Wakey, Wakey!

With Dussehra coming up this week-end, Renu Babani (left) has asked for a “remedy” (see 88th post of October 11) to banish the Kumbhakaran in her. The request is all the more timely since regular members like Srichand Arora, P.Motwani and Tara Chand seem to be down with a similar affliction today. Even Renu’s hubby, Kishor did not show up this morning.
Obviously, something’s seriously wrong somewhere. And it's getting infectious. The other day, Yusuf Rassiwala remarked that “waking up early in the morning is no joke”. Sure, it is difficult. But we can offer five sure-fire tips to make things easy:
* There’s no point discussing bio-rhythm, the merits of self-discipline, etc. to wake up early. It never works. Rather, set the Alarm of your cell phone with an irritatingly screechy caller tone and place it next to your pillow. Do not put on pleasant music as the damn thing would lull you back to sleep.
* Imagine all the terrible possibilities of not leaving the bed at 5:30 sharp. You might miss an important flight. Mosquitoes from the Garden would swarm into your bedroom and devour you. You’d dream of a headless monster. A snake could creep into your bed-sheets. Mad Madrasi Subbu would come knocking at the door…
* Most important, lights off at 10:30 pm. You are programmed to spend one-third of your life horizontal. So seven to eight hours of sleep is a must. Watching Shekhawat’s son’s late-night soaps or Commonwealth Games on TV is not a good idea.
* Give yourself a task – say, keeping Arora’s music system in your custody. You’d automatically be obliged to rush to the Garden and set up the system before the others arrive. The feeling of guilt of depriving members of good, soulful music in the morning should be enough motivation for you to spring out of bed.
* If this too does not work, try sleeping on a hard mattress – or no mattress, or better still, on a cold, wet, slippery floor. You’d be awake for the best part of the night, simply praying for it to be morning.
Finally, if all else fails, go for the tried-and-tested method of your mother when you had a school bus to catch in the morning. Instruct someone at home to splash cold water on your face at 5:30. Anybody would happily do this to you – even at the risk of losing life and limb!

Renu Babani says:
Thanks so much for all the helpful tips for getting up early. I honestly liked all of them and was highly amused. I can just imagine myself in the morning if hubby was to splash cold water on me. I would look at him with sleepy eyes, but irritated for sure, and just waiting to get back at him for this unrequired method of getting me up. However, I shall attempt some of these methods and surely something will work out. The worst part is I feel so guilty afterwards and chide myself for being so lazy! Bottom line, need to move my butt out of bed whether I like it or not and get to the Garden like before. Enough is enough!
--Renu