‘All in the Mind’

Bijoy Gupta entertains, as usual. Siba Prasad Maitra is at the centre.

Bijoy Gupta is a wise man today. It has taken him one-and-half months to conclude that nothing is wrong with him, that he is absolutely hale and hearty and that all the ailments he was suffering from were imaginary.
“I have resumed all my bad habits,” he boasted all morning. “I am back to smoking like a chimney, drinking like a fish... I don’t take any medicine now. I have thrown away all the tablets and capsules doctors had prescribed and see how fit and fine I am!”
Indeed, Gupta looked fit as a fiddle. But he now believes that after his viral attack last month, all doctors were taking him for a ride by prescribing expensive medicines and suggesting unnecessary tests, thereby creating a fear psychosis in him.
“The fact is nothing was wrong with me in the first place,” he told a highly amused audience this morning. “Their medicines made me ill. They were convincing me that I had some serious disease and I believed them. After all, it’s all in the mind.”
Since last month, Gupta’s main complaint has been that he felt out of sorts, did not sleep well and was getting weaker by the day. He had stopped coming to the Garden and was off the phone for a while. Now that he has wizened up, he was back to cracking jokes and fooling about with Shekhawat.
The same cannot be said of Siba Prasad Maitra though. He too had turned up after a long time and looked quite pulled down and worried. Turns out that he has been under considerable stress of late, resulting in fluctuating BP levels, particularly during the evenings.
Let us hope and pray that he recovers soon and is back to being his jovial self.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Sickness is mostly in the mind. If this is removed a majority of problems would be sorted out. Think healthy, be healthy, live healthy. Gupta has come to this conclusion after a long and expensive treatment. Now that he is fit, Shekhawat should come out on equal terms with Gupta so as to face him squarely like a bravo tiger. Keep laughing and enjoy your fitness!

Singapore-Malaysia Tour

SINGAPORE: The Merlion at Centosa Island

Regardless of what may (or may not) be happening in the Club, our intrepid travel junkies are forever raring to go. They have toured the country, even covered its extremities -- from Goa to Gangtok, Kashmir to Kerala. They have also ventured overseas – to Bangkok in 2017. And now they are headed to destinations even beyond – Singapore and Malaysia.
Today, in what amounted to surmounting the first and biggest stumbling block of the tour, they received their visas

Nahid Khan proudly displays
her passport and visa 

for both the countries. Like the last foreign trip (to Bangkok), there had been no rejection this time also. Nahid Khan, Laxmi Hadimani,

MALAYSIA: Kuala Lumpur by late evening

Bhaswati Bose, Naheed Siddiqui and all others in the 15-member group can now happily pack their bags and plan out their day-to-day programme.
They would set out in a fortnight – on June 9 – and return after a week.
Of all the group members, Nahid Khan looked the most excited – not because she was going to tread on foreign soil for the first time. She would now be getting the thappa – the Customs and Immigration stamp on her otherwise blank passport. “Nobody can now tease me for keeping the passport uselessly,” she chirped like a child.
But like the others, she too had certain apprehensions: Will the weather be very cold out there? Or would it be raining, like in Mumbai? What food shall we get to eat there? What shopping can we do? Would it be very costly? How much money should each of us carry? Will we have to walk around a lot…
These are routine questions every traveller ought to ask. But most do not.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Mention of Singapore has turned my mental clock back by 67 years when I last visited the place. It was only a few years after World War II. Singapore was a very attractive place then and many Indians were settled there. We felt so enamored by everything that we called it the 'New World'. It was difficult to get bored there. We wished we could stay there longer, but our tour of duty was more exacting. We had to leave early. Now of course, there would be many improvements and you can see far better things than I did. How I wish I could join the trip!

Statue Talk

Gupta and Shekhawat (at far end) engage in major leg-pulling

However unwell or out-of-sorts Shekhawat and Bijoy Gupta might feel, the moment they get together sparks begin to fly. One would provoke the other and what happens thereafter is anybody’s guess.
They complement each other beautifully!
Today they were meeting after nearly a week and both, coincidentally, were still (ref post of May 20) under the weather. Instead of comforting one another as two normal human beings would, Gupta suddenly popped the idea of erecting a statue in Shekhawat’s memory.
“Not in the next 30 years,” Shekhawat shot back. “I am not going anywhere any time soon.”
“Nobody is talking about how long you live,” Gupta

Bihari Milwani celebrates wedding anniversary

assured him. “Look at Mayawati in U.P., she has put her statues all over the place, even as she is alive. Can’t we put up just one statue in your honour?”
Gupta went on to suggest that the spot where we have been exercising regularly in the Garden would be ideal for erecting the statue and even put a figure of Rs40,000 as its estimated cost. “It is less than the pension Shekhawat draws,” Gupta pointed out. “If he is unwilling to pay, we will all pool in so that a grand statue of Shekhawat comes up soon.”
Seeing everyone sniggering around, Shekhawat chose to ignore Gupta. But the latter was not giving up. He announced that he has been receiving complaints against Shekhawat and he would grill him in front of everybody after the exercises.
Secretly Shekhawat was enjoying the attention and hung around after the exercises for a while. Bihari Milwani started distributing chocolates to mark his wedding anniversary today, thereby providing a momentary diversion from the general discussion.
That was enough. By the time Gupta could gather his thoughts and mount another assault, Shekhawat had disappeared. He was out on the road, hitching a ride home in Milwani’s car.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Gupta and Shekhawat are like magnets that attract and repel each other. They get so involved with one another that they lose track of what they talk and what the occasion is. They get intoxicated and start their noke jhonk which is quite enjoyable. Keep enjoying!

How Time Flies!

Khatoon Baig confides in Yusuf Rassiwala

It was a morning of comparing notes – the provocation being mainly Khatoon Baig who was showing up after a long, long time. The last anybody remembered of seeing her in the Garden was during monsoon time, about eight months ago.
Today she looked bright and chirpy, obviously happy on being welcomed back with great warmth and respect by all present. A fourth laugh was also raised in her honour when she arrived.
Vandana Kankanwar was also there today. She came with the news that her son

Vandana Kankanwar

had passed his three-year honours course in B.A.(Architecture) from a prestigious college in Bandra. We have seen the boy. He would now have to go through a period of internship before qualifying for an architect's licence, the proud mother elaborated.
“How time flies,” she remarked. “It seems like just the other day I was running from pillar to post trying to get him admitted in a decent Mumbai college. Three years has since gone by and I did not even realise it!”
“My grandson was born three years back,” Pushpa Gupta intervened. “So much has happened since, but I distinctly remember every moment, every step he has taken while growing up. Today, I cannot believe he is already three years old.”
Khatoon informed she has shifted residence, having put

A full house today.. after a long time 

her earlier two flats on rent and moving into a bigger place close by. “This is in Indra Darshan,” she said. “It is of course, very spacious but more important, it is closer to the Garden than where I was staying earlier. I shall be able to come regularly now, every morning.”
There is however, one bothersome issue. Khatoon revealed she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s last year (which explains her long absence) and after extensive treatment is now on the road to recovery. But she still requires to be administered medicines at short intervals which leaves her terribly drowsy.
“But I think I’ll be able to manage,” Khatoon said hopefully. “I need to come here daily. This place is like my maikey – maternal home. Where else would I get so much of love? Even Naved (her son) knows how attached I am to this Club and that is why he decided to shift to Indra Darshan. He did it for me.”

Karun Sharma:
It was extremely pleasant to meet Nahid Khan and Khatoon Baig after a long time. Both of them had glittering freshness on their faces as their birthdays are close by. May God bless and keep them healthy.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
When you are happy, time flies as if it has wings. You realise this only after "so much time has passed". Live happily and enjoy this gift of nature. Its bounties are immense. May God keep everyone hale and hearty.

Taking a Toll

Nahid Khan returned from Lucknow: treats us to sweets this morning

If proof were needed of how time has taken a toll on us, here it is. Never before has attendance in the exercises hit rock bottom for such a protracted period. Those who could overcome the rigors of fasting during Ramazan and bravely made it to the Garden in the past are hardly to be seen this time around. For once, there are also pleas from the elderly to curtail the exercises to beat the heat – a clear indication of the fatigue factor kicking in.
The other day, Naseer Putani Shah struggled

Naseer Putani Shah

to complete the exercises and ended up coughing continually till he was given warm water to wet his throat. He has stopped coming to the Garden since. Likewise, Bijoy Gupta showed up for a couple of days, complained of feeling low and drained out (ref post of May 10) and disappeared thereafter. It’s been almost a month he was down with viral fever and has not yet recovered.
His junior by three days, Shekhawat (yes, there's documentary proof of both being born on April 1943 but three days apart!) is today a shadow of his former self. More than the festering sore in the skin covering his sternum (ref post of May 7), he suffers from chronic loss of appetite and according to his wife, has shed 12 kilos in the recent past. Being vegetarian has only worsened matters.

Tara Chand Seth

Sitaram Hivarkar

Nazma Sayyed

Khatoon Baig

There are many others – Santosh Tyagi, Fahmida Khan, Khatoon Baig, Sitaram Hivarkar, Nazma Sayyed, Tara Chand Seth… all of them not in the best of health. In appearance too, they are no longer what they looked when they joined the Club. That was more than a decade back. Sad to say, age has caught up with all of them – as indeed, with the rest of us.

DAY 2833

Pic of the Week

Belated reminder of an event everybody missed… and one man remembered.

Kiran ji, do cherish happy memories of that special day. And also thank our Encyclopedic Memory Person, the great Bihari Milwani! --Angad Singh

Small is Beautiful

The massive drop in attendance this Ramazan has opened our eyes to a truism: ‘Small is Beautiful’. No longer do we have to deal with multiple moods and attitudes, unnecessary chatter, ego clashes and other irritants that come with exercising in a large group.

Unwinding after the exercises

In a small group, the mind stays more focused and time is not lost in wasteful distractions. Above all, bonding between the members improves over time.
There are other pluses of exercising in a small group. We don't have to be cramped inside the China Hut where we have just shifted to escape the blazing heat out in the open. We now have ample space to stretch our limbs without fear of bumping into or inhaling the sweet aroma of one another’s perspiration. The fans overhead are an added bonus.
However, too small a group is not good. For instance, we hit rock bottom this morning as there were only two of us present at the start of the exercises. (We need a minimum of three). The regulars like Kiran Prakash, Shekhawat, etc. had not come. Luckily Karun Sharma showed up and saved the day.

Karun Sharma

Otherwise we would have been left with no choice but to abandon the exercises.
Karun has lately been coming to our rescue in these precarious situations, thereby keeping his word of ensuring that not a day is lost due to want of manpower -- at least till Ramazan lasts. Today, Pushpa Gupta joined the ‘rescue effort’ as she promises to mark her presence before 7:00 a.m. from tomorrow.
Meanwhile, news comes in of no improvement in Bijoy Gupta’s condition (ref post of May 10). Pushpa informed that he has turned completely lethargic and listless, sleeps all day and has instructed all at home not to ever wake him up. The doctor who treated him for viral fever has suggested a battery of pathological tests, which would cost a bomb. Gupta is wondering whether to change the doctor.
News from Shekhawat’s end is also not good. Last evening, he had to be escorted home from the Garden in a serious condition. He was showing Mohar Singh the sore on his chest (ref post of May 7) when suddenly the "skin burst open letting out a fountain of pus”. Soon after he developed breathlessness.
But this morning when Shekhawat called up the Garden, he sounded somewhat better.

Karun Sharma:
It is good we continue to survive and do our exercises even with such low attendance. Based on clear requirements indicated to me, I have shifted my exercise into the latter half to meet the situation. I have to do some exercises for my shoulder using apparatus and complete my daily walking target. If we prioritize health, we must prioritize exercise too.

Bihari Milwani:
Shekhawat and Gupta have proved the old saying, fighting never pays. Both these 'fighting lions' are injured and remain confined to their homes.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Summer is at its peak and it affects everyone. Everywhere people have become lethargic and avoid moving out of their homes. Remember, health is wealth. One must muster the energy to come out of the ghonsla and enjoy a little bit of nature and some funny pranks -- the very spice of a healthy life.

IPL Hangover

Vijay Bhai is still in shock

Vijay Jakhi lost his chocolate by one run. Bhaswati Bose had promised to celebrate with him today should M.S.Dhoni’s Chennai Super Kings (CSK) lift the IPL Cup. But as luck would have it, their team lost to Mumbai Indians (MI) in a nail-biting finish last night by just one stupid run.
“My chocolate is gone!” complained Vijay Bhai, forcing a smile. “Bhaswati-ben has not turned up today, obviously because she is in mourning. I too am unable to believe how MI could have won. I think Dhoni being given run-out turned the game in their favour.”
As expected, the match was analysed threadbare in the Garden and many theories were bandied about for yesterday's shocker. What emerged from the discussions was that a majority of cricket fans in the Garden were M.S.Dhoni supporters. The general feeling was that he did not deserve to lose.

Shekhawat (c) is back in the Garden from today

One fan went to the extent of saying that it was a rigged tournament with “U.S. money” being pumped in to ensure MI’s victory!
Be that as it may, the good news is that Shekhawat has started reporting for the exercises from today (ref post of May 7). On Saturday he had gone to the naval hospital in Colaba to get operated for the infection on his chest. But he was not admitted, partly because the surgeon who was to see him is on leave till June first week.
Earlier on (last Thursday), Shekhawat had gone to Asian Heart Institute in Bandra where his by-pass surgery was done in May 2013 (exactly six years ago). The doctors there examined him and recommended immediate surgery “to clean up the infection” so that there would be no recurrence of pus formation.
Shekhawat has the option of getting operated, either at Asian Heart or Ashwini, the naval hospital. He has chosen the latter. But the ‘problem’ last Saturday was that the infection had dried up mysteriously. He had no pus formation to show the doctors in Ashwini and be admitted. Moreover, as he said this morning, he was feeling fit as a fiddle.
Let us hope and pray, he remains so and is eventually, out of the woods.

DAY 2830

Pic of the Week

SQUEEEEEEEEZE... A CELEBRATION OF LOVE!

Captains of Mumbai Indians and Chennai Super Kings hugging each other before the start of today's IPL cricket final. --Bihari Milwani

Fertile Imagination

Pushpa Gupta

Bijoy Gupta may be physically under the weather from a recent viral attack (ref yesterday’s post). But mentally, he is on a creative overdrive, crackling with the craziest of ideas. Funnily enough, it has to be his wife, Pushpa Gupta who is having to bear the brunt of his flights of fancy.
This morning he reported that Pushpa received a call from Dhanbad – from Urmila Sinha. The latter is planning to return to Mumbai, but according to Gupta, is still deterred by the behaviour of one person who routinely stands beside her during the exercises.
“She could not recollect his name,” Gupta said. “But obviously, she meant one of the two men who stand on either side of her. She did not specify on which side, left or right.

Bijoy Gupta (c) presides over today's morning durbar

So this brings to question the behaviour of two individuals – one being Shekhawat and the other, Siba Prasad Maitra. It could be either of them.”
Since Pushpa was not present to either confirm or refute the story, Gupta could have a blast at her expense. All of a sudden he shifted gear -- to having a “get-together once a week in the China Hut” where we might enact parodies or skits over tea and pakora.
“Maybe not once a week but at least once a month to start with,” he explained. “I’m sure it would be much better than the Friday evening programmes in the China Hut. There is so much happening in our Club, we shall be never short of entertainment.”
To illustrate his point, he narrated a skit idea of a member being overwhelmed upon winning several cups and medals on Sports Day and seeking another member’s advice on what to do with them. Their free-wheeling banter would serve as the crux of the performance. “No script, no rehearsals… just spot performance,” Gupta clarified. “Pushpa will be able to pull it off.”
The idea found instant resonance with all present. Kiran Prakash even suggested a date for launching this unique programme – June 8, 2019, the first Saturday after Ramzaan. It now gives us something new to look forward to.

Rare Spectacle

An all-male show this morning

In a predominantly female club, we were witness to a rare spectacle: an all-male presence during the exercises. No lady member was to be seen today.
Over the past few days -- since the onset of Ramzan on May 7 -- Bhaswati Bose and Nahid Khan were the only two ladies who have been making an occasional appearance. Naheed Siddiqui too was sighted one day. But today, they were all conspicuous by their absence.
A drop in attendance during Ramzan is however, not surprising.

Bijoy Gupta rues his fate

We have been experiencing this every year and as usual, efforts are taken to persuade people to be punctual so as to keep the show going. But two peculiar factors have come into play this time around, thereby impacting our daily attendance severely.
The first is that Ramzan has come to coincide with a period when summer is at its harshest. (As Nahid Khan once put it, “it has come too early” this year.) The second reason is that a number of our members have not been keeping well of late. The extremely torrid weather conditions have led to an outbreak of ailments – viral fever being the most common.
Bijoy Gupta was frank enough to admit that he has no clue why he feels "down and out” these days. He says he has lost interest in everything – even to get up and take a walk around the Garden as he used to earlier. In fact, he would be among the first to arrive in the Garden at daybreak. But nowadays he is prone to playing hooky.
“Everybody tells me to see a doctor,” he complained today. “But what do I tell the doctor? That I am having an upset stomach, head ache, sleeplessness, body pain…? The truth is I am not suffering from any of these. In fact, I have no ailment at all, except for feeling low and out of sorts. Nothing else.” Siba Prasad Maitra advised him to take a stiff drink (of vodka) before retiring to bed tonight. “You’ll wake up full of energy, raring to go!” he assured. Funnily, Gupta believed him!

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
Scant attendance for the exercises is mainly due to lack of energy. We lead a very unhealthy life style. We eat and drink for taste and not because of the quality of nutrients. Think about it. A few weeks back we had the good fortune of listening to a talk by a dietician. Follow her advice and all of us will feel better. We are senior citizens and we should be more concerned about food value rather than the taste of what we eat. I would suggest that whenever we celebrate birthdays or anniversaries, we should observe these basics.

Bihari Milwani:
Attendance was less because there was no party!

Third Relapse

Shekhawat

Shekhawat is once again, in deep trouble. Since Saturday last, his chest has started smarting under the sutures (from a bypass surgery, years ago), leaving him terribly weak and exhausted. Apart from the intense pain, continuous pus formation in the affected area has gravely worsened his condition.
“On Sunday we had forcibly squeezed out four tablespoons of pus from the area,” his wife informed. “On top of that, he is hardly eating anything. He says he has lost his appetite due to the pain. This morning, we checked his weight and found he had lost two kilos in the past few days.

On the first day of Ramazan today...

He has become so weak…”
Yesterday (Monday), Shekhawat managed to visit his local GP and was told to immediately get in touch with Asian Heart Institute – if possible, with the surgeons who had operated on him. They were best equipped to suggest a future course of action. This was the same piece of advice the good doctor had given earlier also – on the two occasions when Shekhawat approached him with the same problem.
On both occasions however, Shekhawat chose to ignore him and went to the Naval Hospital (in Colaba) instead, only to be faced with a relapse each time. This time though, good sense prevailed and he has booked an appointment with Asian Heart Institute for tomorrow, i.e. Wednesday. Till then, he shall have to depend on painkillers, including an ointment.
Strangely enough, some members of the Club are seeing a ‘larger conspiracy’ in all this. Their considered view is that had Shekhawat not gone to his village last month, he would have been saved from so much grief and “none of the pus formation and pain would have happened”. This is obviously the result of messing around with the chudails of his village, they argue.
Now, who would quarrel with this argument?

Karun Sharma:
Traveling consumes lots of energy and exposes one to health risks. We would like Shekhawat to be healthy and jovial. But for this he must learn to conserve energy and maintain good health.

Bihari Milwani:
To be healthy, Shekhawat must be happy. And he is happy only when all his four saalis come to the Club. So someone must make the effort to bring them in the morning.

Ramazan Eve

Fahmida Khan (c) gets birthday calendar from Kiran Prakash

With a day to go for Ramazan, Banoo Apa treated us to chilled mango milk shake after the exercises today. From tomorrow she, like many others, will not

Preparations for cake-cutting

be able to visit the Garden for a month. It shall be a period of severe austerity and fasting – which just turned even more acute due to the extreme summer conditions this time around. Needless to mention, Banoo Apa’s absence would mean

Sharing the first bite of the cake

a month of enforced deprivation for the rest of us in the Garden.
By a happy coincidence, it was Fahmida Khan’s birthday also today. And so we had a double treat on the eve of Ramazan – what with a formal cake cutting ceremony,

Banoo Apa (c) treats us to mango milk shake

followed by south Indian snacks outside the Garden. Fahmida had ensured that close friends like Rukhsana Khan, Banoo Apa, Naseem Khan and others were present on the occasion and it was among them that the first slice of cake was shared.
Earlier in the morning, Kiran Prakash did the honors of presenting Fahmida with her birthday calendar on behalf of the Club and we raised a fourth laugh for her, as per Club tradition. We sang the birthday song as we always do… but Bijoy Gupta was not there today to add that extra zing with his zany musical outbursts. Looks like he is yet to recover from last week's viral attack.

Spreading Wings

Zarina Khan

There was a time, not so long ago, when air travel was a matter of prestige – a preserve of the privileged. Then came a time when owning a passport had the same effect in raising your snob value. Soon, that too became commonplace. Then came a time when going abroad meant that you had arrived – that you were actually cat’s whiskers!
We have been observing this upward mobility within the Club itself – from a time when ‘picnic’ meant going to Lonavala at the most.

Exercising in the shade of the China Hut  

Oddly enough, there were many who would say then that let alone Lonavala, even going to a resort with a swimming pool, rain dance, etc. was beyond their wildest imagination. But with time, we have outgrown that also.
Today, nobody wants to go to Lonavala. In fact, it is hard to find anybody in the Club who has not traveled abroad. How things have changed so fast was evident from a light-hearted exchange between Zarina Khan and Nahid Khan this morning. The former is a seasoned traveller as she has been regularly

Nahid Khan

visiting her son and his family at Doha, Qatar. She’ll be going there again, later this month.
Nahid is just her polar opposite. But over the past few years, she’s been spreading her wings, never missing the chance to explore a new place, meet new people, try out new things. She has now signed up for a trip to Singapore-Malaysia in June and in the process, get a thappa (visa stamp) on her passport. “I want to know how it feels to be treading on foreign soil,” she says.
That was enough for Zarina to abandon her ‘yoga class’ and give Nahid a tutorial on her upcoming “foreign experience”. Coincidentally, she has visited Singapore earlier and could come up with information on Mustafa, Centosa Island, the Merlion, Little India, etc. much to Nahid’s amazement. “You have no idea how clean the place is,” Zarina went on.
With Yusuf Rassiwala, Bhaswati Bose and others chipping in occasionally, what stood out was the innocence of the interaction – the sense of awe and wonder that accompanies a foreign trip. It is this undying curiosity that makes us more travelers than tourists.

Depleting Strength

Rukhsana Khan

With each passing day, our collective strength has been on a decline at the Garden. But this is only expected. We are in the month of May and the weather is supposed to be extremely torrid and hostile. This is no time to exert yourself and exercise.
But the worst is yet to come. In less than a week, attendance would crash even further with the onset of the holy month of Ramzaan.

Fahmida Khan's grand-daughter, Saliha (standing) treats us to sweets on
being promoted to Class VI in school

In the past, some lady members could still make it to the Garden while keeping fast. But now, with age catching up, that level of commitment towards the exercises is severely lacking among our fitness fiends. Many like Rukhsana Khan have indirectly conveyed to us that their next visit to the Garden will be only after Ramzaan.
But even that looks uncertain, the way things are going this year. Ramzaan ends on the first week on June -- bang on time for the first monsoon thundershowers to descend. So even if there are people are inclined to visit the Garden, conditions may not be conducive – particularly for those who are infirm and staying at a distance.
Effectively, the Club is now at the threshold of an extended lull. Monsoon in Mumbai usually lasts till end-August or early-September – which means continued absenteeism and an indefinite cessation of all activities (other than the daily exercises). Only after five months, around October, can we expect a semblance of normalcy to return to the Garden.

Lt Col Angad Singh (rtd):
During the summer months, not many members are expected to be present for the regular exercises. The religious fasting during Ramzaan also take precedence. It is just so unfortunate that we shall be missing a number of our members at this time of the year.

Ready Reckoner

Shekhawat (in striped tee) distributes the Membership List

Shekhawat today performed the ritual of distributing the Membership List of the Club, effective April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020. More than providing an annual update, the list serves as a 'ready reckoner' indicating the telephone numbers of bona fide members, i.e. those who have not defaulted on their annual subscription and against whom there are no dues.
That’s so far as the official line goes.
What is not official and indeed, not talked about is a hilarious reality befitting a laughter club. Just as in a new restaurant we discreetly skim the extreme right-hand column of a menu card, the main attraction of this new ‘reckoner’ is the last column that lists the birthdays of members.
To an outsider, the column conveys little – not even the age of a person. But to a true, blue-blooded Big Laaf member, there exists a wealth of embedded information that, in many subtle ways, influences interaction between Club members in the next 12 months.
For one, you now know how to budget your birthday bash – how much damage you’d be exposed to, an affordable venue, whether or not to invite ‘special guests’, etc. For another, you can prepare yourself well in advance for birthdays to be avoided – or otherwise.
On the other hand, there are clusters of birthdays that tell you when it will be unwise to leave town – unless of course, you fall in that cluster. It may even make sense to be regular (if not punctual) for the exercises at those times of the year.
There are many such issues… but then, to be fair, these do not matter to those who are serious about exercising and in their daily attendance.

Bihari Milwani:
In school we used to get a List of Holidays. Here, in Big Laaf, we are given a List of Compulsory Attendance Days!

Catching Up

Kiran Prakash (r) is witness to the ongoing banter of
Bijoy Gupta and Shekhawat

Shekhawat thought he could legitimately escape the obligation of hosting a birthday bash this year. He was ‘in transit’ that day (Saturday, April 27) and no sooner he set foot in the Garden on April 29 (Monday) than he started distributing barfis and pedas sourced from a reputed confectioner near his village in Rajasthan.
We took this as a matter of routine – the way we treat friends on returning from an outstation trip. But Shekhawat had other ideas.

Naseem Khan (l) and Geeta Latte
check Shekhawat's calendar

He wanted to pass this off as his birthday treat – literally killing two birds with one stone. When Nahid Khan sternly reminded him that his birthday treat was still pending, did Shekhawat realise that those pedas and barfis would not suffice. He would have to pay a far heavier price for being born “more than 80 years ago”. He discreetly asked for his birthday calendar, hoping to make good his escape from having to host a lavish birthday treat.
But with Bijoy Gupta around, can there be any escape? The two bosom pals were meeting today for the first time since Shekhawat’s return from Rajasthan (Gupta was hitherto down with viral fever) and there was obviously much catching up to do. And both being complete compendiums of mischief, things did not stop with only the birthday treat.
Gupta was particularly concerned about Shekhawat’s health “after a hail storm spreading an incurable viral epidemic hit Rajasthan”. He wanted to know if it were true that only human males had been affected? Shekhawat’s reply can well be imagined!
After a long time we got to see the two friends engage in light-hearted banter, bearing no malice towards anyone. This is something extraordinary the very lucky are able to celebrate. Significantly, their birthdays set them apart by three days only. We wish them yet again a long life, good health and abundant happiness.

Bihari Milwani:
Shekhawat-ji is well advised to give his birthday party immediately i.e. before the Ramazan month starts. Otherwise his favourite saalis will not be able to take part in the celebrations.