Personalised Jokes

Santosh Tyagi at her wittiest best!

Santosh Tyagi came today prepared with a joke, specifically for Shekhawat. She said that one evening, before sitting for his sundowner, Shekhawat decided to toss a coin. He told himself that if it dropped to his left, he would drink whiskey. If it dropped to his right, he would open a rum bottle. If it fell on the ground, he would settle for a beer. And if it did not fall at all, he would give up drinking for life!
That, according to Santosh, explains why Shekhawat cannot give up drinking. The coin always falls down. But Shekhawat’s reasoning has been that alcohol is the only cure he knows for all human ailments.

Ved Prakash Grover

So much so, he considers it "social work" when he prescribes alcohol even to strangers. Above all, he derives major kicks from inviting people home, just to share a peg or two with him. Today, for instance, he targeted Razia Khan for the way she kept coughing through the exercises and gave her his tried-and-tested prescription:

Tara Chand Seth

“Saari bimari ki ek hi ilaaz: doh peg chup-chaap maarne ka…”
Significantly, Santosh had a ready joke for Razia also. It seems Razia was in a bus and kept coughing, much to the annoyance of co-passengers. A kind old man gave her a tablet to swallow for instant relief. The coughing stopped. Grateful, Razia turned to the old man and asked what the pill was about. Straight faced, the man replied, “It was my shirt button!”
Sadly Ved Prakash Grover, who is a big one for Santosh’s jokes, was a little off-colour this morning. One member, who is invariably the first to arrive at the Garden and is the very heart and soul of the Club, he kept to himself, aloof and detached. It was unusual of him to be sitting all alone early morning, clutching a shoulder. Obviously, it was bothering him. But he soldiered through the exercises and in the end, admitted to getting some relief – though not complete.
Tara Chand Seth too was visibly under the weather. For the past three days (and nights), he has been continuously on the road between Pune, Mumbai and Surat without sleep. “More than sleep deprivation, my legs are giving way,” mumbled the 84-year-old. And yet, he had to show up early morning, lest he missed out on the ‘hansi-mazaak’ (fun and games) in the Garden.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Peena, lekin kam/ Khushi ho ya gam... No, no dear -- Khoob pienge ham/ Whisky ho ya rum/ Kyun ki jeene ka maza kuch toh aana chaahie/ Peene vaalo ko peene ka nasha chahiye!