Back to School?

Morning class in progress

The blackboard may be missing. And so is the cane in the headmaster’s hand. But his stentorian voice is loud and clear while he picks on everyone for every little lapse: “Shukla-ji, why can’t you keep pace with others?” “Tara Chand-ji, that is not how you should roll your arms!” “Razia-ji, slow down, you are going too fast.” “Nafisa-ji, where is your cap?” And occasionally, there are kind words of encouragement: “Shabaash!” “Keep it up!” “Very good!”
Ever since he chipped his shoulder blade in an autorickshaw accident, Srichand Arora has come to be our headmaster by default. He does not miss a day. With arm in sling, he sits legs stretched on his white plastic throne at one end of the exercise ring, lording and barking orders.

'Headmaster' Arora

Nothing escapes his hawk-like eye. Even the ‘teacher’ conducting the exercises is not spared. So when an absent-minded Razia Khan today missed a repeat round of an exercise in reverse, he promptly pounced and corrected her.
Before long, the ‘neck rotation exercise' turned into a heated debate with Arora noticing that many ladies had altogether stopped doing the exercise. Nafisa Sayyad said she felt giddy and just wouldn't do it. Khatoon Baig said she felt “uncomfortable rolling the head like that” for no reason. Ramila Mistry explained that a yoga guru advised her against it. Monthi Serrao argued it is bad for spondilysis. “On the contrary, it cures spondilysis,” countered Arora. “None of us ever had a neck problem doing this exercise.”
The terror tactics notwithstanding, this is one man who is much adored and admired for his matter-of-fact bluntness, devil-may-care attitude, razor-sharp wit and repartees, a magnanimous sense of fellow-feeling and most important, ability to laugh at himself. Every morning he manufactures a story on how he 'managed to break' his arm – from having suffered a nasty fall, to getting beaten up by unidentified goons, his effort at gaining public sympathy, to trying to make an off-beat fashion statement… but never revealing the truth. This morning when his small plastic throne got stuck to his big backside, he made a spectacle of himself, struggling like a child till Arun Patil could extricate him.
A person so vulnerable can mean no ill to anyone. So even when he sits out there gallantly terrorizing us, we know he does it for our own good. But isn’t that what headmasters are meant to do?