‘One-Boy, One-Girl’

Exercising THEN...

...and exercising NOW

Over the past one week, the Club has acquired a new egalitarian look as we exercise in the Garden. Gone are the days when men took up one half of the circle and women, the other half. No inter-mingling was allowed. An unwritten rule stipulated that the sexes ought to be segregated during the exercises and there can be absolutely no question of a male crossing over to the female half of the circle, and vice-versa.
That rule no longer exists. Today, the circle is formed with men and women alternating, or what in Nahid Khan’s words is the ‘One-Boy One-Girl’ formation. Consequently, every person is flanked by a member of the opposite sex on either side -- the idea being that conversation during the exercises is kept to a minimum. The major chatterboxes among women, who had formed little groups among themselves while the exercises were on, could not be separated by any other way.
However, what has come to pass is that instead of the private banter and suppressed titters women used to exchange (which, no doubt, were distracting to curious men) we are having a good deal of cross-talk and shouting during the exercises. A casual remark raised by say, Razia Khan for her friend, Mallika Kagzi at another end of the circle, now becomes a proclamation with Mumtaz Jahan replying out-of-turn at the top of her voice and before long, everyone joins issue, one outshouting the other.
This happens three or four times every morning. While Shekhawat is having a field day, a silly comment that could be dismissed with a smile between two ladies standing in close proximity now becomes a major public discourse. And willy nilly the molehill becomes a mountain. Maybe, this is also entertainment to many, but a number of ladies (significantly, the late comers) are not liking it. As Mumtaz put it frankly: “What is this new panga? We come to the Garden to talk, but now we cannot even do that!” Surely, time will tell.
Harish Wadhwa:
Looking at the Thought of the Day, I sincerely recommend Bose-babu and Arora-ji to take up a working assignment at some petrol pump.
Bhaswati Bose:
I wholeheartedly agree with you, Harish. They should remain there till they kick the (smoking) habit.

Lest We Forget…

BAPU RANE

Exactly a year back, on this day, we lost a very dear friend and colleague. Shanta Ram Rane. We called him Bapu Rane. Bapu, in short. He liked this association with Bapu Gandhi and would gladly pose for photographs wearing borrowed bifocals. Nafisa Sayyad used to say that all we needed to create a traffic jam was tying a white dhoti around his waist and letting him walk around bare-bodied with a stick. Mumbai would grind to a halt!
Rane had a distinctive dressing style – loose-fitting trousers, half-sleeved short kurta and leather slippers.

Ruksana Khan's daughter, ALIZA pays us a visit

He never took the walking track, but would cut across the Garden and displaying a toothless grin, did a jig before joining us for the exercises. His calling card was “Namatte”! But for Monthi Serrao, he always reserved a special “Good Morning”. Many such memories are linked to this gem of a gentleman – incidentally, one of the founders of our Club. His energetic dance with Shekhawat every day after the exercises, the home-made besan luddoos he brought on special occasions, the jokes he shared on counting mango trees back in his village, the way he slipped in his dentures when a ‘party’ was on… Completely non-controversial, he kept to himself and yet, was always there for everybody.
Then one day, he stopped coming. We heard he was unwell and could not ingest food. On rare occasions when he showed up, he said he was taking ayurvedic treatment.

Business as usual in the Garden

Word got around that he had cancer. Many of us offered help, but he was too proud to accept money. And when the doctors gave up, discharging him from hospital, we knew his days were numbered. He had stopped eating.

Monthi Serrao

Even then, lying on his death bed, he drew up a list of people to whom freshly-plucked mangoes from his village should be sent. That was his last wish... and a parting gift.
Did we observe Rane’s first death anniversary?
No. For one, memories of his suffering are so raw that none of us has the courage to relive that grief. For another, there is little we could do beyond paying lip service with a prayer. And Rane never stood on ceremony. But if there is life after life, surely he would have watched over us this morning with a bemused look -- chuckling at Shekhawat’s non-stop pranks, Arora sharing a video clip on his iPad, the attention Ruksana Khan’s daughter Aliza got from the oldies… and perhaps have even greeted Monthi with a silent ‘Good Morning’ as she winged her way to a wedding in Bangalore today.
Life goes on. But we will always miss Bapu Rane.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Blog Monster, you have truly touched my heart with this extraordinary homage to our dear friend, late Bapu Rane. Really, there are special people in our lives who we can never forget, long after they are gone. Late Bapu Rane is one who will always live in our hearts.
Harish Wadhwa:
Life changes so fast, so unexpectedly. The pain stops for many of us as we meet new people and friends at Big Laaf, but the gap of love and respect for a missing member never closes. No one can fit that space. Those toothless grins, his “Namatte” greeting all, impromptu breaking into a brisk waltz with Shekhawat-ji... showed his simplicity and humility. We remember and pay our respects to Rane-ji.

Good Samaritan

Jagmohan Papneja

First things first: The contentious issue over replacing the lost mobile of a senior member (see yesterday’s post) was resolved this morning without a fuss. Jagmohan Papneja discreetly handed him a Nokia handset complete with its packaging, user’s manual and accessories. “It is an old, but unused piece lying at home,” Papneja said. “Take it, this is yours!”
We all have spare mobile phones lying around in our homes, but not one of us had cared to help the elderly gentleman in need.

Blessings and wishes for Ram Shankar Shukla

Instead, we made a song and dance on the gifting and here was Papneja (who wasn’t even in the loop) coming forward with a neat, unpacked set which took the old man by surprise. “How much do I pay for this?” was his first question. “Nothing, it’s yours,” repeated Papneja, in the true spirit of a samaritan. This shows his magnanimity – his compassion and largeness of heart -- something we all need to ‘learn’ desperately.
The other important event of the day was Ram Shankar Shukla’s 79th birthday. Doubled up, more out of a debilitating viral fever than age, he was at the Garden at Shekhawat’s behest but could barely stand.

Story session of the IPL match at Brabourne Stadium

He sat quietly on a bench, waiting for us to complete our exercises so that he could distribute some luddoos and return home. But by then his condition became so bad that Arun Patil had to drop him back by car.
Meanwhile, Srichand Arora had a captive audience clued to his recounting of the IPL playoff between CSK and Mumbai Indians at Brabourne Stadium last evening. He was there with Bhaswati Bose, right in the thick of action. Shekhawat informed he was seen “full tight” on TV, dancing around, but Arora insisted he had downed only three vodkas. Bhaswati mimicked his antics with the spectators and what a popular 'Uncle-ji' he had become to them. One "beautiful" (but mischievous) lady even compared him to Pollard, leaving Arora utterly confused over whether he had suddenly turned black in the stadium. Of course, drinks and food were unlimited and on the house, but more than anything, it was the electrifying atmosphere around that had left a lasting impact on the Club’s two hardcore cricket lovers.
Watch out for their photograph at the stadium this Sunday.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Congratulations, Shukla-ji on turning 79. Happy Birthday on this special day and wishing you continuous good health and happiness.
Bhaswati Bose:
* It's a nice gesture from Jagmohan-ji. We are lucky to have such a member in our club who believes in deeds rather than words.
* Shukla-ji, have a wonderful, happy and healthy birthday with many more to come!

Moral Quandry

A casual comment by Monthi Serrao yesterday yielded a double bonus today. Geeta Sardana brought the prasad of not one, but two temples from her trip down south. It is another matter that she does not remember which temples they were (“I visited so many temples, I just cannot remember!”) or their location. But then, as they say, god resides equally in all temples and more importantly within us. So it was imperative to feed the god within us and we enjoyed it thoroughly.

Another casual throwaway by Monthi yesterday (see post), got Sitaram Hivarkar agitated today. He had brought along his Club identity card and a copy of the membership list to prove that his name was not Sita Ram but there was a Hivarkar attached to it. Srichand Arora instantly held his ears and apologized on behalf of the Club, if there was any misunderstanding. But Arun Patil, who knows better, engaged Sitaram in tracing his ancestry, including village name and finally conceded that he was indeed a Hivarkar.
But these were minor matters compared to a moral quandary the Club management has got into.

Sitaram Hivarkar with Arun Patil 

A senior member (name withheld) reported today that he has lost his mobile phone and now wants to withdraw his share of subscription money from the Club kitty to buy a new handset. Out of respect and sympathy, Arora is inclined to gift this gentleman a new mobile, but is being stonewalled by a few committee members. Their general argument is that this would set a bad precedent and we cannot afford to play favorites.
“What happens if I lose my spectacles and want the Club to pay for it?” asked one.
“My maid has left me,” said another. “Will the Club find me a replacement?”
“At this rate, if someone’s wife runs away, should we go around finding him a new wife?” questioned a third.
The counter-argument, as forwarded by Arora, is that we cannot be heartless when a fellow member is in distress and seeks help. After all, a basic mobile does not cost much and if push comes to shove, those who want to help can individually chip in and make do the loss. But here is an opportunity to help a person in need and given his seniority and stature, we should gift him the mobile. For people his age, a mobile is not a luxury but a necessity.
It is now for the Club management to take a call.
Srichand Arora:
Friends, I am in favor of helping our members if the problem is genuine. Where does the question arise on paying for spectacles, finding a maid, etc. I suggest you all think this over and have your say.
Jagmohan Papneja:
* There is no exercise better than helping our own colleagues in distress as far as possible.
* I've got an interesting fact to share. You can track your mobile, should you lose it if you had dialed *#06# from that mobile. Your mobile would show a unique 15 digit number. Note down the number somewhere as this is the number which will help trace your mobile in case of theft. Once lost, you just have to mail this 15 digit IMEI number to cop@vsnl.net. Your mobile will be traced within 24 hours via of GPRS and Internet.

New Ruse

Bihari Milwani offers 'prasad' from his pilgrimage to Shirdi

What has Geeta Sardana brought from her pilgrimage?

In the stifling stillness of the morning air, late comers have found a new ruse for not turning up on time. It has nothing to do with waking up late, getting caught up elsewhere... or any major preoccupation, but the promise of bringing in the breeze.
So every time someone arrives in the middle of the exercises, word gets around, “Hawaa ley ke aayi hai!” Strangely, with each arrival, a gust of wind would create a mild flutter in the trees around and all is forgiven for the late-coming. Some like Monthi Serrao, Bhaswati Bose and Kiran Makharia have acquired the reputation of being extra propitious as their arrival is uncannily accompanied by a gentle breeze for a prolonged period.
Things have now reached a point when we actually want certain people to come in late for that all-important gust. Coming early serves no purpose and all the regulars known for their punctuality have become good-for-nothings. According to Monthi, the most prized late comer is Sitaram Hivarkar. Why? “He has two names, Sita and Ram and so he brings two gusts of wind”!
It is this penchant of members at turning an ordinary situation into extraordinary that generates much goodwill and of course, non-stop laughter during our exercises. But Nahid Khan stole the thunder today for her joke on two blundering couples in adultery and Bhaswati topped it with her tale about a group of men on pilgrimage having to mutter ‘Hari Om’ every time they caught sight of some village belle bathing in a stream. Shekhawat could not hold himself after that and just of kicks, began addressing all and sundry in the Garden with a ‘Hari Om!’
Geeta Sardana has returned from her pilgrimage of the holy sites of Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Kerala. Bihari Milwani had also gone on pilgrimage, to the Sai Baba temple of Shirdi and was back today with a bowl of luddoos as ‘prasad’. This gave rise to a chorus of demands for a trip to Shirdi from the Club, if only to say “Hari Om!” But it was promptly shot down by Monthi Serrao.

Old Age Blues

Whatever be the blessings of old age, there is a load of physical and mental concerns we all need to carry and it shows in many ways. Forget the usual anxieties on health, senility, personal grooming, managing time, family or financial insecurities, etc. These are commonplace. But what shows up increasingly, particularly among our members, is the sense of acceptance – of coming to terms with the finality and a reluctance to take on the future.

Srichand Arora

On the positive side, there is also the incomparable exuberance to make the most of our ‘borrowed time’. Every birthday or wedding anniversary is celebrated in the Club with renewed gusto, especially when it is some jubilee. For example, Srichand Arora’s promise to host a grand party (see post of May 19) on his 50th wedding anniversary three years from now, has generated heightened optimism all around.

Geeta Sardana

It gives us something to look forward.
Likewise, everyone gets on an overdrive the moment Shekhawat announces a picnic or an outstation trip, no matter where it is headed or what the cost might be. As Nahid Khan famously says, “Who knows whether we would ever be able to go another time.” This is the common refrain and it summarily puts a lid on all the glitches, arguments, even fights during past trips. And we live for another day – forgiving and forgetting. No wonder, the Club trips have become so popular.
Yet, there would be someone like Geeta Sardana who has sleepless nights wondering what will happen to the money accumulated in the Club kitty (by way of subscriptions) once we are no more. “Just watch out,” she cautions all members. “One by one, we’d kick the bucket and all the money in the bank shall remain unspent. Does anybody know what will happen to our money?”
Still, it was important for her to put in her annual subscription before most others – just as long as she knows she ‘belongs’ – yes, to the Club.

Day 1302

Pic of the Week

What fate awaits these gentlemen... Get out their bowls!

Bhaswati Bose:
Chhey becharey, bina saharey... dekho maang-maang ke haarey!
Jagmohan Papneja:
What brings them here? Surprisingly these intellectuals have never been seen together in the circle for the exercises.
Harish Wadhwa:
They are all tea consumers and prime ministerial/ presidential candidates in their next lives.

Yummy Treats

Mangalorean pudding cakes from Monthi Serrao

Monthi Serrao did not get us mud cakes; not even the version Srichand Arora had specifically asked for before she left for Mangalore (see post of May 7). Instead, she brought us something much, much better this morning -- coconut-jaggery pudding, neatly sliced into rectangular blocks that tasted out of this world. This is one sweet meat Mangoleareans have been adept at conjuring. And to prove its provenance, Monthi had the box to show: Royal Bakery, Vishweshwarayya Building, Udupi Bus Stand, Mangalore…
More than this, it was the intent that mattered. Monthi was not fulfilling a formality to mark her return from an outstation trip, but was keen to treat us to a unique food experience – a special something that we could not have otherwise enjoyed (at least) in Mumbai. It was precisely with this sentiment that Harbans Kaur had earlier treated us to crunchy sesame-encrusted coconut crackers from Ludhiana on May 14 and likewise, Mallika Kagzi brought us those lip smacking giant nankhatais from Surat on May 20.

Arun Patil (left) with new club t-shirt

There are many such examples, with members like Jagmohan Papneja, Razia Khan, Teja Singh Bhambra and others, equally intent upon sharing the goodies from the place they had visited and giving us the taste, probably of a lifetime.
This is what makes our Club exceptional. All these people could well have done with distributing luddoos or perhaps, chocolates that are available locally in Lokhandwala and nobody would be any wiser. But to think of picking up an unusual delicacy from a distance, packing them carefully so that they survive the journey back (remember, most of the stuff is highly perishable) and then to share them with all in the Garden is indeed extraordinary. Sadly, many of us have forgotten the decency to acknowledge this act of generosity with a basic ‘thank you’. Clearly, we are having too much of a good thing going.
On a different note, here is Arun Patil (left) displaying the new Big Laaf t-shirt with the club’s ‘smiley’ insignia printed on the pocket and at the back. Very soon other male members would be sporting these olive-green t-shirts. Significantly, nobody has thought of designing such distinctive clothing for female members to wear with pride.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Thank you very much, Monthi-ji for the delicious coconut-jaggery pudding (son of halwa-type item) you brought for us all the way from Mangalore. By the way, when you are going next?

‘Choked Carburetors’

Ved Prakash Grover

Yusuf Rassiwala

Sandhya Narang

We are in trouble. Deep trouble. One by one, our members are falling ill – mostly with throat infection. While we try to cheer them up by jokingly comparing their odd rasp and constant coughing with that of a ‘choked carburetor’ (to borrow Arun Patil’s phrase), there can be no gainsaying that the viral outbreak this summer in the Club is unprecedented. The repressive heat and humidity in the air has done us in.
Yesterday Ved Prakash Grover had a relapse of the virus and today, when he came, he could barely speak. “What to say, the coughing refuses to subside,” he whispered. Ram Shankar Shukla is still under the weather. Earlier this month, Nahid Khan was down with a similar bout of viral fever and coughing.

Papneja distributes the medical forms

This morning Shekhawat called up Yusuf Rassiwala and it was the same story there as well. Choked carburetor. Ditto Sandhya Narang, who showed up today after a few days of absence. “I have never had such sore throat,” she complained. “The coughing has still not gone.”
Many suggested she visit Khatoon Baig’s doctor who had treated her for a similar ailment ten days back. Razia Khan, who had the worst and the most prolonged spell of whooping cough, was cured by the same doctor recently. Apparently he sits somewhere in Oshiwara and charges Rs1000 per consultation. The funny part though is that Khatoon now refuses to part with any more detail, so possessive has she become towards this mysterious medicine man.

Santosh Tyagi

In sharp contrast, Jagmohan Papneja is extremely forthcoming with any medical information in his possession that could be of possible of help to members. Today, he revealed a Senior Citizen Health Care Scheme under the aegis of the Brahma Kumari’s Hospital, near Andheri Station. He even distributed enrollment forms, involving a one-time payment of Rs1000, which should be a huge boon to our elderly members.
Incidentally, this is the same hospital where Santosh Tyagi had her gall bladder removed. The surgery was successful, but she is yet to recover from weakness. Worse, she too has fallen victim to the viral epidemic. She has become so weak that the other day she simply collapsed in her wash room out of dizziness. Luckily, she did not sustain any major physical injury, but her self-confidence has taken a bad knock. She needs to rest some more to recoup completely.
Harish Wadhwa:
I can only wish and pray that each member keeps good health. It is the biggest blessing one can get in life. Get well soon all of you, so that you can roar in the Garden during the sher bano exercise.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Throat infection and coughs are treated depending upon its cause. For most elders, treatment involves gargling hot saltwater regularly to remove mucus and soothe the throat.

Crazy World

CORONATION CEREMONY: Razia 'caps' Mallika

It’s a crazy world we have created around ourselves. A pen drive, that refused to open anywhere, wakes up magically this morning and plays folk songs on Arun Patil’s speaker box. A new member gone missing, is sought to be tracked through his wife. A diamond solitaire, long given up as lost, was discovered by its owner today in the Garden… And into this mad, mad world, a new member was admitted with a Club cap!
Mallika Kagzi has been religiously attending our exercises and within three weeks has endeared herself to all members. So when she complained of the terrible heat this morning, Srichand Arora left the exercises for home and returned with a Club cap to cover her head from the blazing sun.

MISSING: Bijoy Gupta

The ‘coronation ceremony’ that followed makes Mallika a member in principle, pending a formal approval by the Club at its next meeting.
Another newly inducted member, Bijoy Gupta became a cause for concern after he did the vanishing trick. For more than a month, there has been no trace of him, thus leading to all kinds of speculation. Shekhawat today added to the mystery with an ambiguous comment: “He cannot come to the Garden because of his wife”. “Chalo, let’s find his wife then,” suggested Nahid Khan. Somehow, that sounded as the most brilliant solution to our make-believe problem.
Shekhawat himself was in a fix over a pen drive someone gifted him in his village. It contained rare recordings of Rajasthani folk – just that he was unable to play it. He tried the music player at home, the PC, DVD player, laptop, TV set… nothing worked. His wife concluded that he had been made “ullu” of with a dud pen drive.

LOST AND FOUND: Is it a genuine diamond?

So to prove her wrong, he brought it today to the Garden and lo and behold, Arun got the damn thing playing. It was an incredible moment of triumph for Shekhawat as he can now tell his wife that he is not what she thinks.
Another happy person was Bhaswati Bose who found a diamond piece shining amid the grass of the Garden this morning. Two days back, she discovered that the diamond in her wedding ring had fallen off and since then, she had been moving heaven and earth trying to trace it. She didn’t stand a chance because she had no clue when it had fallen off, where (it could on the roads or at home, even in the sink) and most important, it was no more than a tiny speck. But for pure sentimental reasons, she persisted with her search. And there it was today, in the Garden, waiting to be picked up. Everybody dismissed it as too much of a coincidence. But she took it home and tried it on her ring. It fitted perfectly. Now what remains to be checked is whether it is the genuine diamond… or a worthless glass imitation.
Jagmohan Papneja:
* We are pleased to welcome Ms Mallika Kagzi as a member of Big Laaf -- one of the most inspiring clubs around.
* People like you, Bhaswati-ji are known to work towards their goal every day without fail. As a result you were able to get back your precious diamond. No doubt you have proved that diligence is the mother of luck.
Harish Wadhwa:
Miracles do happen, just that they don't happen to me (sob, sob)! But congratulations to Bhaswati-ji for finding the diamond of her ring. But the diamond she owns (as a husband) outshines the glow of the one she found after such diligent search. Lucky she now boasts of two diamonds locked in her home and her heart.

Unstoppable

Arora tries to contain Shekhawat during the exercises

Mumtaz Jahan came and made Hari Singh Shekhawat’s day. She listed the names of prominent Indian politicians (cutting across party lines) who were compulsive drinkers and couldn’t do without their daily tipple every evening. “No politician can claim the high moral ground,” she declared.
Mumtaz should know as she is an ‘active member’ of the NCP and hobnobs with the high and mighty in Delhi. But even if that weren’t so, what she said was supreme music to Shekhawat’s ears. At least he could now count himself in exalted company because of his drinking habits. And when Mumtaz mentioned the name a lady alcoholic (“she even appears bleary eyed and slurs on TV”) he went berserk. “Please, please introduce her to me,” he pleaded with Mumtaz like a lost child.

Ram 'Gurukul' Shukla

Whether or not this was meant to be a joke, it set the mood for the morning. Shekhawat was all over the place, popping like a hyperactive jack-in-the-box, clapping and dancing… and the exercises be damned. With Mumtaz and Razia Khan egging him, he was simply unstoppable. Distracted by the antics, Srichand Arora walked up to calm him down, but to no avail. Nahid Khan divined that at this rate, we would take forever to complete today’s exercises.
The heartbreak moment came at the end when Mumtaz refused to pay her annual subscription of membership because she was irregular in her attendance. “Why should I pay when I do not come very often?” she reasoned. “Strike my name out of the club list if you like!”
“Look Mumtaz-ji, it is always easy to come out but never easy to re-enter,” Shekhawat advised her in all innocence. What he meant was with reference to the Club, but the way it sounded in Hindi made all the ladies turn crimson. Realising the faux pas, Shekhawat instantly bit his tongue, only to double up, laughing his guts out. And that sealed the issue.
If there was one person Shekhawat missed all morning, it was his favourite sparring partner, 'Gurukul'. Also known as Ram Shankar Shukla, he has sent word seeking “one week’s leave” because of viral fever that has rendered him weak and bed-ridden. We trust he is taking good care of himself and recovers soon.

Beat the Heat

Morning Slog

The weather bureau had forecast a ‘bright and sunny’ day. So a dark and cloudy morning came as no surprise. But our joy was shortlived. All hopes of a cool shower evaporated mid-morning when the sun came out of the clouds with a vengeance and in all its blazing fury. Worse, humidity levels reached such oppressive heights that we were left literally pooped and dripping in sweat.

Geeta Sardhana

“I can’t take it any more,” said Sandhya Narang, echoing the desperation of many ladies, who for once, contemplated abandoning the exercises and returning home. Sitaram Hivarkar confessed he was determined to be punctual today for the exercises, but ran out of breath half-way from home because of the heat. “I started feeling faint,” he narrated. “For the first time in my life, I took an autorickshaw to the Garden.”
But the general discomfort had also become a cause for wicked humour all around. Arun Patil made light of everyone perspiring profusely and insisted that we were actually enjoying a natural sauna bath. “There's no need to take a shower when you go home,” added Ved Prakash Grover helpfully. “You have already had a natural bath in the Garden!"

Surati nankhatais from Mallika Kagzi

Razia Khan was however, far from amused. “From tomorrow we should bring a fresh change of clothes from home,” she suggested. “Once we get wet after exercising, we would all change into dry clothes…” “Don’t be silly,” interrupted Harbans Kaur, obviously having bizarre visions of members changing en masse in the open Garden. “Let there be a little breeze and your clothes will dry automatically and give you a cool air conditioned feeling.” Needless to mention, there was no breeze.
One person who could get away from all this was Geeta Sardhana. She has packed her bags for a religious tour of Kerala, where the monsoon has already struck. But there was Mallika Kagzi who had brought us a box of Surati nankhatai, probably in the hope it would provide some relief. But our throats were already parched and the dry biscuits only made matters worse. If anything, this should serve as a reminder to carry bottles of drinking water to the Garden from tomorrow.
Jagmohan Papneja:
The humid weather nowadays saps us of our physical strength and fatigue sets in more quickly than under normal conditions. To avoid uneasiness, drink plenty of water and beat the heat.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Papneja-ji, no one should be complaining of fatigue. Each day you are all feasting on goodies for one reason or the other and getting that extra dose of energy.
* Yes, it is very hot. And yesterday was the third hottest day in May in the last decade.
* Even our folks at home are not treated so well as the Garden friends. The nankhatais are looking (and must also be tasting) yummy.

Salutations!

Srichand and Kiran Arora share the first bite of pedas

Fools celebrate birthdays. You have no hand in your birth and can claim no credit (nor blame) for surfacing on earth. Birth is an accident. But marriage is a choice. And to sustain that marriage, year after year, calls for strength of character, dedication, sacrifice, tolerance... in short, a lot of hard work. So every wedding anniversary deserves more than just compliments and good wishes.

The Milwani card

Today, the 47th wedding anniversary of Kiran and Srichand Arora deserved a big salute. At a time when urban marriages are not expected to last beyond a decade, here was a couple who has weathered it all through thick and thin for close to half a century and this morning, came out smelling of roses. No amount of hugging and hand pumping, the customary extra laugh, cheers and the many accolades showered on them after the exercises were adequate enough to express our collective admiration for this handsome husband-wife duo.

Celebrating with special brown pedas from Mathura

Perhaps the most befitting (and off-beat) tribute came from Bihari Milwani and his lovely daughter who, true to (family) tradition, presented the Aroras with a beautiful personalized home-made anniversary card. In a way they made up for what the rest of us were found wanting. Our contribution in the short but sweet celebration was limited to gorging greedily on special choco-brown pedas Arora had treated us to and making merry. Still, the high point of the morning was when the couple took the first bite of the sweet – one feeding the other with the warmth and affection that can only come out of 47 years of loving and sharing.
We wish them many more years of togetherness – in continuing on their happy journey, hand-in-hand, secure in the assurance of being there for one another. As the French say, “There can be only one happiness in life – to love and be loved.”
Bhaswati Bose:
So just three years to go for the BIG TREAT... We will wait patiently and greedily. Kya kare, BIG LAAF ke member hai, aadat se majboor hai!
Srichand Arora:
* The anniversary is not that important, but our dear BLOG MONSTER has made it so. Just read the blog! How nicely - beautifully and heart touchingly -- it has been described by him. Wow! We all love you. God bless you. I am sure, hereafter we might forget to celebrate birthdays but can never forget MARRIAGE ANNIVERSARIES.
* Bhaswati-ji, treat toh banta hai aur baki ke teen saal dekhna kitni jaldi beet jate hain. Bus thora sa intejar aur!
Harish Wadhwa:
* Blog Monster, I agree with every word in the blog today, except the fact that marriage is also an accident and NOT a choice. Yes, sustaining it is an art.
* Kudos to Arora-ji and Kiran Bhabhi-ji on their 47th wedding anniversary. The wonderful observation about the couple is that both are always smiling and happy-go-lucky. Rab yeh jodi saat janmon tak banaye rakhe!
* I genuinely appreciate Milwani-ji's daughter's hand-made card that carries a personal and affectionate touch. Children must learn from this gesture. Keep it up!
Srichand Arora adds:
Harish-ji, I would like to respond to your comment. Let me say that if one is in a love marriage, it cannot be an accident. And secondly, if it is arranged, then too it is not an accident as in normal course parents ask the boy and the girl if they like each other and are ready to accept one another as as wife / husband.

Day 1295

Pic of the Week

CHARMING GESTURE: Just 10 years to go for a GOLDEN JUBILEE

Jagmohan Papneja:
Making others happy generally makes me feel better and happier.
Bhaswati Bose:
We shall be waiting eagerly for the BIG TREAT.
Harish Wadhwa:
Papneja-ji and others feel happy when they get the goodies... LOL. I, for one, did not get them!

Politically Surcharged

Jagmohan Papneja celebrates with sweets

It was a day of celebration for some. It was a day of sorrow for others. However hard anybody would try to look neutral, it was tough being indifferent, given the nature of the just-declared election results which has gone overwhelmingly in favour of the Narendra Modi-led NDA combine. You had to be either on the winning side or on the losing side.
In this politically surcharged atmosphere, when Jagmohan Papneja harped on his “India has won” catchphrase – however misplaced it might be – we understood that he was merely echoing the sentiments of the winning camp. But what he probably did not understand was that there were many in the Club who had not voted for the winning party and nursed grave misgivings about the new regime.

Mrs Shekhawat

This, despite protests from many quarters yesterday (see post) on attempts to politicize the Club.
So today, hackles went up the moment Papneja began his spiel after the exercises -- “India has won… today is a historic day… I want to celebrate with sweets…” It amounted to not just cocking a snook, but adding insult to injury for those who do not toe the Modi line – something that was totally unnecessary and avoidable.
Bose Babu had to put his foot down and remind Papneja not to bring party politics into the Club. But when Papneja declared that there was another reason for celebrating – today also being his marriage anniversary – it was enough to diffuse all tension and everyone happily joined in the celebration, wishing Papneja many more years of togetherness.
On an unrelated note, Shekhawat has sent word that his wife is quite unwell and he will not be able to attend the Club regularly for some more time. Today he had taken her to the Colaba navy hospital after she started having bouts of vomiting. He was to take her for a CT scan because of her fainting fits and now it seems she is losing the strength of her legs. Our sympathies go to her and we can only hope and pray she recovers soon.
Jagmohan Papneja:
I am truly grateful to all for having shared my happiness on the occasion of my 40th marriage anniversary (May 17, 2014).
Harish Wadhwa:
* All our good wishes are with Mrs Shekhawat for a quick recovery. May God give her the strength and courage to overcome the health issues and return stronger.
* Many happy returns of the day, Papneja-ji on your marriage anniversary.
Srichand Arora:
Mrs Shekhawat, we all from Big Laaf wish you an early and complete recovery. Our dear Shekhawat loves you so much that he will not leave a single chance to bring you back to your normal life. Of-course, you also know that. God bless you!

Emotive Issue

Humour is the balm to soothe charged emotions

Under the flowering tree: A beautiful garden goes to seed

Had not Arun Patil’s car run a flat tyre, we could have had a different morning today. Chances were that instead of listening to recorded music on his box speaker, we would have got live news of the election results on radio while exercising. But Arun came in late and had left his box speaker home.
Interest on the outcome of the world’s biggest democratic exercise is natural. But to inflict one’s political opinion and affiliation on others is in bad taste. This has never happened in the Club earlier. An unwritten rule exists that we must respect the sentiments of every member and party politics can find no place in this.
Today that rule was broken. Some members with obvious right wing leanings exulted brazenly on the impending victory of the saffron combine, only to send a buzz around. When Jagmohan Papneja raised the BJP slogan, ‘Good days are coming’, Arun Patil retorted with “Ya, ya, they’ll even make rotis in your homes."
Now this was stepping into dangerous territory. A call went out not to bring politics into the Club and Nahid Khan tried to diffuse the situation by reminding that regardless of whichever party comes to power, our condition will remain the same. But Papneja persisted by bringing up statistics on how the economy will improve and Arun harped on danga-phasad breaking out and Harbans Kaur joined issue by declaring, “the Congress always starts riots” till an otherwise composed Khatoon Baig snapped: “Please, stop it! We don’t want to hear politics here.”
Before the Club could be split on party lines, Srichand Arora made light of the issue by announcing, “From today, India’s national dress shall be ghagra-choli. The national food shall be phapda-jalebi. National drink shall be goli-soda. National sport shall be kite flying…” An emotive issue was thus put to rest.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Modi-led NDA will form the next government. The BSE Sensex today surpassed the 25,000 mark and rupee is on a eleven-month high on trend giving a clear majority for Modi-led BJP in Lok Sabha polls.

Condolence Visit

Ramila and others commiserate with Shekhawat

Dark morning. Overcast sky. But no relief from the overpowering heat and humidity. A giant movie billboard overlooking the Garden on the main road mocked at us. ‘Hawaa Hawaii!’ it said. There was no hawaa, nor hawaii today.
In all the sweaty stickiness, Ramila Mistry strode in, a wide-brim, beige sun hat perched on her head. Owing to her arthritic knee, she was not attending the exercises for some time and had missed the news about Shekhawat’s younger brother passing away. She said she learnt about it only last evening. So she had come to express her condolence and pay her respects to the departed soul.
But Shekhawat being Shekhawat was so thrilled upon seeing her that the moment she joined the exercise circle he jumped and greeted her with a flourish: “Kem chho, Kokila-ben?”
“Ramila-ben,” she corrected him, stern and aloof.

Get well soon, Razia Khan!

But Shekhawat was not one to be put off easily. After some time, he cut across the circle and again, with a flourish took his cap off and presented it to Ramila. “Let us exchange caps,” he said, almost plucking the beige sun hat from her head.
By then, Ramila was already into the flow of things and sportingly gave him her hat and took his cap. But before Shekhawat could put on the hat, all the ladies screamed, “There’s lice in it, watch out… lice!”
That was enough. The brave navy man, who had once defended the nation’s maritime borders, studied the hat for a moment and exclaimed, “Arre baap re!” Ramila was only too happy to get her sun hat back and returned Shekhawat’s cap. Much later, after the exercises had concluded, could she get the chance to express her condolences and explain the purpose of her visit.
Meanwhile, word has just come in about Razia Khan being in a very bad shape. She was last in the Garden on May 7 (see post) when she distributed rosogollas from Calcutta. Since then, she has been down with fever and flu. Her throat infection is now so serious that she cannot even speak a sentence without breaking into a bout of racking cough.
She promises to return to the Garden when she is better – hopefully, next week.
Srichand Arora:
Get well soon, Razia-ji. You are really being missed in the Big Laaf group.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Get well soon Razia-ji. The shaayar is missing among us.
* Ramila-ji, long time no see. Hope you are keeping fine. Maybe you should also see the doctor who is treating Kiran Arora-ji. Don't live in pain.
* By the way, acche din aane wale hain, sab log wapis garden mein aane wale hain.

Medical Concerns

Harbans Kaur serves special cookies from Ludhiana

Ever tasted coconut crackers encrusted with sesame seeds? None of us even knew such a thing existed till Harbans Kaur brought a boxful of them this morning to mark her return from Ludhiana. She has a penchant for treating us to the oddest and the most unusual of goodies from her home town in Punjab. And this time, predictably, the box was emptied of all cookies in a flash!

Srichand Arora at chai session

Harbans Kaur’s return (after nearly 45 days) infused fresh life in the Garden, particularly during the exercises when she is at her wittiest. Even otherwise, her subtle humour and wisecracks can have anyone in splits. Sadly, her knee ache hasn’t left her yet. She had returned from Ludhiana two days back, but the persistent pain had held her from attending the exercises. We can only hope and pray for her early relief and thank her for those divine cookies.
Hari Singh Shekhawat also returned to the Garden this morning. He was away at his village near Jaipur for a week to attend the prayer meeting of his departed younger brother. Thankfully, he appeared to have got over his bereavement.

Shekhawat jots down details of CT Scan Centre

But his wife is not too well. Weakness, coupled by the stress of traveling to Rajasthan in this extreme heat, has worsened her dizziness problem. She has to get a CT scan done right away.
Srichand Arora though, had some good news to share. He has not been coming for the exercises, but showed up for the tea session with the Badmaash Company today. For long Kiran Arora, his wife, had been suffering from unbearable leg pain which was ‘diagnosed’ variously as an orthopaedic issue, hairline fracture, thyroid complication, etc. At one point, knee replacement was also contemplated. A chance consultation with Dr Jyotsna Oak of Kokilaben Hospital, followed by routine blood tests, has worked wonders. Kiran’s leg pain has now subsided, her BP is down to near normal and as the reports collected by her doting hubby this morning indicate, she is well on the road to recovery. Maybe, it is still early to celebrate. But we are surely with the Aroras in their moment of joy and wish the lady absolute recovery at the earliest.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Look at the delight on Mrs Harbans Kaur as she distributes the cookies. That is the kind of satisfaction people get by sharing happiness and goodness.
* Get well soon, Kiran Arora-ji. It pains us to hear of the suffering of any of our near and dear ones.

Sardar Jokes

Teja Singh Bhambra

Mumtaz Jahan

Now that the Lok Sabha polls are over, Mumtaz Jahan made an appearance today. She is an ardent supporter of Sharad Pawar and his Nationalist Congress Party (NCP). Sardar Teja Singh Bhambra was also back, after a short holiday at Alibaug. Yesterday, Arun Patil returned after a two-month hiatus. Tomorrow, Hari Singh Shekhawat is likely to return from his village in Rajasthan…
But more than these homing pigeons, what seemed to have caught the imagination of the Club today was a brand of humour that passes for ‘sardar jokes’. Never before had so many jokes of this variety been narrated, starting with Jagmohan Papneja’s account of a sardar who stumbled upon his wife sitting on her boss’s lap in office. “Had I known there were not enough chairs in your office, I would never have allowed you to work here,” he quipped.
Another sardar, according to Dilip Babani, was spotted distributing sweets to ‘celebrate’ his scooter getting stolen. “Thank God, I was not on that scooter,” he explained. “Else, I too would have been stolen!”

Nahid Khan narrates her ghost story!

Santosh Tyagi came up with a variant of the same joke, again involving a sardar. Here, the sardar was seen distributing sweets after losing an expensive mobile phone. “Why should I worry, when the mobile’s charger is still with me?” was the simpleton’s explanation.
The best, as they say, was reserved for the last and it came from Nahid Khan. She did not bring up a sardar (or any other community) because it was about a conversation between two ghosts. They had been friends and were naturally shocked to find one another in a disembodied state in the other world.
“What happened?” one ghost asked the other.
“What to say… I had all along suspected my wife of having an affair behind my back. When I found she was actually innocent, I couldn’t believe it. I died of shock and guilt. But how did you get here?”
“Arrey, if only you had opened the fridge – neither would you have died of guilt nor would I have frozen to death!” Convoluted though, it was zany enough to raise a big laaf.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Sometimes a joke is not intended to make you laugh. It may be intended to make you think.
Harish Wadhwa:
Nice jokes on sardars. You may hear many such jokes which they will themselves share; but they are men with a 56-inch chest and an elephant's heart. Look at our dear Teja Singh-ji. He is the most handsome sardar I have met in recent times. Look at the glow on his face, that signature blue turban, the killer smile (ambushed by a mature grin) and the humility with which he conducts himself. There is so much to learn from him. God bless this Sardar of Faridabad with a long and very happy life.

Back from Shoot

Arun Patil discusses Lucknow with Nahid Khan

Arun Patil turned up today. After two months and more than 8,000 km of road travel to and fro Lucknow (and beyond), he was back in the Garden this morning looking perfectly prim and fresh. He was supposed to return to Mumbai on Saturday evening, but an unscheduled delay en-route resulted in him touching base at 4:00 p.m. yesterday.
Arun was away for the shoot of Muzaffar Ali’s Raqs (The Dance). A period film set in pre-Independent India, it has two freshers, Imran Abbas Naqvi and Pernia Qureshi sharing the lead with Amitabh Bachchan and Zarina Wahab lending support. As a special effects wiz, Arun was entrusted with recreating the ambience of a bygone era with muted lighting and sound devices, besides of course, suitable props for the film's many action sequences.

Khatoon Baig

Clearly, from the stories he had to narrate, this has been a rewarding, if somewhat a hectic schedule. Much of the shoot was done at night time and during the daylight hours, the unit members rested. They got into a spot of trouble with some environmental/ political activists while filming in the Kishanpur Sanctuary of Dudhwa Tiger Reserve in Lakhimpur Kheri, but that, according to Arun was a minor hiccup which was “taken care of”. It seems some portions of the film still remain to be canned and Arun might have to go join the unit again some time soon.
Meanwhile, Khatoon Baig also showed up for the exercises this morning after a bout of illness – along with Ved Prakash Grover and Nahid Khan. Peculiarly, all three reported identical symptoms of gastro-enteritis -- accompanied by high fever and body ache. An informal advisory has gone out, thanks to some seniors (who should know) to abstain from milk-based (khoya) sweets – at least till such time the summer heat persists.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Dance films have not been a popular genre per se. But how can one forget Muzaffar Ali's Umarao Jaan? It was a nice movie and so were all the songs. Will his upcoming film Raqs be able to revive the magic of Dil Cheez Kya Hai Aap Meri Jaan Leejiye? This remains to be seen.
Harish Wadhwa:
Papneja sa'ab, Umrao Jaan ka toh pataa nahin, Rekha-ji ko hum bhule nahin... I don't mind taking a short trip to the bygone era if I can get to see people like Rekha-ji. Arun has cut down and is looking more handsome in his chiseled physique. Only if he had also developed dole-shole, he could have given a run to Sallu Miyan. Happy home coming, Arun Miyaan.