Futile Exercise

The 'disciplinarians' debate and discuss

Nobody turned up for any delegation (ref post of December 26) yesterday. Instead, an animated discussion broke out this morning over habitual late comers and those 'arriving late-and-leaving early' with Yusuf Rassiwala and Arun Patil (among others) taking strong exception on a complete breakdown of discipline in the Club.
“That is why I have stopped conducting the exercises,” said Yusuf R. “The way people come in casually and leave whenever they like makes my temper shoot up. Even in our homes, when someone goes out, everybody is informed.

Shekhawat (ext right) is crestfallen

No such courtesy is shown here.”
“And why must we greet everyone who turns up late for the exercises?” questioned Arun. “We ought to ignore these late comers. By welcoming them, we not only encourage their late-coming but also disturb the flow of exercises.”
The discussion continued back and forth along these lines with allegations and counter-allegations flying thick and fast and eventually, everybody agreeing that this was all an exercise in futility. “Tomorrow everybody will be back to square one,” concluded Yusuf R. “Nothing is going to change with these people.”
Fortunately, many of them were not witness to Bijoy Gupta ribbing Shekhawat early morning on the absence his saalis today. Not one of them had turned up today leaving Shekhawat crestfallen and lamenting that it was a ‘black day’ for him. “But seriously, how do you expect women to come to you?” needled Gupta. “Not even a dog comes to me!”
In all this, Santosh Tyagi brought about some post-Christmas cheer with a generous round of gajak – the cold weather crispies she picked from her recent visit to Delhi. And then, there were the Babanis, Kajal and Dilip who gave their daughter, Neelam in marriage last week. They dropped by to celebrate with us – with rich, mouth-watering barfis stuffed with raisins and dryfruit. There were sugar-free kaju-katlis also, for the diabetics. Our best wishes and blessings go to the newly weds.

Delhi gajaks from Santosh Tyagi

Wedding kaju-katlis from Kajal

Wedding barfis from Dilip

Day 1853

Pic of the Week

SANTA MONTHI IS COMING... TO TOWN

Monty looks like Santa Claus!!! Thanks for the cake. -- Swati Panjabi

Touch wood, Santa Monthi looks very charming! --Anonymous

Inflamed Passions

Shekhawat sounded a word of caution early morning: “If you don’t get permission to stage the Annual Function (on January 16), what is the purpose of all your preparation?”
Well-meaning as the warning was, it instantly led to the outpouring of pent-up emotions over the recent 'prohibition' on consumption of eatables/ beverages in the Garden.

Everybody is equally confused and agitated

Siba Prasad Maitra offers a 'solution'

The absence of anyone to represent us led to a further flare-up of tempers after the exercises.
“Are we dogs that we’d have to eat by the roadside?” exclaimed Banoo Apa, recalling Lakshmi Hadimani's plight yesterday on having to celebrate her birthday by distributing food packets outside the Garden gate. Nahid Khan narrated that she had asked our Club secretary Jagmohan Papneja (who happened to be passing by) to intervene in getting the packets inside the Garden but he proved most uncooperative. “He took his box and simply walked away,” she reported.
Others spoke of ‘kitty parties’ in the China Hut during the evenings and that we are being made to pay the price for their sins. "Whatever party we have in the morning, big or small, we do not leave behind even a scrap of paper,” Mumtaz Jahan pointed out. “Somebody should go and tell them that.”
But who is there to speak for us?
Tara Chand Seth suggested we prepare a written petition, collect signatures and submit it to Celebration Club, the custodians of the Garden. “We must say we are senior citizens, that we have had an impeccable record and suddenly, after 12 years, they cannot start penalising us.”
Many suggested we go by Yusuf Rassiwala’s advice and continue doing what we have always been doing and if someone has any objection, he should come to us rather than we go to him. Razia Khan however, felt that we cannot take chances on the Annual Function because in the event of the program being disrupted midway, we would need something to fall back on. “All our efforts will be wasted,” she cautioned. “That is why we need their permission before proceeding any further.”
Siba Prasad Maitra came up with a solution. “You can use the facility in my building complex,” he suggested. “It would be perfect for our function. You can eat, drink, do whatever you like… and the hiring charges are only Rs500 per day.”
Shekhawat however, felt we must speak to Celebration Club first and offered to lead a delegation tomorrow afternoon (Sunday) at 4:00 pm. Watch this space.
Bihari Milwani:
* We have two retired military officers in our club -- Col Angad Singh and Major Shekhawat. We should ask them to come armed with their AK47s at the Annual Celebration.
* I think we need to explain to the security that it is only "consumption of eatables and beverages" that is prohibited and not the distribution. Like last year we will be distributing the packed food items which will not be consumed in the garden. There should be no problem for any one.

Christmas 2015

Lakshmi celebrates her birthday

Santa Monthi

Christmas Day. Jesus Christ’s birthday. But Lakshmi Hadimani insisted she too would celebrate her birthday today. We pointed out that it was pointless -- that her birthday was on another day and it had long gone by and that she should please try to remember.
Monthi Serrao even reminded her that she was born on December 10 and to celebrate after a fortnight, would appear silly. “Let it pass,” Monthi advised her country cousin. “No need to celebrate.”
But Lakshmi was adamant. She believed it was her birthright to celebrate her birthday any day, any time she pleased and to deny her the honour of sharing the day with Jesus Christ was some kind of conspiracy.

Mallika Kagzi's 'tea ceremony'

She became all the more suspicious when she saw Monthi hogging the limelight in a bright red Santa Claus costume and distributing mysterious goodies from a big red bag in the Garden.
So Lakshmi put on a mauve kurta and stationed herself strategically at the gate of the Garden. She declared she too had gone to church and that well, it was not her birthday today, but actually her brother’s. But she would celebrate both birthdays this morning at the Gate – hers with the Vyanjan food packets and her brother’s, with sliced fruitcake. So for us hungry souls (and many other passersby) it was a double treat.
The real Christmas celebration was inside the Garden with Monthi, as usual, handing out crispy home-made savories, jelly sweet and pastry, sealed with loving care in neat polythene packets – something we have come to expect of her every year. For, on this auspicious occasion, she is the one to remind us of essential Christian values, of love, sharing and ‘bringing happiness to others'.
And who could have missed Mallika Kagzi and her quiet celebration in the China Hut? The piping hot tea she poured out of her silver flask was just what the doctor ordered on a cold, windy morning. Merry Christmas everybody!
Bihari Milwani:
On a chilly winter morning, do you assemble for the exercises or are you seeking an excuse for a grand treat?

Festive Cheer

Fehmida Khan

The cold wave continues unabated. The papers are putting it to ‘northerly winds’, ‘low humidity’ and so on, but to us in Mumbai, especially on Christmas eve, the extraordinary chill is the closest we can get to a white Christmas. Fehmida Khan even came dressed in a red Santa Claus outfit, replete with a fur-trimmed hood,

Naseem Khan (r) treats us to barfis from Nagpur

ushering in the yuletide spirit.
It was also Eid-e-Milad un Nabi today – the Prophet’s birthday. Amid the festive cheer with warm hugs and greetings all around, Mallika Kagzi treated us to hot, home-made tea to celebrate the occasion. Shekhawat got his chance and gave a big bear hug to each of his three saalis present this morning. The fourth one had taken the day off.
Naseem Khan also chipped in, adding to the merriment with a box of special malai barfis.

Bijoy Gupta (standing) in full flow

She has just returned from a visit to her home town, Nagpur and it was no small coincidence that she chose an auspicious day to treat us. What more could we have asked for on a freezing December morning when the best part of Mumbai was still fast asleep?
And yet, there was more. Rehearsals for the Annual Day function began in right earnest inside the China Hut (like the last time) and Bijoy Gupta came up with a surprise performance. When prodded to “do something” for the evening, he turned to Shekhawat, his bête noire and threatened to present a “mimicry act”.
What followed was a hilarious, belly-aching adaption of the old Hindi film song, ‘Bade Miyan Deewane, Aise Na Bano'. Gupta cannot sing to save his life, but the way he made up by shouting and gesticulating furiously at a stone-faced Shekhawat had us all in splits. It was by far the stand-out performance of the morning.
Kiran Prakash:
Bijoy Gupta is a hidden gem. His will indeed be a performance, applauded by one and all. We had a glimpse of the performance of Banoo Apa and Fehmida too. I bet the Annual Function will set a benchmark.