Atypical Celebrations

Bihari Milwani

Normal people celebrate birthdays. At best, we might also remember our marriage anniversary. But who cares about occasions like 10,000 days of life, 5,000 weeks of marriage, 1,000 months of… whatever? It is much like what record keepers do with cricketing scores.

Mallika displaying the unusual gift

And for any of us to keep score of records in someone else’s life, well, forget it!
Oddly enough, this is precisely what Bihari Milwani enjoys doing most. A number cruncher straight out of Ripley’s Believe It or Not, he not only has all of our birthdays and wedding anniversaries on his fingertips, but at the drop of a hat, can tell you the number of breaths you have taken in life. And so when he gifted Mallika Kagzi a display card reminding her of the number of months she has spent in happy matrimony, nobody was surprised.
But Mallika (who was obviously not expecting such a gift), simply lost her breath.

Swati Punjabi (c) throwing a lavish breakfast treat 

On the card, printed prominently against photos of herself and her husband (that too came as a shock) was the beautiful legend, “500 Months of Togetherness – 29th February 2016”. An otherwise loquacious Mallika was at a total loss of words as she passed the gift around her friends and well-wishers.
If that was not surprising enough, Swati Punjabi pulled off a rabbit from her hat by treating us to a grand breakfast of mouth-watering sheera combined with stuffed puri and potato-peas curry.
Happily, attendance was thin today and many of us could grab double and triple helpings. “I wish I could have got tea also, but getting up at 3:00 a.m. and preparing all this has sapped my energy,” she said apologetically. More importantly, what was the cause of this unusual treat? Pat came her reply: “For losing out on the Woman of the Year polls last week!” Where on earth would you find such way-out generous souls?
Bihari Milwani:
"Halwa-puri khao, Swati ke gun gao" - Film: Big Laaf

Day 1916

Pic of the Week

NEED MORE BE SAID?

Who is this guy proposing? --Kiran Prakash

He is not proposing. He is pleading for forgiveness. --Bhaswati Bose

What has he done to plead on his knees for forgiveness? --Kiran Prakash

Kiran-ji in a kneel-down exercise. Both the hands should be straight upwards. --Bihari Milwani

Cold Storage

Monthi Serrao

We were supposed to be out on picnic today, at the Royal Hills resort. But due to Shekhawat’s ill health, the program has had to be dropped. Monthi Serrao, who had spoken to the resort management as well as Shekhawat, confirmed that the “picnic has been postponed, not cancelled”. In other words, we shall be making plans (if at all) only after Shekhawat's recovery.
Today happened to be also the

Zarina Khan(c) celebrates 'advance birthday' 

date for closing of bookings for the trip to Andaman and Nicobar Islands, scheduled for May 16 to 21, 2016 (ref post of February 19). Owing to poor response from members, that too has been put on cold storage. Monthi reaffirmed that the “trip has been postponed, not cancelled” till further notice.
Meanwhile, Mumtaz Jahan announced that she would like to take a group to Kashmir around September 2016 and those interested may confirm their bookings at the earliest.

Mumtaz Jahan announces trip to Kashmir in September

She is leaving for Srinagar right away to line up the hotels, local travel, guides, etc. in time for the trip.
Should this work out, it would be the second trip to Kashmir from the Club in three years. “Apart from the usual touristy places we had visited the last time, there is so much of Jammu & Kashmir left to be explored,” Mumtaz said. “We shall go to all those new spots, stay in three-star hotels and travel around in comfort. The total package, inclusive of to-and-fro airfare, is estimated to be Rs32,000 per person.”
Exciting as this may all sound, a lot would depend upon Shekhawat’s state of health. As the chief organizer of all trips, he enjoys the trust and goodwill of all members – something nobody else in the Club can claim.
In fact, it is his presence that determines not only the feasibility, but also the success of a trip. Such is the general perception. Let us hope and pray that he recovers soon and is back to his sprightly self with renewed vim and verve.
Kiran Prakash:
Announcement of so many trips at the same time is really confusing. It will be better to go to Andaman & Nicobar, a new destination for club members rather than Kashmir which has already been visited. Kashmir and Andaman are in totally two different segments and cannot be compared. I will, any day, recommend Andaman & Nicobar over Kashmir.

Fall from Grace

Mallika refuses to even look at Dilip Babani and Kiran Prakash  

Until yesterday morning, every male in the Club was made to feel like the cat’s whiskers. The ladies spared no effort at winning them over with their charms, by gentle persuasion, sweet talk, toffees, even late night text messages and WhatsApp beeps… all for the sake of votes (ref yesterday’s post). Never before had the 30-odd ladies of the Club put in so much effort into campaigning for a Woman of the Year title.
Today, as it emerged that all the votes were divided between merely five women, the very same men have become pariahs – even eyesores. “It just proves that the majority of women in the Club do not count for anything,” was Harbans Kaur’s instant comment upon realizing she had drawn a blank.

Swati Punjabi

“Are we such good-for-nothings in the eyes of men?”
“They are traitors,” screamed Mallika Kagzi, declaring war on the men this morning. “Don’t you guys dare talk to me. Don't even look at me. I don’t want to see your faces. I will never get you tea... except for the two who had voted for me.

Qadir Bano is leaving on
Umrah for a month

Just get out of my sight!”
Mallika felt all the more “hurt” because Vasudev Batheja, an old regular in the Garden, insisted on congratulating her for cornering two votes (instead of a zero tally like most others). Kiran Prakash tried to make light of the situation by humoring her – even getting down on a knee and pleading with her to cheer up. Later, after the exercises, he and Dilip Babani plonked cross-legged on the grass, trying to console her, but she refused to even give them a look!
Meanwhile, Mumtaz Jahan drew comfort from the fact that by bagging one vote, she has made up for the deficiency of last year. “I lost by one vote,” she informed. “With this year’s single vote, I am now even. I have passed. Going by my experience, it will take Mallika another 10 years to win the trophy."
Amid all the mass sulking and chiding, Swati Punjabi struck a contrarian note by stating that she thoroughly enjoyed the ten days of canvassing for votes. “Winning or losing is not everything in life,” she declared with rare perspicacity. “How does it matter who gets the trophy, so long as we all have our share of the fun? In my opinion, every woman here is a winner.”
Kiran Prakash:
I am trying to find ways to save my skin in future. Since only one paper can be given as per voting norm I have decided to have a bigger paper and write the names of all the lady members before dropping it in ballot box. Alternatively, they can give me a joint recommendation in the name of one member.
Lt Col Angad Singh from Mohali:
We hold a number of competitions every year in the Club and all of them are women-oriented. The sole purpose of these competitions is to generate fun and enjoyment. These competitions should be more humorous, fun-producing and laughter-inducing. These should be taken in light vein, or else the very purpose of the competition suffers.

And the Winner is…

Bhaswati Bose flanked by runner-up Mallika Kagzi (l) and
'campaign manager' Gita Latte (r)

Our men can now breathe easy. After ten days of non-stop campaigning by lady members of the Club, the dust has finally settled over electing the Woman of the Year – 2016.
Bhaswati Bose was today declared winner after bagging 10 of the 15 votes polled, while Mallika Kagzi emerged runner-up. The remaining three votes were shared by Razia Khan, Mumtaz Jahan and Nahid Khan.
Today's voting was conducted by secret ballot with Monthi Serrao and Harbans Kaur volunteering their services as ‘polling officers’. In fact, more than the days of campaigning, it was the run-up to the declaration of results that generated maximum excitement – and of course, loads of laughter.
As everybody waited with baited breath for Monthi and Harbans Kaur to complete the vote counting (in apparent secrecy), nosey parkers like Bijoy Gupta had to be shooed away repeatedly for wanting to hang around close to the two ladies. The rest of us kept a respectable distance amid a whirl of speculation as to who would have ingratiated himself to which lady – not to mention the many false promises and assurances from every man on where his vote had gone.

Harbans Kaur and Monthi Serrao count the votes

Polling officers announce the results

But this much became clear: None of the so-called 'husbands' found their wives in the Club deserving of their vote. Meanwhile, Dilip Babani kept everybody abreast with the latest in his own entertaining way. “Swati Punjabi is leading by 5 votes over her nearest rival, whereas Mumtaz Jahan is now behind by 2 votes…” And so his commentary ran on.
It was a joyous, fun-filled morning that made for an appropriate climax to all the shadow boxing and one-upwomanship witnessed over the past few days. However, in their ‘report’, the polling officers submitted that it would be better to do away with all campaigning in future. “Just give one day’s notice and conduct the voting the very next day,” Harbans Kaur suggested. “That way the ladies will have no time to engage in petty rivalry and infighting.”
Today’s winner will be presented with her trophy on March 8, 2016 – International Women’s Day.

Carnival atmosphere prevails as everybody waits patiently for the declaration of results

Kiran Prakash:
Congratulations, Bhaswati-ji. You have won by a two-third majority. Well done.
Siba Prasad Maitra:
Congratulations Bhaswati-ji. You have won by a clear majority. Well done. My good wishes to all other participants too.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd) from Mohali:
Hurrah! Lot of congrats Bhaswati-ji. You have been campaigning with your Manager for a pretty long time. You have won with a clear majority. From my side all the lady members are winners for the International Women's Day. All of them have been doing well in the club.
Kiran Prakash adds:
My love and good wishes are especially for those ladies who have lost and are now accusing and cursing me. It appears Maitra-ji has left the city and will return only after the fire gets extinguished. Very smart step.

Campaign Ends

Mallika Kagzi goes around begging for votes!

Mallika Kagzi today struck an unbelievably wacky pose when she spread out her dupatta and with an empty plastic water bottle in hand, went around begging for votes. Yes, begging literally. She needs the support of the men in the Club if she has to win the Woman of the Year trophy this year. “Allah ke naam mein mujhe ek vote deh, Allah tera bhala karega…” she chanted, accosting whoever looked like a man in the Garden.
This was Mallika’s way of parodying the lady members who have been campaigning feverishly over the past 10 days for the award, presented every year on March 8,

Last-minute campaigning in full swing

International Women’s Day. Today was the last day of their campaign and tomorrow the winner will be decided by secret ballot. The last two winners, Santosh Tyagi (for 2014) and Nahid Khan (for 2015) were chosen by this process.
This time however, some votes have been cast in advance by men who are not too sure if they can make it to the Garden tomorrow. The idea is that every male voice must count in a Club where men are in a minority. Many though are still reserving their opinion and would prefer to wait and watch to the last moment. How this suspense unfolds will be known in less than 24 hours. Watch this space.
Bihari Milwani:
If Mallika-e-Biglaaf has to beg for votes, what will happen to a poor, humble, simple and innocent member like me?

Show Sans Soul

Nahid Khan

Shekhawat

How one or two key absences can make all the difference to our morning session was something we realised today. We assembled in the Garden as usual, did the exercises military-like, there was even a sumptuous treat thrown in by Manisha Kolhe… in effect, the show had gone on as per routine. But it was a show without a soul.
Shekhawat was down with fever this morning. He spoke with difficulty on phone, saying he “felt weak and exhausted” and that the “change of weather” had done him in. However, he did not have a breathing problem and was hopeful that the fever would wear off. “I will be back at the Garden as soon as I am able to stand on my feet,” he assured.
Nahid Khan too explained her absence to being under the weather.

Manisha Kolhe distributes orangy barfi from Nagpur

But unlike Shekhawat, she managed to stir out of home and could reach the Garden, though after the exercises. “The season change has caused all the gad-bad,” she complained. “Apart from severe cough and cold, I’m carrying a splitting headache. The fever has subsided and so I’ve come out for fresh air.”
Nahid Khan’s place in conducting the exercise was taken by Razia Khan. For that matter, Kiran Prakash had to conduct the Chinese round in place of Geeta Latte (who is down with a bout of migraine). But Shekhawat had no substitute and even his 'rail engine' had to be driven, more as an afterthought, by Mumtaz Jahan.
All those who have taken Shekhawat’s jack-in-the-box antics for granted felt suddenly betrayed today, almost like having wasted a morning. “No fun coming today,” quipped Mohar Singh while old bête noir Bijoy Gupta went around requesting someone call Shekhawat quickly at home. “Can’t say about him, he’s just come out of a major operation,” he reasoned. Mallika Kagzi, Banoo Apa, Zarina Khan and other ladies similarly voiced their concern. Sometimes, absence can look bigger than presence.
Bihari Milwani:
* I trust Kiran-ji obeyed the advise of Anonymous and the warning of Swati (confirming the advise of Anonymous) and had put on the helmet (bearing the ISI mark). Kiran-ji’s photo is missing in the blog today.
* Kiran Prakash ki bheegi bheegi si palkon pe rah gaye Blog Monster ne kal mujhe Anamika bana diya!

Life Threatening!

Swati Punjabi goes clawing at Kiran Prakash

Kiran Prakash got the scare of his life when Swati Punjabi offered to treat him to an invigorating head massage this morning (ref yesterday’s post). It was a well-meaning offer, but to Prakash, this was nothing short of a threat to his very existence on this planet.
In fact, the fear was equally shared between the Club’s two other ‘bravehearts’, Dilip Babani and Siba Prasad Maitra (both in pic), the original targets of Swati’s attention. Cleverly they managed to deflect the threat. But Prakash had no such luck.

Arun Patil has boxes of petha from
a visit to Faizabad

And when he saw two bare sets of claws advance menacingly towards him, he had no option but to beat a hasty exit. He simply ran and ran, straight out of the gate, not daring to look back!
Clearly, Swati had taken her photo yesterday too seriously. And with a reputation preceding her, just about no man in the Club would willingly lend his head to her ministration. Maitra has already had a taste of the merciless whiplash those steel-like hands can deliver in the guise of a back massage.

Harbans Kaur gets us kada prasad
from her trip to Nanded Saheb

Dilip also played it safe by repeatedly removing his cap and exposing a bald pate, saying nothing would come of massaging him up there.
But to Swati, she was only doing them a favour – more so, when she was offering her services free of charge. (It was another matter, that she also needs the men’s votes for the Woman of the Year – 2016 trophy.)

Shekhawat briefs the ladies on the weekend picnic

Moreover wasn’t this exactly what Prakash wanted, going by his comments in yesterday’s post: “Demo with a male member will be more appealing”? Obviously, he meant some other male member and not being the sacrificial goat himself. But who was to explain this to an altogether determined and mistaken Swati Punjabi?
Meanwhile, Shekhawat reiterated that the picnic this weekend will be at Royal Hills resort – take it or leave it. Some people had remarked that re-visiting the same picnic spot was akin to “marrying an already married person” and accordingly Shekhawat had been making inquiries with some other holiday resorts. Apparently he has drawn a blank. And now he is not prepared to make any change in his plans – even if the picnic were to be scrapped.
Anonymous: KP Saheb, tomorrow please put on a helmet.

Anonymous 1 and 2

Kiran Prakash

More contenders for your precious vote may try to give you head massage.
Kiran Prakash: Swati ka hath pad jaaye to aadmi uth-ta nahi hai, UTH jaata hai!
Kiran Prakash adds: Dear Anonymous-ji, helmet manufacturing companies will have to spend a fortune to manufacture a helmet which Swati's fingers cannot break. Have you taken 'supari' for my life from any of the contenders?
Anonymous replies: Kiran Prakash-ji, run away! Swati se bachna mushkil hi nahi, NAMUMKIN hai!!!
Kiran Prakash: Dear Anonymous-ji, now you are talking like my well-wisher. Please identity yourself.
Anonymous: We both are not the same Anonymous. Run away comment was given by me. Call me Anonymous No 2.
Kiran Prakash: Dear Anonymous No 2-ji, please identify yourself.
Kiran Prakash: Arre, I just saw this picture. Who is he? It seems I have seen him somewhere. Anyway, dear Anonymous-ji (and now Visible-ji), thank you very much for your timely guidance. Let's meet some time.
Anonymous No 3: Will Anonymous No 1 and Anonymous No 2 (if they are not the same person) identify themselves? We had a good laugh following you. We would like to felicitate you in the Garden.
Blog Monster: Sorry, this conversation is not leading anywhere. No 'Anonymous' comment will be carried from here on.
Swati Punjabi: I agree with both of them.

Day 1909

Pic of the Week

CHAMPI, the Indian head massage... for $249 per khopdi

This is only a demo. Male members can expect similar treatment if they vote for Swati. --Anonymous

Demo with a male member will be more appealing. The 'Anonymous', who seems to be an invisible supporter of Swati, is requested to organise one on Monday. --Kiran Prakash

Campaign Fever

Fehmida Khan (centre) makes a fervent appeal to vote for her

Heated arguments break out among the contenders

With less than a week to go, bidding for the Woman of the Year – 2016 title went up by a notch. At least half a dozen ladies made a fervent pitch for the coveted trophy, each highlighting her USP to back her claims and win the favour of male voters. Here are extracts from their hilarious, half-hour campaign, justifying why they deserve to win:
Fehmida Khan: “I am a great lady. I have not been keeping well for the past few days which is why I have been irregular of late. But otherwise, I am quite regular in the Garden. I do not pick up fights. Ask anybody, I keep my cool, even under intense provocation.”
Mallika Kagzi: “I am very quarrelsome. That is because I cannot stand nonsense. I know the men expect me to get them tea on voting day, but they will not vote for me. I have my ways to find out who they are. I will take my revenge on them one by one. They cannot escape!”
Swati Punjabi: “Everybody knows me as a helpful person. Even in the video of our last trip to the South, Nirmala Nagi was seen praising me. If you vote for me I will treat you to vada-pao, samosa, sheera, chhole -- whatever you want to eat, even drink.”
Bhaswati Bose: “I am most eligible because I qualify by the three As. My ‘Attendance’ is good, I am ‘Active’ in all club activities and I am most ‘Adjusting’, cooperative, friendly and not quarrelsome. So please vote for me.”
Kajal Babani: “I am most regular for the exercises. I am the youngest of the oldest members. I do not pick up fights. I am most tolerant towards everyone. And I have been supportive in organizing the cultural programme last year.”
Past winners Santosh Tyagi and Nahid Khan also made (somewhat half-hearted claims) as also did Geeta Latte. As for the others, much of what was stated this morning has to be taken with huge bagfuls of salt. Women like to exaggerate. It was their day.
Kiran Prakash:
Well done, girls! It is now up to the men to choose the right gem. Surely, they will choose the woman they will be proud of. Hope the Woman of the Year will not only be a pretty face but confident enough to represent the Club.

Andaman & Nicobar

Shekhawat announces trip to Andaman and Nicobar Islands

Nothing is yet settled for the Royal Hills picnic (ref post of February 17) and Shekhawat has already lined up a trip to Andaman and Nicobar Islands for mid-May 2016. This would be a break from a series of mainland trips conducted by the Club since 2013 – Goa, Kashmir, Vaishno Devi, Amritsar and Himachal Pradesh, Kerala, Darjeeling-Gangtok and more recently Bangalore, Mysore, Ooty and Hyderabad.
“It will be a unique experience for everyone,” promised Shekhawat, who has spent time in the islands on posting with the Indian Navy. “We shall fly to Andaman via Chennai. It will be a tour of six days divided between Port Blair and Havelock Island and taking in some of the most beautiful beaches and coral islands, luxury catamaran and glass-bottom boat rides, visits to historical monuments and museums…”
More specifically, the itinerary would include a visit to the historic Cellular Jail, Corbyn’s Cove, Radhanagar Beach, North Bay, Ross Island, Samudrika, fisheries and anthropological museums.

Razia Khan gives Bijoy Gupta a rude jolt

The tour package has been pegged at Rs40,000 per head -- which covers hotel accommodation on a twin-sharing basis, food and local travel as well as airfare from Mumbai and back.

Angad Singh (l) says his goodbyes before
leaving for Mohali today

The tentative dates for the tour are from May 16 to 21, 2016.
“All those interested in going should give their names by February 28,” Shekhawat appealed. “We need to book the flight tickets in advance. The earlier we book, cheaper would the tickets be.”
The highlight of the morning though was Razia Khan’s efforts at getting Bijoy Gupta to join the exercises today. Having failed to draw his attention as he continued with his walk around the Garden, she waited for an opportune moment to embarrass him. The time came when Gupta stopped for a breather and began to exercise free-hand at a distance.
Razia stole up from behind and did a very unlady-like thing that took Gupta more by shock than surprise. He was in the middle of a back stretch when Razia gave him a sharp tickle up his ribs. Up jumped Gupta as though he had been struck by a live wire. Then seeing us all laughing our guts out, he calmed down and with folded hands, joined us for the exercises.
That was one sight we can never forget – all thanks to Razia.
Kiran Prakash:
Well done Razia-ji. Keep it up. Today you have surpassed Shekhawat-ji. What a sight it must have been! I missed the spectacular performance. Salute to the photographer too for the timely click.

Easy Camaraderie

Shekhawat

Bijoy Gupta

Bijoy Gupta today picked up the bizarre Indian tag of a ‘co-brother’. His wife is supposed to be Shekhawat’s saali (wife’s sister). That should appropriately qualify him to be Shekhawat’s brother-in-law – if at all such referencing is necessary.
But no, some lady members were intent upon cementing their relationship this morning and formally addressed Gupta as Shekhawat’s ‘saadu bhai’ for the first time. Neither of the men seemed to mind.
Significantly, both Shekhawat and Gupta share an easy camaraderie that is unique and comical. No matter what Shekhawat does or says on his face, Gupta has always taken on the chin. Likewise Gupta enjoys the privilege to abuse or accuse Shekhawat of anything and everything and no offence is ever taken – except on one aspect.
Gupta cannot lead the ‘train’ that marks the end of our free-hand exercises. That is Shekhawat’s prerogative. Long back, Gupta tried once to appropriate this right and all hell broke loose. Shekhawat went hammer and tongs at him, almost getting into fisticuffs and since then, Gupta has been licking his wounds.
Otherwise, Gupta never misses an opportunity at calling Shekhawat a “rusty old engine driver” leading a “ladies’ train” whose “wheels are punctured” and so on. In turn, Shekhawat has been alluding to Gupta being a devotee of a certain Raadhe Maa, only to be accused of being a master “practitioner of black magic” and getting the lady members in his spell.
Such mindless banter keeps everybody entertained, but is never taken to heart and is forgotten soon after the exercises. This is an unwritten rule that binds the two gentlemen, both in their seventies now. For outside the Garden, they continue to be as thick as thieves – but in a decent way.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
These funny, little incidents are like pinpricks enjoyed by all the members. Everyone is happy, enjoys and feels the nourishment such incidents provide. This entertainment should remain as such and should not be overdone.

Niggling Concerns

Shanti Singh (ext rt) also wants to opt out of the picnic

Campaigning for Woman of the Year-2016

While some members are busy ‘doing time-pass’ on the February 25 voting for the Woman of the Year-2016, another section of the Club is gearing for the picnic at Royal Hills resort, scheduled two days later. Shekhawat is having a tough time keeping the flock together as six members have already opted out and some more, according to him, are likely to follow.
“Unless there are at least 30 members in the group, we shall have to scrap the picnic,” he declared today. “There is no point taking a smaller group because it would deprive us of the group discount we had negotiated. Moreover, the per-head cost would shoot up. And I do not want to collect any more money from anybody. It would simply not be worth the expense.”
The picnic has been postponed twice – the first time due to prior bookings by a Nigerian group on February 13 and subsequently, by a group of school children for the February 20 weekend. February 27 came up as the next available date, but that instantly cost us the two bookings of Lt Col Angad Singh. He’d be leaving for Mohali the day after tomorrow.
Thereafter, Manisha Kolhe excused herself citing her daughter’s school exams and before long, another two bookings were lost when Srichand Arora backed out because of personal reasons. “At this rate, I doubt if we shall ever make it,” said Shekhawat, convinced that the picnic is jinxed from the outset. He however, conceded that there cannot be a better time to drop into the resort and take a dip in the luxurious swimming pool there, given the current weather conditions.
Meanwhile, on the voting front, there appears to be a deceptive calm as most contenders for the Woman of the Year trophy are holding their cards close to the chest. Only Bhaswati Bose and Kajal Babani (and to an extent Mallika Kagzi and Mumtaz Jahan) are campaigning openly, much to everybody’s amusement. The rest have chosen to wait and watch, obviously saving their best for the last.
Lt Col Angad Singh (Retd):
Picnics are the spice of life. We certainly feel unhappy as we will miss the opportunity to spend time in the outing with the Club fraternity.

Noisy Morning

Mohar Singh

With winter receding, the mornings are turning out to be bright and cheerful. The darkness at dawn accompanied by cool breeze and dull faces in the Garden are now things of the past. Everyone looks chirpy and upbeat now, much like the flowers and twittering birds heralding the onset of spring.
The upcoming 'poll' for the Woman of the Year-2016 on February 25 (see yesterday’s post) has added to the restlessness around and raising decibel levels. Today, campaigning began during the exercises itself. Razia Khan wanted Mallika Kagzi to win and vice versa.

The men indulge in leg-pulling when approached for votes

Jagmohan Papneja demanded “notes for votes” (jokingly, of course) while Bijoy Gupta could not believe his ears that unlike the women, he enjoys the privilege to vote. And Shekhawat simply cannot make up his mind how to cast his single vote because he has four saalis to consider.

Harbans Kaur

Besides, his wife, Mohan Kanwar is also an eligible candidate.
In all this commotion, Mohar Singh came up with a brilliant wisecrack when a shout went up for members to be quiet and concentrate on the exercises. “Don’t stop us,” he pleaded. “We get this opportunity (to talk and play the fool) once in 24 hours!”
Predictably, the madness spilled into the post-exercises session with the men selectively teasing the candidates and the women trying to upstage one another amid bouts of rousing laughter. Mumtaz Jahan tried to promote a brand of “Mumtaz Biryani” vis-à-vis “Basmati Rice” (read Bhaswati). Significantly, Bhaswati has stopped distributing lozenges – an undisguised ploy to win over the male voters.
The one person who has distanced herself from all this commotion on vote capturing is Harbans Kaur. “I give you all my blessings,” was her pithy comment before leaving on a four-day pilgrimage to gurudwara Hazoor Sahib, Nanded (in Maharashtra), the final resting place of Guru Gobind Singh. She returns on Saturday, February 20.
Lt Col Angad singh (retd):
The election process is getting into full swing. Women candidates have taken the cue from politicians and are wooing voters with all types of promises. Hope they do not ditch the voters like the politicians who promise something and mean something else! Let us see who is most convincing.

Another Big Bash

Birthday girl MUMTAZ JAHAN celebrates with family and friends

Emboldened by Santosh Tyagi’s unusual act of defiance on Saturday (ref post of February 13), Mumtaz Jahan today celebrated her birthday in the Garden with generous rounds of samosas, salted wafers and sliced cake to be washed down with warm, energizing kahwa (Kashmiri tea) brewed at home.

Mallika Kagzi presents mumtaz with Club calendar 

Dilip Babani distributes Vaishno Devi prasad

Her birthday was yesterday, a Sunday. Being a holiday, she had to push the celebration by a day.
Significantly, Mumtaz’s parents were with us today for the first time. They joined us in the birthday song and applauded with us when Mallika Kagzi presented her a personalised desk calendar from the Club. The old familial feeling of bonding and bonhomie which we were missing since the imposition of certain restrictions on celebrating in the Garden was revived today.
Meanwhile, campaigning for the Woman of the Year-2016 trophy (presented annually on March 8, International Women’s Day) gathered momentum.

Mumtaz organises the food before serving

Swati Punjabi made an earnest bid at garnering votes from male members by appealing to their weakness for good food and hot tea in the morning. Dilip Babani advised her to stick to what she is best at – giving a head massage to anybody who promises to vote for her. But Swati clearly has more appetizing ideas and hobnobbed with Kiran Prakash, Angad Singh, Bijoy Gupta and others for their support.
This time around, there are three criteria on which the winner would be selected – Attendance (regularity and punctuality), whether Active in Club matters (conducting exercises, going out on picnics, etc.) and Adjusting nature (helpful, cooperative, not quarrelsome etc.) It has been made amply clear that dishing out lavish treats or offering gifts will not count for anything. The idea is to have, in all fairness, a level playing field and more importantly, select a lady who should stand out as an example for all members to emulate.
Campaigning concludes 10 days from today. Voting day is February 25 (Thursday). And the trophy, as mentioned earlier, will be presented on March 8.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
The presence of Mumtaz Jahan's parents made all the difference. Parents are overjoyed to be present on such occasions. Well done, Mumtaz!

Day 1902

Pic of the Week

LEVITATION: Look, he's floating... he's going up, up...OMG! 

Nothing doing. The gravitation pull of BIG LAAF is greater. He will come down. --Angad Singh

Floating at 75! He is sharp enough to bring his feet back on earth. --Kiran Prakash

Airlift? Mujhko bhi toh lift kara de, thodi si toh lift kara de! --Bhaswati Bose

Wow! Is that an aeroplane... or a bird? --Anonymous

Timely click! --Kiran Arora

Keep flying high and your health will be great! --Swati Punjabi

Stolen Pleasures

Sunita Jajodia receives calendar

Banoo Apa gifts Santosh Tyagi

Arora greets Mr and Mrs Angad Singh 

Forbidden fruit, they say, is the sweetest. The thrill and the joy of doing what you are not supposed to and then, not getting caught is something that cannot be described in words. It has to be experienced – as we did this morning when Santosh Tyagi celebrated her birthday,

PARTY TIME: Santosh Tyagi plays the gracious hostess

defying a recently imposed embargo on food and beverages inside the Garden.
We bravely had samosas and batata-wada, cake slices, matthis, potato wafers and gulab-jamuns followed by hot tea and did not get caught. It was much like the good old days – a sumptuous spread, tastefully served and consumed at leisure. Nothing could have been better.
Earlier, Banoo Apa presented Santosh a personal gift and the customary desk calendar on behalf of the Club. Srichand Arora gifted Lt Col Angad Singh another desk calendar (since he is unlikely to be here on his birthday in April) while Shekhawat presented Sunita Jajodia the third desk calendar of the morning. It was also an opportunity for us to be introduced to Mrs Angad Singh.
For today’s celebration, one person (apart from Santosh) who deserves special mention is Kiran Prakash. He was instrumental in giving her the moral courage (see post of February 6) to celebrate her birthday the way she wished and the rest be damned. Santosh took his advice in total faith and we became all the wiser for it.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
The gravy friendship of Club members is great. It draws people of all hues from far and near. Enjoy when it is enjoyable!

Scene Stealer

High Drama: Arora consoles an inconsolable Mallika

Mallika Kagzi came up with a smart one this morning. For long, she had enjoyed playing prima donna during our post-exercise sessions, much to the abiding interest and amusement of all late-goers. But over the past one week, due to some 'scary' developments overtaking us (see posts), she felt robbed of that privilege. So today, in her own lady-like way, she decided to hijack the proceedings and hog the limelight.
It was hilllorious. The exercises got over as usual and Mallika quietly slunk away to an empty bench at a distance. It was the surest way to draw attention to herself.

Arun Patil

While the rest of us busied ourselves on something as mundane as the Club’s fund utilisation plans, Mallika cut a forlorn figure, lonely and desolate, sulking in silence.
Significantly, some of her friends had already got wind of Mallika’s plans of putting up a show. It seems she had confided in them that she would quit the Club next month. The men had no clue what she was up to. Out of genuine concern they quickly abandoned their discussion and converged upon her, wanting to know the cause of her grief.
“February is my last month with you people,” she declared, pulling a long face. “I too have some self-respect.

Discussion on utillising the Club's cash reserves

I am not used to be shouted at in front of everybody…”
Since she did not elaborate any further, Srichand Arora assumed somebody among us had hurt her feelings and apologized with folded hands on behalf of the Club. Little did he know that he was actually the culprit as he had rudely scolded her yesterday for interrupting him repeatedly. Everybody instantly connected with the incident and giggled while Arora fervently requested her to reconsider her decision and not quit the Club. “Otherwise we shall all land up outside your house and do the laughter exercises there,” he threatened.
Meanwhile, news comes in of Arun Patil suffering heavy damages on his car. Some miscreants broke into it last night by smashing the windows and had made away with its music system and air conditioning. “They also left behind a packet of hashish,” he informed over the phone. “Obviously it is the handiwork of drug addicts in need of a quick buck.”
Arun leaves early morning tomorrow by train for Faizabad. He is expected back after 10 days. We wish him a safe and happy journey.
Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Raj Hut, Triya Hut and Bal Hut are well known the world over. At one stage or the other, we all have to face these Huts. Today, members had a taste of Triya Hut. It was a scene worth seeing. Good show!