Insider Joke

Ram Shankar Shukla

Ram Shankar Shukla came in today sounding exactly like Amitabh Bachchan. Tall as he is, this elderly gent (also from U.P.) had contracted a nasty cold and sore throat which turned his voice into a deep baritone – much like that of the movie megastar. While we consoled him with flattering words, suggesting that his was a voice actors would die for and that he should better become a dubbing artiste now, Shukla was brought firmly to terra firma the moment Shekhawat entered the Garden.
Addressing him as ‘Qutub Minar-ji’, Shekhawat wanted to know what he had done during the weekend. Shukla could just about open his mouth when Shekhawat sprang back, clapping in glee. “Bus, bus… you don’t have to say any more. I have understood. You must have gone to one of your gurukuls. How is Shilpi Devi?” Seeing Shekhawat so delighted, Shukla sportingly played along.
Now, this is somewhat an insider joke that has become progressively public.

Nahid Khan brings blessings from Ajmer Sharif Dargah

Shukla happens to run a chain of coaching institutes around Mumbai for under-privileged students, which he describes as “gurukuls”. But Shekhawat insists on calling them “ashrams” – as in Asaram Bapu’s ashram. To drive home his point, he’d deliberately mention the name of the infamous female aide of the self-styled godman charged with a sex scandal. So much so that when he spotted a broken ladies’ hairclip lying near Shukla’s feet during the exercises, Shekhawat just could not hold himself. Shukla knew what was coming and nervously eyed the hairclip, refusing to pick it up or kick it away. Shekhwat interrupted the exercises, picked up the hairclip with great flourish and to everybody’s amusement, tried to “return Shilpi Devi’s belonging” to Shukla. The latter simply backed away, raising both his hands as high as he could, as though fearing the clip would bite him any moment.
Nahid Khan was also there this morning, looking tired and pale from a trip to Ajmer. Nevertheless, she conducted the exercises and in the end, distributed rewdi and chana from the shrine of 12th century sufi saint, Moinuddin Chisti.

Day 1138

Pic of the Week

WHOOO... NOW WHERE DID THIS ONE COME FROM!?!

The person in this photograph has created his own visual style. Let it be unique and yet identifiable -- something that has come from the Big Laaf family. --Jagmohan Papneja

Cigar bujhade bhaiya, badan main barhi aag hai...वाह क़या लगते हो। छिपालो बदन। कहीं किसी की नज़र ना लगे! --Srichand Arora

Who is this pygmy from Congo? --Yusuf Rassiwala

Runaway Comedy

Uproarious laughter shatters the early morning air

Monthi Serrao distributes special halwa cubes

Like every morning, rip-roaring laughter rang through the Garden -- but with a difference. This time the laughter was genuine, not forced. It went out in waves, one after another, punctuated by clapping and singing till everyone went red in the face, doubling up in tears. It was sheer madness.
From where Santosh Tyagi had dug out those jokes, she alone knows. They were scribbled on paper and in a way it was good she did not have her spectacles today. Arun Patil offered to help, but instead of reading, he chose to sing them out aloud. For, they were the opening lines of popular Hindi film songs which we knew and were only too eager to lend our voices to. What we did not know was that hidden in the lyrics was a clue to an ailment, mostly unmentionable, which was revealed at the end of each chorus. And this hidden meaning was what sent everyone in splits.
So here was a situation where Arun, paper in hand, was leading each number with all others singing with him lustily, only to be told the meaning of the song when it was over. Just five examples:
• ‘Aaj kal paon zameen par nahin padte mere…’ (CORN ON FEET)
• ‘Bidi jalaile, jigar se piya / Jigar ma badi aag hai...’ (ACIDITY)
• ‘Chhupana bhi nahi aata / Jatana bhi nahi aata…’ (PILES)
• ‘Suhani raat dhal chuki / Na jaane tum kab aayoge…’ (CONSTIPATION)
• ‘Tip-tip barsa pani / Pani mein aag laga de…’ (URINARY INFECTION)
Arun could have gone on and on, but by the 12th number we were all exhausted laughing our guts out. Some actually pleaded with him to stop and yet, were not leaving the place. Ultimately, Monthi Serrao had to intervene with a box of colorful halwa cubes, a special Mangalore delicacy, which she had saved for us. It was a fitting finale to a very enjoyable and memorable morning.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Yaar, Arun lagte toh nahin, par ho Chhupe Rustom. Badmashon de naal rehkar erhi badmashiyan hi sikhoge!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Bimari aur gaano ka rishta aapne jora hai, usse Mogambo khush hua!!! Very good diagnosis.

Happy Friday

'Happy Man' Shekhawat

The legend of Happy Friday revisited us today. It is rooted in the belief that on Thursdays we must stay ‘pure’, observe strict abstinence and generally, be the good guy around. Once past the midnight hour, you may revert to being your normal self.
So there’s this good man, a wonderful soul with no vice, except for one weakness – whiskey. He loves the drink so much that before retiring to bed, he must have his favorite tipple. Else, he cannot sleep. On Thursday nights, he waits anxiously for the clock to strike 12 and only after a quick swig would he curl up in bed. Inevitably, he'd be late to rise on Friday, late for exercises, late for everything.
But he’s been a happy man... till disaster struck with a heart seizure. He recovered and stayed off drinks. He became miserable.

Relaxed 'Happy Friday' morning...

Every night, he rearranged the bottles by his bedside and staring at them longingly in the darkness, he would doze off.

Srichand Arora says 'Hi'!

On Friday mornings, he would wake up on time and like any other day, be punctual for the morning exercises.
Today he was late – very late. “What could I do?” Shekhawat blurted out. “Last night I woke up at 1:00 a.m. and after that, I couldn’t get sleep. So I took out a glass, poured myself a drink and after a solid swill, I got my sleep back. Naturally, I had to wake up late!”
Shekhawat is a happy man now. And surely, we are back to Happy Fridays again.
Meanwhile, here’s a message from Singapore, which is self-explanatory: “Hi there, everybody! All is fine here. I thought of informing you about my daily routine in Singapore. I get up at 5:30 a.m. and go out for our morning walk / laughter and physical exercises at the beach which is across the house -- hardly five minutes underpass walk. We come back at 8:45 and after a little rest, settle for the newspaper and a cup of tea. Then around 10:00, bathe and breakfast. At 11:30, I go down with a book and sunbathe by the poolside for about 20/30 minutes. Then it is swimming time. Back home before 1:00 and rest. After lunch, nap toh banta hai naa yaaron. Shyam ko we are either home or out with children and grand children. Saturdays are for dinner out and Sundays, lunch out. All shopping is kept pending for Saturday and Sunday." –Srichand Arora
Some addictions are indeed hard to break -- no matter how and where you are. Staying connected to the Club is one.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Shekhawat-ji does not have a drinking problem... except for when he cannot get a drink!

New 'Teacher'

IN FULL FLOW: Arun Patil gleefully conducts today's exercises 

Arun Patil today paid the price for protesting too much. He had just about entered the Garden, when Razia Khan directed him to stand in the middle and conduct the exercises. He had no escape. Sitaram Hivarkar had also instructed him yesterday (see post) to take charge since Arun was finding too many faults in the manner the exercises were being conducted.
Surprisingly, for a fresher, Arun turned out to be flawless. He took to his new role like a fish takes to water – pacing each exercise evenly, getting the sequence pitch perfect, introducing appropriate pauses… not fumbling once and never goofing up. The only complaint anyone could have had was that he was pushing through a little faster than what we are accustomed to. In fact, at one point Khatoon Baig had to request him to slow down a bit as she was running out of breath.

Jagmohan Papneja with son's article

At another point, Jagmohan Papneja corrected him when he gave a yogic name for the penultimate stretching exercise. Otherwise, by and large, the session was wrapped up to everyone's satisfaction without event or delay.
Jagmohan had a proud moment to share today when he informed about an article by his son, Umang Papneja published in The Times of India (Mumbai edition) the day before yesterday. The piece, ‘If You Fail to Plan, You Are Planning to Fail’ is an advisory on smart investing, understanding market trends and risk factors and the common errors of commission and omission investors commit. Umang is a finance whiz working as chief investment officer with India Infoline Private Wealth.
On his part, Hari Singh Shekhawat was to make the announcement on an excursion to Matheran, a popular hill-station close to Mumbai. It would be a weekend getaway (with overnight stay) scheduled for November 9 and 10, 2013 (Saturday and Sunday). Arun has been instructed to work out the logistics and if needed, book hotel rooms for 30 people right away. Shekhawat has offered to put the requisite booking amount in advance.
Jagmohan Papneja:
As the new teacher, Arun-ji's success was because of his gracefully accepting the challenge thrown at him yesterday. He has proved that nothing is impossible when attempted with confidence.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Arun dear, Congrats! Keep it up!!!

Follow the Leader

PUNCHING BAG: What is LEFT and who is RIGHT?

In any concerted group activity, to follow the leader is a given. You never question your leader – unless of course, you belong to the Big Laaf Club of Bombay. Here, the leader is the person who conducts the exercises for the morning, but eventually becomes fair game to a swirl of jokes and jibes from all directions, until s/he is rendered thoroughly confused and dysfunctional.
That’s how we like it. We enjoy riddling our ‘leaders’ and if Razia Khan were to be in the middle (as it was today), our day is made. Regardless of whether she is in the right or wrong, we do not want to follow her because she is our favorite punching bag. And when she pauses between exercises to pull up someone or perhaps rearrange her clothes, even bounce off an Urdu couplet, the fun really begins. She does not realize that the rhythm of exercising has been broken and with some like Arun Patil constantly gunning for her, all hell breaks loose. We like that also.
Today, she got into an altercation with Arun (who else?) over what turning the head left to right meant. In Arun’s eyes, it was right-to-left because they were facing each other. All those behind her in the circle had no difficulty interpreting her command, but Arun had successfully confused the others facing Razia. Again, when it came to clockwise and anti-clockwise movement of the waist, confusion resurfaced.

Late BAPU RANE

Razia’s clockwise action was anti-clockwise in Arun’s eyes and he accused her of misleading everyone. Something as basic as this turned into a major hullaballoo, till Sitaram Hivarkar intervened. “She is right," he pronounced. "Tomorrow Patil will stand in the middle and conduct the exercises.”
The fun was not over yet. Sulking, Arun continued to exercise and then made a disparaging remark (unprintable) about “gobar (cow dung) falling in the middle…” Razia overheard gobar as “Grover falling” and ran up to Arun to confirm. Arun repeated “gobar”, but she insisted he had said Grover and demanded why he was now bent upon picking on a peaceful person like Ved Prakash Grover. Arun simply gave up.
In between this comedy of errors, Shekhawat unwittingly made a heartwarming statement. It has been his habit to punctuate the exercises with a clarion call, “Rane ready!?!” Bapu Rane is no more, but Shekhawat persists with the practice. Today, when he shouted, “Rane, ready!” some ladies remarked that it may be not proper to awaken a dead man’s soul and we could even be disturbing him. Shekhawat retorted: “So long as this Club exists, Rane ready rahega. Rane will be ‘ready’ every morning for us.”
What a wonderful way to remember a dear, departed friend!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Sometimes joy can be the source of your sabre-rattling. And sometimes sabre-rattling can be the source of your joy. This is what we have been watching for quite some time in our Club and it was apparent very much today especially.

Stop-gap Picnic

RAIN-BATHED GARDEN: Shades of green, upon green, upon green...

Another dark and wet morning with only seven-and-half people, two sad crows and a few earthworms in attendance. Most of the ladies – including regulars like Santosh Tyagi, Monthi Serrao and Geeta Sardana – stayed away.
But Hari Singh Shekhawat was there. Possessed by the spirits of Bangkok and Pattaya, he came in clutching an umbrella, struggling against raging winds and relentless rain, only to settle into his designated plastic chair at a corner.

Shekhawat weighs his options on Bangkok-Pattaya

He wasn’t much interested in exercising today. What mattered obviously were the options available to him for setting out on the mid-November tour.
Taking stock of the situation, he realized that even as mid-November (i.e. post Diwali) was non-peak season, all tour operators were out to make a killing by charging upwards of Rs27,000 per ticket. In December, the rate goes up by Rs3,000 (levied as ‘surcharge’) and post-New Year, it would revert to current levels of Rs25,000-odd.
Dubai did not offer much comfort as the rates for a three-day holiday package were upwards of Rs31,000 and done independently, return air tickets alone were Rs16,000-plus.

Nahid Khan

The other option about Kerala that Srichand Arora had given yesterday (see post) would cost Rs12,000 by air and Rs4,000 by train (Duronto Express) for senior citizens on an average. Lodging, local travel, etc. will cost extra. And going by a circular of Central Railway, the idea of booking a separate coach for ourselves looked too complicated and prohibitively expensive.
In the circumstances, Shekhawat felt that it would be prudent not to rush into Bangkok-Pattaya right now and instead, push the trip by a couple of months (i.e. to mid-January 2014) to avail of the off-season benefits. Also, all those without passports would have ample time to get their travel documents in order. In the interim, a local excursion could be organized once Arora is back from Singapore.
Arun Patil suggested Matheran while Shekhawat had in mind a place in Gujarat which had cable cars as a tourist attraction. Both of them would compare the costs and logistics involved and the more convenient option will be taken. Most likely, this ‘stop-gap picnic’ would be scheduled after Dussehra in mid-October, when Shekhawat returns from a visit to his village temple in Rajasthan.
Meanwhile, the mystery behind Nahid Khan’s disappearance has been resolved. She is the most regular lady for the exercises and her absence for the past three days had become a cause for mounting concern. Turns out she is in Ajmer and would return by the month-end.

Dubai, even Kerala

Srichand Arora

The Bangkok-Pattaya trip in mid-November is turning out to be a little ambitious. Sensing Shekhawat’s predicament, Srichand Arora today called him from Singapore just after the exercises to suggest that should the Thailand trip not work out for any reason, why not consider Dubai instead?
“Since people have made up their mind for a holiday, we must not disappoint them,” he urged. “Dubai is a good holiday destination, particularly for those keen on shopping. It would also work out cheaper than the Bangkok-Pattaya trip. Why, I would even recommend going to Kerala, so long as it fits into everyone’s budget. Once we have decided to go, we must go… wherever!”
The phone call proved to be a pep-up pill for Shekhawat, who has hitherto been in low spirits after our last tour operator backed out from the Thailand trip (see post of September 19).

Surprise treat from Geeta Sardana

Unable to identify a suitable substitute, he was fast losing hope of putting together a trip – even as negotiations are on with other agents for a good deal. Having already announced that a trip to Bangkok-Pattaya would cost around Rs25,000 per head, he is in no position to up the figure now. There lies the problem.
But now, with Arora’s call, he sees other options opening up and promptly gave instructions to check the financials. While on Dubai, he would prefer a tour package provided by a travel agency, on Kerala, he would rather do it on his own directly – to the extent of booking a rail bogie to Kochi, exclusively for the Club. “Unlike Dubai, we will not be saddled with passport and visa problems,” he explained.
He added he would make an announcement once some clarity emerges on the various options available.
Meanwhile, Geeta Sardana gave us a sweet surprise this morning by treating us to a box of luddoos. Her daughter who got married in 2011 (and to which many of us were invited) has been blessed with a baby. That makes Geeta a proud grandmother today. And the sweets were in celebration of this elevation in status and of course, her desire to share her happiness with all of us.
Kiran and Srichand Arora:
GEETA-JI, CONGRATULATIONS! SO YOU HAVE BECOME A PROUD NANI...
Jagmohan Papneja:
Geeta-ji, congratulations on becoming a grandma. May the new baby give you many happier moments.

Day 1131

Pic of the Week

Why are these two men in such a tearing hurry?

If you want to live a happy life, come regularly to our Laughter Club in Lokhandwala Garden No 4 and never chase any thing else. --Jagmohan Papneja

They are on their way to Bangkok and Pattaya. --Bhaswati Bose

Many Apologies!

Owing to

circumstances

beyond our control, 

the blog had to be 

suspended 

for a day.

Our sincere apologies

for this lapse.

–Big Laaf

Weather Cocks

Arun Patil advising Shekhawat

After torrential rains yesterday, the morning was relatively quiet, but dark and gloomy. The air was still and heavy, in anticipation of the skies opening up and another thundershower descending any moment. To quote Nahid Khan: “Not a single leaf on the tree is moving… but we are moving all the same.” And so we wrapped up the exercises without incident.
As it happens always, our mood during the exercises tends to mirror the weather. In that sense, we have become weathercocks (and weather hens). When it is bright and sunny, we automatically turn chirpy and cheerful. And when it is dark and gloomy, everybody turns quiet and lifeless, lacking the will to even respond to a forced joke. Razia Khan did a wonderful mimicry of 'lazy ladies' Sunita Jajodia and Nafisa Sayyad, who were reluctant to join the exercises today. But for Teja Singh, who clapped gleefully, nobody laughed.
Even Shekhawat, who is so upbeat about the Bangkok-Pattaya trip these days, looked unusually low today. He did not make any announcement and instead, drifted away to consult Arun Patil and Rehana Shaikh on some personal health issues. But as everybody knows, this is the proverbial lull before the storm. In a couple of days he would go all out guns blazing – collecting cash, making phone calls, accosting people midway through exercising… Life would swing back to normal.
Srichand Arora:
Shekhawat-ji, don't get upset. If this agent is not favorable, forget about him. Tu nahin aur sahi. Kehte hain na, sar salaamat joote (topi) hazaar. I am sure that by the time I'm back, you will finalize everything.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Due to global warming, the climate change is fast and having much larger impact than they ever imagined.

Micro Management

Discussions on delegation of duties

The tour operator identified for the Bangkok-Pattaya tour has backed out. He was supposed to report to Shekhawat last evening, but did not show up. Worse, he was not taking any calls. Effectively, he has lost our trust. We will now catch another operator.
The good news is that Shekhawat has come to terms with the need to focus on ‘quality’, rather than the ‘quantity’ of people he takes on the tour. Bitterness from the past tours of Goa, Kashmir and Himachal Pradesh surfaced and some names were even taken (mostly of outsiders) who should be avoided by all means. His argument of enlisting outsiders “only when there is a shortfall within the Club” did not cut any ice. Everyone insisted that however small the group, we ought to restrict it within ourselves and more so, on an overseas tour when chances cannot be taken.

Sitaram braves today's heavy downpour

In the process, members reluctant to join would come forward automatically.
Finally, after detailed discussions, it was decided to leave the management of cash and overall planning to Shekhawat and the moment we enter Mumbai airport, his involvement would cease. Responsibilities will be delegated to others in advance to micro-manage various activities/ issues. This would not only streamline operations, but relieve the burden of stress on one or two persons. Moreover, it should instill a sense of equal participation and eliminate complaints of unfair dominance, favoritism and hijacking the trip. Most important, time will not be lost on wasteful activity.
The key activities to be delegated were identified as follows:
AIRPORT: Check-in, filling up immigration forms, security clearance, etc. both at Mumbai and Bangkok and customs clearance back in Mumbai (2 persons)
HOTEL: Allocation of room keys, dealing with hotel staff, room changing, etc. both at Bangkok and Pattaya (1 + 1 persons)
LOCAL TRAVEL: Sightseeing, shopping and daytime meals (1 + 1 persons) at Bangkok and Pattaya.
LIAISON: 1 person dedicated to liaise with local agent of the tour operator right from Bangkok airport and return.
EMERGENCIES: 1 person specifically for any medical contingency, accident, police case, etc. S/he will also provide every member with a SIM card from a local convenience store the moment everyone checks into the hotel.
LADIES’ MANAGEMENT: A senior member, who can ensure the compliance of ladies on meeting at pre-decided time and place, especially after shopping, leaving the hotel, etc. (VERY IMPORTANT!)
GRIEVANCE REDRESSAL: A go-to person for resolving personal problems and disputes during the trip.
Who does what would be decided by the group after the visas come through. The idea is that everybody gets to enjoy the trip and nobody feels left out, discriminated or over-stressed for any reason.

Up on Feet

Shekhawat finalises his passenger manifest

Hari Singh Shekhawat is back on his feet. Yesterday’s incident (see post) has left him with a “searing pain” in his chest; but obviously, the need to keep up the momentum for the Bangkok-Pattaya tour had brought him to the Garden this morning. By way of precaution, he did not exercise today and contained himself to finalizing the names for the tour.
So far, confirmations have been received from a dozen members, including Yusuf Rassiwala’s family, Dilip and Kajal Babani, Khatoon Baig and her brother’s family, Banoo Khan, Fehmida Khan and Zarina Khan. Others like Arun Patil, Santosh Tyagi, Lakshmi and Nahid Khan are also committed, but awaiting their passports. There are many fence-sitters as well, waiting and watching, who could, in Shekhawat’s estimate, take the contingent strength to 25-odd.
The only problem now is a revision in the rates for the tour package. Last evening, Shekhawat had a meeting with the tour operator from Eezeego Travels (see post of September 14) who, it seems, has raised the charges per head to Rs31,000 (from Rs25,000-odd) to accommodate demands of members like daily dinner and specific sights. For example, a trip to the ‘floating market’ would entail an additional INR3,500 because it is not part of the standard city tour itinerary. The nearest floating market from Bangkok is 136km away and involves an extra full-day tour, covered partly by boat.
Still, the operator has been told to stick to his original offer, failing which we might have to switch to a more competitive operator. He is supposed to get back to Shekhawat this evening.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Shekhawat-ji's intent is serious. He is certainly competent and has the economic understanding to get the best deal for the Bangkok-Pattaya tour.

Capflagration

Santosh Tyagi

MOUNTING STRESS: Shekhawat tries to explain

Nobody had ever seen Shekhawat so agitated. He flared up, began shouting, broke into expletives, started gasping and holding his chest, sat down on a chair and took deep breaths. Water was rushed to him, while a crowd gathered around. After half an hour he regained his composure and Arun Patil dropped him home by car.
It all started with Santosh Tyagi not wearing her Club cap and Razia Khan questioning her during the exercises. Like every other day, the former just shrugged her shoulders – clearly indicating that apart from her, Geeta Sardana also wasn’t wearing the cap. Before Razia could respond, Shekhawat intervened, urging her to desist from any 'toka-toki' because wearing the cap is “not compulsory”.
“I have already announced that if anybody does not want to wear the cap, we must not insist,” he said. “Do we come here to exercise or wear a cap? Is this the military where everyone must wear caps? It is not compulsory. Cap, Cap, Cap... I am fed up!”
In between, Arun interrupted: “But there is a thing called discipline?”
By then Shekhawat’s voice started rising. With members like Ved Prakash Grover, Ruksana Khan and Ram Shankar Shukla declaring that from tomorrow nobody will wear the cap, Shekhawat lost his temper. He became increasingly incoherent and the final straw was when Razia took off her cap and kept it aside in protest. Shekhawat figured he was getting outnumbered and began shouting louder and louder, interrupting the exercises time and again. We realized we should not engage him in an argument at that stage and everyone stood silently. Sunita Jajodia even took his side and started talking about “cap ka politics”, but she too became silent when Shekhawat started panting for breath. He was trying to make a point that even though he did not agree with the ‘cap rule’, he wore it daily to the Garden.
All this while, the lady who unwittingly started it all, looked on as a mute witness. “I did not utter a word,” she insisted.
Srichand Arora:
Yeh kya ho raha hai, yaaron! Cap ka itna bada issue? Bhoolo kal ki batein, kal ki baat purani... Aaj mein jiyo aur khushi khushi laughter aur exercise karo!!!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Integrity has no need for rules. Don't miss all the fun on the issue of caps.

No Love Lost

Razia Khan

Arun Patil

Razia Khan and Arun Patil have struck a strange equation that has become a matter of much hilarity during the exercises. Like anyone who takes to the middle, Razia has been orchestrating the exercises in an orderly manner, such that we would not feel any strain and at the same time, our movements collectively bear a semblance of synchrony. She has been at this for years and nobody has had a problem so far – except for Arun. He simply resents the way Razia conducts the exercises.
So for the past one week, Arun has been picking on Razia for being varyingly too fast, too slow, erratic, forgetful, clumsy… Far from being cowed down, Razia would get back at him in equal measure, saying that there is no way he can be pleased because he is a prejudiced man. Things reached a head this morning when Razia declared that if Arun were to fault her any more, he shall have to stand in the middle from tomorrow and she would stage an honorable walk out.

Khatoon and Nazma extract commitments from Shekhawat

Trouble started today when Arun arrived late and Razia started to skip some exercises – particularly the repeat/ reverse numbers. Till then, she was doing fine. Clearly, Arun’s presence was a distraction and she had become so over-conscious that she began to flounder and miss out on the sequence of exercises. That was enough for Arun to go hammer and tongs after her. Since this was all very predictable, everybody burst out laughing; but neither Arun nor Razia found anything funny.
Meanwhile, Shekhawat is going all out on mobilizing numbers for the Bangkok-Pattaya tour. His pitch now is that anybody who resides in Lokandwala should be able to afford the trip. “You cannot stay in Lokhandwala and say you are short of money because you would then have already sold your flat and be staying in Nalla Sopara,” he argues. Somehow this logic has worked with people like Nazma Sayyed and Khatoon Baig. Till the other day, they were in two minds over the trip. Today, they confirmed not only about themselves, but also of members of their families joining in. In fact, most confirmations so far include family members.
Srichand Arora:
Shekhawat-ji, can you tell me who are really ready for the Thailand trip?

Day 1124

Pic of the Week

CEREMONIOUS SEND-OFF TO GANAPATI BAPPA FROM SINGAPORE

A devotee prepares to immerse an idol of the Hindu god, Ganesha into the river/ sea, symbolizing the ritual see-off of the lord on his journey to his abode in Mount Kailash.--Jagmohan Papneja

* 'Ganapati Bappa Moriya!'
* Happy Birthday, Bose Babu! --Dilip Babani

Thai Curtain Raiser

Discussions on the Bangkok-Pattaya tour programme

Jayanto Majhi, the tour operator from Eezeego Travels today dropped by on our invitation and made a presentation on the upcoming Bangkok-Pattaya tour. The China Hut was packed to capacity with many non-members also taking part in the proceedings in order to decide whether to join the trip. On his part, Shekhawat committed rustling together a 20-member group -- which could even hit 30, subject to some passports coming through.
By and large, the concerns were surprisingly, not so much about comfort or personal security during the travel, but on food. Majhi conceded to the general demand of including dinner (along with breakfast) in hotel stay. Geeta Sardana was hugely relieved when told she would be served special “Jain food” without garlic and onion – even if she were to be the only one for whom such a meal is to be prepared. Khatoon Baig was game for any food, so long as it was Indian and served inside the hotel.

Jayanto Majhi

Yusuf Rassiwala suggested that ideally we should be located close to Indian restaurants which would work out more economical than ordering from a hotel kitchen.
Shopping was another area of concern. Everyone wanted to know what items can be got cheap – be it T-shirts, mobile phones, electronic gadgets… Majhi wasn’t very helpful on this count, except for the assurance that shopaholics will not be disappointed. On Jagmohan Papneja’s request, he promised to produce a detailed programme on the 'city tours', both for Bangkok and Pattaya on Tuesday.

Celebrating another 'premature' birth

By then, he would also be ready with a firm figure on the travel budget.
And on Monday, September 30, Shekhawat would give him a complete list of members traveling and a token advance.
The issue now is to finalise all bookings at the earliest because air tickets and hotel tariff tend to shoot up as the journey date approaches. But Majhi cleared one major worry about visa and insurance for travelers aged 70-plus. He said it was a “minor problem”, but it can be “managed” with additional documentation. This sets to rest a niggling doubt in some about the chances of visa refusal (without insurance) on health grounds at the last moment.
A side-show of the morning was Bose Babu celebrating his birthday (falling tomorrow, a holiday) with a box of aflatoon and tea. This is the third birthday in succession, after Monthi Serrao’s and Harish Wadhwa’s, which was to be celebrated in advance. Ramila Mistry described it aptly as “yet another premature birth”!
Jagmohan Papneja:
You are really a unique personality, Mr Bose. You have proved that blog writing can be a fun and pleasing
experience. Wishing you a happy birthday and long life.
Bihari Milwani:
Many, many happy returns of the day.
Srichand Arora:
We all from Singapore wish you a very happy birthday. Why should all my good friends have their birthdays in October when I am away from them? Also BADMAASH COMPANY ka janam din Gandhi-ji ke mahine main?
P.S.: I don't know what went wrong with me. September is presumed October. Happy Birthday once again my dear!

Friday the 13th

WISHFUL THINKING: Boys will be boys!

Bizarre morning. Our tickets aren’t booked, the itinerary isn’t decided… even the dates haven’t been fixed for the Bangkok-Pattaya tour and yet, castles are being built in the air. An elderly gent wanted to know what usually happens in massage parlours. Another instantly demanded that a ‘rate list’ be made available on the various types of Thai massages on offer. Yet another requested that the hotels we are lodged in should be located close to massage parlours so that it would involve less walking/ commuting. A related request was to check if the hotels have in-house massage facilities.
Shekhawat surprisingly turned out to be a walking-talking encyclopedia on these matters and warned the men not to do anything foolish to prove their 'machismo'. Drawing upon experience from his Navy days, he advised them not to venture into ‘a house of sin’ all alone and enacted how to rush into the parlour in a group when nobody was looking.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Harish

And then there were cock and bull stories of techniques and positions and costs involved, etc. by some who claimed to have seen it, done it. Soon we realized those accounts were nothing but wishful thinking and that let alone visit a parlour, NOBODY, not even the biggest bragger among us had the moral courage to handle a massage girl, even if one of them were to walk right up and plonk herself on his lap.
But there were serious concerns as well. What happens in the event of a medical emergency? Would insurance take care of missing baggage as well? How would we apply for visa here? Would special requests like non-smoking rooms and vegetarian meals be taken care of? How to handle a police situation? Who is responsible if someone goes missing? To address these queries, Shekhawat announced that the tour operator for this trip will be briefing us tomorrow in the Garden at 8:00 a.m. and everybody is free to obtain any clarification from him directly.
Today was Harish Wadhwa’s birthday also. He was present during the exercises, but did not distribute any sweets. Still, we raised an extra laugh and did our song-and-dance number wishing him the best on this special day – Friday, the Thirteenth. Could be this was the real reason why he chose to celebrate yesterday!
Harish Wadhwa:
This badmaash was born on Friday the 13th. No wonder I am an active member of that group. Thanks once again, my brethren, for that extra laugh and the blessings.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Pattaya is a great destination for families and kids because of all the fun things to see and DO.
Srichand Arora:
Harish-ji, we from Singapore wish you a very happy birthday. Sorry for this belated wish. I was more occupied with Ganesh-ji. MAY LORD GANESH GIVE YOU A VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY LIFE AHEAD.

Maha Thrilled!

Shekhawat's briefing on the Bangkok-Pattawah tour 

Shekhawat is thrilled to bits. Out of the blue, two tour operators have cropped up, offering him competitive rates in the region of Rs25,000 per head for a five-day trip to Bangkok-Pattaya (see post of September 10). The package covers to-and-fro air fare, four-night hotel stay (with breakfast), local travel, the usual sights like Alcazar Show, Coral Island trip, the Gold Buddha of Wat Traimit etc., visa assistance, travel insurance and the works.
The only rider is that this trip has to be scheduled after Diwali and before the Christmas holidays if we are to avail of the ‘off-season package’.
“With this kind of a deal, we are always in season!” exclaimed Yusuf Rassiwala, straightaway booking two tickets. Added Santosh Tyagi: “I am bringing my share of money tomorrow, but you will have to organize my passport in two months. Similar requests followed from Nahid Khan, Lakshmi and others. ”

Harish celebrates his birthday

On a rough count, Shekhawat listed “25 confirmed bookings” which included eight couples. Still, he went around excitedly asking all and sundry to join the tour without caring a whit about the exercises in session. The sight of him repeatedly breaking out to “pataao people for Patawah” (to quote Nahid) became a cause for constant amusement, even as time and again Yusuf sounded a warning: “Let us not invite outsiders, people we do not know or we are not comfortable with...”

Monthi Serrao

But who cared! Watching Shekhawat’s antics and consequent disruptions in the exercises, Arun Patil could not help remarking that it was all a “Patawah ka panga”. But it must also be said that nobody had seen Shekhawat so super-excited and happy in a very long time. His excitement percolated through the group and this euphoria should well take him through whatever discomfort he had been experiencing after his recent heart surgery.
Meanwhile, Harish Wadhwa ushered in his birthday with luddoos a day in advance, in keeping with his promise to Monthi Serrao. She is leaving for Mangalore tonight and clearly, he has taken a leaf out of her book (see post of September 6). Some people manage to extract the best out of others. Monthi is one such person. Her innate goodness has rubbed off on Harish.
We wish Monthi a safe and happy trip to Mangalore and back.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Warm and pleasant wishes to a loving, endearing, dependable, jovial and above all, a caring person like Harish-ji. You are a true friend in every possible way. Have a Happy Birthday.
Harish Wadhwa:
Thank you so much, my dear friends, to make the day special. Especially Papneja-ji for showering such good words for me. Not too sure if I actually deserve them. Thanks once again.

Rapid Fire

How fast is too fast?

New spins to the Bangkok-Pattaya trip?

After conducting exercises for five years, Razia Khan is suddenly at her wits’ end. Jagmohan Papneja (among others) finds her inexorably slow. Sitaram Hivarkar and a few old-timers find her too fast and want her to slow down. Arch rival Nahid Khan isn’t quite sure and confuses Razia even more by alternately praising and putting her down. Inevitably, Razia is left wondering ‘how fast is too fast’ and ‘how slow is too slow’.
But then, this lady is nobody’s fool. She knows exactly how to pace the exercises to suit whom and when. So today, when she saw Khatoon Baig coming, she abruptly stepped up the pace, knowing well that the latter would run out of breath and protest. Sure enough, she began cribbing: “Why is she going so fast?” That was not all. Razia kept issuing instructions in rapid fire -- “Now neck up, neck down, then left, then right, then clockwise, anti-clockwise…” all without a pause as if there’s no tomorrow. Poor Khatoon, she soon gave up and stood frozen to the ground!
Such things happen with group dynamics. There’s no way the pace of exercises can be regulated and sooner than later, we get to recognize and adapt to every instructor’s style. Nahid, being the longest running and consistent ‘teacher’, has set some sort of a benchmark and everyone else is regarded as ‘faster’ or ‘slower’ than her. Yusuf Rassiwala, for instance, is taken to be a slow coach while Ramila Mistry is seen as an express train. But independently, everyone is good in his/her own way and should anyone have any complaint, it is purely for entertainment.
Incidentally, Ramila gave a new spin to the Bangkok-Pattaya tour (yesterday’s post) by informing that a travel agent she knew is offering one free ticket for every 20 bookings from the Club. Well, Thomas Cook is known to offer one free ticket with every group booking of five. With Shekhawat targeting a group of 30, we should end up with at least half-a-dozen complimentary tickets. But at what price, that is the question.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Is exercising fast better or is slow stronger? Develop a strong mental attitude for slow and steady exercise. This will be easy for everyone.

First Phoren Tour

Shekhawat consulting on Bangkok tour

Shekhawat’s plans for a Bangkok-Pattaya trip are fast firming up. The dates he is considering are November 15 to 22, 2013 and according to back-of-the-envelope calculations, the 7 day/ 6 night tour should cost in the region of Rs50,000 per head. This covers airfare to and fro, hotel stay (including breakfast), visa and travel insurance, but not local travel and food.
It does not also include the element of group discounts, possibility of rupee stabilizing against the dollar and the fact, most members would prefer a 6 day/ 5 night tour – in which case the costs should drop substantially.
But that is not what bothers Shekhawat at the moment. He is worried about the number of members holding valid passports and every time the question is raised with someone, he draws a blank.

Santosh has brought Agra's famous pethas 

He is trying his best to reason out that the passport will be required for “travelling to Bang Kong-Pattawah”, only to have Ved Prakash Grover interrupting him, “Bang Kong nahin, Bangkok… Cock!” But the “cock” isn’t simply registering and as for Pattawah, everyone has given up. We all understand Bang Kong and Pattawah by now.
Meanwhile, Jagmohan Papneja has suggested checking with tour operators like Kesari Travels

Monthi has blessings of Mt Mary, Bandra

("who are said to charge reasonably”) as they assume full responsibility for the entire trip, right from booking airline tickets and obtaining visa to fixing hotel stay, local travel and meals. This is a good idea, given Shekhawat’s delicate health and the inexperience of members travelling unescorted on foreign soil. Should an emergency arise, they would at least have the tour operator to fall back on.
The other development of the day was Santosh Tyagi’s return after more than a month in Delhi and she had a box of pethas from Agra to treat us with. Monthi Serrao, in turn had brought a holy offering (of roasted gram) from Mount Mary Basilica, Bandra and then there was someone distributing chocolate bars in the Garden as a birthday treat. Trouble is it has become difficult to keep track of the eatables distributed every day after the exercises – let alone consume them.
Today, for instance, Blog Monster returned with a loot of two luddoos, one petha, a chocolate bar, two balushahis and a fistful of chana spilling out of his pockets. Who gave what he is still trying to figure out. Clearly, we are now caught in a problem of plenty.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Today Shekhawat-ji took the first step at putting his plan into action and ensuring that his vision and mission achieve their target. It proves one thing: A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Ganesh Chaturthi 2013

Happy GANESH CHATURTHI!

A new dawn. The beginning of a new week. More significantly, Ganesh Chaturthi, the beginning of ten-day festivities nation-wide in celebration of the elephant-headed deity – the harbinger of all good, the remover of all obstacles, the god of all auspicious beginnings…
Sardar Teja Singh Bhambra began a new inning in the Club today with a boxful of rich Bikaneri barfi for all at the Garden.

GENEROSITY PERSONIFIED: Teja Singh offers barfis to all

He had returned from a month-long visit to Faridabad, his hometown and was so generous with his offering that many on the walking track were simply taken aback when he stopped them midstride with those sweets. Some picked up two or three pieces together, unable to resist the temptation. And it all started with Nahid Khan, gamely (if not shamelessly) asking what he had brought in his bag this morning. “Bikaniri barfi laya ji,” was his reply.
If this should be a happy augury (as is commonly believed), well, we could be in for more sweets and sweets and sweets… in times to come. And the bonhomie and merry making that usually accompany such celebrations will allay all concerns of diabetes and rising blood sugar levels. We raised an extra laugh for Monthi Serrao’s birthday yesterday and for the first time, punctuated each round of our exercises with a full-throated chorus of “Ganapati Bappa-Moriya”!
Indeed, Happy Ganesh Chaturthi everyone.
Jagmohan Papneja:
May Lord Ganesh give you a promise for every care, an answer to your prayer. Wish you all a happy Ganesh Chaturthi.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Teja Singh-ji, welcome back. Please don't forget my share of Bikaneri sweets. I am last in the queue. But that doesn't mean I don't need them. Please keep a little for me when I get back.

Day 1117

Pic of the Week

FOR THE RECORD, CAN ANYBODY SAY WHERE WAS THIS PHOTO TAKEN?

This is our favorite place for celebrating Eid -- at Yusuf Rassiwala's Emirates Palace. --Jagmohan Papneja

This was at Yusuf-bhai's Eid party in his building last month when everybody had a gala time -- singing, dancing and gorging on good food. --Bhaswati Bose

Umbilical Connect

Arora meets 'n' greets before catching his Singapore flight

For many of us, visiting the Garden every morning is very simply, a habit that grows. For several others it is an addiction – a daily fix they cannot be done without. And for quite a few, it is the be-all and end-all of existence. Their bonding with the Club is almost umbilical.
Take Srichand Arora, for example. Yesterday he said his goodbyes as he would be away for a month at Singapore where he would be celebrating the Ganapati festival with his son’s family.

Hari Singh Shekhawat

We knew that his flight was this morning at 11:40 and accordingly, he had to check-in at the airport before 9:00 a.m. It meant he would have to leave home by 8:00 a.m. and so, much as he would want to, visiting the Garden would be cutting things too fine.
Now, who could imagine that he would still take that risk and show up, all suited-booted, just to say ‘hello’ to everyone and leave within minutes?

Tara Chand Seth

He did precisely that while we were winding up our exercises and was gone as suddenly as he came. He risked missing his flight, but needed to see us before leaving!
That the magnetic pull of the Garden is just as compelling for Hari Singh Shekhawat is also well known. As his wife says, uthtey-baithtey, sotey-jaagtey he is preoccupied with Club affairs and more so, when he has a picnic to organise.

Kiran Makharia

Nothing else in the universe matters to him then. Like a man possessed, he immerses himself in the job at hand... all for sweet love towards the Club.
And what would you say of Tara Chand Seth, who divides time between his two sons in Delhi and Mumbai? At present he is in Delhi, but every second or third day he would call up from there to check “What’s happening?” It is not as though he is idle because he is in the thick of a wedding in the family and as he mentioned today, there is a medical follow-up also scheduled. Still he needs to be updated about a Club more than a thousand kilometres away.
Even for Kiran Makharia, being away from the Club for almost a month is turning her restless. On August 16, her birthday (see post), she fell and sprained her hand in the Garden, which has since rendered her home-bound. She cannot take her car out as the hand is still under plaster. But she too wants to be updated. Now, whoever expects that someone who appears so casual about the exercises and has been a habitual late-comer can also be so attached to the Club?
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Reached Singapore and am enjoying with my children and grandchildren. Papneja-ji, when all the committee members sign the MOA, please hand over documents to Mr Bose or Mr Harish for further action.
Jagmohan Papneja:
It is our inner sense of bonding that attracts us to the Garden. Joining the Big Laaf family comes out of respect and to compliment one another in life. And Arora-ji, your instructions are noted and will do the needful.
Srichand Arora (from Singapore):
Thanks Papneja-ji for being so generous. But please believe me, it's my humble request and not instructions.

Advance Treat

Monthi Serrao celebrates with cakes and matthi

In deference to Srichand Arora’s wishes, Monthi Serrao advanced her birthday celebration by a couple of days this morning. In any case, her birthday (September 8) falls on Sunday, an undeclared holiday for us and she had the option of celebrating either on Saturday (i.e. tomorrow) or on Monday (i.e. September 9). But when Arora complained like a little brat that he would be leaving for Singapore tomorrow and nobody was giving him a treat, Monthi decided that he should not be deprived.
In the bargain, we all got to feast on an assortment of cakes (including the eggless variety) and pastries and matthi this morning – even as nobody wished her.

Srichand Arora leaves for Singapore

Monthi insisted that the wishes and ceremony could come on Monday, by which time she should have been born. As of now, we were to believe that she was two days away from her birth! Still, for all the goodies she so generously fed us, the blog records the gratitude of all members and wishes her the very best on her birthday in advance.
Meanwhile, Shekhawat got cracking on his long-promised Bangkok-Pattaya tour and asked all those interested in going to be ready with their passports at the earliest. He said he would like to schedule the trip in two months (around November-December) when off-season discounts would be available on flight tickets and hotel bookings.
While some like Khatoon Baig extracted a promise that he would not back out this time, others like Monthi and Geeta Sardana urged him to shift his sights to some other foreign destination as they had already visited Thailand earlier. Most others were non-committal and chose to wait and watch.
Shekhawat also announced that a fairly decent amount had been collected from membership subscriptions and it was now time to take a collective call on what to do with the money. The general consensus was to invest the money in a fixed deposit account (which would fetch a higher rate of interest in the bank) for use on a rainy day in future.
Jagmohan Papneja:
People with good intentions use words to express themselves. People, who actually care, use their action instead. This is what Mrs Monthi Serrao proved by celebrating her birthday in advance. She definitely deserves the best and happiest birthday wishes in advance.
Srichand Arora:
Monthi-ji, we both wish you a very happy birthday. And thanks a lot for the advance treat. God bless you!