DAY 2794

Pic of the Week

Here's another one on an overseas vacation. Do you recognise him?

INTERPOL has finally caught up with the absconding secretary of Big Laaf! --Bihari Milwani

Dubai se aaya mera dost, dost ko saalam karo, raat ko khao piyo, deen ko aaram karo!!! --Anonymous

Thanks to the Swatchh Bharat Abhiyan, Indians are appreciating the use of dust bins. --Karun Sharma

Of dogs and crows

Banoo Apa is all chirpy in spite of her sore throat

Frolicking in the morning sun -- away from the dead crow

Today, Banoo Apa taught us something new: ‘kutte khansi’. Nobody in our group had ever heard of this expression. “I was down with the dog’s cough,” she informed. “That is why I could not come yesterday. Now I am feeling better.”
Rukhsana Khan shrugged her shoulders: “Never heard of kutte khansi. But I am aware of sher khansi (lion’s cough). I see this every morning,” she grinned, obviously referring to Shekhawat’s extended growl during the Lion and Lioness Laughter round.
The closest analogy we could draw was whooping cough. But Siba Prasad Maitra corrected us saying that it is essentially convulsive coughing (caused by severe infection of the respiratory tract) followed by high intake of breath that sounds much like a ‘whoop’.
Banoo Apa was having a sore throat from the cough and cold caused by weather change. She had difficulty talking. But she managed to give us another factoid: A crow, once touched by human hand, is mauled to death by other crows.
“Somehow, they get to sense when one of their own comes into physical contact with a human. It would be the end of that crow. They do not tolerate human touch. They believe they are far too clever to have anything to do with creatures as inferior as us,” she said.
The provocation for this comment was a dead crow lying close to where we exercise. We were told that early morning, before we arrived in the Garden, it had fallen from the sky like a stone – presumably out of exhaustion in the dead heat. A cat instantly pounced upon it and what remained for us to see was one black wing and some feathers.
But that was enough to attract a murder of crows, circling ominously overhead and cawing continuously while we exercised. None of us dared to go anywhere close to the carcass. And with Banoo Apa’s warning, we became all the more petrified at the sight of what was once a crow.

Subscription Overdrive

Kajal Babani drops by to inform about the indisposition of her husband

With just two days left for the financial year (2018-19) to end, Shekhawat is going great guns with the collection drive for renewal of club membership. So engrossed was he with this annual exercise that he became completely deaf to the many taunts

Dilip Babani (file photo)

on the outcome of consulting a faith healer for his wife yesterday (see post).
Bijoy Gupta was particularly curious as he got to know that Shekhawat had sought an appointment with a regular GP in the neighborhood within minutes of meeting the faith healer. Obviously, the morning treatment in the China Hut did not work. Without refuting or confirming anything, Shekhawat simply remarked that he did not want to take any chances as he and his wife were scheduled to leave for their village (in Rajasthan) on Tuesday.
Meanwhile, Kajal Babani dropped by to inform that her husband will not be able to join us for the exercises as he has to be hospitalised. “He needs to be operated upon for an acute varicose vein condition,” she explained. “We haven’t decided as yet whether it will be at Kokilaben or CritiCare Hospital.”
Dilip Babani has for long been suffering from varicosed veins – a problem that gets progressively worse with advancing age and lack of exercise. Aggravating the condition was a nasty fall on Sports Day (ref post of March 3) which, according to Kajal, had ruptured a vein in his leg. Evidently, oral medication is not helping in any way. We can only wish him the best treatment and speedy recovery.

Operatic Structure

TAI CHI ROUND: Synchronised head-thumping at breakneck speed

For the first time today, our exercises were structured like an opera – minus the music. We began on a slow pace, picking up when Nahid Khan took over and conducted the free-hand exercises. We adopted the classic fast-slow-fast A-B-A movement of an overture, quickening the tempo during the second laughter session, following it with an upbeat tai-chi round and finally, hitting a crescendo with jubilant hand-clapping to the count of 108.
And then there was silence.
Of course, none of this was intended. But it felt good, despite the sweltering heat and stillness in the morning air.

Mohan Kanwar Shekhawat 

The humidity was killing. But as Razia Khan exclaimed in the end, “Mazaa aa gaya!” It was indeed fun.
The unusual pacing of the exercises today was prompted by a peculiar development. Shekhawat’s wife paid us a visit. Mohan Kanwar Shekhawat has been suffering from a crippling knee problem that refuses to go away.

Milling around Shekhawat (in yellow tee) after the exercises

So her husband, in his infinite wisdom, had fixed an appointment in the Garden with a witch doctor who is supposed to have treated three or four similar cases. And he does not charge anything, said Shekhawat.
In front of him and his wife, nobody uttered a word. The moment the couple left to meet the witch doctor in the China Hut, tongues started wagging. And the exercises went for a toss. Some said he was an “original" Feku Baba who would eventually extract his pound of flesh from Shekhawat. Those who knew him (apparently, Rakhee Bansi is under his treatment) informed that this 'baba' looks you in the eye, blows on to your face and much to Bijoy Gupta’s delight, even spits on you!
The conversation, in bits and spurts, was only delaying the exercises – till suddenly, we woke up to the urgency of wrapping up the session by 8:00 a.m. We stepped on the gas and the result was a bewildering race against time, leaving everybody breathless.
Long and short of Shekhawat’s story: His wife walked out of the gate looking confident, a spring in her step. The 'baba' had told her not to come again – whatever you are to make of this.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
The number of rehearsals of our play, Pheku Baba has obviously created a real 'Pheku Baba' in the Garden. Bijoy Gupta must have cast a magic spell on him and sure enough, the 'baba' has been able to cure Mrs Shekhawat now. Hope the cure is a permanent one.

Bihari Milwani:
If that witch doctor has really been able to cure Mrs Shekhawat, all senior citizens and super-senior citizens should go to him and ask for their youth back.

Annual Churning

Zarina Khan pays her annual subscription for 2019-20

It is that time of the year when we need to reaffirm our allegiance to Big Laaf. As Shekhawat put it, we need to pay our annual subscription (for renewal of club membership) for 2019-20 by March 31, the last day of the current financial year.
“I am leaving for my

'Princess' Mubaraka in crown and sash

village on April 2 and shall be away for a month,” he announced. “Before I leave, I would like to have our membership list updated. So please pay your subscription for the next year by April 1 latest.
“He is playing an April Fool joke on us,” quipped Nahid Khan while setting the process of cash collections this morning. Zarina Khan was the second to pay up, soon to be followed by a few others. Most of the members promised to pay by the week-end.
Meanwhile, here’s a spot of heart-warming news: Yusuf Rassiwala today informed that his grand-daughter, Mubaraka (remember, one of the judges at our Sports Day on March 3?) was crowned ‘Princess’ at a pageant conducted by her school recently.
This was however, not her first claim to fame. A rare combination of beauty and brains, Mubaraka has already starred in a popular television serial as a child artiste and just the other day, floored us by a scintillating speech, delivered extempore, at our prize-giving ceremony (ref post of March 9) in the Garden.
Together with younger sister Jamila, they make a formidable duo. Hearty congratulations, Mubaraka!

CENTRE OF ATTRACTION: Mubaraka (centre) with her school mates at the pageant

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Congrats Mubaraka and Yusuf Rassiwala. Mubaraka has a lot of talent. She is an upcoming star. God bless her. Our club membership is depleting. It is high time some young people are invited to join and add to our talent pool.

Salma Rassiwala:
I thank you on behalf of the Rassiwalla Family for uploading my daughter Mubaraka's pictures on her winning the Princess title in her school. We are very much obliged to Big Laaf and its members for all the love and affection showered upon her. We wish you all a very bright, beautiful and prosperous and healthy lifestyle.

Crazy Weather

It's suddenly become summer. And the ground is parched.

The weather is driving us nuts. At 7:00 a.m., when we gather at the Garden for the exercises, it is still partially dark. Within half an hour, the sun comes blazing down, leaving us drenched in sweat, confused and panting for breath.
The temperature during the day hit 40.3 degrees yesterday – a record 7.5 degrees above normal, according to today's newspapers. Siba Prasad Maitra checked his mobile and announced it was already 39 degrees even as we were just midway through our exercises. And to imagine, till barely three days back, on Saturday, we were thanking the heavens for allowing us a “cool and pleasant” morning spell for a week.
“Now that we know it is abnormally sultry, I am feeling extra hot,” complained Nahid Khan. “It is impossible to carry on exercising in this weather. Had we not talked about the heat, maybe I would not be feeling so bad.”
For Yusuf Rassiwala, it was even worse. Returning from cooler climes (ref yesterday’s post) where the temperature hovered around 18 degrees, Mumbai felt like being in a furnace. But he took it on his chin like the rest of us, knowing well there’s no point complaining.
After all, it isn’t even April and there’s still two-and-half months to go before monsoon brings us some respite -- hopefully.

Bihari Milwani:
TEMPERATURE IS TO BE CHECKED BY THERMOMETER. HOW COME SIBA PRASAD MAITRA CHECKED THE TEMPERATURE WITH HIS MOBILE???

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
The sudden change of weather has become unbearable everywhere. However, we mortals have no control over it. One must endure what cannot be cured. All the same, there is nothing permanent in this world. As winter has gone, in the same way summer will also go. Enjoy the present. Be happy and make merry. But be regular with the daily Big Laaf routine.

Traveler's Tales: 1

Yusuf Rassiwala

Yusuf Rassiwala today marked his return from the holy cities of Karbala and Najaf in Iraq by flagging off the first session of Traveler’s Tales – a new initiative wherein members would share their experiences/ impressions from a tour with the rest of the Club.
“We were a family of five in a group of 60 from India,” informed Yusuf R. “We left on March 12 and returned last Saturday, post-midnight. It was a pilgrimage-cum-pleasure trip to two of the holiest of holy places of our community. We did not visit Baghdad though, for security reasons. This was my second visit to Iraq after almost nine years.”
The purpose behind our interactive session was two-fold: one, to provide an emotive forum for those returning from a tour/ vacation who would be bubbling with information that they cannot

The family of five, outside a shrine. Yusuf Rassiwala's brother is second from left 

otherwise share; and two, to satiate the curiosity of those planning to or perhaps, not so fortunate to go on such a trip.
As Yusuf R pointed out, “I wish all those religious places in Iraq were not restricted to Muslims only. You could feel, at every step, the presence of the Almighty. The weather was divine, never so cool in March. I am a heart patient. But not for a moment did I feel any stress, even when I was to walk for miles on end on difficult terrain. It was nothing short of a miracle.”
Yusuf R had fond memories of the lavish spread laid out in hotels, though the staple (for locals) comprised khabooz (similar to our pao, but big), chicken, camel meat, fish and of course, dates. “The war has ruined their economy,” he observed. “There is so much of poverty there. Our rupee is equal to 16 Iraqi dinars. You find women of all ages everywhere.

Yusuf R addresses members of the Club on his return from Iraq

The war has claimed their men.”
In spite of the grim situation, there were moments from the trip Yusuf R will never forget: “For example, out of nowhere, a man came up asking to be photographed with me. Don’t forget, communication was

Holy offerings from Iraq for everybody. Banoo
Apa collects on behalf of those absent today

a problem because of the language barrier. But there was something angelic about that stranger I could connect with. And then, he wanted to be photographed with my elder brother!”
On another occasion, Yusuf R left his mobile behind at a shrine and had walked quite a distance before remembering to pick it up. He trudged back and by the time he could retrieve it, the rest of the group had drifted away beyond contact. He realised he was lost. “Somehow, I managed to find my way, asking people around and reconnected with the group.”
Yusuf R's narration of these incidents gave us a vivid mental picture of what he had been through. As Dilip Babani and then Bijoy Gupta remarked, he had taken us on a virtual journey of Karbala and Najaf in that brief, half-hour of interaction. He concluded by distributing pre-packed dates, raisins and other holy offerings from the pilgrimage.
Banoo Apa, who conducted the session, delivered a vote of thanks.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
It is educative to listen to a person who has gone abroad, especially on pilgrimage.

Karun Sharma:
WOW, this is an excellent initiative. Travel teaches us many things and tolerance is one such lesson. It was good to know that war is no good and we all must aim at becoming a peace loving society.

DAY 2787

Pic of the Week

Can you give a catchy caption for this pic from Shanghai?

Coming soon... blockbuster of the year -- 'Lamboo in Shanghai' starring superstar Kiraaaan P... and introducing Anjanaaa Prakash --Bihari Milwani

The Big Laaf adventurers in a happy mood. --Angad Singh

Living the love of traveling together. God bless you both. --Karun Sharma

Jealousy Jibes

Siba Prasad Maitra

Siba Prasad Maitra is still having to face jealous jibes for winning as many as four prizes on Sports Day (ref post of March 3). Well-deserved as every cup and medal may be, somehow our members have not been able to forgive him for accomplishing this record feat.
“Where have you put up so many cups?” chided Nahid Khan, herself a winner (second place) in one event. “I suppose you have displayed a cup in every room of your house…”
Maitra cut her short: “Why don’t you come home and see for yourself?” Coincidentally, he was sporting the same yellow T-shirt that earned him the sobriquet of ‘Yellow Uncle’ from the judges on Sports Day.
This was the buzz all morning even before Maitra had reported for the exercises. “Did you notice he had come prepared with a huge bag on the prize giving day?

Members condole the untimely death of Naseem Khan's younger
brother in Gwalior. He succumbed to a massive cardiac stroke. No
laughter was raised in the end as a mark of respect to the departed soul. 

I saw him stuffing all the Cups into that bag,” informed Bijoy Gupta.
That his wife Pushpa had also bagged four prizes (but of lesser denomination) obviously made no difference to him: “I had to hear from my son last night when he called from London. He shamed me for not winning a single prize while his mother won four!”
“I was terribly unwell on that day,” Shekhawat interjected. “Otherwise I too would have walked away with a cup or two. I would not have allowed Maitra or Pushpa to have a free run.”
The discussion inevitably took a turn to changing the rules for the next Sports Day. There was talk of introducing new events – such as testing who can eat how many boiled potatoes or green chillies within say, 100 seconds.
Maitra suggested a safer option like peeling boiled potatoes. But Shekhawat had a better idea: “Why not have a daru-drinking contest? We shall have small liqueur glasses and whoever takes the maximum number of gulps in a limited time shall be declared winner. The whiskey will be from my side.”
The idea caught on, even as some ladies demurred halfheartedly. “But the drink should be consumed neat,” insisted Maitra. Dilip Babani suggested this should then be the last event of the day but it was promptly overturned. Sports Day must begin with daru drinking!
The consequences can well be imagined.

Bihari Milwani:
I think in 'daru drinking', everyone will wholeheartedly participate. Pomegranate is called daru in many Indian languages. Drinking pomegranate juice increases red blood cells in the body.

Subtle Humour

Zarina Khan

Vijay Jakhia

This piece is long overdue. After all, what is a laughter club unless members laugh their guts out and return home happy? And this is where Zarina Khan’s sense of humour comes in.
Every morning she waddles into the Garden like an overdressed penguin, oblivious to her surroundings. Outwardly reticent and self-absorbed, she lives in a bubble. It is when that bubble bursts, her true nature emerges and we are left buckling up in fits of laughter.
The best part is Zarina doesn’t realize when she is being funny.
So this morning, when she noticed Bhaswati Bose and Vijay Jakhia in deep conversation away from the exercises, she looked rather perturbed. Now, Vijay-bhai is one of the most lovable souls on this planet. He routinely waits for Bhaswati to show up in the morning and only after exchanging a few pleasantries does he leave for home.
Today was no different. But Zarina noted they were engaged in conversation for an inordinately long time and in what seemed like a slip of tongue, she quipped: “Look at Bhaswati, she is meeting her daddy!” Instantly Shekhawat jumped with joy, clapping.
Another day, the Club’s stray dog, came sniffing around. Zarina detests dogs. She freezes whenever the stray visits us and keeps a hawk’s eye on it until it leaves. This time she noticed that it left only after nuzzling Banoo Apa for a while.

"Did you go to meet your Daddy?"

Zarina said nothing then. After the exercises, she accosted Banoo Apa alone and in all seriousness, asked: “Did you telephone that dog to come?”
These days, Zarina is obsessed with going on a picnic before summer sets in. She loves picnics. And for quite some time, there has been no picnic from the Club. Every time she has broached the subject and got things moving, the picnic gets cancelled at the last moment. Now she is convinced that "someone has cast an evil eye on the Club". She refuses to acknowledge that people are getting old and lack the earlier enthusiasm or stamina to venture out of their comfort zone. Instead, she is hell bent on engaging a practitioner of black magic to remove the evil spell cast on the Club so that we can all go happily on a picnic like the good old days!
There are many such hilarious stories on Zarina Khan. But the one Fahmida Khan loves to narrate is about an obstinate mule that refused to carry her during an excursion to Kashmir. Zarina insisted on mounting that particular mule. The inevitable happened. She got tossed over and landed flat on her back. The way Zarina cursed that poor mule can well be imagined. The language is so colorful it cannot be published.

Holi 2019

HOLI HAI! BEFORE CELEBRATING

We had a colorless Holi this year. In fact, it was the cleanest and quietest celebration in town today. Not a speck of colour was applied on anybody.

Banoo Apa treats us to litchi drink

Instead, we celebrated by sharing a lot of love and fresh air.
But Bijoy Gupta had different ideas for today. He was planning to get his “music deck” from home and dance with gay abandon in the Garden till someone scared the life out of him.
“I was told that Yamraj (the lord of death) will beat you black and blue if you celebrate Holi when there’s death in your family,” he said taking a dig at Shekhawat.
“You deserve to be beaten up badly,” Shekhawat shot back.
“No-no-no… you have no idea,” Gupta continued. “Yamraj beats people with a big bone. He chews one end of the bone and thrashes you with it continuously.

Rakhee Bansi and Vandana Kankanwar join the celebration

Believe me, it hurts a lot. That is why I wanted you to play Holi -- even if you were to be the only one in the Club to do so.”
Shekhawat got the hint and ignored Gupta from then on. But Gupta was relentless. Right through the exercises, every time someone joined in or wished us 'Happy Holi' from a distance, Gupta warned: “Buri khabar hai… We have very bad news. That is why we are not celebrating this year.

Bihari Milwani (r) treats us to ghevar

Shekhawat will explain after the exercises.”
Fed up by his constant teasing, Shekhawat quietly slunk behind Gupta and flicked the cap off his head. The odd part was that Gupta did not even realize his cap was gone. So when Shekhawat went to return the cap later, Gupta was completely stumped for words.
Banoo Apa had brought litchi juice, which had a sobering effect on Gupta. And then there was Bihari Milwani who treated us to ghevar, a rare crunchy jalebi-like confection made especially for Holi.
But the biggest surprise was to come in the end, from two ex-members – Vandana Kankanwar and Rakhee Bansi. They had brought along a huge bottle of flavoured milk drink (much like thandai) and served it in paper glasses with salty biscuits. This was absolutely divine. Together with Banoo Apa’s litchi drink and Milwani’s ghewar, it more than made up for whatever anybody might have missed in today's 'festival of colors'. Happy Holi to all!

HOLI HAI! AFTER CELEBRATING

Pre-Holi Bash

Members take a final call on celebrating Holi tomorrow

Banoo Apa hosted a pre-Holi bash this morning. She had sensed the reluctance of members in organizing any celebration this year (ref yesterday’s post). “Since no one wants to take the initiative, let me treat you to chai-biscuits,” she said. "Let this be our Holi party."
In doing so, Banoo Apa not only kept a long-standing tradition alive, but also reaffirmed the secular ethos of our Club. That it is possible to transcend the barriers of faith

Bijoy Gupta (r) teaches Shekhawat
how to exercise

in celebrating a festival was very admirably driven home by this free-spirited lady.
Earlier in the morning, a collective call was taken to “cancel Holi” this year. Siba Prasad Maitra had just informed that he would not take part in any celebration tomorrow since he had “lost a very near and dear one” recently. He would nevertheless attend the exercises, he said.
Shekhawat had cited the same reason for abstaining from any celebration this year (ref post of March 16). Two other key members, Yusuf Rassiwala and Kiran Prakash are away.

Banoo Apa ushers in Holi with chai-biskits today

And since no one was prepared to assume responsibility for bringing the colors and refreshments, it was decided to give Holi a miss this year.
Bijoy Gupta tried making an issue of this, only to realize that he himself would not be able to celebrate tomorrow. He lost his daughter on March 18 last year but is supposed to be still in mourning. “My daughter left us on March 18, Gudi Padwa day,” he explained. “Going by the date, my mourning period was technically over day-before yesterday. But my wife insists that we ought to wait till the next Gudi Padwa. So I will have to remain in mourning till April 6 this year.”
Be that as it may, what we can expect tomorrow is our hour-long exercise routine, followed by maybe, a customary gulal smear on the forehead to mark the occasion. Nobody looks inclined to have anything beyond that – which is a pity.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
It was nice of Banoo Apa to treat members to tea and snacks in this pre-Holi do. Congrats to her. It is sad that we are missing an occasion to laugh, enjoy and be happy. Holi is not only the festival of colors but also of laughter, happiness and merry making. We are missing a great opportunity. The day one has not laughed is a day not lived.

Low Key Holi?

Pushpa Gupta (in white t) regales... It's business as usual in the Club

Holi, the Indian ‘festival of colors’, is day-after-tomorrow.
With Shekhawat excusing himself from taking part (ref post of March 16), the celebration this year is hanging in the balance. Adding to the uncertainty is the continued absence of Yusuf Rassiwala and Kiran Prakash. Both are currently abroad.
If anybody is upset by this turn of events, it is Bijoy Gupta. He had tried to convince Shekhawat

Holi Mahamoorkh of 2017
(file photo)

to “do something for Holi”, but to no avail. Yesterday there was some talk of keeping the celebration low key by restricting ourselves to some basic color play and light refreshments – even doing away with the customary thandai. Today, the subject was not brought up.
Time was when the festival used to be celebrated by the Club with great fervor and revelry. Member or no member, the entire Garden took part. Two years back, at the instance of Gupta, we also had a Mahamoorkh Sammelan (The Fool’s Convention) on Holi. It was a huge draw (ref post of March 11, 2017) meant to be replicated every year.
Suddenly, all that enthusiasm has evaporated. A sense of collective inertia has set in the Club that accounts for an abysmal lack of interest. When Gupta’s wife, Pushpa (another enthusiastic reveler in the past) appeared this morning, we expected things to stir up a bit. But she too studiously avoided any mention of Holi.
Sadly, nobody is even complaining!

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
We have been celebrating Holi with a lot of josh. This year our strength has depleted. But it must not make us so despondent as to not celebrate the festival at all. We should have a positive attitude. I suggest we celebrate, even as it may be on a low key.

Mr 654321

Banoo Apa and Bhaswati Bose dance to Ulti Ginti Wale as Bihari Milwani (r) watches

Bihari Milwani has acquired a new name. From “Banke Bihari Lal”, he was christened to “654321” today. And thereby hangs a tale.
As is well known, Bihari has a way with numbers. From performing complex computations to remembering birth dates and anniversaries, this 60-something chartered accountant even has a 999-year calendar encrypted in his hard drive of a brain. No wonder, he has little use for a computer.
Of late though, Bihari has started something new. During the tai-chi round, while all of us keep count as normal humans do, he does it in reverse order. Instead of rattling aloud 1-2-3-4-5-6… he starts off with 6-5-4-3-2-1… For some like Naheed Siddiqui and Rukhsana Khan, this makes no sense because they'd have no clue at what point he would stop.
But Banoo Apa had figured it out. So this morning, she parodied the popular Bollywood number, Tirchi Topi Wale and together with Bhaswati Bose, did a jig around Bihari, addressing him as “Ulti Ginti Wale”. So spontaneous was the act that Bihari got no time to be embarrassed.
On balance though, it was decided to address him by a name that is closer to character. Bihari gave his consent and thus, from today, he shall be known as Mr 654321. One person amused by this honorific was Shekhawat – simply because he can never remember the sequence of digits. “It sounds like somebody’s telephone number,” he chuffed like a child.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Milwani is famous for his phenomenal memory. He is a running encyclopedia insofar as events pertaining to members of Big Laaf are concerned. You do not have to remind him; rather, he reminds you about a forthcoming event. His sharp memory and marked humility have won the hearts of everyone. Good show. Keep it up.

Bihari Milwani:
I thank Big Laaf for giving me another name which is unique and very easy to remember. I also noticed that when my turn comes in the tai-chi round, everyone starts smiling. This is always in addition to the three laughs which we raise at the end of the exercises. I noticed also that many members (not some) do the brain exercise by counting mentally in the reverse order.

DAY 2780

Pic of the Week

She is in a state of sublime bliss. Guess what is she up to?

Is she jumping with joy on seeing her boyfriend? --Bihari Milwani

Dark Comedy

Bijoy Gupta (in white t-shirt) looks lost

Bijoy Gupta is mentally in the dumps. The plays he has scripted are yet to be staged. He could not take home a single prize on Sports Day. Half the things that go around him do not register in his head. And now he is afraid that next week, there will be no Holi in the Garden.
“Kiran Prakash has gone,” he lamented this morning. “Yusuf Rassiwala is also away. There is nobody left in the Club to organize Holi, except Shekhawat. He is the chairman. He better do something about Holi, or else… Who made him chairman?”
Shekhawat was largely unresponsive knowing well he was being provoked. “I am not celebrating Holi this time,” he murmured.

Happy Birthday, Kiran Prakash
(file photo)

“There’s been a death in my family. We are in morning. My elder brother’s daughter’s daughter died barely a month back.”
Quick on the uptake, Gupta retorted: “My elder brother’s daughter’s daughter also died. I am not joking. It happened in Asansol. Her house suddenly developed cracks and crumbled to the ground. I am not joking. The rubble has still not been cleared.”
A hush descended during the exercises, only to be broken by Gupta himself. Turning to Nahid Khan, he asked abruptly if her parents are alive. “No, they are no more,” she replied politely. After some time, he turned to Shekhawat: “Is your father alive?” Shekhawat ignored him.
Bhaswati Bose was next. “Is your father alive?” Gupta asked. Sensing something up his sleeve, she tried to be non-committal. She pointed skywards to indicate that he too has gone to meet his creator.
“Rukhsana, is your father alive?”
Rukhsana Khan gave a toothy grin, saying he too has departed from the planet. “I don’t think anybody in the Club has surviving parents, except probably Banoo Apa,” she declared. “Banoo Apa goes to see her mother regularly.”
“Then let Banoo Apa play Holi by herself this time!” Gupta concluded. Nobody laughed.

Bon Voyage

Kiran Prakash (c) gets a warm send off from the Garden this morning

This once-popular French expression lost its relevance in English language ever since ‘catching a flight’ became the norm for overseas travel. We no longer wish anybody 'Bon Voyage'. We’d rather say “Have a great trip” or “Wish you a safe journey” – even ‘See you soon’.
But today morning, we found the perfect opportunity to say ‘Bon Voyage’. Kiran Prakash leaves tonight for his East Asia vacation during which he will spend much of his time in the high seas aboard a luxury cruise liner. It would be a pleasure voyage (in the true sense of the word) with all the world’s comforts, recreation and entertainment that few among us, if any, have had the good fortune to enjoy.
Incidentally, it’s his 70th birthday tomorrow.
Kiran Prakash is a man of few words, reluctant to volunteer information, unless asked. From what we gather, he will be boarding the cruise from Shanghai and set sail to Japan where he is supposed to drop anchor at three ports. We shall have to wait for details of this remarkable odyssey when he returns this month end.
Meanwhile here’s wishing him once again, ‘Bon Voyage’ and a very ‘Happy Birthday’ in advance.

Kiran Prakash:
Thanks, Blog Monster and all dear friends for your good wishes. It means a lot to me. Tonight we are flying to Hong Kong and will be there till 18th. On 19th and 20th, Shanghai. 21st to 28th on ship cruise covering Tokyo, Osaka, Kobe and then, back to Shanghai. Wherever I am, my heart will always be with you all, dear friends.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Prakash-ji, your sojourn reminds me of my own trip to Korea about 70 years back. I sailed as a 'chikoo' - as they called me at that time - from Madras. After a turbulent voyage across Bay of Bengal, we reached Singapore, our first port of call. I had bouts of sea sickness. Our next stop was Hong Kong. It used to be a wonderful city where we came across a number of sardars settled there. We had an enjoyable break of three days. I remember we took a train from sea-level to the highest peak of the island. It was a steep ride across a jungle. We then sailed to Korea while seeing the lights of Shanghai at night. Cutting across China Sea and Pacific Ocean was wonderful, but for getting struck by the tail of a typhoon. It was a horrible experience. Many of our colleagues were washed away by the ocean waves and soon, the next wave brought some of them back. A few were devoured by the mighty ocean. An aerial search did not yield any result. The sweet memories suddenly became sour. When we reached Korea, the ocean had turned calm and quiet as a pond.

Shift Focus

Shekhawat celebrates his wedding anniversary with laddoos

Shekhawat had almost managed to deflect attention away from himself on having a party for his wedding anniversary (ref last post) today. Yesterday, nobody spoke about it. Today also, he could have got away scot free and nobody would have batted an eye.
Obviously everybody believed him when he cleverly invoked a ‘village custom’ that mandates celebrating his anniversary a day after Holi – whatever date it might be. And in typical Big Laaf fashion, our focus shifted to the next big potential host, Kiran Prakash, whose 70th birthday

Nahid Khan treated
us to gajaks

it would be day-after-tomorrow.
But Shekhawat has to be Shekhawat. This morning he sprung a surprise by producing a box of laddoos to celebrate his anniversary. “Next year when it will be my 60th wedding anniversary, I shall throw a grand party,” he promised.
It did not matter. By then Shekhawat was replaced by Kiran Prakash in the club’s consciousness. It seems yesterday, the latter had left it to some members to decide what kind of party they'd expect of him. Banoo Apa had even checked the menu with a popular restaurant in Lokhandwala Market for a proper sit-down breakfast.
Other options were also discussed. But all that will have to wait as Kiran Prakash is leaving for his overseas tour tomorrow. So whatever birthday celebration is planned can happen only after he returns end-March. Unsurprisingly, there are enough people out there to make sure he pays a heavy price for leaving us high and dry on March 16!

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
A party satiates the tongue only. The effect is minor and limited to a short period. The enjoyment of laughing together is for a longer duration. Also, the effects are much bigger and better.

Parties without Pause

Shekhawat tries to wriggle out as Bijoy Gupta accosts him for a party

After three back-to-back parties, our members look like they've tasted blood. They want more. And who better to extract a party from than the softest target, Hari Singh Shekhawat?
Hardly had his Vyanjan treat yesterday (see post) been digested than Bijoy Gupta started to rib Shekhawat this morning. “What kind of party was that?” he demanded. “It was not even a trailer. You were supposed to take us to a hotel and treat everyone in style. And here you dismissed us from the Garden with just a food box in hand? You ought to be ashamed!”
Fahmida Khan denied even getting a box. Shekhawat was at pains to explain when, where and how he had personally handed her a box, but to no avail. “Never mind,” she condescended. “You can still invite me to a proper party.”
Shekhawat’s biggest problem is that he brags too much. At his age (he is hitting 80) this is understandable, particularly because he has worked hard to attain a level of contentment (beyond his expectations) so late in life. But to constantly boast about his income, assets, etc. makes him vulnerable to predatory attacks from those not so privileged.
“What about the ‘ladies party’ on your anniversary day-after-tomorrow?” reminded Nahid Khan.
“Next year,” retorted Shekhawat. “This will be my 59th marriage anniversary. Next year, when I complete 60 years, you can have a grand party like the one I gave on my 50th at Maheshwari Bhavan. We had drummers, musicians and folk dancers performing.”
“I wasn’t there, how would I know?” countered Gupta. “I don’t know if I’ll be alive to see your anniversary next year.”
“That’d be your bad luck,” said Shekhawat, making a hasty exit.

Bihari Milwani:
While in the car, Shekhawat asked me as to why everyone was talking about a party on Thursday. What is the occasion? I had to explain to him that Thursday is 14th March which is his Wedding Anniversary Day. Then only he understood the reason for the demand for a party!

Bhaswati Bose:
That is why Shekhawat-ji was looking so confused. He repeatedly kept asking why we wanted another party so soon!

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
The Big Laaf members must enjoy the moment. Laughter spreads enjoyment among members and this time will not return. So be happy and partake in the small vyanjans. Look after your health and clap forcefully.

Exodus Begins

Yusuf Rassiwala

Urmila Sinha

Lt Col Angad Singh

* Yesterday, Urmila Sinha left by train for her home town, Dhanbad. She would be visiting family and friends and is expected to return after one month.
* Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd) also left last evening, for Dubai. He is spending quality time with his sister there and after three weeks, will fly direct to his home town, Mohali. He is not very sure when he would return to Mumbai.
* Tonight, Yusuf Rassiwala shall be leaving with family for Najaf, one of the two holiest of holy cities in Iraq -- the other being Karbala. He had been on a similar pilgrimage about nine years ago. He should

Shekhawat distributes  food boxes from Vyanjan

be back with us in 10 days or so.
* In another four days, Kiran Prakash shall also take off on an overseas trip, to Japan. He will be celebrating his birthday (March 16) there. And by the “end of the month”, he should be back with us in Mumbai.
Meanwhile, Shekhawat kept his promise of treating the Club and this morning, he handed out boxes of savories in the Garden. There were three reasons for this celebration: one, his grandson has secured admission in a London college; two, Siba Prasad Maitra granted him a “new lease of life” (Shekhawat’s words); and three, a substantial hike in his pension.
Many were however, not satisfied by the boxes. According to them (mostly ladies), it was “too little for so much” going for him. They argued that Shekhawat ought to be treating the Club to a good meal in some ritzy restaurant, or better still, invite us all home for a sit-down dinner.
They are now waiting eagerly to pounce upon him (on his wedding anniversary) this Thursday and make a meal of him!

Bihari Milwani:
Leave of absence granted. Inn sabh ki chhutti manzoor ho gayee hai.

DAY 2774

Pic of the Week

Photo Credit: GEETA LATTE

When time stopped at the Garden!

Any similarity
with this picture
is purely
coincidental and
intended! 

Banoo Apa, please don’t cry. You also got a BIG Cup! --Bihari Milwani

Both have the same expression: one, for winning the biggest award of Miss Universe and the other, for winning the biggest cup of Big Laaf! --Bhaswati Bose

Both are surprised by the unexpected award! --Angad Singh

Many Congratulations!

Sports Day awards function

Siba Prasad Maitra threatened to wear a Bengali dhuti-panjabi for the awards ceremony today. We insisted he better be ready with four different colored T-shirts to be worn each time he steps up to receive an award.
Taking the cue, Pushpa Gupta promised to turn up in a

Siba Prasad Maitra

lehnga-choli and change into sari, then to salwar-kameez and finally to either a skirt or shorts. Like Maitra, she too was receiving four awards. In fact, between them, they had swept more than half the awards given out today. But then, as things turned out, both showed up in regular work-a-day clothes – Maitra in white T-shirt and trousers and Pushpa, in a non-descript blue gown, covered from top to toe!

Pushpa Gupta

Kajal and Dilip Babani: two
winners in a family

Personal gifts from Rukhsana Khan.
Kiran Prakash is in the background

Yet, they outshone all prize-winners present (ref post of March 3) with an armful of dazzling cups and medals strung around their necks.
Dr Muhammad Farooq, our chief guest of the morning, did the honors while Yusuf Rassiwala shared

Mubaraka with her gran'pa,
Yusuf Rassiwala

the (make-shift) dais with Shekhawat. Kiran Prakash revealed his penchant

Bhaswati Bose receives her medal
from Dr Muhammad Farooq

for ready wit as the compere – even getting Dilip Babani to inflate a balloon to prove that he really deserved the first prize in the event.
The awards presentation was peppered with such humorous asides as winner after winner, held aloft the glittering trophies to a rumble of applause from the audience. It was verily a moment of pride for each of them – completely unexpected, but well-earned. The most wonderful part was that the entire club joined them warmly in celebrating their achievement.
Not to be left out, the three judges too had their moment in the sun. Mubaraka Rassiwala, Alviya Khan and Saleha Khan were individually given ‘medals of commendation’ and

Prized Moment: From hubby to wife with
love and admiration

Mubaraka Rassiwala addresses the gathering on
behalf of the kids

separately, Rukhsana Khan presented them (and all other kids) with personal gifts as mementos. If that was not enough, little Mubaraka delivered a brilliant speech – completely extempore and superbly worded as only a child can – thanking the Club for having her around. She was speaking on behalf of all the kids present.
But the best, as they say, was reserved for the last. Kiran Prakash declared that the Club owed all the excitement and joy of the Sports Day to one person

Banoo Apa

and were it not for the tireless efforts of this individual behind-the-scenes, we probably would not be seeing this day. Big Laaf would therefore like to felicitate this person for her “outstanding sporting spirit” with an award, he informed. He kept the suspense hanging in the air, urging members of the audience to take a guess…
And then he revealed the name: BANOO APA. Her reaction to the announcement must be seen to be believed. For that, hold on for the Pic of the Week tomorrow. It's a picture worth a million words!

Special Credit: All the pictures in this post have been clicked by GEETA LATTE.

WINNERS ALL (l to r): Yusuf Rassiwala, Bihari Milwani, Dilip Babani, Urmila Sinha, Banoo Apa, Siba Prasad Maitra
Pushpa Gupta, Nahid Khan, Bhaswati Bose and Kajal Babani 

Intekhab Alam Khan:
Thanks guys for honoring both my parents. You guys are truly wonderful. Deep respect and gratitude to all of you.

Banoo Apa:
Dear Big Laaf people -- Haar-jeet toh zindagi ka hissa hai. Magar haarne ke baad, jo mujhe izzat bakhshi hai, mujhe shayad jeetne mein bhi itni khushi nahi milti. Yeh sab aap logon ka pyar hai. Thank you very much. This is a great achievement in my life.

Dilip Babani:
Sports Day enjoyed and prize distribution ceremony, more enjoyed. Big Laaf members and guests are best and all are very caring.

Muhammed Farooq Khan:
I wish to place my heartfelt gratitude to BIG LAAF for bestowing the singular honor of distributing the prizes to winners of the sports event. Throughout the ceremony and thereafter, I was wondering, “What have I done to earn this singular honor?" I couldn’t find any achievement of mine worthy of this honor. But then suddenly it dawned on me that BIG LAAF is my family. And the family loves and honors every member equally. On Saturday it was my turn, and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment. I look forward to serving my BIG family in any and every way possible.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Big Laaf is a wonderful organisation. In celebrating Sports Day, every one is a winner. The prize winners are certainly there, but all the participants are also worthy of winning. The enjoyment could be felt by their joshila participation and happiness.

Harish Wadhwa:
Wow!!! Pics of the winners holding cups. Congratulations to all the winners. Maitra-ji, Bravo! You got three of them.