New Milestone

In the mad crossfire of comments on yesterday’s ‘terrorists’ (see post), we had missed out on one small but significant detail. The number of hits on this blog has quietly crept past the half-million mark. At the time of today’s post, the counter alongside read 5,00,119 page views – a major milestone for any blog on health and wellness from India.
We can only thank the many hundreds of our readers, members and followers across India and around the globe for their abiding support and encouragement. When we started out in 2010, it was beyond our wildest dream that we would ever reach this point. After all, why should anybody in some far-flung corner of the country – let alone world – be ever interested

Another happy morning in the Garden

in the antics of a group of senior citizens meeting every morning in Lokhandwala, Mumbai, ostensibly to enjoy a good laugh? We are all on the last lap of our lives, none of us are celebrities… nobody even knows us outside our immediate circle of friends and yet, dear reader, you have persisted with us. For that, we shall remain ever grateful.
We would like to also believe that a reason for the sustenance of this blog is its regularity. Rarely has a day gone by in the past six years when there has been no update/ post. This has doubtless helped build a strong and loyal readership base. But six years is also a long time. Fatigue sets in. It may no longer be possible to sustain the blog on a regular basis and as such, it would appear only off and on. In other words, it shall cease to be a daily blog henceforth. This has become all the more necessary for another reason. It should hopefully dispel all doubts/ suspicion about a financial motive/ interest in running this blog.
Once again, thank you EVERYBODY.
Kiran Prakash:
Congratulations on hitting the 5,00,000 mark. Blog Monster, you have created history. Unbelievable, unimaginable. Credit goes only to you and your reporting -- continuous, uninterrupted for the last six years. Reporting, which has been factual to the core and fearless to the extent that inspite of being threatened, you did not compromise. 5,00,000 hits is readers' reward to you. Kudos!
Dilip Babani:
Congratulations and god bless, Blog Monster. With you, the Big Laaf family will grow and grow... and grow.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Blog Monster deserves not only a big congratulation but also a big laaf for crossing the big milestone of 500,000 hits. It is a unique opportunity for celebrating. We are sure Blog Monster will continue to keep us glued to the blog by his sincere, witty and eagerly awaited reporting of the Club, especially for those like me sitting far away. It makes us feel we are still part of the activities of the Club.

Terrorists!

Kajal Babani (l) and Bhaswati Bose

In the new dispensation under Mallika Kagzi, the Club is witnessing a major transformation. Absenteeism has dropped dramatically. Attendance hovers around a healthy 30 or so on any given day. Ram Shankar Shukla, Yusuf Rassiwala, Mumtaz Jahan and many others who were not-so-regular earlier, are reporting before time these days and hanging around long after the exercises are over. Clearly, the mood is upbeat. “There is so much shanti now,” is the common refrain.
Many would like to attribute this easy bonhomie to the absence of restrictions (in the name of discipline) and the freewheeling manner exercises are conducted, peppered with lighthearted banter and random leg-pulling. The jokes narration after the exercises is proving to be another big draw (ref post of April 23) what with Bhaswati Bose and Kajal Babani dominating the session. They are supposed to be repositories of Internet jokes and have become huge crowd magnets for their style of delivery and the variety on offer.

All for a laaf!

“From tomorrow both should come prepared with five-five jokes each,” demanded Dilip Babani when the ladies ran out of their stock of jokes today.
But appearances can be deceptive. Behind their cheery exterior, Kajal and Bhaswati are known to nurse a mischievous streak that can scare the daylights out of an unsuspecting murga (as they describe their victims). Ask Siba Prasad Maitra. On occasion, he has been taken by surprise by their practical jokes and has had to counter them with equally effective (if somewhat misplaced) rejoinders. Kiran Prakash is another. Having been a victim earlier, he too is always on his guard and must rely on his ready wit and presence of mind to save himself from potentially awkward situations. There are others as well (women included) who are aware of the consequences of letting their guard down when Kajal and Bhaswati are around.
That these two peaceful looking ladies are capable of terrorizing people by their antics is by itself a joke.
Kiran Prakash:
I cannot figure what these two ladies, Kajal Babani and Bhaswati Bose are up to. In spite of having their husbands in the Garden, they are together so mischievous and always looking for a potential murga. Individually though, they are harmless. I will team up with Maitra-ji and devise a strategy to ensure that they don't see eye to eye.
Siba Prasad Maitra:
Dear Kiran-ji, why do you want to team up with me when I am most irregular to the Garden? You are saying both the ladies are harmless. Then why to worry? Have courage and face them boldly. I will be behind you.
Kiran Prakash replies:
Dear Maitra-ji, let us fix days when both of us will be present in the Garden. And please be on my side, not behind me. Please also do not encourage terrorism.
Kiran Prakash adds:
I have known Maitra-ji since the last 30 years. He has never supported anti-social elements. He has always been very cordial to me. I am sure, his mind has been polluted by these two innocent looking, terrorist ladies. I am surprised. He will regret later for supporting these elements.
By the way, I am not feeling too well -- having fever, cough and cold. I feel, I should take rest for a few days.
Bhaswati Bose:
JO DAR GAYA, WOH MAR GAYA!!!
Kiran Prakash retorts:
This is getting a little too far. I will approach the Anti-Terrorist Squad. There has to be complete peace and harmony in the Club. Two ladies cannot take control of the Club.
Siba Prasad Maitra:
You are right Kiran-ji. I will be there tomorrow. But if you are not well and don't come, it will be difficult for me to manage alone. Get well soon.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
The hidden aspect of big time terrorism of these two young ladies was unknown to all of us. Was this simmering behind the cult of discipline imposed by the earlier Managing Committee? Unleashing it now proves that the ladies can hide any secret for a long time innocently -- which is contrary to popular belief.

Morning Melody

Bunty Bhai holds his audience spellbound

For a change today, the morning was filled with lilting melody and pure nostalgia. Instead of just jokes, we had a couple of singers from the Garden joining us in the post-exercise session and on request, rendering a few yesteryear hits that could only leave us asking for more.
Vasudev Bhateja is of course, a familiar voice to all, having earned the reputation of a flawless Mukesh soundalike. But oddly enough, he started out with a vintage Kishore Kumar number today -- Mere mehboob qayamat hogi from Mr X in Bombay (1964).

Happy Birthday, Shekhawat

Hearing him from a distance, a young man in red T-shirt abandoned his workout and came up to us to pitch some more chartbusters – the most haunting one being the Mohammad Rafi classic, Abhi na jaao chhod kar from Hum Dono (1961).

Mallika announces Housie

Turns out that Bunty Bhai is a professional singer, having an orchestra group of his own and is known to several members of Big Laaf.
The bigger event of the day though, was Nafisa Sayyed’s visit to the Garden. It is more than two years since she had shifted to Pune and looked as cheerful and sprightly as we saw her last. She however, complained of a worsening diabetes condition, which might necessitate an eye surgery.

Luddoos from Nafisa Sayyed

Otherwise, she maintained that all is hunky-dory with her, the family business (in textile trade) is expanding (“We have three shops now in Pune”) and that she had come with a box of luddoos to share her happiness with us. She said she would be returning to Pune tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Mallika Kagzi announced that a Housie Session is being organized in the China Hut on Saturday, April 30 soon after the exercises and that it would be open to non-members also. A revenue-generation initiative, she explained that “Housie shall henceforth be a regular feature of the Club and be held on the last Saturday of every month”. She would however, be away at Surat from April 29 and not be able to attend the first session this weekend.
In all this, we had clean forgotten that it was Shekhawat’s birthday today. We usually raise an extra laugh on every member’s birthday – but probably, it would have been inappropriate for Shekhawat as he is presently in mourning, attending the last rites of his brother-in-law (sister’s husband) in Rajasthan. Nevertheless, through this blog, we wish him a long, healthy and cheerful life as always.
Kiran Prakash:
* What is there in this group for people to keep coming back even when they are on a short visit to the city? Nafisa's visit this morning only speaks of the love, affection and trust she shares with the members. Big Laaf continues to surprise me. This is a new- found love for me. I pray it stays like this.
* I wish Hari-ji a very happy birthday and many happy returns of the day. Pray for his long, healthy and happy life.
Bihari Milwani:
Gupta-ji, your president is proceeding on leave. Seize the reins and issue an ordinance: The uniform for Housie (to be played on Saturday) would be half-pants, both for ladies and gents. There must be no discrimination on caste, creed or gender.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
* Big Laaf has a strong magnetic field. It attracts people sitting miles away. It is this magnetism that keeps everyone together. I wish the club and its members long life. Happy Birthday to Hari Shekhawat.
* Change is the spice of life. Be it Housie or the joining of an old member for a day or so, it revives memories which we all cherish.

Mock Fight

Bijoy Gupta engages Mallika Kagzi in a mock fight

Bijoy Gupta turned 73. Dressed in trade-mark half pants and t-shirt, he looked every bit a bright-eyed schoolboy eager to impress as he celebrated his birthday this morning with wife Pushpa and food packets from Vyanjan.
We raised an extra fourth laugh as usual and sang the birthday song for the birthday boy. Ram Shankar Shukla was to present him the personalized desk calendar on behalf of the Club.
Even so, it was evident that Gupta had not yet forgiven Mallika Kagzi. He went on an offensive straight out, charging her of banishing shorts from the Club (ref post of April 15) from the time she took over as Big Laaf president.
He harped on her dictatorial attitude and how everybody was so scared of her that they meekly toed her line. “But you cannot frighten me,” he insisted raising his voice amid titters all around.

Bijoy and Pushpa Gupta

“It is time you withdrew your firman on half pants!”

The Guptas spread good cheer

Not one to be cowed down easily, Mallika gave Gupta her standard finger-wagging and tongue-lashing treatment, little realizing that much of the bravado from this diminutive man stemmed from his wife’s presence in the Garden today. He needed to prove to her in public that he was the one to also wear the knickers in the Club (both figuratively and otherwise) and that a woman better not dictate terms to him – at least not on his birthday.
It was a no-go situation, leading nowhere. If anything, everyone had a good laugh for the time their banter went on, well knowing that neither of them was serious. Everything was for effect, meant to entertain and spread a feeling of bonhomie and good cheer around. Can there be any better reason for celebrating a birthday?
Many happy returns of the day, once again, Gupta-ji!
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
All is excused in mock fighting for the sake of a Happy Birthday. Keep laughing - a very good medicine, available gratis. Some of our old colleagues ought to take a cue.
Bihari Milwani:
Gupta-ji, why don't you put on two half-pants from tomorrow? Two half equals one full. It will satisfy the new presidential ordinance as well as meet your needs of comfort.
Dilip Babani:
Happy Birthday, Gupta-ji!

Day 1957

Pic of the Week

SUPREMELY ABLED: BRAVO!!!

This reminds me, ours must be the only exercise club where a physically challenged person is capable of conducting the exercises and 30-odd able-bodied people follow him. Hats off to you, Arun dear. And yes lady, you are in perfectly safe hands. --Kiran Prakash

I love this 'Picture of the Week' because my mother is in it. She has always been active and full of life. I am happy she loves this social circle. --Tripti Panjabi

WARNING: Please put on helmets and not the Big Laaf cap! --Bihari Milwani

Making Hey-Hey…

Everybody is a jokester these days

Mallika's chai and jokes go together

Whatever anybody might say about the summer this year, we have figured out that the only way to beat the heat is to make ‘hey-hey’ as the sun shines. This was after one week and three unsuccessful attempts at dodging the sun in the Garden during the exercises. No matter where we relocated ourselves, there could be no escape from the blazing sun poring over us as the morning wore on. For the present though, we have found a shaded patch under the trees, not very far from our old stomping ground. But this is just a temporary reprieve.
In the circumstances, the jokes’ session after the exercises has assumed great importance. What used to be a casual time-pass – depending on whether Santosh Tyagi would come equipped with her ‘notes’ – has now become an everyday affair. What’s more, everybody is a jokester these days. Even an otherwise reticent Kajal Babani is coming up with some terrific gems – not to mention her husband Dilip as well as Banoo Apa and Yusuf Rassiwala… leaving us all reeling and roaring in laughter.
The ring leader is of course, Siba Prasad Maitra. With a natural gift of the gab, his very presence in the Garden has become the cause of much mirth, long before he can even utter a word. As one to disapprove the practice of ‘reading out’ jokes, he went on to narrate a long-winded whodunit today that many would have heard earlier. But everybody waited with bated breath for him to finish. As always, it is Maitra’s style of narration that makes stale jokes sound fresh.
This is however, not to undermine the style or talent of the others – be it Banoo Apa’s deadpan humour, Bijoy Gupta’s rapidfire gags, Dilip Babani’s dramatic punchlines, Yusuf Rassiwala’s cerebral teasers, Bhaswati Bose’s penchant for mimicry… just about anything to draw out a few hey-hey ha-has while the sun shines!

Sweltering

Kiran Prakash holds fort today

As much of India reels under severe drought, we, in the Garden, are having our share of misery in the sweltering summer heat. Mercifully, there are kind souls like Mallika Kagzi and Swati Punjabi lugging in bottles of water every morning, quenching parched throats and saving us from certain dehydration.
But there are also many like Nahid Khan, Razia Khan, Nasir Putani Shah and others, who are more seriously affected and have reported sick, some with symptoms of viral fever. Kiran Prakash too has been suffering for the past three days and yet, took upon himself this morning to conduct the free-hand exercises -- all because none of the regular ‘teachers’ were present today.
This had never happened earlier. It was an emergency-like situation prompting Mallika to send out an SOS to Yusuf Rassiwala (an old ‘teacher’) to rush to the Garden and take charge of the exercises. He responded obediently, but was late by a few minutes – by which time Kiran Prakash was already there in the middle, merrily orchestrating the free-hand round in his own inimitable style.

Yusuf Rassiwala (l) and Dilip Babani

This was incidentally, after a spot of entertainment provided by Bijoy Kumar Gupta. He offered to help out upon observing that Kiran Prakash was unwell and that there was nobody else to hold fort. He stepped into the circle and like any rookie, politely appealed for everybody’s indulgence and to correct him should he make a mistake at any stage.
People usually get the sequence of exercises wrong, but Gupta, on the very first drill mixed it up with the second. Only he is capable of committing such a howler. And when it raised an uproar (with even Tara Chand insisting on shooing him away), Gupta kept a straight face. “What to do, I forget everything when I am in the centre!” he said.
In all this hilarity -- serving only to distract from the adverse weather conditions -- a strange fact came to light: Yusuf R habitually addresses Dilip Babani as “Dilip Kumar”. And Dilip calls Yusuf R as “Yusuf Bhai”. It is some coincidence that the real name of senior Bollywood star, Dilip Kumar is Yusuf Khan. “Two people same name,” was how Dilip explained this odd connection.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is surprisingly too hot for the season throughout the country. We all are responsible for this. All the same, everyone must be careful and drink water or nimboo pani frequently to remain alert and healthy.
Kiran Prakash:
True, I was not well, but I enjoyed conducting the free-hand exercises. It made me feel closer to the group, perhaps with this little 'contribution' to the Club. In fact, I would love to conduct exercises once in a while. It feels good. It is like giving back a little to society.

Bench Strength

Vasudev Batheja (in striped tee) gets a round of applause

Till a couple of years back, nobody stayed behind after the exercises in the Garden. No sooner were the prayers over than everybody dispersed hastily for the day. If some people would still hang around, it meant something significant was on – an unfinished business, a major fight or altercation... or more likely, a birthday treat.
Today, the opposite holds true. Nobody needs a reason to stick around after exercising. Something or the other would automatically grab the attention – an announcement, jokes narrated from SMS forwards, photo sessions, pranks played by regular pranksters…

Khatoon Baig

In fact, it is for the post-exercise session that nowadays many are marking their attendance. And for their convenience, half-a dozen benches have come up recently so that they can all sit comfortably and enjoy the fun.
Significantly, the bench strength is increasing with every passing day as even outsiders (read non-members) are now joining in. Today, for instance, Vasudev Batheja plonked himself uninvited in our midst and belted out a couple of Mukesh songs much to our delight and requests for encore.

All ears on Kajal Babani's Internet jokes

This was over and above the many rib-ticklers narrated by some of the most unlikeliest people, Kajal Babani and Banu Apa included.
One small incident was however, to take the cake – and the bakery too! Khatoon Baig had known that Shekhawat was to leave today for Jaipur (ref post of April 16) and could not believe her eyes when she saw him merrily jumping around. She did not know that his flight was in the afternoon. In her understanding, Shekhawat had already left for Jaipur and it was impossible that he could still be in the Garden.
Clearly perturbed and agitated, Khatoon made repeated inquiries with the ladies around her but received no satisfactory reply. Now blame it on her hyperactive imagination or failing eyesight, she arrived at one conclusion: The person she was observing all the while had to be Shekhawat’s GHOST! And the best part was she blurted it out in so many words. When everybody exploded in laughter, she quickly retracted: “Either you people are mad or you'd drive me mad!”
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is encouraging that non-members are also finding it interesting and jovial to join the gathering after the exercises. More the merrier.

Day 1953

Pic of the Week

BEAT THE HEAT... with chilled, creamy lassi

Maitra-ji takes the entire heat on himself but keeps us cool with the chilled lassi. Where will we get such a friend, except in the Garden? Once again, thank you very much Maitra-ji for the chilled treat. God bless you always. --Kiran Prakash

Mallika-ji, there will be no more promotions for you. So stop bribing members with lassi, tea, etc. It is very harmful for the next president. --Bihari Milwani

Bihari-ji, this was not Mallika-ji's treat, but Maitra-ji's. You missed it. Are you in the running for the next president? --Anonymous

Thank you, Mr Maitra for the yummy thanda lassi on Poila Boishakh. What a way to begin the Bengali New Year! --Bhaswati Bose

I thank you, Kiran-ji for all your good words on a very small effort on my part to celebrate Poila Boishakh. By the by, I did not take any heat as I also shared the lassi with you, Kiran-ji.
Bihari-ji, I do not have any hidden agenda. It seems you are mistaken.
Thanks Bhaswati-ji, I am happy you all enjoyed the lassi. We will have it once again with all our members. --Siba Prasad Maitra

Bereaved

Hari Singh Shekhawat

Shekhawat’s brother-in-law (sister’s husband) has passed away in his village, near Jaipur.
A navy veteran like him, he had been ailing for some time. “The news reached me the day-before,” Shekhawat informed. “He was suffering from a number of age-related problems, but mercifully, did not suffer too much in the end. He passed away peacefully. I could not attend the cremation, but will have to go there anyway.”
Shekhawat has his air tickets booked for April 19 (Tuesday) and will be back, not before next month. “I wanted to go by train, but this being the holiday season, no rail reservations are available,” he said.
Shekhawat is himself keeping indifferent health and has developed inhibitions on air travel because of his delicate heart condition and a recent carotid artery surgery. Even more worrisome is the heat wave in Rajasthan and as he says, even fans are a luxury in his village. “But what to do? As the death is in the family, it is my duty as an elder to go,” he adds.
We join Shekhawat in mourning and pray for the departed soul to rest in peace.
Kiran Prakash:
I am sad to know the sudden demise of Hari-ji's brother-in-law. I pray to God that his soul rests in peace. I also pray the bereaved family gets enough strength to bear this loss.

Odd Man Out

Gupta faces Mallika's wrath

After yesterday's dramatic dressing down (ref post), Bijoy Gupta came today ‘decently' dressed. In place of his trademark singlet, he came wearing a proper T-shirt. But he was still wearing half-pants – an eye sore for Mallika Kagzi. Short of taking those offensive knickers off, she went after him hammer and tongs, directing that he quit the Garden forthwith. Completely at a loss for words, Gupta realized that he had unleashed the fury of heaven and hell combined and wisely chose to keep his counsel and smile foolishly.
It did not take Gupta long to discover that he was the odd man out this morning since everyone else (including Bose Babu) had come “with their legs fully covered”. Still, he could not fathom how exposing barely a few inches of his legs (“from the hem of his shorts to the elastic of his socks”) could invite charges of indecent exposure.

Mallika entreats Gupta with delicacies from Hyderabad

His other argument, which also fell into deaf ears, was that he was the "indisputable lion of the club" (as per the lion-lioness laughter round) and even the President of India cannot make a lion wear full pants!
In the end, he tried hard to negotiate with Mallika: “I will wear full pants, but on one condition. You first get all the ladies to wear shorts from tomorrow and I will follow your orders from the day-after.” He was promptly served with an ultimatum to fall in line by Monday, or else…
In all this display of fire and fury, Mallika was to reveal her kindhearted side also as she went on to entreat Gupta with the goodies she had brought from her recent Hyderabad trip. Gupta sulked initially, blinking at Mallika like a scolded child and then gorged with the rest on the piles of pudding, cup cakes, baklawas and biscuits. And if that were not enough, there was Swati Punjabi providing the proverbial icing on the top with ladles of suji ka halwa. Who could have asked for more!

Fresh Start

NEW BEGINNING: Mumtaz Jahan takes to the middle for the first time

Today was an auspicious day. From Poila Baisakh to Puthandu to Bihu and Vishu, a plethora of Hindu festivals have converged upon us, all signifying one thing – happy tidings on the new year.

Monthi hands over charge

It is an occasion for a fresh start. And Monthi Serrao understandably chose this holy day to formally hand over the Club’s accounts to the new treasurer, Kajal Babani. Indeed, very thoughtful of her.
For the rest of us, it was a day of joy and celebration. Siba Prasad Maitra took the Club out to a stall nearby for a round of chilled, creamy lassi.

Siba Maitra (ext left) treat us to lassi on Bengali New Year

Nothing could be more welcome and god-sent on a sultry morning than this refreshing treat. It takes a Bengali’s imagination to come up with something so out-of-the-ordinary, especially on Poila Baisakh. Indeed, very considerate of him.
But the bigger celebration was the arrival of Mallika Kagzi. She had landed from Hyderabad by the Hussain Sagar Express barely two hours earlier and after freshening up at home, made a quick beeline to the Garden. “What to do, the pull of the Club was so compelling that I couldn’t rest peacefully at home,” she said.
Mallika was accorded a welcome befitting the president of Big Laaf, what with Kiran Prakash, Dilip Babani, Geeta Latte and others lining up solider-like and pulling off a smart salute in her honour.

Welcome back, Mallika Kagzi

Clearly, she enjoyed all the attention till suddenly, her mind started working overtime. “From tomorrow, none of you guys should come wearing shorts for the exercises,” she declared. “I’ll be standing at the gate.

Mallika cooks Gupta's goose

Anybody I see coming in shorts will be sent back!”
We were all shaken out of our wits. But this was also the trigger for today’s entertainment. No amount of reasoning could change the president’s decision with Bijoy Gupta (ref yesterday’s post) eventually turning out to be the fall guy. “Females are wearing shorts everywhere and here you want us men to drop our shorts for full pants?” he argued like a clueless schoolboy. “You should actually be telling the ladies to wear shorts from tomorrow. Go check in any gym…”
Mallika was in no mood for excuses. “Order is order,” she said wagging a finger at Gupta.
“But I don’t understand,” Gupta pleaded. “Why do you want men to cover their legs? Tomorrow, who knows you might order men to cover themselves from top to toe and start wearing burqa to exercise…”
The fun and games had just begun.
Dilip Babani:
Very nice photos!
Bihari Milwani:
Gupta-ji, please remember that the boss (president) is always right!

New Club?

Bijoy Kumar Gupta

Not many are blessed with the presence of mind and facility of the (Hindi) language that Bijoy Kumar Gupta commands. He can badmouth anyone in a dozen different ways and the person would still feel grateful and laugh with him. His choice of words makes all the difference.
This morning though, Gupta did not target Shekhawat, his good old bête noire. Instead, he floated a rumour which surprisingly, the latter was to take seriously for a while.
“What are you doing here?” Gupta asked no one in particular.

A colorful Wednesday morning

“I hear a new school (read ‘laughter club’) is being opened in this Garden and they shall be offering Rs1,000 to every person who joins. And here we are charged Rs600 to retain our membership. We must be fools to be paying whereas we should actually be earning a lot of money!”
Shekhawat’s ears perked up. He broke out of the exercises and mumbled into Gupta’s ears. “I am not mad,” Gupta jerked away instantly. “Better you come with me.

Jackfruit treat from Jaishri Satpute

You will not only get your thousand rupees but who knows, a new set of saalis and girlfriends…”
By then everyone had pretty much guessed that Gupta was pulling Shekhawat’s leg. Some joked about 'dual membership’ – the idea being to shuttle between two clubs and just making sure to be where the party was every day. The suggestion amounted to putting Shekhawat’s loyalty to test.
Meanwhile, the Club appears to have outgrown the practice of wearing uniforms as a number of members today rejected the imposition of having to wear green on Wednesdays. Apparently a decision to this effect was taken by the managing committee last week. So Kiran Prakash basked in a beautiful sunny tee and dark trousers (“copyrighting Mumbai’s black-and yellow taxi”) while Kajal Babani preened around in smart zebra stripes and other ladies displayed a variety of checks and vibrant prints, reflecting the cheerful mood of the morning. Men mostly kept to regulation whites.
“Change is the only constant in life,” observed Siba Prasad Maitra philosophically. “Nobody can resist change.”
Kiran Prakash:
In fact, when I was equated to Mumbai's 'kaali-peeli taxi' I volunteered to ferry people to Juhu beach after the exercises. But no one came forward. Better luck next time. We have had enough of this dress code. Let us now breathe freely. Let PRESIDENT come back from her holiday. We will then settle this issue for ever.

Too Hot!

Mumtaz Jahan treats us to Dilli ka luddoo

The April heat is hitting us bad. It is the kind of heat fit to fry you in your own juices, if not blow you up in smoke. Surely, not a nice way to start the day!
Yet, for the past few days we are witnessing a record turnout every morning for the exercises – nothing less than 30 on an average. From Rakhi Bansi to Sitaram Hivarkar to Yusuf Rassiwala and Pushpa Gupta, many of the not-so-regular sorts are religiously attending the ‘classes’ from start to finish.
Some of course, would be landing up late, as did Kiran Prakash today. Much as he explained that he felt unusually lethargic after waking up, the real reason for reporting towards the end of the exercises was something else. Even Mumtaz Jahan timed her visit this morning – loaded with luddoos from Delhi -- with the post-exercise session.
The purpose behind all this late-coming is nothing but to catch up with the entertainment once the day's exercises are over.

Dilip Babani gets biscuits for us

Jokes narration in progress

The heat does not matter then, or whether you are exhausted, soaked to the bones in sweat or still gasping for breath. What matters is whether you’d have survived the battering on the back (god forbid if it was to be Swati Punjabi behind) at the end of the exercises. Thereafter, do you have the stomach for the unending rounds of jokes and eats and drinks and tomfoolery and monkeying around and the masti-mazaak…? Most important, are you able to laugh at yourself? All the fun and frolic hinges on to this crucial factor. That, in essence, constitutes our ‘prime time’ entertainment. Everything else, including the weather, recedes into insignificance.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It is too hot throughout the country. Despite this, it is nice to know that attendance is very high. Healthy sign.

Dry Party

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHANTI SINGH!

Shanti Singh celebrated her birthday today with choco-bars. It was a treat delayed by a day… but then, Sunday being a holiday, the earliest she could celebrate was this morning. Apart from raising the customary ‘fourth laugh’ after the exercises, we sang and rejoiced with her, wishing her many happy returns of the day.
The low-key celebration was the outcome of a rather unfortunate incident last week. Two highly respectable and senior ex-members from the Club had reportedly complained against us for celebrating birthday parties and littering the Garden.
Petty as this may appear, it was seen to be in retaliation against their

Shekhawat and Razia Khan

being expelled from Big Laaf recently. Even today, the ‘traitorous act’ of the duo was discussed and roundly condemned.
Be that as it may, Razia Khan came up with a new nomenclature for parties. She insists that Shekhawat should now throw a ‘wet party’ to celebrate his arrears received under the ‘One Rank One Pension’ scheme.
“Enough of dry parties!” she exclaimed. “It’s time we had a wet party from Shekhawat. His birthday is also coming up this month.”
Shekhawat is absolute game. But it would help if Razia explains the what, when and where of the ‘wet’ party. In the absence of any clarity, we will have to trust Shekhawat’s understanding on the subject. In his dictionary, wet can mean only one thing… Yes, you guessed it right.
Bihari Milwani:
'Wet party' means that the primary starter is VAT 69!
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Birthday and pension are two different issues. But both are worth celebrating. Celebrations are never too late!

Day 1946

Pic of the Week

HIGH FIVE: "Quick, somebody get a ladder... please!"

She is quick to grab the opportunity to rise while others wait for a ladder! Indeed a good lesson in management. --Kiran Prakash

A Dream Husband: Lambi jiski height ho, saas se jab fight ho, toh bole, 'Janoo tum hi right ho'! --Bihari Milwani

Thank you, Kiran-ji and Bihari-ji... --Swati Punjabi

Delegation of Duties

Banoo Apa announces portfolios

Members of the managing committee had their jobs cut out today. Reading from a prepared statement, Banoo Apa formally allotted ‘portfolios’ to her six colleagues who will hold office for the next two years, till March 2018:
• Razia Khan: Admissions
• Geeta Latte: Daily Exercises
• Nahid Khan: Discipline
• Kiran Prakash: Revenue generation
• Bhaswati Bose: Recreation activities
• Bijoy Gupta: Complaints and Redress
Each of them shall head a sub-committee, reporting to the three office bearers -- Mallika Kagzi (president), Banoo Apa (secretary) and Kajal Babani (treasurer).
Not that this is any big deal.

The six heads of six sub-committees

While everyone recognizes the need for accountability and infusing a sense of internal democracy, the ‘delegation of duties’ was taken with a sackful of salt. For instance, it was beyond Gupta’s comprehension why there should at all be a sub-committee on discipline. “The Club is running fine,” he observed. “Nobody comes here drunk, nobody smokes, nobody gets beaten up… then why have a disciplinary committee?”
He himself is at a loss in figuring out what his ‘duty’ on redressing complaints would entail. For that matter, nobody is quite clear about their role, until explained in layman’s language. Thus Razia is being described as the ‘gateman’ of the Club who would henceforth decide who to admit and when. Nahid shall function as the police, enforcing the rule of law while Bhaswati will come up with songs ‘n’ dances whenever people get bored. Gupta shall serve as the Club’s conscience keeper, whichever way he interprets it. And in this circus, there shall be Geeta Latte playing ringmaster, ensuring the exercises go on uninterrupted.
Clearly, the only serious job on hand is that of Kiran Prakash.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
Delegation of duties is important so that everyone understands his/her role. However, the duties are not watertight. It is the oneness, homogeneity and well-being of all members -- the cardinal principles on which our club functions -- that should always be kept in mind.
Kiran Prakash:
Who says the only serious job on hand is that of Kiran Prakash? I heard somebody saying that "Kiran Prakash will now have to come with a begging bowl to Garden every day" to generate revenue. Hats off to the humour quotient of our members. Obviously, I have not taken it seriously.

Membership Renewal

Kajal Babani keeps tally of cash collected

Santosh Tyagi

This is that time of the year when the Club wakes up to discover that money is running out. Shekhawat would get into the act of reminding everybody to pay up and renew their membership. Before the month is out and monsoon sets in, the reservoirs of Big Laaf should be full and brimming over.
This morning our new treasurer, Kajal Babani joined forces with Shekhawat and together they generated more than Rs9,000 for the kitty. The target is merely Rs40,000-odd -- not including registration charges. But these are early days still and given the dynamism of our newly-elected managing committee, a cash crunch is the last thing on anybody’s mind.
Meanwhile, the Club is witnessing a good deal of mobility with several members moving in and out these days.

Kadir Banu (in white) is back from performing Umrah

Today morning Santosh Tyagi air dashed to Delhi upon hearing that her mother had taken ill.

Mohar Singh

Mallika Kagzi would be leaving for Hyderabad this evening and shall return around mid-April. Razia Khan would also have to be away from April 10 in Pune while Harbans Kaur is running from pillar to post, consulting doctors on her husband’s medical condition. Her son had to leave to resume his job in Australia. Then there is Mohar Singh who returned this morning after attending the last rites of his elder sister in Uttar Pradesh. And on a happy note, Kadir Banu Khan reported for the exercises, having performed Umrah (in Mecca) last month. She had brought along holy water and dates from the pilgrimage… Life goes on in the Garden.

Presidential Feast

Mallika (r) attends to her 'guests'

Only the cutlery was missing. We had to make do with paper plates and plastic spoons, but nobody was complaining. The huge helpings of keema-pao and veggies, followed by unending rounds of tea, were as sumptuous as a morning feast can be, befitting hostess Mallika Kagzi’s exalted position as our new president.
“I felt really bad when there was not enough food to go around on Saturday,” she said by way of an apology on under-estimating her popularity at the Club meeting (ref post of April 2).

Banoo Apa

“I did not honestly expect so many people to turn up and honor me.

Party time, once again!

Since some friends went away disappointed, this is my way of saying sorry and making amends.”
For most of us though, this proved a ‘double treat’ as we had managed to not only help ourselves on Saturday, but also gorged on the grand repast today. It was also an occasion to wiggle a thumb at those who could not go on the Royal Hills’ picnic yesterday and to remind them in different words, of all the fun and games they missed (check slideshow in the panel alongside). Nahid Khan, Swati Punjabi, Geeta Latte and others were shown snapshots and video recordings of the picnic taken on mobile phones only to make them green with envy.
A silly old man however, struck a discordant note. Not known to any of us, he picked on Banoo Apa in the middle of the exercises and lectured her on a Marathi proverb, which, in translation, meant that “drum beats sound good from a distance”. Taken aback, Banoo was at a loss to figure out the intention behind the lecture and why, of all the people, was she being singled out to hear such tripe. She flared up and unceremoniously packed off the foolish old fellow.
“I don’t like being called out by some random stranger,” she muttered to herself before resuming the exercises.
Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
It appears that the 'laafter club' pays more attention to the belly rather than fitness of the body and soul. Let us be more attentive towards laughing and joking and be happy and healthy.

Day 1942

Pic of the Week

AT ROYAL HILLS RESORT... THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

He has conquered age -- an inspiration to all others, even 20 years younger (including me) who were left watching him with envy. Tum ho ek missaal! --Kiran Prakash

Mandatory Meeting

Saying it with flowers...

Saying it with a shawl...

Bijoy Gupta also has his say

Big Laaf turned the corner today. A crucial meeting, mandatory within 15 days of the Club elections, was convened this morning by the new president, Mallika Kagzi. She was accompanied by Sheher Banoo Khan and Kajal Babani, the newly-elected secretary and treasurer respectively

Mallika Kagzi flanked by Banoo Apa (l) and Kajal Babani (r)

as well as other members of the managing committee – Razia Khan, Kiran Prakash, Nahid Khan, Bhaswati Bose, Geeta Latte and Bijoy Gupta.
The China Hut was packed to the rafters with as many as 31 members in attendance and what’s more, a group of Garden regulars turned up to felicitate Mallika (she is apparently “Didi” to them) on the occasion.

Mallika Kagzi

In what turned out to be an unprecedented but thoughtful gesture, they gifted her a beautiful memento, apart from a bouquet of flowers (presented by a little girl) and Navin Shah and his wife wrapping a ceremonial shawl around Mallika’s shoulders. Never before have we had so many so-called non-members rejoicing with us in a Club celebration imbued by the spirit of warm conviviality and inclusivity.
As usual Yusuf Rassiwala called the meeting to order, with Mallika making her opening remarks followed by Banoo Apa and Kajal Babani. Soon, other members of the committee were to join, though in a manner of wisecracks and witticisms, before settling down to serious business.

Well-wishers from Garden gather to felicitate their "didi"

A clutch of five resolutions were adopted on matters ranging from changing the registered address of the Club to re-appointment of the auditor for the new financial year and authorizing signatories for operating bank accounts.
Separately, it was decided to delegate certain key activities of the Club to six sub-committees, each headed by a managing committee member who would, in turn, report directly to the secretary/ president. The sub-committees would be entrusted with (a) Admissions (and expulsions);
(b) Ensuring smooth and uninterrupted conduct of exercises daily;
(c) Maintaining discipline;

Presidential address greeted with round of applause

(d) Organising cultural programs and recreational activities;
(e) Revenue generation; and
(f) Complaints and redressal.
One common strand ran through all discussions. Be it Banoo or Razia, Bhaswati or Geeta, everyone stressed on the need for unity and refraining from any infighting and use of foul language in the Club. But the piece de resistance came from Bijoy Gupta in his thanksgiving speech: “Thank you all for finding me worthy of being on the managing committee. I’ve been coming to the Garden for the last 15 years and nobody had found me fit to be even a chowkidar. You people have bestowed on me a rare honor. I don’t know what is expected of me, but I am happy. Thank you very much.”
After the customary vote of thanks, the meeting broke for refreshments, courtesy Mallika. Amid all the backslapping and congratulatory handshakes, Yusuf R was to have the last word. He described the meeting as free-wheeling and fun-filled... "But more importantly, it was dignified and civilised”, he underlined.

Meeting in progress

Time to wrap up

Light refreshments

Lt Col Angad Singh (from Mohali):
The first meeting of the newly-elected management committee, duly empowered by an all-women team had nicely deliberated on all the issues. The refreshments could not have been 'light', when arranged by Mallika Kagzi!