Dream Analysis

Bijoy Gupta (ext left) analyses Shekhawat's (in white T-shirt) dream

Yesterday’s cloudy spell followed by droplets of rain had raised our hopes for a pre-monsoon shower and the air generally cooling down in the Garden. After all, neighboring Karnataka and parts of Kerala have just experienced a bout of unseasonal rain. But here in Mumbai, things are quite the reverse. If anything, the morning has turned even more muggy and sunny.
Given this dull and distressful situation, it was again left to Bijoy Gupta and Shekhawat to lighten the atmosphere by providing some entertainment during the exercises. As regular readers of this blog would know, these two are absolutely incorrigible in taking digs at one another, regardless of Arun Patil’s efforts to rein them in. But then, today’s episode had a little twist.
Before any of us arrived in the Garden, Shekhawat had committed the blunder of confiding in Gupta of having seen the Raazi heroine, Alia Bhatt (ref post of May 26) in his dream last night. Gupta, in all sincerity, had advised him not to make much of dreams as they rarely translate into reality. “A dream remains a dream and it is better left that way,” he consoled Shekhawat.
But somehow word was out and after the exercises Dilip Babani proclaimed that early morning dreams generally turn out to be true. Shekhawat revealed that the actress had indeed appeared in his dreams at 4:00 in the morning. “In that case, your dream is sure to come true," said Gupta, jumping into the conversation. "You are destined to meet Alia Bhatt.”
Then, with a mischievous wink, he turned towards us: “Shekhawat did not disclose what his dream was about. Alia Bhatt had landed a tight slap on his face!”

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Apparently Shekhawat has been day dreaming. The sultry weather, coupled with scant attendance, is having an effect on all. Good show. Do keep laughing.

Bihari Milwani:
I too had a dream early morning. I saw Alia Bhatt waking up Shekhawat-ji with a kiss and asking him to dance with her.

In a Limbo

Discussions on tiding over an emergency situation

Delay over constituting a Managing Committee has put on hold all plans and programmes of the Club for the current financial year.
This came to the fore today morning when the question of celebrating Eid ul-Fitr next month was brought up soon after the exercises. As Siba Prasad Maitra put it, “Since we celebrate Holi and Diwali, we ought to have an Eid party as well.”
Arun Patil informed that the Eid party has generally been a contributory affair and with Yusuf Rassiwala additionally hosting a big bash at his residence, the Club’s involvement on the occasion would be utterly superfluous.

Shekhawat' proudly displays the admission
letter of his grandson to a U.S. university

“It would be a bit too much,” he opined.
Majority opinion though was that independent of who gives or hosts a party, the Club ought to celebrate the festival on its own. “The Club needs to allocate funds for Eid,” Bhaswati Bose argued.
Dilip Babani pointed out that allocation of funds is the prerogative of the Managing Committee and unlike last year, we do not have a clear road map on the events/ occasions the Club would sponsor in the next few months. “We will have to decide on the Eid party fast,” he urged.
Fact is, the existing Managing Committee has outlived its tenure and since April 1, is holding office on an ad hoc basis (till a new committee takes charge). Even so, it is empowered to take decisions on emergency issues which can subsequently be ratified by the new committee.
Alternatively, we shall have to wait for the AGM to be held when, among other things, the new managing committee would assume office. This is not possible in the immediate future – at least while Ramzaan is on. And thereafter, who knows the kind of havoc the monsoon will play and impact our daily attendance?
Rather than wait indefinitely, it would be better to ride on the shoulders of the old committee and get things moving.

Nonsensical

Shekhawat tries to touch Gupta (r) inappropriately

Bijoy Gupta has not yet forgiven Shekhawat on the Raazi fiasco (ref post of May 25). “Today is the fourth day since you took us to that bakwaas movie,” he reminded Shekhawat. “You made me waste four precious hours of my life. Now you better return the hundred bucks I spent on the ticket because of you.”
“What bakwaas are you talking?” Shekhawat took off on the offensive. “The movie has already grossed 100 crore since its release. Were it not for me you wouldn’t have got to see INS Vikrant and how it was deployed in the 1971 war…”
“Forget all that,” Gupta countered. “I am asking for my 100 rupees only!”
“YOU better pay me 100 rupees,” Shekhawat argued. “Because of me you could see Alia Bhatt on the big screen. You should be happy about that.”
“What do I get from watching Alia Bhatt on the screen?” Gupta chuckled. “She means nothing to me. To you, she may be a goddess or whatever, I am least bothered. I want my money back.”
The conversation between the oldies continued in bits and spurts, meant solely for public consumption. After a while, Arun Patil chipped in wanting to know why one was demanding Rs100 from the other. “Why, the ticket cost was Rs80 and autorickshaw fare was Rs20!” Shekhawat explained.
Whatever the intent behind such nonsensical banter, this is all the entertainment we get in these days of high humidity and low attendance. It is wholly to the credit of Shekhawat and Gupta that the mood is still upbeat in the Garden.

Dilip Babani:
Shekhawat and Gupta are really the best jodi of Big Laaf.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Gupta and Shekhawat are capable of countering each other endlessly and keeping everyone guessing about the outcome. They should conserve their energy and talent for the next Annual Function.

‘Dhoni Ki Jai’

Bhaswati celebrates Dhoni's IPL victory

Echoes of the IPL final between Chennai Super Kings (CSK) and Sun Risers Hyderabad (SRH) at Wankhede last night could be heard in the Garden today. Bhaswati Bose celebrated CSK’s emphatic win (by 8 wickets) with chocolates, but on one condition: Before handing each Perk, she insisted on raising a slogan for the winning captain, “Dhoni ki jai!”
Bhaswati is a die-hard M.S.Dhoni fan (regardless of the team he plays for) who believes that CSK’s victory was

Social experiment

a foregone conclusion because of the skipper’s superior strategizing skills. Yusuf Rassiwala however, felt that it took nothing away from SRH’s efforts, particularly that of the ‘mystery bowler’ Rashid Khan from Afghanistan in propelling the team to the final.
“It was actually Shane Watson all the way,” opined Siba Prasad Maitra. “He had a slow start, but once he got going, hitting one boundary after another, he had sealed the fate of SRH. Imagine, piling up 117 runs on a trot and remaining not out… Dhoni did not even have to bat!”
Clearly, everybody had watched the match on television last night. But Bijoy Gupta felt it was an unbearably “boring, one-sided affair” lacking in the

Santosh Tyagi delivers today's quota of jokes

nail-biting climax that “comes with having to score 18 runs with four balls remaining”. Kiran Prakash also sounded a discordant note. He is convinced that Watson was on steroids as it is “not humanly possible for a 37-year-old to score so many sixes”.
As a minor diversion, Santosh Tyagi came up with a list of jokes while Yusuf R posed a brain teaser (narrated by Bhaswati) in the nature of a social experiment. You are driving on a stormy night when you spot three people in a bus stop. One is the woman of your dreams. The second is a good friend who once saved your life. And the third is an old woman who looks really sick. If you had only one seat in your car who would you offer a lift to?
From Shekhawat to Bijoy Gupta to Arun Patil and Dilip Babani, everybody said they would offer the seat to the beautiful young thing. Only Kiran Prakash had a different take: “I would get down from the car, give the keys to my friend and ask him to take the old woman along in the car. I would then be left with the woman of my dreams!”

Bihari Milwani:
What is the full form of IPL? Is it a match in cricket or football, or hockey? Why the name of the game is given as IPL?

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
IPL contests are quite enjoyable. In fact, this is one event worth enjoying. All other events become secondary. It is nice to learn that all our members also enjoyed the IPL final and celebrated the victory of CSK. Good. Keep enjoying and laughing.

DAY 2560

Pic of the Week

Can you think up a suitable caption?

Very nice photo! --Dilip Babani

Running behind the little boy to snatch his chocolate? Not fair ! Buy your own. --Kiran Prakash

Catch me, if you can!!! --Bihari Milwani

Beautiful picture!!! -- Geeta Latte

Untold Story

Still from the movie, Raazi

Bijoy Gupta is notorious for sleeping through movies. But yesterday he did not sleep through Raazi (see previous post). He was obliged to stay awake because Shekhawat had specifically requested him for his company and had even picked him up from

Bijoy Gupta

home for the morning show at Fun Cinema.
The movie was billed as a spy thriller, set against the backdrop of the Indo-Pak war of 1971. Starring Alia Bhatt and Vicky Kaushal, it had graphic scenes of INS Vikrant, the first aircraft carrier built in India which enforced the naval

Aman with his mom

blockade of East Pakistan during the war – an event of nostalgic value to Shekhawat.
But not to Gupta. Half an hour into the film, he concluded he had been conned into watching a “documentary” that made no sense. Much to the annoyance of other viewers in the darkness of the auditorium, he

Bihari Milwani (from left) with Karishma, Aman, Anjali and Shekhawat 

declared aloud: “This is not a Hindi film.”
A dozen heads turned around and Shekhawat ssh-ed him. But Gupta remained unaffected and kept fidgeting around continuously. “Let’s go home,” he insisted, disturbing everybody around. Seeing his restlessness, Santosh Tyagi’s granddaughter made a polite remark: “Maybe, uncle does not like the film.”
Still Gupta could not be bothered. He went on to rib Shekhawat for getting him to suffer a good-for-nothing film and in all fairness, the ticket money ought to be refunded. He also threatened to take Shekhawat to task “in front of everybody” when he shows up at the Garden.
But Gupta did not turn up today. Clearly, he was exhausted after yesterday’s experience and his version of the story remains untold.
In his place, we had the pleasure of Mr Aman Aswani’s company during the exercises. A doting grandpa, Bihari Milwani escorted him to the Garden together with his mom Anjali and Karishma mausi. The tiny tot took a while to size us up and thereafter, once the exercises were over, there was no holding him back.
He was all over the place – much to Shekhawat’s infinite wonder and envy.

Movie Outing

Film poster

Shekhawat today kickstarted the first movie outing of the season with a trip to Fun Cinemas for a screening of Raazi, starring Alia Bhatt and Vicky Kaushal. It is a spy thriller set against the Indo-Pak war of 1971 -- a subject close to Shekhawat’s heart given his defence background and from the way he went about persuading people to join him for the show.
So impressed was Bijoy Gupta by Shekhawat’s enthusiasm that he announced outright that it

Gupta and Shekhawat plot their moves

would be a free show, meant exclusively for Big Laaf members. “You needn’t pay for your tickets,” he declared. “Shekhawat is treating you not only to the picture but also to popcorn, tea, cold drinks, snacks... whatever you wish. Don’t miss this opportunity of a life-time!”
It was of course, all in jest. But Gupta and Shekhawat were already making mischief even before we had landed in the Garden early morning. Spotting two “smart women” (Gupta’s words) occupying the bench they normally sit on, Shekhawat prodded Gupta to go speak to them.

Karishma (ext rt) drops by with her dad, Bihari Milwani

“I can speak, but what do I tell them?”
“Just tell them we are going for a movie and would they come with us,” Shekhawat urged.
“Arrey baap re, why do you want to get me beaten up so early in the morning?” Gupta pleaded. “Yes, I can tell them at the most to join us for the exercises.”
“In that case, you better not go. I never knew you are so scared of women. I can jolly well go and tell them to join the Club!”
Shekhawat got up when, according to Gupta, the two women panicked and fled. “They saw an evil looking old man advancing towards them and out of sheer fright, they took to their heels!”
That was not all. Minutes later Arun Patil arrived and sat on the same bench. Oddly enough one of the “smart women” returned and sat on an adjacent bench while Gupta and Shekhawat watched from a distance. It did not take long for Arun Patil to strike a conversation with the woman and once again, Shekhawat advanced in that direction, hoping to get a word edgeways. Instantly the woman got up and walked away.
What transpired between Shekhawat and Gupta during the movie makes for another story. Watch this space.

Nose Dive

'Band of Boys' having a blast

Since the start of Ramzaan last Thursday, attendance in the Garden has nose-dived, predictably. On one particular day last week, we were no more than just three for the exercises.
But today, thankfully, we were a happy 10 – which included Yusuf Rassiwala and Naseer Putani Shah. Significantly, it was entirely an all-men’s group, but for Bhaswati Bose. By and large, the ladies seem to have decided

Role Model: Kiran Prakash

to stay away en masse from the Garden.
In all this, Kiran Prakash came in for high praise. “Just imagine,” bellowed Bijoy Gupta. “This man drives all the way down from Malad just to be with us every morning. He has not missed the exercises a single day. What’s more, he is always here before time. And we, who stay adjacent to the Garden, are never punctual and quite often do not show up at all!”
Everybody agreed that Kiran Prakash,

R.I.P. Ram Shankar Shukla

in his own quiet way, has set an example for us to emulate. “It is from people like him that the Club draws its strength,” Gupta observed.
Some even suggested that Kiran Prakash should ideally return to his old flat in Lokhadwala as it would save him the rigors of daily commute from Malad.
Meanwhile, news comes in on the demise of Ram Shankar Shukla. It is more than a year since he had stopped coming to the Garden. He celebrated his 81st birthday with us on May 30, 2016 (see post) and after that, has been quite erratic for the exercises. At times, he would lose his way back home, mysteriously showing up at some bank or post office. It was then that we detected signs of dementia and one day, when he lost consciousness while exercising, we stopped insisting that he come to the Garden every day. Before long, his family informed that he had moved to Kanpur to be with his daughter. Still, we kept in touch with his son off and on and would inquire about Shukla-ji's welfare every time.
Now we are told that he is no more. He passed away two months back – peacefully. May his soul rest in peace.

Deferred

Razia Khan takes charge in mobilizing members for the managing committee

Discussions continue in the China Hut 

Steps being taken to constitute a new Managing Committee for the club have failed to generate any enthusiasm. So far only three members have put in their names – that too, rather reluctantly. In view of the lukewarm response, the last date for submitting nominations has been deferred by two days – to May 11 (Friday).
The AGM is scheduled for May 12, 2018.
Meanwhile, Razia Khan took the initiative today in mobilizing members to take part in the ‘committee formation’ exercise. In an impromptu meeting (that started in the Garden lawn and ended in the China Hut) several names were thrown up for consideration. Some members were also approached personally and their responses have been positive so far.
The problem, as we were to realize, is an embargo on the outgoing members from re-contesting the election – the rationale being to infuse fresh blood and ideas on taking the Club forward. Otherwise, as Siba Prasad Maitra pointed out, the “old committee members may as well be voted back” in office. But then again, not everybody among them is willing to continue.
This has severely restricted the ‘pool of eligible members’ from which the new committee may be drawn. Additionally, not everyone is capable or keen enough to take on the responsibility. In these circumstances, persuasion hardly works. We need people who volunteer their services with the Club’s interest uppermost in their minds. This is a tall order, again limiting our options.
On the other hand, it is not imperative that we come up with a full complement of nine members to replace the outgoing nine-member committee. The Club rules provide for a minimum of three and as such, five to seven members should be good enough. The good news is that Razia has been able to identify eight potential members for the new committee, in consultation with all others present.
What remains now is a little fine-tuning over the next two days.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Elections are an important event and we should all participate enthusiastically in it. It is also desirable that new blood should be infused. Ours is a progressive institution and it is essential that a new team should come forward and make an impact. I hope some dedicated people will find time to shoulder the responsibilities and manage the activities of the Club.

Kiran Prakash:
I regretfully inform that the blog monster's father has expired. My heartfelt condolences are with the family. I pray for the departed soul to rest in peace.

Dipping Attendance

Shekhawat's rail gaadi... THE SHOW MUST GO ON! 

Daily attendance continues to hover in the region of 12 to 15 during the exercises. Absentees would always be forthcoming with ready excuses, but what is quite evident this summer is the tendency to oversleep in the mornings. There is a general reluctance to step out of the air-conditioned comfort of a bedroom and brave the sultry weather outside.
“Why doesn’t Shekhawat start collecting money just like that?” Bijoy Gupta opined a few days back. “The reason for collecting money does not matter. What matters is our eagerness to pay him. This is the specialty of our Big Laaf club. Shekhawat has only to make an announcement and however flimsy the reason, everyone would land up the Garden to pay up. That way we can be assured

Gate meeting with Arun Patil (l)

of 100 per cent turn out.”
Gupta has himself stopped coming of late as he has discovered that rather than the morning, it is “more comfortable” in the evening to step out of home. But he unwittingly raised a pertinent point. In the absence of an engaging activity that affords some recreation/ entertainment, there is nothing compelling enough to draw people to the Garden these days.
For example, Santosh Tyagi has stopped coming to exercise, but the moment she was told that plans are on for a movie outing (most probably, Raazi), she promised to resume her Garden routine. Likewise, many are still hoping for a day picnic, in spite of the oppressive weather. There are other options too, but that will all happen after the new managing committee takes office.
Meanwhile, Nahid Khan packed her bags and has left for Lucknow today. Karuna Waghmare is threatening to go to Canada on a holiday. Qadeer Bano has guests at home. So does Rukhsana Khan… And then, there’s the month of Ramzaan beginning next week when attendance will drop further. But then, as they say, the show must go on.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
AC bedrooms are certainly cozy and provide enough excuse to oversleep. However, this is at the cost of many health benefits. One should be dauntless and exploit every occasion to be in the Garden. Early morning oxygen is free of cost. You will not get it in the late hours or in the evenings. Keep coming and laughing.

Triple Bash

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FAHMIDA KHAN!

It was one birthday, celebrated in three parts. One-third was observed inside the Garden with tetrapacks of fruit juice. One-third was celebrated in a fast food joint with hot idli-vada, fresh from the oven and rounded off with chilled lassi, courtesy Banoo Apa. And the remaining one-third was in the ground floor lobby of Fahmida Khan’s building complex

Receiving the b'day calendar

with a conventional cake-cutting ceremony.
The birthday was actually yesterday, but being a Sunday, the celebration had to be pushed by a day. Clearly, it was well worth the wait.
Prior to all this, Yusuf Rassiwala formally felicitated Fahmida with the Club’s birthday calendar amid a round of applause. We did a little jig, raised an extra laugh and sang the birthday song.

Fresh idli-vada from a fast-food joint

Pity Fahmida’s cute little grand-daughter Saleha (ref yesterday’s photo) was not present, but she was there later with her mother, Ayesha lending a helping hand during the cake-cutting.
Fahmida had come suitably decked for the occasion, resplendent in a gorgeous midnight blue salwar-kameez (with gold and pink floral embroidery) which made her look years younger to what we are accustomed to seeing her as. Shekhawat cheekily attributed her looks to “spending the night in beauty parlour” while Yusuf R joked that she “did not look a day over 30”!
But to the rest of us it was the sumptuous treat lined up in phases that took our breath away. More significantly, it was Banoo Apa’s home-made lassi that had left us with a lasting after-taste – long after we were done with all the idli-vada and cake slices. This was Banoo Apa’s personal and by all accounts, a priceless gift for the birthday girl.

Setting up the birthday cake

Fahmida cuts the cake

Shekhawat gets the first bite

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
Happy Birthday, Fahmida and wish you a happy, healthy and enjoyable long life. It is wonderful that we celebrate birthdays together like this. These celebrations stand out as memorable events in life. Banoo Apa is always doing something as an elder sister to supplement the celebrations and otherwise also on a daily basis. Good work. Keep it up and keep laughing.

DAY 2553

Pic of the Week

Many Happy
Returns
of the Day,

FAHMIDA KHAN

Happy Birthday, dear Aunty ������ --Geeta Latte

Happy Birthday, Fahmida-ji --Dilip Babani

Many Happy Returns of the Special Day, our special Fahmida-ji --Karun Sharma

Collision Course

Two rail gaadis -- one of Bijoy Gupta (l) and the other of Shekhawat (r) -- headed for a shattering collision

Shekhawat (r) clashes with Gupta

Shekhawat today got on a collision course with a vengeance. Nobody now appreciates his never-ending pranks and tomfoolery. Razia Khan insisted he stay rooted to one spot for the time she conducted the exercises. Nahid Khan threatened to impose a fine should he budge an inch and when that did not work, suggested a cowbell be strung around Shekhawat’s neck.
Khatoon Baig assumed responsibility to discipline him (like the headmistress she once was) but soon gave up. Rukhsana Khan, Banoo Apa and others too had their own prescriptions to “tame” Shekhawat, but to no avail. It seemed as though he was beyond all control.
At one point when he realised nobody was paying any attention to him, he turned towards a crow (yes, crow) that had settled close to his feet. He playfully teased it, scolded it, chased it… and the crow hopped about, challenging him to a chase.

Shekhawat announces schedule for Club elections

He ran after it and before long, let it be. But the crow refused to take wing and in moments, was back at Shekhawat’s feet.
Ultimately it took some quick out-of-the-box thinking on the part of Bihari Milwani to unsettle Shekhawat. The 'rail gaadi round' had just started when Bihari got Bijoy Gupta to head a counter rail gaadi running in the opposite direction simultaneously.
The inevitable happened: The two rail gaadis collided, sparking an instant head-to-head combat between the two ageing 'engine drivers'!
It all ended on a sobering note with Bihari submitting the audited accounts and draft balance sheet – a pre-requisite for the AGM later in the month. Shekhawat formally invited nominations for the Club’s new managing committee (for 2018-2020) and announced May 9, 2018 (Wednesday) to be the last date for submission of names. We need to get through this election process soon and the only way to ensure maximum participation is to have it before the start of the holy month of Ramzaan in mid-May. When members return mid-June, monsoon would have already descended and that again, would rob us of a decent turnout. And we cannot possibly wait till the monsoon ends. Hence the urgency.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
New ideas, new tendencies and new attributes are welcome -- so long as we all enjoy the fun and frolicking. Keep laughing and enjoy!

Wicked Wishes

Kiran Prakash (l) administers first aid to Gupta

Normal people usually pray for the good and welfare of all. We too have always wished the best for everyone and pray that we survive the exercises every morning in one piece. But after procuring the first aid kit yesterday, something changed.
Secretly, we have been eager to put the medicine supplies to use. Otherwise the whole purpose of putting together a medical kit would go waste. Wicked as this may sound, we were hoping and praying for a medical emergency to arise in the Garden so as to justify the first aid kit!
Our prayers were answered too soon. In a bizarre enactment of black comedy, Bijoy Gupta today presented us the perfect opportunity to inaugurate the first aid kit. He just could not bend down after the ‘bird fly’ exercise and holding his waist, kept staring at the ground suspiciously.
After a while, he made a face and headed towards a bench. “I can’t take the heat anymore,” he declared. “I’m going home.”
This was the moment we were waiting for. Kiran Prakash promptly galloped towards the Gate to retrieve a red bag of medical supplies from his car.

Nahid Khan (c) conducts exercises with 'dedh haath' 

Meanwhile, Shekhawat gave Gupta company – to be joined by Dilip Babani later. Gupta kept mumbling, “This is nothing but dehydration” and then suddenly, he woke up: “Has Kiran-ji gone to the market for me?”
Kiran Prakash was back and like Alladin’s genie, produced a bottle of Electral water for Gupta. “Keep sipping from this slowly and you will be fine,” he advised. The exercises were continuing. After a few minutes, Gupta looked pepped up and was trying some breathing exercises on the bench. But he did not return to the exercise circle.
On a happier note, Nahid Khan returned to conducting our exercises after a gap of two months. She had injured her left shoulder after a fall, but did not show any doctor. The pain persisted and when she consulted a physiotherapist, it was too late. Her arm had become immobilized.
Today however, we could see a marked improvement in her, even as she could not raise the arm fully. She had to lift it with her right hand – a comic situation at times during the exercises, thereby prompting Karuna Waghmare to remark: “Nahid is exercising with one-and-half hands!”

‘Leave Vacancy’

Kiran Prakash officiates in conducting the exercises

After what seemed like ages, Kiran Prakash today took to the middle and conducted the main exercises of the morning. There was a reason. He had to fill in for regular ‘teachers’ like Nahid Khan, Arun Patil and Razia Khan who had together done the vanishing trick. Khatoon Baig described our predicament politely in two words: ‘Leave Vacancy’!
That said, it was hunky dory all the way. Kiran Prakash himself set the tone for the group by turning the exercises into an interactive session and inviting the rest to keep count with him. Shekhawat had a free run in Arun Patil’s absence and was all over the place.

Zarina Khan (l) lodges protest with Shekhawat

Late comers like Naheed Siddiqui and Naseem Khan strolled in casually without fear of getting pulled up. Karuna Waghmare did not even bother to exercise and for the most part, kept talking to herself on a bench.
In keeping with this light-hearted, freewheeling atmosphere, Siba Prasad Maitra narrated two jokes, one so-called “non-veg, but not quite”.

Siba Prasad Maitra revives jokes session after a year

The other was in the nature of a ghost story on election fraud – a man discovering his dead wife had cast her vote in a poll booth ahead of him. More than the story, it was Maitra’s style of narration -- stretching the suspense of an otherwise commonplace situation -- that had us all in splits.
One way to explain the cheerful and carefree mood today was the absence of a domineering task master in our midst. That Arun Patil was away had resulted in the typical ‘mice at play’ situation. Everybody felt liberated. But then, Rukhsana Khan was to reveal that Arun was actually peeved over some people defying his authority and in protest, had decided to stay put at home. He even named Shekhawat, Banoo Apa, Bhaswati Bose and Zarina Khan as his prime tormentors.
Funny part was when Zarina heard her name being taken. “I didn’t even come yesterday!” she squealed. “What is that man talking? Let him come here, I’ll teach him a lesson!”
This was music to Shekhawat's ears.

First Aid Kit

Siba Prasad Maitra reads out the list of essentials for an emergency medical kit

With the help of Siba Prasad Maitra, the Club today managed to cobble together a rather rudimentary but much needed ‘first aid kit’ to meet any medical emergency (ref post of April 30) arising in the course of our daily exercises in the Garden.
Apart from band aid strips, cotton wool and bandage roll, the kit contains the following bare essentials:
ELECTRAL: for dehydration
ONDEM: for vomiting
SORBITRATE: chest pain
CALPOL: pain and fever
GELUSIL MPS: antacid
GLUCON-D: fatigue/ exhaustion
SOFRAMYCIN: wounds
DETTOL: antiseptic
Maitra drew up this list based on his assessment on the possibility of a medical crisis and till such time professional help arrives. We already have a so-called Swasthya Kendra (health centre) within the Garden area, but it does not open before 8:30 a.m. – long after we are done with our morning routine.
Among all of us, Maitra is best-suited in putting together the medical kit, considering his wisdom of experience (from a life-long career) in the pharma industry.

Banoo Apa treats us to pudding after exercises

Still, he invited all present for inputs, if any, to improve upon his list, only to

Nagpur pedas from Fahmida Khan (r)

be faced with a peculiar query: “What happens when I get diarrhea?”
Pat came his answer: “Next you will ask what happens when a mad dog bites you. There is no end to medical issues. Here we are concerned with likely medical emergencies that could occur to any of us in the Garden and being better prepared to deal with them.”

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
The medicines mentioned by Maitra are quite adequate. However, the serious emergencies are (a)uncontrolled BP and (b)heart attack. These types of emergencies need first aid treatment for which someone should teach us how to handle the situation.

New Moniker

The final face-off... but no offence meant!

Today was MAY DAY, better known as International Labour Day. For us in the Garden, it was also Maharashtra Day. It also marked the first day of Shab e-Barat – an important day of prayer and fasting by the Islamic calendar. Yet Rukhsana Khan, Nahid Siddiqui, Khatoon Baig and

Banoo Apa

many others braved the blistering morning sun and reported for the exercises on time.
Among them, the one to leave a

Arun Patil

lasting impact was Banoo Apa -- all for her acerbic tongue. In a sudden rush of inspiration, she decided to christen Arun Patil (of all the people) as “Mohammad Kasim Thaklo”! Where that came from, nobody knows. Nor was the provocation for conferring such a lofty title apparent. But Mohammad Kasim Thaklo sounded nice and dramatic. And to Shekhawat, this was just what the doctor ordered -- a convenient stick to beat Arun Patil with.
Barely a week back, Arun had ticked off Shekhawat for calling him “Tokam Toki”, saying that his parents had lovingly given him a name inspired by the solar deity and we ought to respect that. But today, Arun did not dare challenge Banoo Apa for her Mohammad Thaklo jibe. He knew where this could lead do, given Banoo’s way with words. After all, she’s the one to famously brand free-loaders at our parties as “Muft mein chandan, ghiss mere Nandan!”
Turns out Mohammad Kasim Thaklo is for real – a cook who was in the employ of Banoo Apa’s family in Valsad. “He used to be a big kaam chor”, she added.

Lt Col Angad Singh (retd):
The name game adds spice to the proceedings of Big Laaf club. One should take such things sportingly. Enjoy and be happy. Do not mind these small pinpricks.