In High Spirits

Sporadic rainfall since yesterday has come as a huge dampener. The wet weather is however, not uncommon at this time of the year, especially on the eve of the Ganesh festival. It rained this morning also, resulting in skeletal attendance for the exercises today.
But then, Shekhawat was in high spirits. “They are preparing for the Jaipur trip (yesterday’s post),” he declared, referring to absentees like Yusuf Rassiwala, Zarina Khan and

Skeletal attendance for the exercises on a wet weekend

Nahid Khan who are otherwise quite regular for the exercises.
Shekhawat said that he has made inquiries with some transporters and in the next couple of days, should finalise the booking of a mini-bus for the trip – before he leaves for his village on September 3.
He was however, doubtful if everyone in the Club would be able to withstand the rigors of long-distance travel by bus, given the age and fitness level of some of our members. “But those who can make it are more than welcome,” he said.
Quite clearly Shekhawat is more excited than any of us about the trip. He informs that his village is not some remote, inaccessible settlement in the middle of nowhere but is like a mini-township that can be easily reached from the main road.
“On top of a hill is the temple of our village goddess (“mata ka mandir”) which overlooks a mela ground where the main Navratri and Dussehra celebrations are held,” he elaborated. “We have a big Ganesh temple also there… It will take you just 20 minutes to climb the steps and reach this point.”
What Shekhawat did not say was that he happens to be a major patron of the temple trust that organises the Dussehra festival every year.

Rajasthan Junket

Shekhawat will be taking the Club on an all-expenses-paid trip to Rajasthan next month so that members get to experience first-hand the Navratri and Dussehra festivities in his village.
“A mini-bus will be picking you up from here and on the way, you may do some sight-seeing if you like at Jaipur and Jodhpur. There is no need to book hotel as I have some spare rooms in my house.

Razia Khan demands 'token money' so that Shekhawat does not
back out of his commitment

The ladies may use those rooms while the men can very well sleep on the terrace,” he briefed (a disbelieving) Bijoy Gupta who was a little late for the exercises today.
Shekhawat’s benevolence has however, not been without some prodding, particularly from the lady members. “Don’t forget I am drawing a handsome pension,” he reassured them. “At the very maximum, I would spend one month’s pension on the trip. So be it!”
Gupta could still not believe his ears and insisted on seeing Shekhawat’s heart. “I am about to faint,” he said. “How could you develop such a big heart at the age of 80? Surely there must be some catch somewhere. I have never seen such large-heartedness from you in my life.”
As things stand, the trip will begin on September 27 (in the middle of Navratri) and end on October 4 (after Dussehra) at Mumbai. Shekhawat is leaving for his village on September 3 (next Tuesday). Before that, he shall make an ‘advance booking’ with his transporter for the bus. The rest will be taken care of by him upon our arrival at his village.
At Zarina Khan's instance, it was decided that the trip shall be restricted to members only. "They should also be regular and come in time every day," added Shekhawat.

Pet Peeves

Now that the rains have receded, we are done with the swarms of earthworms, leeches, caterpillars, millipedes and such assorted creepies and crawlies that used to invade the China Hut every

Silent admirer

morning as we exercised.
However, there remains one friendly centipede that continues to visit us at 7:00 a.m. sharp – particularly when Razia Khan is around. She cannot stand the sight of him, but he, in all simplicity, appears to be infatuated by her. Quietly and with utmost devotion, he follows her around the floor of the China Hut regardless of all her efforts at shooing him away.
We have been watching their love-hate relationship closely and oddly enough, have developed a liking for the poor fellow. His tenacity is admirable. Even Shekhawat makes sure nobody stamps upon him by mistake. Nahid Khan points out that he is special. Unlike many other worms, this one is unidirectional in its movement and does not buck up and down or move back and forth like some two-headed freak.

Razia Khan pulls Shekhawat's ears

The little chap has learnt to enjoy absolute freedom of movement in our midst, even as Razia could be hopping about changing her position constantly.
But then, to be fair, Razia is not the only one to suffer from a mortal fear of such admirers. Bhaswati Bose and Laxmi Hadimani (as she was to demonstrate today) are equally petrified at the very mention of a keeda. Their expression of horror is pure entertainment to us.
As peeves go, Shekhawat too has acquired a new one of late. He refuses to pull his ears during the tai-chi round. (Earlier it was about beating his chest, and then, of hitting the head.) Today, when he complained vehemently about being forced to pull his ears every morning, Razia Khan put an end to his misery in a beautiful way. She went to him and began tugging at both his ears forcefully to the count of 36.
We expected him to jump in pain, but surprisingly, Shekhawat enjoyed every moment of the ordeal.

Movie Outing

Movie poster

The movie mavens of the Club have woken up after prolonged hibernation. Bhaswati Bose, Santosh Tyagi, Yusuf Rassiwala and his wife, among others, got together today for the afternoon show of the latest thriller in town, Batla House at PVR Icon, Versova.
With John Abraham in the lead (playing a cop), the film is based on a controversial incident in 2008 at Jamia Nagar, Delhi wherein two fugitives holed up in a building were killed in a police encounter. Mrunal Thakur plays the romantic foil.
Significantly, Nahid Siddiqui was to go for the film, but backed out this morning. Everybody says there is too much violence in Batla House,” she explained. “At my age I cannot take any violence on screen. I get nightmares after watching such films.”
When told that what is shown is all make-believe, a figment of imagination of some filmmaker, Nahid pleaded

Nahid Siddiqui (second from rt) backs out of today's show

like a child: “But why can’t they make nice, romantic films only? I am ready to go for them any day.”
Her namesake Nahid Khan, who had already seen the film, confirmed that Batla House had too much bloodshed. Shekhawat tried to dissuade Siddiqui all the more by painting a grim picture of mindless gunfights and gore, but for "one item song" he does not remember.
Shekhawat’s going for Batla House in the same cineplex the day-before had in fact, prompted today’s movie outing. He has been all praise for the movie since yesterday, but funnily, does not remember the story, or any detail... not even the name of a single actor.
“But I liked the picture,” he insisted.
What however, has become a matter of eternal amusement in the Club is whether Shekhawat had gone for the movie alone. Much as he maintains that nobody had accompanied him, nobody believes him. Some even claim that he had shown them two tickets (stuck together) for the 9:45 morning show. So who was the second ticket for? It wasn't his wife for sure... Herein hangs a mystery.

DAY 2875

Pic of the Week

"Forgive me, for I know not what I shall say next..."

Or is this a new style of sit-up exercise -- ladies sit, gents stand up? --Unknown

Banned!

Razia Khan

Falling down in the course of exercising has been banned, effective today. “Because Yusuf (Rassiwala) Bhai fell down, we are having to do an extra exercise every day,” reasoned Razia Khan this morning.
The new rule pertains to the tongue wagging ‘Laughter No 5’ introduced last year after Yusuf R blanked out momentarily during the exercises and keeled over in the Garden. The tongue exercise, named after him, is supposed to strengthen and stimulate our brain cells.
Razia obviously does not approve of this. Being a woman in a perpetual hurry (what with having to also attend yoga classes), she

Long-overdue breakfast at Tiwari's, Juhu 

finds no merit in the tongue exercise but for it proving to be a colossal waste of time.
However, the provocation for her announcing the ban on falling down lay elsewhere. Nahid Siddiqui had started questioning the merit behind performing certain laughter exercises. “Why are we doing the Slow and Fast exercise?” she asked. “What are we trying to achieve?”
Her query was genuine and nobody could provide her with a convincing answer. Banoo Apa tried to counter her by asking what she had gained from rubbing her finger tips together for the Medium Laughter or Silent Laughter exercise.
“Those exercises are supposed to arrest hair loss,” Nahid Siddiqui replied confidently, only to trigger a volley of protests from the ladies, each claiming to be turning bald faster than the other. “Forget growing new hair, it is difficult to retain whatever little we have,” Banoo Apa retorted.
One thing led to another with every exercise analysed for its merit and demerit. That was when Razia Khan, seized by a malicious brainwave, announced her new ban, much to the amusement of all present.

Stuck in a Rut

Business as usual: Yapping after the exercises

Since the time we shifted from our regular stomping ground in the Garden, we have been struck by a peculiar sense of ennui. This happened early May during peak summer – just before the month of Ramazan – when the China Hut suddenly looked very inviting. Indeed, in the shade, with the benefit of overhead fans, we were spared the torture of sweating it out in the sweltering heat outside.
Ramazan came and went and we are still in the China Hut. The monsoon may have come as a convenient excuse for staying put, but in the bargain we are denying ourselves the joy of getting closer to nature and breaking into a sweat. And this is a pity. The very purpose of stepping out of doors early morning is defeated.
Worse still (and this is for the overly superstitious) we have got ourselves trapped in a routine that is mentally crippling. Not only has attendance nosedived, there is a virtual freeze in the so-called ‘extra-curricular’ activities of the Club. In the past four months, all we have done is celebrate birthdays (practically by default). We have not been able to even go out on a picnic.
We need to break out of this routine. Just exercising and thereafter, indulging in idle talk with the same set of people, day after day, is not a healthy practice. It also goes against the ethos of our Club. It was in this context that today, a decision was taken to venture out tomorrow after the exercises for breakfast at Tiwari’s in Juhu. No compelling. Anybody willing to join is most welcome... just as long as we are able to infuse some change into our daily routine.

Back from the Brink

Nasir Putani Shah narrates his tale of woe

The morning began on a happy note with Nasir Putani Shah showing up after almost four months. He had missed his birthday last Thursday.
Earlier on, we were told he was bed-ridden with a severe attack of asthma. But when Yusuf Rassiwala called him a fortnight back, we learnt that his condition was infinitely more critical – a matter of touch and go.
Phone calls later elicited no reply. Having witnessed his trauma

Kiran Prakash

whenever he was wracked by bouts of coughing in the Garden, we could only hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.
And then Bijoy Gupta unexpectedly saw him at the market day-before-yesterday. “I am back from the dead,” Gupta quoted him as saying.
Today we could get the story from the horse’s mouth. True, Nasir was in a critical condition, but it had nothing to do with asthma. In April, he was struck by a ‘mysterious’ stomach ailment that did not respond to treatment.
Around the same time, his son-in-law (who stays in the same house) was diagnosed with an advanced stage of diabetes and had to be hospitalised.
Given this situation, Nasir’s condition deteriorated out of neglect till it was his turn to be hospitalised. “We were two patients in the same house fighting for life,” he narrated. “How I recovered, I have no clue. It must be divine intervention. But I still feel very weak…”
Meanwhile, news comes in of Kiran Prakash developing a major eye issue. A 'suspensory ligament' that holds his corneal lens in place seems to have given way and requires attending to urgently. This involves surgery. And the surgeon who will perform the procedure has given him time only after a month.
Till then, Kiran Prakash has been advised against any movement that may cause jerking and in effect, aggravate his condition. We wish him the very best.

Delectable Chocolates

Happy Birthday, Anjali

Whatever may be said about Big Laaf, there’s one seemingly inconsequential but incredibly delectable fact that has escaped our attention. The variety of chocolates we have consumed in the past 15 years is simply beyond compare. It is unlikely that any human being anywhere in the planet has been able to sample as many kinds of chocolates as we have.
This morning Bihari Milwani’s elder daughter, Anjali celebrated her birthday by treating us to the unpronounceable Ghirardelli Squares – a slow-melting, multi-flavoured

Smart boy! Aman goes around distributing chocolates

brownie she had thoughtfully brought from the U.K. Imagine, a paper-thin layer of jam (or was it honey?) sandwiched between dark brown choco chips meant to arouse your senses! This was one more memorable 'chocolate experience' that became an addition to our collective repertoire.
Anjali’s birthday, arriving within a fortnight of her sister Karishma’s (ref post of August 7),

Zarina Khan

was special for another reason. She was with her son, Aman (not to mention papa Bihari and sis Karishma) who is now a grown up lad from what we saw of him last. He did not need to cling to his mom’s imaginary apron strings, but scampered around, even playing the gracious host, boldly proffering chocolates to all and sundry. It seemed like Aman was celebrating his own birthday today!
Unfortunately, we could not raise the fourth laugh for Anjali, as we usually do on everyone’s birthday. Zarina Khan had reported for the exercises post the funeral of her mother-in-law. In fact, we did away with the laughter rounds today as a mark of respect to the departed soul. May she rest in peace.

DAY 2870

Pic of the Week

Pandrah August: Jana gana mana adhinayaka jaya he...

Back in Form

Gupta (c) tries to corner Shekhawat (l) into submission 

After wallowing listlessly for the past four months, Bijoy Gupta was back on his feet today and started to take pot shots at Shekhawat. He announced at the start of the exercises that he had an important announcement to make. “Please do not leave after the exercises,” he urged.
Suspecting that he would be made a scapegoat, Shekhawat quickly collected his umbrella and bag after the exercises and tried to hurry out, only to find his way blocked by Gupta. “You cannot escape like this,” Gupta chided. “You’ve got to treat us all to idli-wada and tea today.”
“I don’t drink tea,” Shekhawat dismissed Gupta.
“Who cares,” Gupta retorted turning to the rest of the Club. He announced that Shekhawat, by his own admission, had made a humongous bank deposit and the least he could do for us was to give a breakfast treat today. “Many of you would faint if I were to disclose the amount he has invested,” Gupta said.
Shekhawat warmed up to the 'compliment' and drew a chair towards us. He revealed he was expecting a big hike in DA (dearness allowance) that would take his pension to astronomical heights. “So this calls for another party,” interjected Yusuf Rassiwala. “Right now are you treating us to idli-wada?”
“What idli-wada?” Bhaswati Bose and Nahid Khan screamed. “He should take us to Tiwari!”
Shekhawat blinked, but continued talking about his investments if only to divert everybody’s attention. But Gupta wasn’t giving up. “Tiwari is a good idea,” he said. “Let’s go to Tiwari.”
Again Shekhawat blinked. “But who is Tiwari?” he finally said, irritated. “What does he do?”
When Gupta said he would get to know once we reach Juhu, Shekhawat was convinced that this was a trap. Still he tried to divert our attention by discussing finance: “I have worked 35 years to earn all this… When I hit 80, government will double my pension,” he informed.
By then Gupta could see through Shekhawat’s diversionary tactics. “So you work for 35 years and draw pension for 50 years?” Gupta bellowed. “Is that it? You are looting Bharat Mata!”

Independence Day 2019

Bijoy Gupta leads the Independence Day march past with the national tricolor

Hari Singh Shekhawat got a promotion today. Dressed in formals with medals emblazoned across his chest, he strode up to the national tricolor, clicked his heels and pulled off a smart salute.

Shekhawat pulls off the ceremonial salute

“From an engine driver, he has become a defence officer!” Nahid Khan declared.
Thus began our Independence Day ceremony today. It went as per routine script – the saluting of the flag setting the stage for the national anthem. Soon after, the senior-most member of the club present, Bijoy Gupta took the flag

Fahmida Khan

from Banoo Apa (who was holding it aloft so long) and led the customary march past around the Garden.
People joined the parade while the flag changed hands and cries of ‘Bharat Mata Ki Jai’ and ‘Vande Mataram’ rent the early morning air.

Gupta regales with vintage patriotic numbers

This time Bihari Milwani led the refrain with Yusuf Rassiwala, Siba Prasad Maitra and some very voluble ladies filling in at times. Banoo Apa had a medley of patriotic songs playing all along on her music system, thereby adding to the festive air.
More importantly, there were Nahid Khan’s little grandkids, senior members like Khatoon Baig and Santosh Tyagi (who are rarely to be seen) and a host of well-wishers of the

Yusuf Rassiwala offers luddoos to all

Club like Saroj Muni, Mohar Singh and Manoj Motwani joining in with rare enthusiasm. Even Fahmida Khan and Naheed Siddiqui were there. In that sense, today’s celebration was more of a reunion of old friends.
At one point, Bijoy Gupta grabbed the mic and belted out a couple of full-throated desh bhakti film songs.
On a peppy note, Banoo Apa chipped in with some more patriotic songs raising a round of applause all around. Meantime, boxes of laddoos made the rounds, thanks to Yusuf R’s organising skills and initiative.
In all this, some people were sorely missed – Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd), Kiran Prakash, Karun Sharma, Razia Khan, Geeta Latte... If only they could have made it to the Garden today.

End of the show

Post Script: Today was Nasir Putani Shah's birthday also. He is not keeping well. In fact, he has been suffering for long with a severe asthmatic condition which has been turning worse by the day. He was in no state to even answer the phone today. Let us all pray for his recovery.

DAY 2867

Pic of the Week

DRESSED TO KILL: AT THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE WEEK

Basic Instinct

A PYT strayed into the Garden today. Dressed in tiny red top and hot pants, she drew a chair outside the China Hut, next to an old garden regular (who cannot be named). She was obviously his guest. But they hardly spoke. Suddenly she stood up, walked

Pic for representational purposes

to the nearby water cooler, filled a plastic bottle and then she was gone.
For the time she was around, we missed nothing. At least a dozen pair of eyes bored into her. Call it age-defying curiosity, a happy diversion from our regular routine or basic human instinct, we followed every action, every gesture she made – just that nobody spoke anything. The man she was with has been an old friend of the Club.
But this was not the case when, the other day, another PYT showed up on the walking track. She was an apparition in black – black track pants, black top, black sneakers, hair tied in a top knot…
Even Nahid Khan could not take her eyes off her. “How about asking her to join us?” she quipped. “She will add glamour to the Club.”
“She looks like some model,” speculated Bhaswati Bose. “With a member like her, it will never be a problem attracting more members. As it is, the Club can do with more members.”

Exercising in all seriousness

“True,” Shekhawat shook his head genially, his interest no longer in the exercises.
“But why should someone like her want to join our Club?” asked Zarina Khan.
“Whether or not anybody joins the Club, her presence will ensure that everybody comes in time and attendance is full every morning,” continued Nahid. By then all eyes were glued to the girl making repeated rounds of the Garden. Exercises had become secondary with jokes flying thick and fast. “Once she joins, Shekhawat will recover completely and never have to go to Colaba,” Rukhsana Khan chipped in.
“But I will get fever if she were to join!” said Bijoy Gupta matter-of-factly. After all, boys will be boys.

Lt Col Angad Singh:
Does this mean Bijoy Gupta believes that the young and nubile member would carry him in her lap to a doctor? O hush up, you naughty old chap!

Karun Sharma:
These discussions keep us young at heart.

Pleasant Surprise

Singing the birthday song for Karishma (ext right)

Bihari Milwani made a date with the Club today.
Correction: It was Karishma Milwani, his daughter from the U.S., who dropped by and gave us a surprise at the Garden this morning.
Reason: She had added a year and curiously enough, a few inches since we met her last.
As many bewildered members pointed out, she now stands almost shoulder to shoulder with her dad.
Some even speculated that it was the other way around – that it was daddy dear who had lost in height.
But then, this was a discussion that had to be left for another day. The point was that today,

Birthday Girl

Karishma treats us to chocolates

we got to usher Karishma’s birthday, raise the customary fourth laugh, sing the birthday song and in the end, were rewarded with boxes of chocolates.
The other reason for us to rejoice today was that we had a refreshingly dry and peaceful morning after almost a week.
It did not rain at all for the time we were there.
The air was in fact, quite cool and pleasant even as dark, rain clouds hung over the Garden. A gentle breeze wafted across the greens. Fresh grass had come up across stretches where we had seen muddied pools of stagnant water till the other day. Suddenly there were birds chirping and flying about. If only we could have such heavenly conditions prevailing right round the year!

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Happy Birthday to dear 'daughter' Karishma. Every dad is proud of his child when s/he attains his height. But it devolves additional responsibilities also. May God bless Karishma with good health, happiness and long life.

Karun Sharma:
Happy Birthday, Karishma. May God bless you with lots of luck and good health.

Dampening Spirits

Happy Birthday, Pushpa Gupta

For the first time, people in the Club needed to be persuaded to go to a ritzy restaurant for a fabulous breakfast bash early morning. Incessant rains over the past two days had dampened our spirits, prompting many of us to turn down Pushpa Gupta’s invite to a lavish treat on her birthday.
Her proposal initially was to go to High Point, our usual haunt, at least

Ladies try in vain to persuade the men to join them

on three occasions in the recent past. But after a spate of suspected food poisoning cases the last time around, some members developed cold feet. A few alternatives were suggested, including Tiwari’s, at Juhu. All those joints sounded “too far”, given the inclement weather since early morning. Ultimately, the choice zeroed in on Sreeji’s in Oshiwara, a relatively untested territory.
Earlier on, Shekhawat, in a bizarre display of quirkiness, called Pushpa at home on the pretext of having to present her the birthday calendar. “I hope you remember today is your birthday,” he hollered into his cell phone. “We are anxiously waiting for you in the China Hut. And don’t forget to get (hubby) Gupta-ji also.”
Pushpa turned up in time for our fourth celebratory laugh, followed by a chorus of the birthday song. Yusuf Rassiwala presented her the birthday calendar on behalf of the Club. And she distributed choco-wafers to all present.

Choco-wafers for everyone

Yusuf  R presents birthday calendar

The reluctance of some members on going out for an extended celebration was more of a cautionary measure. Apart from the fear of the skies opening up any moment, there were health concerns as well. Yusuf R complained of a relapse in his throat infection. Gupta himself was feeling “weak and out of sorts” since yesterday. Shekhawat walked away saying that he needed to go home to take his morning dose of medicines.
In the end, it was a predominantly all-women’s group that trooped out for the big birthday bash at Sreeji’s.

Waiting to be served: Pushpa's breakfast treat at Sreeji's on her birthday today

Bihari Milwani:
This sounds more like kitties' party, than a birthday party.

DAY 2863

Pic(s) of the Week

WHEN TWO WARRING LIONS... MAKE PEACE

CELEBRATING 'WORLD FRIENDSHIP DAY' (pic: Geeta Latte)

Yeh dosti, hum nahin torenge /Torenge dum /Magar tera saath na chhodenge --Bihari Milwani

Under the Weather

Bijoy Gupta

Bijoy Gupta turned up for the exercises unusually late and within minutes, began to hyperventilate. Much as he tried to make light of it, he was requested to take a seat and quietly relax. Eventually he relented, but his condition turned from bad to worse. He looked flushed and kept wiping his face.

Exercising in China Hut while it rains cats and dogs outside

“I don’t know why I am sweating so much,” he complained.
It was apparent that he was in distress since he kept shifting position to be directly under a fan in the China Hut. It was raining continuously outside. Ultimately, at the instance

Yusuf Rassiwala

of Nahid Khan and Razia Khan, he agreed to go home and take rest. He was escorted out through the heavy downpour and deposited safely at his place.

Zarina Khan

Banoo Apa

Gupta is not the first victim of foul weather this year. It is unlikely that any one of us has been spared by the current monsoon spell. Banoo Apa is yet to recover from the viral epidemic that struck her a week back. Zareena Khan is similarly down since last Tuesday. Kiran Prakash is also indisposed. Yusuf Rassiwala was nursing a sore throat, body cramps and fever till he had to rush to Surat on work, braving torrential rains. The good news is that he returned yesterday, secure and sound.
Significantly, there are some members who are quite fine and yet, have stopped coming to the Garden. They do not obviously want to take chances. With the virus in the air, the general apprehension is that they too would catch it while exercising in the closed confines of the China Hut. But then, do we have a choice?