December Bookings

Yusuf Rassiwala (in white tee) agrees to host treat on December 10

Today something strange happened. As against the daily norm of five or six, there were as many as 15 members to start the exercises this morning. Over the next one hour, the number ballooned to almost 30. And it wasn’t even a Saturday when the lure of free refreshments after the exercises usually draws people in hordes to the Garden.
This set into motion a crazy exercise of allotting each Saturday next month to one ‘benefactor’ or the other who would want to host a treat for the Club. Khatoon Baig had already booked the first Saturday, i.e. December 3 for reasons she knows best. The third and fifth Saturdays are also pre-booked – December 17 being Kajal Babani’s birthday and December 31, Siba Prasad Maitra’s. That left the second and fourth Saturdays blank. Happily, it did not take long for Yusuf Rassiwala and Razia Khan to agree filling in on December 10 and December 24 respectively. In the process, all five Saturdays of December have been 'properly' taken care of and we can now be assured of full attendance – at least on those days. More importantly, there will be no overlapping of effort in hosting the treats... or so is the excuse being made out!
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Big Laaf Club has ensured that there are physical exercises and laughing interjections to keep members in good health. The picnics came as an event to be enjoyed away from the daily hustle and bustle of a crowded city. I did not realise that now we have started paying equal importance on the post-exercise bellyful treats. Good luck to everyone!

Next Hijinks

In search of some action...

We have barely been able to catch our breath after the last picnic on Saturday and already the search for the next high jinks has begun. In the absence of anything fresh, planning for the Rajasthan tour, scheduled two months hence between February 5 and 11, 2017 (ref post of November 7) is being revived.
As things stand, 26 members have signed for the trip. Their rail tickets have been booked, barring that of Siba Prasad Maitra who shall be travelling by air with his wife. Now, Yusuf and Niloufer Rassiwala also want to travel by air (of course, subject to availability) and cancel their rail tickets.
So far so good, just that Santosh Tyagi has started getting the heebie jeebies. She makes no secret of counting heavily on Yusuf R’s company in the train and should he cancel his tickets, she would rather drop out of the trip. “Cancel my tickets also,” she urged this morning. “My head is already spinning. I am getting nervous!”

Santosh Tyagi

Yusuf Rassiwala

Santosh has reasons to be anxious as she had been robbed of her valuables at Meerut Station on a Club trip to Vaishno Devi three years back.
In Yusuf R’s absence, Kiran Prakash assured her that there would be many other Club members, including himself, sharing the same compartment with her on the train. "If needed, I will be standing by your berth holding a naked sword to protect you through the journey," he promised her.
But that is hardly reassuring for Santosh, who does not realize that Kanta Sharma is counting on her company and should she cancel her ticket, chances are the latter would also drop out.
Kanta does not know who is counting on her and in that eventuality we could well witness an unstoppable domino effect across the board – all because Yusuf R has taken a sudden fancy to travel by air.
Talk of hijinks and we don’t have to wait too long.

Post-Picnic Celebrations

Banoo Apa hosts a chai-samosa party with biscuits

They haven’t stopped laughing yet. Each of the ‘picnickers’ (as distinct from those who did not make it to Saina Resort on Saturday) reported to the Garden today with their teeth still out. In spite of repeated reminders to regain their composure and concentrate on the exercises, they kept chattering about the picnic (ref post of November 26) and laughing their heads off. Clearly, nobody was in any mood to get over the day's madness and revert to normal life.
Banoo Apa declared that never before had she felt “so happy on a picnic” and that she would like to celebrate with tea and samosas after the exercises.

Event managers Kajal Babani and Bhaswati Bose

Everybody agreed it was by far the most successful picnic from the Club and much of the credit should go to Bhaswati Bose and Kajal Babani who had organized the games and variety entertainment.

Rukhsana Khan (second from rt) celebrates with Iraqi dates

Arun Patil wanted a special round of applause for the duo while Rukhsana Khan chipped in with a box of soft, succulent dates her daughter, Afreen had brought down from Iraq.
Of course, the biggest applause was reserved for Shekhawat who had sponsored the bus hire. He was however, more anxious to cock a snook at his bête noir Bijoy Gupta for backing out at the last moment and thus “missing the opportunity of a lifetime”. Shekhawat showed him images in a camera of all the fun and games, provoking him with exaggerated stories till Gupta conceded that indeed he was the loser.
Like Gupta, there were Nahid Khan, Shanti Singh and a few others who could not make it, but joined the jokes over Fahmida Khan making a pass at Manisha Kolhe, the way Kiran Prakash addressed Khatoon Baig (supposedly his long lost love of 50 years) or say, Banoo Apa singing the Fevicol item song as a classical number.
Arun Patil confessed to getting stuck on ‘saala’ when he had to sing ‘Saala main toh sah’b ban gaya’ in English. It seems Banoo had prompted him with “brother-in-law”, just that it did not fit within the metre. So, of all the words, he settled for ‘bloody’ and went on to croon, “Bloody, I have become Englishman!”
Of these little anecdotes are lasting memories made.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Picnics, no doubt, are meant to be enjoyed. But it is also nice to enjoy the post-picnic memories. This can be very wholesome.

DAY 2090

Pic(s) of the Week

PICS FROM PICNIC AT SAINA RESORT, MUMBAI

Very nice photos. All the members enjoyed -- on the slides, swimming pool, food, housie, games... We played antakshari while coming back in the bus. Thank you Shekhawat-ji, you made our day with a very nice and entertaining picnic. Thank you Blog Monster for taking these photos of the picnic. --Dilip Babani


Lovely pictures. Well organised and in sequence. Covers everybody, the mood and spirit of the day. You feel it's all happening right before your eyes. But this also makes me sad. Our Blog Monster gets so engrossed capturing every moment and person that he forgets he too is there to enjoy the picnic. I am seriously thinking to snatch his camera next time and do the job myself. Or we hire a photographer. What's the point if the person who captures such rare moments does not himself enjoy. Food for thought. Think and respond please. --Kiran Prakash

Jeena issi ka naam hai! All photos are awesome. --Geeta Latte

Enjoyable photos. I wish I was also there. Blog Monster must also be photographed. It is not necessary to hire a professional photographer. Someone from the group can click the camera. --Lt Col Angad Singh

Saina Resort Picnic

Shekhawat with his 'Group of 36' at SAINA RESORT

If there were a measure for human stamina, our Club members would doubtless come out tops. From 7:30 a.m., the time 36 of them headed for the picnic at Saina Resort (ref yesterday’s post), they had been on their toes (well, most of them) without a moment’s respite in between.
They clowned about continually, joked and played funny games, splashed in the pool, stuffed themselves crazy, did the rain dance, raced down water slides like kids… also played two rounds of Housie and were still not done after 12 hours.

Dilip Babani and Yusuf Rassiwala

On the way back home, they played antakshari in the bus, lustily belting out film songs one after another like there would be no tomorrow!
In all this, there were a couple of highlights that would remain forever etched in our memory. The first was a comical Petticoat Game Karuna Waghmare introduced us to.

Shekhawat in petticoat

She brought her own petticoat, which Dilip Babani offered to try out first and believe it or not, actually succeeded in getting himself into it. But Shekhawat failed and got the petticoat in a twist while struggling to extricate his arms and ending up nearly shirtless!

Readying for the plunge

Only Shekhawat is capable of such a feat. This was just an add-on to the spectacle of grown-up men having to wear the pink petticoat and being made to slip a coin (without looking down) between their legs and aimed at a cup below. Those who failed had to crow like a demented rooster – the louder the better.

Rain dance

Kiran Prakash meets Khatoon
Baig after 50 years

The second and even more hilarious event of the day was the classic Passing the Parcel game, but with a naughty twist.
Without getting into its intricacy, suffice to say that we were witness to some of the most bizarre acts that none of us would be caught dead doing. Imagine Arun Patil singing Saala Main Toh Sah’b Ban Gaya in English or Renu Babani reciting ‘Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star’ in Hindi. Or Yusuf Rassiwala serenading his blushing wife with a romantic filmi ditty. Or Geeta Latte singing a Konkani song and Kanta Sharma, a bhajan, both for the first time. Or Banoo Apa having to convert the racy Fevicol item track to a slow-paced classical number…
Kiran Prakash enacted a situation where he was meeting his love interest (played by Khatoon Baig) after 50 years. Manisha Kolhe played a victim of eve teasing with Fahmida Khan acting a desperate roadside romeo. Minutes earlier, Fahmida pulled off another masterly act: an anxious groom lifting the veil of a shy, newly married bride (Zarina Khan) and mouthing the most cheesy lines imaginable!
Don’t miss the slide show of these memorable moments, tomorrow.
Kiran Prakash:
This was one picnic we will not forget in a long time. Enjoyed to the hilt. All thanks to Dilip for recommending the place and Shekhawat-ji for making reservations and organising the transport. Every minute of those 12 hours, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. was meticulously planned by Bhaswati and Kajal to entertain us. What began with diving in the pool, followed by rain dance, dropping a coin through the petticoat, Housie, songs, dances, mimicry and jokes ended with antakshari when the bus had almost reached our door step. Kudos to all for their enthusiasm and active participation in the activities which made it a great day.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is nice that the whole group had gone on the picnic and everyone enjoyed the day. It speaks well of the brotherhood of Club members. Be happy and keep making merry. I feel jealous of you all. I do not know when I shall be able to join you next.

Off to... Where?

All set for tomorrow's picnic

All dressed and nowhere to go… Or so it was this morning when it appeared that nobody had any clue where exactly we would be headed for the picnic on November 26 (tomorrow).
With less than 24 hours left, even Shekhawat could not confirm where he would be taking a busload of 30-odd passengers who had signed up for his picnic. All he could say was it is the “same resort Shanti Singh had gone to”. She was the only one to have been there (with another group) and after the exercises today, she was nowhere to be seen.
Confusion arose when Dilip Babani started pronouncing Saina as “Sania”, but insisted that the spelling was S-A-I-N-A. Now, there is another resort by the name of Sania, also in Malad, but with a catch.

Kiran Prakash celebrates 2nd anniversary
in club with chocolates

Dilip Babani

In order to reach there, we would have to take a boat at some point to cross a creek. To confound matters, Dilip pointed out that in order to reach Saina Resort, there were two options – one, you take the boat across a creek (which is a shortcut) and two, you take the roundabout route by road and drive straight up to the resort. He had checked this out on the Net.
But this was neither here nor there. The names were getting to be as confusing as Sania Mirza and Saina Nehwal.
Were it not for Kiran Prakash, we would well have left it to the bus driver to figure things out for us tomorrow -- in effect, allowing him to drive around town aimlessly all day. But there was also the question of Shekhawat booking the resort for us – Saina or Sania, whatever. In whose bank account had he paid the advance after all?
After much ado, Kiran Prakash and Dilip got hold of a telephone number Shekhawat had been communicating with and the mystery was finally resolved. It was indeed Saina. Kiran Prakash also noted the directions to the place – lest we find there are some more similar sounding resorts in the same area tomorrow.
Bihari Milwani:
Another best place to go for picnic is Oshiwara Railway Station. Nobody must have gone there as it is yet to be inaugurated -- on Sunday, 27th November 2016. Shekhawat will be more than happy as it will cost him nothing.

Picnic is On

Shekhawat (r) collecting cash for Saturday picnic

Shekhawat is back doing what he does best – organizing a picnic for the Club.
Already 21 members have signed up for the trip to Saina Resort on November 26 (this Saturday). Shekhawat requires nine more people in the next 24 hours to join his bandwagon if we are to avail of the ‘group discount’ he has negotiated with the resort – failing which, the picnic will have to be pushed to a later date. He is not averse to outsiders (read non- members) joining us, though they may have to be charged a 'premium' over what members are paying.
Going by popular sentiment, Shekhawat has agreed to pay the transportation (a 40-seater bus has been tentatively booked) costs while other expenses shall be borne equitably by the rest of us.

Swati Panjabi (r) with her bag of goodies

This puts to rest a raging dispute that had consumed the Club (ref post of November 22) for the best part of the past two weeks. In effect, this will be the first club picnic wherein members would stand to benefit by a double discount – one, that is offered by the resort and the other, courtesy Shekhawat.
That apart, Saina Resort would be one major picnic destination within city limits we have not visited so far from the Club. The resort is about

Bereaved: Tara Chand Seth

a two-hour drive from the Garden and is located on the Madh-Marve Road, near Malad. It boasts of an amusement park, waterfall, swimming pool, rain dance showers, water slides, etc. and the menu for breakfast, lunch and high tea comprises veg and (rather, unusually) non-veg dishes.
With preparations on in full swing, Swati Panjabi added a touch of sweetness by distributing chocolates and candies her son-in-law has brought down from the U.S. This is one simple-minded lady beyond compare who has constantly been giving, drawing us all together as her own family and expecting nothing in return. This can of course, be embarrassing at times, but such is Swati – selfless, even reckless but golden-hearted and generous to a fault.
In passing, here’s news for those who have been wondering where and why Tara Chand Seth had disappeared last week. Well, he is in Delhi, mourning the demise of his younger sister. She had been ailing for some time. Tara Chand left by the first available flight the same evening he was informed of the death. Let us pray for the departed soul.

44th Anniversary

Happy days are here again. As winter sets in and the morning air turns refreshingly cool, our exercises have become increasingly enjoyable by the day.

First bite of the anniversary cake

Small wonder, the turnout at the Garden had touched a remarkable high of 34 as members like Naseem Khan, Karuna Waghmare, Nahid Siddiqui and even Bihari Milwani showed up today to join the regulars.
Qadir Banoo was also there, back from a six month sojourn in Delhi and Jaipur.

Welcome back, Qadir Banoo

She marked her return with home- made kaju barfi and fried lentil – an unusual but ingenious combination that only raises your craving for more and more.
Sure enough, more was to come.

Just what are they up to?

It was Fahmida Khan’s wedding anniversary – the big event of the morning. She was there with her husband of 44 years and together they cut a pineapple cake from Eden to celebrate the occasion. After sharing the first slice, they laid out an assortment of packaged pastry and wafers, followed by Banoo Apa’s hot home-made tea. Fruit juice was also made available for those who preferred the cold drink to tea.
But more than the refreshments, the no- holds- barred banter and madness that followed were the biggest takeaways of the morning. Rarely have we had such large numbers congregating at one point outside the Garden and with Yusuf Rassiwala, Shekhawat, Fahmida, Dilip Babani and others “in the mood”, it was mischief- mischief all the way.
Mallika Kagzi, in particular, was in her elements,

Fahmida Khan's anniversary celebration

having almost recovered from her dengue spell. At the very outset, she threatened to square up on all she had missed in the “one month and three days” of her absence. “I know you people have all been feasting and making merry while I was away,” she said, squatting on the ground in style. “I am not going to spare anybody. How dare you enjoy when I was in distress?”
Yusuf R tried to pacify Mallika by saying that today’s celebration was in her honour, only to receive a mouthful from her. Dilip Babani also struck a conciliatory note, but to no avail. At one point she stood up and went charging at a startled Kiran Prakash, sending everybody helter skelter in sheer amusement. After all, in such situations, there is always someone or the other to provoke, adding fuel to fire. In sum, this was one morning that ended too soon. Time just flew by!

Magar Much!

ON THE BACKFOOT: Shekhawat (c) trying to make sense of the aggression around

The picnic imbroglio is getting to be… not too much or three much, but magar much – a stupid, intractable crocodile. This has been the sole subject of discussion in the Club for days on end, as if nothing else in the world matters any more. Our very existence now seems to depend upon the ‘free picnic’ we are supposed to go on, on November 26.
Shekhawat had made the mistake of offering to treat the Club to this picnic when he heard of being allotted a flat under a MHADA lottery scheme (ref posts of October 25 and 31). This was his way of sharing his joy with us on a potential windfall. Sadly, the flat turned out a disappointment and he had to reject the MHADA offer.
We all know this and ideally, the matter should have been put to rest at that point. But there are elements in the Club who would not let go Shekhawat – this, after extracting a grand Diwali party from him.

Khatoon Baig being mobilised to join picnic

With Bijoy Gupta also making a song and dance over this, the effort has been to shame Shekhawat for “not keeping his word of honour”. That no MHADA flat ever came through is being conveniently forgotten.
Clearly Shekhawat has some difficulty, obviously financial, and we must respect that gracefully.

Banoo Apa's morning 'tea party'

He tried to wriggle out of the situation by offering to selectively sponsor 10 members (another blunder) for the picnic. That was rejected. With pressure mounting, he offered to ‘donate’ Rs5,000 to the Club fund (a third mistake) and that too fell through. Now he is stuck with a strange commitment (fourth mistake) to bear our transportation costs for the picnic, as though he must pay a penalty for being nice to us. This is rather unfortunate and completely avoidable. It is not even funny. Nobody should ever be coerced into doing anything against his/ her wishes.
In all this, the only redeeming event of the morning was Banoo Apa turning up with hot tea and the famous Karachi Bakery biscuits from Hyderabad. She had gone there to attend a high profile celebrity wedding last week. Trust her to have kept us in mind for this delightful treat today.
Geeta Latte:
True love is born out of understanding.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
The picnic can wait. Enjoy the morning hot cups of tea and relax. Do not hanker too much after the free picnic, free transport, donations, etc. Be satisfied and enjoy whatever is with you.

Cash Crunch

The demonetization ‘demon’ has put paid to whatever was left of our picnic plans for November 26.

Santosh Tyagi celebrates son's birthday

Hot tea from Mallika Kagzi (l)

It did not however, deter Swati Panjabi from treating us to generous portions of freshly baked lola this morning, or for Santosh Tyagi to celebrate her son’s birthday with a box of sohan papri or for Mallika Kagzi to get us hot tea from home – something we had been missing since her hospitalisation with dengue last month. Effectively, it was party time all morning.
As for the picnic, Shekhawat had negotiated a decent deal (ref post of November 19) with the resort owners at Malad last Saturday. The question now is how would the money be collected from members? Shekhawat had initially offered to accept cheque payment from those who were strapped for cash (given the current restrictions on bank withdrawals).

Swati Panjabi gets fresh lola for us

Shekhawat (r) ponders over liquidity crisis

“Pay by cash or cheque, whatever you please,” he announced bravely.
Before long he discovered that almost everybody was suffering from a severe cash crunch on their domestic expenses and would rather drop out from the picnic. Some like Yusuf Rassiwala cheekily offered to pay in “old 500 and 1000 rupees notes”, which have ceased to be legal tender. Shekhawat developed cold feet the moment he realized that there was no way he could account for the cheques he was asking for. “I can take ‘self cheques’, but how am I to encash them?” he wondered aloud. “Who will run to banks and stand in long queues all day?”
The long and short of the story is that the picnic has been consigned to the back burner!
Kiran Prakash:
I am shocked to go through today's blog and learn about the cash crunch. Shekhawat, on his own (and as reported in this blog on 31st October) had counted three options. One of them was that he "was prepared to take us on a free day-picnic anywhere within Mumbai’s metropolitan limits – the venue, of our choice". To me it appears there are elements who do not want Shekhawat to have the pleasure of sponsoring a picnic. Who are they?
Bhaswati Bose:
It is not 'they'... It is only one element defending Shekhawat-ji and playing spoilsport -- the Blog Monster!
Kiran Prakash reacts:
What are you talking? I can't believe this. Blog Monster cannot be so cruel towards the members. Blog Monster has always been empathetic and compassionate!!!
Siba Prasad Maitra:
I am also shocked reading today's blog on the cancellation of picnic. Though this has not been mentioned, putting it "in the back burner" means either cancellation or postponement. Today I found Blog Monster was too kind to Mr Shekhawat and that may be the reason for this development. This is also endorsed by Mrs Bose in her comment. Out of the three options Shekhawat had given us, one was party in his house. I believe for such a party, there won't be any currency crunch. Otherwise, in future, we will not believe him on any promise.
Kiran Prakash adds:
Mr Maitra is honest and forthright in his comment. I totally agree with him.
Kajal / Dilip Babani:
It is amazing how one person's view can change the whole thing. Initially plan was of full picnic. Then bearing transport cost. Now fully paid picnic. What happened to the golden words -- 'Promises once made can't be broken'? Not fair to break it on one person's view and not thinking of everyone's happiness.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Demonetisation has put everyone on a cash crunch. There is no harm sitting in dear Shekhawat's cosy home and for a change, enjoy the picnic with Rajasthani stuff.

DAY 2083

Pic of the Week

"HAPPINESS IS LAUGHING TOGETHER" --Orhan Pamuk

The THREE MUSKETEERS are hand in gloves. Expect something mischievous from them soon. Keep watch! --Kiran Prakash

Kya baat hai! Very nice picture --Geeta Latte

HOLY TRINITY: It is no coincidence that Kiran means ‘ray from sun’, the giver of life or Lord BRAHMA himself. Dilip means ‘protector’. He is an ancestor of Ram, the seventh avatar of Lord VISHNU. And Siba is… yes, you got it! So here you have Brahma- Vishnu- Mahesh in happy conjunction at Planet Big Laaf –Blog Monster

Are they also managing the cycle of the entire universe... err Big Laaf? --Kiran Prakash

With this TRIMURTI around, our club is in good hands! --Bhaswati Bose

How can it be in good hands if the Trimurti are hand in gloves? --Kiran Prakash

Kisi ne sach kaha: "Har roz itna muskaraya karo ki gum bhi kahe, 'Yaar, kaha fass gaya'!" You can make this out from the picture.Thanks to Big Laaf for capturing the right moment. But we would also like to see pics of Blog Monster which we will click. --Siba Prasad Maitra

Now, Paid Picnic

Swati Panjabi is back... with a bang

Swati Panjabi returned today from a nine-day whirlwind tour of Punjab, Haryana, Delhi and Uttar Pradesh. The “most memorable” places of her visit, she said were the Golden Temple of Amritsar and Taj Mahal at Agra and she had a load of crispy revdis and soft, crunchy matthis to show for them. Siba Prasad Maitra pitched in with piping hot tea from a nearby chai stall and accompanied by the usual joking and jesting, our quota for end- of- the- week fiesta was taken care of.
Swati’s return had another salutary effect. She revived the picnic plans for November 26, which had almost been abandoned following the showdown last Thursday (ref post of November 17). Swati was obviously out of the loop. She realized something was amiss only when Yusuf Rassiwala and Maitra proposed that we must not cancel the picnic and whatever be the expenses, we would all chip in and go ahead with our plans. Just because Shekhawat would not pay does not mean we should not go for a picnic, they argued. Bijoy Gupta studiously distanced himself from all this, for obvious reasons.
Swati promptly cornered Shekhawat on why he was now backtracking on his promise to “take the Club on a free picnic”.

Siba Prasad Maitra (ext left) treats everyone to hot tea

Soon the 'terrorists', Bhaswati Bose and Kajal Babani joined her, though it must be mentioned in all fairness, that nobody should be singled out to be pressurized, especially where expenses would run into several thousands. Surely Shekhawat (or anyone else) is under no obligation to bear such a huge financial burden for Club members, regardless of whether he can afford it or not. This would be setting a wrong precedent.
Even then Shekhawat offered to bear the transportation costs to and fro for the picnic and spoke to the resort (recommended by Dilip Babani) management on phone for a group discount. He struck a good deal, only to invite fresh demands, this time to bear the expenses at the resort instead of transportation.
Hidden in all this talk for freebies is the inescapable prospect of an overwhelming response, even from members who do not ordinarily join us on picnics. After all, who does not want a free lunch – and a joyride thrown in?
Kiran Prakash:
Mr Maitra strikes back! As I had predicted on November 12 (in this blog) Mr Maitra has once again, felt like treating us today with piping hot tea. Thank you very much, Maitra Babu. Your dreams have really come true. God bless you.

Comedy Flashback

Manisha Kolhe celebrates her return with choco-barfi

Members debate whether to pursue the picnic idea after yesterday's showdown

It’s been over two months since we staged a play, ‘Soney Ka Haar’ as part of the Club’s Annual Day function (ref post of September 10). It was an amateurish effort, but memories of that experience haunt us still – the snappy dialogues, catch-phrases and punch lines resurfacing in our everyday conversation with comic effect.
So every time we get to have good, home-made tea from Banoo Apa or Mallika Kagzi, someone or the other would sound off a compliment with Kiran Prakash’s popular one-liner from the play, “Aapke haath mein jaadu hai!" (You have magic in your hands). It instantly rings a bell.
Or say, Santosh Tyagi, whenever Arun Patil reminds her about wearing her cap, we are almost certain what her response would be: “I have lost my gold chain and here you are bothered only about the cap?” This was her line.
Today, Bijoy Gupta sent us reeling with laughter when he exhumed a forgotten, but eminently hilarious line from the play. Manisha Kolhe was away at Nagpur since Diwali and had reported to the Garden only this morning. Instead of greeting her cordially (as others did), Gupta sprung a surprise by making a slimy pass: “Is your husband at home?”
This was Shekhawat’s famous line to Manisha from the play. But for a moment, even she was caught off-guard. Only when she saw us all cracking up did she connect with that audacious remark and burst out laughing. “Aapka matlab?” she retorted, appropriately.
Manisha celebrated her return from Nagpur with choco-barfi, instead of the santra-barfi we had requested her to get. It seems she had brought the special delicacy from India’s ‘Orange City”, but could not reach us in time. She was struck by spondylitis and had been undergoing treatment at Kokilaben Hospital since her return from Nagpur.
She says the pain has subsided and she feels “much better” now.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
The choco-barfi proved not only a belly appetiser, but also a brain teaser to re-enliven the Annual Day one-liners.

‘Tom and Jerry’

Frenemies: Gupta and Shekhawat

Geeta Latte today hit the nail on the head when she described Bijoy Gupta and Shekhawat as Tom and Jerry – the ever popular cartoon characters who never miss an opportunity getting at one another’s throat. But then, there are consequences.
The news of Shekhawat taking the Club on a free picnic (ref previous posts) has spread like wild fire leading many in the Garden to wonder whether he could really be serious. After all, this is an expensive proposition and nobody has yet done anything so extravagant.
An eternal optimist, Gupta had tried to convince those doubters that Shekhawat is a man of his word and would never go back on his commitment. “Don’t forget, he is a fauji,” he told Navin Shah, an old friend of the Club.
That was yesterday evening. Today morning, when he narrated the incident, he was shocked to find Shekhawat acting wishy-washy.

Flashpoint: Gupta provokes Shekhawat

Let alone talk of the picnic, he was preventing Gupta from harping on the same topic again and again.“Why don’t you talk about something else?” he said. “Besides, my wife is not well. Until she recovers, there’s no picnic.”
Gupta instantly saw red. In his bid to drive Shekhawat mad, he went about proclaiming that there has been “a great betrayal with the Club” and quoted Navin-bhai

Harbhajan Singh

as having said that “in his entire life as a fauji, Shekhawat has not killed even a dog”. So obviously there is no question of him keeping a soldier’s word of honour.
One thing led to another with the confrontation between the two frenemies reaching flash point in full public view. Ultimately Shekhawat stomped away, threatening to shoot Gupta on the spot with a gun. “Go get your gun from home,” Gupta said defiantly.
In all the tamasha over a silly picnic, there was one welcome development. Our new friend, Harbhajan Singh smiled for the first time today. He has been exercising with us for some weeks, but nobody has ever seen him to (really) laugh or smile. His wife, who accompanies him to the Garden every morning says that he is not grumpy, but a “serious man” by nature.
Turns out, they are from Delhi and he is here for treatment (post a hernia operation) at Kokilaben Hospital. Doctors are yet to diagnose the severe pain that occasionally grips him around his chest and upper back. This keeps him disturbed and in low spirits. But today, something about us had amused him so much as to smile for a while. Full credit to Gupta and Shekhawat!
Geeta Latte:
Thank you so much!
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
For a change, Gupta-ji and Shekhawat-ji should sit together over a drink. Let them relax, feel happy and be merry. It will change their mood and enable them to forget about the free picnic. Let us enjoy the usual paid picnics of the past. Such events have given us more warmth and happiness about which we have been talking a long time.

Curtain Raiser

Bijoy Gupta spells out his picnic plans

Bijoy Kumar Gupta kept his word. He began the morning where he left yesterday and presented a colorful curtain raiser on what he meant by “putting Shekhawat on top of Lal Qila” till the 26th of this month – the day the latter is supposed to take us on an all- expenses- paid picnic.
The best part was that Shekhawat enjoyed every moment being the cynosure of all eyes and willingly played up to Gupta’s rip-rollicking drama of mock veneration.
Before the exercises were over, Gupta ensured that everybody would stay back for "a meeting" on the November 26 picnic. He even joined Shekhawat in his rail-gaadi round, something he has always been loath to, what with all those derisive one-liners on Asaram Bapu.
Once we were done with the exercises, Gupta rushed to Shekhawat and respectfully escorted him to a bench he had got vacated moments earlier. Clearly, Shekhawat was made the ‘chief guest’ as no one else was allowed to share his bench.

Gupta seeks Shekhawat's approval

Thereafter, Gupta went on to announce the programme he had in mind for the picnic day. He said for starters, we would have a fashion show with television cameras and reporters from national dailies in attendance. “I have many contacts in the media to organize such a grand coverage,” he assured us. “Shekhawat shall be our guest of honour and he would crown the beauty queens with his own hands!”
Shekhawat’s eyes popped out. Suddenly he was on his feet,

Siba Maitra compliments Shekhawat

demanding that “there should also be 3D”. This time, Gupta was foxed. “Don’t you know 3D? It means Dinner, Drinks and Dance!” Shekhawat said jubilantly.
“Done,” Gupta agreed. “But before that, we shall have two containers, one having chits with the names of boys present and the other with the names of girls. You will have to dip your fingers into one container or the other to select your dance partner.”
“But where are you getting boys and girls?” Yusuf Rassiwala interjected. “We are all buddas and buddis here!” Gupta was unflappable: “Who says we are old? We are all young boys and girls. We are living our second childhood now.”
Well, that’s the spirit. On this there can be no contest.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
We are young people at heart and this is proved by our actions. We exercise first and then fill our bellies. Who says we are oldies? We are still fighting fit and can compete with any youngster in belly filling. However, Gupta-ji, please note: "Hunuz Dilli door ast"! Delhi is still far off.

Free Picnic

The plot thickens...

The terrorists have struck again (ref post of November 12). Aided and abetted by Bijoy Gupta, Kiran Prakash and others, they have zeroed in on another murga on their hit list – Hari Singh Shekhawat.
Their demand: a free picnic on November 26 (Saturday), or else…
Actually, Yusuf Rassiwala is also part of this extortion ploy; but for some reason, he did not turn up today. Yesterday morning, he had set the ball rolling by reminding Shekhawat of his “pending promise” to take Club members

Bijoy Gupta, rolling in laughter

on a free picnic after winning a MHADA lottery last month for a flat in a Virar highrise. (It is another matter that Shekhawat had since turned down the allotment.)
Today, in Yusuf R’s absence, Gupta took over and announced that on November 26, “nobody should carry even a rupee in the pocket” because Shekhawat would bear all expenses on the picnic that day.

Shekhawat welcomes Razia Khan on her return after two months

Shekhawat’s plea that he had already treated us to a Diwali party on October 31 fell on deaf ears.
Short of holding a gun to his head, his tormentors also dismissed the argument that let alone taking possession, he had not even accepted MHADA’s offer for the property. “In any case, don’t you think that it will be too cold in end-November to go to a picnic resort?” he asked lamely.
Dilip Babani had meanwhile checked out on a beautiful resort at Madh Island and hearing of the food and facilities on offer, Gupta went on a major overdrive praising Shekhawat to the heavens. The man who has hitherto not had a kind word for Shekhawat, now started calling him “Hero” and “Superstar” and soon after, he was raising slogans: “Shekhawat ki jai! Shekhawat ki jai!”
Not to be fooled, Shekhawat abruptly got up and walked away when he realized his chips were down for the day. But Gupta wasn’t giving up yet. “Just watch out, by 26th November I will put him on top of Lal Qila,” he spluttered with laughter. “After that, God help him!”

‘Floating Members’

A section of the 'freshers' (three from left) in today's exercises

Big Laaf is growing from strength to strength. With each passing day, new faces are showing up in the exercise circle, many of who stick on for good – just that we have been taking them all for granted. Put it to public opinion, promotion by word of mouth or the positive vibes we exude, these fresh entrants have led to a swell in our numbers.
Sadly, barring a Chanda Khadaria or Sunita Nagpal (who are already taken to be regular members), we do not even know the names of the many freshers. None of them has been formally introduced to us yet. Things often take an embarrassing turn when these people line up for the snacks/ refreshments after the exercises, little knowing that the treats are meant strictly for members only. Not that anybody has ever been turned away.

Managing Committee meeting of BIG LAAF in progress

But still, it has become incumbent upon us to apprise them on what it takes to become a bona fide Big Laaf member.
Today Kiran Prakash, in his capacity as Secretary, convened a meeting of the club’s Managing Committee, specifically to regularize these so-called ‘floating members’. They had to be brought on board, if necessary by relaxing the rules of admission and collecting the membership fees. More importantly, they needed to be told of what is expected of them once they join us formally.
After extensive discussions, the consensus was to embrace the present lot of freshers since all of them were regular and appeared to be sincere about the exercises. Kiran Prakash offered to brief them on the membership dos and don’ts and obtain their consent before collecting the necessary membership fees. The general feeling was that we must not be too rigid about enforcing admission rules, unless, as Bijoy Gupta put it, the “character of the person” was in question.
“There is no place for characterless people in this Club,” he trumpeted, the taunt directed at you-know-who!

DAY 2076

Pic of the Week

STYLE MAKETH THE MAN

When is the movie releasing with this handsome man in the lead role? Next Friday? --Kiran Prakash

Yesterday hero bana diya, aaj Pic of the Week. Thank you so much Big Laaf Club. Love you and GOD bless you all.  --Yusuf Rassiwalla

Hero with Hero Cycles? --Bhaswati Bose

Terrorists Strike

Siba Prasad Maitra makes peace with his terrorists

Bhaswati Bose and Kajal Babani have struck. The two dreaded terrorists of the Club had been targeting the most diffident and vulnerable male among us in order to extort a big breakfast treat from him. And being the perfect gentleman, Siba Prasad Maitra ultimately succumbed this morning.
“No-no-no… please do not get me wrong” he declared valiantly.

Host of the most...

“I am not a victim. I have always wanted to treat you guys and today was as good as any other day (for this). You cannot call a person a victim when he willingly wants to do something.”
Fact is there was no occasion for Maitra (it surely wasn’t his birthday today) to host such a lavish do – a fabulous spread of varied fries, salties and jalebis,

The mega breakfast treat

and of course, Banoo Apa’s home-made tea. Dilip Babani, as usual, picked up all the stuff early morning from our regular shop near Andheri Station. But more than the eats, it was for the fun-filled atmosphere of light-hearted ribbing, flippant jokes and random leg-pulling that the morning shall be remembered.

With Fehmida Khan

With Maitra in full flow, there was never a dull moment. He even started playing the fool with Fahmida Khan, putting his arms around her, giving her a deliberate peck on the cheek… just to drive Shekhawat nuts.

One-man firing squad

The self-appointed ‘jiju’ tried his best to reclaim Fehmida from Maitra’s clutches and succeeded, but only briefly.
More was to follow. For, the ‘terrorists’ were still not done with Maitra and went on to dictate the menu for his birthday celebration next month (December). He made the mistake of offering omelet sandwiches, chicken cutlets, etc. little realizing there were a few vegans also in the Club.
But that was enough to raise aspiration levels and soon there were demands for a two-kilo cake, which progressively rose to five kilos. Then there was the demand for a change in venue, the suggestion being a swank restaurant (instead of the pavement next to a bus stop) with a multi-course meal. Soon, the demand escalated to beverages, tea being a poor accompaniment for the royal feast. So now, he had to also provide for alcohol– whiskey for some, vodka for others… Before things got any further, Maitra, with all the courage and gumption at his command, made a gesture of gunning down all his tormentors and coolly walked away.
Siba Prasad Maitra:
Dear Blog Monster, you have made me a 'hero of the day' for nothing. Sharing tea and snacks with friends is no big deal. In fact, today's morning was made enjoyable by our members and the two 'dreaded terrorists' as mentioned by you and Kiran-ji for encouraging those terrorists to take action and Dilip-bhai for his extraordinary support. Thanks also to all the members who were present today.
Kiran Prakash:
Dear Maitra-ji, I thank you very much for your treat and kind words about us. I assure you that I will continue to encourage the 'dreaded terrorists' as often as I can. It is all the more important since this morning's treat of yours has given you so much pleasure. We have already discussed at length the next celebration on your birthday i.e. on 31st December. Nevertheless, if you feel like having something in between I will be too happy to encourage the duo plan it. Please do not hesitate to let me know.
Siba Prasad Maitra responds:
Thanks Kiran-ji. At present there is no such plan. I will certainly take your help if any such 'dream' comes true.
Kiran Prakash adds:
Dear Maitra-ji, I once again thank you very much for the treat and pray to God that all your professional, personal and Big Laaf-related dreams come true. We all at Big Laaf eagerly wait for such palate satisfying moments.