New Slogan

Monthi Serrao (centre) with her admirers

We have found a new slogan: “Swasth Raho, Vyasth Raho, Hanste Raho!”
Delivered in unison three times during the exercises – first after the laughter session, second after the free-hand drill and finally, as a wrap-up on the exercises – this is meant to remind us repeatedly about the importance of ‘staying healthy, being busy and to keep laughing’ 24x7, all through life.
The credit for coining this unique slogan rests on Monthi Serrao, who probably found the earlier phrase of “Masth Raho” (in place of ‘vyasth’) redundant, if not somewhat tongue-twisting. Yusuf Rassiwala had coined that expression, only to invite a volley of mischievous alliterations like “Susth Raho”, “Bhrasht Raho”, “Boltey Raho”, “Sotey Raho”… and so on.
Vyasth Raho makes sense. As Srichand Arora put it, “When you keep yourself busy, you become automatically free from all tension. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” “A gold medal should be awarded to whoever thought of this slogan,” said an equally impressed Dilip Babani.
But Monthi, in all her simplicity, declared matter-of-factly: “Staying busy is good for health.” Clearly she had missed the profundity of her own statement – particularly where it concerns the elderly who have retired from active jobs.
In effect, we have graduated from a time when our slogan used to be “Very Good, Very Good, Hey!”

Arun Patil: On location for Rashq

...and flanked by flares on the sets

Later, that got translated into a different language every morning -- from “Bahut Achchey” to “Khoob Bhalo” to “Rumba Nalla”… and whenever it came to “Dadu Sutto” in Sindhi, Hari Singh Shekhawat would turn ecstatic. It gave him the opportunity to propound his pet passion, “Dadu Piyo, Daru Piyo, Hey!”
Meanwhile, Arun Patil has sent us a few pictures, if only to prove that he is not twiddling his thumbs on the sets of Muzaffar Ali’s Rashq. This is a period film and since it is set at a time when there were no electric lights, a lot of special lighting effects are being created by Arun. The unit is currently filming at Kishanpur Sanctuary of the Dudhwa Tiger Reserve in Lakhimpur Kheri and around May 4, he would shift back to Lucknow for another ten-day shoot. In other words, Arun will be able to join us in the Garden only after mid-May.

Irony of Life

Rousing laughter rings through the Garden

Srichand Arora did not come yesterday and probably expected to be pulled up this morning. He even volunteered to conduct the exercises. And of all the people, Nahid Khan gave him a rare compliment. “Good boy,” she said in English.
Not one to believe his own ears, Arora heard that as ‘Foot Ball’ and thought Nahid had taken a dig at him because of his girth. He pleaded that she could call him anything, “but please don’t call me a football”.
“I said Good Boy,” Nahid assured him. “Not ‘Good Boy’, but ‘Good Buddhaa’,” Ram Shankar Shukla butted in.
This time Arora heard right. Not that he was pleased, but he knew Shukla was capable of dropping a bombshell when least expected to. Some time back, he pulled up Arora for not wearing his “head ki topi” – as though a cap can be worn elsewhere. Such is his style and the only person who can square up to him is Shekhawat.

Mrs M. Shekhawat

Shekhawat in mourning

But Shekhawat did not come today. We were told that he’s been struck by a “double tragedy” as his younger brother passed away in his village yesterday. He is the same person who lost his wife (see posts of April 7 and March 24) last month and he too has succumbed to heart failure.
Shekhawat is understandably devastated. According to Nahid, he broke down and wept like a child when she met him last evening. He has to attend the last rites now but the very prospect of him making another trip to his village in peak summer has become a major cause for worry. Shekhawat is a heart patient and his wife will not allow him to go alone. Her health too is in a delicate state as she suffers from extreme weakness and spells of dizziness. But go they have to.
In was under this cloud of gloom that we tried to cheer one another – Nahid even narrating a joke that sent a rousing guffaw across the Garden. Such is life.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Shekhawat-ji, I am sorry to hear of the sudden demise of your brother (who earlier lost his wife). It must be a big shock for you. May God give you and your family the strength to overcome the situation.
Srichand Arora:
Shekahwat-ji, iss dukh ki ghadi mein hum sub aapke saath hain. Aur in case you need anyone from our group to join you to your home town (since you are both not 100% fit) please do not hesitate to tell me.

Male Majority

Lady to his left, lady to his right...

We were in the middle of our exercises when Shekhawat suddenly discovered that male members had outnumbered the females 11 to 4. “Today, the men’s banner shall fly high,” he declared.
“Don’t jump the gun,” Jagmohan Papneja cautioned. “The late-comers are yet to come.”
Before long Bihari Milwani walked in, followed by Khatoon Baig. And Kiran Makharia and Sitaram Hivarkar…
By then, Shekhawat had become fairly certain that we would end up with more men than women in the circle. In a predominantly female Club, such things do matter – at least to Shekhawat. Rarely, if ever, have men surpassed the women in numbers.
And then Ramila Mistry came in. Shekhawat turned ecstatic. “Kokila-ben kem chho!” he greeted her, completely forgetting his numbers tally.

Jagmohan Papneja gets his BP checked

“Kokila-ben namaste,” he repeated, both palms joined.
Ramila struck a Sri Krishna pose and acknowledged Shekhawat with a high pitched “namaste”.
Dilip Babani took courage and with head bowed, said politely, “Namaste Kokila-ben”, only to be rebuffed: “Kokila-ben neyyyyyi, Ramila-ben!”
So that established the power equation for the moment and Shekhawat took it one level higher. He invited Ramila to stand beside him for the exercises – a space usually reserved for Razia Khan. No one else can ever dare to step into that space. But Ramila was hardly impressed and reminded Shekhawat that she cannot be a substitute for Razia. “In that case, I will stand beside you,” he said, planting himself audaciously next to her.
And so, for the first time in 11 years, it so happened that Shekhawat did his exercises flanked by ‘ladies log’ – more significantly, Ramila Mistry to his left and Ruksana Khan to his right. His day was made.
The rest of us drew some comfort from getting our blood pressure and sugar levels checked at the Garden gate. A new stall had come up, run by a certain Chakradutt Ayurveda that offered bottled sugar-free concoctions of aloe vera, blackberry, bitter gourd, sacred basil, etc. Most people got their BP checked and walked away.

Day 1274

Pic of the Week

HISTORIC MOMENT: Celebrating democracy with inky fingies!

Jagmohan Papneja:
Cautious and careful people in the pic. They realized the importance of democracy by casting their votes.

Birthday that Wasn’t

Hari Singh Shekhawat

There was no drought. Nor was there the famine that had ravaged Rajasthan in the summer of 1944. “It was bhayankar akaal that year,” Shekhawat has led us to believe, if only to explain the birth of a baby boy in Bharija village (distt. Sikar) as an act of God. Today, 70 years later, the boy celebrated that moment with a fabulous treat in the China Hut with his wife and the entire Club clapping and cheering for him after the exercises.
Dilip Babani brought a recording of Rajasthani folk songs to which Shekhawat danced like a breeze. Earlier Fehmida Khan ‘decorated’ him with freshly plucked, beautiful white flowers and the cherry on the top came in the form of a red hibiscus from Bihari Milwani.

Royal feast in the China Hut

Srichand Arora, as usual, did the running around behind-the-scenes, organizing the eats from Jagruti while elders like Banoo Khan and Khatoon Baig blessed the birthday boy. And the rest of us shamelessly ate to our heart’s content!
The odd part was that it wasn’t Shekhawat’s birthday after all. By his service records (he was with the Indian Navy) it is tomorrow. As he says, he was ‘officially born’ on April 27, 1944. But even that is not correct. It seems at the recruitment stage, after having passed all the tests he had to undergo a medical examination. As a 16-year-old, he was horrified when the doctor ordered him to strip and join a line of similarly naked boys much older to him. In that vulnerable state and just to prove he was man enough to match the other recruits, he raised his age by four years. There was also the fear of losing the job for being under-age. “So I lied I was 20,” he narrates. “Today, I am actually 74!”
Fact of the matter is Shekhawat really does not know when he was born, or hatched, or sprouted... whatever. And so the myth of the 'bhayankar famine' prevails.

Srichand Arora:
Happy Birthday, dear Shekhawat! And many, many happy returns of the day. SWASTH RAHO - MAST RAHO - HANSTE RAHO. God bless you!
Jagmohan Papneja:
Shekhawat-ji drinks on two occasions -- when it's his birthday and when it's not. It makes no difference if he was born on April 27 or on "Bhayankar Famine day". Enjoy each day like birthday. God bless.

Garden in Neglect

Arora gets Nahid Khan to sign the joint petition

Srichand Arora today launched a well orchestrated campaign, drawing attention to the sorry state of affairs in the upkeep of our Garden. A joint petition, signed by members of the Club (and a few regulars of the walking track) urged the Celebration Club management to initiate measures for restoring the green cover on the ground, removing all litter, leveling potholes and repairing / replacing all broken benches in the Garden.
“Not only do we often have to encounter garbage littered everywhere, the ground is uneven with large bald patches, wild grass that require to be trimmed, sharp stones jutting about and potholes all around,” the petition pointed out. “These are potential hazards and can lead to serious accidents, should anyone trip and fall, or even sprain an ankle. As senior citizens visiting the garden every morning to exercise, we would request leveling of the ground -- perhaps with a layer of fresh earth and some timely attention from the gardener.”

FULLY INKED: Proof of casting vote?

The funny part was nobody was quite prepared for this unprecedented joint-petition and every time Arora approached someone for his/ her “autograph”, he had to explain himself repeatedly. Eventually what worked was when he explained that this was his new ploy to appropriate the person’s property. “By putting your signature on this paper, you would be writing off your house, car and other assets in my name,” he said earnestly. Only Nahid Khan could retort in the same vein: “This is like one pauper looting another pauper!” But at the end of one hour, Arora managed to rustle around 50 signatures on the petition.
Meanwhile, in a rare expression of self-pride, members displayed their inked finger as proof of having cast their vote yesterday. But it was not without some glitches – the most common being husband and wife registered against different addresses in Lokhandwala and Millat Nagar. Arora was shown as a 26-year-old in the voters’ list. Eventually though, everyone could exercise their franchise. And that is what matters.

Polling Day

Arora narrates his story on Aam Aadmi Party

Clapping and rejoicing on Bijoy Gupta's birthday

In an avowedly apolitical Club, there has never been any room for discussions on political parties, affiliations or ideology. But today, being polling day, many members unwittingly revealed their political bias and argued over who they would like to see voted to the next Lok Sabha.
Nahid Khan declared that she and her family have all along been Congress supporters. Shekhawat insisted on voting for the kamar (or waist) when he meant kamal (or lotus), the BJP symbol – only to change that to bow-and-arrow, the Shiv Sena symbol. Many like Monthi Serrao, Bhaswati Bose and Geeta Sardhana pitched for “the party that stands for anti-corruption” and teased others with being banished by the broom.
“Of course, jhaadu lagana is the job of women!” Shekhawat argued.
“And making tea is the job of the men,” countered Bhaswati, obliquely pointing to BJP leader Narendra Modi’s tea boy background.
In between word drifted in on Jagmohan Papneja having cast his vote first thing in the morning. Another absentee, Srichand Arora was rumored to be on polling duty somewhere at Lokhandwala Back Road, which instantly got Yusuf Rassiwala worried that he must have already picked up a quarrel there.
“I know him very well,” said Yusuf. “He will insist on inking all five fingers of the people who go there to vote and that will create a big bawaal.”
Coincidentally, Arora walked into the Garden at that very moment, sparking speculation on whether he had already been packed off from the poll centre so early. But Arora had another story to narrate – about how he had encountered Mayank Gandhi, the local Aam Aadmi candidate being massaged by a lackey for hours on end in filthy surroundings. Everybody listened amused and did not utter a word – except for Yusuf who voiced his disbelief.
The surprise of the morning was Bijoy Gupta treating the Club with chocolate bars after the exercises. We learnt it was his birthday today and led by Shekhawat, we sang and clapped for him. Gupta is nearing 70, but has kept himself remarkably fit and healthy. We wish him many more years of good health and happiness.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Today marks the culmination of yet another successful demonstration of the strength of our democracy. The credit for this goes to the Election Commission. It must be congratulated for conducting the poll peacefully.

Generation Divide

Srichand Arora

To an outsider, we would appear to be a bunch of predominantly elderly men and women on a roll. In reality also, most of us have well crossed the threshold of youth and technically, would qualify to be 'senior citizens'.
Yet, surprising as this may sound, there exists a striking generation gap within us which only we are able to recognize (if subliminally) and is invisible to all others. On the one hand, there is a carefree lot who can never be serious, are perpetually up to playing pranks and quite evidently, have forgotten to grow up. On the other hand, there are the serious and even intimidating types, self-opinionated but always held in high regard.

Cross-section of the mixed grouping

They are the classical oldies. But then again, this has nothing to do with physical age or appearance.
A prime example of the older generation would be Srichand Arora.

Yusuf Rassiwala

Nobody messes with him -- as indeed with Sitaram Hivarkar and Ved Prakash Grover and Santosh Tyagi and Harbans Kaur… Much as they are adored and admired, they are also kept at an arm’s length simply because of the way they conduct themselves. An invisible line separates them from the rest and nobody can dare to cross that line.
At the other extreme are the forever young-at-heart, as this example will amplify.

Geeta Sardana

Today, Shekhawat pulled up Yusuf Rassiwala for “playing phunti” yesterday and then lowering his voice, inquired mischievously what he was up to. Pat came the reply: “Do I check the kind of ******giri you are up to?” Both broke into uproarious laughter as only juveniles can.
This is the no-holds-barred spirit that also binds the likes of Ram Shankar Shukla, Nahid Khan, Nafisa Sayyad and Tara Chand Seth. Nothing stops them from playing the fool with others and vice-versa.
Significantly, there is also a third category, sandwiched between these two generations and they comprise a majority of female members. Ladies like Geeta Sardana, Khatoon Baig, Sunita Jajodia and Razia Khan can be refreshingly outgoing and happy-go-lucky, clearly defying their age. And yet, they can also turn chillingly staid and old-fashioned, taking everyone by surprise. You could call them the 'Tweens of Twilight Years'.
Harish Wadhwa:
* At heart, each one of us is young (actually 'very young') since it still beats for one and all with concern and care. The child in us will never die. Rather, the senior citizens will become children as they grow. It is logical therefore to have fun, joke, mock, feel sad, brood, back-bite, etc.
* I must have made at least 8-10 clicks today to read this blog...

Fiery Start

Nahid 'Bhaijaan' Khan

Sunita Jajodia

No woman likes being reprimanded in public, least of all by a man. If only Shekhawat understood this simple fact of life, he wouldn’t have taken on three women at one go this morning -- Nahid Khan, Sunita Jajodia and Ruksana Khan. He probably thought he could get away with it because he is Hari Singh Shekhawat. But in the end, Jagmohan Papneja had to bail him out.
It all began with the three ladies reporting late for the exercises, even as they were already present in Garden. The laughter round had started and the they were still chatting merrily in the China Hut, with Papneja joining them. Shekhawat just couldn’t take it. Fuming with rage, he shouted “Nahid Bhaijaan” a couple of times and then relapsed into exercising silently.
Before long the three ladies ambled in one by one. Furious at their casual attitude, he went hammer and tongs at Sunita first, little expecting her to hit back with equal ferocity. She thundered in her native Marwari lingo, made angry eyes and wagging her finger stepped in the centre of the circle to hold up the exercises.

Shekhawat quietly watches the sale of designer clothes in the Garden

Nahid soon followed suit – the crux of their argument being that when Shekhawat breaks any “rule” all is fine but if they take a minor liberty, it becomes a national calamity! With others like Nafisa Sayyad and Ruksana adding fuel to fire (though in light vein), Shekhawat did not know what to say. So he charged at Papneja who had just walked in, oblivious to the pandemonium in his absence. Questioned on what he had been doing in the China Hut for so long, he remarked nonchalantly that he was only switching off the ceiling fans. This came as an anti-climax – a perfect antidote to a fiery start in the morning.
The tension in the air was eventually relieved by a surprise sale of designer clothes close to the Garden gate. Apparently a local boutique owner had shut shop and was offloading surplus stock at throwaway prices. While some like Monthi Serrao eagerly took their pick, the chief combatants of the morning drama kept their distance. They had retired hurt.
Harish Wadhwa:
* It is impolite to comment on women power and their 'liberties' in today's context. So men must better get used to it for their own benefit. Just chill, because women are anyway NOT in your control and will never be.
* Arora-sa'ab, for whom are you selecting the sarees and suits? It is better, Kiran Bhabhi-ji makes her own choices... LOL

Treat Upon Treat

Easter treat of sliced cake from Monthi Serrao

Teja Singh has brought milk cakes from Faridabad for us

Easter is said to be a season of renewal – of new beginnings and hope. Since Sundays are our regular weekly off, we missed out on any Easter celebration at the Garden yesterday. Nonetheless, we trooped in this morning in the shameless hope of an Easter treat from Monthi Serrao, the only devout and practicing Christian in our midst. She observes Lent and participates in all church-driven activities including administering the Holy Communion and even the ritual foot washing preceding Good Friday. Now, having broken her 40-day fast, she enjoined us in a sumptuous Easter treat of sliced cakes and chocolates.
That was not all. In the same spirit of happy revivals, Sardar Teja Singh Bhambra rejoined us after a long spell of absence and treated us to Faridabad’s popular milk cakes. So it was a double treat for us. But more than that, we were back to old times when Sardarji’s arrival in the Garden at 7:00 a.m. sharp would get us cracking for the exercises, his gentle sense of humour and silent chuckles… we were missing all of that. Today, with his return, we became a ‘full family’ once again. Much as he complained of “age-related weakness”, in our eyes he looked unusually fresh and rejuvenated from his visit to Faridabad.
If that were not enough, we had Sandhya Narang also this morning – showing up after close to three months. She said she was down with throat infection and had been running fever which took so long to subside, but has left her considerably weak and physically distraught. While wishing her complete recovery at the earliest, we raised an extra laugh to welcome her back in our fold.
Harish Wadhwa:
* Thank you so much, Teja Singh-ji. Even though I was not at the Garden, Bose-babu was generous to share his part of the milk cake. Enjoyed it thoroughly. You look so elegant and handsome in your signature turban. Happy return to the garden.
* Happy return to Sandhya-ji as well. Had not heard about her for a long time. Nice to see her keeping fine, hale and hearty. Her picture in the blog says it all.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Thank you Monthi-ji for the lovely cake. It was really delicious. I hope you had a lovely Easter. I thank Teja Singh-ji also for offering the tasty milk cake. Welcome back, your presence would fill the vacuum created by your absence in the Club.

Day 1267

Pic of the Week

Happy Easter!

Jagmohan Papneja:
Colorful eggs and bunnies -- the cool breeze this season brings the warmth and laughter of loved ones gathering around. The love of the Lord pleasantly surrounds. HAPPY EASTER.
Bhaswati Bose:
Dear Monthi, enjoy the season of Easter eggs, bunny hats and hot cross buns with Tian and the rest of your family. We wish you all lots and lots of fun, happiness and everlasting peace.
Harish Wadhwa:
Happy Easter, Monthi-ji. Even though morphed, the picture has come out very nice. Worth treasuring.

Lost in Translation

Ramila Mistry

It was Monthi Serrao’s turn to spring a surprise today. Soon after the exercises, she demanded out of the blue: “What is this about Ramila Mistry? She was crying on the phone… Somebody seems to have done some fraud on her… She does not know what to do!”
None of us had any clue of what she was saying. All we knew was that Ramila suffers from a serious knee problem which prevents her from walking / standing for too long and that was why she had stopped coming to the Garden to exercise. But what was this about fraud and crying on the phone? This was news to us.
“Did you get the phone call?” Srichand Arora asked Monthi pointedly.

Monthi narrates the phone scam

“Yes, it came on my WhatsApp.”
So this wasn’t a phone call after all, but a text message. Obviously, there was no weeping or howling either. Jagmohan Papneja and Bihari Milwani instantly dismissed it as a common cell-phone scam (they too had received similar alerts) but Monthi insisted she would bring her phone on Monday to prove she was serious.
She went on to elaborate that Ramila had received a call from her mobile service provider, advising her to switch off her phone for a couple of hours due to some technical upgrade. After two hours, when Ramila switched on her phone, she discovered a series of pending ‘missed calls’ from her friends and relatives. Upon returning the calls, she learnt that someone had impersonated her and in her voice, cried and pleaded frantically for financial assistance to bail her out of some distressful situation. Or so was Monthi made to believe.
Clearly, the WhatsApp account had been hacked. But upon contacting Ramila Mistry, another story emerged. None of this happened, but she had only forwarded a cautionary message to all her contacts describing the modus operandi of scamsters. And Monthi, in all her simplicity, had mistaken it as Ramila being the “victim of some fraud”. But again, it is always wiser to err on the side of caution.
Jagmohan Papneja:
WhatsApp fake messages are spreading like wildfire. If you receive such messages, ignore them and do not to share with anyone.

Monkey Warning

In the old days, whenever dacoits struck in a village, people would be warned in advance of the time and place of the attack. Effectively, they were given a choice – to fight or take flight. Nobody wanted bloodshed.
Today we were served notice by monkeys – yes, monkeys. Jagmohan Papneja came with the news that two of them had been sighted in the Garden, swinging from the branches close to where we exercise. Apparently, they had played havoc in the dense foliage, scaring the hell out of some early morning walkers.

Dense foliage where monkeys were sighted today

Before long, we could see at a short distance, a wild frenzy had broken out among crows as they hovered agitatedly over a banyan tree. “The monkeys are in that tree,” Papneja proclaimed ominously. We continued to exercise in silence.
Soon word drifted in that monkeys had attacked Mala Towers, the apartment block opposite the Garden and panic-stricken residents were out in the compound. This time Papneja did not utter a word, but gave a knowing look as if to say, “This was expected. Next is our turn!”
Finally, whatever little sanity was left in us went for a toss when a terrified Khatoon Baig came running in and hurriedly announced that a monkey had paid her a visit in Millat Nagar last evening and feasted on all the fruits in her kitchen.

Khatoon Baig

“What is the worst they can do?” she asked. “It seems some trees were cut down yesterday in Goregaon and a whole army of monkeys are on the loose. What should we do if they come here and attack us?”
When told they were already here in the Garden, her eyes popped out of her spectacles. She refused to believe they were harmless creatures and would not attack unless attacked. “Badey shayane hain,” she argued nervously. “Monkeys are clever. They bite you!”
“Before biting, they slap you on the face,” Nafisa Sayyad educated her.
“Hai Allah!” Khatoon gasped. She had already charted her escape route from the Garden – as indeed, many others. After all, who wants to be slapped – that too by a monkey?!!
Bhaswati Bose:
A monkey will slap only when it picks lice from your hair. If you even move your head slightly, it will land a tight whack... The only way to ward off a monkey is to give it a mirror. It will hold the mirror and make faces at it while you can escape.

Scrap Material

Najma Sayyad

Why was it cloudy and still so hot this morning? Why did Monthi Serrao and Bhaswati Bose come dressed in identical outfits? Why does Banoo Khan walk around with her mobile phone stapled to one ear permanently? Why did Srichand Arora not come to the Garden today also? Why does Ruksana Khan do her exercises on the bench with her legs and not with her hands…
Of all the questions swirling around, the biggest concern was Najma Sayed. She has not shown up for close to three months and yet, had sent her membership renewal today through her friend and neighbor, Khatoon Baig. The latter informed that Najma had suffered another fall barely two weeks back. “The poor lady, she is suffering a lot because of her weight problem,” remarked Khatoon. “She can barely stand up and keep her balance.”
“But this was the second time she has fallen down?” Shekhawat inquired, genuinely concerned. “I remember she fell six months back in the bathroom.”

Khatoon Baig pays up on behalf of Najma Sayyad

“That was the second time,” Nafisa Sayyad corrected him. “Before that also, she had fallen in the kitchen.”
Khatoon agreed that Najma keeps falling off and on, but that cannot be helped. She has apparently reached a stage of obesity beyond all treatment and by now, has come to terms with it. “We are all at that stage in life when we are beyond any repair,” she declared philosophically. “We are all tootey-phootey log, broken down completely!”
“Don’t feel bad,” Nafisa consoled her. “So long as you can, just pull on somehow. Afterwards, there is the bangaar wallah. He will take you as scrap material, by the kilo.”
Nobody found that funny. “Even the bangaar fellow will find us worthless,” Nahid Khan informed. “Why don’t we better go for a good exchange offer?”
“Rubbish,” Monthi said dismissively. “After 60 years of age, we should be ready to be dumped under the ground forever. No exchange offer!”
That was it. The discussions were given a decent burial for the day.
Harish Wadhwa:
Monthi-ji and Bhaswati-ji are birds of the same feather; no wonder they flock together. As for Najma-ji, she is one of the very few, soft-spoken women among us and a noble lady at heart. Having a cheerful and fun-loving mind is more important than the physical body and that overshadows the weight issue. You will be fine, Najma-ji and we are looking forward to see you back at the Garden soon.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime one has not committed.

‘Rape of Crow’

Yusuf Rassiwala was in a jovial mood today. Quite likely, it was because of Bhoothnath Returns, the movie he is taking the Club to for the 11:45 a.m. show today at Fun Republic. His grandson is acting in the film.

Agitated crows in action 

Moreover, with Srichand Arora absent, he had taken charge of the proceedings, cracking jokes and playing the fool… till out of the blue, a bunch of noisy crows descended in an angry heap close to him.
The crows have always been mute spectators to our antics during the exercises, arriving peacefully at 7:30 sharp every morning and keeping a respectful distance till we disperse. Once in a while, they would engage in their ‘committee meetings’ (as Geeta Sardana says) or ‘party celebration’ (as Monthi Serrao says) sharing tit-bits among themselves. Neither do we get into their way nor have they bothered us.

Yusuf Rassiwala wishes Razia Khan (centre) bon voyage

Jagmohan Papneja briefs ladies on the education program

But today, the crows were in an unusually aggressive mood. They jumped and fluttered about menacingly, cawing and clawing, only to dash at one another’s throats and raising a cloud of black feathers. Nobody shooed them -- least of all Yusuf. He had stopped exercising and kept watching the agitated crows closely from a vantage point. Then raising his voice above the raucous din, he made a studied observation: “This is rape of the crow!”
Immediately Shekhawat and Nahid Khan turned red in the face, buckling down in laughter. For the benefit of others who did not hear, Yusuf repeated, “Kauwe ki balaatkaar ho rahi hai!” Before further damage could be done, some ladies charged at the crows and within moments they were gone.
On a serious note though, Jagmohan Papneja announced that the child education initiative (see post of April 11), courtesy Angel Express Foundation has taken off successfully. “Around 50 kids turned up for the inauguration last evening at the China Hut,” he informed. The classes would run on stream from today, twice a day and is likely to extend beyond the current summer vacation. While Monthi Serrao and Bhaswati Bose volunteered their services as part-time teachers, Nahid Khan wanted to know if she could admit her grandchildren for the classes.
Meanwhile, Razia Khan was given a warm send-off as she boards the Duronto Express to Calcutta this evening. She is going to her daughter-in-law’s place and has promised to bring us Bengal’s famous rosogollas when she returns. We wish her a safe and enjoyable trip.
Jagmohan Papneja:
12 persons from the Garden including members of the club went to see the movie, Bhoothnath Returns.The movie taught us a lot about elections. While this theme is well-timed, it also conveys the message that our vote is invaluable. Do not waste your precious vote. If you don't vote, you lose the right to complain. I would like to say also that the role played by the grandson of Yusuf-bhai was commendable. He should be encouraged. Our sincere thanks to Yusuf-bhai for arranging coupons for the tasty snacks and cold drinks.

New Morning

NEW DAWN: Bhaswati Bose greets everyone on Poila Baisakh

Anybody who thinks that what gets into the blog is for effect must think again. Nothing that is reported here is made up or planned. When we enter the Garden, we have no clue how the morning would unfold. Every day is a new day. And every morning throws up new surprises.
Like this morning – when Srichand Arora walked in without his shorts. It was one of those rarest of rare occasions when he had his track pants on -- prompting Yusuf Rassiwala to comment: “Today, he is without half ticket. He has got full ticket!” Arora pretended not to hear, but the message was loud and clear for everyone to titter: “Arora has grown up to be an adult!”
Or take the lively music playing on Jagmohan Papneja’s mobile phone this morning. The lyrics of songs – suggestive of bleeding hearts and fire on water and vice-versa – were a constant refrain, inspiring hilarious mindless parodies, the target being Shekhawat (naturally)!

Acrobats in action

At one point, much to our surprise, Razia Khan (who was conducting the exercises) got so carried away by the songs that she stopped keeping count and instead, began singing merrily – thus leaving us all in a limbo. Only when Ved Prakash Grover protested aloud, “Arrey, what are you doing?!?” did Razia realize what she was doing.

Nafisa Sayyad

All this while Nafisa Sayyad went on needling Shekhawat on every mention of “dil” in the songs -- the obvious suggestion being that he better keep his dil in control, now that his heart has suffered a stroke. Not to be cowed down, Shekhawat boasted that his dil is stronger than ever after his heart surgery last year. “In that case, let’s see if you are man enough to do gulatis (somersaults) on the ground. Look there,” Nafisa urged.
At a distance, a couple of young bearded men were engaged in some peculiar acrobatic exercises – from doing headstands and somersaults to turning cartwheels and walking upside-down on their hands. Shekhawat gave them one dirty look and refused to turn in that direction again.
With Nafisa teasing Shekhwat for chickening out, the banter went on uninterrupted till Bhaswati Bose ushered in Poila Baisakh with a box of coconut luddoos. A happy morning and the beginning of yet another new year – this time for the Bengalis -- ended on a sweet note. Shubho Naba Barsho!
Harish Wadhwa:
Shubho Naba Barsho to the Bose family and other Bengalis. Today is also the Tamil and Malayalee new year. Thanks for the lovely yummy luddoos.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Every season has its charm and all communities have their own typical way of welcoming the New Year. Poila Baisakh is here and so is the festive box of coconut luddoos (mishti madhur anonda) by the Bose family. On this auspicious day, I wish Mrs and Mr Bose a very happy Bengali New Year.
Harish Wadhwa adds:
Look at the lovely sunbeam as a spotlight on Bhaswati-ji, the star of the morning, with color faded tresses in the background. Beautifully clicked picture.

Baisakhi 2014

Happy Baisakhi!

Today was Baisakhi, the Hindu New Year. An auspicious day, it marked the confluence of several harvest festivals celebrated by different communities between April 13 and 15 – Vishukani by the Malayalees, Puthandu by Tamilians, Poila Baisakh by Bengalis, Bishubh Sankranti by the Oriyas, Rongila Bihu by the Assamese and so forth.

Yusuf Rassiwala speaks of the film

Community feasting and entertainment programmes were organized on a grand scale over the past three days in the neighboring Celebration Club and Lokhandwala Garden No 2 as part of the New Year festivities. But for us at the Garden, it was business as usual this morning – except for the customary chorus of wishing one another, “Happy Baisakhi – Happy Baisakhi – Hey!” at the end of the exercises. Indeed, Happy Baisakhi to all.
Yusuf Rassiwala had an announcement to make. His grandson, Hosein (a gifted child actor) plays an important part in the just-released Amitabh Bachchan-starrer, Bhoothnath Returns. It is a film about the camaraderie shared between a friendly ghost and a bunch of kids which goes on to assume political overtones. “Apart from being a rollicking comedy, the picture holds contemporary relevance in view of the current Lok Sabha elections,” Yusuf informed, exhorting everyone to watch the film in the nearest cineplex.
So it was decided on-the-spot that we would all go for the afternoon show at Cinemax this Wednesday (April 16) to watch Bhoothnath Returns. Yusuf agreed to book tickets en-bloc for us.
Harish Wadhwa:
Baisakhi di twanu sabnu, bahut bahut vadhaiyaan. Nacho te gao, bhangra pao, khushi manao!

Day 1260

Pic of the Week

In starry company: RAKSHANANDA KHAN weds SACHIN TYAGI

Bhaswati Bose:
A beautiful mother with her gorgeous daughter and handsome son-in-law... Out best wishes and blessings to the newly-weds.
Harish Wadhwa:
Beautiful mother, her gorgeous daughter and handsome son-in-law with our Big Laaf smiling handsome men.

Total Tomfoolery

Kiran Makhria

Kiran Makhria is much puzzled and confused these days. For the past one week or so, Srichand Arora and Monthi Serrao have been reminding her to pay her contribution of Rs600 like all other members of the Club. She does not understand why. A lady of few words, she has since been asking around what this money is all about.
Obviously words like “yearly subscription” or “annual renewal of membership” do not make sense to her. When told that all along she had been paying up religiously and that till March 31, 2014 nothing is pending against her, she became all the more confused. Some of her close friends explained that there is no need to pay the full annual subscription of Rs600 at once, but she could as well pay for six months or even three months, calculated at the rate of Rs50 a month.

Khatoon Baig signs the 'get well card' for Santosh Tyagi

“Oh 50 rupees a month,” her face brightened. “Like what other gardens charge for entry? But they charge only two rupees at the gate.”
“Not two rupees a day, but 50 rupees a month!” she was corrected.
That stumped her all the more. She was back to square one: “But why 50 rupees?”
“Well, 10 rupees for doing the laughter round; another ten rupees for listening to the music; ten rupees for being allowed to exercise with Nahid Bhai; ten rupees more for looking at all the other members. Ho gayaa 50 rupees!” Bhaswati Bose explained in all seriousness.
That made sense. “Ab samjhi,” she said.
Later on, when asked whether she was convinced by the explanation, Kiran realized something was amiss. Quickly she regained her composure and smiled: “I was just joking.”
Amid all this tomfoolery, the members got together and put their signatures on a Get Well Soon Card for Santosh Tyagi (see yesterday’s post). She is likely to be discharged today from hospital and it was felt that rather than crowd her home, someone would discreetly leave the card at her place and in effect, convey the sentiments of the Club. Harish Wadhwa offered to play delivery boy.
Harish Wadhwa:
The card was delivered to Santosh-ji's home in the morning and the lady who took it was very thankful to one and all for the gesture. I was told that Santosh-ji will be home tonight.

News Outbreak

Santosh Tyagi

First the happy news: Santosh Tyagi’s gall bladder operation yesterday has been a success and she is at present recuperating at the Brahma Kumaris’ BSES MG Hospital near Andheri (W) Station. According to her son Manoj Tyagi, around eight “very large” gall stones were recovered and these had been the cause of excruciating pain which necessitated the emergency surgical intervention. Till last last evening, Santosh was in the hospital ICU, but purely as a “precautionary measure” due to rapid fluctuations in her blood sugar and BP levels post-surgery. These ought to stabilize during the day and she is likely to be discharged tomorrow.
Now the hard news: Jagmohan Papneja has initiated a program for educating children of the poor and under-privileged in three key subjects – English, mathematics and science.

Jagmohan Papneja unveils the new child education initiative 

“I appeal to all members of the Club to identify such kids, particularly of their household help and motivate them to join our classes here in the Garden,” he said after the exercises today. “There will be two sessions, morning and evening, inside the China Hut for which we have obtained the necessary permission. The classes will be conducted free of charge.”
The appeal was however, lost on most of us for the initial ten minutes. Rusty by age, we all wondered why Jagmohan should be so anxious to send us back to school and that too for classes in English, mathematics and science.

Mohankanwar Shekhawat

“I will rather teach science,” Geeta Sardhana boasted. “I will teach English,” countered Bhaswati Bose in typical yes-I-can fashion. When Jagmohan informed that “volunteers were always welcome” did the idea sink in and the announcement had to be repeated all over again. Significantly, none among the male members offered to volunteer, either as teacher or even as student!
Finally, the not-so-good news: Shekhawat’s wife, Mohankanwar is down with dipping blood sugar and BP. She is extremely weak. She had been complaining of recurring fits of giddiness earlier on which, according to Shekhawat, had got worse on their recent trip to Rajasthan. Back in Mumbai on April 5, the couple has since been making the rounds of specialist doctors and pathology labs in the city. The test reports have just come in and she has been advised bed rest and medication at home. We can only wish and pray that she gets well sooner than soonest.
Harish Wadhwa:
* My sincere wishes to Santosh-ji for a very quick recovery. Gall stones do cause excruciating bouts of pain and need to be surgically removed. She should be fine soon. If I can be of any help do let me know. [On a lighter vein, wish you were consuming gulabo (your patent kanji) more often or daily. All the stones would have got washed out. Achcha hai, chalo, ek raste ka paththar toh hat gaya!]
* My good wishes also go out to Mrs Shekhawat -- a lady so calm, cool, pati-vrata and caring. [I have seen this closely during Shekhawat-ji's heart operation.] May God bless you with good health and fast recovery.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Our main objective is to provide meaningful and free education to underprivileged children, help them realize their potential and be contributors in rashtra nirman (national development). Your cooperation in this endeavour is solicited.

Bizarre Beliefs

BARREN GROUND: Shrinking numbers for the exercises

Shekhawat did not come today. As if on cue, many others did not come today. In fact, most of those who came yesterday (when Shekhawat was present) were absent this morning, leaving us with barely a half-dozen for the best part of the exercises. Towards the end, a few more joined us but the numbers could just about touch double-digit.
This only establishes a growing belief in the Club (see yesterday’s post) that there exists a telepathic connect between Shekhawat and some members. As Srichand Arora put it, “The chumbak (magnet) was missing today”. How else can one explain that when Shekhawat was present yesterday, we had an almost full house of 20-plus?

Hari Singh Shekhawat

Razia Khan, Nafisa Sayyad, Dilip Babani, Ram Shankar Shukla, Kiran Makhria, Sunita Jajodia and many more, they were all there. Today they were all absent. Weird as it may sound, they must be blessed with some kind of an ESP (extra sensory perception) that tells them in advance whether Shekhawat would show up in the Garden or not!

Sitaram Hivarkar

Another bizarre belief gaining ground is that when we are in diminished strength, the crows take the place of absentee members. Today we had nearly 20 of them huddled in a group and waiting patiently for us to finish with our exercises. Yesterday, they were fewer in number. Geeta Sardhana feels they visit the Garden “to have their own club general body meeting”, but Monthi Serrao corrected her by pointing out “they are having a party” – now that we do not have as many parties as we used to. After April when the ‘dry spell’ of birthday celebrations would be over, the crows would disappear. But there's Jagmohan Papneja’s theory also that the crows are harbingers of a weather change.
The good news though was Sitaram Hivarkar’s return after a prolonged spell of illness. He was keeping indifferent health and as he said, had developed a bad throat infection. His voice is still feeble, but he promised to keep his daily appointment at the Garden now on.
Bhaswati Bose:
Today's Thought of the Day is appropriate. It is election time and there are many monkeys around!
Harish Wadhwa:
* Thought of the Day: Yes, we display four and not three personality attributes in public life. Three are shown by our hands and one commonly by our feet.
* Get well soon, Sitaram-ji. Our prayers are with all who have not been keeping good health of late.
Jagmohan Papneja:
Only human beings are capable of ESP communication. Special persons are so empowered. It is interesting to note that some persons in our group possess such qualities.