Eating Etiquette

Shekhawat's briefing on basic etiquette  

Laxmi Naidu (right) celebrates with nanchatai and chips

Shekhawat made two important announcements today. One, he wants to celebrate his 55th Wedding Anniversary in a big way on March 14 (Saturday) and expects all to be present. “Or else, I shall go to the house of every individual who does not turn up,” he threatened. “You will have to serve me three pegs of whiskey and unlimited quantities of fried fish… Only then will I leave your house.”
The second announcement was more significant. “I have come to know of some ladies making nasty comments whenever eatables are distributed here,” he said. “This is disgraceful. I will not name names, but I appeal to all of you to desist from such uncouth behavior. Just how are you concerned from where the food is brought or what the kitchen was like? Eat what you get or walk away, I don’t care. But I do not want to hear such nonsense again.”
Clearly, a problem of plenty has turned some of our members to be not just choosy but over-demanding – to the extent they expect to be treated from certain eateries of their choice and with stuff carrying a certain price tag.

Ruksana Khan

Obviously, not everybody can afford that. And then they are subjected to derisive taunts and seeing their food wasted or fed to street dogs – if not dumped in a dustbin near the gate. One lady thinks nothing of bragging that she packs her share of food for her building watchman!
While this created a major buzz, Laxmi Naidu went about distributing nankhatai and plantain chips to mark her induction as a Club member. She took the help of Mallika Kagzi who, predictably enough, was accosted by some nitpickers. They found fault in the size of the nankhatai, that it was over-baked, under-baked and so on. Exasperated, Mallika crumpled the packet and hid it behind her in a gesture that meant, “Go to hell.” From behind Mohar Singh flicked the packet, leaving Mallika to yell, “Oye Budhdhe, come back!” It was a sight to behold.
In all this, news trickled in of Ruksana Khan being hospitalized. She sustained a bad fall in her bathroom yesterday, cracking her hip. According to her neighbor Razia Khan, a hipbone surgery is scheduled today. Let us wish her well.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Treating members with eats is becoming a tricky issue. Restrictions need be placed so that everyone is at ease. It would be better that fruits are served instead of snacks. In any case we should not pass derogatory remarks. We all assemble to enjoy and gain positive energy. We wish Rukhsana-ji speedy recovery and good health.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Let us agree here today to adopt a simple, unwritten rule that we will not criticize anybody on food items. These are brought with good intention and we must appreciate the spirit behind the gesture. Those who find faults in others are blind to their own.