Dussehra 2017

Santosh Tyagi hosts Dussehra celebration today

The ten-day Dussehra festivities ended on an appetizing note with Santosh Tyagi treating us to ‘prasad’ from the puja she had organized at home. Boiled chana and suji halwa could not have tasted better. In addition, there was Banoo Apa’s magic potion – hot, hot tea to pep us up for the day.
Small wonder, we were a full house this morning. Many of those who had become scarce during the past few days (ref previous post) showed up miraculously just before the exercises were to end – but still in time not to miss the treat. More importantly, we had the rare opportunity of meeting Manoj and Anjali, Santosh’s son and daughter who accompanied her to celebrate Dussehra with us.
Earlier in the morning, Karuna Waghmare went around distributing sonpatta – literally, leaves from the ‘tree of gold’ (bauhinia racemosa). This ritual, with its roots in Hindu mythology, is a symbolic

Karuna (l) distributes 'gold leaf'

Getting the plates ready with Anjali (c)

gesture meant to convey wishes of good health and prosperity. Trust Karuna to have thought of this quaint and somewhat forgotten custom associated with Dussehra!
Otherwise, it was business as usual in the Garden. Anjali joined us midway into the exercises while her brother watched intently from a distance. Before long he left, leaving his mother and sister to take care of us.

DUSSEHRA GET-TOGETHER WITH SANTOSH TYAGI, MANOJ (IN BLACK SHIRT) AND ANJALI 

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
It is nice to celebrate the end of the Dussehra festivities. Congrats Santosh-ji and family.

Festival Fatigue

Being served rasogolla by Kajol at theTulip Star puja  

It’s been three days and already the Dussehra festivities have taken its toll on the Club. Barely a dozen members turned up for the exercises this morning. Siba Prasad Maitra, Bihari Milwani, Bhaswati Bose, Geeta Latte, Banoo Apa, Kajal Babani and many others were missing from action.
Among those present, Kiran Prakash and Bijoy Gupta betrayed signs of fatigue and sleep deprivation – obviously the effects of keeping late nights.
But then, it has been an incredibly busy festive season. Apart from Muharram coinciding with Navratri and Durga Puja, there are entertainment shows galore in almost every neighborhood.
The overtly pious are observing fasts and attending mata ki chowkis and night-long jagratas in celebration of the Mother Goddess.
There are also the footloose and fancy free, happily pandal-hopping every night when the traffic thins out.
Banoo Apa and Bhaswati did not show up presumably having tired themselves out after a Meet Brothers show last night

Bijoy Gupta confronts Nahid Khan on Laxmi's identity

at the Durga Puja celebration in Tulip Star Hotel, thanks to the passes Maitra had organised (ref previous post). In fact, this is one venue that has become almost second home to many, what with the sumptuous bhog served for lunch by Bollywood’s famous Mukherji family (that includes stars Kajol and Rani Mukherji) every afternoon. The other filmi ‘crowd magnet’ is the neighboring Lokhandwala Durga Puja hosted by yesteryear playback singer Abhijeet.
Significantly, Bijoy Gupta steered clear of all this starry madness and settled quietly for a Ramlila show near Versova last evening. And this morning he delivered a shocker. He accosted Nahid Khan to inform that he could easily detect Laxmi Hadimani through all her make-up and mannerisms as she played Lord Ram on stage. Nahid insisted that he was mistaken since Laxmi was with her till late evening yesterday, shopping. But Gupta was not convinced. He kept arguing that Nahid must have been day-dreaming or else, she was with some other woman!!!
Turns out the person playing Ram in yesterday’s Ramlila was a fair-complexioned, haughty female with a heavy voice, dressed as a handsome young man – befitting the persona of Lord Ram.

Geeta Latte:
Wah, kya baat hai, Kajol! 👍

Beyond Resorts

Arun Patil

Arun Patil today popped the proposal of a picnic, but not to any resort: “We have had enough of resorts, they are all the same. And yet, we spend too much time planning, checking their facilities, negotiating rates, adjusting dates to get maximum numbers on the bus and in the end, nothing happens. The picnic is abandoned.”
Instead, he suggested thinking beyond the resorts and setting out at short notice regardless of how many people join in or what it would cost. “There are so many scenic places in and around Mumbai we have no clue about. For instance, how many of us are aware of the Karnala Bird Sanctuary near Panvel? If that is too far, there is the Borivli National Park close by. We had been there and had enjoyed a lot. Just pack a lunch box and get out to explore nature. What is there left in resorts?”
Dilip Babani observed that even the local Byculla Zoo could offer

Show of jubilation and gratitude for Durga Puja passes

a picnic experience that no resort can match – more so, because it is unlikely any of us has ever been there. Nahid Khan pitched in to declare that going to resorts means “nothing but eating and eating” while others like Fahmida Khan and Zarina Khan opined that just about any place will do so long as we set out.
“The idea is to break out of the routine and enjoy the experience together,” affirmed Arun. “It does not matter whether any of us has been there earlier and yet, should anybody be reluctant to go, so be it. Nobody should be forced to join. The rest of us will proceed and divide the costs. And as for food, there are enough eating places at almost all picnic spots.”
Meanwhile, Siba Prasad Maitra played Santa Claus by producing passes for all the ‘starry nites’ at the Durga Puja celebrations of Tulip Star Hotel, Juhu (ref yesterday’s post). For the many fans of Sonu Nigam, Shaan and others, this was much like a dream come true. They triumphantly waved their passes around, much to Maitra’s amusement.

Harish Wadhwa:
Thanks Maitra-ji, you have indeed been very kind to us.

Durga Puja 2017

At the Lokhandwala Durga Puja pandal today 

Durga Puja began today with a customary visit to the neighboring pandal after the exercises. It was Mahasashti, the sixth day of the ongoing Navratra festivities. The Durga idol, resplendent in traditional finery, had just been installed and looked bright and welcoming in the early morning light. More than that, we could have the place all to ourselves as the crowds had not yet descended.
The action however, was localised at the Garden with members demanding that Siba Prasad Maitra provide entry passes to the entertainment programmes scheduled every evening, beginning today. The Durga Puja at Tulip Hotel in Juhu, of which Maitra is a senior member, boasts of a star line-up that includes Sonu Nigam, Shaan and Meet Bros over the next four days.
Quite clearly, Maitra was expecting to be mobbed, which probably explained why he showed up rather late today. But being the quintessential gentleman, he did not disappoint anyone and promised to do his best. He even invited us to the lavish and much-in-demand bhog hosted by the Puja every afternoon.
Meanwhile, in the Garden Fahmida Khan distributed pedas she had picked up from a recent visit to Nagpur. Her mother is unwell and she was there to see her. In all her “running around” (as she put it) she remembered us.

Banoo Apa treats us all to lassi

Fahmida gets pedas from Nagpur

The good news is that her mother is recovering fast.
The other important event of the morning was the lassi Banoo Apa brought for us. It was unusually hot and sticky during the exercises and nothing could have been as invigorating as this chilled refreshment, sweetened to perfection. There was however, a reason for us to get so lucky today. After Geeta Latte broke down yesterday (see post), Banoo Apa promised to treat her to lassi if only she stopped sobbing. We all got included in the treat, thanks to her.
Surely it pays to be a cry-baby once in a while.

Geeta Latte on WhatsApp:
Thank you so-ooooo much, dear Banoo Aunty. Lassi bahut achchi thi And wow, such beautiful pictures 👍👍!

Bhaswati Bose on WhatsApp:
Lipsmacking lassi! Just what we needed on a hot, humid morning. Thanks Banoo Apa.

Kajal Babani on WhatsApp:
Thanks, Banoo Apa!

Kiran Prakash on WhatsApp:
Fir shuru ho gaya Banoo Apa ka khilana... Thank you Banoo Apa.

Razia Khan on WhatsApp:
Thank you so-oooo much for your lovely and very tasty lassi and biscuits. Really I am very much thankful. God bless you. Take care and all the best.

Banoo Apa on WhatsApp:
My dear friends, you people have been drinking and eating whatever I get with so much love. So instead of you thanking me, I am thankful to you for giving me so much honour and respect.

Dilip Babani:
Very nice lassi, Banoo Apa-ji. Thank you very much. God bless you.

Tears and Smiles

Geeta Latte (c) is consoled by members

After the euphoric response on her photograph yesterday (ref: Pic of the Week), Geeta Latte today was driven to tears the moment she entered the Garden. She was late. In fact, she showed up after the exercises were over. But instead of politely hearing her through, everybody pounced upon her as though she had committed a grievous crime by coming late this morning.
A sensitive girl, Geeta found herself tongue-tied. She broke down like a child and left the Garden sobbing.
She was soon surrounded at the gate, the enormity of the situation having now dawned upon her friends. Short of apologizing, they tried to make light of the situation, assuring her that they meant no offence and it was out of love they had jokingly rebuked her.
By then, Geeta regained her composure and explained that much as she tries to be punctual for the exercises every day, she gets held up because of the ‘free yoga classes’ she conducts every morning in her neighborhood.
This was typically a case of taking liberties with a person we have become close to over time, with scant regard to her sentiments.

Qadir Bano (r) finds solace with Banoo Apa

Laxmi Hadimani (r) celebrates

We fail to draw the line in our misplaced belief that in the name of love, hurting feelings is excusable. If anything, today’s incident established that it is NOT. We have no right to violate anybody’s dignity -- least of all, someone we are fond of.
Quick to realize this, Kiran Prakash did some damage control by taking Geeta out (along with a few others) for a breakfast treat and brought about a sense of normalcy. Earlier in the morning, Laxmi Hadimani treated us to biscuits to celebrate her winning a court case over an ancestral property back in her village. It took her 15 years to get justice, she said.
Also on a happy note, Qadir Bano marked her return to the Garden, almost after eight months. We had given up on her as she stayed incommunicado all this while. But our joy was shortlived when she informed that her brother-in-law passed away recently, following a massive heart attack. He was married to her younger sister.

Geeta Latte:
Thank you so-ooooo much. Aap sab meri family ho aur mein aap sab ko bahut pyar karti hoon😊😊

DAY 2362

Pic of the Week

TODAY IS NATIONAL DAUGHTERS' DAY

Father explaining the features of new iPhone X before gifting to his daughter on this auspicious day. --Bihari Milwani

I am fortunate to have a daughter in Geeta Latte. She is an example of how one should conduct oneself. She is principled, lovable, lively and disciplined too. She not only loves human beings but animals too. She is compassionate and loves to see people happy. --Kiran Prakash

Papa taking mobile lessons from 'beti'? --Bhaswati Bose

All papas love their daughters. Some show it. Some keep it to heart. --Dilip Babani

Yes, 'Beti Padhao' means 'Beti Papa ko Padhao'. Geeta is a wonderful person, as mentioned by Kiran-ji.--Karun Sharma

Jo bhi zindagi mein naya sikha, woh papa se sikha... aur haan, iPhone X naya hai! 😁😁😁 --Geeta Latte

AGM: 2016-17

Kiran Prakash presents the Secretary's Report at the AGM

Kiran Prakash today took the Club on a trip down memory lane, covering the period April 1, 2016 to March 31, 2017. Peppered with wisecracks and witticisms, he recounted the many parties and get-togethers, housie sessions, seminars, calendar events, picnics, the two excursions to Kerala and Rajasthan as well as certain special celebrations like the Annual Day function and Mahamoorkh Sammelan that were held during the last financial year.
“We also lost two of our dearest colleagues, Laxmi Naidu on August 3, 2016 and Teja Singh Bhambra on October 12, 2016,” he added while presenting the Secretary’s Report at the third Annual General Body Meeting (AGM)

Bijoy Gupta in flow

of the Club in the China Hut this morning.
As many as 22 members took part in the meeting with Yusuf Rassiwala in the chair and flanked by Shekhawat (the other Chairman Emeritus), Kajal Babani (Treasurer) and all members of the managing committee, barring Razia Khan. The latter is away at Malegaon to attend the funeral of her mother (ref yesterday’s post).
Bihari Milwani also attended the meeting and presented the all-important Audit Report of the Club (along with the Balance Sheet) for 2016-17. Upon our request, he very kindly agreed to be reappointed as auditor for the current financial year – as always, without expecting a rupee (for his professional

Shekhawat says his good-byes before leaving for Rajasthan

services as CA) in return.
Furthermore, the AGM took stock of the existing membership, reviewing all admissions and resignations during the year and also ratified Yusuf Rassiwala’s official position in holding dual charge as President and Chairman (Emeritus). The general consensus was not to disturb the present arrangement.
A dispute broke out on the question of raising the subscription fees of members and after extensive discussions it was decided to charge a nominal Rs10 extra per month with effect from April 2018. The proposal to make members pay for their birthday calendars was however, struck down. All in all, this was a meeting, as enlightening as it was entertaining, befitting a laughter club.
But then, the best was reserved for the last -- long after the AGM ended and the crowd had dispersed. Bijoy Gupta, who had been tasked with staging a play for the Annual Day function on December 16, read out the first draft of his script to a small, select audience. Details of course, cannot be disclosed. Suffice to say that what has come through is a masterly laugh-a-minute, guaranteed to bring the roof down.

Shaher Banoo Khan (excerpted in translation from WhatsApp):
Dear Kiranji, you gave a very good performance in the morning. But you did not mention about the calendar and Pehchaan Kaun trophies. In my opinion they deserved special mention. These two remarkable awards are unique. I salute Big Laaf for this... You had laboured a lot on your script. If only you could remember these two items also. I hope you do not mind me saying so.

Kajal Babani (on WhatsApp):
This was the first time someone presented the Report so well. I think Kiran-ji did a wonderful job. Due to time constraints, some matters might have slipped his mind.

Bhaswati Bose (on WhatsApp):
Congrats Kiran-ji. Very good presentation.

Kiran Prakash (on WhatsApp):
Banoo Apa, thank you for your appreciation and encouragement. I missed that. Will certainly mention them in future. Thanks, Kajal and Bhaswati also.

Yusuf Rassiwala (on WhatsApp):
Kiran-ji, your presentation was really very good. Many congratulations to you for this. The way you picked every occasion out of your library and presented them certainly deserves credit. Dil khush ho gaya! May Allah bless you and your family.

Kiran Prakash (on WhatsApp):
Thank you very much Yusuf-bhai, for your kind words. I take them as your encouragement and blessings.

Geeta Latte:
Congratulations!

Dilip Babani:
Congratulations, Kiran-ji!

Festive Time

Yusuf Rassiwala reminds members of the AGM tomorrow

The sun broke through the clouds, bringing to an end a protracted spell of dark mornings with heavy rainfall through the week (see previous post). We cheerfully trooped out to reclaim our spot in the Garden, registering an attendance of close to 30 during the exercises.
The extraordinary turnout captured the spirit of the festive season, the nine-day Navratri celebrations having just taken off last night. It was also Rosh Hashanah yesterday for the Jewish community. And today was the start of Muharram, the first month of the Islamic calendar.
Not one to miss an occasion, Banoo Apa added to the festive cheer by treating us all

Bereaved: Razia Khan

to hot tea and biscuits. Few are aware of the kind of damage the rains had caused to her home and yet, she was all smiles and composed – this, knowing well that there is every possibility of the rains returning any time. Nobody, not even the weatherman, can be sure that the worst is over.
Meanwhile, Yusuf Rassiwala and Shekhawat reminded everybody about the club’s Annual General Meeting (AGM) tomorrow and insisted that all members be present in the China Hut by 8:15 a.m. after the exercises. In the absence of a quorum, the meeting would be delayed till 8:30 a.m. at the most.
Arun Patil informed that Razia Khan, a member of the managing committee, would not be able to attend the AGM as she is away at Malegaon for the last rites of her mother. She breathed her last earlier this week. Our condolences go to Razia and her family in their hour of bereavement.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
The magnanimity of Banoo Apa has to be seen to be believed. She did not bother about her own difficulties, but shared her happiness with all and derived more pleasure by making the club members happy. Good luck to her and her family.

Kiran Prakash:
Razia-ji, please accept our condolences on the demise of your mother. May her soul rest in peace. I also pray to God that He gives you the strength to bear this biggest loss of life.

Deluge Again

The spectacle on the way to the Garden this morning

Just as we thought that we were done with the monsoon this year, it has struck yet again with a vengeance. Yesterday morning when we assembled at the Garden, it was partly overcast and quite pleasant -- even breezy. No sooner had we finished with the exercises than dark, thunderclouds moved in and it began to rain camels and elephants. It rained all day, it rained all night. And it continued to rain in the morning today.
End result: We were only two in the China Hut before the exercises were due to start. Strangely, no one else was visible in the Garden, which had turned into large swathes of crystal clear water. Not even the resident crows and canines were visible. The condition was however, still better than the approach roads which were flooded like crazy with swirling drain water and muck, bringing vehicular traffic to a standstill.
While Shekhawat was debating aloud whether to call off the exercises, Dilip Babani walked in, soon to be followed by Kiran Prakash.

Today's bravehearts: (l to r) Shekhawat, Kiran Prakash, Dilip and Kajal Babani

Later, Kajal Babani turned up, as though she had lost her way. The presence of these ‘bravehearts’ saved the day.
In situations of low turnout, a major worry has been that of who would conduct the main exercises. As of now Nahid Khan, Arun Patil and Razia Khan have been handling this responsibility by turns with a fair degree of competence. There has never been a problem with this arrangement, except for that rare occasion when all three suddenly do the vanishing act.
Today was one such day. But then, this was not the first occasion for them to disappear together. With the rains playing havoc every other day, a similar crisis had arisen last Wednesday (ref post of September 13) when Kiran Prakash, very graciously volunteered to take charge. He began rather tentatively, but in the end pulled it off with remarkable ease and confidence. All of us heaved a sigh of relief.
By stepping in today and doing a repeat performance, Kiran Prakash was to prove that last time around, it was not a one-off show. More importantly, he is doing this when everybody else in the group is much senior to him in the Club and have been doing the same exercises for many more years. Surely, there is a lesson to be learnt in this.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
There are subtle changes in the seasons all over the world. India is no exception. In Punjab there was hardly any rain during the rainy season this year. Saavan ka mahina was almost a dry month. But Bhadon was wet. There were floods all over. Rain water entered houses in places like Chandigarh and Mohali. Cars were floating on the roads as though in a river. We have ignored nature's warnings and now we have to pay for our misdeeds. Unless we rectify our mistakes, we have to be prepared to bear unprecedented rains and floods.

Irons in Fire

Bihari Milwani

We have a few irons in the fire that urgently need attending to before the year is out. The most important is the club’s Annual General Meeting (AGM) for which we have received the audited accounts for 2016-17 from Bihari Milwani last evening. He has very kindly drawn up the balance sheet (in his professional capacity as C.A.) which needs to be presented

Managing Committee gears up for Annual Function

and passed in the AGM.
That apart, there are a few issues like membership review, formal ratification of the president’s appointment and possible reallocation of budget which also require the approval of the general body. The only problem here is that Shekhawat will be leaving on his Dussehra vacation for his village on September 23 (evening) and shall be returning not before October. Since the AGM has to be mandatorily convened on or before September 30 and Shekhawat's presence as Chairman Emeritus – along with Yusuf Rassiwala – is imperative, we are left with little option but to have this meeting next Saturday morning.
The other pressing concern is the Annual Function (ref post of September 6). Kiran Prakash today convened a meeting of the club’s Managing Committee and set the ball rolling for its preparation. The date, by common consensus, has been pushed to December 16 (Saturday). Other details are being worked out.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
These are some 'technical' requirements that need to be completed in time. Earlier we attend to them, the better it is.

DAY 2357

Pic of the Week

Attempt to 'culpable homicide not amounting to murder'?

It is not 'attempt to murder'. It is disciplinary action being taken by Commander-in-Chief  Shekhawat for not coming in time to exercise! --Bihari Milwani

Freedom Struggle

Razia Khan (l) demands azadi from Arun Patil (r)

After a long time, Razia Khan spoke her mind today: “The moment we are born, we are in the custody of our parents. When we grow older, our brothers take control over us. After marriage, we have to be under our husbands’ thumbs. As we age, we become answerable to our sons. At least in the Garden, we should be able to breathe freely. But here too we face restrictions, all because of Arun Patil. We want azadi!”
Arun had this coming. He has acquired the reputation of a hard-nosed disciplinarian, pulling up all and sundry for say, being late, forgetting to wear the cap, not exercising properly, causing disruptions, being over-talkative and so on.

Shekhawat chats up Zarina during exercises

After bearing the brunt of this offensive for long, Razia today showed the first signs of rebellion by picking on the way Arun had been conducting the exercises. “Nobody is perfect,” she reminded him.
Emboldened, Nahid Khan also took a defiant stance when Arun tried correcting her and before long, other ladies like Khatoon Baig, Nahid Siddiqui and Shanti Singh challenged his authority on insisting upon the cap.

War of words breaks out after the exercises

But Arun remained unfazed, prompting Bijoy Gupta to ask in mock seriousness, “Who made him Captain?”
If anybody rejoiced at this sudden turn of events, it was Shekhawat. Here is one man who is genetically programmed to be disruptive during the exercises and his inability to stand at one place for even a minute has been the cause for countless slanging matches with Arun. Today, he had to be repeatedly told to be serious while exercising and at one point, was directed to step out of the circle when speaking on his phone.
Predictably, Arun’s instructions fell into deaf ears. It was another matter that Gupta got curious about who could possibly be calling Shekhawat so early in the morning. But before the mystery could be resolved, Shekhawat had crossed over to sit beside Zarina Khan and chat her up -- all this as the exercises continued. In no time she broke into fits of uncontrollable laughter, much to Arun's consternation.
But all he could do was to glower at them -- helplessly.

Bihari Milwani:
Discipline is a must. Otherwise some of us may be doing the laughter exercises at 2 in the afternoon or 5 in the evening or even at 9 in the night instead of sharp 7 in the morning. And we would have never been able to form our loving laughter club, BIG LAAF.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Liberty (or azadi) is one aspect which all of us enjoy. But azadi does not mean that one can do whatever one wants to. It has got to be within limits. When we join a group/society/club, we should follow its rules. In such manner we will be better placed to enjoy ourselves. Passing hilarious comments is enjoyable. They make us laugh. Relax and enjoy.

Impromptu Celebration

The Big BIG LAAF Birthday Bash

It takes more than blind courage to brave an early morning thundershower – and the treacherous traffic, puddles and potholes -- just to be present for a birthday bash in the Garden. And yet it was this ceaseless downpour that made a captive audience of the 35-odd members and guests who had gathered in the China Hut today for what was to be a memorable, impromptu celebration.
They were all there – from Yusuf Rassiwala to Santosh Tyagi to Swati Panjabi, Harish Wadhwa, Mumtaz Jahan, Rakhi Bansi, Vandana Kankanwar and many others who had become scarce for some time. More significantly, Kajal Babani was also there, nursing an eye infection.
While the spotlight had to be on the birthday boy, it was Bijoy Gupta who stole the show with a couple of hilarious capers (spoofing Bose Babu) that brought the roof down.

With love from Yusuf Rassiwala (l)

Birthday bite from Bhaswati Bose

Shekhawat followed in like vein with a typically tuneless ‘Pallo Latke’ number till Siba Prasad Maitra and Harish Wadhwa brought about a measure of sobriety with that classic monsoon duet, ‘Rim Jhim Gire Saawan”, sung to perfection.
Maitra continued with a Bengali song, ‘Mone Pode Ruby Rai’, thereby prompting Mumtaz Jahan to come up with ‘Sajna Hai Mujhe, Sajna ke Liye’ and then, Razia Khan taking over with ‘Abhi Na Jao Chhodke, Dil Abhi Bhara Nahin’.

Siba Prasad Maitra and Harish Wadhwa regale

A priceless memento from Bihari Milwani (r)

And so continued a scintillating morning full of music and laughter – completely unrehearsed, unscripted and unplanned.
But the highlight, as always, had to be Bihari Milwani’s table calendar – a priceless, one-of-its-kind gift everyone looks forward to on his/her birthday. We all take Bihari’s prodigious memory (at remembering dates) for granted, but do not realize what it takes to invest so much of personal attention in designing and crafting such beautiful mementos without ever repeating himself.

Razia Khan pitches in with a nostalgic number

Today’s calendar had these beautiful lines: “We wish a wish for you/ The wish we wish for you/ Is the wish we wish for few/ The wish we wish for you/ Is that all your wishes come true…” That was not all. Harish, whose birthday had just gone by (on September 13), also got lucky with a table calendar specially made for him by Bihari!
Lastly (but not leastly), who could have forgotten Banoo Apa's magical chai? We were having it on a rain soaked morning and that too, after ages. If truth be told, most of us had landed up today, not so much for the eats but for Banoo Apa's legendary tea -- hot, refreshing and supremely divine.

Bihari Milwani:
Today’s mammoth attendance demonstrates the love of the Big Laaf family members. Notwithstanding all odds and hiccups, they came to greet and wish the Blog Monster. It rained heavily because the Almighty wanted to wash away Blog Monster's sins with his own hands before the birthday celebration began.

Kiran Prakash:
It was a 'master celebration' and as rightly mentioned, 'impromptu'. It spoke of the incomparable love and respect our Bose Babu has earned from every member of the club. Many happy returns of the day dear Bose Babu. May God shower His choicest blessings and you continue to be in the best of health and spirits.

Dilip Babani:
Happy Birthday, dear Bose-ji. May God bless you. It was a very nice party and all were happy. Banoo Apa had brought very nice tea for everybody. We all enjoyed. The songs by Gupta-ji, Maitra-ji and Razia-ji were very nice. So was the dance of Shekhawat-ji and Fahmida-ji. All were very, very happy.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Birthday is to be celebrated with gusto and everyone is aware of this important date, especially when it pertains to our spirited Bose Babu. It is thrilling to know that there were impromptu songs and enjoyable celebrations. Mr Bihari, our famous Accountant General, is very prompt and fastidious in producing fantastic calendars on such occasions. All these calendars are good mementos to be preserved - at least, I am doing so. Thanks Bihari-ji, for your efforts. Happy Birthday Bose Babu and wishing you a very happy and healthy inning ahead.

Geeta Latte:
Many, many, many happy returns of the day. Aap hamesha healthy life iio🎂💐🎂 Aaj ki party bahut achchi thi aur yaadgar bhi👌👌

Karun Sharma:
Oh God, this was not expected. I was at home and wanted to attend this birthday of my dear and special friend. Happy Birthday Derek. You are too good and I wish you all the good things in life.

Razia Khan (on WhatsApp):
Happy Birthday Mr Bose. May Almighty Allah shower His blessings and keep you healthy and happy always. May He also fulfill all your wishes. Thanks a lot for the lovely party. We enjoyed a lot . Thanks, once again. 💐💐💐🙏 🙏 🙏 🎂🎂🎂🎉🎉🎉

Blog Monster: Thank you everybody -- undeserving as I am of all your kindness and love. I shall cherish your sentiments forever.

Umbrellas Out!

Kiran Prakash conducts exercises today

After the punishing heat and humidity of the past few days (ref previous post), the weather abruptly swung to the other extreme today – grey, desultory and wet. It continued to rain from last night.

Tara Chand (file photo)

The results were the same though – an abysmally low turnout for the exercises.
“We are Hum Paanch today,” Nahid Khan declared, quoting the title of a 1980s Bollywood multi-starrer for the number of people present in China Hut when she came in. “Something is seriously wrong with us. When it is hot and sunny, we want rains. When it rains, we want sunshine. Either way, most people couldn’t care about the exercises.”
Nahid was herself late this morning. “Oh my God, how it rained last night!” she exclaimed. “I have never experienced such heavy thundershower in my life. I was having nightmares of Mumbai city getting submerged in rainwater. It was like the world coming to an end.”
“I too spent the night saying my prayers,” Shanti Singh added. “I could not sleep a moment. The flashes of lightning and rumble of thunder was terrifying. All night in the dark, I could hear only droom-droom droom-droom resounding in my head… It was so frightening. The moment daylight broke I left my bed and came straight to the Garden.”
We were all taken unawares by the sudden thunderstorm and torrential rain last night. Even the met forecast for the day is silent on such a dramatic change in the weather and as reports in today’s papers indicate, it was supposed to be “bright and sunny with the likelihood of a few showers”.
Tara Chand Seth left home as usual at 7:00 a.m., but had to retrace his steps midway when it began to pour heavily. “I wanted to personally take leave from you all,” he informed on phone. “My flight ticket to Delhi is booked for tomorrow morning. So I won’t be able to go to the Garden. Please apologise on my behalf to everybody for leaving without saying good-bye.”

Dilip Babani:
Even I got up at 3:40 a.m. because of the thunder and rain. Toofaan was on the way, like Irma or Harvey Hurricane. I was awake till 4:30 a.m. and then the rain stopped. Thundering also stopped. I slept alone in the room and got up at 7:55 a.m. I felt that a beautiful bhootni will come from outside by opening the front door and take me to the terrace. She would then force me to jump from the terrace.

Bhaswati Bose:
Only Dilip Kumar was forced (in Madhumati) by a beautiful bhootni to jump from the terrace. You are not Dilip Kumar, but Dilip Babani. Beautiful bhootni won't be interested in you. So don't worry!

Anonymous:
Of course, he should worry. What if an ugly bhootni got him? As he is not Dilip Kumar and therefore does not qualify for the terrace, what if he was pushed off the toilet window? He could easily end up with broken bones.

Karun Sharma:
Contrary to the comments above, I had sound sleep. I thought of leaving for the exercises, but because of small rains, decided to stay home. I must congratulate myself that I was able to isolate myself from what was happening around.

Suspending Exercises?

Exercising under the blazing sun

A small but increasingly strident section of the Club is demanding the immediate curtailment, if not suspension of the exercises till such time the weather improves. Led by Bijoy Gupta, this group is of the view that given the sudden spike in humidity levels, we ought to do away with the second laughter and tai-chi rounds.
Or else, we need to stop exercising at 7:30 a.m., before the sun comes up.
“Otherwise we shall all fall ill,” cautioned Gupta, dripping in sweat from top to toe. “Today, I did not do all the exercises but ended up with a severe catch. I cannot lift my right arm now. I am terribly dehydrated. This is not exercise, it is punishment. You must understand that in this heat, our energy levels are already low…”
Shanti Singh was equally critical about having to exercise till the end, but had reconciled to the weather not improving any time soon. “September and October are the worst months of the year because of the humidity,” she said. “We have always known the period ahead of Durga Puja to be unbearable, but this year the heat and humidity have crossed all limits.”
Yesterday, maximum temperature in the city hit a record 35.5 degrees Celsius, a clear 5 degrees-plus above normal.

Why blame the weather?

Today, it felt even worse with precipitation levels crossing the 80 per cent mark. Little wonder, many like Shekhawat, Banoo Apa and Karuna Waghmare have been spending the best part of the exercises seated on a bench. Even the otherwise sturdy Nahid Khan needs a breather.
Karuna in fact, has made it a habit to ask for a “holiday” every morning before the exercises start. She is joined by Khatoon Baig nowadays. Others like Yusuf Rassiwala, Tara Chand Seth, Santosh Tyagi, Nasir Putani Shah, Karun Sharma and Razia Khan have become erratic in their attendance, presumably because of the weather.
Arun Patil however, feels that blaming the weather is “just a lame excuse” when the fault actually lies within us. “Admit it, we have become old and lost all our body stamina and resistance,” he pointed out. “Moreover, we have become so used to the comforts of life that even stepping out of our air conditioned bedrooms is considered an exertion. And then, we like to blame the weather!”

DAY 2352

Pic of the Week

PRACTISING BHAGWAN DADA'S FAMOUS DANCE STEPS

Shekhawat-ji can do a nice Bhagwan Dada dance. It will be a very good show and become a good laugh! --Dilip Babani

Happy Complement

Zarina Khan

The rains have receded for the time being. But the monsoon isn't altogether over. According to the met people (and Tara Chand Seth) we can expect another spell of heavy downpour before September is out.

Preparing the plates

Till then, we are putting up with excruciating levels of humidity and without even a hint of breeze, the morning exercises have become an ordeal.
Yet, attendance in the Garden shot up today. With many habitual absconders showing up after ages, we had a happy complement of 30-plus breaking into sweat toward the end of the exercises. It was a pleasure to reconnect with the likes of Mumtaz Jahan, Vandana Kankanwar and Rakhee Bansi – people who are otherwise too busy to take time out to drop by. But then, as we were to learn later, they had been specially

It's party time, once again!

invited this morning by Zarina Khan who was celebrating her ‘promotion’ to a great grand aunt (ref last post). It was a party we were having after a long time – the last one held almost a month back with Nasir Putani Shah’s birthday-cum-Independence Day bash (ref post of August 15).
For a change, Zarina did not come up with her fabled bread-pakoras from home today and instead, laid out a delightful assortment of fries and salties from the market. Bottled yogurt came in as a refreshing substitute for hot tea and as Fahmida Khan, Pushpa Gupta and Kajal Babani took charge of the plating and distribution, everybody had a blast.
“I wish I could have invited you all home for a proper feast,” Zarina reflected. “I have always wanted you people to sample my cooking. But then, my fear is that you’d get bored because there is nobody at home, but my son to talk to. Had my husband been alive today, I’d have gone all out. He was such an outgoing person… you’d have really enjoyed his company. I miss Khan Sah’b badly.”

Nature’s Call

Karuna Waghmare (c) holds discussions on her new toilet 

Razia Khan (r) congratulates Zarina Khan

Some time back a silly, propaganda film hit the Hindi screen – Toilet: Ek Prem Katha. In spite of a superstar like Akshay Kumar heading the cast and the might of the government’s Swachh Bharat Abhiyan behind its promotion, the film bombed badly. It sank without a trace.
Today Karuna Waghmare came up with her own version of Toilet: Ek Prem Katha. Surfacing in the Garden after more than two months, she revealed that she had been unceremoniously evicted from her house in June because the toilet was under repair.
It took all this while to become functional and after leading the life of an itinerant refugee with sympathetic relatives in Powai, Karuna is now back home – happy to be using her own toilet. She is also mighty proud of the transformation the toilet has undergone.
“I invite you all to take a look at my new toilet,” she offered this morning. “I won’t call it Taj Mahal, but it is something like that. I can’t describe in words how beautiful it is. All that distress during the past two months, has been worthwhile.”
How much the toilet matters to her was also evident from the fact that the rest of her house is still under renovation and the workmen could well take up to a year to finish the job. “The toilet was a priority,” Karuna explained. “It does not matter if the rest of the house remains in a mess.”
When asked if she had formally inaugurated the facility, Karuna pulled a long face. But Kiran Prakash quickly made up for her, saying that it was good that she did not invite the Club for the inauguration ceremony: “Else we would all have to be present outside your toilet at 6’o clock in the morning!”
Meanwhile, Zarina Khan invited the Club to a party this Saturday upon her turning great grand-aunt. Her grandniece has been blessed with a baby boy. Moreover, she would soon be shifting to a spanking new apartment acquired recently. In that sense, it would be a double celebration.

Bihari Milwani:
TOILET: EK WAGHMARE KATHA... All are invited! Venue: Lokhandwala Garden No 4

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Toilet is a very important issue these days. Quite a few marriages have broken because of non-availability of toilets in the house. Waghmare is certainly proud of her new acquisition and certainly this deserves to be celebrated. Also, congrats to Zarina Khan on becoming great-grand aunt. Wishing the new arrival a long and healthy life.

Dilip Babani:
Congratulations, Zarina-ji!

Hilllllarious!

"But who will play Honeypreet?"

The Annual Day function this year has been deferred by three months, the exact date to be notified after a meeting of the club’s Managing Committee shortly. The Bangkok Tour between November 1 and 7 is the apparent cause for this sudden disruption.
The last annual function was held on September 10, 2016 in the China Hut.
While the possibility of staging the function on the cemented platform inside the Garden was being explored, Bijoy Gupta came down heavily on how the programme was conducted last year.

Shekhawat

He argued that we ought to have “started with a bang” and “ended with a bang” if we wanted a lasting impact.
“Instead, what did we do?” he asked. “We had a line-up of old, frail-looking ladies listlessly singing “Jeena isi ka naam hai…” to open the show. They kept reappearing and even closed the show with the same song. If you had to retain the song, you should have got a bunch of energetic, good looking girls to sing and inject some life in the programme. Had you taken me on board at the planning stage, I would not have allowed this to happen.”
Kiran Prakash and Siba Prasad Maitra promptly invited Gupta

Final rehearsal for the Annual Function last year 

to plan out the programme this year, but he was still unstoppable. He went hammer and tongs at Shekhawat, describing how he could neither act nor dance to save his life. “Luckily Dilip Babani came to my rescue as a dance partner, or else I would have had to put up with Shekhawat flapping his hands like a fish out of water!”
Nevertheless, Gupta had a part for Shekhawat this time around when asked to work on the script of a new skit. “Let us do a comedy on godmen with Shekhawat playing Asaram Bapu in full costume and make-up. I don’t mind being Baba Gurmeet Ram Rahim and let’s say, Kiran Prakash is Baba Nityanand. We shall show the three meeting on stage and becoming thick friends. They discuss their past, the mess they are in, how they curse their luck…”
“But who’ll play Honeypreet?” Maitra interjected.
Gupta was only waiting for this question. His response can well be imagined.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Mr Bijoy Gupta is a very talented person. He has a lot of ideas on skits and staging such events. Induct him. I am sure you will not regret the decision. Good luck to everyone.

DAY 2348

Pic of the Week

TIME TO WIND UP... AND GO BACK TO SLEEP

This is a special dog. He comes in the middle of our exercises and just takes a round and goes away. He behaves like an inspector, checking how many members have come. But he never troubles anyone. He is a good dog. --Dilip Babani

Watch out! This dog is a spy of the other laughter club that had split from Big Laaf!!! --Bihari Milwani

Godman Gag

His Holiness Baba Kiran Prakash

It was a sight to behold. All those who were absent today at the Garden (because of Bakri Eid or otherwise) missed the chance of a lifetime to witness the advent of a new godman – His Holiness Baba Kiran Prakash.
Stirrings of this historic development were apparent since a notorious baba in Haryana was jailed earlier this week.

Shekhawat receives Baba's blessings

From narrating crude jokes on the scoundrel to Bijoy Gupta renaming the joy train of Shekha-wat as “Ram-Rahim Express”, it was clear our members had woken up to the fact that godmen were patently frauds.

Mad clamour for ''biscuit prasad'

Today’s event was a vindication of how easy it is for anybody to fool everybody in the garb of religion.
Nevertheless we went through all the rituals of anointment with Dilip Babani (as the self-styled “chela”) announcing the presence of the baba and garlanding him.

Lakshmi Hadimani

HH Baba Kiran Prakash chanted “Love you all!” and one by one, we sought his blessings. Many fell at his feet and he obliged them by placing his hand on their heads. Some did pushpanjali, showering him with flower petals. Even Shekhawat bent down to touch the baba’s feet out of reverence.
Gupta was suitably impressed.

Santosh Tyagi and Sunita Jajodia receive prasad

“The last time anybody garlanded me in this Garden was during the Mahamoorkh Sammelan on the eve of Holi,” he chuckled. “I was nominated ‘Big Fool’.

Man of the Moment

Surely there is something special in this man for so many followers to flock around him.”
His Holiness was still not done. He spoke at length on peace be upon us (“Sabka bhala ho!” he exhorted) and in the same breath, of setting up a “goofa” (cave) without disclosing its exact location. One moment he pointed southwards and the next, westwards (in the direction of Lokhandwala Lake). He also distributed prasad in the form of biscuits, courtesy Dilip. Santosh Tyagi and her friend, Sunita Jajodia (who was on a visit) said they would save the prasad and share it with their families later at home.

Blessings for all

Dilip Babani is blessed

A visibly grateful Shekhawat soon began to address His Holiness as “Biscuit Baba”.
Siba Prasad Maitra claimed to have coined that name and went on to illustrate the infinite wisdom of His Holiness by narrating a story of how a baba’s presence of mind and depth of knowledge saved the life of a little sparrow.
But Lakshmi Hadimani was to have the last word. Arriving rather late in the Garden, she was shocked by the holy presence decked with a marigold garland. “What happened, are you going to slaughter him today?” she asked innocently. When everybody burst out laughing, the lady clarified: “In our village, whenever we slaughter a goat, we put a marigold garland around its neck and lead it to the sacrificial altar with great ceremony. I really thought he is a sacrificial goat!”
It was Bakri Eid today.

Karun Sharma:
Oh my God, I missed some real great fun. The blog is so nicely written that I felt as if I was present there with my Big Laaf family. But contributing to the mazaa remains unfulfilled in my heart. I could not make it to the Garden today because of a professional commitment. Aaaah!

Dilip Babani:
Everybody today received the blessings of H H Baba Kiran Prakash-ji. He is really a saint. He always gives very good advice and suggestions about how we must live life very smoothly. In future he will guide us on how to effectively do meditation and also to overcome anger, depression, sorrow, anxiety, fear, attachment, greed, etc. Thank you H H Baba Kiran Prakash-ji for your valuable advice.

Banoo Apa (on WhatsApp):
Dear Kiran Baba-ji, Mein aap ke aashirwad se mehrum reh gayi jiska mujhe zindagi bhar afsos rahega! (Translation: "I have been deprived of your blessings. I shall regret this for the rest of my life")!