Flurry of Activity

Laxmi Hadimani (l) makes an appearance

One of those chaotic mornings when too many things happen simultaneously without rhyme or reason and yet, in an inexplicable way, some sense can be made. If Santosh Tyagi had to complain about the “gap” developing around her

Santosh Tyagi

knee caps, Arun Patil was struggling to deal with the “shrinking stub” of his amputated leg. Zarina Khan informed of Kanta Sharma being re-admitted to a hospital near Charni Road, apparently due to a stomach infection.
In between, some hideous pamphlets were distributed on a “free comedy show” and Shanti Singh wanted a “Saturday slot” to celebrate her birthday falling on April 10. Tomorrow Geeta Latte would be having a celebration for getting her passport, immediately after Karun Sharma is done with his wellness session (ref yesterday’s post) in the China Hut. Some attempts at narrating jokes fizzled out unceremoniously. And then out of nowhere, Laxmi Hadimani erupted, sporting dark glasses, sending Bijoy Gupta and Shekhawat in a tizzy... The sudden flurry of activity can be attributed to one factor: the weather. Heat and humidity have surely got the better of us.
Bihari Milwani:
Gupta-ji and Shekhawat-ji must be singing the same song: 'Gore gore mukhre pe kalaa chashma'!

Saturday Sessions

Yusuf Rassiwala (in grey T) announces the next Karun Sharma Talk

Now that our in-house life coach Karun Sharma is back, the Saturday sessions on wellness are being revived. His next talk, meant exclusively for members of Big Laaf, is scheduled for April 1 -- soon after the exercises at the China Hut.
Making this announcement in the morning, Yusuf Rassiwala said that only those interested need attend the half-hour session: “As time is a major constraint, we expect all participants to remain seated and not walk in and out or engage in frivolous chit-chat in the course of the session.

Bijoy Gupta

Let us show our respect to the speaker for taking time out for our benefit.”
He added that we were fortunate to have Sharma as a member and prudence demands we take full advantage of this. “He is a rare asset to us,” Yusuf R said. “Were he to give the same talk elsewhere, he would charge his professional fees, something the Club can ill afford.”
Sharma informed that

Short reprieve for online jokes

he would much like to have an “interactive session”, rather than a one-way talk down to a silent audience. His last session, Quest for Happiness (ref post of January 28) was a huge draw, but had to be left inconclusive on the question of whether success was a by-product of happiness, or vice-versa.
Meanwhile, Bijoy Gupta treated us to some pearls of wisdom in his inimitable style, sending us all reeling in laughter. He had met some elderly idiots in the Garden early morning who tried to antagonize him, but he remained unfazed. “As you know, I do not get angry,” said the ex-boxing champ. “But there is a rider. It is worth getting angry if I stand to benefit. Or else, I will knock off a couple of teeth of my opponent and he would knock off four of my teeth and we would both curse each other for the rest of our lives. What’s the use?”
Taking his theory on anger management to another level, he advised us never to pick a fight at home. “It is totally futile,” he stressed. “Let’s say your wife tells you four bad things. Let her tell you 40 bad things. Let her say 400 bad things, but still do not utter a word. It will take you nowhere. The moment you open your mouth, you are dead meat!”
Thoroughly impressed by Gupta’s life lessons, Yusuf R had one word of appreciation: He too is an asset.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
In the Army we have a code of conduct that tells us to "never challenge the Boss" because "Boss is always right". At home, the wife is Boss. This holds true everywhere and every time. Those who follow this rule have been leading a happy life.

Silence Zone

Yusuf Rassiwala takes his oath on Gita

Rukhsana Khan (l) treats us on her return from A&N Islands.
Arun Patil, with double cap, is facing her

In these days of enforced indoctrination and moral policing, concerted efforts are being made to turn our laughter area in the Garden into a Silence Zone. Arun Patil today pushed the envelope further by demanding that we “take an oath on Gita” to observe complete silence during the exercises, ostensibly in the interests of maintaining discipline.
It was a bully’s cover up for his failure to rein in recalcitrant members, who have steadfastly challenged his authority as bossman of the Club. Predictably, Shekhawat refused pointblank to fall into this emotional/ religious claptrap.
But his co-chairman, Yusuf Rassiwala did not have the heart to disappoint Arun. He did the unimaginable by summoning Gita Latte after the exercises and with much ceremony, placed his hand on her head and promised not to talk in the course of the exercises! Later, he was to qualify the gesture as as an act of blessing Gita. But Arun was happy any way.
Significantly, we have another Gita in our midst, although we know her better by her maiden name – Kajal Babani. Yusuf R had the option of placing his massive hand on Kajal’s head, but quickly changed his mind seeing that she was in no mind to be party to the conspiracy of silence. After all, she, along with Bhaswati Bose and Santosh Tyagi are the Club’s original chatterboxes and Yusuf R had accordingly designated them ‘Batuni Babes’.
The Gita episode must be seen in the light of a series of developments that have silently overtaken us of late. Extraneous forces have been trying to muzzle us as we are periodically told to refrain from laughing aloud. Willy nilly we have also become adherents to the Swachh Bharat campaign and can no longer dare to host parties/ treats inside the Garden. We have a Yoga by the Nala also every day, just that it is conducted within the confines of the China Hut. Razia Khan, Khatoon Baig, Qadeer Bano and many others are attending these half-hour sessions religiously.
Where these would all lead to is anybody’s guess. For the moment though, everybody is happy as mercifully, no fear psychosis has set in – however hard Arun Patil might try.
Geeta Latte:
Fall in love with yourself first. Sajan re jhooth mat bolo, Khuda ke pas jana hai...

We’re Back!

Patting our own bums... for showing up

Yes, we are back – but not to anything normal. In the time we went on the blink, temperatures in the city have shot to such murderous levels that attendance in the Garden dropped drastically. It feels like peak summer now with the mercury hovering in the region of 40 degrees Celsius. As per news reports today, the temperature has risen by three degrees in the past 24 hours!
Compounding this distressful state, there have been two major tragedies: One, Mumtaz Jahan has lost her mother after prolonged hospitalization. Age-related issues are being cited as the cause of death. Two, Niloufer Rassiwala’s father has also passed away during this period. She and her husband, Yusuf R were on vacation in Dubai where news of the untimely demise reached them and they had to cut short their trip promptly. Our condolences go to the bereaved families.
On the positive side, we are happy to note that Kanta Sharma has been discharged from hospital (ref post of March 14) and is at present, recuperating at home.

Mumtaz Jahan

The Rassiwalas (file photo)

Karun Sharma, who had gone missing since February 4, has returned to the Garden and is now regular for the exercises. Nahid Khan too was absconding for long, but is showing up for the past couple of days. Likewise, we have Rukhsana Khan who disappeared to the Andaman & Nicobar Islands of all the places and is back today after a holiday. Bose Babu had ventured out solo to explore the badlands of U.P. and has returned, none the wiser for it. But yes, he has been handsomely rewarded with a severe bout of food poisoning for his exceptional act of foolhardy.
Thus, it was more a reunion of sorts at the Garden this morning, the muggy weather notwithstanding. Attendance hit a healthy 20-plus during the exercises, though there were still a few familiar faces missing – Bijoy Gupta, Shanti Singh, Angad Singh, Siba Prasad Maitra, Bihari Milwani… Hopefully, we would be seeing them soon.
Kiran Prakash:
Welcome back, Bose Babu.
Geeta Latte:
Happiness is not having what you want. It is appreciating what you have.
Dilip Babani:
Welcome back, Blog Monster.

DAY 2196

Pic of the Week

EXERCISES INTERRUPTED: But what exercise is this?

Kis Kis ko pyar karoon, Kaise pyar karoon, Tu bhi hai, Yeh bhi hai, Aur wo bhi hai --Bihari Milwani

This exercise sharpens 'deep visual capability' and is practiced by ace shooters and archers. The exercise is also known as Drowning in the Other's Eye. In Hindi there are many popular songs based on this exercise. One of them is 'Nazar ke saamne, zigar ke paas'. Hope this answers Blog Monster's query..--Kiran Prakash

Day 2195

BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE. WE'LL BE BACK!

Missing from Action

Life goes on in the Garden... relentlessly like this train

Amid all the fun and games in yesterday’s Holi celebration, there was one dampener: A number of members, very dear to us, were not to be seen. Their absence was felt all the more because they have invariably been the first to

Razia (l) returns from a trip to Canada and the U.S.

show up at the Garden whenever there is anything special on in the Club. The worst part was that they had stopped coming even earlier.
Nahid Khan was one. She is arguably the most regular among us for the exercises, but she had chosen this period to leave Mumbai to see her daughter. Karun Sharma was another. For the time he was around, few could match him on punctuality and attendance. He gave us a long talk on happiness and went off to Delhi, leaving us to our devices. That was a month ago.
Then there is Kanta Sharma. We heard she was admitted to Belle Vue in a critical state

Mallika Kagzi

early this month (ref post of March 4) and later, she was shifted to Criticare, Juhu. Now we are told she has been moved out again and admitted to the Sir H.N.Reliance Foundation Hospital in Charni Road. Tragedy is doctors are still clueless on diagnosing her. Her condition remains serious.
But the one we are missing the most is Mallika Kagzi, our president. Never to skip a single occasion in the Club, she has always been full of heart and to us, the very soul of every event, be it the Republic Day or Independence Day, a festival or anyone’s birthday. Yesterday’s Holi celebration felt incomplete for all members without her presence. Last heard, she was in Surat.
In all this, Razia Khan’s appearance today in the Garden came as a welcome beam of sunlight. She too had been away for long, to Canada and the U.S. and this morning she had brought us chocolates and crackers to mark her return. But the bigger news is that her grandson, Zaiyan Khan has been selected out of 3,000,000 contestants for the national ‘hackathon’ on April 1 – a collaborative computer programming event during which he will have to fry his brains with 40,000 other nerds for 36 long hours. We wish him the very best.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
We missed a number of our colleagues on Holi Divas. The absentees must also have missed the joyous and spontaneous happiness on faces of every one. We wish Kanta Sharma a speedy recovery from her illness. The arrival of Razia was welcomed by everyone. Hope she will now join us in our daily activities. We all eagerly await our president from Surat.

Holi 2017

Hari Singh Shekhawat realised rather late in the morning that today happened to be his 57th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY also. Typical of him. But he sponsored the HOLI programme for the Club. Many thanks and our best wishes to the Shekhawat couple.

Dilip Babani: Happy wedding anniversary, Mr and Mrs Shekhawat. May God bless this lovely couple. And Happy Holi to all Big Laaf family members. By the way, very nice Holi photos. Thank you, Blog Monster.

DAY 2192

Pic of the Week

Waiting for HIS MASTER'S VOICE

The youngest addition to Big Laaf is being welcomed by none other than His Master's Voice. We also welcome you happily, Mubarka. --Lt Col Angad Singh

Yusuf Bhai, you look great. Nice interplay between dog and the small girl. We all were enjoying and laughing at this scene. --Dilip Babani

In Fool’s Paradise

BIJOY GUPTA...

BIJOY GUPTA...

BIJOY GUPTA ALL THE WAY!

Bijoy Gupta is nobody’s fool. As MC of today’s Mahamoorkh Sammelan, he steered the proceedings the way we wanted -- drawing upon his sense of humor and fair play. Before anybody realized, he got himself elected without even standing for the election!
In the end, all four contenders – Yusuf Rassiwala, Kiran Prakash, Siba Prasad Maitra and Dilip Babani – had to withdraw from the contest, licking their wounds.
But they put up a tough fight.

Gupta conducts today's proceedings of Mahamoorkh Sammelan

Yusuf R went hilariously anecdotal to prove he was the biggest fool of them all while Maitra

Kiran Prakash

recounted in jest how fate and foolishness conspired in his career choices. Dilip narrated how gullible

Dilip Babani

he can get at times and had once, on April 1, fallen prey to a silly ruse from his wife, little realising it was All Fool’s Day.
The biggest surprise was to come from Kiran Prakash, who had

Santosh Tyagi garlands Gupta

obviously invested considerable time and effort in his bid to claim the mahamoorkh title. He displayed an old, yellowed parchment roll (in a brittle state) to prove that his ancestors were proclaimed ‘khandani moorkhs’ in some bygone era and to further bolster his claim,

Shekhawat congratulates Gupta

produced a laminated certificate to establish the he has kept the moorkh gene alive to date.

Refreshments at the end of the show, courtesy Banoo Apa

If these were not enough, he insisted on being the recipient of two very prestigious ‘medals’ also and promptly slung a pair of black slippers around his neck as proof!
Kiran Prakash would have been the sure-shot winner today had not Gupta got in his way. For the latter was on a roll from the word go, starting out on (by now, his favorite topic of) the recent Rajasthan Tour. He recounted how he was fooled by a ‘foreigner’ in our group and tried to hit on her, little realizing that she was “Naseem Khan dressed as Miss London”.
On another occasion, he caught sight of a beautiful “real foreigner” in a museum, only to be rudely interrupted by his wife, Pushpa. Having failed with females on all counts, he was returning peacefully from Jaisalmer by bus, when he was woken from

Photo op with the winner of Mahamoorkh Sammelan

his reverie with loud chants of “Bhaswati Mata Ki Jai!
Switching to our everyday interaction in the Garden, Gupta went on to explain why there cannot be another laughter club in the world like Big Laaf. But instead of stating the obvious, he began to mimic how some of us perform our exercises – Nahid Khan, Kiran Prakash, Yusuf R, Banoo Apa… The best was reserved for Shekhawat’s antics, exaggerated manifold as everybody cracked up like crazy.
In the end, when the votes were counted, Gupta was declared the rightful claimant of the Club’s first mahamoorkh title – much to Shekhawat’s undisguised joy. He now has a new stick to hit Gupta with every morning. But today, he congratulated his friend by showering flower petals on him while somebody placed a dunce cap on Gupta’s head and Santosh Tyagi felicitated him with a bright marigold garland. A fun-filled morning came to an end with light snacks and tea, principally sponsored by Banoo Apa.

THE ALSO RANS: (from left) Yusuf Rassiwala, Kiran Prakash, Siba Prasad Maitra and Dilip Babani concede defeat gracefully

Kiran Prakash:
* Gupta-ji was rightly voted Mahamoorkh. What hidden talent... Thanks to Big Laaf, it is now surfacing. He has an ocean of talent within him. Congratulations Gupta-ji. You are just too good!!!
* I have no words to offer Maitra Babu. His last sentence touched my heart. A very large-hearted person indeed.
* Yusuf Bhai and Dilip Bhai too entertained us with their anecdotes. We really enjoyed this morning. And Banoo Aapa is feeding us too frequently. Please take some rest Banoo Aapa.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Members of Big Laaf club laugh to glory while indulging in some pin pricks as well. During the election of Mahamoorkh even passersby watched keenly the lively proceedings and enjoyed the function. Members who were absent missed a rare opportunity. Hats off to Mr Bijoy Gupta who possesses amazing talent the depth of which is yet to be gauged. Many thanks to Banoo Apa for the delicious homemade snacks.
Dr Muhammed Farooq Khan:
HAPPY HOLI TO BIG LAAF FAMILY!

Change of Plan

Briefing for tomorrow's Mahamoorkh Sammelan

The much talked-about Mahamoorkh Sammelan (ref post of February 27) has been rescheduled for tomorrow. It was initially planned as the highpoint of our Holi celebrations on March 13. But due to overall confusion on conducting the programme, its chief advocate Bijoy Gupta today agreed to dissociate it from the Holi festivity.
Clearly, what Gupta had in mind was that certain people in the Club would stand for election and it would be a keen tussle among them at outdoing one another in their claim to be the 'supreme fool'. Then, through a process of elimination (“in Big Boss style”, as Gupta put it), a winner would emerge and he shall be felicitated with pomp and ceremony. In this, Gupta’s role would be no more than that of a facilitator or anchor at best.
Now this has come as a terrible disappointment to us. We had honestly expected Gupta to be not only a contender for the mahamoorkh title, but also the unchallenged winner after making a clean sweep of the votes.

Santosh Tyagi (l) checks if all are well after yesterday's kanji

It was a foregone conclusion, until Gupta spelt out the procedure for election. As Dilip Babani observed: “No matter who stands for election,

Bijoy Gupta

the title of mahamoorkh shall ultimately go to Gupta.” That apart, Gupta is himself doubtful if anybody in the Club would be sporting enough to accept the title in its true spirit.
The trouble is none of us has ever been exposed to a contest of this nature. Or else, a way out of the situation could have been found. Even if Gupta is roped in as a candidate and declared the winner, we would require another person, as witty and popular as Gupta, to be able to anchor the proceedings. After all, much of the fun shall depend upon how the election is conducted.
Moreover, it has become clear that the election of the mahamoorkh cannot be dissociated from the revelry that would follow naturally. So to keep the felicitation ceremony and all the merriment on hold till the Holi festivities could be a dampener. We would rather observe and learn how things pan out and accordingly, plan for the future. In that sense, tomorrow shall be a trial run.
Dilip Babani:
I think there are many mahamoorkhs in our Club. Let us see who becomes the sabhapati of these mahamoorkhs. He will get a prize. All should come and enjoy Gupta's performance tomorrow.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Mr Bijoy Gupta is a past master in mimicry. Let us see if anyone can surpass him. He is expected to be crowned Mahamoorkh, irrespective of the number of contestants.
Bihari Milwani:
Mahamoorkh means 'woh maharathi joh sabko moorakh bana sake'. None of the contestants has displayed any skill in this regard. Hence all are disqualified.

Double Treat

Banoo Apa serves us aloo chaat with sweet curd

We know that some people call us ‘bhukkad’. But we take no offence. Hindi does not have a word that adequately captures the spirit or meaning of foodies. So whenever Fahmida Khan and Yusuf Rassiwala go about playfully exchanging taunts and calling each other ‘bhukkad’, we too would happily join the madness.
Today we took this juvenility to a still baser level. Without realizing it we were decimating our very existence to the bags (or thailis) holding something nice to eat and drink. Thus when Banoo Apa landed in the

Kajal Babani pitches for kanji

Garden this morning with her bag of goodies – obviously stuff for a treat – word instantly got around that thaili had arrived!
For that moment, the person bringing the eats had ceased to exist. Thaili assumed precedence over Banoo Apa. Some even inquired greedily about the contents of that big bag. And when it turned out to be aloo chaat, the news was promptly relayed

Santosh Tyagi with glasses of refreshing kanji drink

round the exercise circle as though nothing else in the world mattered then.
This fixation for food is unprecedented. In the past, treats were always a surprise. Nobody asked what it was to be, even as some would have known or noticed the tell-tale bag arriving in the Garden. And if there was a delay in revealing its contents, a genial Tara Chand would perhaps politely ask the carrier of the bag if she/ he had “forgotten to tell us something”. That was as shameless as we could get. To say “Thaili is coming” instead of naming the person was unthinkable.
Fact is, one Thaili did not come today. Another Mr Thaili arrived while Santosh Tyagi lived up to her commitment of treating us to her annual kanji drink. As mentioned in blog posts in earlier years, no compliment is adequate enough for the way Santosh prepares this ethereal concoction of carrot and beetroot extracts, fermented to perfection. Some brave ladies thought they would be let into her “secret recipe”, only to be rebuffed with a cryptic, “You will have to take classes from me first”!
Some things in life are meant only to be enjoyed with no questions asked. Santosh’s kanji is one.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Kanji is a special drink liked by everyone. Thanks a lot, Santosh-ji for the treat. The aloo-chaat from Banoo Apa added a special flavour and was also appreciated by all. Thanks for the same.

Women’s Day - 2017

WOMAN POWER: CELEBRATING WITH ROSES

Women of the club today used the power of their imagination to reveal an unknown side to their selves in what was to be the most joyous celebration of the International Women’s Day we have ever had at the Garden.
Departing from the practice of awarding a trophy to the Woman of the Year, Kiran Prakash announced that all women of the club would be felicitated individually this year with a rose,

Kiran Prakash lays down the ground rules for today's celebration

provided each one of them ‘confesses’ to a blatant lie hitherto not revealed to anyone.
Karuna Waghmare stepped up to declare she “did not brush her teeth this morning” and was promptly rewarded with a red rose. Likewise Shanti Singh claimed to being the “tallest woman in the Club” while Zarina Khan boasted of being the “best singer and dancer among the women” and Fahmida Khan insisted on “nursing a deep hatred towards every member” in Big Laaf.
Following are some of the other true lies revealed this morning:
Kajal Babani: “I am the first to come for exercises every morning.”
Qadeer Bano: “I am always late for the exercises.”
Nahid Khan: “I am the most beautiful woman on earth.”

Lakshmi gets her rose from Yusuf Rassiwala

Bijoy Gupta (r) does his number

Manisha Kolhe: “I am Manisha Koirala.”
Santosh Tyagi: “I am Lalita Pawar’s sister.”
Banoo Apa: “I am very serious about the exercises.”
Naseem Khan: “I am the most slim and shapely lady around.”
Swati Panjabi: “I love giving pyar ki thappi to everybody”.
Rukhsana Khan: “I have no pain in my legs. I just pretend..."
Khatoon Baig: “I am the youngest and healthiest of you all. Who says I am getting old?”
Geeta Latte: “I never give correct advice to anybody. I am known to give ulti-salaah to everybody who asks.”
Lakshmi Hadimani: “Bathing with soap makes me dark. I used to be very fair earlier. So I have stopped bathing.”
Seeing how the women were struggling for words, Bijoy Gupta made an incisive comment: “I never knew women have to be taught to lie.” Soon he was to launch into an impromptu skit of a boy claiming to steal a kiss from a girl. It ended with a hilarious punch line: Chappad pe chumma leh kar kood ke bhaga (I kissed her on the terrace and scrammed)!
That was the ultimate in self-deception.
Bihari Milwani:
...and the award for the Woman of the Year goes to Mr Kiran Prakash for his "excellent innovative presentation"!

Day of Reckoning

Bijoy Gupta (in blue) allays all fears...

Saturday, March 11, 2017 is already being seen as a day of reckoning for the Club. Many have no intention of showing up that day in the Garden in spite of repeated assurances from Bijoy Gupta that whosoever is elected “mahamoorkh” (ref post of February 27) shall be treated with utmost respect. “We are here not to disrespect anyone,” he maintained.
But Shekhawat is not convinced. He makes no secret of his plans to bunk exercises on Saturday lest he be elected “mahamoorkh”.

Siba Prasad Maitra narrates
cobra story

To allay his fears, Gupta did a head count of those who would stand for election and eliminated Shekhawat – but with a rider: “He will have to explain why he is the wisest man around, why his khaandaan is full of wise people, how his children are also wise, why his grandparents were wise…”
That was enough for Shekhawat to smell a rat. He wants to be no part of all this, even as some of his close confidantes assured him that Gupta would be elected hands down.

Shekhawat (middle) watches nervously

“Yes, yes, we should all vote for Gupta,” he said nervously. “Nobody in the Club deserves the mahamoorkh title more.”
Gupta had a ready reply to this also: “Anybody can raise an objection on the way the election is held. You can always argue that the voting was rigged, that the winner is not the biggest fool, that there are bigger fools around and go on to even stake your claim as the biggest moorkh on earth!”
Surely we were missing something as nobody in his right senses would fight to be designated ‘great fool’ and live with the ignominy ever after. Soon others were to develop cold feet, thereby leaving Gupta as the sole contender (in all likelihood). In between, Siba Prasad Maitra recounted an apocryphal tale of a cobra having to nearly pay with its life for doing a good turn to a bunch of stupid children.
Sadly, the moral of the story was lost in chatter and everybody laughed foolishly. It was taken as a joke!
Siba Prasad Maitra:
Rightly pointed out by Blog Monster: The moral of the story got lost in the laughter of a joke -- though it was an anecdote.
Bihari Milwani:
I wonder why Mahamoorkh Day (Big Fools Day) is being celebrated on HOLI instead of April 1, All Fools' Day.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Election of mahamoorkh should be spontaneous. It does not require any canvassing. One must not shy away from attending the function and enjoying the proceedings.

Mission Accomplished

Shekhawat (r) in a self-congratulatory mood as he reviews the membership list

Preliminary talks for the next one-day picnic

Shekhawat has pulled off a miracle. In barely three days, he has concluded the subscription drive for renewal of Club membership for 2017-18. Everybody has paid for the full year, barring eight absentee members who are either indisposed or out of town. And there’s still about a month to go.
This is no ordinary feat. Shekhawat is blessed with the rare talent to be able to wheedle out cash from anyone, whatever the amount or circumstances. Such is the goodwill he enjoys that nobody ever doubts him with cash. Even then, it usually takes a couple of months for him to complete the process of collecting subscriptions -- with a few defaulters still left in the end.
So elated is Shekhawat by the cooperation of members that he now wants to plunge into another cash collection drive -- this time for a one-day picnic. Today he instructed Dilip Babani to check online on the holiday resorts in and around Mumbai – some place we have not been to so far. “The earlier we go the better,” he urged. “Or else, the weather would turn too hot to travel. If we delay too much, monsoon would set in.”
Dilip already has a resort in mind, but the charges there are on the higher side. “Leave that to me,” Shekhawat said confidently. “I know how to extract the best deal from resorts. On all Club picnics so far, I have brought down the rates by at least 25 to 30 per cent. You should know how to negotiate.”
Thankfully, Shekhawat is no longer talking about Lonavala -- a nightmare for large groups travelling in peak tourist season. (On one occasion, we had to even return half way due to heavy traffic.) Another popular destination, Alibaug is also being given the go by for the present. And should nothing work out, we might even settle for Saina, the resort we had been to last November.
Bihari Milwani:
Shekhawat must have bribed everyone by telling them he is celebrating his 57th wedding Anniversary on 14th March and only those who pay their subscriptions are invited.

DAY 2185

Pic of the Week

WHY SO MUCH ANGER? CAN ANYBODY EXPLAIN???

She is not angry. She is shocked and surprised at the major windfall of salties and savories on Zareena's birthday!. -- Kiran Prakash

They both want tea. Without tea, any party is incomplete. --Dilip Babani

They are angry because ladies are excluded from the 'Mahamoorkh' contest on Holi (13th March 2017) --Bihari Milwani

Holi is Here!

Bijoy Gupta holds centre court this morning

Holi has arrived almost 10 days ahead of time, except that we did not play with colours today. Bijoy Gupta held centre court for close to an hour, briefing us on how to go about with the main event of the festival, the Mahamoorkh Sammelan (ref post of February 27). And for the benefit of the uninitiated, he enacted parts of it amid peals of laughter.
“I am the biggest mahamoorkh of Mumbai,” he announced, reading from a prepared script. “My father was also a mahamoorkh. My grandfather was a mahamoorkh. My entire family is full of mahamoorkhs. Even my children and grandchildren who are not yet born, shall be mahamoorkhs!”
Gupta outlined process of electing the “greatest fool of the Club” and significantly, did not exclude the ladies from qualifying for this distinction – provided of course, they volunteered to stand for election. He already has half a dozen male members eager to assume the mahamoorkh title

Navin Bhai's salted peanuts (from Baroda) for all

and insisted that the best candidate be chosen on merit.
To cite an example on what makes an ideal mahamoorkh, he narrated an incident of a man who claimed to being married for two years and having fathered a child. “But in all this time, I have never lifted the ghungat (veil) of my wife,” he confessed.
Gupta was simply unstoppable with such anecdotal quips,

Kanta Sharma: Get well soon

witty jibes and stylised mimicry -- much of it unrehearsed. He even went on to imitate the way some of us laugh during the exercises – from Yusuf Rassiwala to Nahid Khan to Shekhawat (of course) and Kiran Prakash. “If I were to do others also now, nothing would be left for Holi,” he giggled. “Just take this to be a trailer of the main show.”
In all this, comes the distressful news of Kanta Sharma being hospitalized. She had been keeping indifferent health since the Rajasthan tour (February 5 to 12, 2017) and following the demise of her younger brother in Delhi, her condition had worsened. Still, she showed up at the Garden on a couple of days, but did not exercise for the most part. Now we hear she is admitted in the ICU of Belle Vue (opp D.N.Nagar Metro Station) since yesterday. Further details are awaited. Let us all pray for her speedy recovery and early discharge from hospital.
Bihari Milwani:
The one who comes to the Club wearing new clothes on Holi should be conferred the title of 'Mahamoorkh'.
Dilip Babani:
There are many mahamoorkhs in the Club. But Gupta's acting is better than all the mahamoorkhs. Gupta is a genius!

Getting Lucky

Displaying the 'booty bags' from Zarina Khan's birthday bash

We got lucky today also (ref yesterday's post). It was Zarina Khan’s birthday and without actually expecting it, we were treated to a major windfall of salties and savories, vada-pao, matthi, potato wafers… properly pre-packed in polybags together with a mango drink as an add-on.
“Except for the Frooti, all the items are home-made,” Zarina pointed out.
Zarina’s birthday bashes have always been lavish affairs. But nobody expected her to celebrate this time as she is known to be a vocal critic of us having to hold parties outside the Garden gate. Besides, tomorrow being a Saturday, many had expected her to delay her birthday treat by a day.
That said, it was a welcome departure from the practice of having to shift location soon after the exercises and busying ourselves with preparing plates, serving everyone individually and inviting strange looks from passersby. In fact, the distribution of the booty bags

One for the album: Zarina with Fahmida Khan

(as the pre-packed polybags were called) was done within minutes, leaving us ample time to chill out with the birthday girl

Zarina gets a birthday hug

and wish her well on her big day.
“I could as well have laid out all the stuff on paper plates,” Zarina explained. “But then, not only would it have created issues of clearing the litter, everybody would have asked for polybags to carry the eats home. So why not pack everything in advance into the polybags?”
To Zarina’s credit, she had managed to pull in an unusually large group of well-wishers, far exceeding the norm of 30-odd for our parties. Even Sunita Jajodia turned up, all the way from her new home in Malad. Of course, many like Bihari Milwani hung around to pay their annual subscription for membership renewal. And Bijoy Gupta had just about begun talking about the “fools’ conclave” (mahamoorkh sammelan) planned for Holi when he was cut short. We would rather hear him tomorrow. Watch this space.

SAMURAIS OF BIG LAAF: THE SEVENTH SAMURAI, SIBA PRASAD MAITRA CLICKED THIS PIC

Dilip Babani:
Happy Birthday, Zarina-ji. Very nice party bag. Gold bless you!