Nahid Siddiqui

The sun rose in the west today. Nahid Siddiqui, a perpetual late-comer for the exercises, forgot her normal schedule this morning. She turned up at the Garden around 6:30 a.m. – a clear one hour ahead of her usual time!
Naturally, this was to take us all by surprise as indeed, she was also in for a mild shock. “Where has everybody gone?” she asked Santosh Tyagi, one of the early birds performing her breathing rituals on a bench. “Are the exercises over?”
Santosh’s eyes popped as though she was seeing a ghost: “People haven’t come in yet. How come you are here so early?”
Then the truth tumbled out. By mistake Nahid had set her phone alarm an hour in advance and had come to the Garden straight out of bed, believing she would be terribly late and miss out on today’s exercises.

CAKE CUTTING: Nahid celebrated her birthday yesterday

“I did not even have my morning tea,” she complained.
More than finding herself at a loose end, what seemed awkward for Nahid (and hilarious to us) was her effort at familiarising herself with the exercises. In spite of being a very senior member of the Club, she had not even seen most of our exercises because by the time she would turn up, we were done with them. She struggled with some of the initial numbers today before deciding to just stand by and watch us quietly. Later on, she joined us on the numbers she was familiar with.
Perhaps, there is a lesson somewhere in this for all late-comers.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is good to be early. If there is a will, there is a way. So one can always come in time. Hope Nahid Siddiqui keeps this in mind and is always well in time in future.

Day 1977

Pic of the Week

BACK FROM A PADDY PLANTATION IN VIETNAM?

Spot the odd one out!

 Or are they visitors to our club? The one in the middle seems to be the leader and the only man at the back appears to be their manager. Will they be with us for some time? Are they under some exchange programme or on just a study tour?--Kiran Prakash

Finally Mr Shekhawat has succeeded in getting the seven he can now name by the days of the week -- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... Or perhaps, by the seven colours of the rainbow -- Voilet, Indigo, Blue... --Bihari Milwani

The conical caps are Geeta Latte's gift to the Club to beat the heat. We thank her for this thoughtful gesture. --Bhaswati Bose

Passing the Hat

Mallika Kagzi

Big Laaf continues to evolve and innovate with every passing day. For the first time, a cap was passed around to cover the costs of today’s naashta in the Garden. Mallika Kagzi had brought some keema-pao and tea from home and it was only in the fitness of things that we paid for it -- partially, if not fully.
Of late, Mallika had turned extra-generous, treating us to goodies every other day after the exercises. If nothing else, she would have a flaskful of hot tea ready for us. This had become increasingly awkward for many, more so since none of us is in any position to either reciprocate or refuse her. After all, who has the time and energy to get up in the middle of the night – that too, on a regular basis – to cook for a bunch of people in the Garden?
Mallika’s explanation has been that she “enjoys feeding people” and we believe her because rarely, if ever, does she herself partake in what she brings in the morning. Today also, she did not even take a bite of the keema-pao she brought. Still, this ‘indulgence’ costs money and the least we could do was to defray some the expenses to the extent we could individually afford.
The idea of passing the hat around came up when plans for a picnic at Juhu Beach were being made last week.

Swati Punjabi (centre) is terrified by the waves of Arabian Sea

It was decided then that we should have a potluck after the exercises. But we also knew that most of us (especially the men) would turn up empty-handed and as it happened the last time around (ref post of September 20, 2014), the burden of feeding everyone would fall mainly on Mallika’s shoulders. This would be grossly unfair.
Meanwhile, a date for the Juhu picnic continues to evade us. With the holy month of Ramzan round the corner and consequently, attendance expected to drop sharply, we must set out before June 6. Swati Punjabi excitedly offered to celebrate her birthday by the beach on June 2, but soon changed her mind. “What happens if my birthday cake gets washed away by the waves of Arabian Sea?” she asked, giving a terrified look.
That was a good question nobody had an answer to.
Bihari Milwani:
We should have the Juhu picnic before the onset of monsoon. We can perhaps have the picnic on June 6, Mallika's birthday -- before Ramzaan month begins. Or else, Swati may get a 'waterproof cake' to protect it from sea water.

Beautiful Minds

Kiran Prakash with the daughter he never had

Kiran Prakash came to the Garden today sporting a bright crimson t-shirt. This was in marked variance from the sober blues and greys we are used to seeing him in. But the crimson suited him well. Teamed with ecru trousers, it made him look still younger for his years.
And thereby hangs a tale.
Yesterday Geeta Latte, the youngest member of the Club, presented Prakash the t-shirt when the exercises were over. She tried being discreet, but the latter was so taken by surprise that he refused point blank to accept the gift. Seeing him protest vociferously, Geeta broke down. All she managed to say was “I see a lot of my father in him!”
Sadly, Geeta has lost her father. And Kiran Prakash does not have a daughter. Such are the ways of nature that over time they had come to share a special space during the daily one-hour routine in the Club. He realised he was becoming extra affectionate, even protective towards her and happily, made no secret of his feelings.
Likewise, Geeta looked up to Prakash as her ‘foster father’ and was never ashamed to accept that extra samosa or kachori he would save for her from his share of a morning treat. She knew he had a sensitive stomach and was unable to consume anything fried or spicy.
The t-shirt took the father-daughter bonding to another level. As Prakash was to confess later, he did not expect Geeta to “go to this extent” of getting him the gift. So overwhelmed was he that he (foolishly) commanded her to accompany him right away and buy whatever she liked from anywhere. Prakash had to be told not to be in such haste and that a give-and-take would only amount to hurting Geeta’s sentiments.
Prakash gathered himself before long and WhatsApped his friends: “It is an honour that somebody tells me she sees her daddy in me and cries when I decline to accept her gift. It’s a feeling that’s difficult to express. I don’t know what else is in store for me in this Club.”
Kiran Prakash:
Geeta is a gem of a girl. She is principled, honest, respectful and caring. I am fortunate to have her as a daughter. I wish and pray for her happy and prosperous life. And I am always there for her. God bless!
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
The small and affectionate gesture by Geeta Latte in honoring Kiran Prakash as her daddy only proves that Big laaf is like a family. The one hour spent together augurs well and reminds us of our culture when, in a village, all children used to be treated as children of the village. They enjoyed the love, affection and wrath of village elders without discrimination.
Bhaswati Bose:
The picture speaks volumes - the fond look in the eyes of 'papa' Kiran-ji and the expression of soaking in the affection on 'beti' Tai Chi's face cannot be expressed in words. In these times of extreme tempers, such a beautiful bonding between two members is hard to come by. The Club rejoices in their happiness.
Kiran Prakash responds:
Thank you very much, Bhaswati-ji. We all at Big Laaf share such feelings of love and affection towards one another. What we need now is to organise some games of 5-10 minutes duration on weekly intervals which will strengthen the bonding and create team spirit among members. Think over it. We may have this on Saturdays.

Day 1974

Pic of the Week

Who says breastbeating is the expression for bereavement, or sorrow?

In Big Laaf, every act is an expression of happiness and joy. Keep the breastbeating on, folks! --Kiran Prakash

This is not breast-beating. It is chest-thumping, with happiness and pride. --Bhaswati Bose

Big Laaf is for big people, not for small people who always keep crying. --Bihari Milwani

This shows how happy Big Laaf members are. -- Dilip Babani

Myth Buster

MASS HYPNOSIS: In deep slumber...

Noted hypnotherapist Rajiv Naidu had promised to hold a workshop on ‘self-hypnosis’ for us today (ref post of May 4). He materialised magically in our midst at the dot of 8:00 inside the China Hut. But, as it turned out, the lecdem looked more like a session of mass hypnotism, than self-hypnosis.
Mallika Kagzi had no clue what lay in store and was much too eager to run away. Shekhawat was equally reluctant to stick around lest he unwittingly reveal some deep, dark secrets under the hypnotist’s spell.

Dr Rajiv Naidu

Bhaswati Bose was more worried about getting out of the spell once she drifts into a trance...
Dr Naidu started out by busting some of these common myths and explained how in fact, hypnosis is as simple as going to sleep. He also revealed (much to everybody’s relief) that nobody can be put to hypnosis “unless you willingly subject yourself to be hypnotised” and better still, “not for a moment would you lose consciousness”. It is like entering into a meditative state, he said.
He also spoke of auto-suggestion and the power of the mind in influencing moods, a sense of well-being, even happiness.

Banoo Apa (r) treats us to aam-ras

To illustrate his point, he put the group through what seemed to be an extended spell of deep sleep, suggesting continually to shift concentration from one part of the body to another. In the end, he had to literally wake us up with a cheerful “Good Morning!” There was no denying that everybody felt refreshed – the exhaustion of the morning exercises and the oppressive heat and humidity, clearly forgotten.
Dr Naidu conducts such sessions in his clinic and as part of a ‘programme in integrated clinical hypnotherapy’.

Some are still asleep as Yusuf R thanks Dr Naidu

He is founder-director of Expressions Infinite, an institute that offers this course at graduation and post-graduation levels. Students are put through many levels of learning, progressively picking up the fundas on fear management, dream interpretation and therapy, habit formation, past life regression, handwriting analysis, foreign energy dynamics, crystal healing and so on.
Dr Naidu can easily be reached on (91) 98208 00120 or 022 2634 0398. His email id is drnaidurajiv@gmail.com.
Post Script: Three quick points -- one, we sorely missed Dr Naidu's mother, Laxmi Naidu who, we were told, is holidaying in Powai; two, only someone of the sensibility and grace of Banoo Apa could think of treating everyone to refreshing home-made aam ras at the end of the session; and three, Mallika Kagzi got so immersed in self-hypnosis that she totally lost track of time. She woke up with a surprise when told that an hour had passed and she had to go home!
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Hypnosis makes you forget your worries -- at least for the time you are under its influence. You feel on the top of world, away from all problems. In the end, you are totally relaxed and refreshed.
Dilip Babani:
The workshop was very interesting and educative. Big Laaf should organise more of such programmes of awareness for the benefit of members. It helps to remove ignorance. Very nice, Bhaswati. Select another good topic when you organise next time. I like this type of programmes.

What a Month!

Sunita Jajodia is special invitee at Santosh Tyagi's party today

May 1 was a Sunday, Labour Day.
May 2: We celebrated Shekhawat’s return from Rajasthan.
May 3: We ushered Kajal and Dilip Babani’s daughter’s birthday, a day in advance. Along with the chocolates, Banoo Apa treated us separately to chilled, home-made lassi.
May 4: Laxmi Naidu celebrated her birthday with cake and Vyanjan goodies.
May 5: Nankhatai Day, as Mallika Kagzi marked her return from Surat.
May 6: Fahmida Khan celebrated her birthday on a lavish scale after cake-cutting ceremony.
May 7: Mallika Kagzi treated us to tea after a special meeting.
May 8: Mother’s Day, a Sunday.
May 9: Another Garden Tea Party.
May 10: Razia Khan celebrated her return from Pune with cake slices and Kayani cookies.
May 11: Dilip and Kajal Babani celebrated their wedding anniversary. Separately, Mallika observed the death anniversary of her daughter with keema-pao and tea.
May 12: Another big treat today -- laddoos, matthi, tea and cold drinks -- this time from Santosh Tyagi to mark the demise of her mother in Delhi. What’s going on?
Every day has been a EATING DAY this month!!!
Kiran Prakash:
Does the Club still deserve to be called 'Big Laaf'? Or should it be renamed 'Big Eating' Club? The ever-expanding waist size of our members (including mine) bears testimony to what is going on in the name of a laughter and exercise club.
A:
May is a month of celebrations -- starting with Labour Day and followed by eating and enjoying healthy, home-made treats every day. It is a month of extreme heat also. Some areas are badly hit by drought and water is being transported there by rail.

Hot as Hell

Two-minute silence was observed for Santosh Tyagi's mother

Today was no better than yesterday. By the time we started our exercises, the Garden had turned into worse than a furnace – hot, sinister and suffocating. Not a leaf stirred. Even the birds had fallen silent in the trees. Barring a few stragglers on the walking track, we were the only life visible. An air of ominous expectancy hung over us.
May has always been a muggy month for us in Mumbai; but seldom have the mornings been so punishing. Clearly, the biggest fear is dehydration.

Updating Membership Register

The drinking water Mallika Kagzi, Swati Punjabi and other kind ladies bring along every day usually gets over midway through the exercises. Banoo Apa wanted to get aam panna (raw-mango drink) for us this morning, but knowing that Dilip and Kajal Babani would be celebrating their marriage anniversary today, she kept the treat on hold. Also, Mallika treated us to keema-pao and tea – a ritual she has been following religiously on the death anniversary of her daughter. Santosh Tyagi was also there – back from Delhi after attending the last rites of her mother. A two-minute silence was observed for the departed soul.
These are no more than enforced diversions from the oppressive heat and humidity we are subject to these days.

Razia Khan's Kayani cookies yesterday

Yesterday, Razia Khan brought us sliced cake and Kayani cookies from a trip to Pune. And there was Arun Patil also doing his bit in providing distraction by getting everybody’s signatures on the newly-instituted Membership Register.
Still, most senior members are choosing to exercise seated on the benches as they cannot take the full hour-long routine standing. Khatoon Baig is opting for a less-strenuous walk around the Garden the moment she feels exhausted. Some want to do away with caps since they tend to "trap heat" around the head. Siba Prasad Maitra suggested yesterday that we substitute the cap for an equally distinctive Big Laaf armband. “I’ll sponsor the armbands,” he offered.
No doubt, a good suggestion. But what we really, really need now is a spell of pre-monsoon showers to bring down the morning temperature. Sadly, no hope in the horizon at present.

Dilip-Kajal with Milwani's memento

Mallika's keema-pao and chai treat

Dilip gives away anniversary goodies

Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is terribly hot these days throughout the country. It is time we learnt from our fore-fathers. During summer they used to wear pugree (a turban) which protected them from the heat. One must wear some headgear these days. I feel it is better to have a cap, rather than an armband. The cap provides you some protection whereas an arm band shows that you are protesting! We had some showers on May 10 in Punjab, which gave us lot of relief from the hot and sultry weather.

New Moniker

Shekhawat formally introduces Chhutkan today

The Club today formally endorsed ‘Chhutkan’ – the new moniker Yusuf Rassiwala lovingly ordained Kiran Prakash with. “We have a new member from today,” Shekhawat announced briefly after the exercises. “His name is Chhutkan!”
He did not however, elaborate on a surname, leaving it open to conjecture – Chhutkan Lal, Chhutkan Prakash, Chhutkan Kumar, Chhutkan Lulla... And it was not as though Prakash had any objection to having a new identity (ref his comments of May 7) thrust upon him.
“But whoever wants to call me by that name must be able to lift me in his/ her arms,” he reiterated.
It was a half-hearted desire, evidently expressed too soon. For the 67-year-old had no idea what he was getting into, least of all being lifted on the shoulders of some dangerous well-wishers. “Like the way they do for Ganapati!” Dilip Babani shouted out at Swati Punjabi who was seen making some equally menacing moves to haul Prakash up physically.

Double-barreled jokes narration from Kajal Babani and Bhaswati Bose

“I will fall down... I will fall down,” he bleated helplessly in appropriate Chhutkan-style, before hurrying to the safety of a wooden bench from where he could hardly be lifted.
Everybody watched in amusement as the duo were to eventually give up. “I can easily pick him up single-handedly in my arms,” boasted Swati, flexing her muscles. “If he struggles too much, I would simply toss him over to Dilip.”
Swati was however, not too happy with Chhutkan, as a name. “It is a criminal’s name,” she declared. “Nobody says Chhutkan in a positive sense. That name has been often used in Hindi movies whenever a notorious criminal has to be shown.”
Yusuf R retorted that this is a common name in Uttar Pradesh, used endearingly for a family youngster. “In Bhojpuri cinema also, you will find characters, especially kid brothers lovingly called Chhutkan. We love Kiran Prakash dearly. He is like our younger brother. Why take everything in a negative sense?”
Bihari Milwani:
I wonder, how can we call a 67 inches tall 67-year-old "Chhutkan"? We may call him "Chhota Prakash".
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
What is in a name? A rose will always be a rose. You may call it by any name, it will always spread its fragrance and beautiful colour. Similarly Kiran Prakash (or 'Ray Shining' in English) will always be spreading wittiness and his positive energy whether he is called Chhutkan or by any other name.

Day 1969

Pic of the Week

MOTHER'S DAY: CELEBRATING A BRAVE MOMMA

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers. Mother is THE ONLY GOD who can be touched, felt and talked to. You are the only source of love and happiness on this planet. May you all be always happy and loved. --Kiran Prakash

Mother with two gorgeous daughters who have just given her a new lease of life. Happy Mother's Day! --Bhaswati Bose

Big Boss

Mallika Kagzi

If proof be required of ‘the boss’ of Big Laaf, it was there in ample measure at the meeting called by the club president this morning. In a startling assertion of presidential authority, the otherwise mild-mannered Mallika Kagzi threw her weight around

Swati Punjabi gets a dressing down

in order to enforce discipline and set a few ground rules for our daily exercises.
She picked on members known for turning up late, being irregular and indulging in disruptive behaviour during the exercises and urged them to get serious or else, leave the Club. She did not spare Shekhawat even. “You are setting a bad example,” she warned him. “Watching you, others are turning unruly. Better improve yourself, or get out!”
Mallika was joined by Yusuf Rassiwala who was equally critical of the constant banter and tomfoolery during the exercises.

Yusuf  Rassiwala (l) and Kiran Prakash

“You do not realise how distracting all that can be,” he explained. “Such behaviour cannot be tolerated.”
The reprimand was heard in pin-drop silence, more so because Mallika admitted to being equally guilty of indiscipline at times.
But what won her the admiration and respect of all present was when she declared that we were one family and that nobody deserves to suffer for the misbehaviour of one or two members. “You are not alone,” she emphasised. “If someone insults or makes an insinuation, speak up. I am with you. We are in this together.”
In an unrelated development, Yusuf R has adopted Kiran Prakash as his younger brother. He has even christened the latter, “Chhutkan” – a name that has gained currency over the past few days. This happened after the two exchanged birth dates and Yusuf R discovered he was older to Prakash by a couple of years. But Chhutkan?!?
“That’s a name you give to a very small chap, a baby you can possibly carry in your lap,” said Prakash, visibly exasperated. “You’d have to first lift me in your arms before calling me Chhutkan!”
But the name has already stuck. Even Kajal Babani, the youngest member of the Club, is saying Chhutkan nowadays!
Kiran Prakash:
We have now a President who means business, does not tolerate nonsense and is not prepared to spare anybody, including herself. All this and much more with grace and respect to one and all. That makes Mallika different. Thanks to Yusuf Bhai for his affection towards me and the new name he has given. Those interested in calling me 'Chhutkan' can certainly do so. Just lift me in your lap with love and then call me 'Chhutkan'.
Kiran Prakash adds:
On going through the blog once again, I feel that sometimes I do not convey my feelings well. I was not at all exasperated. Rather, I was delighted. Where else, other than in this Garden, somebody with my height and age will be given such a lovely name -- 'Chhutkan'. Thank you Yusuf Bhai. I love you for rediscovering me.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Lessons in discipline can be taught at any time. The President being a MOM, chose the pre-Mom Day to chastise all under her care. A motherly scolding along with chai-nashta is heartily welcome.

Atherosclerosis?

Hari Singh Shekhawat

Just as things were looking up in the Garden, calamity has struck again. Shekhawat will have to undergo another critical surgery, this time on his left foot. Doctors are suspecting atherosclerosis, a cardio-vascular condition induced by the progressive hardening and narrowing of the arteries supplying blood to the feet.
“I have been told to get an MRI scan done by May 12,” he informed. “After that they will put me under the knife. There is no escape. The surgeon who would be doing the operation has told me that it would be no different from the procedure on my neck (carotid artery) in January.”
Shekhawat had gone yesterday for a scheduled check-up at the naval hospital in Colaba when his wife reminded him to raise the question of a nagging pain on his left foot. Not one to take such “irritants” seriously, he had been applying a certain oil/ lotion for the past couple of months, which helped in dulling the pain.

Fahmida Khan cuts her birthday cake

Still at his wife’s insistence, he brought it up with the doctor who promptly subjected him to a thorough body exam.
“He asked me to remove my clothes and lie down,” Shekhawat narrated. “Thereafter he and his assistants put me through a battery of tests with all kinds of machines. I had no idea what they were up to. In the end, when I asked if there was anything serious, the doctor said that ‘anything concerning blood vessels is serious’. Later on, after leaving the examination room, they gave me a clearer picture.”
For a 76-year-old, Shekhawat looked remarkably cool even as Yusuf Rassiwala, Rukhsana Khan, Swati Punjabi and others appeared very much worried for him. And later, when Fahmida Khan turned up to celebrate her birthday, Shekhawat was back to jumping all over the place with glee and playing the fool. He even tried to paint Fahmida's lips dark-brown with the birthday cake (under the watchful eye of her hubby) on the pretext of feeding her. After all, he has anointed her his 'saali’ and believes that after her husband, he enjoys the inalienable right to take liberties with her. A very Happy Birthday once again, Fahmida. That was a fantabulous treat!!!

First bite from hubby dearest

Shekhawat applies 'lipstick'

Kajal Babani presents club calendar

              Kiran Prakash: I hope and pray that all goes well with Shekhawat-ji. I am quite confident, the Naval Hospital doctors are competent enough to handle any ailment, big or small, which Shekhawat-ji is suffering from. And once again, a very happy birthday and many happy returns of the day to Fahmida. Incidentally, what Shekhawat does, only Shekhawat can do in this world. For such acts, you need to have a heart of steel and as pure as morning dew. Shekhawat-ji, may you continue to conduct yourself with such purity and firmness. Not everybody's cup of tea. I am proud of you.

Dilip Babani: Happy Birthday, Fahmida-ji. God bless you!

Siba Prasad Maitra: My salute to Mr Shekhawat for maintaining his cool and spirit throughout. I am sure he will come out of this challenge as this is not going to be a major surgery. We all from BIG LAAF are with him.

Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali): As a naval man, Shekhawat has faced many upheavals in high seas. He has come back always with flying colours. He will sail through the minor stream this time as well. Wishing him good health. Happy Birthday Fahmida-ji.

Picnic in the Air

Mallika Kagzi registered her return from Surat with 'jumbo' nankhatai, hot tea and lots of love. Nobody gave her a salute though – the way Kiran Prakash, Dilip Babani and Geeta Latte did on her

"Where to go this time?"

Mallika greets us with Surti nankhatai and tea

return from Hyderabad last month (ref post of April 14). But the happiness on having her back was evident in the jolly jousting and entertaining vibes exchanged with her throughout the morning.
In this air of easy camaraderie, Yusuf Rassiwala came up with the idea of “another picnic”. Obviously the one-day outing to Royal Hills Resort last month (April 3) did not count – nor did Matheran for that matter, as Dilip had proposed. “Let us go somewhere far,” Yusuf urged. “Why not do a foreign trip?”
This has come up at a time when Mumtaz Jahan is organising an eight-day trip to Kashmir between August 28 and September 4, 2016. For a price of Rs32,000 (inclusive of return air fare), she has drawn up an itinerary for Srinagar, Pahalgam, Sonmarg, Gulmarg, Achabal, Verinag and Doodpathri among other scenic spots in the Valley.
Significantly, many of these spots are away from the usual tourist trail and had been given a miss on the Club’s last trip to Kashmir (also conducted by Mumtaz) in August – September 2012. Yet, from all appearances, once is more than enough. As Shekhawat put it, “What is the point of going to the same place again?”
Likewise, Yusuf R is not inclined in repeating a trip to Kashmir and considering that the four extremities of the country have already been covered from the Club, he is pushing for an overseas trip this time around. For several other ‘Club trippers’ also, this is the most attractive option open – the only problem being that not everybody holds a passport.
In the past also, whenever Shekhawat had suggested a trip to Bangkok-Pattaya, the passport issue had come up as a major road block. Who knows, with Yusuf R taking the initiative this time, those interested would hurry up with making their passports. Or else, the trip would have to be limited to passport holders only. And that would mean a smaller-than-usual contingent.
Kiran Prakash:
* Arre kahi toh chalo. Do din Matheran ka hi chakkar laga kar aate hain. Shekhawat-ji, Yusuf-bhai kuchh karo. Otherwise now I will go alone. I am also in for the Bangkok trip. Do something organisers!
* And dear Blog Monster, to keep the record clean and straight, I salute our president, Mallika Kagji through this blog on her return from Surat.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Being a change from the daily routine, a picnic is always welcome. You may go a few miles away or to a far-flung outstation. You forget the daily routine and learn a few lessons in new environments. Keep moving. This is life.

Casting a Spell

Laxmi Naidu cuts her birthday cake

Hypnotism is one of those rarefied areas in science that inspires naughty thoughts. You could charm your way into anybody’s heart, get a reluctant lover to dance to your tune, force your boss to grant an out-of-turn promotion, cast a spell on a bank manager to open his coffers to you, drive out of a car showroom with the latest limousine without paying for it… in short, get anybody to do anything at your bidding.
We had all been living under this misconception till Laxmi Naidu’s son, Rajiv showed up this morning at the Garden. A professional hypno-therapist, he had us spellbound as he cleared the air on the

Rajiv Naidu

common fallacies surrounding hypnotism, the benefits of self-hypnosis, past-life regression, the workshops he has been conducting and so on. “There are some 50 to 60 students training under me,” he revealed. “The idea is to dispel the many myths and misunderstandings people have about hypnosis.”
But first things first. Laxmi Naidu turned 70 today (“officially”)

Yusuf Rassiwala presents Laxmi her birthday calendar

and she was celebrating her birthday for the first time. “Where do people like us celebrate birthdays?” she quipped. “It’s all very fine for youngsters to make a big deal about it. For me it has always been like any other day -- a low-key affair. But this time my son insisted I should celebrate with everybody in the Garden.”
Apart from Rajiv, Laxmi had her grandson, Siddhant to be present on the occasion. The latter played the perfect host as he scurried around serving the batata-vada, dhokla and sundry eats washed down by hot, home-made tea.
The best part though, was Laxmi cutting her birthday cake, followed by Yusuf Rassiwala presenting her the Club calendar to a round of applause and much merriment. And as for Rajiv Naidu, watch this space. He has promised to hold a hypnotherapy workshop for us around mid-month. The exact date and timing is yet to be confirmed.
Kiran Prakash:
It was nice of Rajiv to join us in our celebration of Laxmi Naidu's birthday. Let us make it a practice to invite the families of members on occasion. Having a workshop with Rajiv on hypnotherapy will indeed be informative to all of us. In fact, I am keen to learn self-hypnosis.
Bhaswati Bose:
Why self-hypnosis? We should instead learn how to hypnotise members who are irregular so that they fall in line with the rest of the Club.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is heartening to note that Mr Rajiv Naidu is going to conduct a class for the benefit of our Club members. Mr Kiran Prakash can in turn teach other members who cannot learn the hypnotherapy now. I wish Mrs Laxmi Naidu a very happy birthday. Wishing her good health and a joyful life.
Kiran Prakash adds:
* Bhaswati-ji, you may hypnotise members who are irregular. But let me learn self-hypnosis for my own development. I am yet to learn a lot in life and if self-hypnosis helps me, I shall be ever grateful to Rajiv Naidu.
* Once again Happy Birthday and many happy returns to Laxmi Naidu.

Old Age Blues

Shekhawat had gone missing on April 27, his birthday. So he missed out on his birthday calendar. Today, Banoo Apa performed the 'unfinished business' by presenting him his annual gift on behalf of Big Laaf.
Banoo Apa, very graciously, also treated us to home-made lassi after the exercises. She need not have. But out of sheer love and concern, she provided us the much-needed relief and refreshment in glassfuls to beat the sweltering heat.

Banoo Apa hands out refreshing lassi

Kajal celebrates daughter's birthday

Nothing could have been more god-sent.
If that were not enough, Kajal Babani ushered in her daughter's birthday, a day in advance. She had the most sinfully divine chocolate cubes to offer – something that would stay with us forever for its aftertaste. We have seen Neelam grow up and even as she is married now and settled abroad, this is wishing her Happy Birthday today itself!
Meanwhile, Shekhawat had a ball with his long-standing sparring partner, Ram Shankar Shukla. At 80 years, the latter took offence to being called an “old man”.

Shukla-Shekhawat chukling together

Poring over Shekhawat's birthday calendar

Shekhawat tried to reason that there is nothing to be ashamed about growing old and even sang a Rajasthani folk ditty, “Aayo budhapa ayo re!” for Shukla’s benefit. “I am not old,” the octogenarian insisted.
“Okay, do you remember the days when you could run turrr-turrr all around? Nowadays, you walk haltingly. Tukur-tukur. Tukur-tukur.”
Shekhawat felt the man was hurt. “Look at me,” he said. “Earlier I would be after beautiful women, woo them, took my chances. Nowadays, I just sit quietly on a bench looking at the trees, listen to birds chirping. What else can I do?”
“You may be old, I am not,” Shukla maintained.
Right then another Club elder came hobbling, cutting across the Garden. “Watch him,” Shekhawat said. “He will sit down on a bench, open his bag, take out a bottle, drink water, cork it back. When age catches up, we like to follow a routine.”
The elderly gent took his seat and as if on cue opened his bag, took out a bottle, drank water and corked it back. Shukla stared at him amazed and then his face brightened. “You are right!” he said, chuckling with Shekhawat.
We may be intent on celebrating Shekhawat’s 76th birthday, but he is by far the youngest at heart among us.
Kiran Prakash:
Whether by stealing, begging or demanding, I managed to get 3 divine chocolate cubes from Kajal Babani. I have never had the opportunity to meet Neelam, yet my best wishes and blessings are always with her. Neelam, I wish you a very happy birthday on May 4 and many happy returns of the day. Do meet us when you are in India next. God bless you.
And Banoo Apa, thank you very much for the cool, sweet refreshing lassi. Banoo Apa, apka dil bahut bada hai. Even without a reason you have treated us on many occasions.
Kajal Babani:
Thank you for your wishes. There is no begging or demanding. When chocolates are on the spot we all become kids. All in fun. Will convey your wishes to Neelam.
Dilip Babani:
Banoo Apa, the lassi was really very nice. God bless you. We were thirsty because of the hot weather. Thank you very much.
Kiran Prakash adds:
Kajal-ji, are you indirectly suggesting that it was stealing (since you have not mentioned it)? And please also keep in mind that on such occasions -- just like your marriage anniversary on May 11 -- when you come with such divine chocolate cubes, the kid in me gets too excited. Kindly account for that too. Many happy returns of the day well in advance!

Ghostly Tales

Shekhawat left for Rajasthan on April 19 to attend the last rites of a relative in his village. He cremated two other people and returned to the Garden this morning with a load of ghostly tales from the village.
The one to have freaked him out most was about a neighbour he had known rather closely. “He was a clerk in the district court and by village standards, was doing quite well for himself,” Shekhawat narrated. “He made around Rs3,000 every day from typing applications for litigants. On that fateful day, he left home as usual in the morning and thereafter, for some mysterious reason, abandoned work and disappeared.”
It seems when the man did not return home at night, a ‘search party’ from the village went out and traced his footsteps from his place of work.

No Laughing Matter: Shekhawat speaks of his Rajasthan trip

“They crossed four wells on the way and landed on a fifth well where three people had committed suicide earlier. The villagers found his body inside. Now tell me, if a man had to leap to death, why did he have to leave the four wells behind and die here? Obviously the ghosts of the earlier deceased were beckoning him.”
Another spooky tale Shekhawat recounted was of a wealthy neighbour who had apparently everything going for himself. “His son is settled in Italy and sends Rs150,000 by bank transfer every month. He owned two buses that were let out on hire, not to mention several cars in his garage. One fine morning this man was found hanging from the ceiling. Nobody can explain why.”
Shekhawat concedes that the incredible summer heat in Rajasthan has made people’s “buddhi bhrasht”. But he is also convinced that there are higher powers at play driving perfectly sane and otherwise happy people into taking the extreme step. He makes no secret of his belief that a certain chudail residing in his village is behind all this and claims to have even caught sight of the apparition once. When asked how it looked, his reply was succinct: “It is neither male nor female!”
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Ghostly tales have been prevalent in the past, especially in villages. At times to frighten children, someone would act as a chudail or play similar antics. However, this had ill-effects on those children in later life. The incidents narrated by Shekhawat have its own harrowing history. Our sympathies are with the bereaved families. May they have the courage to bear the loss of their beloved ones.
Kiran Prakash:
I am happy Shekhawat-ji has come back to Mumbai and is out of sight of those village ghosts and chudails. But what surprises me now is the ghost appearing in today's blog. Is it the same one which Shekhawat-ji is describing or the Blog Monster's discovery? This story needs to be buried forever before the entire Garden is haunted by it!
Dilip Babani:
We need to be careful as there are already chudails in our Garden. They have reversed feet and hunt for dinner and lunch. These ghosts and chudails are roaming free in the form of beautiful girls and women. Those who are scared need to put on a tabeej from some tantric baba like Asaram Bapu.