Last Supper

Many happy returns of the day, Mr Maitra

Had it been an evening or night time celebration, today’s big bash could well have been our Last Supper for 2016. But it was Siba Prasad Maitra’s birthday mainly. And what a lavish treat that was – unlimited slices of cake, dhokla, phapda-jalebi, spring rolls, methi wadi… and of course, unending rounds of hot tea to wash it all down.
There could not have been a bigger or better way to celebrate New Year Eve. Moreover, this was the fifth and last of the series of Saturday bashes scheduled for December. Most importantly, Mrs Maitra was there with us to grace the occasion. She daintily picked a slice of fruit cake and offered the first bite to her husband,

'Birthday bite' from Mrs Maitra (r)

only to be rewarded with a ferocious, blood curdling snarl (see pic alongside) before losing the piece into that cavernous mouth. Nobody dared to check what happened to the rest of the cake.
But it was all in jest – very much in keeping with Maitra’s wicked sense of humor we are getting used to. He had turned up nattily dressed in a striped red-and- blue polo shirt and dark trousers, looking strikingly ebullient and spirited for his age.

The last big bash of the year, courtesy Siba Prasad Maitra

“The important thing is to remain young at heart, no matter how many birthdays you celebrate,” he said, warding off the envious looks around and meaningless queries about his age.
Swati Panjabi popped up from nowhere with a shiny birthday gift. Others gave Maitra lots of love and fresh air, gamboling and fooling about as always. We sang the birthday song and raised the fourth laughter for him after the exercises. Being the perfect gentleman, he acknowledged every greeting personally while also taking care of every guest present in the party.
When it was over and the place cleared of all litter, Pushpa Gupta sprung a surprise. She was so taken in by the enormity of the celebration that apparently, she had forgotten how to address her husband.
“Dhakkan!”, she yelled, as Bijoy Gupta struggled with a huge garbage bag filled with the remains of the party. Pushpa was actually looking for the lid of a sweet box, in case it was to be found in the garbage bag. But the way Bijoy Gupta stopped obediently, acknowledging her call, made for a hilarious if slightly embarrassing situation for the couple. “Chalega!” Gupta mumbled, trying to cover up for his wife's faux pas. But that shall remain for many of us, an unforgettable moment in today’s celebration.

GOODBYE 2016

Siba Prasad Maitra:
My thanks to all the members of Big Laaf for making my day special. Special thanks to Dilip-bhai, Kajal, Pushpa-ji and Bhaswati-ji for their support in making the programme successful. Mallika-ji's tea was really good.
My "birthday bite" picture was taken suddenly. I was just cutting a joke by opening my mouth to give a bite to the cake. No one should get afraid of it. Ha ha ha!!!
Geeta Latte:
Happy Birthday, dear Uncle!
Bihari Milwani (from San Francisco):
SP Sahib, wish you a very very sweet sixteenth birthday with 50 golden years of experience!

Mopping Up

Kiran Prakash (l) announces details of the New Year's programme

With one day left for the New Year, mopping-up operations for 2016 are almost over. All filing and documentation, the membership register and books of accounts of the Club have been updated. Old scores have been settled. A couple of issues remain though, and these too shall be wrapped up soon – the idea being that we begin 2017 on a clean slate.
Meanwhile, Kiran Prakash outlined the salient features of the New Year programme scheduled on Monday, January 2, 2017. He announced the names of those who would perform little gigs, which will be followed by refreshments from the Club. A major highlight of the event would be the 'songs on request’

Arun Patil... moping

by Bunty, a professional singer and friend of Big Laaf.
Separately, Shekhawat went about collecting Rs100 from every member interested in watching Dangal next week. The day fixed for this movie outing is Wednesday, January 4, 2017. The intention is to book our seats well in advance so that we are not left high and dry at the eleventh hour, as it happened yesterday (ref post).
In an unrelated development, Arun Patil threatened to put in his resignation today, thereby stirring a hornets’ nest of sorts.

Advance booking for Dangal

He felt that a section of the Club is hostile towards him because of his “authoritarian nature” and efforts to “enforce discipline” during the exercises. He took the day off yesterday to think things over and has come to the firm conclusion that it would be in the larger interests of the Club that he “quits gracefully”, the earlier the better.
Arun may not be far from the truth in his belief that some people (he even named names) do resent his domineering attitude, especially on the question of wearing the Club cap or talking incessantly while the exercises are on. Indeed, many are disturbed when they see others not too serious about exercising. At the same time, to imagine that any one of us would mould our ways to suit Arun’s dictates is a little far-fetched. It is bound to create resentment.
With a little pep talk, Arun was made to realize that it is too late in life for a senior citizen to change into his way of thinking, however well-intended it might be. Rather than be dogmatic or sentimental about this, he would have to tread the thin line between enforcing discipline and not offending anybody's self-respect. It’s a tough call, but he can do it!
Bihari Milwani from San Francisco:
Try Carnival Cinema in Harmony Mall, Oshiwara. It is very close to our Garden and still cheaper than Cinepolis.

Gone Phut!

Our cineastes are crestfallen as Maitra checks furiously on his mobile

All plans to watch Dangal today with the Club (ref yesterday’s post) have ended in a fiasco. No tickets are available. More accurately, the tickets we wanted have been sold out. Or so we were told this morning.
According to plans, those interested in watching the movie were to meet at the booking counter of Fun Cinepolis in time for the 10:30 a.m. show today. That was when the best seats were available (in bulk) for an unbeatable price of Rs100 per head. It was a total value- for- money proposition.
However, as it turned out, all those discounted seats -- barring two rows in the front -- had got sold out in the past 24 hours.
Seeing how crestfallen everybody had become, Siba Prasad Maitra whipped out his cell phone in the Garden and tried online for some equally attractive alternatives – at say, another theatre or show for a comparable price.

Kiran Prakash (r) tries to salvage the situation

For more than half-hour he, together with Dilip Babani, Bhaswati Bose and Yusuf Rassiwala, checked all possible options and finally, drew a blank. Oddly enough, nobody was prepared to pay a rupee over Rs100 for a Dangal ticket. And yet, everybody wanted to go go for the film.
“There is no point pushing this for tomorrow as it is a Friday and ticket rates are bound to shoot up because of the new releases. Saturday and Sunday are even worse as demand multiplies manifold during week-ends. On Monday, we shall leave the Garden late because of our New Year celebration. So our best bet for Dangal would be some time in the middle of next week,” concluded Yusuf R.
Somehow, this got translated to “next month” and later, to “next year” -- the expressions meaning the same.
But it broke Kiran Prakash’s heart. “You mean you people are prepared to wait one year for the movie that you missed today?” he asked incredulously. “This is too much! Please go today itself… at whatever price you get the tickets. Whatever the amount over Rs100, I shall pay the difference. Since you have come all prepared, go right away. What are you waiting for? Please go!”
Not to miss an opportunity, many took a rain cheque on that.
Bihari Milwani from San Francisco:
Everyone should have seen Dangal. You should have then obtained a refund by using the wrestling skills gained from watching the movie.

Movie Time

Shekhawat announces tomorrow's movie outing

After a gap of nearly six years, we are witnessing another major revival in the Club – movie outings. Tomorrow, a group of 20-odd members is expected to converge at a nearby cineplex for the morning show of the latest Aamir Khan-starrer, Dangal – a semi-biographical film on an ageing wrestler who coaches his daughters to become world class wrestling champs.
The movie is supposed to be inspired by the lives of the Phogat family from Haryana – Mahavir Singh and his two daughters, Geeta and Babita. However, were it not for Aamir Khan in the lead and positive reviews in the press, it is unlikely any of us would have cared to watch “a wrestling film” together.

Not to be missed?!?

Moreover, some members like Santosh Tyagi, Siba Prasad Maitra, Geeta Latte and Fahmida Khan have already seen the film by themselves and are all praise for it.
Significantly, the last time we had gone for a movie outing was for the comedy, Yamla Pagla Deewana, in 2011. Prior to that, there had been many such outings for potboilers like Tees Maar Khan, Dabangg, Golmaal 3 and so on. Thereafter, it all came to a halt -- for a very peculiar reason.
In December 2011, a movie called Dirty Picture (starring Vidya Balan) was released. Like Dangal, it was a quasi-biographical feature – based on the life of southern sex siren, Silk Smitha. Everybody in the Club was interested, but nobody said so in as many words -- what with salacious scenes from the film playing 24x7 on TV and suggestive posters plastered around town. And then, with an unambiguous title like Dirty Picture!
The ladies in the Club made it known that they would not be caught dead watching the movie in the company of gents. The men in the Club, in their impatience, watched the film individually – only to be “found out” in dark auditoriums and loos. The ladies broke into groups on the basis of age… and in the end, nobody got left out. Everybody saw Dirty Picture. But oddly enough nobody was prepared to admit it. That was enough to raise a cloud of suspicion and eventually, cost the group its unity. Since then, movie outings have been suspended!
Dilip Babani:
Dangal is a very nice movie. All must see it. An Aamir Khan movie is always the best.
Siba Prasad Maitra:
In our club, the ladies are more in number. After they see Geeta and Babita fight the boys so well in Dangal, all male members in the club will have to be extra careful from day after tomorrow. The ladies would have learnt wrestling from the movie by then. Ha ha ha!
Bihari Milwani (from San Francisco):
Good news! In the new year, insurance companies will reduce the premium for male members of our club. We will have a lot of lady bodyguards after they watch Dangal.

Year of Parties

Keema-pao party... courtesy Mallika Kagzi (2nd from left)

If a review of the past 12 months were to be done, 2016 shall go down as the Year of Eating and Eating. Never before has the Club been treated to so many parties, big and small, right through the year.
In fact, we seem to have done little else during 2016 than eat, eat… and eat.
Today also, we had a party – a “surprise” from Mallika Kagzi. She brought dhoklas and our favorite keema-pao that we used to regularly gorge on till about a year back. For some strange reason, she had since forgotten to treat us to the latter. And we did not remind her out of politeness.

Arun Patil's style of enforcing discipline

So this morning, the warm and spicy keema-pao not only fired our taste buds once again, it also revived old memories. It made our day.
The reason these parties have assumed significance is that they are being held in rather, adverse conditions. Eatables and beverages are banned in the Garden. Till about a year back when there was no such rule – obviously because factors like hygiene and cleanliness did not occur then – we used to celebrate like everybody else inside the Garden.
Nowadays, perforce we are setting up camp by the roadside, usually outside a shop or juice stall, to have our spot of fun and stuff ourselves silly. It is almost like going for the ‘forbidden fruit’ with a vengeance, which, in a way, explains the surfeit of parties during the past 12 months.
There is of course, the contra view that such over-indulgence does little to our health and fitness. In fact, the very purpose of reporting for the exercises early in the morning is defeated by putting on those extra calories – more than what we burn by exercising. But then, the very people who mouth such homilies are invariably the first ones to queue up for their share of the eats. Nobody refuses a good party!
Dilip Babani:
Mallika-ji's home-made keema pav and dhoklas were superb. The surprise party was very nice. The tea was sone pe suhaga! Wah, Wah, Mallika-ji!!! May God bless you.
Bihari Milwani from San Francisco:
There is one more reason for more parties this year. Generally we have 365 days in a year. This being a leap year, we have 366 days. It automatically calls for more parties!

Party Planning

Everybody seems to be making plans

Mallika enjoys Karun Sharma's jokes before a crow does its business on her

As the year comes to a close, busybodies in the Club are on an overdrive working out how we should usher in 2017. Not all their planning makes sense though – at least for the moment. But to the extent most members are concerned, the post-exercise parties and treats top the list of priorities.
Already finalized is the New Year ‘entertainment programme’ fixed for January 2 in the China Hut (ref post of December 12) for which a special budget has just been earmarked. The programme will be followed by a feast for all members – a first for Big Laaf.
Now, Qadeer Banoo’s birthday happens to be on January 1 (a Sunday) and she too wants to celebrate on January 2. Today she was given the option to either skip the birthday treat or else, if she insisted, “sponsor” the New Year’s feast for the Club. She chose a third option: She would rather defer her birthday celebration to the first Saturday of the New Year.
So January 7 is blocked for Qadeer Banoo. Dilip Babani’s birthday falls on January 10 and he went on to block the next Saturday, i.e. January 14. This leaves the January 21 and January 28 slots open. How these dates are booked will now depend on the ingenuity and persuasive skills of the Club’s inveterate party planners.
Meanwhile, Mallika Kagzi ran into a spot of rotten luck this morning. She had finished with the exercises and was on her way out of the Garden when she tripped near the gate and sprained her ankle badly. On a cold, winter morning this can be very painful and seeing her in agony, Dilip quickly got her a chair to rest.
Before long, others gathered around her and provided some entertainment with jokes, if only to divert her attention. But a crow perched on a tree branch above had different plans: It relieved itself pointedly on Mallika. Next thing we knew was bottles of water being poured on her head. Somebody mentioned that crow droppings were a sign of ‘good luck’, but Mallika was far from convinced. Her instant response was… well, unprintable.
Karun H.Sharma:
It is a fact that anything unpredictable is scary. Now with time I am finding increased compatibility and predictability. Unpredictability is easing out with smile inducing antics of Shekhawat-ji. Ab sher se utna dar nahi lagta!
Bihari Milwani (from San Francisco):
It is International Boxing Day today and our president, with one glance at the crow, won the championship emphatically. The other party got scared. Kudos to Mallika, our president!
Anonymous:
Sorry Bihari, Boxing Day has nothing to do with boxing. Your comments are misplaced.

DAY 2115

Pic of the Week

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Do you recognise our very own Santa Claus?

This is duplicate Santa Claus. The original is with me in San Francisco. --Bihari Milwani

Christmas or no Christmas, he is our all-weather Santa Claus. Never in the history of Big Laaf has anybody been so eagerly awaited for in the Garden. --Kiran Prakash

You have always been the Santa Claus of our garden. Every day you get pakodas, samosas and snacks to fill our stomachs with joy and happiness😊🎅🏼 --Swati Panjabi

This Santa Claus looks like Mr Bose, with very nice make-up! --Dilip Babani

Fourth Weekend Treat

SATURDAY FIESTA: Razia Khan (c) is flanked by Tahira and Shekhawat

Christmas arrived a day earlier at the Garden. Santosh Tyagi unpacked a box of crunchy gajak she had picked up from a trip to Delhi.
Banoo Apa celebrated by opening another appetizing box of yellow, stuffed barfis.
But the biggest draw was Razia Khan's oven fresh poha, batata wada, chana masala, slices of a baked sweet… and of course, hot tea.
Razia was accompanied by daughter-in-law Tahira, who made all the difference to this Saturday morning fiesta. A chirpy, young lady known to the Club for years, her presence lent a rare, homely warmth to the event – more so, because most of the items on offer were home-made, distinct from the stuff we have been routinely sourcing from the marketplace. The occasion also gave us the opportunity to catch up with her on the home front – her husband and two talented children,

Maitra (r) gives Santosh a taste of her gajak

also known to us.
But then, this is also the season of silliness. Santosh resumed her jokes’ routine with a cracker of a critique on the current demonetization drive. “Kitne aadmi thhe?” she intoned, mimicking ‘Gabbar Singh’ from the movie, Sholay.

Banoo Apa (r) treats us to barfis

Turned out she was referring to the lengthening queues outside banks with people, starved of cash, waiting their turn.
If that was not funny enough, Siba Prasad Maitra chipped in with a crisp rib-tickler, narrated extempore, soon to be followed by Bhaswati Bose reading out a series of online jokes from a cellphone. In between, Shekhawat continued energetically with his jack-in-the-box antics he had started from the exercises, obviously because Mumtaz Jahan, Fahmida Khan, Rukhsana Khan and Razia were for once, present together. Even Mallika Kagzi got into the mood of the moment and pulled off a startling little jig for the benefit of her gal pals.
In the end, it was good fun all the way. If anything, it proved one happy fact: letting down your hair can be contagious. One person starts playing the fool and before long, everyone else would follow suit!
Karun H.Sharma:
It was my first time attending a BIG Big Laaf party. It was fun, informal with lots of delicious food to celebrate. The ghazak from Santosh-ji was ghazab too!
Razia Khan:
I would like to thank all Big Laaf members for giving their precious time and showering their affection and love. I really appreciate your love and affection from the core of my heart. A very special thanks also for writing such good things about me and my family. Thanks a lot. God bless you all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to the Big Laaf family.

Rite of Induction

Yusuf Rassiwala (l) welcomes Karun Sharma (in glasses) to the Club

The suspense behind yesterday's huddle (see photo in the post) of the Managing Committee was lifted this morning with Yusuf Rassiwala formally introducing Karun Sharma as a new member of the Club.
"Even as he has paid the joining fees, his membership shall be effective from January 1, 2017,” Yusuf R clarified. “I have told him also that for all intent and purposes, he is already a part of the Big Laaf family and is as much entitled to all the rights and privileges of members as any one of us. On January 2, we shall have his coronation ceremony with the Club cap as per our custom.”
A qualified chemical engineer, 63-year-old Karun has been a regular to our daily exercises for the past month or so. These days he conducts workshops and gives talks as a life coach,

Happy Birthday, Bihari Milwani

a subject that is alien to most of our members (ref post of December 21) and sparked instant curiosity all around. “Be careful, he is also a trained face reader and palmist,” Bijoy Gupta added in jest. "Shekhawat should keep his distance from him!"
While many contemplated unburdening their life’s woes on him in private, the mischievous ones threatened to extract a “party” for his induction into the Club. Some ladies demanded that he subject himself to ragging also, as they do in colleges. “Don’t worry, there are no such compulsions,” Yusuf R assuaged him. “These are just unwritten rules at worst.”
Apparently Karun had already been subjected to intensive grilling by the Managing Committee yesterday when he was questioned on his professional background, family, reasons for wanting to join Big Laaf, who introduced him to us, etc. He also volunteered information about himself, which was highly appreciated. Such healthy interaction has become necessary of late in order to deter potential trouble makers and riff-raffs from joining the Club.
Meanwhile, here’s wishing Bihari Milwani many happy returns of the day. The man who has unfailingly been gifting us keepsake birthday mementos is today, celebrating his big day with wife and daughter in distant San Fransisco. We wish him once again, a wonderful time – a great life ahead filled with lots of joy, love and happiness. We missed him today!
Kiran Prakash:
I wish you a very happy birthday, Bihari-ji. Many happy returns of the day. Banke Bihari Lal ki Jai.
Bihari Milwani:
THANKS all Big Laaf members for your blessings, good wishes and greetings on my birthday.
Siba Prasad Maitra:
Dear Mr Milwani: Wish you many, many happy returns of the day. Stay blessed. We are missing you here. When you are coming back to India?
Geeta Latte:
Happy Birthday, dear Uncle. Baake Bihari Lal ki jai!!!
Dilip Babani:
Happy Birthday, Bihari-ji. God bless you!

Creatures of Habit

Bhaswati Bose provides today's dose of jokes

Habits die hard. Bhaswati Bose can never be on time for the exercises, no matter what. Khatoon Baig shows up invariably when the fourth laughter exercise is under way. Arun Patil is always punctual, come what may. Shekhawat is in the Garden before 6:00 a.m. every day, a clear one- and- half hours before the exercises are scheduled...
That’s not all. The position we take around the exercise circle is also dictated by habit. Bijoy Gupta must necessarily stand on Shekhawat’s right and face the gate if he has to exercise.

Managing Committee in a huddle

No other place will do. Yusuf Rassiwala finds comfort being sandwiched between Kiran Prakash and Mohd Nasir Putani Shah. Likewise, the position of every lady member in the Club is already pre-set and nobody in his right mind would ever dare alter that.
Then there are the quaint warm-up rituals we follow every morning without being aware. Some like Bose Babu must huff and puff with his breathing exercises before stepping into the circle. A few like Rukhsana Khan, Siba Prasad Maitra and Kajal Babani need to religiously circumambulate the Garden while others would straightaway make a beeline to the public toilet, before getting down to business.
There’s also Mallika Kagzi and Nahid Khan, who cannot do without a compulsory pit stop in the China Hut. One elderly lady would pick up her cap, hold it in both hands (like it was a person’s head) and rebuke it for 10 seconds before putting it on. Nowadays though, she has stopped.
Call these kinks, aberrations, deviant behavior… whatever, but they establish one thing. We have all become slaves of habit in the Garden. Outside, during the day, we may not be as programmed and predictable in our behavior. In fact, even when the exercises are over, we would continue acting like junkies hooked to our daily fix of faffing about on the benches and laughing at jokes narrated before leaving the Garden. A morning without this customary ritual would render the day incomplete.
Siba Prasad Maitra:
I got the message. I will try to be there straight from gate-to-garden for the exercises. But I might be late at times. Hope you all will excuse.
Bihari Milwani (from San Francisco):
Siba Prasad Sahib, please do not lose your identity just to prove the blog wrong. Keep up (with your walking) and highlight your identity!
Karun H.Sharma:
It was interesting and frightening to know from Mrs Bose that there are some unwritten rules in the Club and it seems she controls these unwritten rules. Ragging has already started and this is different. I am enjoying it.

Double Do

Kajal Babani (c) prepares the plates

After celebrating her birthday on December 17, Kajal Babani had a second do today – this time much more elaborate, with platefuls of Chinese spring roll, phapda, methi vadi, kanda bhajiya, khari biscuits… and of course, hot tea.
Many saw this as an extended celebration (from Saturday), while others took it to be a double birthday treat.

Karun Sharma and Bijoy Gupta

Either way, Kajal became the enviable recipient of two beautiful floral bouquets – one, presented by Siba Prasad Maitra and the other, by Kiran Prakash. Nobody in the Club has ever been doubly felicitated in like manner.
But then,

Tuberose from Siba Prasad Maitra

it also speaks of the popularity Kajal enjoys as one of the younger members of Big Laaf. While most of us are in our sixties and seventies, this young lady has just about stepped into her fifties and will remain as much a “baby” to us as she was ten years back. On this happy occasion, we can only wish her the best -- that she retains her childishness, not to mention good health and abundant happiness in years to come.
Along the sidelines, we had Bijoy Gupta ‘educating’ himself in all seriousness on what it takes to be a life coach. (The trouble about Gupta

Rose from Kiran Prakash

is nobody takes him seriously and when he is serious, he becomes all the more funny.)

Party time, once again!

So when he learned that Karun Sharma, a regular for our exercises, is a professional life coach, he simply could not believe his ears.
“So you save people from drowning?” Gupta asked, obviously equating him to a lifeguard at Dadar Chowpatty. “Is that what you do?”
“Yes, I help people to stay afloat, swim happily through life,” Karun replied. “Kya baat hai!” Gupta was impressed but not completely convinced. “Did you study extra, undergo special training?”
Karun elaborated that his job is essentially to help people in distress – those bogged down by adversity or maybe, drowning in sorrow – and instill in them the confidence to navigate through life with joy. “It has much to do with the mind,” Karun explained. “But unless you are 100 per cent with me, there is little I can do to even keep you afloat.”
Whatever Gupta understood by that, he kept complimenting Karun: “Kya baat hai! Kya baat hai!!”
Bihari Milwani (from San Francisco):
17th December celebrations were as per English Calendar. And today's celebration was as per Indian Calendar.
Correction: 17th December celebrations were as per Solar Calendar. And today's celebration was as per Lunatic Calendar. --Blog Monster

Too Much Too Soon

Mallika Kagzi proposes a Diwali treat

Shekhawat and Razia Khan strike a specious deal

Some people eat to live. Some people live to eat. And then there are wise people like us who prefer to take a round-about route: We live to exercise… so that we can eat.
Mallika Kagzi made this amply clear today when she announced that she would like to give the Club a Diwali treat before the year runs out. “I am sorry this has got delayed,” she said. “But I could not help it as I was down with dengue during Diwali time.”
Many like Yusuf Rassiwala urged her please not to bother and if at all, she could perhaps think of a Diwali treat next year. Kiran Prakash tried to deflect the issue by suggesting we refrain from a communal “us” and “them” approach on treating one another, but to no avail. “Our Diwali treat is long overdue,” Mallika maintained.
There is another aspect to this issue. We have barely 10 days left for the year to go and there are already three mega treats lined up within this period – Kajal Babani’s on December 21, Razia Khan’s on December 24 and Siba Prasad Maitra’s on December 31. A fourth one squeezed in would appear too much too soon – more so, when 2017 opens with Qadeer Banoo’s birthday and the Club’s New Year celebration slated for January 2.
Meanwhile Shekhawat resumed his exercises today, having recovered fully from the asthmatic attack last week (ref post of December 14). Looking young and recharged in red T-shirt and a close cropped haircut, he was back to his former antics, jumping all over the place like a Duracel bunny. After the exercises, he made an announcement confirming Bijoy Gupta’s info of he bequeathing a Rs5 crore property to Razia Khan (ref post of December 15), but with a caveat: She would also have to bestow part of her wealth of like value to him and together, the amount shall be donated to Big Laaf after their death.
Deal done, Razia shook hands with Shekhawat on this amid a round of applause.

Day 2109

Pic of the Week

NEED MORE BE SAID?

This is one city where you can find only BIG LAAF members and their pet partying and enjoying themselves. --Kiran Prakash

Abhi to party shuru hui hai! --Geeta Latte

Third Weekend Treat

Photo op with the birthday girl

Being the third Saturday of the month, it was Kajal Babani’s turn to treat the Club today – more so, since it happened to be her birthday also. The last two Saturdays of December were taken by Khatoon Baig (ref post of December 3) and Yusuf Rassiwala (ref post of December 10).

Geeta Latte and Kajal Babani

But Kajal had a family commitment to keep. Her nephew was getting married this morning at a gurudwara in Khar and she needed to be there as well.
Nevertheless, she managed to take time out to make an appearance in the Garden and hang around long enough for us to rejoice and play the fool with her.

Siba Prasad Maitra gives Kajal his blessings

It was nice of her and hubby Dilip Babani to “sweeten our mouths” on the occasion with lozenges and pose for keepsake photos with members of the Club.
Remarkably, Geeta Latte had brought along a packet of coconut cookies from Goa to

Bihari Milwani

supplement the sweets and together,
they made for a joyous and fun-filled morning.
As celebrations go, we seem to be heading towards an action-packed phase from next month. Apart from scheduled birthdays, there’s a New Year’s bash in the offing on January 2 for which preparations are already on. There’s also talk of having a picnic- cum- Sports Day – possibly at Sanjay Gandhi National Park (like the last time) in Borivli with games like spoon race, thread the needle, tug of war, etc. being drawn up. In February, there could even be a novel Valentine’s Day celebration – yet another first for the Club.
Meanwhile, here’s wishing Bihari Milwani an enjoyable trip to San Francisco. His daughter is settled there and she has invited him for Christmas with the family. He flies out with his wife today evening.
Kiran Prakash:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Kajal. Many happy returns of the day. Stay blessed!

Keeping Count

We are turning multi-lingual

Siba Prasad Maitra today introduced a new method of counting to break the monotony of exercises. “Ack, Dui, Teen, Chaar, Paach, Chhoy…” he rattled in Bengali.
Yusuf Rassiwala countered with “Ek, Beh, Traan, Chaar, Paanch, Chha…” in chaste Gujarati.
Karuna Waghmare pitched in with “Ek, Don, Tin, Chaar, Paach, Saha…” in Marathi.
Mallika Kagzi and Bhaswati Bose joined in Memoni and Assamese respectively. Not to be outdone, Banoo Apa reeled in Pashto: “Yaw, Dwa, Dray, Celour, Penza, Shpez, Owa, Ata, Naha…” She had become unstoppable.

Manisha Kolhe

Hands flailing in the air, she went on and on, making peculiar noises like noesh, jhaish, yawjhaish, dodresh, drodesh, salordesh… which sounded cute and surely,

Karuna Waghmare orchestrates the birthday song

came as music to our ears. “I am hearing this for the first time,” Maitra remarked truthfully.
Banoo stopped. She had suddenly acquired an exalted status -- of one more knowledgeable than plebians like us and a phorener at that! After her, nobody’s counting mattered. And before long, we relapsed into one, two, three, four… and so on, for all that was worth.
Meanwhile, Mallika and Razia Khan got into a funny altercation with Arun Patil. He objected (as usual) to their sticking together and chatting non-stop while the exercises were on. Nahid Khan observed they were “deeply in love” with each other and tried to separate them.

Manisha with guests at her birthday bash

Within moments they were back together chatting away, only to invite a fresh volley of reprimands from Arun.

Razia, Nahid and Mallika discuss love

“You cannot separate lovers,” Razia retorted, quoting from an Urdu couplet. “The farther you keep them, the closer they get. Distance makes the heart fonder.”
Mallika had turned red in the face. Nahid intervened by arguing that it is plain commonsense that the longer you are together, love keeps growing. Razia did not obviously agree, but before she could retaliate, Arun went hammer and tongs at her. “Keep your discussions after the exercises,” he bellowed.
But after the exercises, Manisha Kolhe took over. Dressed in an exquisite aquamarine ensemble with large floral prints, she celebrated her birthday (December 9) in style this morning with a fabulous selection of savories. Clearly, she is a votary of Yusuf Rassiwala (ref post of December 10) and others who uphold the view that the human body needs seven nutrients to stay healthy – chakli, tomato sticks, methi wadi, mawa cupcake, khari biscuit, cake toast and chikkis.
Mallika Kagzi added an eighth – piping hot tea.

“Good News”

Gupta regaling his audience with Razia Khan

Bijoy Gupta came in today with an extra spring in his step. “I have good news for Razia Khan,” he announced excitedly. “Actually, there’s some bad news for her also. She will have to throw a party after I break the good news. But that I will do after the exercises.”
Accustomed to Gupta’s wicked sense of humour, Razia instinctively dismissed him. But Gupta was unrelenting. The moment the exercises got over, he gathered a crowd around him and announced with much drama that Shekhawat would be bequeathing his Rs50 million property at Runawal Towers to Razia.
“He told me yesterday to engage a lawyer to draw up a deed,” Gupta elaborated.

Siba Prasad Maitra (in foreground)

“I had gone to leave him home after he fell ill in the Garden ( ref yesterday’s post). We were in the lobby waiting for the lift when Shekhawat confided in me that he wishes to write off his Runawal flat in Razia Khan’s name. Isn’t that great news?”
The joke was not lost on anybody, including Razia. But she was soon to face the combined ‘fury’ of Fahmida Khan (“Why not me?) and Mumtaz Jahan (“Why this partiality?”), stridently staking their claims. Gupta tried to broker peace (“Shekhawat sees you all as his esteemed sisters”),

Tickle-tickle laughter-laughter... over Internet jokes

deliberately making a fool of himself and sending his audience into fits of rapturous laughter.
If Gupta is a master of boisterous buffoonery, Siba Prasad Maitra is in a separate class of his own. His low-key, tongue-in-cheek humour was on display today as he had come ahead of his usual time and was understandably bored as the exercises were taking too long for him. “Why are we doing the same exercise again and again?” he complained at one point. At another point, he pretended he could not see the person conducting the exercises. Quickly he corrected himself saying he was not wearing his spectacles, only to invite the riposte: “Okay, your eyes may be useless. But you can surely hear him. Or are your ears also useless?”
Volumes can be written on Maitra’s brand of interactive one-liners, but that will have to wait. Meanwhile, here’s the real good news: After that brief scare yesterday (see post), Shekhawat is now hale and hearty, relaxing at home. “There is nothing to worry,” his wife assured, having consulted a doctor last evening. “He has been advised complete bed rest.”
Siba Prasad Maitra:
I wish Shekhawat-ji goes through the blog and sees how Mr Gupta had converted his saalis into sisters -- that too, with a huge promise to Razia. Well done Gupta-ji!

Medical Crisis

Shekhawat in distress

A medical emergency arose this morning when Shekhawat suddenly developed acute palpitation and breathlessness in the middle of the exercises and had to be rushed home in a serious state. His condition is said to have ‘stabilized’ since. According to his wife, he has been resisting a visit to the hospital as

Bijoy Gupta escorts Shekhawat in Arun Patil's car

he prefers to stay put at home.
The crisis occurred in the course of our free-hand exercises when Shekhawat, in typical playful manner, scampered around the circle vigorously flapping his arms out and in. All of a sudden he turned silent and withdrew to a bench at a distance under a tree. In five minutes, he appeared to be in deep distress. His breathing had become labored and he was unable to talk.
He was given water to drink and fortunately, it made a difference. He gathered the strength to walk up to another bench, but sat down again. That was when it was decided to send him home. Arun Patil volunteered to drive him down in his car and with Bijoy Gupta as escort, Shekhawat was taken to his doorstep and in the care of his wife.

Mallika Kagzi is back with her magic tea

That Shekhawat is a heart patient and had undergone a bypass surgery in mid-2013 is known to all. What is not so well known is that he suffers from an asthmatic condition also, for which he has to often resort to an inhaler and medication. The problem, it seems, gets aggravated during winter time. To compound matters further, he was running temperature since yesterday

Arun Patil gets some sage advice from
Yusuf Rasswala and Banoo Apa

and had come to the Garden with a sore throat this morning. His wife had advised him against taking chances and to better rest at home. But “he had turned a deaf ear” to her, she complained.
Against this grim backdrop, Mallika Kagzi brightened the atmosphere by infusing a sense of déjà vu with her hot, home-made tea served with a smile in white, styrofoam glasses – an experience we had been missing for ages. A confirmed ‘tea teetotaller’ like Kiran Prakash (who needs to be otherwise appeased with bottled Amul Kool) was seen asking for refills of Mallika’s prized tea.
And then there was Arun Patil being educated in confidence by Banoo Apa and Yusuf Rassiwala on why he should stop being rigid about enforcing discipline, or else be prepared to be nicknamed ‘Arun Kaitley’. “You don’t have to constantly behave like a kettle on the boil,” Banoo Apa advised.
Arun simply smiled, clearly flattered by the bizarre analogy.
Kiran Prakash:
Mallika's TEA may be tea for the commoner. For me, it is NECTAR. Unke haath mei JAADU hai.
Geeta Latte:
Get well soon, Shekhawat Uncle.

Pet Gripes

Karuna is in yellow, seated on the extreme right

Not everyone among us is capable of pulling off all the exercises to perfection, from start to finish. Physical infirmity, personal prejudice, even plain sluggishness tend to get in the way. Notable exceptions are people like Yusuf Rassiwala and Nahid Khan.
For the rest of us, there are many who remain seated while flexing their limbs through the hour-long routine. Some would skip a drill or two.

Rukhsana Khan celebrates Eid-e Milad
with cake rolls

Nahid Siddiqui does not bend down or turn her head around because of a severe vertigo issue. Tara Chand Seth tries his best to swing his arms about, but cannot perform the free-style swimming or backstroke numbers properly. Kanta Sharma refuses to beat her chest during the tai-chi round as she relates it to an act of mourning the dead.
Today, Karuna Waghmare came up with a new one when she suddenly chirruped on doing away with the tai-chi round.

Bijoy Gupta prefers breathing
exercises to tai-chi

“This is ping-pong-ping exercise,” she reasoned in all seriousness. “Modi is trying to drive away the Chinese. So why should we be doing their exercise?”
Bijoy Gupta also does not like the tai-chi exercises and simply walks away. He would much rather do his yogic breathing exercise all alone. But then, he has a far bigger problem to reckon with. For many years now, Shekhawat has been on his case during the kissa kursi ka round, urging him to lower himself

Yusuf Rassiwala and Shekhawat holding their morning durbar

by folding his knees double, the way some others do.
Initially Gupta tried to wriggle out of the situation by joking that those capable of sitting on their haunches for long “suffer from defective knee joints”. Fact is Gupta is scared that his knees would not be able to bear his body weight and he might even topple over, especially when attempting to stand up.
Shekhawat understands this, but still insists that he goes “down, down, down…” if only to see how Gupta would topple over. “Don’t compare me to others,” Gupta has pleaded. “They are doing some other exercise. What I am doing is the correct one!”
When this also failed to keep Shekhawat’s mouth shut, Gupta came up with a brilliant gem: “What’s wrong with you? You need treatment. See a mouth doctor and tell him that every morning at exactly 7:20 a.m., I can’t help shouting ‘down, down, down…’ Believe me, it is a bimari and you need to find a cure!”
This time Shekhawat too burst out laughing.
Karun Sharma:
This is a new family for me. I have started exercising and am finding the group very compatible. There is a lot of similarity I share with the members. My bonds are going to be stronger.
Kiran Prakash:
You are most welcome, Karun-ji. Please do come regularly and also get involved in post-exercise 'gup shup'. You will enjoy more. All the best. Keep laafing!