Yearly Break

It’s that time of the year to shut shop and unwind. 
For the next 12 days we will not be around and the blog shall stay suspended for this period. 
But do stay on. 
Hope to catch you when we return on July 8, 2015.

--Blog Monster

Kiran Prakash:
Enjoy your yearly break. Forget blog... But no doubt, we will miss the blog.
Siba Prasad Maitra:
Wish Blog Monster a happy and enjoyable break. Bon Voyage.
Harish Wadhwa:
Nice pic of Blog Monster (and Monstress) enjoying the sea. Have a great time buddy. The well-toned, hourglass figures are showing. Maintain it.
Dilip Babani:
Have a nice time!

Simply Priceless!

Shekhawat receives gift from Monthi Serrao

Monthi Serrao wore her Club cap, but forgot it was Wednesday. Instead of wearing green, she turned up in a beautiful white embroidered top. Only when she was greeted “Happy Saturday!” did Monthi realize her folly. She had left home wearing white, believing it was Saturday today.
Monthi was to however, more than make up for the lapse. For after the exercises, she fished out a large cardboard box (still unopened) containing puja samagri –

Ved Prakash Grover distributes Shirdi prasad

an exquisitely carved square platform with lovely little pots and bowls, including a kalash with intricate meenakari work, all in polished Makrana marble. It was simply priceless!
“This is for your wife,” she said, gifting the artifact to Shekhawat. “I have no use for this.

Kiran and Srichand Arora in Manali

I got it as a return gift from a family friend and I immediately thought of your wife. It was her birthday last Sunday and we could not even wish her. Please accept this as my birthday gift to her. I am sure she will value this.”
Shekhawat was overwhelmed. For the first time in the morning, he was at a loss of words. Till then, he had been behaving like a loose cannon, hitting off at all directions – pulling up Fehmida Khan for not exercising and walking out on him, picking on Siba Prasad Maitra for being ‘absent for a week’ (whereas it was only for a day, yesterday), advising Nahid Khan to reduce her tummy (“It is going forward too much”) and so on. Monthi’s gift grounded him for the rest of the morning and he shut his mouth thereafter.
Meanwhile, here’s a surprise from Srichand Arora. Last week, he had been away on vacation at Manali and now he has sent this photograph (alongside) against the snow-capped reaches of the popular hill station. Incidentally, the trip was to celebrate the birthday of his wife Kiran. We thank the Aroras for sharing this beautiful picture with us.
Renu Babani:
What a beautiful thought, Monthi. Priceless. Definitely left Mr Shekhawat speechless, which is ever so rare. So now everyone knows how to keep him silent, even if for a while. God bless him because no matter what, he is good at heart.
Bihari Milwani:
Now we know why the lion roars fiercely. He is not successful in hunting for gifts every day.

Pressing Compulsions

Some of the 'bravehearts' this morning

It took more than dumb courage to stir out-of-doors today morning. Torrential rain accompanied by strong winds lashed the city non-stop, pulling down trees and turning streets into fast flowing rivers of garbage and muck. Even the newspaper boys and milkmen were not to be seen. And yet, there were eight members who turned up for the exercises this morning.
What brought them to the Garden in this foul weather?
There are at least five distinct theories to explain this kind of madness. The first and most obvious one is force of habit. As Santosh Tyagi, who turned up half an hour late today, put it: “I couldn’t stay back. I got up as usual and since 5:30 a.m. had been sitting quietly by the window, all dressed up, waiting for the rain to stop. The moment it subsided a bit, I ran out of the house.”
The second theory, as expressed by Sitaram Hivarkar is the fear of being upbraided. “Had I not come today, you people would have pulled me up. Otherwise, am I mad to come here in such bad weather?

Monthi Serrao presents receipt of Fixed Deposit in bank

Shekhawat and Arora have this horrible habit of reprimanding people who are absent. They do not realize that I have to walk down a long way and it isn’t easy for me in the rains.”
Shekhawat has a peculiar explanation for turning up every day. “Tell me, what should I do sitting idle early morning at home?” he muses. “As it is, at my age, I don’t get sleep and am awake all night…” Arora voices the predicament of many, rather humorously: "Even if one does not want to leave home early morning, the family would throw me out. After that where else does one go, but to the Garden?”
Mohar Singh propounds yet another theory. “I was told you get 11 rupees every day for going to exercise in the Garden,” he says, recalling his childhood when he used to be given pocket money every day to attend school. No school, no money. Substitute that Rs11 for the treats and tea in the Garden and the picture becomes clear.
In all this, nobody talks of the benefits of exercising every day.
Bihari Milwani:
Let it rain or storm, be hot or cold, be Ramzaan or Eid... let there be parties or a dry day, we will continue to laugh and that is why we call ourselves as BIG LAAF.

Manali in Mumbai

Srichand Arora (sitting) narrates his Manali odyssey

Srichand Arora today returned from a week-long vacation, bringing with him the weather of Manali, sans the snow. Miraculously it had stopped raining for the first time since Thursday. Apart from the drop in temperature, a gentle breeze blew across the Garden, adding to the morning chill. After all the heat and humidity of summer, followed by the torrential downpour and deluge of last week, this was paradise on earth today.
Arora also brought back happy stories of his trip that extended right up to Rohtang Pass.

Mohankanwar Shekhawat

He has still not got over the inexpensive food and duty-free booze available across Himachal Pradesh, but cribbed about the 14-hour road journey from Chandigarh to Mohali. On the whole though, it was an ‘enjoyable vacation’ – something he had always wanted to gift his wife, Kiran on her birthday (June 18).
Shekhawat’s wife, Mohankanwar’s birthday was yesterday -- a Sunday. And so, there was no celebration, which was to put Shekhawat in an awkward spot.

Monthi Serrao's treat of jaggery sweets

Everyone expected a treat today and with Mohankanwar not even present, Shekhawat had a harrowing time trying to explain his way out. He said he had specially bought 50 packets of biscuits from the Defence Canteen – just that his wife was not keeping well today.

Karuna Waghmare

“We shall celebrate later, once members return from their Ramzaan fasting,” he assured.
Monthi Serrao was to then save the situation with a box of jaggery sweets her daughter had brought from a visit to Ahmedabad. Coincidentally, today was Monthi's wedding anniversary and she was soon to drift into nostalgia, recounting the untimely passing of her husband from a paralytic stroke. She spoke of having to take charge of his factory and bringing up three children till the elder son was old enough to shoulder some of her responsibilities.
Meanwhile, an otherwise quiet and observant Karuna Waghmare appeared quite agitated, questioning the very name of the club, Big Laaf. “This is wrong,” she said. “My grandson says laaf is spelt wrong.” Siba Prasad Maitra tried to assuage her feelings by extending his arms expansively and explaining that “laaf means laabh” (as in love), but she was not convinced. Only when she was told that whoever had coined the word is not very educated and must be forgiven did her face brighten a bit and she let out a contented laaf.

DAY 1685

Pic(s) of the Week

THREE FACES, ONE MAN... all clicked within days

Monsoon Mirth

The Garden presents a picture of placid calm

After more than 24 hours of ‘monsoon mayhem’ across Mumbai, the Garden today presented a picture of supreme serenity. But it was more like the lull before a storm. The met guys have predicted “heavy to very heavy rainfall” today and schools and colleges have been directed to stay shut.

Nahid Khan celebrates birthday with chocolates

Already, it was raining in spurts since early morning.
But none of this was to dampen our spirits. The ball was set rolling with Shekhawat rushing in from a sudden downpour and momentarily stopping by in the China Hut to wish the ladies, only to receive a mouthful from Sunita Jajodia for “drenching” her with his dripping umbrella. He scurried to where the men were seated and from a distance, started taking potshots at Sunita.
Before long, she, along with Santosh Tyagi and Nahid Khan moved up close and surrounding Shekhawat, began to rag him.

'Happy Birthday, Nahid Khan'  

Shekhawat had made the cardinal mistake of commenting on the bunch of house keys Sunita habitually tucked into her waist, even during the rains. “How does it stay there?” he wondered aloud. “Why does it not fall down?”

Checking Nahid's birthday calendar

Sunita blurted something about her ‘nada’ (drawstring) and realizing her mistake, tried to deflect the subject by reminding Shekhawat that he too clipped his house keys on to his nada. “How did you know that?” a surprised-looking Nahid asked Sunita, thus setting the tone for today’s morning madness.
It was Nahid’s birthday and she was at her mischievous most, much to Shekhawat’s intense delight. He hopped and clapped like a mechanical toy and with Santosh also chipping in with equally colorful one-liners, his day was made. Adding to the mirth was Jagmohan Papneja's straight-faced advice of ‘applying the right key for the right lock’. In between, Siba Prasad Maitra turned up only to have Shekhawat confronting him point-blank on his nada. Taken aback, he turned towards the ladies and mumbled something about an elastic waist band... Who says rains are a damper?

Show Must Go On

The Garden, wet and deserted

It rained all night and it was still raining in the morning. There was not even a moment's let up in the downpour for the time we were at the Garden. And yet, the exercises were held on schedule, from start to finish. The show must go on, after all.
Of course, attendance was down to a bare minimum – just about 10 today. Apart from the rain, Ramzan had robbed us of a good chunk of regulars. Worse, we were without our twin food sources – Banoo Apa and Mallika Kagzi. They would be fasting for a month and as Bihari Milwani commented yesterday (see post), have subjected us to its rigors by default.
Siba Prasad Maitra’s first utterance on arriving at the China Hut was “khichdi”.

Nahid  Khan imposes 'penalty'

Taking everyone by surprise, he had to elaborate, “This is the perfect weather for having khichdi!” Before the import of his statement could sink in, Shekhawat, in right earnest, retorted that it is the perfect weather to get sloshed. “Have three-three pegs of daru and exercise,” he prescribed. “Then watch the fun!”
Nahid Khan proposed a ‘middle path’ between khichdi and daru. But it had to be done indirectly. She pulled up Shekhawat when he suddenly strayed away from the exercises to talk to a lady passing by. “Every time you break away from exercising, you will have to pay a penalty,” she shouted angrily. “You will have to treat everyone to tea today.”
“But I was talking to a woman only,” Shekhawat pleaded. “Do you think I would abandon the exercises if Mohar Singh were to be passing by?”
“That is exactly my point!” Nahid was at her headmistress best. “Go, order tea!”
Shekhawat fumbled for some time, looked around mischievously and then just as he was fishing out his mobile, Nahid stopped him. “Let this be in your account. Don’t order now because I am on roza.”
Nahid is the only Muslim to religiously fast during Ramzan and yet, not miss a single day’s exercise at the Garden. Come what may, the show must go on for her also.
Bihari Milwani:
Today's attendance proves beyond doubt that our primary object of meeting is laughing and exercising. Having party is only by-product.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Hope, love and laughter, warmth and wishes, joy and a bouquet of Eid wishes... Wishing Ramadan Mubarak to all.

Feast Before Fast

MALLIKA'S PARTING TREAT: Tea after breakfast 

Today also Mallika Kagzi kept her commitment of daily treats. But this was to be her last. Ramzan begins tomorrow and like all devout Muslims, she’d stop coming to the Garden for a month. So, in a way, today’s was her parting treat and as expected, it was special.
Mallika brought not only tea, but also mutton keema and vegetable curry, to be had with loaves of pao. Since many were absent today (because of the rains), there was more to go by than could be consumed. Almost everybody stuffed themselves with two or more helpings and still there was food left over enough to feed a hungry elephant. It was a veritable feast for all this morning.
But it had to be earned.

Keema-pao and potato curry

Mallika devised a little game by coming unusually early to the Garden and as one by one people showed up, she declared that she had forgotten to bring her bag. (The all-important ‘bag’ is the first thing we shamelessly ask her about in order to figure out if there are any goodies in store after the exercises.)

Kiran Arora

Later, she directed them to go search for the bag. “Dhoondo, Dhoondo,” she said.
So one group scoured the China Hut, peering behind the stack of chairs and broken furniture and drew a blank. Another group went up to the Gate, checked at the now defunct drinking water station, excavated a bundle of old clothes at the garbage bins and came back disappointed. A third was about to venture out to the cobbler and milkman, when Mohar Singh pointed at a huge green package – the type construction workers keep debris in – sitting close to Mallika. Out came the steel containers and flask of tea!
Today’s treat was to also make up for Kiran Arora’s birthday celebration. She is holidaying with her husband, Srichand in Manali, gamboling in knee deep snow. In her absence, we raised the traditional ‘fourth laugh’, wishing her many happy returns of the day. Later in the morning, the couple were to inform on phone that they are having a whale of a time in absolutely heavenly conditions and had even made it to Rohtang Pass yesterday. The weather is also celebrating with the ‘birthday lady’. Once again, we wish her all happiness, robust health and good fortune in times to come.
Bihari Milwani:
From tomorrow members coming to the Club will be on fast as there will be no Mallika or Banoo Apa.

Witty Women

Jagmohan is on Razia's left, in direct line of fire 

Time was when we were like any other Club. Men cracked jokes and women laughed. Today, the situation is reversed. In what is being seen as our 'ladeej log' turning increasingly self- assertive, they are the ones to be coming up with the smartest one-liners while the 'gents log' have become mute witnesses.
For example, try saying “Angutha Andar…” during the wrist-rolling exercise and Mallika Kagzi would instantly pipe in with “Zabaan Bandh”. The original saying is “Angutha Andar, Muththiya Bandh” or “Thumbs Inside, Fists Closed”. But Mallika, in her own way, has turned this around to “Hold your tongue” in order to shut everyone up while exercising.
The exercises are the time when much of the talking and wisecracks fly thick and fast, no matter how hard anyone might try to stop the women. Nahid Khan and Razia Khan have been champs at this. Nobody dare get in their way of exchanging wisecracks and repartees, as Jagmohan Papneja was to learn today. He wanted to leave early and tried to rush Razia as she conducted the exercises.

Tea, yet again, from Mallika Kagzi today

On the other hand, there was Khatoon Baig who wanted Razia to slow down. Caught between the two, Razia decided to engage Jagmohan in a hilarious slanging match, meeting every volley with a counter-volley. Finally, she played her ace – an Urdu sher (couplet) which she said would make Jagmohan 'thanda'. Indeed it did. No sher was uttered, but Jagmohan already developed cold feet. He became incredibly quiet and patient after that!
Now sample another one. Nahid’s birthday falls this Saturday and the calendar printed for her has got misplaced. Many suspect that someone has deliberately whacked it from the China Hut where it was seen last. Nahid is terribly upset and every morning checks with the watchman, the juice-wallah, milkman… even the cobbler outside the Gate. Assuring her that a new calendar would be made, isn’t helping. “But what would anybody be doing with MY calendar?” she wants to know.
“Maybe you have a fan somewhere,” Razia consoled her. “He must be doing puja to your calendar every day.”
Suddenly Santosh Tyagi, sitting nearby, woke up: “What kind of fan? Ceiling fan? Or table fan!”
The best part about these women is that they do not realise when they are being funny. They are such natural wits.

Health Concerns

Mohammad Gulzar Salmani

Mohammad Gulzar Salmani is not a regular in the Club. He has to leave his little daughter, Gulta Fida to school every morning. Her timing clashes with that of our exercises. Only during weekends (and holidays) is Gulzar able to show up at the Garden. And invariably he is left completely confused.
“What exercises are you people doing?” he asks incredulously. “Every time I come here, I see you guys eating. Someone or the other would be giving a treat. I open the blog and there again, I see pictures of people eating and eating… and if nothing else, having tea. At this rate, you are only putting on weight. What is the point of exercising? Whatever calories you might burn, you more than make up after your exercises!”
Gulzar is not alone in carrying this impression. Most people visiting the Garden seriously believe that we meet only to eat and the exercises are merely an excuse. Our own members are also beginning to resist this ‘over-indulgence’ citing health concerns: “It is not as though we are eating healthy,” is the common refrain.

Chai pe charcha: Mallika Kagzi treats us to tea today also

“We are gorging on fried stuff, sweets, tea… everything that is unhealthy. Why not have fruits, green salads, protein shake, even lassi or chhaas instead of all this garbage?”
However, out of politeness and not wanting to hurt the feelings of those hosting a party, the comments are not voiced aloud. Still, some like Razia Khan are vocal enough to stipulate that luddoos and chocolates are not welcome because many of us are already down with diabetes. Others would pick and choose what suits them and discreetly slink away.
The irony though, is that no one wants to miss a party. And bigger the party, higher is the attendance. (How word gets around is still a mystery.) The funniest part is the guilt pangs members are beginning to betray. Earlier, they used to take away the food, neatly packed, to be shared with family members at home. Nowadays, most of them are seen consuming everything in the Garden itself. Obviously, the family has had enough of all this and is discouraging them also from any further indulgence!
Kiran Prakash:
There should be no guilt feeling. On this page itself, on the top left, it is clearly mentioned: "We are a government-recognised group of fun-loving, health enthusiasts who have been hanging out daily at Mumbai's Lokhandwala Garden No 4 from 7.00am to 8.00am since March 14, 2003 to eat, drink and make merry... AND WE EXERCISE TOO!" Therefore exercise is the secondary objective of our Club. The primary objective is to EAT, DRINK AND MAKE MERRY and that's what we are doing. Cheers!
Bihari Milwani:
Earlier the saying was 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away'. Times have since changed and the new slogan is 'A samosa a day keeps hunger away'. Now we can work throughout the day without worrying about hunger!
Bhaswati Bose:
Guys, remember the primary purpose of Big Laaf is to be happy and spread happiness. This is not possible unless we "eat, drink and make merry"!
Siba Prasad Maitra:
I agree with Mr Kiran Prakash. There is no compulsion for members to bring food. This is an expression of happiness and joy. We may have snacks and tea often, but only after completing our exercises. These eatables come mostly on some occasion -- birthday, anniversary, some good news of our members, etc. Let's continue to enjoy. Kuchh toh log kahenge, logo ki kaam hi hai kahena...

Party Time

Banoo Apa lays out the goodies this morning

Mallika Kagzi serves hot-hot tea

When Banoo Apa called Shekhawat this morning, we were already 15 minutes into the exercises. She wanted to know how many people had turned up as she was arranging for breakfast and tea for everyone. Shekhawat truthfully reported that “only seven members have turned up so far” and because of the rains, in all likelihood, the number would not exceed a dozen by the end of the exercises. “At the very maximum, you may make arrangements for 15 people,” he said.
More than 30 turned up. Apart from three of Shekhawat’s saalis, we had Sitaram Hivarkar, Teja Singh Bhambra, Mohar Singh, Naseem Khan, Nahid Siddiqui, Rakhi Bansi and several others least expected to stir out of their homes during the rains. Today they had all come, braving the intermittent showers and risking life and limb, wading through filthy puddles, potholes and overflowing gutters… to be in the Garden before the exercises ended.
Banoo Apa came riding in an autorickshaw. Stopping outside the China Hut, she lugged out large containers of steaming hot upma, sizzling pakoras and bhajiya, ketchup, flasks of tea, bottles of cold drinks, paper cups, plates, spoons, napkins… the whole works. Given our circumstances, this was nothing short of a royal feast. And to top it all, we had Mallika Kagzi with another flask full of tea. “I had said I’d be bringing tea every morning through the monsoon,” she quipped.
This was completely unscheduled and unplanned. And to imagine these ladies, especially Banoo Apa, waking up in darkness, sacrificing sleep and preparing the goodies for us… This is not easy. Beyond gratitude, we can never repay these noble souls for giving us so much of love and kindness. We don’t deserve it.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Our lady members are keen to ensure that all members maintain not only good humour but good health also. Laughter followed by exercises keeps one fit and the supply of goodies meets appetite. Well done. Three cheers to the ladies.
Kiran Prakash:
Thank you, Banoo. Any amount of admiration will not be enough for your kind gesture. Such unscheduled and unplanned party is certainly going to take attendance to a new high, but of course, after 7:30 a.m.
Bihari Milwani:
Celebrations are in full swing because the president is missing.
Bhaswati Bose:
Well, the mice will play when the CAT is away!

Day 1678

Pic of the Week

Is this how you do Aeroplane Exercise?

'Where is she flying? Which destinations? So far, we knew of only one such incident in the country.' --Kiran Prakash

'Large scale preparation for International Yoga Day (June 21) is under way. So are a few of our members too.' --Jagmohan Papneja

'This is Silverline Travels & Tours taking off!' --Bhaswati Bose

'Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belt. Make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full upright position. All mobile phones, pagers, radios and remote controlled toys should be turned off for the full duration of the flight. We remind you that this is a non-smoking flight. Tampering with, disabling, or destroying the smoke detectors located in the lavatories is prohibited by law. You will find all other safety information in the card located in the seat pocket in front of you. We wish you all an enjoyable flight!' --Monthi Serrao

Oh, great! Ready to take off?!? --Kiran Prakash

Monsoon Break

Srichand Arora: Manali bound

Monsoon has just about set in and already people are planning a break. Srichand Arora is the first to be heading out to celebrate the rains in Manali. He leaves with family the day-after and would be back the following Monday.
Then there is Jagmohan Papneja who is herding a group (mostly from the ‘other’ Garden) on June 21 to Lonavala. Before that, from June 19 onward, we will witness a major exodus on account of Ramzaan. And then there’s Siba Prasad Maitra, eager to set out on yet another outing – even if it were to be Lonavala again. Arora has advised him to hold his horses for some time till everyone returns and regroups.
Meanwhile, Shekhawat felt he owed the Club an explanation for his absence yesterday when the rains ravaged the Garden.

Shekhawat pitches for a Mumbra faith healer

He said he had an appointment to keep with a famous faith healer in Mumbra who is capable of treating all ailments A to Z – from paralysis and cancer to heart issues, diabetes, polio, rheumatism… The dispensary is run under the aegis of Ramchandra Mahadev Chalke Ayurvedic Upchar Kendra.
“I had gone there for my wife’s joint pains,” he narrated. “Although we had prior appointment, we had to wait our turn in a long queue.

Mallika and Banoo Apa organise tea

Even more surprising was the healer, who looked so disheveled and unkempt that it was hard to have any faith in him. But from what I gathered from the people waiting there and those who had been cured by him, this man is capable of miracles. What other doctors are incapable of curing, he does with ayurveda – provided you have faith.”
Being a week-end and the pitter-patter of rains continuing relentlessly outside, this was a good talking point in the China Hut post-exercise. The pretentious know-alls dismissed the ‘miracles’ as hocus-pocus while the wise cautiously reserved their opinion. Adding heat to the debate was hot, home-brewed tea from Mallika Kagzi. Tea cannot be any more welcome than on a breezy monsoon morning.
Before leaving, many members took the address and telephone number of the Mumbra faith healer from Shekhawat.

With a Bang!

Devastation and destruction, the first casualty of the monsoon

Monsoon has arrived in Mumbai and how. The sky was overladen with dark clouds since early morning, the sun refusing to come out. A strange stillness hung in the air. And then it began to drizzle. By 6:30 a.m., the droplets turned into a torrential downpour and it began to rain cows and bullocks.
Inside the Garden, silence of the lambs greeted the few who turned up to exercise. Water gushed everywhere and flooded the lawns. Apparently nobody had come prepared with umbrellas. We sat quietly, huddled in the China Hut, confused whether to thank the heavens for this sort of relief from sweltering heat and humidity. The skies rumbled and crackled with thunder as the rains showed no sign of abating.
Against this backdrop, Nahid Khan took to conducting today’s exercises inside the China Hut. It was a wise decision because within minutes, the wooden shed close-by (where we usually exercise during the monsoons) came crashing down, narrowly missing two old men and a middle-aged dog who had taken shelter there.

Concluding prayers by Ved Prakash Grover

Exercising in China Hut

Had we been exercising in there, chances were at least one of us would have been reduced to chutney.
Sadly, what we missed today was the madness and mayhem people like Shekhawat and Bijoy Gupta bring to the Garden every morning. Still, Srichand Arora and Mallika Kagzi tried to enliven the proceedings with occasional one-liners and wisecracks, but their voices could hardly be heard against the roaring downpour outside. Even the 'train' did not run today, because, as someone remarked, "the bogeys were there but the engine was missing". After all, we were only 12 today. But that’s okay, when the date is June 12.
Kiran Prakash:
I really like your imagination on the age of the dog and that "at least one of us would have been reduced to chutney".

Birthday Calendar

Sitaram Hivarkar (in red) is shown his birthday calendar  

Within a short time, the Big Laaf ‘birthday calendar’ has become a big hit. Introduced in January this year, the personalized desk calendar is presented to every member as a token gift from the Club on his/ her birthday. With candid pictures clicked in the Garden over the preceding 12 months, this one-of-a-kind calendar is meant to be a keepsake memento, bringing back fond memories and in effect, strengthen bonding with other members of the Club.
But who would have expected that this calendar would also serve as an incentive to taking the exercises seriously and being regular to the Club? Members who were not-to-be-seen for days on end are showing up now and striking smiley poses expecting to be photographed.

Sitaram gets a birthday bite of sweets

Some are quite upfront, demanding ‘photo-khincho’, ‘photo-khincho’ with rare urgency. Rakhee Bansi took this a step forward today, insisting on being clicked while she fanned herself with a fake Japanese hand fan.
A few get their friends to speak for them. For instance, the day Laxmi Hadimani made an appearance in the Garden, Nahid Khan suddenly got busy, trying to make sure that her friend was photographed appropriately. “How will Laxmi’s calendar be made if she’s not photographed?” Nahid asked innocently, as though her friend was on the verge of extinction.
However, it must be said that in the absence of adequate pictures, a calendar cannot be made – as has been with Mohankanwar Shekhawat and Kiran Arora.

A happy man, Sitaram sings his famous 'Zohrajabin' song

When Pushpa Gupta heard that at least 12 pictures are needed (for the 12 months of the year), her instant response was that she’d attend the exercises for 12 days prior to her birthday. She had to be advised not take so much trouble and instead come just one day with 12 dress changes and her purpose shall be served.
Shekhawat, for one, is so proud to own a calendar that he intends to take it to his village in September and show it around there. He also tries to ensure that all his ‘special friends’ in the Club get calendars and those who disobey him or are irregular should not. He accosted Nahid Siddiqui the other day and instead of the common courtesy of asking if all was well with her, directly threatened to deprive her of a calendar if she did not turn up to exercise. For a moment, the poor woman did not know what hit her. Shekhawat being Shekhawat, the calendar is his instrument to enforce full compliance and attendance during the exercises.
Kiran Prakash:
Happy Birthday Sitaram-ji. I wish you a long life and best of health.

Soap Opera

Prakash sets his conditions

Soap operas are usually about squabbling families, intrigue and mushy melodrama. But what we witness every morning in the Garden is pure, unadulterated entertainment – tax-free, unrehearsed and unscripted, replete with zany jokes, unrestrained leg-pulling, sharp punch lines, quick repartees and full-volume laughter, fit for Comedy Central.
Today’s episode (as usual) was triggered by Shekhawat needling his bête noire, Bijoy Gupta for being full of hot air, only to get it back for being rusty and a total good for nothing.

Bijoy Gupta is jubilant

Touching a raw nerve he also told Shekhawat that even the engine of his everyday train was outdated. “And why do you have to blow that gutter ka whistle?” Gupta questioned.
While Srichand Arora and others quickly distanced themselves fearing another flare-up (ref post of June 4), Kiran Prakash stuck his neck out by “advising” Shekhawat to go for a complete overhaul. “I don’t require your advice,” retorted Shekhawat. “Like you I don’t complain of pain in my legs, stomach, shoulders, chest… I do all the exercises to the end and don’t escape midway like you.”
“But you are never attentive during the exercises,” Prakash pointed out. “You talk all the time and your eyes are constantly on the gate, checking who’s coming in and who’s going out!”
As the argument got hotter and louder, passersby stopped to check if all was well. “One of these two will get badly beaten today,” Arora muttered under his breath.

Najma Sayyad's grandson, Ali celebrates
passing his Class 10 exams 

Najma Sayyad gives her grandson a bite
of the sweets on his success 

Before long, things reached a point where Shekhawat challenged Prakash to stick on through the entire exercises. Prakash counter-challenged Shekhawat on staying focused on the exercises. “You stand here next to me and don’t look at the Gate,” he directed Shekhawat. “The moment you look at the Gate, I will leave.”
A couple of times Prakash tried to run away and each time, Shekhwat had to chase and drag him back. Watching their crazy antics, nobody would say these gentlemen were in their 60s and 70s. Meanwhile Gupta, sensed an opportunity and swiftly scampered to the place Shekhawat had vacated (to keep Prakash on leash) and like a comic book villain punched the air in jubilation. It had always been his ambition to dislodge Shekhawat and today, Prakash enabled him to do so.
But not for long. Caught between Prakash and Gupta, Shekhawat looked ill at ease. He had to drop one, before things got out of hand. In the end pride prevailed over obduracy and Shekhawat let go Prakash. Gupta meekly retraced his steps and status quo was restored for the day.

Keeping Track

Sheela Mirani

Laxmi Naidu

Harish Wadhwa

We all know that Arun Patil does not come to the Garden because he is unable to walk with an amputated leg. We know that Harbans Kaur is undergoing post-operative treatment for her knee replacement surgery and shall be able to return from Ludhiana towards the end of this month. We also know that Lt Col Angad Singh and Tara Chand Seth are spending time with their folks in Mohali and Delhi respectively. And we also know that the better halves of the Big Three -- Srichand Arora, Yusuf Rassiwala and Hari Singh Shekhawat -- are unable to visit the Garden due to pressing domestic compulsions early morning.
This accounts for some of our senior members who are conspicuous by their absence these days. But there are others about whom nobody has the faintest clue. It is as though they have all fallen off the map.

Sharing a light moment at the Garden this morning

One is Sheela Mirani. Last heard, the lifts in her high rise were out of order and might have to be replaced. Since she is unable to take the stairs (owing to her physical condition) nobody insisted that she should turn up for the exercises. But that was more than a month back. After that, no news.
Another one is Laxmi Naidu. She was away for a fortnight to celebrate her birthday on May 5 at Lonavala and had even showed up briefly to distribute sweets. How, when and where she has disappeared after that, nobody knows. Rumours are she is at her hometown in Kerala. And then there is Harish Wadhwa. He is very much in Mumbai, but his job has taken precedence over the exercises in the Garden. Earlier on, he used to make time to show his face occasionally (and that was more than a year ago) but now, he is no more than a voice on the phone. Physically, he too has vanished into thin air.
Somehow, these people do not realize that they are being missed. Newer members would come and go, at best making up for the numbers every morning. But no one can fill in for the absence of a friend gone AWOL.

All Men’s Picnic

Shekhawat with his Famous Four

A small but increasingly persistent group is pressing for an “all-men’s picnic” from the Club. Lest Shekhawat take it to be some kind of mischief, the members maintain that even if there are not many to join them, go they must – without a single female among them. Even spouse and spice are excluded. However, on an experimental basis, they would do a "local picnic" for starters and then perhaps venture on a full-fledged “phoren trip” overseas.
The well laid-out plan stems from the experience of those on the last three trips from the Club – Kerala, Gangtok and Mahabaleshwar.

Monthi Serrao celebrates her son
Ryan's engagement ceremony

According to them, it simply did not matter to the ladies where they were at any point of time and even now, after the trips, if any one of the ladies were to be questioned on the sights or places visited, she would draw a blank.
Moreover, a lot of time tends to be lost on the women, each with her peculiar sense of direction and timing. They were the ones to be losing their way everywhere and every time there was a delay, they were the ones to be late in catching up with the rest.

Mumtaz Jahan celebrates shifting to her new penthouse
with breakfast boxes and fruit juice

Then there was their shopping compulsions and the perennial ‘pee-poop problem’ during travel. If one lady gets down from the bus to answer nature’s call, half a dozen others would follow her and precious time is lost. Strangely, the problems increase in direct proportion to the distance from the Garden. Here, like all men, the same women have no need to frequent the loo, go out shopping or be on the phone constantly.
Srichand Arora pointed to another major problem. “Our constant fear in the course of any trip was what to do if a lady falls or hurts herself. Where to hold her? How do we pick her up?” Added Siba Prasad Maitra: “If a man falls or breaks a leg, we can always carry him piggyback to the nearest dispensary or medicare centre. We cannot possibly do that with a lady.”
But Kiran Prakash sounded a note of warning: Shekhawat will not agree to the all-men’s idea. “It will break his heart,” he said. And true to his prediction, Shekhawat put his foot down the moment he heard about it today. “Why you want to do this? Mera dil toot jayega. Whatever problems there are with ladies-log, leave that to me. Let me handle it!”
So one thing is certain: If and when the men’s trip gets going, Hari Singh Shekhawat will not be part of it.
Bihari Milwani:
Shekhawat ka dil bahut bada hai...
Renu Babani:
Congrats Monthi on her son's engagement. God bless them both always.
Kiran Prakash:
The male folk will have to move cautiously. In the event of any such conspiracy again, Shekhawat can rush to the National Commission for Women with the documents printed above to safeguard the interest of his loved ones.

Day 1671

Pic of the Week

Now what?!?

The LEADER speaks. All pay heed! --Renu Babani

Commoner-in-chief addressing soldiers to be ready for the next picnic mission! --Bihari Milwani