Badmaash Company

The post-exercise ‘jokes session’ has now become a highpoint of our morning engagement in the Garden. Santosh Tyagi (below, left), a veteran of this daily ritual, usually takes charge of the proceedings and in her absence, Kishor Babani (below, right) has had to fill in. These days they divide time between themselves while unleashing a volley of rib-ticklers, double entendres and innuendoes, one more devastating than the other.
However, little known to many, jokes assume a lurid colour just outside the Garden gate where Kishor-bhai, Bose, Dilip Babani and Harish Wadhwa gather for cutting chai. They constitute the 'Badmaash Company' (above, right). The kind of risqué jokes exchanged between them cannot be narrated in polite company. But even to strangers, who stop by to overhear them, it is explosive stuff. As Kishor-bhai puts it: “Inside, we have sober jokes. Outside the Garden, we have our jokes.”
Nevertheless, three lady members (identities protected for obvious reasons) had the taste of a BC joke this morning: Santa came out of hospital, where he spotted Banta. Banta asked him what he was doing there. “I was called in for a blood test and the doctor cut off my little finger,” Santa said. Banta started to cry. “Abey, why are you crying?” Santa asked. “I have been called for a urine test,” Banta replied, sobbing inconsolably.
Inside the Garden, Kishor-bhai’s humour is comparatively staid and restrained: At a job interview, a young man was asked his caste. His reply: “Pehle Singh the, phir huey Rajput, Ab Darzi… Aage, mummy ki marzi!” Or sample this: Man on horseback jumps traffic signal. Cops catch up with him after a chase. Man tells them: “Poonch utha, ab number likh!” Or take this gem: Jailer tells Santa, “Kal savere saat baje tumhari phansi hogi.” Santa laughs, “Bachh gaye, meri aankh nau baje khulti hai!”
In contrast, Santosh-ji's jokes are typically pedantic, but narrated with dead pan seriousness: Mother instructs son to call her “didi” in a party. In the party he sees his father coming. “Didi,” he tells his mother, “Woh dekhiye, aapke bhaiyya aa rahe hain!” Or the one where a boy insists upon buying firecrackers during Diwali from a girls’ hostel, all because he had heard his dad say, “Yahaan bahut sari pataakey aur phool-jhadiyan hain”.
At times, other members join in with supplements – like this one from Nahid Khan: “Main mar jaaoongi toh tum kya karoge?” wife asks husband. He replies: "Main bhi mar jaaoonga.” Wife asks, “Arre, kyun?” Husband: “Itni khushi bardaasht nahin hogi!” Or take the one narrated by Bhaswati Bose: Sardar goes to buy national flag on Republic Day. Shopkeeper shows him a flag. Sardar insists: “Issmey aur colour dikhaiye!” Shopkeeper faints.
Regretfully, the jokes of Badmaash Company cannot be recounted here.
Harish Wadhwa says:
1. Blog Monster, you forgot to mention the fourth member and ‘sutradhar’ of the Badmaash Company -- a person called Bose Babu. He is the true culprit for triggering the laughter session outside the Garden. By the way, I cannot stop smiling, even though I am alone, as I recall the jokes.
2. Who can forget the famous joke of Santosh-ji? Bengali goes to a Doc: "Potli-potli..." Oh God! I can't even write a joke now, as I can't stop laughing.
3. Kishor-bhai, followed by Dilip-bhai... Kya collection hai! Need to spend an evening with you people.
--Harish
Dilip Babani says:
Jokes make us all laugh without spending money. But all people cannot tell a joke. Only the very intelligent are able to crack jokes in a manner that people understand and enjoy. Kishor-bhai translates his jokes from English to Hindi and jots them down daily so that we are able to get fresh, readymade jokes from him. Thanks a lot, Kishor-bhai, for the new jokes you give us every morning.
--Dilip